These tips for dealing with disappointment of not being pregnant will help you feel hope again. I know how hard it is when you’re trying to get pregnant but can’t. There’s nothing worse than getting your period!
“Instead of berating yourself, look forward to how you and your partner are going to manage the situation,” says Yakov M. Epstein, a psychologist at Rutgers University and co-author of Getting Pregnant When You Thought You Couldn’t.
One way to deal with the disappointment of not being pregnant is take control. What are your next steps towards having a baby? To learn more about getting pregnant, read Getting Pregnant When You Thought You Couldn’t: The Interactive Guide That Helps You Beat the Odds.
And here are six tips on dealing with the disappointment of not being pregnant…
Dealing With the Disappointment of Not Being Pregnant
Feel rotten about not being pregnant
Instead of fighting or hiding your depressed, angry, disappointed, hurt or frustrated feelings, let them wash over you for a short time. Feeling awful is much better than shoving the feelings down or expressing them in other ways, such as overeating, drinking, doing drugs, or being cruel. Let yourself feel rotten. You may feel like you’ll die from a broken heart…but you won’t. When you’re dealing with the disappointment of not being pregnant, it’s better to feel and deal with your grief for a short time, rather than suppress your feelings for a long time.
Have you tried fertility treatments? If not, read How Fear of Infertility Treatments Affects Getting Pregnant.
Don’t blame yourself
It’s not your fault – or your partner’s fault – that you’re not pregnant. It doesn’t matter if you had an abortion when you were 16, or gave a kid up for adoption, or waited until you were 40 years old to start trying to get pregnant. You’re not being punished for your past, you’re just part of a couple coping with infertility – and there are a lot of us out there! Don’t fall into the blame game, and don’t get angry at or blame yourself or your partner. When you’re trying to get pregnant, it’s important to stay emotionally centered.
Pull out of your life
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Take a break from the heartache! Distract yourself with funny movies, vacations, new restaurants, yoga classes (or even fertility yoga), new recipes, watercolor classes at the local school or college, new hobbies, road trips, belly dancing lessons, and so on. As important as it is to feel the heartache, it’s also healthy to take a breather every once in awhile. Take a vacation. Laugh.
Stay connected to family and friends
Don’t give up on your friends or family. You may not want to talk about the infertility roller coaster, but keep spending time with the people you love. You may be tempted to pull away, but isolation can make feelings of infertility worse. When you’re coping with infertility, focus on the simple things, such as holding one another when you cry or going for quiet walks. When you’re dealing with the disappointment of not being pregnant, it’s important to stay connected (real and honest) with your feelings and with your loved ones.
Get enough sleep, eat nutritiously, go to yoga class, and find your own healthy ways to blow through the stress and disappointment of not being pregnant. The more physically fit your mind and body is, the better you’ll feel emotionally and mentally…and the quicker you’ll bounce back from the disappointment of not being pregnant.
Focus on your dreams and goals
For me, what works best is staying focused on my writing career. I love what I do, and it really helps me overcome the lows of the infertility roller coaster. To balance your life and not feel completely destroyed if you’re having trouble getting pregnant, find a way to follow your other dreams. If you don’t have other dreams, then create some. Don’t let your spirits wilt just because you’re coping with infertility.
If you haven’t seen a doctor who specializes in pregnancy yet, read Can’t Conceive? 4 Reasons to Find a Fertility Specialist ASAP.
Do you have any questions or tips on dealing with the disappointment of not being pregnant? I welcome your comments below…