What to Do When Your Dog Dies

Your dog’s death may be one of the hardest things you ever face. Here’s what to do when your dog dies – these tips are from dog owners who know what it’s like to lose a beloved companion.

what to do when your dog diesA Beadwork Garden Stepping Stone – Pet Footprint is a wonderful memorial for your dog. When your dog dies, you might be comforted by a visible reminder and testament to your dog. For me, the most comforting way to cope is to believe my dogs’s spirit is still alive, and we’ll be reunited one day.

Here’s how one journalist handled the death of her dog: “When my precious schnoodle, Puccini, died, I channeled my grief into a project I’d been working on for 13 years-a series of children’s books called Adventures With PawPaw,” says Diana Scimone. “After Puccini died, I pushed the project into high gear.  About a year later, the first three titles in the series were published-and more are on the drawing board.”

Not everyone can publish a book about their dog’s death, but learning how pet owners survived loss can help you know what to do when your dog dies.




What to Do When Your Dog Dies

“I’ve got four boxes of ashes on my book shelves – three dogs and one cat – for the pets I’ve had to say goodbye to over the last dozen years,” says Carol Hodes. “Each was an important member of my family [I have no children].  I am of the belief that you have to accept that the grief will be as profound, if not more so, than if you lost a human member of your family.  And you need to surround yourself with people who understand that.”

People who don’t share your love of pets will not understand your sense of loss.  In most cases, I had to make the decision to euthanize the pet and I also find that to be both a uniquely challenging and, sometimes, uplifting aspect of the experience. You got to be there for the pet and give the ultimate gift of a peaceful and pain-free end.

Cherish your other pets – whether they’re dogs or cats

“I have been lucky that I’ve always had another pet at home to help me through the sadness – and they do feel the loss of their friend, too,” says Carol, who knows what to do when your dog dies. “And I have gone on to get other pets to fill the void.  I don’t understand the perspective of some people who, when they lose a beloved pet, won’t take the risk of getting another pet to love because they might eventually have to cope with the death of their dog or cat.  Two years ago I lost my Pembroke Welsh corgi, Chip, to cancer.  I knew that by the spring I would have “puppy fever” and sure enough, I got a puppy at the end of March.  Scooter is a border terrier who is now a year old.”

Make a memorial album – grieve when your dog dies

sad when your dog dies

What to Do When Your Dog Dies

Dog Memorial Inspirational Photo Frame like the one pictured is a wonderful way to honor your dog after death. You might also consider making a memorial album – especially if you enjoy scrapbooking.

“We have to put our 14 year old dog to sleep two weeks ago.  Not sure how, but he broke his femur bone and he would have had to undergo major surgery to put pins in his leg, or if the break was caused by cancer they would have to amputate and hope the cancer didn’t spread.  Neither choice was good for a 14 year old. I had to explain to my children that “Floyd” wouldn’t be coming back from the hospital.  We had a funeral and memorialized our dog by telling her funny stories about him-how he liked to chase chickens, how he rescued (by barking to a neighbor) another dog that was drowning in our pool, and how he like to sleep in Mommy and Daddy’s bed with his head on the pillow.  We found several pictures of him and made a little album.  This helped us heal and know what to do when our dog died”. – Roni Jenkins.

Explore a different breed of dog

“One thing I have done that may work for some people – I don’t replace one dog with another dog of the same breed,” says Carol. “There’s no way to replicate your last pet and why have the next one held up to comparison all the time?  It’s easier [for me] to enjoy the charms of an entirely different type of dog.”

However, when your dog dies the last thing you may want is another pet – especially if you’re coping with guilty feelings. If you are, read Dealing With Guilt After Your Dog’s Death.

Embark on a new project or endeavor

“I’ve owned Doberman Pinschers for almost 25 years and each time, the loss of each one was crushing,” says Sherry Stinson. “When I lost my oldest Dobe, Tyler, I was numb with grief. He was old, I knew that, and had lived beyond the average age a Dobie lives, but his passing was still devastating. To pull myself out of the all-consuming grief, I decided to start a pet greeting card company and name it TylerDog Cards. This helped me focus on the wonderful joy I had when Tyler was alive.”

Give yourself time to mourn when your dog dies

“Many people advocate getting a new pet to replace the emptiness, while others say to wait,” says Sherry. “Personally, I think you have to give yourself a little time to grieve pet loss before jumping into a new puppy given they require so much attention. However, that’s just me.”

Let yourself grieve the way you need to

“The most important thing is, don’t be afraid to cry, to grief, to miss your pets,” says Sherry, when asked what to do when your dog dies. “Too often people let society deem what’s appropriate to grieve over and what’s not. Pets are an important part of people’s lives today and just as hard to lose as anything else, so it’s very important to just let yourself grieve.”

Share your memories of your dog

“My golden retriever Katie was a huge part of my life for 13.5 years,” says Regina.

What to Do When Your Dog Dies

What to Do When Your Dog Dies

“We went through everything life tossed at us as a team, including my bout with cancer over six years ago. After she passed away, I hosted a memorial service with my friends. We sat in a circle and each guest told a happy story about Katie.  Before each person spoke, I lit a small candle.  After that I passed a balloon around and, as it reached each person, they had to express a wish for Katie in Eternity.  When we completed the circle, I released the balloon and said that it not only carried our wishes Heavenward to Katie, it would grant those same wishes to every pet who had ever been loved and lost by anyone in the group.” – Regina Leeds.

Visit a dog kennel

“We had to put down our beloved dachshund, who was two weeks shy of his 17th birthday. I almost immediately went online searching for dachshund rescue sites to see what dogs were available. I had no intention of replacing Joplin immediately but just found comfort in doing this. I also read up on how to cope with pet loss. Naturally, it’s a very individual thing and people respond differently. The house was eerily quiet without him and 4 months later, my husband and I adopted a wonderful 2 yr. old rescue. We still have photos of Joplin around the house and I do sometimes feel guilty loving Charlie as much as I do, but it is possible, at least for me, to be able to love this dog as much as I had Joplin.” – Jane Cohen.

Read How to Survive Your Dog’s Death for more ideas and support.

A final tip for before your dog dies: make a clear plan when all is well

“We recently lost Shirley, our cocker spaniel/poodle of 17 years, about a month ago,” says Abby. “My family is still very sad. We have tried to keep it as lighthearted as possible by laughing about her strange habits or funny times when she was around. We did make one mistake the day she passed away. My dad found her body and panicked. To ensure my mother would not arrive home from work and panic also, my dad reacted quickly and buried the dog in the backyard. While preventing my mother from having to watch the burial was thoughtful, it was not what worked for the grieving process. We learned to have a clear plan in case something happens and everyone is not around to make the decision together.” – Abby Harris.

In Letting Go of an Animal You Love: 75 Ways to Survive Pet Loss I interviewed veterinarians, grief experts, and pet owners who survived their pet’s death in sometimes surprising ways. A book like this will help you grieve, show you you’re not alone, and give you ideas on how to memorialize your dog long after he or she has left our world.

If you have any thoughts about what to do when your dog dies, please comment below. Feel free to share your story – because writing can help you cope with your dog’s death.




Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend never owned a dog.



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Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Welcome - I'm glad you're here! I can't give advice, but you're welcome to share your experience below. I'm a writer in Vancouver; my degrees are in Psychology, Education, and Social Work. I live with my husband, two dogs, and cat. We are childless, & have made peace with it. It helps to love Jesus :-)

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414 Responses

  1. Ade says:

    I had to make the decision to euthanize my 12 year old chocolate lab 3days ag, it was time. I love him so much and my heart hurts so much, sometimes I think I’m OK and other times I’m crying uncontrollably. I have a baby album for him so I started to fill it in with other amazing pictures I have of him over the years, yes its been hard but I feel that’s it helping me to move forward, I have also written a poem for him and made a memory box with his collar, baby and some pictures, again this was very hard but I feel it is helping. I have also been sharing stories with my family, crying, laughing I feel this is helping us get through this. I am not religious but I do believe that we will meet again in spirit….this is helping me too. I hope this helps.

  2. Laurie says:

    Thank you for being here, and sharing what you did when your dog died. I know your experiences will help other readers as they cope with their dog’s death, especially if they don’t know what to do. May you experience comfort and peace as you grieve the loss of your dog. May you accept and live with the sad loss, and know your dog is resting in peace. You loved your dog so much, and your took care of your dog until the very end.

    May you remember your dog with a sense of surrender and joy, and know that your dog’s spirit will never leave you. Our bodies are fleeting, but our souls are timeless and endless. Hold on to the sweet memories, and live in a new moment – perhaps a moment that involves another dog to care for, and to be loved by.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  3. ade says:

    I lost my border collie on the 11th February 2015 and it was the most hardest thing I had have to do for my dog by having him put to sleep with my mum and dad which it was there choice , but It was an act of love that made my choice.

    I have an older dog but I am making a plant pot of beautiful flowers which are going to be a memorial for me to help , but also I am planting a plant for him where he was cremated

    I am here if you need me , I don’t have another friend for my dog. When your dog dies don’t tidy his toys and stuff all away. Make a memory box for him.

  4. Laurie says:

    Dear Denise,

    I’m so sorry your dog died….it’s awful. You took such good care of him and loved him with all your heart….and he loved you too! You were his world, and you made him happier than he ever thought possible. You gave him six and a half years of love, food, treats, exercise, and security. You were there for him every day, and he loved you for it.

    Losing a dog is one of the most difficult losses many of us face because the love a dog is unconditional. Our dogs adore us, and when they die…we are left with a huge hole in our heart. You are grieving, and your grief feels overwhelming. But you need to hold on to the hope that this will pass! Believe that your heart will heal, and that you will remember your dog with peace and joy, and a touch of sadness.

    How do you heal after your dog dies? It depends on your personality and past. Some people never stop grieving, and never open their hearts to love another dog. Other people adopt dogs after they grieve for awhile — but they always hold a certain dog in their hearts. Me, I grieved the loss of my dog by holding on to my belief in God, that there is a Heaven and that my dog is SO happy where she is now! I believe my soul will be reunited with hers one day, and that her spirit is here with me. I don’t believe death is bad….it’s a natural part of life, and our dogs’ energy is still here with us.

    My prayer for you is that you find a way to heal from this crushing grief you feel. I pray you find the right counselor — the one you talked to is not the right one for you. I encourage you to try again, with a different counselor. Maybe someone who specializes in grief support and recovery.

    The pain and grief you feel will never totally go away. I carry the memories of the dogs, cats, and people I’ve loved and lost….my heart is always a bit sad that they’re gone. This sadness will remain, because we’re human. The important thing is to find a way to process your grief when your dog dies, to work through it so it doesn’t overwhelm you and prevent you from becoming whole again.

    Go see a different grief counselor, and tell me how it goes. How are you?

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  5. Denise says:

    My dog got killed this past wedn. He got hit by a train because my roommate was careless. I have never felt so much pain in my heart. I can’t eat sleep and all I do is cry. He was a little older then 7. I got him from shelter when he was 6 months old. He was so scared because he had been beaten. He help me threw so much and now he is gone. He loved me and I feel like I should have given him more.What do I to make the pain stop. Went to therapist and that made me worse. I made the poor girl cry. So if anyone is out there to suggest what to do. I would be greatful.
    Thank You
    Denise

  6. Laurie says:

    Thank you for being here, and sharing your memories of your dogs. It helps to memorialize our dogs in writing, even if it doesn’t bring them back. That’s why I like talking about the dogs and cats I’ve loved and lost, because it keeps them alive in some way for me.

    In sympathy for your loss,
    Laurie

  7. Linda says:

    I lost my angel Jazzie on May 22, 2014, She had cushings and she was 9 years 9 months, she was a wonderful little min pin, she was the boss at my house and had a wonderful life, she was bitten by a snake when she was 1 year old and has lost hair on her back, but that didn’t stop her, she loved life and was the boss of the house, when she was 2 she had a puppy we named him Rooster, still have him he is grieving so bad without his mom. My Jazzie girl had gotten a disease when she was 8 that only happen to large dogs, her head sunk in and her mouth didn’t open her trips to the vet would solve that and we were told it may or may not come back she recovered well and a year later she began to get thirsty a lot vet trip proved she had diabities which was a part of the cushings disease and the worst cushings to have, she took 2 shots a day and we took her everywhere we went. she started getting sicker to where she could not jump on and off the couch we got her steps and she continued to get worse over the next couple months. she started laying around and would not stay in the bed, the night before she passed away she walked to floor and came for so many kisses I kinda new. I got up the next morning and she was kissing me a lot and she seemed to be feeling a little better, but I came home for lunch and she was breathing hard and trying to kiss me I picked her up and she died in my arms and that is the only piece I have loosing my little angel Jazzie, Tears are flowing hard now. I loved her so much and little Rooster is howling all day now and crying he misses her as much as we do. I just love him as much as I can and hope we both can get through this together, we buried her at her favorite place on top a beautiful hill she loved to climb and Rooster and I go see her and I try to talk to him about his mom tell him it will be ok, we are both beside ourself at our loss and it feels like a dream. it has been almost 3 weeks and we are still at a loss, Holding her while she passed, I feel that she waited on moma to come home so I could be with her when she left this world. Tears are really flowing now. I am so glad to find this site to be able to let others know the love and joy of our precious animals. Now I will try and help my little Rooster together hopefully we can move on and remember the love we both shared for our angel Jazzie, Jazzie moma and Rooster miss and love you. See you in heaven. and to all that have loved and lost an animal may God Bess you and your beloved pet.

