5 Ways to Overcome Fear of Success for Writers
In Signs of Self-Sabotage in the Writing Life, I described what being afraid of succeeding looks like for some aspiring and established writers. Here are five tips for overcoming fear of success, and achieving even the most lofty writing goals!
Before the tips, a quip:
“You just have to work with what God sends, and if God doesn’t seem to understand the concept of commercial success, then that’s your bad luck.” ~ H L Mencken.
That’s a great way to overcome your fears of writing and getting published! Work with what you have – whatever God or the Universe sends – and flow with whatever happens next. Put your fears, anxieties, and “what ifs” aside, and live it out. Here’s a book that a fellow blogger recommended about fear of success (thanks Jenny of Workin on a Ramp!) The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles – click the cover to learn more. And, here are a few ways to cope with self-sabotage for writers and bloggers…
6 Tips for Overcoming Fear of Success for Writers and Bloggers
Writers may never get over the fear of success or fear of failure, but that doesn’t mean we can’t progress towards our writing goals! These tips won’t make fears disappear…but they can help writers write and bloggers blog…and maybe even get happily published…
1. Accept your fear. Be scared. Are you afraid of sending article pitches to editors, asking agents to represent you, writing sample chapters that may never be read, or otherwise sharing your writing dreams? Don’t fight it, fellow scribes. Accept it. We’re all scared – even the most successful writers. Read Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers (one of my favorites!). Make that phrase your motto. Simply feeling the fear and forging ahead anyway can help you cope with fear of success.
2. Figure out why you’re sabotaging your writing goals. You don’t have to see a psychologist to figure out why you fear success (though I admit I’m a big fan of counseling!). To get to the bottom of it, talk to people you trust, write in your journal, and be as honest and objective as possible. What are you afraid to admit? What do you know, that you aren’t allowing yourself to know? What’s holding you back? You don’t even have to go further than that. Just allowing your fears and anxieties to permeate your consciousness can free you to be more creative, more productive.
3. Accept failure as part of succeeding. “It’s a common assumption that if you really try your hardest to get something and don’t get it, you’ll be shattered – so it’s safer not to risk going out at all,” says Barbara Sher in Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want (another of my favorites!). “That is totally false. The exact opposite is true.” If you try and fail to get published, you won’t feel as bad as you think. You’ll gain experience, education, contacts, and self-confidence as a writer. Failure makes you smarter, stronger, more savvy, and more likely to succeed (if, of course, you don’t give up).
4. View your writing and editing skills as changeable. Research from the University of Toronto shows that if you think your professional skills and abilities are fixed, then you’ll become anxious if you’re successful. These psychologists found that people who think their capabilities are fixed get disoriented when they succeed, and their performance then spirals downward. To overcome fear of success as a writer or blogger, remind yourself that you will be a better writer in a year or two (or ten!) and you will be able to handle your success and your fears. Remember: your writing and blogging skills are constantly improving – they’re not set in stone.
5. Compete against yourself – not other writers or bloggers. “Competition in which one person must lose in order for us to win tends to undermine the best in most of us,” writes Robert K. Cooper in The Other 90%: How to Unlock Your Vast Untapped Potential for Leadership and Life (another great book!) “It makes us wary and distrustful of others, causes us to withhold and distort information, makes us intolerable of uncertainty and change, and it so narrows our focus that constructive creativity is practically shut down.” To overcome fear of success as a writer, don’t compete with other freelancers, bloggers, novelists, screenwriters, etc. Instead, compare your achievements and goals to where you were a year ago. Focus on your own progress, and celebrate the progress of others.
Is there a part of you that is afraid to pitch editors of magazines, ask literary agents to represent you, or send your book manuscript to publishers? Are you afraid of failing…or of succeeding? I welcome your thoughts below…
Want to make your blog "sticky", so visitors stay longer? Try this beta "Click and Stick" program -- it's free!
But before you can entice visitors to stick to your blog, you need to learn a bit of search engine optimization. Scribe SEO offers information for web writers, bloggers, and affiliate marketers.
And, to find more freelance writing and editing jobs, consider joining GoFreelance.
11 Comment(s)
2 Trackback(s)
- From Friday Link-up | J. Mark Miller | A Writer's Fantasy | Jan 29, 2010
- From Extroverted Writers, Skin Problems, Why Couples Break Up – New on Quips and Tips | The Adventurous Writer | Jan 30, 2010
I interviewed a writer just...
Christine | Jan 26, 2010 | Reply
This is a great post, though I have had the opposite problem…when I started my freelance writing career, I was fearless. I pitched everyone and anyone, and landed quite a few writing assignments. I look back at my query letters from those days and cringe, but ignorance is bliss…and when I started, I must have been pretty blissed out!
