Why do couples break up? These ten types of relationship problems don’t just explain why couples break up, they help couples avoid the relationship problems that lead to Splitsville and the pain of letting go of someone you love.
Remember: all couples face relationship problems, but not all problems lead to a breakup.
Before the tips, a quip:
“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ~ Friedrich W. Nietzsche.
If you’re not treating your partner like a friend (with respect, love, generosity, honesty, acceptance, unselfishness, etc), then you’re weakening the foundation of your relationship.
If you’ve already broken up, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love.
And, here are ten reasons couples break up…
Why Couples Break Up – 10 Types of Relationship Problems
The source of these problems for couples is Human Sexuality (2nd Edition) by Roger Hock – yes, it’s a boring title, but it’s got some fantastic insights into intimate relationships.
1. Breaking promises, lying, cheating in relationships. These obvious violations of trust almost always result in relationship problems. If the basic trust in a love relationship is repeatedly broken, the problems accumulate and the motivation to stay together decreases. Couples in loving relationships can learn to reconcile their differences – and even survive an affair – without anger or bitterness.
2. Imbalance of power in relationships. Relationship problems arise when one partner has more decision-making power than the other. When one person makes all the decisions about activities, friends, financial matters, household matters, and vacations, the relationship can become unstable. Both partners should equally share the decision-making power.
3. Low self-esteem, insecurity, and lack of self-confidence. Couples can break up because one partner feels unworthy of being loved. This insecurity can lead to possessiveness and dependence, which isn’t healthy for couples in love.
4. Excessive jealousy in relationships. “Jealousy is cited as one of the most frequent causes of the breakup of romantic relationships,” writes Roger Hock. Delusional jealousy can trigger abuse and violence, which can (and should) cause a relationship breakup! Delusional jealousy isn’t a common type of relationship problem, but normal jealousy can be.
The rest of “Why Couples Break Up” has been moved to my new site, “Quips and Tips for Love and Relationships.”
Please go to 10 Reasons Relationships Fail – From Broken Promises to Control Issues to continue reading.
If you have thoughts on relationship problems or why couples break up, please comment below…
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.