  8. Mary says:

    I lost my Sunny and it hurts so bad. Sunny was a beautiful, smart, loving, beagle. We had him for 13 years. He had the most beautiful face and wiggle when we came through the front door. The last few years, he could no longer hear so well and didn’t know when we got home so he could come meet us. He had pain in his joints sometimes and could not walk well, but this came and went. The vet said he was bleeding internally and was very anemic so we had to put him down. It’s only been 2 weeks, but I feel like from time to time I see him coming down the hall or I hear him walking around the house.

  9. Ann Ferris says:

    Thank you Laurie, I appreciate your comments. My situation’s ironic as I’m a health professional who deals with trauma and other painful issues. Just can’t deal with my own in this instance! Never known grief like it. Your site’s wonderful. Thanks. God bless, Ann.

  10. Laurie says:

    Dear Stuart,

    My heart is with you, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve the loss of these two precious members of your family.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  11. stuart says:

    we had two rescued westies Susie and Maggie.susie passed two years due to illness.
    little Maggie as she was affectionately known was left to ease the pain of our loss.
    now Maggie has died after a short illness from a brain tumor.
    the house like our lives feels so empty.
    I cant stop crying and the pain is so bad,i would do anything to have them both back.
    the happy years we had with them went too fast,and you think its never going to end.
    they say time heals ,but the loss is almost too much especially sat in our empy house thinking of all the happy times we shared.
    I really want to believe that ill see them again one day.

  12. Laurie says:

    Dear Ann,

    Thank you for being here, and for sharing how you’re doing. I’m sorry it’s not going well, that you’re having trouble moving on. The grief of losing a dog you love is heartbreaking, isn’t it?

    I think you’re wise to seek help. If you’re “stuck” in the loss, pain, and heartache, you might need to figure out what the root of the grief is. Sometimes the loss of a dog can trigger other, deeper, unresolved emotional issues or experiences that need to be worked through.

    Perhaps in the long run, this is a good thing. Whatever is holding you back or keeping you stuck needs to be processed and walked through. That’s where true healing is.

    Maybe this is the final gift that your beloved Mol will give you. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, because it will free you.

    Stay in touch. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love,
    Laurie

  13. Ann Ferris says:

    Finally decided to seek help as I just cannot stop the persistent pain of missing my beautiful dog Mol, even though it’s been seventeen months, and we have another beautiful dog in our family now. Love our new boy, but O how I hurt for the loss of my girl. To be honest, I think the photos make it worse. I’ve had to take them down. blessings, Ann

  14. grant says:

    His name was Flip. He was a black miniture schnauzer. He was 14.5 years old when he suddenly passed. We went to the breeder to get a female. She was holding this male back wanting to keep him but her husband would not let her. She had been through 500 pups butt this one was different. A man was coming from another state to pick him up the next morning. The lady decided we should be the ones to have her Flip. We were in love with him immediately. We have both had many animals ,dogs included and have loved them all . Flip had the best life ,he lived in a house with a doggie door and fenced in backyard. He went on unleashed walks almost daily. He was givin the best health care available. They are all special in their own way ,but he was different. The vets wife said if i could have any dog it would be him. There has never been so much love and personality in a dog. He would sit down to kittens face to face and look at and lick them for hours. he loved everything and loved life. He had pain in his stomach area starting around 5 pm then seemed to have a seizure at 430 am , we took him to the vet . he was said to be anemic. We did not have necropsy performed but i beieve from research it was AIHA or Hemangiosarcoma. He is survid by a brother and sister and 2 parents. We are all grieving with every part of our heart and soul .Flip passed on 5-1-13 ,the pain is unimaginable. I have read other post here and although i hurt for us all ,it is good to know other people care so much for their animals. I am not an overly relgious person, but i do believe there is a God and he loves all of his creation equally and all of us will live together forever. God gave them to us to teach us compassion,mercy,loyalty and unconditional love . Gods message is all about love. He would not let the most loving being ,a dog not go to heaven. He would not give us so much love in one of his children then not let us be together again. I will love you and mourn you all the days of my life Flip.

  15. Ann Ferris says:

    We got a new dog two days ago. He is lovely, and so sweet. He was a dog in need, and is about 7 yrs old. He settled instantly into our home and is the happiest little fellow. Best wishes to everyone, Ann.

  16. Ann Ferris says:

    I have been told my grief is “over the top” in that it’s been one year and 3 weeks since I lost my dog and I still miss her so very much.. Everyone asks why I haven’t got another dog yet, and it’s hard to put into words, but I guess the closest I can get to an answer is to say that if your best human mate died would you go buy a replacement? It’s not that I don’t love them, I do, it’s just that I miss my darling so much my heart is broken and I suspect will always be so. I absolutely love animals but I haven’t been able to mend the agonising rip in my heart that happened the day she died. I’m just glad life’s short and even though I enjoy the privilege of being alive I am still glad it isn’t forever because I don’t think I’ll ever get over losing my girl. How beautiful and precious are these animals who lodge in our hearts… I am so grateful I had the years with Mol that I had.

  17. Laurie says:

    Thank you for sharing your stories. It is very hard to hear that others have lost their dogs, but it is good to know that we are not alone in mourning.

    I am in Peru right now, and I was worried to see dogs being abused. I have seen lots of dogs, and only 1 or 2 that are in really bad shape. The rest are not taken care of the way I take care of Georgie, but they are fed and not scared at all of people. They trust people, which warms my heart.

    I love my dog so much, and will miss her more than anything when I have to say goodbye. But I will open my heart and home to a dog who is neglected and needs someone to love him or her.

    Thank you again for sharing your experience, my heart goes out to you.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  18. Michael says:

    Today Miss Anya, my black lab had to be put to sleep. She had been battling against ulcerative colitis since November, had lost almost 20lbs and was just ready to move on. She never showed fear, she was always wagging her tail when I came to see her in hospital no matter what. For 10 years she was my best friend and most loyal companion. I think it will be some time before I can get another puppy but I know that my life isn’t whole without a dog. I actually don’t know if I am coping, it just doesn’t seem real to me. Thank you for your website, it’s helpful to just know that other people care about their dogs as much as I do.

  19. Sue Forkenbrock says:

    I lost my Scully Girl tonight at the age of 13. She was a beautiful tri-colored Australian Shepherd. Scully was supposed
    to die last September after being diagnosed with cancer. She beat the odds and made it through Christmas. I bought all
    kinds of fancy vitamins and dog food to keep her going. In fact,
    today I received word that I had qualified for a credit line to have further vet treatments, possible chemo. Scully collapsed on the kitchen floor tonight and couldn’t get up. She went completely lame. I struggled with taking her to the emergency vet. I thought maybe I could wait until Friday for her regular appointment with her vet. She also had an appointment to start chemo treatment this next Tuesday. But, none of this was meant to be. Scully looked at me with those big brown eyes that could bore a whole through my soul and said, “Mom, I think it’s time.” I zm so heartbroken that she is gone. Scully was my dearest friend; she was always ready for a game of ball and loved her walks around the neighborhood. I will miss her pretty face and sweet disposition. I have another dog named Fox. Scully used to wrestle him to the ground and show him she was the boss. Fox will get all of my attention now, but Scully will forever be in my heart.

  20. Ann Ferris says:

    A whole year has passed since I lost my beautiful darling girl. It’s been a very sad year for me and I will never be able to express how much I miss her… Rest easy my sweet girl. You’ll be in my heart till the day I die and I will love you for ever. Thank you for everything you gave.. my lovely girl, my perfect friend.

  21. Robert Rudolph says:

    CAPE TOWN – South Africa
    Hi readers, we have had the Honour of giving a little mixed Jack Russell cross Maltese a wonderful life and in return she gave us all the loyalty, unconditional love and joy that any animal lover could wish for. Her name was Robynn alias Mischie and we would like to send her a message as we’re grieving and miss her terribly.
    My darling little girlie daddy misses you so much and look forward to the day that we will meet on the Rainbow Bridge. I know you are fine now and can run around without any pain in your legs and you don’t need anymore of that yeach medicine. The house is a bit empty without you and we’re now starting to remember all the fun little places you used lay and sleep in and how you followed me EVERYWHERE I used to go. I miss you when I go out in the car ’cause I know how you used to sit on my lap and enjoy the wind on your face and bark at the other dogs and animals you saw.
    Thank you for the most wonderful 16 years you were with us… we love you and we know you still love us too. Farewell for now and have a swim for us too in the streams where you are. Your furry friend Roxy also misses you and I know she sends her love too.

    Robynn overcame Lymphoma at the age of 9 yrs and lived a great life only to take a bad turn last year with her hips but was lovely treated by our Vet & personal friend Pieter. On Sunday she took a turn for the worst and on Monday we sadly had to say our good byes which was one of life’s hardest decisions being a animal lover.

    RIP my dearest little Girlie, we love you Stax!

  22. Laurie says:

    Thank you for telling us how you coped when your dogs died. It’s an ongoing process – we will never forget or stop mourning our loss.

  23. Joy says:

    I had a puppy we named Dons. He was given to us by my aunt and Dons was very sweet. Every time someone from my family would come home, he would happily run to the door and welcome us. When we are together, he would always be with my side, especially when I am doing chores in the house, he would follow me everywhere. Whenever he feels like sleeping, he would find a spot nearest to where I was staying for that time. What I liked most about him is when I was busy doing something, he would try to do this cute cry he always does just for me to notice him and touch him. He was the sweetest.

    But one day he got sick, I thought it was just a mild one. So i just did home remedies and let him sleep with his favorite blanket. I thought that I would observe him first and when it gets worse, I would bring him to the vet.

    That dawn, I had a trip scheduled downtown, but just a roundtrip. He was looking at me when I left, his eyes were ill. So I just hugged him before I left. During the trip, I was so uneasy, every minute I prayed that he would get better and when I return that night, we would visit the vet. When I finished my business downtown, I bought a toy and then I rode the fastest bus liner in town to get home as soon as possible so I could see my sick dog and take care of him and take him to the vet. But on the way, I received a call from my mother, it was the most painful and unbearable news I ever heard. My mother said that Dons was already dead.

    I didn’t know what to do. I cried on the bus. I had so many thoughts running in my mind: “I wish i didn’t make that trip”, “I wish I had taken him to the vet right away”, “I wish he had waited a little longer because I was already on my way”, and the most painful thought I had, “I wish I was at least there by his side when he was in pain and is starting to leave this world.” When I arrived home, the pain I felt just got worse. I even wanted to have this supernatural power just to bring him back to life.

    Now, I’m trying to move on. But it’s so hard. There is no more Dons that would welcome me when I arrive home. Every time I see all his favorite spots in my house, my chest feels so heavy and I just want to cry. It’s really hard for me especially now that I have a very important life-turning exam coming. I could not review anymore. I just want him back. I would give anything just to have him back. But that will never happen.

    My aunt gave me another dog that looked like him (since this new dog was his sibling). But I still felt empty. He was not Dons. He can never replace him. No one understands the way I feel because my friends are not dog-lovers. My parents easily moved on. I am the only one stuck missing him.

  24. Shawna says:

    I rescued a baby girl shepherd mix last month. She was set to be euthanized at the shelter at 7am Friday, Oct. 19th because the shelter is too crowded and she had an “upper respiratory infection.” I had never rescued a dog before…but there was something about her picture. Her sad eyes…like she had lost hope. I had to help her. So I volunteered to foster, and teamed up with a local rescue group. We got her out with hours to spare.
    She was beautiful, and from the very beginning, was the sweetest little girl ever. Her tail wagged everytime I would peek my head into the room to check on her the first night. She was amazing with my 2 year old and 10 month old. She wanted love from anyone who would give it. It was only a few days after she arrived that we found out she had tested positive for distemper. There had been an outbreak at the shelter a few weeks prior, and the rescue group had her tested just in case. Everyone was shocked. We put her on medication to protect her from other infections until the disease ran its course. I knew there was a small chance she would beat it, but she was doing so well I really thought we could do it.
    Well, this past Thursday night, exactly 4 weeks after I had decided to take a chance on her…as I was giving her a nebulizer treatment to help her breathing, I saw a twitch in her foot. Throughout the day, she had been losing coordination in her back legs, like she would try to walk one way, and her backside would go another. She also couldn’t find me when I called her. She could hear me, but wouldn’t know what direction to go. Her breathing was labored. Her nose was crusting. It was awful. I ended up deciding to take her to the vet first thing yesterday. She didn’t want to leave the house. I practically had to drag her out of the front door. The vet confirmed what I already knew. She had full blown pneumonia, and the distemper had entered her brain. We could try to block the distemper from causing more damage, but it would weaken her immune system, and she wouldnt be able to fight the pneumonia. If we didn’t use the steroids to try to block the distemper, they predicted she would be in full blown seizures by the weekend.
    So I had to make the call. We sat together, waiting for the vet to come back in, and she just laid her head on my shoulder. At one point, she raised her head up enough to lick my cheek..she had never done that before. I almost feel like she was saying “its okay…I’m going to be okay.” I stayed with her until the very end…. and it breaks my heart every time I think of her.
    I hope that she went out knowing that she was loved. That there are people here who cared about her and are grieving for her. I hope that the month I gave her of chasing squirrels, sunbathing on the patio, sneaking snacks from the baby, and snuggling with me on the couch was enough for her. I wanted to save her so badly…and watching her die was the worst day I’ve ever had. I know that it had to happen, and that making her fight would have been cruel. I couldn’t make her suffer. It doesn’t lessen the guilt. All I can hope is that she was happy…and be glad that she didn’t die in a shelter as just another number. I don’t know, I can’t stop crying for her. I just want her back…but I know she’s not in pain anymore…. If it makes any sense at all…I just hope that this place is her heaven.

