If you have a general nonmedical question about coping with infertility, please ask me here!
I’ll answer most anything you want to know about coping with fertility issues, infertility treatments, fertility testing, adoption, fostering, or accepting a childfree life below — but don’t ask me if you’ll ever get pregnant, because I just don’t know.
Whether you’re 40-something and worried you’ll never conceive, or 20-something and dealing with endometriosis or other health issues that could impact your ability to get pregnant in the future — here’s your chance! I don’t know everything, but I’m excellent at researching and finding solid answers….
Please don’t ask anything about your individual medical condition, because I can’t help that way. You need to get information from your doctor.
Ask your question, and I’ll answer within two days…
I started devolping physicaly and mentaly when i was around the age 8-9. But now my periods for the past 4-5 years have been so messed up i got put on birth control and it still is not helping i still have around 2-3 periods a month i am afraid that this will affect me having kids later on in the future should i just talk to the doctor or can u give me pointers on what i can do..I have one more thing to ask if i start having sex now which i am 15 can that affect me having kids???
Hi Hayle,
Good questions – thanks for asking them!
How long have you been on the birth control pill for? If it hasn’t regulated your periods after 3-5 months, then you need to talk to your doctor about trying a different dosage or a different type of birth control pill altogether.
Having heavy periods, or that many periods a month, may not affect you getting pregnant later on. It just depends on why you have 2-3 periods a month! Some medical conditions (such as endometriosis, fibroids, or polysystic ovary syndrome) can affect your period…and can lead to problems with fertility when you’re trying to have a baby later in life.
Don’t panic, though. Go see your doctor, and ask about changing the dosage or pill you’re on. Be honest about your periods – and be firm about trying something different! If your doctor doesn’t listen and work with you, find another one.
Regarding sex: having it now won’t affect you having kids later, unless you get an STD (some sexually transmitted diseases affect fertility levels, and can cause infertility).
Are you ready for a sexual relationship with your boyfriend? Don’t rush, and don’t do anything you’re not 100% ready for.
I hope this helps a little – and I’m sorry I don’t have all the answers! Only time will tell (regarding trying to get pregnant when you’re ready for a family).
Let me know how things go!
Laurie
I’ve stopped using birth control almost 2yrs ago, and my husband been trying to get pregnant, and no success, my period we about 2 1/2 months apart when i went off birth control, then they stopped for about 4 months, i took so medication for it and havent had any issues with my period until this march, now going into june still no period, took over a dozen test all negative, everytime going to the doctors they just brush me off and tell me just wait it will happen im still young. i’ve changed my diet, my job one with less stress, moved to a different town away from people that were stressing me out and i dont talk to them, im really running out of ideas please help i dont know what to do next doctors arent being helpful,tried ovalation kits werent very helpful
what should i do please HELP
No — don’t wait longer!! I understand why your doctors say you should wait (it can take time to get pregnant), but I’ve heard so many women say they waited…and didn’t discover an issue such as fibroids or endometriosis until they were much older. When you start coping with infertility issues in your mid-to-late 30s, you’re fighting a harder battle. Don’t get me wrong – it’s still totally possible to get pregnant in your 40s even, after dealing with “female” problems…it’s just more complicated because our eggs and everything is older.
Ally, I suggest you get a second opinion. Keep going to new doctors until you find one that LISTENS to you, and explores the possibilities of fibrioids, endometriosis, ovary issues, etc. Try a naturopathic doctor, a fertility specialist, or even a different doctor in the same clinic you’ve been going to.
And remember: 33% of infertility is unexplained. This means that if you aren’t getting pregnant, 33% of the time it’s not that you or your husband have fertility problems – there are just unknown reasons. And there’s nothing doctors can do.
I also suggest trying acupuncture for fertility. It increases blood flow to all parts of your body, which may help regulate your period.
Here’s one of my articles about how acupuncture affects fertility: http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/how-acupuncture-affects-male-and-female-infertility/
I love your list of things you’re doing to make pregnancy more likely! Those are things you can control, and I’m glad you are.
I wish you all the best, and hope you let me know what you’re trying next!