Now that I know more about the magazine industry, what makes editors tick, how to craft a query letter, I get hung up on perfection. I also begin to fear and doubt my ability. Rejections sting more nowadays than they used to…maybe because I now have the credentials to write, so if I am rejected, it is simply because there is no interest in my pitch. Before, I could just assume I lacked the experience.
Anyway, I am constantly working at overcoming my fear…but I can’t help but long for those bygone, blissful days!
Christine´s last blog post ..Conversation Hearts
Samantha Clark | Jan 26, 2010 | Reply
Great list. Thanks.
It’s hard not to doubt yourself and think the worst, but ultimately, you can’t gain without trying, and if someone says no, it doesn’t change who you are.
Lorie Huston | Jan 27, 2010 | Reply
There are some great suggestions in this post. For me, and I think for a lot of writers, fear of success at least in part equates to fear of failure or rejection when we pitch something to an editor or agent. So, I think your advice about accepting your fear and learning from your “failures” is important. As Samantha said, “you can’t gain without trying”.
I also think it’s important for all of to realize, as you so correctly pointed out, that our writing skills improve with time. Our goals also tend to change over time and that’s okay too, as long as the change is in a positive direction.
Lorie Huston´s last blog post ..Dental Health Care for Dogs and Cats
Jon Bard | Jan 27, 2010 | Reply
I’m not much on touchy-feely new age sort of stuff, so I turn to some old-school books for inspiration. And man, do they provide it — these guys were all about obtaining success and their brashness really rubs off on you.
Get the audio versions of these books and spend some time every day to listen:
“As a Man Thinketh” – James Allen
“The Science of Getting Rich” – Wallace Wattles
“Think and Grow Rich” – Napolean Hill
Jon Bard´s last blog post ..Video: What Should I Write About?
Gini Grey | Jan 27, 2010 | Reply
I love number 3, Laurie – accept failure as part of success. Why do we often only see the extremes of success OR failure. Really, everything is just an experience and can be an education as you mentioned. Without failure, most people wouldn’t achieve great things.
I love the books Jon Bard mentioned but I had to laugh about the comment “I’m not much on touchy-feely new age…”. As I see those books as new age – especially the Science of Getting Rich – it’s all about trusting the “stuff” as Wallace called it – the Source, God, Universe as others would call it – it’s all touchy feely stuff but it’s also reality as far as I see it.
Gini Grey´s last blog post ..Intuition
Grant | Jan 27, 2010 | Reply
I just wanted to say thanks, because I’m definitely one of those writers who has a fear of success! Your tips help.
Grant
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen | Jan 28, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for your comments — this was one of my favorite posts to write! A combination of psychology and writing…could life GET any better?
Christine – that’s so interesting, that your perfectionism is coming out now that you’re an experienced freelance writer. I can see how knowledge of how the business works can affect your pitches and response to rejection…..though I think it’s the opposite for most writers! You’re a unique woman
But I too miss those carefree days of pitching with ignorance — I know exactly what you mean.
Samantha – I’ve been trying to teach myself that for ages: external responses to me don’t change who I am. Thanks for the reminder — it’s important.
Lorie – fear of failure is a very real struggle for many writers, yes. One of my fellow writers summed fear of success up well when she said it can involve fear of change. If you get a book contract or literary agent, your life may look alot different! That can be hard to handle.
Jon – I like that approach, too. Focus on success and going after it with your gloves on and your dukes up. “Think and Grow Rich” is a classic!
Gini – thanks for your comment on failure. How we handle failure determines how successful we’ll ultimately be, as writers and as human beings in general.
I appreciate your comments, fellow scribes!
Laurie
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post ..How to Make Conversation for Introverts – Tips for Small Talk
George Angus | Jan 30, 2010 | Reply
Wow.
This is me, self reflecting.
Powerful post this time, Laurie
George
George Angus´s last blog post ..Flash Fiction The Good Knight
Jamie | Feb 8, 2010 | Reply
I struggle with a fear of success from time to time, so thanks for these tips!
Great blog, by the way; it’s very helpful : )
Fear of Success? | Feb 13, 2010 | Reply
I ran across your post and I have to say “Wow!” Its like you read my mind. I have been battling this issue with my own writing for many years. Its something I deal with on a daily basis and at times becomes very scary.
Thank you for posting this…its not a wake up call but a confirmation that I am not alone.
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen | Feb 15, 2010 | Reply
Thanks for your comments….I think fear is very real for many writers. Fear of rejection, of judgement, of criticism, of not being good enough, of succeeding, of failing…so many possibilities! And, different writers have different fears.
Anyway, I hope this article helps you overcome all fears of writing success, and spurs you to become a successful writer — beyond your wildest dreams!
Laurie
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog post ..6 Ways to Keep Your Blog High in Google’s Search Engine Results