  25. Ann Ferris says:

    It seems very empty getting ready for Christmas this year – the first since my darling dog died 42 weeks ago. Miss her so very much..

  26. Shelby says:

    My family’s dog passed away today. She was 14 and my family has had her since I was 7. I miss her so much already. I’m 4 hours away from my parents and received the phone call tonight.I feel sad and guilty that I wasn’t there for her when she needed me. I can’t stop crying. She was my best friend; we grew up together. I can’t imagine going back home without seeing her there greeting me with excitement.

    I knew she was getting old and slower but I didn’t expect her to pass just yet. I thought I would be there. If only I had known that my last trip back home in Sept. would be the last time I’d ever see her… but I probably would never have left. I remember the look on her face when I left her. I never thought it would be my final goodbye.

    We had such a bond that I cannot imagine having that with anyone else. She was the only dog I’d ever had and I loved her unconditionally. I’ve never gone through grief like this and I’m trying to ease the pain by researching ways to cope with her death. I just want to feel her fur one last time, I want to kiss her face one last time..

  27. L.W says:

    My 9 years old golden retriever passed away last night. We knew that we didn’t have much time with him due to cancer but his death was still so unexpected and surreal. For the past 2-3 weeks, he responded well to his medications and was his old self, smiling and wagging his tail. In less than 48 hours, he became so weak and lethargic. I was supposed to call the vet today and check him in but it was too late. He passed away last night at around 1-2AM. He was my first dog, he meant everything to me. My house feel so empty now. I feel like calling his name but I know that I won’t get a response. I feel so tired, I really do. I promised my dog that I’ll be strong. I promised him that I will stay focus in school and at work and make him proud…but I find it so hard to do so. I’m so tired of crying. I miss him so much. Its not the same without him.

  28. Chloe says:

    I just lost my best friend Charlie yesterday, oct 9th 2012. She was under my boyfriends farmhouse hunting lizards and bugs, it was always hard to get he attention when she was in hunting mode.. I’m on the other side of the country and was on the phone to my boyfriend when she came across the brown snake. It only took a matter of minutes. The hardest part was not being there to comfort her in the end and getting to pet her one last time. She was everything to me, and still only a puppy at 2 and a half. My boyfriend is building a memorial for her to put in the garden.. When I get home I’m hoping it will help me accept it but it will always be hard.

    Another dog may be on the horizon but I think everyone needs a mourning time, I don’t want to feel as though I’m trying to replace Charlie as that would be impossible, she helped me through many bad times and gave me many many happy memories. RIP Charlie.

  29. Melissa B. says:

    My very best companion Beau died almost 2 weeks ago, a day before my birthday. He was a chocolate pomeranian and he was 17 1/2 years old. We shared many years together and we helped many people together. He was funny, charming, energetic, nurturing, playful. He loved everyone. He was with me everyday for 17 years and the separation I can’t describe. I miss everything, good and bad. He gradually went downhill the past few years but was still able to play, eat, drink, and go to the bathroom. 4 weeks ago he began having seizures, and 2 weeks ago he died. I prayed and prayed that I would not have to make the decision to euthanize him, that he would die at home. God answered my prayers and I was here for all of it. The last weeks were very difficult, constantly monitoring if it was time to make the decision about euthanasia-whether he was suffering enough to consider it. Trying to soothe him through the seizures. I knew he was dying and I have saw death a few times. But I was inconsolable right after. I had to clean him and I covered him, carried him outside, my husband put him in the car and we drove him to a pet hospital for cremation. I havent gotten his ashes back yet. I havent put his toys away or thrown out his treats or food. I am considering getting a puppy soon because I need something to give my love to, Ive always had animals. I am disabled and at home a lot so I need something to take care of. I am not sure about it yet. But looking at puppies online and researching dogs makes me feel better. Nothing will ever replace him and I wouldnt want it to. He was one of a kind. Thanks for the ear.

  30. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Doggy Lover, my most sincere sympathy goes to you. I know just how awful it is, believe me. I hope you do get another dog so some dog will have a chance at a great life. I just cannot do it because I can’t come to terms with the loss of my best friend and I still think about her all the time. It is different for everyone, but for the sake of some dog out there I hope you can take it into your heart and give it everything. Ann x

  31. Doggy Lover says:

    I am so sad. My dog died last week and I witnessed her last moments. I think she waited for me to come home to die. When I arrived home, I placed her on my couch, talked and pet her, put her favorite blaket on her and five minutes later she went to doggy heaven. It was worse than my father passing away. She was my child, and I miss her so much. I am happy other people share my love of losing a four legged friend. My dog was 8 years old and her birthday is on Halloween. I am trying to decide if I would ever get another dog. Your advice is priceless, thank you so much!

  32. Ann Ferris says:

    Mary A: Thanks, you’re right about those biblical quotes. I checked them out myself. Hooray! The separation is not permanent. Couldn’t be better news… Ann xx

  33. Mary A. says:

    The Bible has answers for many of life’s difficult times. Find comfort from the Scriptures and the answers to questions one may have about WILL ANY OF OUR FAITHFUL PETS BE IN HEAVEN?
    DOGS – HORSES – CATS ???
    Several ‘Glowing comments’ from many who are thankful that they have read the articles at this site:

    http://www.LookListenANDThink.com

    look in the right hand column for the word ‘dogs’ and click. There you will find two articles which have brought relief and comfort to many, with reference to other articles on animals….such as mice and mousetraps…and sorting out the good from the bad.
    May you be blessed…..

  34. Chris says:

    My best friend Tika died on September 12, 2012. My home is so lonely without her constant talking. I got her in 2001 and she was full grown. The vet said that she was about 2 years old then. She was never sick or ever had any problems and all of a sudden over a couple of days she got really slow and really tired to the point that she couldn’t stand up. I took her to the vet to find out what was wrong and two hours after I brought her home she died while I was talking to her and petting her. I have never felt such sadness. Just before she died she was in so much pain. I am so glad she is not hurting anymore but I miss my friend more than anything. I feel so lost without her greeting me at the door when I come home. She gave me so much love. She shed a lot and it is very hard because every time you move something in the house you see traces of her. Thank your for this website.

  35. mary hankins says:

    I came home from work tonight as usual and opened the back door, oh God how I wanted Toby to greet me like he always did before, but now there was no Toby cause, he doesn’t live here anymore. The pain isn’t constant, but at times it’s hard to bear. His bed , the treats, his leash they are all still lying there.. He was my best friend and companion for 15 years, no wonder although I try,I just can’t keep holding back the tears. The fun times we had, the unconditional love he had for me, how blessed I was to have him, but no more could it be. On Sunday we were at the cabin, I was swinging on the swing, Tobers walked up to me and joined me and we both rocked on that thing. It was my last special time with him as we looked upon the lake, I told him how much I loved him and I could feel his love too. I just wish I had known this time was all through. So thank you dear Toby for being there for me. A better dog in my eyes there will never be.

  36. Dee says:

    We are now dealing with an ailing senior dog who we adore. We have put down 4 dogs and a cat in the past but somehow the pending loss of this old guy seems like he’ll be the most difficult on our entire family. We rescued him in 2002 and we’re told he was probably about two at the time. He is a beautiful flat-coated retriever mix. He doesn’t bark , is laid back and loves our grandkids. Infant twin boys and a two and half year old granddaughter. They can sit on him, be in his food bowls with him…you name it. I feel like we will never find another quite like him. We are dog lovers and cannot be without one for any length of time. We usually immediately go right out and get another dog to love. We don’t look at it as replacing our current dog. We look at it as giving love and getting loved in return and keeping the circle evolving. I know people think we should wait but we simply cannot. It hurts too much to be alone in an empty house without your beloved pet. Having a new life brings joy and allows you to cry joyful tears over your deceased pet. No one should say wait if you really feel you cannot wait. Grief knows no time frame and everyone is different. We as a whole always look for a new pet within a month of losing one. It has helped us tremendously and I think if there is a rainbow bridge and our dog is happy once again than surely he is happy knowing we won’t be sad and lost forever without him. No one will take our pets memories from us. We hold them near and dear and perhaps someday we’ll meet again. I’m hoping!

  37. Ann Ferris says:

    It has been seven very long months since my beautiful girl died. I have been enveloped in a fog that I have wondered just how long will take to clear. I am now painfully aware that the fog, for me, is permanent. There just aren’t words to describe the loss. The only thing I find that helps is watching the home videos with her in them over the years. She looks so real on the screen it seems for a while as if she isn’t gone. My compassionate thoughts go to everyone who’s where I am in my grief right now. Ann x

  38. Steven and Debby says:

    We just came back from euthanizing out 16 1/2 year old Standard Poodle, “CHANEL”(as in Coco Chanel) just as we did for her father who also lived 16 1/2 years “COCO” (Coco the Clown) as well as for her mother, ” FIFI” (Fifi the French Maid).

    While this was our first time to euthanize a dog that we and our children helped whelped back in 1995. We all spent the whole night, from 10pm until 7am helping Fifi give birth to 8 of the most beautiful and perfect puppies we had even layed eyes on, we pop sacs that did’t break on their own, aspirated fluids out of their sweet little mouths, clamped cut and tied ambilical cord, massaged them—and even Coco picked one up from their warming tray and brought it to my hands(Debby was so afraid he would crush or hurt the new born pup~but he layed it in my hands gently and licked it–he was a very special male dog and just wanted to participate!).

    We had a difficult time adopting out Fifi’s babies, we didn’t want to give up that sweet smell of puppy’s breath and having a gang of ten fluffy white standard poodles greet us with such enthusiasm with ten tongues licking every inch of available skin that they could reach, we came home.

    We knew after the puppies where reaching 4-5 months old that we would need to find all but one other homes and people to love them. Our screening process was almost like vetting a presidential candidate, three visits, visiting potential “parents” homes, reference checks and outrageous prices (to weed out those who couldn’t afford the high $$$$ maintenance of owning a Standard Poodle). Then there was the process of choosing which lucky pup would get to remain with their mommy, daddy and us.

    Chanel literally “climbed her way to the top”, of my head that is! Every day the whole gang would go into the back yard for fun and games. When we would begin the fun all of the puppies would climb up on me while I sat closes legged on the ground. This game involved their form of “King of the Mountain”, and I was the mountain! I was swarmed, almost completely covered in poodles licking and climbing all the way to the top of my head—Chanel was consistently King…eer, Queen of the Mountain and would swat down any challengers who tried to replace her on my head….she was the hands down winner and waved goodbye as her litter mates left the homestead with their new parents.

    I explained all of this because she was indeed a very special dog, so it was slightly different than when we needed to let go of her mother and her father, but while she was a special girl to us, what we did for her today, we did because we loved her with all of our hearts and we owed it to her to allow her, when she let us know it was time, to going peacefully, without pain. She, her mother and her father deserved that from us, it was the very least we could do for her and them for all of the years of joy and unconditional love they gave us. I would like to think that there is a Doggie Heaven and that as Chanel slipped away from her earthly remains that she was whisked away to be with Fifi and Coco running and playing together once again.

    I know that we will eventually get past this current mourning period, but we will never forget, nor be without our sweet dogs, COCO, FIFI & CHANEL, because they will always be with us in our hearts and memories.

    ~Steven S

  39. Kathryn says:

    My sweet girl, Schatzie, died early morning, April 22, 2012. Last August, seemingly overnight, I noticed a lump on her hind leg. I took her to our vet, and they determined she had type of bone cancer called osteosarcoma. They amputated her leg to save her from the terrible pain it causes. She got along really well..better than I did. My heart was broken, and I was determined to do everything possible to save her. By January, I thought she had beaten the cancer. But in February, she started to act depressed. In March, her activity level got less and less. Although showing signs of slowing down, she still loved her treats, and everyone who came into our home. She just layed around and slept more often. Then on March 20th, she started to cough over and over again. At one point, she started to cough up large amounts of blood. I rushed her to our vet, and they did some tests,then gave me the grim news that the cancer had gone to her lungs. At this point, they wanted me to have her euthanized. For some strange reason, I knew she was not ready for that. She still was her happy inquisitive self. Sadly almost 1 month to that day in March, she had a rough night. Since her amputation, I had slept downstairs with her. This particular night, she had two seizures, vomited, and had uncontrollable bowel movements. I stayed right beside her petting her, and telling her how much I loved her, and how she was my best friend. I also told her it was ok for her to go. I knew that come morning light, I would be calling the vets for them to send their euthanization team to my house. But, that wasn’t going to happen. My sweet girl left this world before I needed to make that call. Since that day, I have been in a strange place. I miss her so much. I spend each day feeling so much grief. Nothing seems the same without her here. Every inch of this house holds some memory of her. I keep telling myself that she had agreat 11 years with me. She was never sick, and she was given so much love and attention. I have no regrets, only happy memories of our time together. I am just worried that I will never get past this horrible saddness I feel. Nobody understands why I am still crying, and feeling like I do. It has only been three months. After reading through some of your posts here, I realize I am not alone in my grief. Its refreshing to know that. Ann, I do not think I could move away from my home, knowing my Schatzie was still here. I think you must be a very strong woman. I, too, go to her grave in my backyard, and sit and talk to her. There was a time in my life when I would think someone had to be a little crazy to do these things after their dog died. But now I find myself doing so many of those same things I use to think were crazy. Like putting her collar around the newell post at the top of my stairs. She loved to go up there and keep watch out the hall window. I just thought it was a fitting place for her collar. Each time I pass by it, I pick it up and try to smell a scent of her on it. I must have sniffed all of the scent off it ! Everyone tells me that time will heal my heart, but I don’t know that to be right now. I sure hope it does. Its nice to know that I can come to this web site when I am feeling low.