Laurie
I am 42 years old. On the 4th day of my period, i have sex with my husband. Would i get pregnant? As i’m getting older and my younger son is only 4 years old, i’m avoiding to get pregnant again. What should i do now? Please help..
Hi Sherry,
The chances that you’ll get pregnant at age 42 on the fourth day of your period are relatively small — but of course, women unexpectedly get pregnant all the time!
I don’t know where you live, but you can get the “morning after pill” or Plan B in Canada and America. You don’t need a prescription, and it works within three days of the possible conception.
If it’s been longer than three days since you were with your husband, your only option is to wait and see what happens in three weeks!
If you don’t get your period in about four weeks, get a pregnancy test. Then, you and your hubby will need to have a talk!
Good luck, Sherry — and let me know how it all turns out. And try to shake off your feelings of anxiety and fear; the chances that you’re pregnant are fairly low…..and feeling scared and upset about it won’t change the outcome. Focus on positive energy….take deep breaths….
Laurie
I happen to have dense varicose veins in my testicles which I understand is a cause for infertility. If an operation is required how soon? I am 38 and marriage doesn`t seem to be on the cards immediately but def. it will. This is the only factor of infertility I am concerned about.
Orville Raposo here with varicose veins problem.Iforgot to click on the box below.I have done so now.
Hi Orville,
Good question! I’ve asked a fertility expert to respond, and am hoping she’ll be able to shed more light than I can.
One thing is for sure: you’ll need a doctor to examine you in person to know how the varicose veins will affect your future fertility and if an operation is required. Even if a fertility expert gives you some general information here — such as how it goes for most men — you could be the one in a million that’s different than most men!
So, I suggest you see your family physician or a urologist to get a more specific answer.
Also — have you had a sperm test? One way to tell how your fertility is affected is to go for regular tests, such as every six months. That may give an indication of what’s happening with your fertility levels.
Talk to your doctor…and do it sooner rather than later. Men’s fertility levels decrease as they age, just like women…and the sooner you take care of your testes, the better!
Good luck, and I’ll post more info if I find it…
Laurie
Regarding male factor infertility: I just posted a comment on my article about coping with male infertility, which contains new research about physical intimacy and sperm quality:
http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/relationships/coping-with-male-factor-infertility/
Regular intimacy might keep sperm quality high!
Oliver,
It’s called a varicocele and can be associated with low sperm counts or abnormal sperm parameters. Removing the varicose veins, varicocelectomy has minimal improvement in current semen parameters, but may prevent future loss. Also varicoceles can lead to lower testosterone levels which in can exacerbate low sperm counts and well as cause erectile issues in the future.
Varicoceles have a variety of degrees so not all need removal. Stage 3 and 4 are best treated, while stage 1 can be left alone. Stage 2 is more controversial.
I hope this helps.
Dr Sipe,
Fertility Centers of Illinois
Doc, have been having irregular period for the past three years. At times it will be scanty. l have taken some hormonal drug, and still irregular. I need your help.
Peace,
There are many medical conditions that can affect a woman’s period including polycystic ovary syndrome, thyroid disease and hyperprolactinemia. It is advisable to consult a physician to see if you have any other conditions, because treatment is directed at those specific problems.
If you are not trying to achieve a pregnancy then the birth control pill is an excellent option. Most gynecologists recommend a woman have a period every 4-6 weeks to prevent uterine cancer. Most doctors will give some form of progesterone to induce a period, but that does not treat the underlying cause.
I hope this helps.
Dr Sipe,
Fertility Centers of Illinois
hi
im 20 years old and am desperate to have a baby, when i was younger and in school all my friends would talk about how they wanted to become doctors and teachers but iv always known that all i want from life is to be a mum, i decided i wanted a baby from the age of 13 and although it was very iresponsible thats what age i started trying, im know 20 and have been with my partner for 2 years, we have been trying for a baby for 1 and a half years but nothing has happened, i know theres something wrong with me because its been far to long to not have concieved but everytime i go to my doctor they just say im to young to be helped. have you got any suggestions
thanks
Hi Kelly,
This is perfect timing — I just got your question, and I was planning to write this article about four fertility checklists today!
