Should you break up with your boyfriend? Here are five reasons to dump him right now – before you’re in too deep.
The longer you put it off, the harder it’ll be.
“I am constantly anxious and angry when I’m with him,” says a reader on one of my most popular articles. “When I let my guard down and say something he thinks is wrong, he attacks.”
That doesn’t sound like a love relationship – it sounds like war. If your boyfriend is emotionally unreachable, read For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men.
The more you learn about how men think and why they act the way they do, the better able you’ll be to decide if it’s time to break up with your boyfriend.
5 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Boyfriend
These signs are from the comments sections – they’re real comments from readers who ignored the warning signs of a bad relationship. This is a taste of reality that will help you see your relationship more clearly.
He has poor or non-existent relationships with other people
“My boyfriend has no friends at all (and thinks that is normal), only one previous girlfriend before me (and he was in his mid 30s when I met him), and has a weird, secretive relationship with his family.”
If you boyfriend doesn’t have healthy friendships or work relationships, then he probably hasn’t learned how to connect and interact with others. He doesn’t know how to treat people with respect, resolve conflict, or accept that others may have different opinions and behaviors than he does.
Not only will his poor relationships affect your love relationship, they’ll also affect how he raises his children. Do you want your kids to see him as a role model? If not, it’s a sign you should break up with your boyfriend.
He is overly interested in your friends – or he cheats with your best friend
“I was with my boyfriend for just over two years. Our relationship had many ups and downs. One of the major problems was his connection with one of my closest friends. During the early stages of our relationship, my boyfriend and my best friend became very close. They would talk on the phone constantly. He would stop mid-sentence with me to reply to her texts.”
If your boyfriend isn’t as interested in you as he is in your friends/sister/boss/coworkers, then it’s time to break up with him.
The girlfriend in the above comment later shared that her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend.
He tells you he’s not into you
“My boyfriend sent me a text message that said, “I don’t feel the love anymore, take care, move on.” I asked why and he texted, “It’s not you, it’s me, I’m not in love with you, I’m staying single, and I want to be able to talk to other woman, sorry, take care.” After I sent him a few more texts, he texted “Texting isn’t going to change how I feel, I’ve met someone, take care.””
I know how heartbreaking it is to hear the man you love say he doesn’t love you anymore…but you have to be strong and courageous enough to cut all ties with him!
Don’t be a fool for love. Have enough self-respect and self-confidence to move on.
He doesn’t trust you
“My boyfriend goes through my personal emails and messages behind my back…he constantly accuses me of keeping secrets and meeting other guys behind his back. When I deny it, he starts beating me up physically and calls me names. He’s jealous of everything I do, and always has been.”
One of the major signs a woman needs to break up with her boyfriend is emotional or physical abuse. But, many women stay in unhealthy, terrible relationships because they hope their boyfriends will change.
Are you in one of those relationships? Read 5 Stages of Abuse Women Go Through Before Leaving an Abuser.
You hope he’ll change
“I stayed with my husband for years, hoping he would change. NOTHING has changed. I don’t love him and I simply stayed for our 11 year old son.”
This sign you should break up with your boyfriend is more about you than him.
People don’t change – and you can’t expect them to. Are you with a man who keeps promising you things will be different in the future? Don’t believe him. If things were really going to change, then they’d already be different.
I know there are other signs you should break up with your boyfriend – what have I missed?
If you’re still confused about breaking up with your boyfriend, read Is It Better to Give Up on Your Relationship or Try to Make It Work?
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.