  40. Devs says:

    Sorry for the epic post. Had pets all my life, dogs, cats, birds, hamsters, fish and a guinea pig. Never have I been without. Took in my family’s pets so they wouldn’t go to the pound and be put down. Give them the best life I could until they passed. I’d beg God but not a single one would ever pass in their sleep peacefully. One by one I had to make that agonizing decision when they aged into very long years. 16 to 20+years. My heart broke even more with each one. I had this pack of five that I swore no more, when they go that’s it! The last two of the pack had to be put to sleep within three days of each other. I was prepared for one but not the other so soon but her lung had collapsed and she had cancer. My sister got a puppy and I knew she’d tire of him as she always does. Taking him in when he was 2 before the passing of the final two actually helped my husband and me. We were broken but he was our hearts joy honestly. We struggle with fertility and have no human children yet so our pets are our kids.
    On July 4th we discovered his destructive chewing of fabrics (socks, washcloths, underwear) had taken a dangerous turn as he’d swallowed fabric and he was struggling going potty. Monitored him for vomiting and took him to the Vet Hospital immediately. X ray showed no intestinal blockage but something in stomach they weren’t sure if fabric or food and sent him home for an x ray the following day hoping he’d poop it out. If food he’d pass but fabric if he doesn’t pass will have to be surgically removed. Asked vet if it could be scoped then removed he said no and asked wouldn’t it be better to removed from stomach than involve the intestines again he said no. I had this bad feeling like maybe I should get a 2nd opinion somewhere else. I didn’t listen. Day 2 he was vomiting even more and they wanted to admit and do barium x ray which showed he wasn’t passing it. I asked about surgery complications and they said not to worry, sure a risk but they’re very successful. Day 3 still monitoring and in afternoon finally decide surgery needed. Vet chooses this time to tell me severe risks as the object is stuck in stomach, duodenum and small intestines. Infection, peritonitis, reopening of the wound or intestines and death a risk but it is rare. He must tell me these things and he’d do it to his own pets and not to worry. They get it out, 48 hours he’s critical but looks good, he’s coming home day 5 they say. We were terrified to visit in case he hurt himself and were upset that the vet tech came out holding him on her hip and then lifted him on his hind legs to show his abdomen. We didn’t ask her to and instantly bad feeling in my gut. Other than him shaking he looked great at 12 pm! We loved on him, took awesome pics and video and would be bringing him home in a few hours. Went home to doggy proof some more and by 4 pm he was in distress, oozing from incision, snapping at staff, fever and they went back in and his intestines had opened up. Nothing they could do and they call and my husband had to say to euthanize while he was on the table. Our boy died on my birthday around 4:45 pm, the 8th and the day he was supposed to come home. We rushed to be with him, two very sorry techs apologizing, one asking how we would like to pay after we were with him only 5 minutes crying over him, collecting payment over his dead body. Not one vet who treated him came in to speak with us.
    We’re devastated, little more than two weeks ago he was walking around and now his ashes are in a box. Family went to get them for us because we couldn’t. Poms can live to 15 and he was only 6, feel like we failed him in every way. That damned cloth! Not sure I can ever forgive myself after he’d chewed so many the warning signs were there and I should have protected him more. Did vets wait too long allowing it to become further lodged? did the tech cause it to open up? read bad reviews on hospital AFTER his death, if we’d taken him somewhere else would they have treated him differently? would he had made it? I know vets aren’t God and can’t save everyone but feel like they lied to us, hate they wouldn’t let us see him til the end. We’re depressed, can’t sleep,feel empty, angry, guilty, nauseous,see and hear him everywhere in his spots and have crying spells. We’ve had 5 people offer dogs but wish we could just have him back. The whole tears, memory, stairway bit. It hurts so much and right now I just can’t imagine having another animal. I’ve volunteered in shelters and know so many animals that need loving homes. Makes me feel like crap but my heart is broken. The only things that make me feel better are music, my journal, Rainbow Bridge poem and rubbing this little rock my friends daughter gave me that I noticed has a tiny image of a small rainbow on it. We didn’t have pet insurance, his bill had to go on cc. I purchased pet insurance yesterday for my sisters dog because they have no money for veterinary care. And her husband wanting to dump his dog now that I got her spayed of course has REPEATEDLY offered her to us. I’ve been spending time with her, walking her and providing for her but just can’t.

  41. margaret smith says:

    Today 18th July 2012 my heart was breaking because our lovely 3 year old boy Ben died .
    Ben got up this morning full of life and playing with his many toys , I got a call at 11 am saying Ben is having a fit I rushed home and my little boy was coming out of one just to go into another one I knew this was bad as he just didn’t know us I phoned one vet and they couldn’t take him so we had to drive a long way but the vet said she thought Ben had brain damage and they would put him on a drug which would help him , we were not allowed to say goodbye I cannot remember the journey home it broke my heart to say to the vet if there is brain damage I don’t want Ben to suffer but they kept saying we have put Ben to sleep to allow the drugs to work but as I was keep on phoning I was still getting no you will get him home in 24 hours but tonight as I phoned them they said Ben had just gone into another fit my heart stopped I said again I want to do the best for my little boy and I cannot see him go though this pain she said they have put Ben to sleep again and giving the same drug but I knew by her voice we had lost my little boy she said we will not put him down just yet we will give him another two hours but I wanted my little boy out of his pain and they said themselves they are sure Ben has brain damage I cried down the phone to my son and my son said mum I seen Ben today and its not right that they are putting Ben though this as all they were talking about was or your bill is Now ? They said they now think its for the best that Ben is put to sleep and they would do when they got off the phone , my son said we want Ben,s ashes and they said it would take a week , We are having our little boy back home but not in the way we wanted Ben to return home .

    I miss Ben so much he was a very good boy if you were sad he would give you the best cuddle and kiss you he loved his football and playing with his toys .

    How do you get over losing such a lovely little boy why do this have to happy please someone help me .

    Ben mammy’s and daddy love you so much we will carry you close to our hearts for ever.

    You were never just a dog to us you were our little boy.

    Rest now my sweet little brave boy xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  42. Van says:

    My dad just told me today that he had my dog put to sleep. I don’t really know why; she was only 9 and although, when I went to college she hasn’t been as healthy and perky as before, I think she would have lived 3 more years until I finished school and came back to get her…what am I supposed to do? He did this without my permission and she wasn’t sick or anything. I feel so bad that I wasn’t there when she got put down, or that I didn’t come home to take her away so she could live with me or at least with a friend until I found a living arrangement that allowed pets. I don’t even know what they did with her body. I feel so heartbroken to think that my little girl was all alone when she left, and didn’t even get to see me before it happened…I’m so heartbroken I don’t know what to do…

  43. Jennifer Conley says:

    I lost my best friend of 13 years on June 9, 2012 – 6 days after his 13th birthday. I’m beyond devastated and struggling with how to move through my grief. I moved into my house in May of 1999 and brought him home when he was 10 weeks old on August 16, 1999. Now I don’t want to live here anymore. Matisse was diagnosed with bladder cancer in October of 2010 – he had surgery and went through 5 rounds of chemo. From the day of his diagnosis I started making his food – all organic and home made. He ate better than I did a lot of the time :) I always cooked for him with pure love. Back in April, right after my other dog had knee surgery, Matisse’s kidney values came back high. We did ultra-sounds and blood work every 2 months since his cancer diagnosis. I took him back 2 weeks later and hid kidney values were higher. I’m grateful for every single second he was in my life…I can barely manage to see any future without him. I would give anything to have him back – I know I made the best decision for him but with the worst possible outcome for me. I want to curl up in a ball and stay in bed. I do have support but I just want to be alone. I feel bad because I know my other dog is struggling with sadness too but it’s all I can do to simply breathe…I want my baby back.

  44. Ann Ferris says:

    This is a tribute in memory of my darling dog who died aged 16 on 28th January 2012 and whom I miss more than I can ever hope to express. My perfect friend, – a friend who gave unconditional love, faithfulness loyalty, exquisite companionship, fun, joy, laughter and some indefinable quality that was the essence of who and what she was, and which can’t be described in words, but which I was fortunate enough to just feel.

    “My Lovely Girl, My Perfect Friend”

    I think about our early days
    They seem so very long ago
    Of mem’ries shrouded in a haze
    My lovely girl, my perfect friend.

    I see you young and fit and strong
    With lively step and robust bark
    And side by side, we sang life’s song
    My lovely girl, my perfect friend.

    Then time ticked by – I saw you age
    Your steps grew slow, your face now grey
    You spent less time on life’s fast stage
    My lovely girl, my perfect friend.

    And then the need to go came close
    You told me you were near your time
    I cried and held you very close,
    My lovely girl, my perfect friend.

    You died, and as I cradled you
    My tears fell on your lifeless face
    And yes, a part of me died too,
    My lovely girl, my perfect friend.

    The months drag by.. life’s lost its zest…
    And losing you has torn my heart;
    Our short time here was richly blest
    My lovely girl, my perfect friend.

    —–

  45. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Sara, believe me when I say I feel your pain.. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and it’s so fresh and so recent, you are no doubt still at that numb stage. Wanted to say to you though, that you needn’t worry about your girl having doubt about your love for her. I know with certainty that our animals know exactly what the bond is between us and them. And words don’t come into it either. They know because they instinctively sense the love, the caring, and they even understand our thoughts towards them. My girl and I didn’t need words. She knew exactly what I was thinking and we frequently communicated that way. She even told me when the end was getting close for her. So be at peace in the knowledge your special girl knew your heart, and given her health problems you did the selfless thing. Don’t think you’re losing it when you’re fine one day and in floods of tears the next. It’s normal. I have bad days where I can’t stop crying and it’s been 21 weeks since my darling girl died. Be patient with yourself and just take one day at a time. Most of all know you’re not alone and there are countless people in the world all going through it. Love and hugs, Ann.

  46. sara says:

    I have cried all over again reading this.
    I had to put my big bear to sleep on Tuesday and it’s killing me. Tara was 12 and a collie x. She was a big ball of ginger fluff. I got her when she was about a year old, rescued from an alcoholic. She was lovely, great with kids and she a fun loving dog. She was diagnosed with a thyroid condition last year and we had it all under control, then last week she had a swollen leg. The vet said it was fluid it was fine, not anything to do with anything else and gave us some tablets.
    She started to chew her leg at the end of the week and i kept it bandaged and clean. She was finding it difficult to walk then went off her food.
    On Tuesday when i came home from work i just knew.
    She was so frail and i knew she was tired.
    I have never had make the decision to let them go to sleep and its breaking my heart!
    I’m doubting my decisions over the last year and i’m convinced she thought i didn’t love her.
    I was hard on her in the last week to make her get up to go in the garden and to leave her leg alone!
    I’m doubting myself that she thought she was not favored compared to my other dogs.
    I know this all sounds mad, but i just need to get it out.
    Everyone is being very kind, but no-body understands at all, all of the mixed feelings.
    I am heartbroken and lost.
    I totally understand everything that people have written, and send my love.
    Thank you from reading my jumble.

  47. Ann Ferris says:

    I have a lovely picture in my mind of all the dogs who have died and left us humans totally bereft, distraught and inconsolable – all running and playing together, barking nd yelping with delight and having the best time. Blessings on all who know what the pain of loss of our animal friends is. Ann x

  48. rose smith says:

    May 29th 2012 my precious boxer dog Tigger was put to rest I can’t cope with his loss,Tigger was diagnosed 12 months ago with an enlarged heart th evet found it accidently, as Tigger went in with a suspected chest infection and the vet was going to put a camera down his throat, as they were about to do this the senior vet said there was no problem with Tigger’s throat as Tigger was going under the anaesthetic he turned blue the vet brought him back with an injection.

    but decided to take xrays, they found an enlarged heart, the vet said Tigger could go at any time but would try him on heart medication, which he did I cried for a week. but somehow the medication worked , until a few weeks ago Tigger was vomiting , we took him back to the vets who said possible he had an upset stomach and gave him an antibiotic and an antacid. he picked after that and was playing as usual.