Below is the link to my “Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? 4 Fertility Checklists” article. If you answer “yes” to something on that checklist, you might be able to narrow down the reason you’re having trouble conceiving.
http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/why-cant-i-get-pregnant-4-fertility-checklists/
I also suggest going a different doctor — especially if you have a more clear idea of a potential problem (eg, your periods are irregular).
You are quite young to be having fertility issues, but they can start early. And, the sooner you identify and deal with potential fertility problems, the better off you’ll be!
Give the fertility checklists a try, and make an appointment with a different doctor.
I hope this helps!
Laurie
Hi,
I’m just wondering if there is anything to be worried about…
I’ve been on the pill since I was 15, and I’m 22 now. I was on alesse until a few months ago when I was having some problems with the estrogen and my doctor put me on Micronor the minipill. So far everything has been okay with that pill, I still get my period, though its very light, it comes around every 3-4 weeks or so.
I have two questions relating to future fertility.
Might I experience problems because I have been on the pill for so long and from such a young age?
Secondly, before I started the minipill, I was off of all birth control for a few months. I noticed my periods were much lighter, darker, and clumpier. And since I’m on the pill again, I cant tell if that has changed because its obviously less heavy on the pill to begin with. I’m just wondering if this change in period could signify anything that I should be worried about? Before the last break off the pill I took another break from pills about a year earlier and my periods were normal that time (the flow, colour, everything), and now this last time, it was all changed.
I just dont know if I should be worried, but something in the back of my head always makes me worry even though I have no solid reasons at the moment.
Thank you,
Amanda
Hi,
The use of the birth control pill will not affect your fertility in the future so there is nothing to worry about. The flow will have no effect on your fertility. As long as the reason you were put on the pill was not because of a need to regulate your periods, when you go off them, your ovaries should return to their normal function and begin to ovulate again. At least this first step in the process to get pregnant should be fine. Your body will still need to go through the other 7 steps to achieve a pregnancy (egg has to get to the tube, sperm has to be in the tube, fertilization has to occur, embryo has to develop, embryo travels down to uterus, embryo has to hatch, uterine lining has to allow for implantation). If you were taking the BCP because you had irregular cycles in the past, then you will return to irregular ovarian functioning (causing the irregular cycles) and you may have problems becoming pregnant.
Edward J. Ramirez, M.D., FACOG
Executive Medical Director
The Fertility and Gynecology Center
Monterey Bay IVF Program
Thank you for your reply. My periods were regular before so I guess I should not worry. They sometimes come shortly, but never below 21 days. If they are between 22-25 days is this normal?
Also, my doctor told me that it was ok to not have a period (when on birth control such as the progesterone only pill which I am taking). Above in one of your posts you mention that it is necessary to have a period every 4-5 weeks to prevent uterine cancer. Does this include while you are on the pill?
I have heard that your periods may stop while using the Progesterone-only Pill and if this happens, I would like to know if I should switch pills.
Thank you again,
Amanda
Hi Amanda,
22-25 days can be normal if they are regular cycles. It is a little short and certainly if the short cycle is due to a short “luteal phase” the two week period after ovulation, then that can cause a fertility problem caused “luteal phase defect”. Hormonal supplementation would be required to correct that problem in order to get pregnant. Testing can be done to check for this.
In terms of the progesterone only pill, because it does not have “estrogen” in it, the uterine lining (endometrium) is not produced. For this reason, you don’t usually have periods. It is the same effect that you get with depo provera injections. However, because the lining is not produced, and the lining is what stabilizes the endometrial basal layer, you can get “break through bleeding” episodes for time to time. Then tend to be irregular bleeding episodes and can vary from light to heavy.
The requirement for periods every three months (minimum) is only in patients that are cycling without the birth control pill. That is because if they do not shed their lining, the lining builds up and the cells can turn abnormal. For patients on the birth control pill, such as yours, it is okay to not have a period because it is being artificially suppressed. Personally, I don’t like the progesterone only pills because of the break through bleeding side effect and some other “progesterone” side effects, but they work well and Depo provera is very popular among younger women.
