Comments like “Infertility stinks – it’s the worst thing in the world” makes me want to take a vodka bath – straight up. Infertility is NOT the worst thing to happen to you!
Below is a list of reasons why infertility isn’t the worst thing to happen to you – but first, an explanation of where the “Infertility stinks – it’s the worst thing in the world” comment came from.
Giuliana Rancic, co-anchor of E! News, was guest co-host for ABC’s “The View” in honor of World Fertility Awareness Month. She opened the episode on surrogacy saying that infertility stinks and it’s the worst thing in the world.
If you’re struggling with infertility depression, despair, or dreck, read Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal. It’s my favorite book on emotional healing and growth – I’ve read it several times. It’s probably why I don’t think infertility is the worst thing to happen to you.
If You Think Infertility is the Worst Thing, You’re Setting Yourself Up
If you adopt the “poor me – I’m infertile (or my husband is infertile) and we can’t afford infertility treatments and all I want to do is have a baby”, then you’re setting yourself up for a life of bitterness, strife, envy, and pain.
Why would you do that to yourself? Why is having a kid the only thing that makes your life meaningful?
Thinking that infertility is the worst thing that could ever happen gives you a negative, depressed, unhealthy perspective that is not based in reality. It blocks all the potential goodness in your life. It stops you from seeing and enjoying the happy things in life.
And it stops you from being grateful for who and what you do have.
If you think infertility is the worst thing in the world, you haven’t slept in a back alley in a cardboard box with your single mom and sister, survived someone breaking into your apartment in the middle of the night to rape you, lived with a seriously mentally ill mother, been cut out of your sister’s life for reasons she can’t explain, or lived in Africa for three years and witnessed how bad life can really get.
I’ve experienced all those things, which is why I’m childless and still very, very happy. I’d love to get pregnant and raise my child, but it’s not in the cards for us. So, I focus on the benefits of my life — and I write articles like Childlessness and Happiness – Why I’m OK With Being Childless for couples like us, who are coping with infertility.
Things Worse Than Infertility
To help you get over the thought that infertility is the worst thing that could ever happen to you, I brainstormed a list of things worse than not getting pregnant:
- Losing a child to death (thanks for this, Jennifer @jlwf ton Twitter!)
- Having a chronically or terminally ill child
- Raising a child who abuses and even kills other people
- Being abused in any way, especially as a child
- A friend or family member’s suicide
- Watching animals get tortured
- Seeing your mom get beat up, and being helpless to stop
- Seeing the way animals are treated in third world countries
- Being homeless – sleeping outside and eating garbage
- Not being able to overcome a mental illness
- Having tumors that cause pain, reduced quality of life, and a shorter life
- Being responsible for someone’s death or serious injury
- Your husband having a vasectomy without telling you
- Never loving, never having been loved
You know what? I can’t go on. I don’t want to dwell on all the worst things in the world. I’m more convinced than ever that there are worse things than infertility — but I don’t need to think about them.
If you’re struggling, read How to Overcome Infertility Depression When You Can’t Get Pregnant.
What do you think – is infertility really the worst thing that has ever happened or could ever happen to you?