    Until 29th May Daddy was taking him his usual morning walk over the field 100yds from our house he was only aloud 10mins morning and night this was the vets advice, that morning as they were both coming off the field Tigger collapsed, Daddy waited a few minutes with him and they both came into the garden I was in bed and I heard them come through the gate and Tigger vomited, I got up out of bed walked into the garden to find Tigger lying under our pampas bush,Tigger managed to get up again walk into the back garden and drank a fresh dish of water I had placed down for him, Tigger then tried digging the dirt and placing his head down in the dirt, I rang the emergency vet who said to bring Tigger as soon as possible, which we did, when we arrived at rthe vets Tigger couldn’t get up the vet came round from reception and carried him to his room , placed Tigger on his table he looked inside his mouth and said Tigger is very anaemic I think there is somthing else going on as well as Tiggers heart problem ,the vet said he could take bloods but we would still be there at 6pm and he would suggest the best thing we could do was let him go, I cried and cried but made the decision to let him go, I stayed with Tigger kissing him and talking to him until he fell asleep, I’m crying now thinking about it, my precuous baby he would have been 10yrs old on 18th july 2012, I feel guilt, hurt, fear and depressed I ache so much I miss him terribly!!! the house is empty Tigger followed me everywhere sleptb in our bedroom came into the bathroom lay on my legs for comfort and just to be near me , I have had Tigger’s ashes back and a cutting from his hair which I have had made a necklace with Tigger’s hair inside and a blue forget me not flower inside and engraved with some wonderful words inscribed on the back . it arrives tomorrow , Ive called Tigger’s name I am o’k when I am out with stragers in the street , then as soon as I get home I fall into floods of tears, I pray he is o’k and there is a place Tigger has gone where we can be reunited one day , I have a huge canvas in the livingroom of him a large picture over our bed and a short video on my Iphone a few days before Tigger became ill. I watch it contantly , reading all the letters I know I am going through the same as everyone else it’s just so hard. nothing will ever replace My darling Tigger !!!! my email is malc.rose123@yahoo.co.uk . if anyone wants to email me .xxxxxx

  49. Maxie Steenkamp says:

    On the morning 15th of June 2012, I received a shocking phone call at work from my mom saying that my 5 year old lab,Shadow is dead! I am still dealing with the loss as Shadow as we still do not know how she died just that my mom found her Sleeping in the sun in her usual spot on the wild violets and not waking up when calling her. I miss her terribly as we did most things together, working in garden or cleaning car or going for a drive ect. had such plans which involved her too how when I open my own business one day and she will be able to come with, moving to a smaller town where we could walk more and more everyday as it would be a safer area. Her lil friend a jack russel cross is also lost like I am as they would chase birds together and dig up my garden or lawn looking for that pesky mole! I hope i will be able to get to a point coping with this loss as I cannot figure out my life with out my “child”. She was my child as I have none of my own. All i can keep saying to myself is she is in a better place right now.

  50. chinny pagsibigan says:

    hi,
    my little baby pooch past away yesterday, i really dont know why she died so early.
    shes so affectionate and very loving to us. we went on vacation for 18 days without her since some hotel dont accept dog and some place too, so we decided to leave her but advice my secretary to bring my baby to mall since she like the place very much, as per checking daily activities when we are away shes happy and somtimes lonely but maybe thats natural, then when we came back from vacation. we noticed shes lonely so we decided to bring her in vet clinic, they diagnosed low platelets count , then they give medication but after 2 days continued her loniliss and it worsen so we go to vet clinic again , after another checking they found out my baby have 2 big stone and need immediate surgery since it not possible for medicine only, so she confined to give her medicine to be strong and ready for her operation, then finally she got operated and after 4 days was discharged, shes active and a little sleepy , but she dont eat her advice food so the vet doc advice us give the food she want, then she ate but not much after 2 days she cant eat so we forced feed her foe 1 day aftewards we bring her to vet clinic, another test and they found out high of something, so she confined again after 5 hours she cant breath so decided to put oxygen and after 2 hours remove the oxygen since she can breath in her own, we visited her, she eat , drink and she dont want us to live her, but we decided to go to give her rest , after 4 hours doctor said she ate, drink and after wards she have seisure, really devastated since we saw her strong, what happened? after giving all the medicine she needs and averything, there are many questions in my mind but im really helpless, im really grieving, i love my baby so much, shes my baby, sit besides me , kiss me and sleep besides me, and during my hard trials , everytime i saw her , i will become ok. shes only 3 years old

  51. Ann Ferris says:

    Really missing my lovely girl who died 20 weeks ago today. Lots of tears. Again. Thinking of all you guys going through what I am and even though we’re scattered throughout the world it is a connection, isn’t it, someone to relate to. Best wishes everyone, Ann.

  52. Jb says:

    To everyone who loss their beloved
    It has been almost 3 years since I lost one of the loves of my life, Cobi. I still cry and miss her but it does get better. After she died I was surrounded by white butterflies all the time. They would land on me, fly into my car, and fly around me. I knew that my little white dog was with me. I believe their little souls are with us and will join us again. I was also very depressed. My son said cry till you are done crying it’s ok. After 2 years I adopted a new 3 year old. There are many dogs that need someone to love them. It helps having her but I still miss Cobi.
    June

  53. Liz says:

    Thank you Ann for your kind words. Although they made me cry (yet again), they were a comfort. I have decided to see my doctor as I just cant seem to move on out of this engulfing sadness. Some days I feel ok, then others I just keep imagining her little face everywhere. Thank you again and I hope you find some peace and hapiness in your new home xx

  54. Carol Setliffe says:

    Each time I get a notice that I have a email from this website, I know that someone has a broken heart. It has been almost 9 months since my sweet Molly died I think of her daily, have her picture where I can see it daily. I’m not ready to get another dog, yet, maybe on down the road I will, but right now, Molly still has my heart. I pray that each of you will find peace and know that, although they aren’t with us anymore, they aren’t in pain anymore either. I hope and pray that we will see them again one day. If you’ve ever read the poem “The Rainbow Bridge”, you will love the words that help during this time of grieving, and the hope that one day, we’ll be with our sweet ones again.

  55. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Liz, your post made me so sad. Believe me when I say I know what you’re going through and so do many others on this site whose posts you may have read. It is a difficult thing to go through and I’m still in that painful stage though my beautiful girl died in January so the pain is not as raw as yours. Liz, it takes time, but you’re not alone. All of us on this site (thank God for it) are going through the same pain, just at different stages. Take heart from all of us, that we can support one another and there are many people who are going through exactly the same thing as you right now. I know what you mean that the pain seems to get worse. I felt the very same thing. Your dog was fortunate to have had such an unselfish person as you obviously are. It’s lovely you have a great family but they didn’t share the bond you did with your dog so they are seeing it as observers, whereas your dog was a precious friend whom you loved deeply. Just know you’re not alone. Love and hugs to you Liz, from Ann x

  56. Liz says:

    I had my dog put to sleep several weeks ago and although it was the right decision as she was very ill, I am so depressed. I feel unable to tell anybody how I feel even though I have a loving family. I know they think I should be feeling better now but in fact its getting worse. I have little interest in anything anymore and at times feel so desperate I think I would be better off dead. I know it sounds selfish and indulgent but I just dont see the point in anything anymore. It feels as though her death has polarised everything that is wrong with my life. I really dont know where to turn

  57. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Rose, thanks for your kind words. I do like the thought that as long as they’re in our thoughts and hearts they’re still with us. You’re right – memories and photos.. I hope with all my heart we rejoin them somewhere, somehow. best wishes from Ann x

  58. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Liz, I am in complete sync with your thoughts and feelings. It has just dawned on me though that I haven’t had a good cry since last Saturday, so maybe things are slowly looking up. I feel really sorry that you have feelings of guilt. He suddenly got worse, you say, so it would appear it was something which couldn’t have been avoided. You and he obviously had a lovely bond of love and friendship. I hope the guilt goes and you just have happy memories of the love you shared and what a wonderful precious friend he was. My best wishes to you, Ann x

  59. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Laurie, thanks for your message. The move is over but not the unpacking – ugh.. I haven’t seen the film you mentioned, Hatchi. I like the sound of the ending though – together again sounds perfect to me! We have decided our cat will remain an indoor cat. She’s thoroughly spoilt and very precious, and I don’t want her getting lost or coming to harm. We are now in the country and there are predators around, especially snakes, so she’s (quite happily) become an indoor cat for good! Best wishes, Ann x

  60. Marjorie Koslow says:

    To liz Delaney:
    I have been asking myself when this sadness and pain about Kasey will l begin to fade. She was 13, a gentle girl by anyone’s standards, she died May 12. She was fine until 2 weeks before, she had a seizure, but all seemed fine, we took her to the Vet and the specialist, there were some possible problems, but nothing acute. One week later she seemed to be having more difficulty, trouble climbing the steps, left side weakness. My husband was away that week, everyday when i got home she appeared to be getting worse, I was so worried, but I helped her and took her out, helped her up and down the steps, almost carrying her sometimes. I was determined to take her to the Vet by the end of the week if things didn’t improve…they got worse, she couldn’t see very well, I just knew it. My friend agreed, we took her to the Vet, we had to lift her into the car, at the vets she couldn’t stand. I had a vet I never met before, she was harsh, she said she won’t live another two days, even though her blood tests were OK. She said do you want to put her through a MRI, because she might die while under sedation. the vet thought it was a brain tumor, and yes she was already blind in one eye, she wanted me to put her down then. I said i needed to talk to my husband, I couldn’t do it this minute…was she in pain, probably not physical, but the pain of knowing she couldn’t do things normally. The vet lacked empathy, I was crying, only wanting to do the best for her, my love, my princess, my Kasey. My regular vet called me on the phone while I was there and was understanding and told me what was best, to bring her in tomorrow and we would put her to rest.
    Kasey never complained that night, just as sweet as always, we gave her ice cream, she loved it, as many bones as she wanted, she loved it. She was so close to the end yet still had a great appetite. On Sat morning Kasey seemed to know, she went into rooms she never went into before, stayed very close to me, slept next to me on my bed the night before, not like she usually sleeps on the bed, she has always slept at the foot of the bed, that last night, right next to me, her face to mine. Will the pain get less…I don’t know, I feel like I can’t get started again, no interest. Maybe i see my own mortality, I don’t know, but I know the depth of the love I had for her and the love she had for us, she was such a wonderful dog. I just want to feel that love toward her little sister, who is 2, I will never feel the same I am sure, Kasey was my first dog, that made her special. I wish we were more like dogs, so pure, so unconditional in their love and so happy. I know my little one, Madie, feels the loss and emptiness, she isn’t the same either, she has had Kasey all her life. I want to get beyond this, so since God must have given me the gift of Kasey, then maybe he will help me understand why she had to go, she did her job, her time was done. Thank You for Kasey she added another dimension to my life, I hope I learned well from her. Have faith Liz…I feel your pain, so it’s not crazy when so many others feel this way. I am glad I found this website. We will heal with the help of others! Thank You all

  61. liz delaney says:

    I wonder if the pain gets any better… 4 months my best friend died and it is so very hard to move on…I often think that I could have saved him if I had taken him to the vet. He seemed ok that night and then suddenly got worse . I do feel guilty and think of him every moment.
    I have had contact with his breeder and she had been very helpful. Sometimes I want to get a puppy but until this pain fades, I wont. I miss him so much and I still wait for him at the door when he use to greet me, like I had been gone for years..No other dog will take his place, I loved him dearly..

  62. Rose Long says:

    Dear Ann, I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to leave your girls grave behind. Just know wherever you go she will be with you always in your heart. My pain is still raw, I will never stop missing Holly, she was my best friend, and my life is forever changed without her. I take it one day at a time, but not a day goes by I don’t think of her. She left me with a lot of beautiful memories, and I try to focus on those. I hope your pain lessens, and as long as you remember your girl she’s never really gone………..♥Rose

  63. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Best of luck with the move, Ann. I love my dog so much, I dread the day she dies. I try to cherish every moment with her now. My heart goes out to you.

    I watched the movie Hatchi earlier today, and cried my eyes out. Poor dog – his owner died, and he kept going back to the train station where he picked up and dropped off his owner every day. At the end, he died and finally got to see his owner again. So sad.

    We mean as much to our dogs as they do to us.

  64. Ann Ferris says:

    Well, we’re leaving this house and moving many hundreds of miles away. The day has arrived when I’ll no longer be able to go and sit near my girl’s grave in the garden. I did so before it was light this morning. That too will be just a memory.. She’s been gone over four months and I’ve never missed anyone so much as I miss her. Love and hugs to everyone going through this seemingly endless pain. Ann.

  65. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Rose, thanks for your lovely message. I was intrigued that you heard Holly’s bark. Nice to think she might have been there, just saying hello, so to speak.. What a lovely thought. They are such beautiful creatures. Oddly I miss my sweet girl more now than on the day she died. Am beginning to think the grief is permanent. Best wishes to you Rose, from Ann x.

  66. Rose says:

    Dear Ann, thank you for your kind words. I hope your pain lessens as time goes on. It must be hard to leave your girl behind, but know she will be with you always. Last week one night, I awoke at the sound of Holly’s bark, just like she used to when she needed to go out. I know it must have been a dream, but it seemed so real. For just a second I forgot she was gone. Take care, and know that you are not alone in your grief. Rose

  67. Ann Ferris says:

    Hi Nicholas, can’t imagine how very difficult it’s been losing both of your dogs so close together. You only lost your 4 year old yesterday. My warmest thoughts of comfort to you. One day at a time… take care, Ann

  68. Nicholas says:

    We lost our 14 year old dog on March 8,2012, and two months later (May 25,2012) our other dog died too. She was only 4 but had kidney failure. :'(

  69. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Rose, I felt really sad when I read your story here. I too haven’t thought about getting another dog. It’s really hard and the thing I’ve noticed which was a bit surprising, is that the grief process is extremely long, like a slow moving river. My beautiful girl died on Jan 28 and there isn’t an hour goes by without I think of her so I know what you’re feeling. I think, like you, I’ll have to be feeling a lot more in control of my sadness before getting another dog, if I ever do. My girl was old, unwell and tired. People saying “it’s better she’s gone, she was old” doesn’t help at all. I think you hit te nail on the head with your comment “I will love and miss her always”. Sadly I laid her to rest in the garden but we’re moving now so I won’t even be able to go sit with her any more. We have treasured memories, haven’t we? I’m grateful for that.. Every good wish to you Rose, Ann x

  70. Rose says:

    Dear Maria, I know your pain. My sweet dachshund, Holly had to be put down March 30, 2011. It’s been a year, and two months, and still my heart aches. She was 14 years, 5 months. I can’t bring myself to get another dog, not because I’m afraid of losing them, but I miss her so much, I don’t think it would be fair to another dog. I have her ashes in a special place with her picture, and it gives me some comfort. I am not crying as much now, my husband and I try to recall happy memories, and talk about her. I will love, and miss her always.

