If you think you’ll never get pregnant because you’re in your forties or fifties, don’t lose hope! Mary Beth is 52 years old, and happily pregnant through in vitro fertilization (IVF).
She says, “I woke up one day at age 45 and wondered ‘Where did these last 20 years go?? They just flew by!’”
If you’re in the same boat – reaching your 40s or 50s and wondering if you’ll ever get pregnant – read Mary Beth’s story below. She had in vitro fertilization at age 51 and is seven months pregnant! For more info on healthy pregnancies, click on Your Pregnancy Week by Week by Glade Curtis and Judith Schuler.
Getting Pregnant in Your 40s or 50s
This is a Q & A with Mary Beth, a happily pregnant 52 year old woman.
Had you already grieved the idea of never having kids? No, not really. I made conscious choices along the way to put my career first, knowing that child bearing would wait a while. Somehow I always felt that I would still have kids (either marrying a guy who already had a family…or would still somehow have my own).
What made you decide to try in vitro fertilization (IVF) at age 51? After changing my life around so that I wasn’t so focused on my career, I met a wonderful man when I was 46 and at age 47 it was very serious. That’s when we started speaking with IVF doctors to see what our baby choices were. They told me choices were 1) still use my eggs (small chance of getting and carrying a pregnancy) or 2) consider donor eggs.
Did you consider adopting or fostering children? Yes. My husband and I discussed this in great depth. We decided to try the IVF route for 3 cycles. If that didn’t work, we were then going to enthusiastically pursue adoption.
When people discover that you’re 52 and pregnant, what reaction do you get? Most say “Wow, that’s incredible. That’s awesome and you are brave!!” A very few say “You are out of your mind.”
How long have you been married, and how old is your hubby? We’ve been married 2½ years. I just turned 52 and my husband will soon be 52.
What advice would you give women coping with infertility? Stay positive, give it time, keep an open mind and consider all options for infertile couples. Again – stay positive and optimistic! Consider what’s best for you and don’t listen to what your family and good friends are saying. Initially, my own mother was really against IVF and wouldn’t even discuss it with me. I figured in due time she would come around when she was ready. My husband and I knew what was best for the two of us…and we didn’t seriously listen to anyone else’s comments. Most everyone was excited for us to be trying IVF, but a few weren’t.
What would surprise people to learn about infertility, or getting married and pregnant in your 50s? That it still can happen!!! Keep yourself in the best possible health…and stay positive!! So far (7 months along) I have felt GREAT. I never had morning sickness and still haven’t had a day yet of feeling pregnant. That’s more than my younger sisters could say about their pregnancies 20 years ago when they were in their 20s!
If you have any questions or thoughts about getting pregnant in your 40s or 50s, please comment below…
~ Resources for Getting Pregnant & Fertility ~
If you're trying to conceive a baby, learn about getting pregnant easily and naturally.
Are you or your partner coping with low fertility levels? Try FertilAid for Women or FertilAid for Men.
And don't forget about vitamins and minerals, which are essential to a healthy pregnancy! Make sure you're taking the right Pregnancy Plus Prenatal Vitamins.
Hi
I think you are amazing and wish you every happiness and success
I too am 51y and understand everything you have said
I have had 3 miscarriages in last 4 years so have just decided to try IVF So far we do not plan to tell family or friends as l believe it is our decision alone and too many people want to be negative about pregnancy in latter life so l think as it is best to have a positive attitude this is definately something we plan to keep private
I wish you all the best with your IVF, Kelsee! I hope you get pregnant, and stay pregnant until that baby is ready to be born.
I considered IVF, but am not ready yet…want to try another six months of IUI first.
Laurie
Thank you so much for your comments and positive feedbak. You are very wise to think out all the pluses and minuses of how you will handle this situation. Very sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Hopefully your IVF procedure will be smooth sailing!!!! We are now 8 weeks away from having our little girl join us…and it is such a miracle and a blessing. I really wish the same for you. Please keep in touch, OK?
All the best and wonderful positive thoughts for you!!! – Mary Beth
Oh – one more thing. My mom (who initially wouldn’t even discuss our decision to use IVF) is now flying out next week to attend my baby shower. She is now very excited to welcome a new little grand daughter! I knew she would come around, but only when she was ready and on her terms.
Mary Beth
Thanks, Mary Beth! You’re inspiring! After 2 years of TTC, a miscarriage last year, 3 months of meds, and just turning 40, I’m getting discouraged. This is just what I needed to read today! No need to panic–I’m still young!
Best to you, Mary Beth, Kaylee, and LauriePK!
Yes you are still so young, Leslie Ann…and have so many wonderful options available to help you get pregnant. It will happen!! Just try to enjoy the ride, stay positive and not worry about it.
All the best to you,
Mary Beth
Mary Beth, I’m 44 and have been TTC fr 2 plus years. We would like to try IVF but do not have the money. Do you have suggestions on ways to “raise” funds for IVF or even adoption, which is also very expensive.
Hi Michelle,
As a foster parent I can tell you there is a “chance” to adopt through foster care and this plan is relatively free. Another option – private adoption costs money and the birth mother has to choose you. International adoption is a good option especially if you want to get a certain type of match to your family. If you want Af. Am. go to Haiti for example and if you want blue eyed kids shorter statured maybe you should try Ukraine.
Okay…to raise money I would establish your own website and put it at the bottom of every thing you send out. Direct people to it. On your website let people know the reasons for adoption. Another adoption option for you could be embryo adoption which is relatively inexpensive. Just search for this online and….Good Luck. I just turned 43 and my husband and I have been going through 16 years of infertility. He had an undescended testicle as a child and a varicocele. I was perfectly fine. Now I am getting older and it looks like my eggs are fine for 2-3 months and then I have a wonky cycle. This month is looking good and my husband just got another SFA done yesterday so we hope that turns out well. We are also doing clomid this month starting tomorrow. We are doing what we can until our insurance runs out which is about $10K more. We are only doing minimally invasive procedures. I think we are going to try an IUI this month.
Best of luck to you.
Becky, thank you so much for all of the great information. Best of luck to you. Lots of baby dust : )
Michele, that is such a good question about raising money for IVF or adoption…I don’t know what to say!
One of my friends who was trying to conceive for 5 years — and has no money — was gearing up to ask her dad to “donate” $10,000 to her cause. Then, she got pregnant with IUI, which was inexpensive enough that she didn’t need to ask him for the money.
Asking people on a website is an interesting idea — especially if you’re open and honest about how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, and how much this means to you.
I’m sorry, but I can’t think of anything else to suggest! I’ll give it more thought…I wonder if there are any experimental IVF procedures that you could participate in? I’m not even sure how you’d find them. But, most universities and hospitals that need to do trials also need voluteers…I’d be happy to be part of an IVF trial!
Money is such a beast. And, infertility treatments are so bloody expensive.
I’d consider asking family members and close friends for a loan, to be paid off within 2-5 years — however long you need.
If I can think of anything more creative, I’ll be back!
I wish you all the best, and my heart goes out to you.
Laurie
Laurie, thanks so much. I agree that money is such a beast. I feel like we are stuck between a rock and a very hard place because we do not have the money to do either IVF or a regular adoption. It’s very frustrating.