Comments on: Obsessed With Having a Baby? Dr Phil’s Tips for Women http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby Want to get pregnant? Fertility tips, plus inspiration for living a childfree life. It's all here! Wed, 23 May 2012 18:46:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: A.Roddy http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-8326 A.Roddy Mon, 02 Apr 2012 22:42:29 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-8326 I know this is an old article but it seems there is still denial about babies and pregnancy being an obsession. I am appalled but in some ways not surprised at Dr.Phil's reaction. It is typical. He said the very thing you are not suppose to tell those who are struggling with fertility: try harder. It is also not wise to mention adoption. An infertile couple wants their baby not an adopted child. You have to jump thru some many hoops and you could end up disappointed. It isn't to say they may never adopt but it should be something considered carefully. A child should be adopted to benefit the child not because of an obsession. I think Dr.Phil may be the one needing help. I know this is an old article but it seems there is still denial about babies and pregnancy being an obsession. I am appalled but in some ways not surprised at Dr.Phil’s reaction. It is typical. He said the very thing you are not suppose to tell those who are struggling with fertility: try harder. It is also not wise to mention adoption. An infertile couple wants their baby not an adopted child. You have to jump thru some many hoops and you could end up disappointed. It isn’t to say they may never adopt but it should be something considered carefully. A child should be adopted to benefit the child not because of an obsession. I think Dr.Phil may be the one needing help.

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-5389 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:19:26 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-5389 Dear Mallory, Thanks for your comment - I'm glad you can see how bad Dr Phil's advice is, even though you want a baby badly! You seem like a smart, insightful woman. I hope you meet a family man soon :-) I haven't read this article on Dr Phil's tips for women obsessed with having a baby for a long time -- and I'm infuriated all over again! I bet the fertility doctor paid Dr Phil - it was an hour long infomercial. I wonder if the couples on Dr Phil's show ever did get pregnant, using the fertility doctor's in vitro fertilization. Blessings, Laurie Dear Mallory,

Thanks for your comment – I’m glad you can see how bad Dr Phil’s advice is, even though you want a baby badly! You seem like a smart, insightful woman. I hope you meet a family man soon :-)

I haven’t read this article on Dr Phil’s tips for women obsessed with having a baby for a long time — and I’m infuriated all over again! I bet the fertility doctor paid Dr Phil – it was an hour long infomercial.

I wonder if the couples on Dr Phil’s show ever did get pregnant, using the fertility doctor’s in vitro fertilization.

Blessings,
Laurie

]]> By: mallory http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-5368 mallory Thu, 28 Jul 2011 18:18:45 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-5368 Ok that is horrible advice. I'm obssesed with having children and have to remind myself everyday why I can't. Not everyone should have children. For me its cus one I'm not married and can barly afford myself let alone a child. If I fallowed his advice I would be poking holes in condoms. That's just not responcible advice. He is an enabler. Ok that is horrible advice. I’m obssesed with having children and have to remind myself everyday why I can’t. Not everyone should have children. For me its cus one I’m not married and can barly afford myself let alone a child. If I fallowed his advice I would be poking holes in condoms. That’s just not responcible advice. He is an enabler.

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-5038 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:52:13 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-5038 Hi Jennifer, Thanks for your comment! I love hearing from women who don't plan on having children, who aren't obsessed with getting pregnant, and who are happy and fulfilled. Did you hear about the research that shows that parents aren't any happier than non-parents? When we want something so bad, we think the world revolves around that thing and it'll make us soooo happy. But, like you said, a child isn't just about the "gootchee gootchee goo" and cuteness of babies who smile and are happy all the time. Anyway - I appreciate you for being here, Jennifer. Blessings, Laurie Hi Jennifer,

Thanks for your comment! I love hearing from women who don’t plan on having children, who aren’t obsessed with getting pregnant, and who are happy and fulfilled.

Did you hear about the research that shows that parents aren’t any happier than non-parents? When we want something so bad, we think the world revolves around that thing and it’ll make us soooo happy. But, like you said, a child isn’t just about the “gootchee gootchee goo” and cuteness of babies who smile and are happy all the time.

Anyway – I appreciate you for being here, Jennifer.

Blessings,
Laurie

]]> By: Jennifer http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-5025 Jennifer Tue, 31 May 2011 18:59:22 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-5025 Hi Laurie I totally agree that there is purpose to a womans life if she doesnt have a child. I also think that it is emotionally unhealthy to obsess about something as much as people obsess about having a baby. Do people think about the reality of it all? do they see past the cute baby stage and the responsibility of bringing a child into the world? Perhaps 80% of the time they do but when you hear people saying they want a baby to complete them or so they have someone to love them and all that.. i just think its not fair for the child. There should be more focus is schools on the reality of having a child. Also are councelling services part of fertility clinics.. is there a focus on addressing the need/obsession that someone has to try and find a balance. I can be as maternal as the next woman but i dont think my life is lacking because i dont have a child and dont plan to. It really is possible to be happy and fullfilled as a woman without being a mother. thanks Jennifer Hi Laurie
I totally agree that there is purpose to a womans life if she doesnt have a child. I also think that it is emotionally unhealthy to obsess about something as much as people obsess about having a baby. Do people think about the reality of it all? do they see past the cute baby stage and the responsibility of bringing a child into the world? Perhaps 80% of the time they do but when you hear people saying they want a baby to complete them or so they have someone to love them and all that.. i just think its not fair for the child. There should be more focus is schools on the reality of having a child.
Also are councelling services part of fertility clinics.. is there a focus on addressing the need/obsession that someone has to try and find a balance.
I can be as maternal as the next woman but i dont think my life is lacking because i dont have a child and dont plan to. It really is possible to be happy and fullfilled as a woman without being a mother.
thanks
Jennifer