  71. Carol Setliffe says:

    Maria, just wanted you to know, that I too, had my Molly, a yellow Lab, I had for 13 yr. and 4 mos. cremated. I felt like you too, about picking up her ashes, but there was a sense of peace when I picked them up, I hope this helps. Be thankful for the time you had with Sammyboy. One day you may be able to give your love to another dog, I have not yet, it’s been 8 mos. for me. Having Molly’s ashes here with me, does help. Hope this helps you when you go to pick up Sammyboy’s ashes.

  72. maria says:

    Sam I Am was the light of my life. A brilliant boy–a 29 pound blue heeler Aussie shepherd border collie, with more charm, wisdom, humor,and courage than can be imagined-he had to be experienced! He was fourteen years and five months old. I had to have him put to sleep because the pain he suffered was excruciating–the chronic pancreatitis was becoming moe frequent and distressing for this former agility dog. I cannot believe that he is no longer here. The days are long, the nights are longer. He was my constant companion. And everyone remarked how he was the Sean Connery or George Clooney of dogs–ruggedly handsome with a wry wit–and so like a little wolf. My sorrow is visceral. I feel it in every part of me. There will no replacing him, of course-but, how I long for him to suddenly appear and bark joyfully. There are people who truly understand, other who feign understanding, and others who, by their demeanor, insinuate that animals are just that and nothing more. No they are so very MUCH more; whereas humans knowingly and willfully exited Paradise, animals remained with the Divine and so their spirits often reveal that relationship to us. They love unconditionally and teach us so much about our nature. They know more about us than we will ever know about them. Oh, my Sammyboy please remember me and come to me in eternity. This is a cry from my heart. So
    lost.I hold all who have written on this blog up in prayer for your losses. How I miss my brave friend and long to feel him close. Tomorrow I will pick up his ashes–I feel numb. But I must bring the little box home. How will I feel? I do not know. I am afraid of the depth of my sadness. He was the only pet friend I have ever known. He stood in for family. He was my family.

  73. Lisa K says:

    My 12 year old little boy Noah(mini dachshund) passed away this Last Friday…I’m in so much pain and to see my Beau (my other 12 year old mini dachshund) just brings tears to my eyes…he crys and howls all day, Noah was his buddy and I’m so scared to death of what could happen to Beau…I miss my Noah and so does Beau….

  74. Carol Setliffe says:

    Dear Ann, You asked why I think that animals will be in heaven. I don’t know that they will be there, but they are creatures of God, He made them, I am just hoping one day I will say my sweet Molly and my other sweet dogs that I’ve had before her. Take care.

  75. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Carol, do you honestly think we will see our beautiful animals again – if so what makes you think that? I desperately want to accept that this is in fact true. I hope and pray it is, but it could be just wishful thinking on my part. I do hold the view that animals being so much more perfect than humans couldn’t be denied heaven by their creator – I so hope I’m right. I guess we won’t know till we pass through the same door they have. Best wishes, Ann

  76. Mary Mengarelli Willis says:

    I had to put down my precious baby girl, KiKi, Saturday night. She was a mini dachshund I’ve had for nearly 12 years. She had cushings disease and I didn’t know it until about 3 weeks before her death. Her belly was very big and the vet would always ask about her belly, but nothing was ever done about it. I had no idea about this dreadful disease until it was too late. My heart is very heavy and the pain is enormous. She was my everything, with a unique personality. I don’t know if I will ever get over this, but thanfully I have another beautiful doxie to love and help me cope. I feel tremendous guilt for not knowing about this disease which could’ve eased her misery and possibly extended her life. I even got aggrevated at her constant need to eat a few times, which is a symptom of this horrible disease. The only hope I’ve got to hang on to is that we will be together again someday, forever, because she is a beautiful creature of God, who loved so unconditionally. There has to be a great reward for that, which is heaven. I thank God for bringing us together and for the love that we shared. She was truly a blessing to me and my children and I pray for her peace, joy and happiness in God’s beautiful kingdom. Til we meet again, I love you, KiKi, with all my heart!

  77. Carol Setliffe says:

    I can certainly understand what all of you are going through, I had to say goodbye to my sweet Molly last September 16, and we still miss her so much. I haven’t gotten to the point of getting another dog, just can’t bring myself to that point yet. She’s been gone almost 8 months, and I think of her everyday. It really hurts when we’re out and I see a yellow lab, which is what she was. I hope and pray that those of you that just lost your precious babies, will find peace and know they are no longer in pain. I truly believe they are waiting on us, and one day we will be joined together again. Take care, and remember the good times, even though the memories hurt, it’s better to have had them and loved them, than to not know their love at all.

    Carol

  78. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Alan, hope by this the rawness of the pain has dulled. Just know there are many of us all going through this awful thing together, connected through this site and I know we all feel one another’s pain. Sincerest compassionate wishes to you. Hope the sun comes out for you soon. Ann x

  79. Alan says:

    I understand how you feel. I had to put my dog that I had for 14 yrs to sleep on May 3 She was my best friend and I am so sad. It was just the two of us so now my house is so quiet. I know time will help but I will always miss her.

  80. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Jim, condolences to you and your family. 19 years is a long time. Your comment reminded me of a story I heard years ago. An animal lover was sad and angry that so many animals in the world are treated badly. He complained to God “Why don’t you do something! I can’t stand seeing animals hungry and abused”. God said “I did do something. I put you there.” Sly must have had a good life. Blessings on you and yours in your loss. I am convinced it is one of the hardest things to get through in life… best wishes, Ann

  81. Jim says:

    Just put down my cat “SLY” today. Been with the family 19 years. Although we have had to deal with the lost of many pets in our 34 years of marriage as we are pet lovers (mostly picking them off the streets), it doesn’t get any easier with time. God Bless to all that have lost their pets recently and take heart in the fact their spirit and love lives on in our hearts…..and they to are God’s creatures and await us on the other side….

  82. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Liz, thanks for your message. I can truly share in what you are going through too. You lost Pinnie at about the same time as we lost ours – it was jan 28 in the early hours of the morning. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can relate to all of them. I guess we are very blessed to have known the bond that comes with loving an animal so deeply. More than anything I hope that animals do “go somewhere” when they leave us. My girl and I had a telepathic thing going. We didn’t always need words to communicate. She “said” very clearly more than once “I’ll be going soon”. I sent her the thought back that she should go whenever it was right, that I’d be here with her, and not to worry for me. Sure enough, it wasn’t long after that she died.
    I hope you start to heal soon Liz. Don’t know how long it takes to rise above this pain but there are obviously many of us all going through it – and thank God for this website and the opportunity to share. with my sincere best wishes, Ann.

  83. liz delaney says:

    Dear Ann, I read your comments on your beloved dog. I know how hard this is for you, it has been for me, very much so. I lost my beloved pharaoh hound in late Jan and the grief is just so different to what I have ever experienced. I have lost my parents (elderly) , sure they were sick and frail, but grieving for my best friend is so much harder. My house feels so quiet, so lonely. I cry each and every night for him..I see someone walking their dogs and anger builds up, they look so happy. My life was like that not that long ago.
    I try and live hour by hour, I have finally started a scrap book on Pinnie but it hurts so much. All I can say to you Ann, we are the lucky ones, behind this pain we are experiencing. We have loved and cared for our dogs and many many people never experience that type of love with animals. It is a special type of love.

  84. Ann Ferris says:

    Dear Claire, thanks for your message. It somehow does help to know someone else knows exactly how you feel and can relate to it. I know precisely what you’re saying – the hair on the chair, and the lead.. I have the collar and lead on my bedside table so when it’s all too much I can shut my eyes and smell it and just imagine she’s still here. I know where you’re at with your up and down feelings. I was the same – some times I felt OK and thought I was coming to terms with it, but others there was just tears, especially in the evenings, first thing in the morning, when we go out in the car and she isn’t in the back seat like she always was, and even in the pet food aisle at the supermarket!.. Ghastly.. I hope and pray you start to heal and I thank you for your concern. Our animals are, I’m convinced, a great and wonderful gift we have for just a while. I feel so priveliged to have had her in my life. Every good wish to you Claire. Ann x

  85. Claire says:

    Dear Ann
    I feel for you, I know how you feel, my lovely dog passed away two weeks ago. Have cried so many tears for her, I can’t sleep or eat. I go through waves of emotion, one minute I tell myself to cheer up, she wouldn’t like me upset, but then I see a reminder like her hairs on the chair or her lead hanging up and I’m off upset all over again. I got her ashes back today and that made me upset initially but a little calmer now I know she is home,

    Am truly heartbroken, I know how you feel. My little shadow has gone and I miss her so much

  86. Ann Ferris says:

    When I awoke this morning I thought of my lovely girl, who died 13 weeks ago today. It struck me that there have been people in my life who have died and yes, I’ve been sad, but this grief I feel for the loss of my dog is gut-wrenching, agonizing and doesn’t appear to subside as the months go by. I miss her so…

  87. Tommy says:

    I gave Steve a chic/pom puppy in November 2011 , Steve just suffer the loss of our other dog on Labor Day Weekend , than the next week he had a bad brain seizer and really set him back , I had a friend that had this wonder lil boy chic/pom so i gave it to Steve. that lil pup he named Milo- and Milo turned out to be a wonderful addition to the family. I really think Milo was like a little angel, Steve and Milo was so great together along with our other dog Bell. Milo was a one of a kind pup just full of himself and he had a great time and love playing in the huge yard. Today April 23,2012 the horrible thing happen, Steve went to move his vehicle and not reealizing that Milo ran under the tire and was accicently ran over and died in the yard which he loved to play in. This was a Horrible thing to witness that the person you love so much is going throught the pain of loosing a pet that he loved so much , my heart is broken. Im so sad. but im glad i was there to help with the burial of Milo. God had other plans for Milo and even tho Milo’s life was short, this little bundle of joy i really believe help Steve through his health problem and now that Steve is doing much better health wise, Milo did more than i think we will ever know he was a great puppy and will be missed dearly. I will miss seeing my lil boy when i go by everyday to see them. He will be missed but while he was here he was wonderful. While i know you Steve must have time to grive, I agree with what other say and in order to honor Milo / Maybe oneday give a Homeless/ shelter puppy/dog the home and the love which you gave Milo. Milo loved you Steve just as You loved Him.

  88. Claire says:

    Bless you Melda. I am going through terrible pain as you are. If you want to email me any time it’s clairehedge26@msn.com xxxxx

  89. Ann Ferris says:

    My wonderful 16 year old dog died twelve weeks ago – and my world collapsed. The house feels empty. The grief doesn’t seem to get less it seems to get more because it’s such a long time since I’ve seen her now all I can do is sit near her grave whch I do a lot. Nothing can ever replace her. Even our cat is depressed. Nothing can prepare us for the pain of losing a beloved animal friend..

  90. Ann Ferris says:

    Everyone here has undergone the agony of separation from our beloved pets. It is nothing short of horrific. I send my compassionate best wishes to everyone especially Amy Blanford. Amy, you did what was right – what was right for your little friend, not what was best for you. You were unselfish not to put your dog through pain, trauma and fear. Don’t feel guilty. You have no need to. I hope we’ll all see our best mates again some day in glory. If humans can get to heaven then animals most certainly can. Best wishes everyone. Ann.

  91. melda says:

    Hi Claire,

    Thank you for the kind words at this p yourainful moment. Sorry for the loss of your friend. I know it’s hard to loose a love one and my thoughts and prayers go out to you . Our babies have left their pawprints on our heart, again tnx
    Love,Melda

  92. Claire says:

    Dearest Melda
    My heart is with you, I can tell your heart is breaking like mine is now.
    I can only hope it gets easier as this pain is the worst thing x

  93. melda says:

    It really hurts.I stil see and hear my spotyboy.spotboy and had great times we danced and he kissed me a lot. He was my companion iluv him sooo much!!!! I call to him and tell him to come back well the wierdest thing happend yestrday. Even my daugther said no one would belive us but it happend.my daughter drew a get well picture for me and it had spoty’s name and mines and my daughter gave it to me in the car aftr school well we stoped by the store and I put my drawing on the dash.we went in the store and wen we came back out I was bout to get my picture but it was gone! My doors we’re locked and it didn’t fly out we looked all in the car but no drawing and no other explanation for the missing drawing. So me and my two daughter think spotyboy took it! The 3 of us witnessed the missing drawing with out and explanation.no one will belive this but my drawing dissapeared.when spotyboy died on4-19-12 I. Went crazy and told him why he lft me so soon I wanted to die wit him at th moment.I been crying ever since.but my daugther told me his little spirit still lingers around here wit me. Tnx for reading dis. If anything like dis has happend to anyone i’d like to know.

  94. Claire says:

    I am so sorry for everyone going through this awful pain. I hope all our beloved babies are safe together watching over us x

  95. zaida milhouse says:

    I lost my precious Maddie April 14 and she wasn’t even sick. She was playing that morning and by that afternoon she was dead. They say it was a heart attack but she was only a three year old little toy poodle. My heart is broken and I don’t even want to go on anymore without her. Such a cruel joke for life to play on me. I feel dead inside and have nothing to look forward to anymore. Prayers for anyone out there that has gone thru this horrible experience with her fur baby.