Sincerely,
Edward J. Ramirez, M.D., FACOG
Executive Medical Director
The Fertility and Gynecology Center
Monterey Bay IVF Program
Dr. Ramirez,
I want to thank you again so much for answering my questions. I looked over my calendar last year when I took a break from the pill and it seems as though I might have made a mistake. My cycles were around 27 days so hopefully it has changed for the better since my teen years when I originally went on the pill and my cycles were shorter which I had quoted to you.
You mention that you personally don’t like the progesterone only pill. I myself did have breakthrough bleeding for the first month but since then I just get my period (light though) around every 30-45 days. I originally went off the combination pill because I kept getting yeast infections, and my GP suspected it might have been the estrogen. Sure enough when I went off it they stopped and haven’t come back.
My question for you is, if I were to go back to a combination pill are there any particular brands you might suggest which might not cause yeast infections? I was on alesse before, and then the generic brand alesse, which I strongly believe made the problem worse.
Once again, I truly appreciated this blog. It has definitely put me at more ease.
God bless,
Amanda
Hi,
I am 29 and have endometriosis. We are trying to conceive for 2,5 years. In July we had a failed IVF. My second IVF will be in October-November. Now, I read many articles about TCM and infertility, and I started a fertility (endometriosis) diet without dairy, sugar, and white-flour. I am confused, because my doctors said that I should eat a lot of protein during IVF. (I am vegetarian, so I have eaten a lot of dairy products, milk, etc in July…which I know aren’t good in endometriosis.) My question is, that in your opinion should I leave dairy during IVF (and eat plenty of nuts, beans, etc.) or should I follow, my doctors advice to eat a lot of milk, etc? What would you do?
One more question: Do you think is OK to eat Spirulina, Q10 during IVF (stimulation and after embryo-transfer)? What about Aspirin Protect?
Thank you very much: Nora from Hungary
Hi Nora,
In conditions like endometriosis and fibroids, where estrogen-dominance is a concern, our recommendation is to limit the consumption of dairy. Dairy products can be a significant source of exogenous estrogen and, because estrogen may stimulate endometrial growth, it is a good idea to limit the intake of milk and dairy.
That said, your doctors are absolutely correct that protein intake is important. If you are not vegan, eggs can be an excellent source of protein, as well as beans and lentils, which provide soluble fiber that may promote better hormone balance. If you are still concerned that you are not getting adequate protein with your dairy-free vegetarian diet, you can add a rice protein shake made with unsweetened fruit juice or milk substitute. At Pulling Down the Moon we recommend that women who are trying to conceive avoid soy, so think about rice or almond milk as a dairy alternative.
Of course, in the absence of dairy, it’s imperative that you are taking a prenatal vitamin to ensure adequate intakes of vitamin D and calcium. Also, we find that fish oil supplementation has been beneficial for our patients’ with endometriosis. The omega-3’s in fish oil are important for fighting the inflammation that is associated with endometriosis.”
Beth Heller
Co-Founder / Co-Director
Pulling Down The Moon
Holistic Fertility Treatment Centers
There is very limited data regarding dietary modification and its impact on IVF outcome in association with endometriosis. Certainly weight loss in obese individuals and weight gain in those who are underweight do have a beneficial effect. Individuals with endometriosis who have lactose or gluten intolerance may have more pain related complaints with the intake of foods containing these components, but an effect on fertility has not been documented to my knowledge. One study has shown that the intake of vegetable proteins vs. animal proteins reduces the risk of ovulatory infertility.
Basically, in individuals of normal body mass, it is important to eat a balanced diet and obtain adequate amounts of protein and other nutrients from a variety of sources. I don’t feel that either of the dietary regimens mentioned are likely to have a significantly different impact on IVF outcome.
There is no data about the value or risk associated with the use of the dietary supplements mentioned in conjunction with IVF. Low dose aspirin is sometimes recommended, but this should only be used if advised by the patient’s physician.”
Dr. John Rapisarda
Reproductive Endocrinologist
Fertility Centers of Illinois
Please help me to get pregnant at 52.Thanks
Hi Ann,
Thanks for being here, and I hope you’re doing well.
I’m afraid I can’t tell you how to get pregnant — whether you’re 52 or 22! you need to talk to your doctor or fertility specialist. Getting pregnant in your 40s or 50s requires more in-depth help and advice than I can offer here.
