I am wondering where the dignity and respect is for people who can’t have their own child and want their own child. You should be well aware that people who can’t have their own children are smart enough to have thought about children that are already here and in need of love. Just because they want their own child does not in any way shape or form make them bad people. As a Catholic, I am sure you think that your opinion is the right opinion but it is not.
If you are so against IVF then why would you go to a site dedicated to IVF???????? Just looking to make people feel bad……oh wait that is what Catholicism is all about….GUILT and YOUR OPINION! Keep it to yourself, please!

That’s a drag, that your husband changed his mind about in vitro fertilization! What a disappointment, especially since you had already started the process. I’m sorry to hear that he had second thoughts.

I don’t think there is much you can say to convince him to have kids. He needs to find it in his heart to agree to being a father for you, because he has no motivation to have kids for himself.

Try not to get angry or frustrated at him, because that’ll make him resist the idea more. I don’t know how to convince him to proceed with the fertility treatments, but I do believe you and he can have a happy marriage no matter what you decide.

You could try a session of couples counseling, to get an objective perspective on your dilemma. My husband and I have gone to a counselor to get clarity on an issue in our marriage, and it helped immensely. We only went once, told both our “sides” of the story, and the counselor helped us meet in the middle. The counselor also helped us see each other’s perspective more objectively.

You could also write out the reasons you want to have children, and how you feel about never having kids. Do this for yourself first, not to show your husband. Get clear about your own thoughts and feelings about getting pregnant, and how you will feel either way.

Then, write him a letter that describes how you feel about having kids and what it means to you. Don’t accuse him or get mad at him – the letter is about YOU.

I don’t know if this will make him reconsider his decision not to proceed with IVF, but it may help you and him reconnect. You want to find a way to love and support each other again, even if you have to live with a painful decision.

You might also decide what’s more important: having kids or staying married. Some women leave their husbands because they want children, and their husbands don’t. I’m not saying you should leave him…I’m just throwing a few ideas around.

I hope this helps, and wish you all the best.

Blessings,
Laurie

I’m so sorry to hear that your in vitro fertilization treatment didn’t work. It is so emotionally and physically devastating, not to mention expensive. And, when you’re disappointed by the fertility doctor, it’s even WORSE.

My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings,
Laurie

Thank you for sharing how you tried in vitro fertilization to get pregnant! I didn’t realize the long-term health effects of this type of fertility treatment. And, I don’t often hear of women who were unsuccessful at IVF. It seems like the clinics want to publicize the success rates, and not mention the “failures.”

Women need to know about the consequences of IVF – aside from the disappointment of not conceiving. Of course, if you get pregnant, then it’s probably worth it!

Blessings,
Laurie