Why Can’t You Get Pregnant? Reasons for Not Conceiving a Baby
Are You Ready to Get Pregnant, But Can't?
These fertility checklists can help you figure out why you can’t get pregnant, and if you should see a fertility doctor or infertility specialist.
The reasons for not conceiving a baby range from azoospermia (no sperm) to irregular periods.
“Couples who have sought specialist help and have been diagnosed with ‘unexplained fertility’ may find that making certain lifestyle changes can assist in conception,” writes Michael Dooley in Fit for Fertility: Overcoming Infertility and Preparing for Pregnancy. “These fertility checklists might be useful.”
If you’re ready to ramp your fertility level up a notch — and deal with the “Why can’t I get pregnant?” question once and for all – read Fit for Fertility: Overcoming Infertility and Preparing for Pregnancy.
And, here are Dooley’s ”fit for fertility” checklists…
Why You Can’t Pregnant and Conceive a Baby
The Fit for Fertility Checklist is made up of four individual checklists, for the egg, the sperm, conception, and general male and female fertility problems.
Fertility Checklist #1: The Egg (Female Fertility)
Answer yes or no to the following questions:
- Are you having irregular, short (less than 21 days) or long (greater than 34 days) periods?
- Do you bleed between your periods?
- Are you overweight (with a body mass index greater than 25)?
- Are you underweight (with a body mass index under 18.5)?
- Do you exercise excessively?
- Have you had treatment for cancer?
- Are you being treated for depression?
- Do you have diabetes?
- Have you ever had thyroid problems?
- Have you stopped having periods?
If your periods aren’t regular, read I Want to Get Pregnant! Tips for Regulating Your Menstrual Cycle.
Another helpful article: When You Can’t Predict Your Periods and Want to Get Pregnant.
Fertility Checklist #2: The Sperm (Male Fertility)
Answer yes or no to the following questions:
Have you had an operation on your testicles?
Have you had a hernia repair?
Is there blood in your ejaculate?
Have you had mumps?
Have you had an injury to your testicles?
Do you have any family members with cystic fibrosis?
Have you had a vasectomy?
Are you overweight (with a body mass index greater than 25)?
Are you taking medication for a peptic ulcer?
Do you have diabetes?
If you think you can’t get pregnant because of sperm problems, read How to Increase Male Fertility and Improve Sperm Count.
Fertility Checklist #3: Getting Pregnant
Answer yes or no to the following questions:
- Do you have intercourse less than twice a week?
- Do you have a problem with intercourse?
- Do you have pain with intercourse?
- Does your partner have problems with erection?
- Does your partner have premature ejaculation?
- Have you had pelvic inflammatory disease?
- Have you had an operation on your abdomen (eg, a burst appendix)?
- Do you have discharge?
- Have you had an ectopic pregnancy?
Make sure you have intercourse at the right time (when you’re ovulating)! That’s one of the best ways to get pregnant. Read When Am I Ovulating?
Fertility Checklist #4: General Male and Female Fertility Problems
Answer yes or no to the following questions:
- Do you have a good, healthy diet?
- Do you smoke or drink excessive amounts of alcohol?
- Have you been exposed to environmental hazards?
- Have you tried to conceive before without success?
- Are you under significant stress?
- Do you spend a lot of time apart?
- Do you drink excessive amounts of caffeine?
- Do you take regular medications?
- Do you use recreational drugs?
- Do you have a history of a genetic problem?
If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, you need to talk to a doctor about why you can’t get pregnant. Make an appointment with your family physician doctor, and consider talking to a fertility specialist.
Natural cures for fibroids, ovarian cysts, or yeast infections:
If you’re stressed, you may find How to Relax When You’re Trying to Get Pregnant helpful.
If you have any questions or thoughts on why you can’t get pregnant, please comment below. Please note that I can’t offer medical advice! I can only offer support, general education, and tips.
Category: Female Infertility Tips, Getting Pregnant, Health & Wellness
hi
me and my husband have been trying to conceive for over a year now and have been unsuccessful.i’m 33yrs and have 2 kids 13 and 3. Recently my periods have been limited to 3 days from 5 days.
What could be the problem.