I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful! Please talk to your doctor….and perhaps start thinking about other ways to start a family, such as adoption or fostering kids…
All best,
Laurie
I am 39 and my husband is 4o yrs old. We are trying for baby from 12 yrs. I did operation for endometrics, cyst, 2 IUI, 3 IVF with no sucess. My husband is interested in adoption. i want my biological child. I am confused that we should go for adoption now or wait for 2 yrs more if i concieve ,if not then i will go for adoption, please advice
Hi Vishakha,
I can’t believe you’ve been trying to get pregnant for 12 years! What a long, long time — and so many infertility procedures. I can’t imagine that, and admire you for trying so hard for so long.
I can’t tell you what to do — whether to go ahead and start the adoption proceedings or wait for 2 more years — but I’d be happy to share my thoughts!
The adoption process can take a long time, depending on all sorts of factors. It can take months or even a couple of years to adopt, depending on which adoption center or organization you go through — and if you adopt internationally or locally.
A couple I know who tried unsuccessfully for 5 years to get pregnant, finally decided to go for adoption. After 4 months of the adoption process, her final cycle of IUI worked! She’s now 5 months pregnant, and they simply dropped the adoption process.
For you, Vishakha, I suggest exploring various adoption organizations. Start gathering the paperwork, thinking about the whole process, and preparing for the home visits and interviews. You’ll probably also have to write an introducation letter and submit photos of you and your husband. It’s a long process – and it can be expensive! Adopting a baby takes time, and that time can be good for parents to become emotionally prepared.
Also, and I don’t like to point this out, but the chances that you’ll conceive now — after 12 years of trying — are pretty small. It’s NOT impossible, and I would never say it couldn’t happen! But, the chances are just smaller now than they were before. Our eggs get older, our sperm gets tired, our bodies just become less hospitable to conceiving and giving birth. I’m sorry to say that, but I’m sure your fertility doctor must have said something similar!
So, that’s what I think. I know how much you want a biological child — I want one too! — but, I encourage you to start exploring the other possibilities.
When you get your baby, my friend, it won’t matter where he or she came from. All that will matter is that you finally have the child you waited so long for.
Best wishes,
Laurie
Hi, what does it mean when someone has two cycles in a month? For the last 3 months they have experienced this.(bleeding twice a month)
Robert
Good Afternoon,
My problem is this, I regretfully had an abortion about 7 yrs ago,and havent been able to get pregnant since. At the moment Im not trying but Im not protecting either, but I have in the past and wasnt successfull. We tried for about a year in a half. Ive been to the Doc. and he says everything is ok. Didnt go through the testing but by papsmear everything is ok. My question is, how likely am I to get pregnant after an abortion that was late in the pregnancy term? Could it have messed my system up? Does it make since to ask if scare tissue is blocking? My periods are normal. A little long but I can just about pin point when Im going to start. Its usually bewtween 28-32 days The last few months Ive started on the same exact day that I did the month before. But this month Im 2days past due from the date of the month before. Dont really think Im pregnant, but could be possiable.
Thanks for your time.
Hi Stephanie,
I’m sorry it took me so long to respond; thanks for sharing your question and such an important part of your life here!
I’m not a medical expert, and your own doctor (or a fertility specialist) is the best one to answer the question about the abortion possibly affecting your chances of getting pregnant. I’ve heard both sides: some women are affected, and other women aren’t.
I do think it’s a good idea to ask your doctor to check for scar tissue — and I think it’s good that your periods are normal and regular!
Did you get your period yet?
Best wishes,
Laurie
Hi Robert,
I’m sorry it took me even longer to respond to you! I was actually in Europe for 3 weeks and just got back last week, and am still catching up.
Regarding having two menstrual cycles in a month: the best way to figure out what it means is to talk to a doctor. I know this isn’t the most helpful answer, but all sorts of things need to be checked to determine why the period is coming so often: hormones, glands, weight issues, stress, ovary issues, cysts…to answer a question like this, the woman really needs to see a doctor in person.
Once the cause of the “extra” periods is known, then a treatment can be found.
