Even if you are positive or have the ability to block those negative feelings out sometimes they come rushing back and youcant control them. How am I suppose to feel? I’m genuinely happy for my friends and coworkers who are pregnant and mothers already but I can’t help but have a small pity party when my pregnant coworker complains non stop about her pregnancy and ends every conversation with when you are pregnant then you’ll see. The reality is despite all these tests & treatments & IVF it still might not happen. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ok with that. I under stand what you were trying to convey with this article, but the tone is just wrong. It reminds me of my friend who told me not to worry I’d get pregnant eventually. Just be patient. Ummmm no it’s only going to happen if IVF actually works one time. Her attitude was so flippant and ignorant . Not helpful at all.

Trust me, I’d love to think myself out of this saddness.

My husband and I have been TTC for almost 4 years now. We eventually got tested mid-2011 and the verdict was male factor infertility.

It was difficult to digest because from thinking it was something that could be easily corrected, our only option jumped to being IVF/ICSI with TESE sperm. By the end of October 2011 our first try was negative. Needless to say it was devastating for both of us and we don’t have the cash to back another cycle just yet.

My husband didn’t want to share our infertility with anyone and because it’s MFI, I respect his decision. The last few months however, have been very tough for me and I’ve started to feel very isolated emotionally, from everyone and even from my husband.

On the surface it seems that if were able to just try again, things would be easier to cope with but I honestly know the infertility has deeply affected us each individually and has rippled into our relationship.

I think we’ve reached our breaking point of not knowing how to move past this.

One day we will be mothers and much like given birth, we will forget the pain. we may never be mothers and be forced to remember, but the pain will slowly fade.

I pray for a baby every day. I will add all who feel the same heartbreak I feel to my prayers.

Thank you for sharing your experience here; I’m so sorry to hear about your difficulty getting pregnant. I find that infertility depression can seem overwhelming at times, and isn’t too bad at other times. Sometimes I’m so sad when I see babies, and other times I’m glad I’m not a mother because the baby seems like more than I can handle!

Stay positive, my friend. Many thousands of women get pregnant against all odds — and a big part of it is staying faithful and hopeful! Don’t let infertility depression overwhelm you.

I also think it’s important to create a fulfilling life outside of your desire to have children. For me, it’s writing and blogging – I love my Quips and Tips blogs, and I want to be a published author one day. Those goals make my sadness that I may never get pregnant easier to bear, because my life isn’t wrapped up in having children.

Keep me posted; I’ll keep you in my prayers.

Blessings,
Laurie

PS I always wished my name was Leah! And Rosie

I’m so sorry to hear about how you can’t get pregnant, and your struggles with infertility depression. That’s such a long time to keep being disappointed, year after year…heartbreaking.

I wish you all the best with your new tests, and hope you find some answers!

Blessings,
Laurie

I am SO sorry I missed your comment and question! I went on vacation for almost 3 weeks, and have alot to catch up on.

It sounds like you’re struggling with infertility depression — but it’s so difficult to just “get over it” because it’s all around us. Like you said, our friends are having babies, we see children everywhere, and our own hormones make us want to conceive and give birth.

I think the most important thing you can do is to get active. You mentioned you don’t have a job — and I think the simple act of having to get up in the morning and go somewhere can help fight infertility depression. Work can bring meaning and purpose to our lives — and not having a job can increase depression.

If your job search is taking a long time, I encourage you to find volunteer work. Find ways to be needed, to help other people…I really believe that will help you overcome infertility depression.

I also think it’s important to remember that you may never be okay with the fact that you can’t get pregnant. It may always be a source of sadness for you. Maybe you’ll never overcome your feelings…and maybe that’s just part of being human, of being a woman who wanted children but couldn’t have them.

Helen, I hope you’re doing well — I’d love to hear from you again!

Blessings,
Laurie

I wanted children since I was 18, now I am 40 and I still do not have children.
I was able to bury the negative thoughts about infertility for a few years now, as I had a very demanding job.

Now I am in between jobs, and I believe I have developed depression caused by infertility.

Seeing that other couples succeeded where we did not, it is so painful. I love to play and look at other people children; but, when I leave them my heart is broken. .

The next day I feel like doing nothing, roaming around the house like a zombie.
I feel like this 2-3 days a week.

Recently I heard that the friends I had in school have children now, that hurt so much, and I do not feel like talking to them again.

What steps I need to follow to overcome these feelings? What do I need to do?

Thanks,
Helen