  96. melda says:

    My heart goes out to all who have lost their dearest friend ,its so painful. I have lost 2 a month apart.Its awful painful. I feel like I could die from the heart ache.I stll hav 3 more puppies but its not the same my home feels quit and lonely even though I still have 3 puppies. Booboo was first den Spotyboy I luvd them verymuch

  97. Paula C says:

    I lost my beloved little Donny a shih tzu on the 15th April 2012. He was diagnosed with heart failure on the 14th April, he came home for one night and then went back to the vet the next morning and he died at 2pm. I am so sad at the moment – he meant the world to me. He followed me everywhere and would woof at the vet until I went to fetch him it didn’t matter how bad he felt. He was getting on in years (13) but I thought I still had time with him. I am grateful that you came into my life Donny you made it so much better than it was for Yen and I. I am so sorry I wasnt there at the end but the vet felt he had a chance to save you and that was what i so desperately wanted. Rest my frog dog :) you will never be forgotten.

  98. Diane says:

    I had to put my sweet Maggie girl down. She just turned 9 and was a golden Lab. She got diabetes and I tried and tried to get her regulated.
    She was so sick to her stomach the whole time. I tried for 3 months, finally one day she was so nauseous, and so uncomfortable, I went for a walk came back and told her I was not going to let her go through one more day like this. The vet said I did the right thing but it just breaks my heart. She went everywhere with me. Just loved to go for a ride. Rest in peace Maggie, I will see you again when it’s my turn.

  99. Claire says:

    I lost my dearest friend Lady on 14th April. She was the sweetest little dog with such a beautiful nature. She was a tough little cookie and had beaten cancer a couple of years ago. I am absolutely devastated and am constantly distraught. I was due to go on holiday the day she died and I decided to still go. I don’t know how I will deal with being home without my baby. I’m heartbroken

  100. julie says:

    i had to have my beautiful dog toby nick named tubby put to sleep last may at the age of 13. i was uncontrolably crying for weeks. i got depression and just wanted to end it all and be with him. i keep having dreams that he is still here with me and they are so lovely until i wake up and find it was not true.once a fer weeks after he was gone my sister heard him bark 4 times and i never but the next day i heard him bark twice. i came running indoors saying tubby are you here wiyh me. i have heard nothing since. maybe he is at peace now and was just letting me know he is alright. still love you so much tubby and miss you like crazy x x x x x x

  101. amy blanford says:

    I had to put my 12 year old chihuahua down. I can’t eat or sleep. How am I supposed to cope with this? I feel so bad that I didn’t take him to a specialist for collapsed trachea a year ago. It is my fault. I keep seeing his frightened face right before he died. I let him down when he needed me most.

  102. tapanga says:

    my dog joezy and i have been close companions for 6 years , she was healthy,sweet and funny. sadly on april 9,2012 she passed away in her sleep with an unknown illness. week previous we took her to a veterinarian and they explained tje reason she wasnt eating or doing anything was because her kidneys stop functioning. weeks later we took her back amd they said that her kidneys werent the problem and they couldnt find what was the problem. the morning when she died a family memeber woke me up and told me. when i went to go see i saw her laying there lifeless and pale but i was too afraid to touch her or say my final words to her before my father took her to the hospital to get her creamated. i miss her dearly and thanks for letting me share

  103. michelle says:

    sadly,we lost our staff bull terrier hugo so quick he was perfect then in 24 hr starfted fitting then was told he had a brain tumour then before i knew it i had lost my bot best friend of 12 yrs,i feel so empty inside my heart has been torn apart,my son who is 16 yrs was with him and so was i,i am so glad as he felt our love and knew we were with him xxxx rip my baby boy best friend love you please forgive me…mum,reece.. no more pain or suffering.xxx

  104. priscilla says:

    April 2, 2012 turned out to be a heart breaking day. Ginger was her normal self throughout the day, in the evening she ran across the floor like somehing was after her. She had a terrible seizure, trying to get in contact with the Vet. was a nightmare. Press 1? Press 2 and on it went, I did get hold of another Vet after many trys, but on the way to the hospital little Ginger died. I called my regular Vet. the next day and said “I, needed a Dr. not press 1 press 2 and etc. Personal at the snd. Vet. went throught a big line of questions stating there will be an emergency charge , ah the almighty dollar , told her I don’t care just need help for Ginger. What happended to compssion?

  105. Beve says:

    We lost Lucy, our 3 year old blue nose pit bull two weeks ago and I can’t seem to get past it. I’m teary too often and our home feels so very empty. I’ve owned many dogs over the years, but none have affected me as much as she has. Her bright sunshine personality, courage, and zest for life were unmatched. She inspired me every day to make my own life better. To live it to the fullest, as she did. I feel tremendous guilt for her death and that too makes it harder. We were camping out on a large ranch, she was chasing critters, as usual, as we drove slowly around shining eyes. She darted in front of the tire and in an instant we can never take back, was gone from us. I would like to offer comfort and hope to others who have lost a beloved friend and pet, but I don’t know how. I’m muddling through myself. But if you’re out there suffering just know you aren’t alone. R.I.P Lucy, we miss you terribly.

  106. B x sad xx says:

    We had to put ou 13 yr old cocker spaniel to sleep last night…we knew it was coming. He had gone blind and deaf and had cushings disease. He was not getting any better even with treatment. He had stopped eating and drinking and could hardly walk , it was tearing us apart to watch this. And eventually we had to decide we where keeping him here for selfish reasons as we did not want to part with him. We hoped he would pass in his sleep and when he didn’t we had to make the decision. I have cried for weeks before as I knew this was coming but yesterday and today feels like my heart has been broke in two, and I can’t stop crying. I was trying to be strong but this morning on my own here , I have cried like a baby. I have another dog which is good but still it hurts .

  107. Chris says:

    Lost my dog on the 23rd March 2012, last thing i saw was his happy face before i left to school, i came back to hear the news of his death. This dog was truly my best friend, my loyal companion and above all else he was always there for me. He was only 2 and half years old, and yet his death is still unknown, I’ve never felt pain like this in my life, all i can think about is how i could’ve saved him there was something that i should’ve done, i really can’t believe he is gone, everything about my house reminds me of him, from the way he used to sleep beside me to how he used to wait for me by the door, i really can’t believe he is gone, i know he is in a better place but if i had one wish i wish i had the chance to say my goodbyes and see him one more time.

  108. David McLean says:

    Today I had my beautiful boy Laird put to sleep.He was just shy of his 16th birthday.He was going blind and deaf and was full of lumps and bumps but played like a two year old.His back legs were getting weak so I used to carry him up and down the stairs when we went to work and also lifted him in and out of the car.But the last few days he wasn’t eating and had diarrhea and this morning he vomited several times.He wanted to go for a walk in the park but when we got there I could see he wasn’t really interested.When we got home he just lay at the front door…he had no life left in him.when i took him to the vet , it was as though he was telling me he was time to go to Heaven…..He was so calm. I, on the other hand was a mess.I told him it was ok to go and he passed away in my arms.
    The grief I am feeling is so overwhelming and I feel I have lost my BEST friend.I know I did the right thing as I could not have him suffer.David

  109. Wendi M says:

    Thanks Mary. I am getting a small tattoo tommorrow, Just Pipers name and a little paw print. It will be my first and only tattoo. It’s just something I really want to do, a kind of emotional thing. It will give me some comfort and it is a mark of respect of the friendship and love we shared. I am a bit nervous though, just afraid of the unknown. But that’s only natural I suppose. I am glad to hear that you are doing better. Take care.

  110. Mary T says:

    Horrible..just horrible..Well I have heard of the USA in some states treating people the same way..Sad but true..Its 2 months today for me..and something I thought I could never do ..live without my dog is happening..God has turned my mourning into dancing..I pray the same for you and your family..Best always..

  111. Wendi M says:

    Thank you Mary for your kind words. The night Piper died she had taken very bad so I rang the vet on call in the vet hospital that Piper had been attending. She was very rude and refused to see Piper till I gave her 300euro. All my vet bills were up to date and I was instructed to ring them if she got bad, mind you that was after they told me she only had days left to live and they told me that in the waiting room in front of everyone else and then could not wait to get rid of me, I hung up on her and brought her to a different emergency vet. They were so nice to me and Piper. They told me she was bleeding internally from too much chemo and the other vet should have known that would happen. If I had not brought Piper to that vet she told me that Piper would have had a very very distressing death. Other things happened too throughout Pipers treatment that I am furious about but the laws in Ireland seem to protect the vet and that is eating me up inside. I cant grieve properly till they answer for things they did. I urge anyone from Ireland not to bring their pet to UCD vet hospital. All they seem to care about is money and I thought that vets actually cared about animals, well I can tell you that in UCD they dont.

  112. Mary says:

    Wendy,
    First of all my deepest sympathy in losing your best friend Piper.
    Petloss.com is a wonderful place also to tell what happened and get positive feedback from others who have lost their pets. I lost my dog Jan14th and they have been a tremendous comfort beyond words. Also if you are a believer, God has helped me in ways I never thought possible.
    Prayers to you and your son.

  113. Wendi M says:

    I lost my beautiful border collie, Piper, a month ago. She was diaognosed with Lymphoma on christmas eve and died on the 13th Feb, I had to have her put to sleep. I am devastated over the loss. She was only 7 and had been very healthy. She was more than my best friend, she was my little girl and we had been through so much together. I suffer with Crohn’s Disease and when I was sick she sensed it and always comforted me. Piper got chemo in UCD Vet Hospital in Dublin and her and me were treated very badly. I have made a formal complaint but got nowhere, but I won’t give up till I get answers and they are made answer for what they did. I am not coping very well with her death and I am crying every day. I feel like part of me died with her and I have this emptyness inside me. I don’t know how I am ever going to come to terms with this. My 18 year old son is in denial and when it hits him it will hit him like a ton of bricks. He loved her as much as I did and he is very angry at the vet hospital as am I. I don’t even know where to start to try and move on from this.

  114. Diane M. says:

    Sadly, we lost our Holly, a six year old Golden Retriever. The most beautifuly, loving, loyal and family dog we will ever know. Her diagnosis was sudden, within ten days we discovered Holly had a growth in her lung and her lymph nodes were extremely enlarged. Until she started to have trouble breathing and coughing, we had no idea that she was so sick, let alone having to decide whether or not to bring her home to die. Prednisone was an option but not a cure. How do you cope with such a sudden ending to something so precious? I guess no time is right, people who have had their pets longer and put them down will say its worse and people who have had their pet a short time will say that that is worse. I look around my home and ask what happened? I am devastated. Diane

  115. Mary says:

    If you need support petloss.com is wonderful just for that. Many people are online to read your tragic story and then give feedback. They have been helping me a great deal since my dog had to go to heaven Jan 14th.12.
    Praying for all of you and your deep grief.

  116. Desmond says:

    Hi all, i lost my dog yesterday ( 5 of march 2012 ) .. i was home in the afternoon at ard 2pm, and went straight for a shower and i realised that my dog, Deeno, was barking , a bark that was deem calling me, it was a strange bark …. i decided to go and take a look, i realised he was alittle weak, tried to feed him with his fave food, he doesnt wanna eat, brought him for a walk, he doesnt wanna walk, so brought him back home … then i sat down on the floor monitoring him, the next moment, he walked slowly into my lap and rest on my arm, then i realised that something is very wrong as he began to pant with loud.. so i rush him to the vet … on the way there, he was on my lap with his head resting on my arm… and lest than 5 minutes of drive… he passed on ….

    Now i finally understand, he is waiting for me to come back, he doesnt wanna eat his fave food, he doesnt wannt go for his fave walk, he kenw his time is up, he just want me to hug him so he can pass on in my hugs …gosh .. im tearing now …..

    anyone who shared the same feeling, please email me at desmondkohtb@hotmail.com …. i need someone to talk to .. i feel so painful !

  117. Alasdair says:

    My poor wee pal ( Maisie ) cairn terrier was hit by a car last night feel just gutted lost a dear wee friend the house is not the same kids keep crying my wife breaks down its just so sad just comes in waves .hardest thing was digging a wee grave in the back garden then placing her wee body in it. Think of a grown man of 43 running out of tears

  118. Sherry says:

    My precious 14 y/o mutt, Kimba has inoperable bone cancer. I know the time is nearing when I have to make the dreaded appointment. I just don’t know how I’ll even get the words out, let alone take her there. I love that dog so damn much!

  119. Debra says:

    I had to make the decision to put our doggy to sleep on Jan. 23 around 7:30 PM, I thought at the time we were just taking him for a check-up and medicine due to an upset tummy. But he had cancer and was diabetic. He was a chin wa (part japanese chin and chihauhau). I had cancer and a paralyzed stomach last year and he was right by my side through it all, loving and caring for me. My heart is totally broken and I am having trouble dealing with the loss of my dear friend. I want and yet don’t want another puppy right now as the loss has been so recent. But the house is so empty and lonely without him that I can’t stop crying. He curled up in my lap or next to me and loved being petted. I hope to soon feel strong enough to find another puppy to give love to, but for now it seems best to wait until the ache in my heart eases. I’m sorry for the loss of all your beloved pets, and know the anguish of losing a pet who is as much a part of the family as any relative. God Bless All of you and thank you for the encouraging words. I hope to be blessed with another loving little boy dog some day soon… Thank you again!

