Comments on: Signs of Depression When You Can’t Get Pregnant – and Help

By: Aimee

Aimee — Thu, 10 May 2012 01:12:35 +0000

My husband and I have struggled to have a baby for 15 years. Mothers Day is coming up and I dread that day. All my friends and family will be celebrating with their kids. Found out a friend of mine is prego and my heart just sank ! I see so many people having kids for all the wrong reasons. Why does it have to be me ! Nobody knows what I am going threw !

By: Beatrice

Beatrice — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 07:07:05 +0000

I’m extremely depressed for having tried for a baby for 7 years with no results. I know my husband cant give me a child & I’m afraid of disappointing him, yet his mother keeps abusing me for not having beared his son a child. My husband tells me if I leave him for another man, he will commit suicide, kindly help me I’m Kenyan Lady aged 33

By: Coco

Coco — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 17:50:56 +0000

We have been trying to get pregnant for years and no signs of baby on the way. I feel depressed most of the times. Among all of my friends, i am the only one without kids. I really don’t know what I should do anymore. I feel sad, frustrated when hearing other people conceiving

By: Yuri

Yuri — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 23:09:04 +0000

I had a miscarriage 5 months ago. It was hard and heart breaking. But I thought I was ok, and now I think I’m losing my mind. I count the days, I see symptoms, I lie to myself. Im unhappy.
My BFF is pregnant, and I’m beyond happy for her, but can’t help to think that I’m less lucky, or that I don’t deserve as much as her. I’m miserable.

By: Marina

Marina — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:17:25 +0000

Im 30 years old yet to have a child. Out of all my friends and family Im the only one without a child. Weve been trying for some time now and nothing. This past couple of years I shared this pain with couple friends who had the same issue. Now they are pregnent and having babies of their own. I do my best to smile and be happy for them. The biggest disappointment came with the news of my husbands youngest brother expecting. They were never trying nor wanted a child. I grew so jealous and despressed watching her belly grow. Then having my husband rub her belly and feel a kick. Just broke my heart. Having to shop for baby clothing and taking about baby showers. I couldnt understand why not me ? I went to baby shower in support for my partner only. It was the worst holding tears trying to be happy. The birth of the baby was just as bad. Seeing my husband hold the baby so happy. I smiled and took pictures just thinking I need to pull it together. I didnt want to hold the baby nor wanted too. As soon as we walked out the hospital doors I begin to cry like Im crying from my soul. All my husband could do is hold me to try to confort me. I feel so bad for him because I know he feels so helpless. Hes caught between my pain and the joy he should for his brother. Now theres word of him being the godfather to their baby. I was at a loss for words. I dont know how to get over how I feel.

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 22:36:59 +0000

Dear Nicole,

Thanks for sharing your feelings about not getting pregnant. I totally know how you feel – it’s so disheartening, frustrating, and sad to want a baby but not be able to conceive. And it’s even more painful when your best friend is pregnant – it must be a bittersweet feeling that you have for her.

I don’t know how long you’ve been trying, but remember that it takes most couples a year on average to get pregnant! So, you’re normal if it’s been about a year…and your best friend is extremely lucky to get pregnant after only a month. No wonder you’re depressed – I would be too!

Blessings,
Laurie

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:24:48 +0000

I am so depressed over not getting pregnant, I’m besides myself. Whenever I see a pregnant woman or a baby I can’t even bear to look at them I’m so jealous. Worst of all my best friend is pregnant after trying for 1 month !! She thought she was pregnant and called me asking to come over to her house as she’s nervous to take the test alone. I went to her home she went to the bathroom and in less than a minute she was shrieking with happiness that there’s two lines on the test, she’s pregnant. I’m happy for her but I felt like my heart was being ripped out. I fought back the tears and jumped around the room with her celebrating. My best friend being pregnant really hit close to home I’m filled with jealousy and sadness, thinking of myself as damage goods, I was even jealous of her morning sickness, its pathetic I know. I’ve been trying to get pregnant way before she even knew she wanted to have a child and everything goes perfect for her and not me. She’s even having her baby in October around her birthday and her other half’s birthday she has all the luck. Don’t get me wrong I love my friend very much but I’m jealous of her she doesn’t even know it, I could never tell her how I feel as I fear I would damage the friendship I hold so dearly. She’s having her baby shower next month and I’m gonna have to shop for the baby that’s going to be so hard on the day of actual shower will even be harder but I will grin and bear it. We’ve always done everything together I feel so left out, I hate myself for feeling this way. My other half knows how I feel and he’s advised me to distance myself from my pregnant friend just a little to spare myself the pain, I know he’s hurting too but he remains strong emotionally just for me. I pray daily and ask God to bless us with a child, I’ve always done everything right throughout my life I eat right, I’m at a perfect weight for my height, I’m in my 20s, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I take vitamins, have a beautiful home and other half is an extremely successful business man. I don’t know what else to do, I’m desperate for a baby my other half jokingly says “maybe we’ll get a positive pregnancy test for christmas” I hope so too.

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 23:15:21 +0000

Dear SR,

I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. Secondary infertility is just as disheartening and depressing as primary infertility, and yet it’s often not taken as seriously. After all, you already have one child, right? You should be satisfied and happy, right? Wrong.

I wrote this article for you:

What to Do When You Can’t Get Pregnant With Your Second Child

I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts here or there.

Blessings,
Laurie

By: SR

SR — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 06:24:38 +0000

I was SO happy a couple years a the birth of my son. Then I wanted another and it hasn’t happened…he is now 4 going on 5. I gained a bunch of weight, started drinking, and had CPS called me. I’m so low and don’t know what to do now. We don’t have the money for therapy and am so lost. God, I hate everything and the only thing keeping my nose above water is my son. I had felt bad and just attributed it working long hours and/or school. Now that I’ve been out of work and not longer have a job and now I know it is much, much more than that. I am empty and don’t have a clue how to get my motivation back ad return to being a real person. I’ve tried the “pull yourself up from your boot straps and it worked for maybe 2 days. What do I do now? I used to be a strong woman and lost her some where along the way.

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 17:23:25 +0000

Kelly, thanks for your advice on coping with depression when you can’t get pregnant. You’re right: depression needs to be taken very seriously! And, the very act of taking any type of action can help with depressed feelings.