I am 22 and my husband is 23. We have a 2 yr old daughter, whom we conceived on the first try. We are trying to conceive again. We started in October. My periods have been regular since a few months after having my first daughter. On the 9th of EVERY month I start having brown discharge, on the 13th of each month I start bleeding an it lasts for 2 days. Suddenly when we start to try to have another baby, my bleeding started on the 5th of November and lasted 10 days. December 17th I started brown discharge and 20th I started bleeding which lasted a few days. I had what I assumed was implantation bleeding on January 7th. I was expecting my period, unless I was pregnant, would be January 17th-20th but I started the brown discharge the 26th and bleeding the 28th. It ended February 2nd and I started brown discharge again February 4th- today on and off.
-Why have my periods gotten so screwed up?
-Now that my period is on a 40 day cycle, is conceiving even possible?
-What could have changed since I had my last child? (I’ve been eating healthier than before, I have always been underweight because I have a fast metabolism, I don’t exercise because I have issues with low blood pressure)
-My husband had one thyroid removed right after I gave birth. He hasnt had any problems related to his lack of thyroid yet. My husband also lost a significant amount of weight using a medication. He weighs about 175, he lost 70 pounds. Could either of these have an effect on his sperm?
hello im 21 years old and had a crist removed last july. me and my fiance have been trying for a baby, for almost a year and im stressing that i cant have kids
could some please help me x
Loads of women have used pregnacare & conceived in a month! Some of these have been ttc for 8 years+ ! Good look everyone! Xx
can u buy fertilaid over the counter??
Hi Laurie.
Im 21 years old and my boyfriend is 23 years old. We have been going out for 3 years now. We have been trying for a baby for 3years and still no luck. We used that Pre-Seed Lube to help conceive and I also used Pregnacare Conception Tablets.He has been to an uroligist to do an ultrasound onn his scrotum and also to check his sperm count he will get the results March 2012. I had Chlamidia 9months before i got with him but the doctor gave me tablets to take to get rid of it and i had an sti screening 7months after i was treated and I was clear of all stis. Could it be me thats the problem and not him? Im so stressed out lately seeing all my friends have children and i cant:(
reply much appreciated. thank you.
update on IUI:
Failed on 1st try due to low sperm motility and the doc said it only has 3% chance of success so she suggested IVF… =( Time to save and work hard to get $13k+ SIGH!
My husband and I are trying to get pregnant. We however are really young but are both really wanting to start our families considering we really never had one. :/ We are not sure if he is infertile or if I am. We are too scared to go into a doctor cuz we dont want to be judged on being young or whatever. He wants to take fertility pills but I wont allow it cuz I have heard some scary things about that.
I missed a period for almost 3 months and then randomly it came jst this month but it started off like spotting…then brownish red….now its like bright pinkish red but its not enough to fill a pad or anything.
Please HELP us?!
Sincerely,
Priness3000
my boyfriend has an 11 year old and he been trying to have a baby ever since,now him and i been together and we have been trying for 1yr and nothing,is there something wrong with him?
We hv tried having a baby 4 6 years ,we hv seen doctors and results are that we are ok,am 25 and my husband is37 ..hw can u help?
Dear Readers
I have been trying to get pregnant for a little while,- still trying to conceive! Im getting frustrated I have not gotten pregnant, im under a little stress- and I’m a little underweight – but i still get my period on time REGUALRLY??? HELPP!!! EVERYTHING ELSE IS FINE WITH ME, ????
Dee, <3
I want to donate my eggs but I have ulcers all the time. Is it possible in my condition. Can also become pregnant I am 31 years old
hi lau,,when my husband took a vacation here in my country just to get married, we stayed together 1 month and 2 weeks, we want a baby, we’re tried to do but why we can’t?.my period is regular, is there a reasons why we cannot conceive a baby?.can u please show me your tips on how to conceive a baby coz by month of april i will go to other country which is to my husband and we really really want to have a family.
Thanks a lot!
-grace
Hi,
I’m 30years old and i got pregnant twice.in the first time it was unwanted so ihad passed abortion.two years later we had our lovlely first girl.she is 3 years old now.
We have been trying for eight months to get pregnancy again but we cant!!!
We are healthy and my husbend tests is very fine. My periods is regular and i could tracked the ovulation accurAtly also by feeling the ovulation’s pain and also by ovulation KIT.and despite that i cant get pregnant.