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-1608 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:25:27 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-1608 Hi Marcia, Thanks for taking the time to comment -- and your venting is no problem! In fact, it was fascinating :-) I totally agree that Dr Phil's standards have sunk to Jerry Springer or even Maury Povich's level! It's very voyeuristic. When he first started, I loved how he'd counsel people about eating disorders, relationships, work problems, etc because there seemed to be something for everyone. But now it's much more soap opera-ish. I'm sorry to hear about the friend of your family, who couldn't get pregnant and was berated on Dr Phil. That's too bad, that now she's devastated and probably confused about whether she should keep trying to get pregnant, or give up and focus on other things...that's sad. I hope she finds someone wise and supportive to talk to, whether it's a counselor or woman who's made peace with infertility, or a mom who kept trying to get pregnant and succeeded.... Take care, Marica, and I hope to see you again in cyberspace! Laurie Hi Marcia,

Thanks for taking the time to comment — and your venting is no problem! In fact, it was fascinating :-)

I totally agree that Dr Phil’s standards have sunk to Jerry Springer or even Maury Povich’s level! It’s very voyeuristic. When he first started, I loved how he’d counsel people about eating disorders, relationships, work problems, etc because there seemed to be something for everyone. But now it’s much more soap opera-ish.

I’m sorry to hear about the friend of your family, who couldn’t get pregnant and was berated on Dr Phil. That’s too bad, that now she’s devastated and probably confused about whether she should keep trying to get pregnant, or give up and focus on other things…that’s sad. I hope she finds someone wise and supportive to talk to, whether it’s a counselor or woman who’s made peace with infertility, or a mom who kept trying to get pregnant and succeeded….

Take care, Marica, and I hope to see you again in cyberspace!

Laurie

]]> By: Marcia http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-1598 Marcia Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:05:48 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-1598 Hi Laurie, Even though it's an older article I would like to comment on the Dr Phil show you wrote about concerning getting pregnant at any cost. Although I DO NOT watch Dr. Phil, I believe he has lowered his standards to Jerry Springer's level of entertainment "TRASH TV", he has an up coming show that I will be watching. A friend of our family was asked to come to the show because they are not having success becoming pregnant. The couple was asked to get websites of baby supplies to provide to show representatives. They were led to believe Dr. Phil was going to assist them with their hardship and possibly provide the couple with some nice gifts. Instead he berated them for trying so hard to get pregnant. That they should consider counseling. This is a complete 180 from the Sept 09 show you have listed on your website. She was devastated. I wonder what friend he was promoting on this show? Needless to say our friend is now dealing with the scars he left..So now she has two hardships in her life. She is so sweet, a genuine person that would be a terrific mom. For him to treat her in that manner is inexcusable. Just wanted to vent to someone. Thanks for listening. Marcia Hi Laurie,
Even though it’s an older article I would like to comment on the Dr Phil show you wrote about concerning getting pregnant at any cost.
Although I DO NOT watch Dr. Phil, I believe he has lowered his standards to Jerry Springer’s level of entertainment “TRASH TV”, he has an up coming show that I will be watching. A friend of our family was asked to come to the show because they are not having success becoming pregnant. The couple was asked to get websites of baby supplies to provide to show representatives. They were led to believe Dr. Phil was going to assist them with their hardship and possibly provide the couple with some nice gifts. Instead he berated them for trying so hard to get pregnant. That they should consider counseling. This is a complete 180 from the Sept 09 show you have listed on your website. She was devastated. I wonder what friend he was promoting on this show? Needless to say our friend is now dealing with the scars he left..So now she has two hardships in her life. She is so sweet, a genuine person that would be a terrific mom. For him to treat her in that manner is inexcusable.
Just wanted to vent to someone.
Thanks for listening.
Marcia

