Before the tips, a quip:
“Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” ~ Michael Leunig.
Loving each other is difficult enough…but loving each other through the ups and downs of trying to get pregnant or infertility is even more challenging. The most important thing for couples trying to conceive a baby is to stay connected in love, with a single focus and purpose. Maybe your focus is getting pregnant, or maybe it’s starting a family in different ways. Different couples have different ideas — and what works for one may not work for another.
But, the most important thing for all couples is to stay united in love. If you’re having trouble expressing your love, read 80 Ways to Say “I Love You”. It’ll help improve your relationship, which will improve your love life…which may help you get pregnant!
Here are five tips for saying “I love you” and keeping your relationship strong…
Couples Trying to Conceive – 5 Tips to Improve Your Love Life
1. Realize the importance of keeping your love alive when you’re trying to get pregnant. The stress of fertility treatments, and being disappointed every month when your period comes and you’re not pregnant, can lead to sadness, anxiety, and even depression. Couples trying to conceive a baby need to build a strong foundation of love, to help them deal with whatever the future brings…whether than means triplets or a childless life together. The more connected and loving you are as a couple, the better able you’ll be to handle the things that life brings.
2. Figure out how your partner feels loved. Infertility stress can drive a wedge between you — especially if you and your partner give and receive love in different ways. For instance, I feel loved when my husband says two simple words: “I understand.” He genuinely tried to put himself in my shoes when I decided I wanted to stop infertility treatments — and that made me feel very loved. Other people feel loved when they are pampered with flowers, romantic dinners, or trinkets (especially when they’re coping with stressful fertility treatments!). Still others feel loved when they get physical affection: hugs, caresses, foot massages, back rubs.
3. Accept that your partner’s “love language” may not be natural for you. If you need help expressing love in different ways, remember that those ways may feel awkward and uncomfortable. If you can’t say “I love you”, you need to learn how. “My wife’s love language is ‘acts of service,’” writes Gary Chapman in The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. “One of the things I do for her regularly as an act of love is to vacuum the floors. Do you think this comes naturally for me? You couldn’t pay me enough to vacuum the house. There is only one reason I do it: LOVE. You see, when it doesn’t come naturally to you, it is a greater expression of love.”
4. Figure out how you feel loved. Part of improving your love life is knowing how to receive love. Maybe you weren’t told you were loved by your parents or a past partner, and you feel stressed instead of loved when you talk about love. To build a stronger relationship or marriage — especially as a couple trying to conceive a baby – figure out where your feelings about love come from, and learn how manage your feelings of fear, insecurity, or vulnerability.
5. Say “I love you” in words and actions. It’s not enough to say “I love you” on your anniversary, or a casual “love ya” when you hang up the phone. For couples trying to conceive, it’s better to express your love in daily ways that are meaningful and long-lasting. It’s like putting money in the bank for a rainy day: the more love you have built up, the more buffer you have to protect you from potential relationship problems.