Nothing I can say can make you feel all better about infertility, but these tips for coping with childlessness may help you deal with the grief, heartache, and depression that infertility brings.
The sadness of letting go your dream of having children may never go away completely…but you can find other ways to live a happy, fulfilling life.
Before the tips, a quip:
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~ Buddha.
Compassion, self-love, and self-care can help you move from despair to acceptance of a childless life. If you’re facing a life without biological children, you might find Childfree After Infertility: Moving From Childlessness to a Joyous Life helpful.
And, here are my six tips for coping with not having biological children…
6 Tips for Coping With Childlessness
1. Talk to a counselor who specializes in infertility and childfree living. If you feel guilty or responsible for not being able to get pregnant — or if you can’t get summon enthusiasm about life, your marriage, or your career — I encourage you to get professional help. Talk to a counselor who specializes in infertility depression. Don’t live in a shadow of childlessness! Get help — because you can overcome the sadness that infertility brings.
2. Connect with other couples who are coping with infertility. One of the best ways to cope with childlessness is to associate with people who are in the same boat. Join an infertility support group, such as No Kidding. Make friends with childfree couples who have accepted and are happy with their lives.
3. Explore your other life goals, dreams, and plans. What do you want to do with your life (besides being a mother or father!). Who do you want to be? To feel better about infertility, you need to take charge of your life by pursuing goals not related to having biological children. What do you love to do — what could you spend hours on, and not even notice the time has flown by? Explore your life goals, passions, and dreams.
If you’re coping with childlessness, you may find Living With Infertility – How to Survive Not Having Children helpful.
4. Find ways to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression. These tips for coping with childlessness are useless if you’re burdened with stress, anxiety, or sadness. Get emotionally healthy by practicing “self-care” — which simply means taking care of yourself. Take a day off from work, book a massage, or lay on the couch with a good book. Do the things you love regularly, without guilt and without apology.
5. Relax, and stabilize your emotions and moods. Trying to feel better about infertility won’t work if you can’t relax! There are many ways to relieve stress, ranging from exercise to hobbies to going on vacation. And, some gadgets — such as the emWave Personal Stress Reliever – are effective ways to control feelings of depression or anxiety.
6. Focus the blessings in your life; feel grateful. I know it’s hard to let go of the disappointment and pain of not getting pregnant…but focusing on the positives and reminding yourself of everything you have to be thankful for can be very therapeutic. Make a list of the things you are grateful for, such as your spouse, community, job, or family. Keep this list somewhere where you can see it, such as your refrigerator, your bathroom or in another location that will be a daily reminder of those things for which you have to be thankful.
How are you coping with infertility? I welcome your comments below….and, you might find Dealing With the Disappointment of a Childfree Life helpful.