Comments on: Living Without Children in a World of Families http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/living-without-children-in-a-world-of-families/ Infertility doesn't have to sink our spirits or dash our dreams! Sat, 20 Mar 2010 05:13:19 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Jen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/living-without-children-in-a-world-of-families/comment-page-1/#comment-942 Jen Sun, 25 Oct 2009 17:30:12 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=957#comment-942 I still feel that the point is missed. Perhaps it is just me. I don't expect the entire world to shield me. A friend is happily pregnant and I am overjoyed for her. My life is what it is. However, it does seem that there should be a place for me as well. A place where I can discuss my issues or read about others in similar circumstances without being bombarded by how utterly and undeniably wrong I am for making the choice to get off the merry-go-round. Modern medicine benefits greatly from infertility. They only make money if I buy into the concept that I will forever be an outcast unless I get with the program, spend tens of thousands of dollars and continue to struggle against impossible odds. There are plenty of sights for women who have made the choice to continue trying and I applaud their courage and tenacity. There are O sites for those like me who seek who seek a safe haven. I suppose that only goes to illustrate my point. I still feel that the point is missed. Perhaps it is just me. I don’t expect the entire world to shield me. A friend is happily pregnant and I am overjoyed for her. My life is what it is.

However, it does seem that there should be a place for me as well. A place where I can discuss my issues or read about others in similar circumstances without being bombarded by how utterly and undeniably wrong I am for making the choice to get off the merry-go-round. Modern medicine benefits greatly from infertility. They only make money if I buy into the concept that I will forever be an outcast unless I get with the program, spend tens of thousands of dollars and continue to struggle against impossible odds.

There are plenty of sights for women who have made the choice to continue trying and I applaud their courage and tenacity. There are O sites for those like me who seek who seek a safe haven. I suppose that only goes to illustrate my point.

]]> By: dawn http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/living-without-children-in-a-world-of-families/comment-page-1/#comment-939 dawn Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:23:04 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=957#comment-939 thanks so much... wishtobeamommy.com thanks so much…

wishtobeamommy.com

]]> By: Pamela Tsigdinos http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/living-without-children-in-a-world-of-families/comment-page-1/#comment-918 Pamela Tsigdinos Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:48:52 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=957#comment-918 It's taken me several years of significant effort *not* to get worked up about pregnancy and fertility related ads. In many ways being a blogger writing on the challenges of coming to terms with infertility (hence, the blog name, Coming2Terms) and seeing about 50% of my readership end up pregnant acted as an inoculation of sorts. Now I measure my mellowness response to pregnancy related announcements, ads, etc., to see how far I've come. You'll get there, too. I used to hate the old adage, time heals all wounds, when I was in the early stages but now with the passage of time I see it's true. It’s taken me several years of significant effort *not* to get worked up about pregnancy and fertility related ads. In many ways being a blogger writing on the challenges of coming to terms with infertility (hence, the blog name, Coming2Terms) and seeing about 50% of my readership end up pregnant acted as an inoculation of sorts. Now I measure my mellowness response to pregnancy related announcements, ads, etc., to see how far I’ve come. You’ll get there, too. I used to hate the old adage, time heals all wounds, when I was in the early stages but now with the passage of time I see it’s true.

]]> By: Ellie R. http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/living-without-children-in-a-world-of-families/comment-page-1/#comment-903 Ellie R. Sun, 04 Oct 2009 18:15:33 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=957#comment-903 Jen and Laurie, I can't have children and i don't feel inadequate because it's like getting any disease: cancer, MLS, heart disease. Infertility is something I cope with just like I'd deal with getting diagnosed with a heart or brain condition. Infertility doesn't make me less of a woman. It's just something I have, and I've learned to accept my life the way it is. But sometimes I like to read articles about living a childfree life and other women coping with not having children because it does help to know I'm not alone :-) Ellie Jen and Laurie,

I can’t have children and i don’t feel inadequate because it’s like getting any disease: cancer, MLS, heart disease. Infertility is something I cope with just like I’d deal with getting diagnosed with a heart or brain condition.

Infertility doesn’t make me less of a woman. It’s just something I have, and I’ve learned to accept my life the way it is.

But sometimes I like to read articles about living a childfree life and other women coping with not having children because it does help to know I’m not alone :-)

Ellie

]]> By: Jen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/living-without-children-in-a-world-of-families/comment-page-1/#comment-902 Jen Sun, 04 Oct 2009 15:05:48 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=957#comment-902 I appreciate your well-considered response. I will look at the book you mentioned. The problem I often face is the idea that without children I am not a real person. This is not my feeling, but that of those I encounter. A scene from a movie I watched last night is a perfect illustration. Bridesmaids at a wedding were noticing an attractive man. One said, "Forget, he's married." Another asked, "Do they have children?" The response was no. She then replied, "Then it doesn't count. If they don't have children, it is not a real marriage." And no I don’t agree with this, however there it is. How does one move on in spite of constant in your face reminders, chastisements, diminishments etc. I would agree that going in separate directions with two blogs might be helpful. It would be nice to have a place where I am not blindsided and bombarded with how inadequate I am as a human being, because I do not have a child. One for those who are still considering and one for those like me (my spouse is infertile, no appeal) who will never have children despite deep felt desire and long time struggles in the face of adversity. I appreciate your well-considered response. I will look at the book you mentioned. The problem I often face is the idea that without children I am not a real person. This is not my feeling, but that of those I encounter. A scene from a movie I watched last night is a perfect illustration. Bridesmaids at a wedding were noticing an attractive man. One said, “Forget, he’s married.” Another asked, “Do they have children?” The response was no. She then replied, “Then it doesn’t count. If they don’t have children, it is not a real marriage.” And no I don’t agree with this, however there it is.

How does one move on in spite of constant in your face reminders, chastisements, diminishments etc. I would agree that going in separate directions with two blogs might be helpful. It would be nice to have a place where I am not blindsided and bombarded with how inadequate I am as a human being, because I do not have a child. One for those who are still considering and one for those like me (my spouse is infertile, no appeal) who will never have children despite deep felt desire and long time struggles in the face of adversity.

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