Getting Pregnant in Your 40s or 50s – Successfully!
She says, “I woke up one day at age 45 and wondered ‘Where did these last 20 years go?? They just flew by! I’m ready to have a baby now.”
If you’re in the same boat – reaching your 40s or 50s and wondering if you’ll ever get pregnant – read Mary Beth’s story below. She had in vitro fertilization at age 51 and is seven months pregnant!
For more info on healthy pregnancies, read Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility. It’s an excellent resource for getting pregnant, no matter how young or old you are!
Getting Pregnant in Your 40s or 50s – Successfully!
This is a Q & A with Mary Beth, a pregnant 52 year old woman.
Had you already grieved the idea of never having kids? No, not really. I made conscious choices along the way to put my career first, knowing that child bearing would wait a while. Somehow I always felt that I would still have kids (either marrying a guy who already had a family…or would still somehow have my own).
What made you decide to try in vitro fertilization (IVF) at age 51? After changing my life around so that I wasn’t so focused on my career, I met a wonderful man when I was 46 and at age 47 it was very serious. That’s when we started speaking with fertility doctors to see what our baby choices were. They told me choices were 1) still use my eggs (small chance of getting and carrying a pregnancy) or 2) consider donor eggs. So, we tried in vitro fertilization.
Did you consider adopting or fostering children? Yes. My husband and I discussed this in great depth. We decided to try the IVF route for 3 cycles. If that didn’t work, we were then going to enthusiastically pursue adoption.
When people discover that you’re 52 and pregnant, what reaction do you get? Most say “Wow, that’s incredible. That’s awesome and you are brave!!” A very few say “You are out of your mind.”
How long have you been married, and how old is your hubby? We’ve been married 2½ years. I just turned 52 and my husband will soon be 52.
What advice would you give women coping with infertility? Stay positive, give it time, keep an open mind and consider all options for infertile couples. Again – stay positive and optimistic! Consider what’s best for you and don’t listen to what your family and good friends are saying. Initially, my own mother was really against IVF and wouldn’t even discuss it with me. I figured in due time she would come around when she was ready. My husband and I knew what was best for the two of us…and we didn’t seriously listen to anyone else’s comments. Most everyone was excited for us to be trying to get pregnant over age 40, but a few weren’t.
What would surprise people to learn about infertility, or getting pregnant in your 40s or 50s? That it still can happen!!! Keep yourself in the best possible health…and stay positive!! So far (7 months along) I have felt GREAT. I never had morning sickness and still haven’t had a day yet of feeling pregnant. That’s more than my younger sisters could say about their pregnancies 20 years ago when they were in their 20s!
Are you having trouble getting pregnant? Read Why Can’t I Get Pregnant? Male and Female Fertility Problems.
If you have any questions or thoughts about getting pregnant in your 40s or 50s, please comment below…
Category: Assisted Conception, Health & Wellness, In Vitro Fertilization IVF Tips, Infertility Treatment Tips, Pregnancy Tips
Getting pregnant in your 40s is definitely more difficult than getting pregnant in your 20s — but it’s easier than getting pregnant in your 50s!
It’s difficult, but not impossible……..
It is very encouraging to hear that there may be opportunities to have a baby after 40. I have a couple of friends with 40 and 42 years and they are very disappointed of not having babies before 40. I will tell them that there are always alternatives and they should try.
This is really encouraging. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for 6 months now. I’m 41. Hope I’ll get my miracle on my birthday.
Dear Martha,
I wish I could give you a magic natural recipe for pregnancy, but I just don’t know. The sad thing is, once we reach 40, our chances of getting pregnant are much lower than when we’re 35, or even 38 (much less 22!!).
My best advice would be to talk to a fertility specialist. Not necessarily a naturopath or alternative medicine practictioner — I think you need to find out if you’re still ovulating. If you’re not producing eggs, then I’m pretty sure that no amount of natural herbal remedies or acupuncture can create them!
Talk to a fertility doctor; the initial consultation should be free. They can test whether or not you’re still ovulating, and then you can figure out your next step.
I know how hard it is — I’m 40, and I think my chances of getting pregnant have passed! But it’s different for us, because we could never get pregnant naturally (my husband has azoospermia). Accepting the fact that you’ll never get pregnant is so difficult and heartbreaking…not that I’m saying you’re in this boat! You never know, some women do get pregnant when they’re over 50.
But, I believe the best thing you can do is find out if you’re still producing eggs.
Let me know how it goes.
Blessings,
Laurie
I’m so glad I found this site. I’m 47 and I haven’t had children. My first marriage went bad. Even though the doctor did lots of tests and told me I was ok. I was not getting pregnant. They found endometriosis, and did on me a few insemination, didn’t work (I confess I was a little nervous cause I didn’t see my marriage becoming solid in almost 7 years married, but after a couple of months later 6 months I got separated. To make long story short. Now I’m married to 55 year old man and he had kids in her first marriage and it seems (and it hurts) that he is not too much into having kids… although he says “if you get pregnant it will be a miracle and I will be so happy”. I’m thinking maybe he knows it’s hard to get pregnant at this age and soon will be 48. I feel is starting to affect my life and I’m starting to have deep depressions that I try not to show to anybody. And I feel that I’m more into the willing to become a mom than what he is to become a daddy of one of our own. I never consider adoption not because I wouldn’t like to but I always dreamt about becoming a mom and see the miracle of a baby that looks a little like mom and dad. It was always my dream. Please give me some advice. Is there something natural that we can be doing. I mean something to take or something that could help conception?