I m so frustrated.
How can we improve our chances?
hi just wanted to know we have been trying for a baby for the past 3 months or so I already have 3 children and I am 28 years…. before my last child my husband was not diabetic… but now he is and has been for nearly 3 years, can that affect me conceiving, thank you
Hello,
I have been married for a year and half and we still can’t pregnant my period is regular. We both have kids outside of our marriage so I know we can have kids but what is the problem now. Also I have HIV but I’m on medicine for it and my doctor told me I can still have kids with no problem. So why has it not happen yet. I’m also on prenatal vitamins and have been for a while now. This problem is really making me stress out. We both has been check out by a doctor. Please help.
Sincerely, Moet
Hi. Ive been married for a year and a half and havent been able to concieve. Ive been under lots of stress and deppressed because i moved from states and dont know anyone. My husband goes out of town to work. And i stay alone fir some time. I recently learbed i have a utures infection and was wondering how that can also affect me. Im taking meds to better that situation.
I have thyroid and been trying to have a baby for the past two years what should I do?
Hey!
I’m a 22 year old lady. I have a problem with my womb and it started in 2009. This pain it comes & it goes. So i want to know if i can get pregnant soon cause i’ve been trying so many times. Please help.:-(
we went to see her and she suggests IUI. it seems like my husband ‘s sperm has a mortality too.
Dear Amiee,
Have you talked to a fertility specialist or gynecologist yet? Sometimes they can give you insights into why you aren’t getting pregnant, so you can maximize your chances.
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear Anne,
I think it’s way too early to conclude that you can’t get pregnant! It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant – even if they’re young and having sex on the days they’re most fertile (ovulation).
So, keep tracking your fertile days, and keep your fingers crossed that your husband is around at that time.
Also, remember that you have many fertile years ahead of you. Try to enjoy this time of being a newlywed without pressuring yourselves to get pregnant. Babies and children put a lot of stress on even the happiest marriages, so it’s good to build a strong, healthy relationship with your husband before you bring babies into the world.
Blessings,
Laurie
I am 34 now. so u see my time is ticking. we have been trying to conceived for over a year now until I found out both of fallopian tubes are blocked. I had a surgery to unblocked it 3 months ago and I still couldn’t get pregnant. my period is irregular and unpredictable. shortest cycle I had is 26 days. longest cycle is 36 days. every month I used ovulation predict kit but my period always come longer than ovulation date. it’s just so frustrated with the right timing. sometimes I dunno my own body anymore.
Hi there Laurie, the same as with the others here’s my problem. Im 22-yr old, married. We have been married for 5 month already. But the thing is, he is in abroad. Then last month, he was with me for 1 whle month. I tracked my ovulation days, and that is an unprotected sex. But still, it’s negative. Is it an indication that Im infertile or too early to conclude? I was thinking, because not to mention and even if im ashamed to share this, i had trichomoniasis when i was 19. And im young but im frustrated on having a baby.
Dear M,
Have you taken a pregnancy test? That’s the best way to determine if you’re pregnant! Sometimes women have symptoms of pregnancy, but aren’t pregnant.
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear jonjon,
I’m so sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy, and that they had to take your fallopian tubes out. That’s very sad.
What did the doctor or gynecologist say about conceiving a baby? I think you can get pregnant and carry a baby if you have a uterus, but it depends on how your existing “female parts” are doing.
The best way to find if you can get pregnant is to get examined in person by a fertility doctor or gynecologist.
I wish you all the best.
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear Caty,
I don’t know how you can get pregnant with a baby girl or boy. I don’t think there are any surefire ways to have a boy or girl — not any scientifically proven ones, anyway. If you were having fertility treatments, they may be able to manipulate the sex of the baby, but that’s unethical.
Some experts say that male sperm swim faster than female sperm, but female sperm last longer in the uterus. So, the theory is that if you have sex before the egg comes, then the male sperm will die first and the female sperm will meet the egg first, and you’ll have a girl baby. However, this isn’t a surefire way to get pregnant with a baby girl. It’s just a theory, and isn’t easy to control!
Sperm can live in your uterus a few days after you have sex. I think how long sperm lasts depends in how healthy it is, and how “hospitable” your uterus is.
