If you tried everything to heal after a break up, maybe it’s time to turn to God. Here’s how spirituality helps heal broken hearts and revives life after the death of a relationship.
Some people are good at recovering from pain, hardship, and disappointment, while others have a hard time healing from a paper cut. What makes people resilient? How do strong people heal from bad break ups?
“Without exception, spirituality – the belief in connection, a power greater than self, and interconnections grounded in love and compassion – emerged as a component of resilience,” writes Brene Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection.
Spirituality isn’t the only way to heal from a bad relationship break up, but it may be one of the best ways. If you’re spiritual, you believe that God or a Higher Power has your best interests at heart, loves you, and wouldn’t do anything to harm you.
How God Helps You Heal From a Break Up
Prayer increases forgiveness
Research shows that 9 out of 10 Americans say that they pray – at least on occasion. New research from Florida State University also shows that people who pray have fewer vengeful thoughts and emotions, and are more ready to forgive and move on. Prayer appears to shift attention from one’s self to others, which allows resentment and bad feelings to fade.
If you feel angry, bitter, and resentful because of a bad break up, spirituality can help you let go of the negative emotions and move on to a happier, healthier place. Prayer helps you feel selflessly concerned about others, which increases your ability to forgive and let go.
Speaking of letting go – if you’re holding on tightly to the person you broke up with, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
God wants the best for you
I’ve healed from all sorts of disappointing, heartbreaking things in life – including bad breakups – because I believe God loves me. “I love plans to prosper you, not to harm you,” He says in Jeremiah.
It doesn’t matter to me if Christianity is “true” or if God is a male or female. I don’t care if Heaven and Hell don’t exist. All that matters to me is the peace, joy, love, compassion, and hope I feel when I spend time with God.
Spirituality can help you heal from a bad break up by giving you the sense that Someone is looking out for you and wanting the best for you. You begin to believe that all things happen for a reason – and beyond this, that Someone is orchestrating your life for a higher purpose.
Prayer helps women cope with bad relationships
Research with women in abusive relationships shows that prayer helps with releasing negative emotions and changing how we see ourselves.
“During prayer, victims came to see themselves as they believed God saw them. Since these perceptions were mostly positive, it helped raise their senses of self-worth that counteracted their abusers’ hurtful words,” says Shane Sharp, a graduate student studying sociology at UW-Madison.
Prayer is also a handy distraction for some people. Simply your folding hands and concentrating on what to say is a reprieve from the anxiety of an abusive relationship or bad break up. The experience isn’t that much different from a conversation with a close friend or a parent, which can be extremely helpful in healing from a break up.
Spirituality holds answers you can’t see
My husband and I can’t have kids, and I firmly believe God is protecting us from something. Maybe it’s a child I can’t handle, or a child with a terminal illness. I don’t know what would’ve happened if Bruce and I had kids, but I choose to believe that for some reason we’re better off without them.
Spirituality has helped me heal from a broken heart by reassuring me that there are reasons for the things that happen in my life. I do not know why my life is unfolding the way it is, or why I’ve had to suffer painful things, but I believe there are reasons for everything.
If you’re suffering from the pain of a bad break up, do you think God can heal your heart? Spirituality works in different ways for different people – you don’t have to believe in God to feel connected to the Universe or a higher power.
If you need more tips for healing after a bad break up, read How to Move on After Your Marriage Ends.
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.