Sorry I can’t be more helpful…
Laurie
Hi Laurie,
I was reading one of your article on B12.I need to relate my experience with you.From June to July I was taking vitamin B12 Jabs every week.(Injection form)as I was anemic.I started to get regular periods.The august unexpectedly I got pregnant.Then the gynae asked me to stop the B12 but stopping it resulted in a miscarriage.From then on until now I have not been able to conceive at all.I have not gone back to B12 jabs also.Would going back ti B12 jabs be a solution for me? My periods are also very irregular these days.When i went to a recommended gynae she prescribed me to take metmorfin.But the metmorfin caused me to bleed everyday.Today I did not take it.I did not bleed as well.Now I am only on folic.When I asked my gynae why I was bleeding she said it was normal.But I seriously want to stop and have stopped taking metmorfin.Now I am trying to naturally conceive.I am only 23.Now my main worry is can I go back to B12 jabs? Many people report that is causes weight gain as well.Would it?
Hi Arihah,
I’m so sorry I missed your question until now — I revamped this website, and fell behind with the comments.
I’m also sorry that I can’t give you any medical advice about B12. I’m not a doctor; I’m just a writer learning alot about infertility because of our infertility journey! I can only offer emotional or psychological support, not medical advice.
That said, I encourage you to get a second opinion. Perhaps a fertility specialist would be able to give you solid advice about B12 and getting pregnant.
Take care, best wishes, and good luck getting pregnant! I bet you will…it’ll just take time to sort through this first, with a specialist.
Laurie
Hi Laurie,
My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 1/2 years. I am 27 and have a very regular cycle. We have had him tested – everything is good there. I had an HSG – everything looks great there. They decided to have us try Clomid, we did for 9 months and no result. Over this time we have been using ovulation predictor kits to try to time it correctly. I have had my thyroid checked and that is fine. We are now going to try superovulation with insemination next month. I’m nervous about going through this process and having it not work because they cannot seem to find anything wrong with me / or know what might be preventing us from becoming pregnant. My doctors do not seem to be concerned with endometriosis or cysts bc my cycle is regular and my HSG was good, so they did not do a Laproscopy. Any thoughts about all of this would be great. Anything else I could do?
Hi Laurie,
Just wondering, you give counsel to so many women on infertility- have you ever recommended them the Pregnancy Miracle e-book, by Lisa Olsen?I found it on the fertility site from your webpage.It may just do them a whole lot of good.
For example, in the last post, Becky talks about having tried Clomid,and Lisa Olsen talks about it, about its ineffectiveness.
Hi Becky,
It sounds like you’re on the right track; you’re taking it one step at a time and you aren’t missing any fertility tests or possible issues.
I can only think of two things to tell you: 1) about 30% of couples who can’t get pregnant are coping with “unexplained fertility”, which means they’ll never know the cause. Both partners seem to be perfectly healthy, yet they can’t get pregnant after years of trying. I don’t mean to be discouraging; my point is that there may be nothing at all wrong with you.
And, 2) a close friend of mine and her husband couldn’t get pregnant after 5 years of trying. It’s the same thing as you: both are perfectly healthy, both trying ovulation predictor kits, both went for fertilty tests, etc. But — here’s the good news — ten months ago, they tried intrauterine insemination ONCE, and she got pregnant! For some reason, his sperm just wasn’t getting to the eggs, and they just needed a little help.
I think your chances of getting pregnant with the superovulation and insemination are good, my friend. Make sure you stay as calm and de-stressed as possible, and visualize your baby growing in your womb and becoming a healthy, strong boy or girl
Let me know how it goes — my thoughts and prayers are wtih you.
Blessings,
Laurie
Hi Orville,
Thanks for your suggestion. I don’t want to personally recommend any specific pregnancy products, because I don’t know if they’ll work for particular couples coping with infertility. I’d rather provide the links, and let readers decide for themselves if they should buy the products or books.
I’m glad you’re here, and hope to see you around again soon!
Laurie
Today my baby was born! Angela Michelle arrived at 5:34 PM!I was worried at first about what to expect, but I read a few books that I found at this website to help educate myself about newborn babies. I highly reccomend it.
Congratulations, Sharice! That’s so exciting, and I wish you all the best with your new baby.