Here are five tips for overcoming the stigma of infertility, because telling people that you’re coping with male or female infertility can be one of the hardest “confessions” to make. Though it feels like one, it’s not a confession!
“I’ve found that most people don’t truly understand infertility or how it impacts one’s spirit,” writes Kelly Damron in Tiny Toes: A Couple’s Journey Through Infertility, Prematurity, and Depression. “During my journey through infertility, I would alternate between bouts of depression and thinking I was cured.”
The reason people don’t understand infertility is because we don’t talk about it. We’re embarrassed, ashamed, angry, or depressed, which makes us clam up. To overcome the stigma of infertility, we really do need to start opening up – because sharing our infertility roller coaster can improve our emotional, mental, and physical health.
Click Kelly’s book cover for more info about her journey through infertility, premature babies, and depression…and read on for tips on overcoming the stigma of male or female infertility…
5 Tips for Overcoming the Stigma of Infertility
1. Practice talking about it. The more you talk about infertility, the easier – and more normal – it gets. If talking about it is really difficult, try writing about in your journal, songs, poetry – or even a book, like Kelly did. To help you talk about it with your spouse, read Talking About Infertility With Your Partner.
2. Start small. Whether you’re coping with male infertility (azoospermia, previous STDs, etc) or female infertility (endometriosis, STDs, lack of ovulation, etc) – tell your closest friends and family members first. Get support from people you can trust, who won’t make you feel bad and who understand what you’re going through.
3. Test the waters. To overcome the stigma of infertility, test the waters by telling people who you’re not so close to, who wouldn’t have a hard time accepting it. That may help prepare you if you do decide to tell people whom you aren’t close to and who you know are judgmental or critical. The idea is to start slow and easy, and move your way up to “difficult” family members and friends.
4. Find people who understand. Join in-person infertility support groups, or find an infertility forum that you feel comfortable being yourself on. The more you connect with people who are also facing the infertility roller coaster, the less isolated and weird you’ll feel. To overcome the stigma of infertility, find people who’ve “been there, done that.”
5. Remember that the first is worst. The hardest part of telling people that you’re coping with infertility is at the beginning. But, the more you share your difficulties with getting pregnant, the more normal it gets – not just for you, but for others as well.
Infertility isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s a medical condition – just like diabetes or heart disease. It changes how you see yourself, and it changes your life…but it’s not something to be ashamed of. There shouldn’t be a stigma attached to infertility, and the more we talk about it, the less embarrassing it will be!
By the way — if you don’t know what to say to someone struggling with losing a baby, read What to Say When Someone Has a Miscarriage.
What are your thoughts on these tips for overcoming the stigma of infertility? I welcome your comments below…
Are you trying to conceive a baby?
The more you know about getting pregnant quickly, easily, and naturally, the better!
Thank you for posting a blog about my book. I appreciate your continued support and comments on my blog! Happy holidays.
One of the best place to start talking about it if you are feeling uncomfortable is on blogs online. You have the ability of talking without the discomfort of talking to people you know and looking someone in the face. There are so many support groups online to help get you through the tough times of trying to get pregnant. You can find just by simply doing a google search. Good Luck, but know that you are not the only one.
Thanks for your tip — Melodie! Especially the part about not being the only one. It does help me to know that I’m not struggling with infertility alone.