Ways to be Happy With a Childfree Life After Infertility

Are you coping with the disappointment of not being pregnant? Here are seven ways to be happy with a childfree life after infertility…

“We were diagnosed with ‘unexplained infertility’, which sounds good in one respect,” says Cindy Margolis, actress, model, and spokesperson for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. ”On the other hand, you almost want something wrong, so there’s a problem, so you can fix it.” 

Margolis co-authored Having a Baby…When the Old-Fashioned Way Isn’t Working: Hope and Help for Everyone Facing Infertility. Click on the book cover for more info, and read on for seven ways to be happy with a childfree life after infertility….

7 Ways to be Happy With a Childfree Life After Infertility

1. Focus on the benefits.  “Most studies have shown that psychological well-being tends to decline when people have kids,” says sociologist Amy Pienta, from the University of Michigan. “In mid-life, being married or having a partner has a greater impact on a woman’s well-being than whether or not she has children.” Enjoying life after infertility involves focusing on the emotional and financial freedom that a child-free existence can offer!

2. Research infertility treatments and support groups.  If you’ve recently discovered that you or your partner have fertility issues, you may want to investigate infertility treatments. Many treatment centers have support groups – and connecting with other couples coping with infertility is a great way to both research possible treatments and build a happy childfree life.

3. Support other couples coping with infertility. Cindy Margolis is an actress and model who faced “unexplained infertility issues” – and is now the spokesperson for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. You don’t have to be famous to get involved with an infertility treatment center or support group! Life after infertility – or any disappointment, serious illness, or major life change – can involve reaching out to others with the same struggles.

4. Be prepared for the effect of infertility on your marriage. I don’t know the statistics of divorce after infertility, but not being able to have children can negatively impact marriages and committed relationships. Some couples get a divorce after infertility or even during infertility treatments – it’s a stressful, difficult time. To be happy with a childfree life, be aware that your marriage may look very different in a year or more…for better or worse. For marriage help, read Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Strong in Infertility.

5. Think outside the box! Our infertility issues can’t be fixed with surgery; we’re considering a second round of sperm donor “treatments” (intrauterine insemination), but it sure gets expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining! If my husband and I don’t have children, I hope to take extended vacations every year, focus on building a strong writing career, and accept a childfree life.

6. Get involved with other people’s kids. To be happy after infertility, consider being a Big Sister or Big Brother, volunteering at a hospital for sick kids, or getting seriously involved in your nephews’ or nieces’ lives. There are kids all over our communities who are lonely and desperate for adult attention…and if your childfree existence may benefit other people’s kids in deep, meaningful ways.

7. Consider options for infertile couples. Talk to couples who have adopted, fostered, or had children in unconventional ways. Enjoying – not just tolerating – life after infertility involves opening your mind to possibilities other than traditional childbirth (or traditional infertility treatments). To find these possibilities after infertility, ask your friends and family for examples of people who have built their families in untraditional ways. You’ll be surprised at what bubbles to the surface.

What do you think of these ways to be happy with a childfree life after infertility? I welcome your comments below…