If I were you and I had a positive ovulation test, I would probably keep having sex for 3-4 days.
I don’t know anything about the Chinese gender chart or how to use it.
Good luck getting pregnant — I hope it happens quickly for you!
Blessings,
Laurie
My period was meant to arrive on the 7th of this month ( October) but on the 5th I had some brown discharges just for few hours then it stopped. The next day I started bleeding a little, and the next day which was the seven, of october there was nothing. There is still nothing at this point. Is there any possibly of me me being pregnant. I have been having regular sex and taking some filoc acid at the same time.
Before my discharge, my nipples were very sensitive and dark, but since the discharge and the one day bleeding, the sensitivity is gone.
I’m still getting a bit of abdominal cramps. What does this means?
I’m 23 years old n have been trying to get pregent for the last 4 months…….now I also had n etopic pregency just over a year ago they had to take my whole tube out becuase it burst is there anything I can do to make it a little easier for me to get pregent or am I pretty much infertility???
I had an ovulation home test yesterday and the day before as well, and the results for both are positive, which means that the egg will be released within 24-36 hours. based on it…i am confused about:
Note: we’re having sex on daily bases since September 25 until now (average of 24 hours between each intercourse).
- does having daily sex works on having a baby girl?
- when to have sex to have a boy?
- will the Male sperm meet the egg before the female sperm if we continue having sex?
- does the sperm during the last days diminished or its still there?
- if the test is positive for the past two days, when shall we stop having sex?
- is the Chinese gender chart correct? how to exactly use it?
many thanks
I had an ovulation home test yesterday and the day before as well, and the results for both are positive, which means that the egg will be released within 24-36 hours. based on it…i am confused about:
Note: we’re having sex on daily bases since September 25 until now (average of 24 hours between each intercourse).
- does having daily sex works on having a baby girl?
- when to have sex to have a boy?
- will the Male sperm meet the egg before the female sperm if we continue having sex?
- does the sperm during the last days diminished or its still there?
- if the test is positive for the past two days, when shall we stop having sex?
- is the Chinese gender chart correct? how to exactly use it?
many thanks
Hi Angeline,
To determine the exact time of ovulation, you either need an ovulation predictor kit or an ultrasound from a doctor. I can’t tell you when to have intercourse based on past dates — your future ovulation depends on what’s happening in your body and environment. To predict the best time to have sex, you need to try an ovulation predictor kit or get an ultrasound.
Yes, it is possible for ovulation to happen right around your period, or even during your period. However, I think this is rare. Again, the best way to determine ovulation is to get a predictor kit (or take your temperature, or look at your discharge).
Yes, ovulation can happen pretty much any time during the cycle. It’s not always exactly halfway between periods…it’s USUALLY about halfway between periods, but it really depends on the woman’s body and environment.
Some doctors say sex every day diminishes sperm quality and count, while other doctors say daily sex the week before you ovulate is the best thing when you can’t get pregnant. Here’s a recent article on that – and it includes a link to predicting ovulation!
How Often Should We Have Sex If We’re Trying to Get Pregnant?
No, saliva cannot harm sperm.
I hope this helps, and wish you all the best in your journey to your first baby!
Blessings,
Laurie
Hello,
I hope you can answer all of my questions, I am really confused and need the answers urgently please
(1) What is the expected and estimated ovulation day based on the below period dates?
10 July 2011
7 August 2011
26 August 2011
18 September 2011
(2) Is it possible that the ovulation happened right after the period or during the period
(3) Is it true that some women ovulate after the period or before the next period and not half the way? I heard too many stories from women got pregnant that way and not by counting ovulation days.
(4) Does sex everyday during the month (with skipping some days) can affect the sperm quantity and quality? and does it higher the possibility of getting pregnant?
(5) Can oral sex and Saliva affect the sperm count or movement? I heard that it kills the sperm? is it right?
sorry for asking too many questions, but I am confused and haven’t found any answer in the web, please i really need your help.
Thank you for your great job.
Dear Angeline,
I’m glad to hear that you and your husband have both seen a doctor! That’s the first and best thing to do when you can’t get pregnant.
The only thing I can tell you is that you have to be patient. It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant, so four months isn’t actually that long. I know it feels like FOREVER, but it’s not.