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-1583 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:39:35 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-1583 Hi Purplebrick, Thanks for your comment -- I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend getting pregnant. I don't know if it's a formal psychological condition (being obessed with having a baby) -- that's an interesting question! But what really matters is what you're going to do with wanting to get out of a relationship with a pregnant girlfriend. If she decides to keep the baby (which she probably will, being obsessed with getting pregnant and all), then you have a moral, ethical, and legal obligation to help her care for the child. I don't know what this will look like -- every couple is different. You need to sit down with her and figure out where your relationship is headed, and what role you'll play in the baby's life. It's very sad that she got pregnant against your will (that's not morally or ethically right -- and yet you have to live up to your moral and ethical obligations! doesn't seem fair). But, the bottom line is that it's not the baby's fault. That kid didn't ask to be born, and is totally innocent. It's up to you and your girlfriend to provide a stable, loving, safe environment for him or her. You don't necessarily need to marry her or even stay in a relationship with her to do that (thought two parent homes are really good for kids -- depending of course on the type of parents and the environment!). Who can you talk to, to review your options? Maybe you could call Planned Pregnancy or even a local help line...they'll be able help you find the right resources and decide what your next step is. I wish you all the best, and hope you let me know how things go... Blessings, Laurie Hi Purplebrick,

Thanks for your comment — I’m sorry to hear about your girlfriend getting pregnant. I don’t know if it’s a formal psychological condition (being obessed with having a baby) — that’s an interesting question!

But what really matters is what you’re going to do with wanting to get out of a relationship with a pregnant girlfriend. If she decides to keep the baby (which she probably will, being obsessed with getting pregnant and all), then you have a moral, ethical, and legal obligation to help her care for the child. I don’t know what this will look like — every couple is different.

You need to sit down with her and figure out where your relationship is headed, and what role you’ll play in the baby’s life. It’s very sad that she got pregnant against your will (that’s not morally or ethically right — and yet you have to live up to your moral and ethical obligations! doesn’t seem fair).

But, the bottom line is that it’s not the baby’s fault. That kid didn’t ask to be born, and is totally innocent. It’s up to you and your girlfriend to provide a stable, loving, safe environment for him or her. You don’t necessarily need to marry her or even stay in a relationship with her to do that (thought two parent homes are really good for kids — depending of course on the type of parents and the environment!).

Who can you talk to, to review your options? Maybe you could call Planned Pregnancy or even a local help line…they’ll be able help you find the right resources and decide what your next step is.

I wish you all the best, and hope you let me know how things go…

Blessings,
Laurie

]]> By: Purplebrick http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-1581 Purplebrick Mon, 15 Feb 2010 16:16:16 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-1581 I am certain that my girlfriend got pregnant out of an obsession with having a baby and that this was against my will. Now I am feel trapped and I want out. I just don't know what to do? This is a different kind of obsession and I would like to know whether there is a know psychological condition for this? Can someone help with some comments or stories to share? I am certain that my girlfriend got pregnant out of an obsession with having a baby and that this was against my will. Now I am feel trapped and I want out. I just don’t know what to do? This is a different kind of obsession and I would like to know whether there is a know psychological condition for this? Can someone help with some comments or stories to share?

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/dr-phils-tips-for-women-obsessed-with-having-a-baby/comment-page-1/#comment-1471 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Wed, 03 Feb 2010 02:57:51 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/?p=882#comment-1471 Tania, thanks for your thoughts -- you sound like a kind, reasonable woman! I wish you all the best in your decision whether or not to have kids...I don't think I'll have children, and I don't feel that bad about it at all. Not everyone is cut out to be a mother. Maybe that's why Dr Phil's advice to women obesessed with having a baby struck such a nerve with me! Belinda....I'm sorry to hear about your mom going for in vitro fertilization at this stage of her life. What a sad situation. I don't think you can take any legal action against the fertility clinic, to prevent her from getting pregnant. I actually don't think you can do anything to stop her. But, the chances that she gets pregnant through in vitro fertilization at her age are quite small. This isn't very empowering news, I know, but she's a grown woman, even though not a very mature or responsible one! You might want to call the fertility clinic and talk it through with a nurse or doctor there, but I honestly don't think you can do stop things from happening. If your mom does get pregnant and have a baby, you'll have to draw the line at babysitting for her. You'll have to set boundaries and stick to them...but don't worry about that bridge until you come to it! Blessings, Laurie Tania, thanks for your thoughts — you sound like a kind, reasonable woman! I wish you all the best in your decision whether or not to have kids…I don’t think I’ll have children, and I don’t feel that bad about it at all. Not everyone is cut out to be a mother. Maybe that’s why Dr Phil’s advice to women obesessed with having a baby struck such a nerve with me!

Belinda….I’m sorry to hear about your mom going for in vitro fertilization at this stage of her life. What a sad situation. I don’t think you can take any legal action against the fertility clinic, to prevent her from getting pregnant. I actually don’t think you can do anything to stop her. But, the chances that she gets pregnant through in vitro fertilization at her age are quite small. This isn’t very empowering news, I know, but she’s a grown woman, even though not a very mature or responsible one!

You might want to call the fertility clinic and talk it through with a nurse or doctor there, but I honestly don’t think you can do stop things from happening.

If your mom does get pregnant and have a baby, you’ll have to draw the line at babysitting for her. You’ll have to set boundaries and stick to them…but don’t worry about that bridge until you come to it!

Blessings,
Laurie

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