Dear Raisa,
That’s great that you know what was stopping you from getting pregnant! That’s the first step towards conceiving — and it’s an important one. The more you know about your own body, the better.
I hope the second time is the charm….I’d love to hear how it goes…
Blessings,
Laurie
Wow, this is wonderful news, it certainly gives me hope! I’m 42 and trying to get pregnant too; I just started my 3rd in vitro…basically saying 3 is a strike. The first try, we recently discovered, could have never been successful as there was something covering the lining of the uterous which is now removed, but we tried it after and the egg didn’t implant; this will be second time after the lining issue was removed…
Laurie, thanks so much. I agree that money is such a beast. I feel like we are stuck between a rock and a very hard place because we do not have the money to do either IVF or a regular adoption. It’s very frustrating.
Michele, that is such a good question about raising money for IVF or adoption…I don’t know what to say!
One of my friends who was trying to conceive for 5 years — and has no money — was gearing up to ask her dad to “donate” $10,000 to her cause. Then, she got pregnant with IUI, which was inexpensive enough that she didn’t need to ask him for the money.
Asking people on a website is an interesting idea — especially if you’re open and honest about how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, and how much this means to you.
I’m sorry, but I can’t think of anything else to suggest! I’ll give it more thought…I wonder if there are any experimental IVF procedures that you could participate in? I’m not even sure how you’d find them. But, most universities and hospitals that need to do trials also need voluteers…I’d be happy to be part of an IVF trial!
Money is such a beast. And, infertility treatments are so bloody expensive.
I’d consider asking family members and close friends for a loan, to be paid off within 2-5 years — however long you need.
If I can think of anything more creative, I’ll be back!
I wish you all the best, and my heart goes out to you.
Laurie
Becky, thank you so much for all of the great information. Best of luck to you. Lots of baby dust : )
Hi Michelle,
As a foster parent I can tell you there is a “chance” to adopt through foster care and this plan is relatively free. Another option – private adoption costs money and the birth mother has to choose you. International adoption is a good option especially if you want to get a certain type of match to your family. If you want Af. Am. go to Haiti for example and if you want blue eyed kids shorter statured maybe you should try Ukraine.
Okay…to raise money I would establish your own website and put it at the bottom of every thing you send out. Direct people to it. On your website let people know the reasons for adoption. Another adoption option for you could be embryo adoption which is relatively inexpensive. Just search for this online and….Good Luck. I just turned 43 and my husband and I have been going through 16 years of infertility. He had an undescended testicle as a child and a varicocele. I was perfectly fine. Now I am getting older and it looks like my eggs are fine for 2-3 months and then I have a wonky cycle. This month is looking good and my husband just got another SFA done yesterday so we hope that turns out well. We are also doing clomid this month starting tomorrow. We are doing what we can until our insurance runs out which is about $10K more. We are only doing minimally invasive procedures. I think we are going to try an IUI this month.
Best of luck to you.
Mary Beth, I’m 44 and have been TTC fr 2 plus years. We would like to try IVF but do not have the money. Do you have suggestions on ways to “raise” funds for IVF or even adoption, which is also very expensive.
Yes you are still so young, Leslie Ann…and have so many wonderful options available to help you get pregnant. It will happen!! Just try to enjoy the ride, stay positive and not worry about it.
All the best to you,
Mary Beth
Thanks, Mary Beth! You’re inspiring! After 2 years of TTC, a miscarriage last year, 3 months of meds, and just turning 40, I’m getting discouraged. This is just what I needed to read today! No need to panic–I’m still young!
Best to you, Mary Beth, Kaylee, and LauriePK!
Oh – one more thing. My mom (who initially wouldn’t even discuss our decision to use IVF) is now flying out next week to attend my baby shower. She is now very excited to welcome a new little grand daughter! I knew she would come around, but only when she was ready and on her terms.
Mary Beth
Thank you so much for your comments and positive feedbak. You are very wise to think out all the pluses and minuses of how you will handle this situation. Very sorry to hear about your miscarriages. Hopefully your IVF procedure will be smooth sailing!!!! We are now 8 weeks away from having our little girl join us…and it is such a miracle and a blessing. I really wish the same for you. Please keep in touch, OK?
All the best and wonderful positive thoughts for you!!! – Mary Beth
I wish you all the best with your IVF, Kelsee! I hope you get pregnant, and stay pregnant until that baby is ready to be born.
I considered IVF, but am not ready yet…want to try another six months of IUI first.
Laurie
Hi
I think you are amazing and wish you every happiness and success
I too am 51y and understand everything you have said
I have had 3 miscarriages in last 4 years so have just decided to try IVF So far we do not plan to tell family or friends as l believe it is our decision alone and too many people want to be negative about pregnancy in latter life so l think as it is best to have a positive attitude this is definately something we plan to keep private