I bet you’ll get pregnant soon….just take a deep breath and try to enjoy the process of making a baby! This is a very special time in your marriage – you’ll never experience this again with your husband. Your marriage will totally change after you have a baby, so try to enjoy this time of planning, anticipation, and togetherness.
And if you haven’t tried an ovulation predictor kit, I suggest you do so. They’ll help you figure out the best time to have sex to conceive a baby.
Here’s an article about predicting ovulation;
Should You Use an Ovulation Predictor Kit If You’re Trying to Conceive?
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear Mooo,
Yes, you can get pregnant the first time you have sex, even if you have irregular periods.
Have you taken a pregnancy test?
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear Anne,
Are you asking me to foretell the future, to tell if you’ll get pregnant and conceive a healthy baby? Nobody can do that – not even the best fertility doctor in the world!
I think your chances for conceiving a healthy baby are good, since you’re young. But a man’s sperm does age as he gets older. Some men don’t have sperm at all, no matter how old they are. It just depends on their health.
It might be good for your husband to see a urologist before you start trying, or get his sperm checked. You might save yourselves a lot of wondering and disappointment if you get him checked before you start trying to conceive.
Ultimately, the best way to know if you’ll get pregnant is to try. Remember that it takes most couples a year on average to conceive – try to enjoy the process!
I hope you get pregnant the first month you try, and that you have four healthy babies.
Blessings,
Laurie
hi,
i want help with my condition
I am married to a wonderful 34 years old man, I am 23..we are happy together and we’ve decided to establish a family together with a baby
We are married since 4 months now and trying since the 1st day to conceive a baby.
but no pregnancy happened till now.
I have 26 days cycle for periods but normal hormonal changes (according to the doctor) happened to me during the last two months, please see below my periods dates for the last three months.
10 July 2011
7 August 2011
26 August 2011
18 September 2011
I have always had a regular cycle. why i had hormonal changes? is it normal as the doctor said
Everything is fine with my husband and the doctor said that there is nothing wrong with me too.
So why i didn’t get pregnant? what tips do you have. shall we do intercourse day after day to increase the possibility of getting pregnant? please i need your advice.
Hi, I just had sex for the first time last week, and i have irregular periods. Like i only have a few periods a year. Im just really freaked out that i could be pregnant. Im just wondering the possiblity of it actually being true.
Hi,
I am 22 and my husband is 55. I would like to ask if we can still conceive a healthy baby, and even more babies because we want four… We will be trying this December. Since June to September, I used ECP because it’s too early for me. We are planning to conceive on December.
Thank you so much!
Anne
Dear Angeline,
It takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant – so please don’t fret if you haven’t gotten pregnant in four months! It just takes time.
One of the best ways to get pregnant is to make sure you’re having sex when you’re ovulating. You want the egg and sperm to meet at the exact right time.
Here’s an article that may help:
Ovulation Predictor Kits – The Best Way to Tell If You’re Ovulating
If you haven’t tracked your ovulation, you should start doing so. It can make all the difference in the world!
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear Tabz,
I’m so sorry to hear that you can’t get pregnant after 3 years…that’s so disheartening and painful
Unfortunately, for about 33% of couples who can’t conceive, there are no explanations. That is, it’s “unexplained infertility” that causes a third of couples not to get pregnant. Doctors don’t know why they can’t conceive; there are no male OR female fertility problems.
If you and your husband are healthy and there are no fertility issues, then perhaps you’re one of the unlucky couples who can’t get pregnant for no reason at all. I’m not saying you ARE one of those couples – so please don’t give up hope!
I suggest getting a second opinion from a different doctor. You might also try a naturopathic physician, who may have a different set of tests and supplements to help you conceive.
Go see another doctor – a gynecologist for you and a urologist for your husband. If he or she says everything is normal, then go to a naturopath.
I hope this helps…and I really really hope you get pregnant!
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear lovelie,
Yes, you should go see a doctor! It’s not just that you can’t get pregnant – it’s that chlamydia can have other health consequences that affect your health and your baby’s health.
Before trying to get pregnant, please talk to your doctor about making sure your STD isn’t active. And, ask him or her about the best ways to get pregnant – and if you have fertility problems that need to be addressed.
I wish you all the best!
Blessings,
Laurie