Staying Positive When Trying to Conceive

These tips for staying positive when you’re trying to conceive a baby may help you deal with the disappointment of failing to get pregnant after trying for months – or even years! These tips for staying positive are from two real women – one who became pregnant against all odds, and one who is still trying to conceive.

First a quip from Helen Keller:

“Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world.” – Helen Keller.

It’s healthy to express your negative feelings if you’re disappointed that you’re not pregnant yet – but don’t succumb to feeling sorry for yourself, bitterness, or anger. Misery will just make life worse for you and your loved ones. One of my absolute favorite books of all time is Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal by Rachel Naomi Remen – if you feel sorry for yourself because you’re coping with infertility, read this book. It’ll help.

4 Tips for Staying Positive When Trying to Conceive

1. Believe in miracles. “I didn’t get pregnant in an “unusual” way but my pregnancy was nothing short of miraculous!” says Patience. “Both my husband and I were diagnosed infertile. I don’t have fallopian tubes – they were removed last year – and I have diminished ovarian reserve. My husband has terrible sperm quality (low count and low motility.) We actually had one fertility clinic “fire us” after a terrible round of IVF!

After four very high dose IVFs (with a drastic diet change and TCM), I got pregnant at 42 years old. Our miracle daughter is now 4 months old! We were infertility poster children but we succeeded – even when we were told it was next to impossible.”

2. Feel bad – for a little while. “After I’m done wallowing in my pity party (when I find out I’m not pregnant) for about two days, I STOP,” says Kate. “It’s actually a meditation. I focus on everything good in my life – what I do have, not what I don’t have.” This is a healthy tip for staying positive when you’re trying to conceive. You don’t want to wallow in self-pity, but you do need to express your feelings.

3. Appreciate what you do have. Kate goes on to say, “Then I focus on all the ways our lives are interesting and different in comparison to how we’d live if we had children. My final thought always ends with our dogs. Dogs are one of the biggest gifts we’ll ever have – whether we get lucky and finally conceive or not. And no, we’re not the kind of couple who dresses them up in fruffy baby-replacement outfits and carts them around in a baby-dog carriage (though we have been known to give over to baby talk once in a while). They simply are one of the greatest ways to enhance this human life.”

4. Indulge in a few of your favorite things. Kate loves coffee, sushi, soft cheese, and margaritas – and she says, “No, not all at once!  I’m not about to add insult to injury by making myself sick!”  My favorite tip for staying positive when trying to conceive is to plan exciting vacations that I couldn’t take if I had kids. Turkey, Israel, and even Costa Rica are places I’ve explored as I wait and hope to get pregnant…