Feel Better About Infertility – 6 Tips for Coping With Childlessness
Before the tips, a quip:
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~ Buddha.
Compassion, self-love, and self-care can help you move from despair to acceptance of a childless life. If you’re facing a life without biological children, you might find Childfree After Infertility: Moving From Childlessness to a Joyous Life helpful.
And, here are my six tips for coping with not having biological children…
Feel Better About Infertility – 6 Tips for Coping With Childlessness
1. Talk to a counselor who specializes in infertility and childfree living. If you feel guilty or responsible for not being able to get pregnant — or if you can’t get summon enthusiasm about life, your marriage, or your career — I encourage you to get professional help. Talk to a counselor who specializes in infertility depression. Don’t live in a shadow of childlessness! Get help — because you can overcome the sadness that infertility brings.
2. Connect with other couples who are coping with infertility. One of the best ways to cope with childlessness is to associate with people who are in the same boat. Join an infertility support group, such as No Kidding. Make friends with childfree couples who have accepted and are happy with their lives.
3. Explore your other life goals, dreams, and plans. What do you want to do with your life (besides being a mother or father!). Who do you want to be? To feel better about infertility, you need to take charge of your life by pursuing goals not related to having biological children. What do you love to do — what could you spend hours on, and not even notice the time has flown by? Explore your life goals, passions, and dreams.
4. Find ways to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression. These tips for coping with childlessness are useless if you’re burdened with stress, anxiety, or sadness. Get emotionally healthy by practicing “self-care” — which simply means taking care of yourself. Take a day off from work, book a massage, or lay on the couch with a good book. Do the things you love regularly, without guilt and without apology.
6. Focus the blessings in your life; feel grateful. I know it’s hard to let go of the disappointment and pain of not getting pregnant…but focusing on the positives and reminding yourself of everything you have to be thankful for can be very therapeutic. Make a list of the things you are grateful for, such as your spouse, community, job, or family. Keep this list somewhere where you can see it, such as your refrigerator, your bathroom or in another location that will be a daily reminder of those things for which you have to be thankful.
How are you coping with infertility? I welcome your comments below….and, you might find Dealing With the Disappointment of a Childfree Life helpful.
Category: Faith & Perseverance, Health & Wellness, Infertility Depression & Anxiety, Infertility Hope & Acceptance, Life Goals, Stress Management Tips
My husband and i have been married 30 years and have known for 29 that we cannot have children. We have been told by our “christian” friends, co-workers, relatives, you name it – that we must have committed some terrible sin for God to curse us like this. . . we’ve had preachers and other people say and do very hurtful things. . . even yesterday on “Mothers” day at church i was reminded that i could not participate in the drawing because “you didn’t have any babies”. My husband was in an accident as a child and not treated and now has no sperm. . . we have sought many other avenues – all have failed. We’ve tried to focus on the good, but our families aren’t close. They all have children and we’ve been told “not to come to the hospital” when their kids are born or simply not included. Same with our “friends”. I have made blankets and booties as gifts for my pregnant friends and relatives. You name it – we’ve tried it and are still left out and empty. Recently we both lost our jobs – consequently our home and our cars – so much for thinking of things to be thankful for. I feel as isolated 30 years later as I did when it all started. I feel abandoned by God and feel there’s really no purpose to my life at all. I don’t know if there’s anything that can really help – it is what it is, and most days it just sucks. I’m learning not to share my thoughts or feelings with anyone because they honestly don’t care. I’ve prayed until there are no prayers left. We’ve lost everything – even our hope.
I have mainly followed the above 6 tips but still feel rotten.