  120. Sean Tighe says:

    Today I had to put my 8 year old Shih Tzu to sleep. He was always at home waiting for me to step through that door and was the best listener. He helped me get through many hard times in my life and he always loved his food and walks. However, when I was on vacation my mom called me and said that she rushed Paddy to the emergency pet hospital because he could not move anything but his eyes. The next day i got news that he had to be put down. The hardest part was that I was not able to say goodbye to him and that he died without me there. Also Shih Tzu dogs are expected to live upwards of 18 years so this was very unexpected and sudden. The comforting part is that he is now in peace and probably looking over me but i just want him to know how loved he is and how much he mattered to me. I want the best for him and since he could not eat or drink this was the best for him. Rest in peace Paddy you will be missed. <3

  121. Rose says:

    I’m so sorry about your dog. It’s bad enough to lose them when they are old and sick. I lost my Holly almost a year ago, and I still cry. They are such a part of our lives, it’s hard to let go. Everyone tells me time is the only thing that helps. Go through the grieving process, you need to. I will always love and miss my Holly.

  122. Madeline Righter says:

    I recently had to have my 9yr old pom-beagle mix put down due to bladder stones and bone disease in her rt femur. I am a senior and I live alone. I don’t get to leave my home often and nobody can understand how much it hurts to lose a part of your life. I have 3 other small dogs but each one has there own quirks or personality. I’ve had several people tell me to give up my other babies and move to an apartment. They can’t see my side of the story. They can’t understand my grief over one. I’m glad to see someone who can understand. I sit alone and cry. One of my other dogs, seems to be grieving almost as badly as I am. She took to her bed and it has been 2 wks. She is coming around and is eating good, but doesn,t want to be bothered otherwise. Is it possible she is still grieving because she sees that I am?

  123. Sharon says:

    I loss my wee Maggie yesterday. She ate some algae and died within three hours. She was only 13 months. I don’t know what to do. Crying seems to be the only thing. She was the most happiest and loving dog. I see her everywherem and feel like I failed her. I miss her so much and feel such sadness. Goodbye wee girl. I love you.

  124. Mary says:

    Liz,
    Please see where I told Tella to go for extreme support from fellow companions that have lost their beloved pet. Its a wonderful place. I lost my Jack R Becky 22 days ago and have been on that site many times.Becky had diabetes also and kidney/liver failure. My days are up and down but faith and their wonderful support is the key..
    Hugs and praying for your strength and sound mind to make it through this loss for you best friend..www.petloss.com
    Mary

  125. Liz says:

    Two weeks ago I lost my so loved pharaoh hound, Pinnie. He was an insulin resistant diabetic. For the last couple of months, his Vet was trying to get his sugars under control but he died . I nursed him around the clock, his hips were weak since he was diagnosed with diabetes. I would massage his hips to relieve the pain. I would check his insulin levels many times a day and adjust accordingly but to no avail. On Friday night he wanted to go outside and when I went out to see if he was alright he had passed away. I am devastated, he was so important to me and after losing my mum 6 months ago, he was like my best friend. I cry, I blame, and miss him terribly. I feel like this is a horrible dream and I will wake and he will be here..does it get any better?

  126. Mary says:

    TELLA..www.petloss.com is also a wonderful place with tons of people who have lost their pet very recently and some long ago who are on a great deal of the time and will give you feedback with loads of wonderful heartfelt tips on how to cope. TELLA I placed my 14 yr old Jack R down on 1/14 and its still numbing..I take it day by day and I’m learning how to deal with this through a wonderful book When Your Pet Dies by Jamie Quackenbush MSW and Denise Graveline, get that if u can at the library..and for the next 3 days you are not going to want to eat or sleep so be kind to yourself..get some type of food and rest please..and visit today http://www.petloss.com and post what you wrote on here!..Its a wonderful site..Hugs and know you are not alone..Hugs and Gods love..Mary..

  127. Tella says:

    January 30, 2012 My dog was put to sleep Monday. I had her in my arms as he injected the medication. I thought I was prepared but I was not. She was more than a dog to me, she was my companion for 16 years. What a personality the little girl showed and now she is gone. I don’t want to go home to an empty house and I cry. Everyone will say “get another dog, I have one to give you”. I don’t want another dog, I want mine back. She was sick but I am sorry now that I didn’t let her die at home. I feel I killed my best friend. I am not a child. I have children and grandchildren but the loss of this dog is devasting for me!

  128. Mary Louise says:

    Oh Carol,

    What courage you had more than I..I let them take Becky my Jack R from my hands as I could not go in that room..BUT you must grieve so let it out when it comes..and it will on and off..Becky was my shadow , my best friend, the one thing that I could love and she would love me back un-conditionally like no other..I never thought I could live after she left this world..but you know what..a miracle..I have faith in Jesus Christ and he is the one who gave me Becky and she wanted Becky back..If you know the scriptures please go to Luke12:6 and Psalm 34:18..If you have to say them a million times when the flood of tears comes do so..He gave you Greta as a temporary enjoyment and now he will comfort you more than you can imagine now that she is with him..I placed Becky in heaven 1 week ago today…God Speed comfort to all of us who know this loss..
    Hugs to you Carol!..Keep me informed how you are doing!

  129. Carol says:

    Yesterday my little mini schnauzer Greta was laid to rest. I held her even after she had past. I can’t seeem to stop crying and wanting my little girl back. We have 3 other dogs but Greta was my little girl. She was so different. I feel like a part of me just died. I know it will take time. I wish the pain would go away. The last thing I told Greta before she past was that I love you, I’m so sorry and you come back to me. I never realized how painful it is loosing a pet. I love Greta so much and all I want is her back. I hope in time it will get easier.

  130. Rose says:

    Mary, it has been ten months for me, I still cry most days. I haven’t been able to even think about getting another dog. I loved Holly like a child, when I lost her I was devastated. She was a trooper up to the end also, the day we took her to put her down, I was explaining to her how much we loved her, and she couldn’t get better. She seemed to understand, and gave me a kiss on my nose like she always did. I wish less pain for you, but as for me I take it one day at a time.

  131. Mary says:

    Lance,

    It has only been three days for me but I will keep you in my prayers minute by minute. That is how I am taking each day so far.Just a huge hug and if you are a believing man give the pain to God when it comes flooding in.

    I will write more in the days to come as this pain is horrible this morning. Becky was a 14 year old Jack Russell..Her kidneys liver and other organs were just failing almost 100%..she was such a trooper up until they put her to sleep..

    Best,
    Mary

  132. RSG says:

    I wrote my 12-year-old Golden an obituary for my own blog when she clearly was fatally ill before she died and it helped me find the courage to make the decision. It reminded me of how faithful she had been and how faithful I must be to her, now that her dogness was likely gone. The blog post was so well received I revised it and published it on my newspaper’s pet blog. (I’m a journalist.)

    http://journalgazette.net/article/20120116/BLOGS22/120119592

  133. Lance says:

    We had to put our almost 12 year old Bulldog Sophie to sleep on Dec. 21st. I loved the dog very much but I am even surprised how much trouble I am still having with this. I don’t seem to be getting over it and I thought that I would. We are talking about another Bulldog puppy in the Spring which is helping some. It helps going out and researching breeders and things like that. How do I move on and get rid of the guilty felling of the apperance that we are just replacing Sophie. I know that no pup can replace Sophie. It would be unfair to expect a new pup to replace her.

  134. Mary says:

    To Karen who just wrote today,
    Prayers to you and your heart and loss. God is stepping in and giving such a peace I cannot believe it! I hope you know the joy of his love and gift.
    Best Always,
    Mary

  135. Karen says:

    My beautiful collie/german shepard mix love Beau had cancer of the skin for six months and went through two operations to try and cure him. His skin cancer was incurable and the cancer grew back within weeks. He still wanted to walk every day, and didn’t loose his love of food. But the type of tumor he had would bleed and ooze. On his last day the tumor split open and he was bleeding alot. I called the vet who agreed to come to the house because Beau is over 100 pounds. To the very end he was my wonderful protector putting himself between me and the vet. I miss him so much, and the house is so empty without his beautiful face, shinning eyes, and wagging tail. I could never replace him, he was my last dog and I will always love him.

  136. Mary says:

    I had to put down my 14 year old Jack Russell Becky who I adopted 8 years ago after a divorce.She was my best friend.It was only just this past SAT early morning. She was dealing with severe Kidney and Liver failure and starting throwing up continually and then had a convulsion at 2:30 SAT morning and I knew then it had to be done. I am experiencing severe grief and a huge sense of loss . I cannot stop crying. I keep wanting her to be next to me and talk to her. She knew everything I said. How do were cope?I have great faith and have been praying for courage and strength. Only people who have had a companion understand this agony of loss. We are burying Becky today in the back yard as she loved the outside.We are having a bonfire to soften the ground as I live in Wisconsin. I did have the honor of having Becky and she kept me going and for that she was and will always be, my angel.
    My entire body feels sick now but in time like all of you on here , God will heal us. I could not go in with her when they put her down,I wanted to remember holding her alive before they put her to sleep. Was that being a coward? Please write me back when you can anyone. I welcome any new friendships to help me through this empty time.
    Mary

  137. pallavi says:

    i lost my puppy last month on 19 dec.sh
    e was my darling.she use to wake me up in the morning.her name is snowy.we called her shona snoya .she was very naughty.we are not able to know the reasn of her death.love her yar.cant imagine my lyf widout her.miss u baby.
    may her soul resten peace.

  138. Lisa Fry says:

    This is to Steve Hoff and to all those others on here who were lucky enough to have felt what we are all feeling now. I had my 16 year old Labrador Jumble put to sleep on Wednesday at 9.45pm. I thought life was hard enough but it was a walk in the park compared to life without her. She is and will be still alive in me and all the lives she touched. I think of all the good times when I feel the pain, I’ve still got a long way to go but I was lucky enough to have had a good last experience with her and was feeding her bakers complete while the vet injuected her, she didn’t have a clue. I am one day I hope going to see her again until that day comes I am going to do my best to laugh and live life to the fullest. She taught me not to complain and above all smile, even if I didn’t want to. She and all the others on here and those reading this should….. have a big smile, even if you do this while crying as your beloved dog and I know my dog Jumble would have hated seeing you upset! They are all special and will never be forgotten.

  139. Michael Spinney says:

    I lost my best friend of almost 13 years last night; my best friend Rosie. She was the sweetest most loving english bulldog that was always with me, and defined unconditional love. She was sick, she was in pain, and I had to let her go. I wanted to leave this message as a tribute to my buddy. She’ll never leave my heart. Although it pains me to lose her, I only hope she is at peace and no longer in pain. A tribute to “my bud”

  140. Steve Hoff says:

    Bailey, our dear mini-schnauzer had to be put to sleep today. She was only 8 years and 2 months old.

    The sweetest little girl, I called her my Bailey Boo. I am heart broken and don’t know how I’ll ever recover.

    We love you Bailey.

  141. Schelbi says:

    I had my German Shepard named Duke. We had him since i was 2. When we would go outside, he would limp..ALOT. we diddnt have any money to bring him to the vet, so we did our best. Just two days ago my neighbor, a vet, had a good look at him. He said that we had to make a hard decision in about 6 months. He said that by his smell, he was having kidney failure. So just last night, Duke got out and he got hit by a car. My mom said that he killed himself to prevent us from making that hard decision. She had a dog that did that too. Even though he is gone, ill never forget him. My good friend said to me, “What doesnt kill you makes you stronger”.

  142. Gregory says:

    when i was 6 years old , my mom and step-dad went to buy a dog for me and my brother. i loved it so much… its still like my best friend ! he’s the most inportent thing in the world for me… but then… 2 weeks ago , he started to puke and stuff like that , she ated weird things..like mud and stones…then we wanted to go veterinarian my dog was with my grandma to for the moment (lives next to me) i knocked to the door i saw my dog she was SOOO happy to see me (i saw her 1 hower before that) she jumped but then my grandma opened the door , then i saw my dog falling , she felled on her side and started shaking.. i was freaking out , she stopped moving , my grandma said : shes dead , im sorry … that was the worst moment of my life , but then lorna stood up again , she wasnt dead , she had an attack , i took her in my hands and runned to my home and said we had to go to the veterinarian quickly !
    she had to stay there for a few days , they had to do an operation on her , to remove a little rock in her intestines there was a big chance she wasnt gonna make it… but i knew she was strong, and we had to wait 2 howers to know if she made it. i cried and cried and cried for those 2 howers , then they called i saw a smile on my moms face , i was like 😀 that was the best moment of my life. my dog made the operation. we jumped in the car cause the veterinarian closed at 19:00 it was 18 : 45
    we came , we had a little moment with her. she was pretty weak at that moment but that was totally normal they said : i was sooooo fucking happy. the next days she was better and better and better and better. but the only problem was she had to make red blood cells herself , that could take 2 months till she was the old again. then i had to go to my dad for a week. but then , an evening 3 januari in the evening my mom called to say that she began to puke again and was weak again , the next day she went to the veterinarian with her again , they said : its something a few dogs have , they refuse and break their own red blood cells , we have medication for that , but first , let her stay here tonight we are gonna check her. i was like ” ouffff” i made a friend sleep over. the next morning my dad wake me up early to say : mam is here. i run downstairs and the first thing i asked was : how is lorna?
    she said : sorry , she died last night… that was the worst moment ever… i tought : everything will be okay again :) but it didnt… my 9 year old best friend (jack russel) lorna died… the most inportent thing in my life , i am 13 but i will never forgat her :'( she’l be in my heart for ever , that was yesterday , now i cant laugh anymore….
    we had a chance to say goodbye to her body , i did it , but it was scary cause she was all hard , and cold… i cried and cried i can never forget her… Lorna 2/august/2003 /// 5/januari/2012

  143. k1mmmb0 says:

    It is with the heaviest heart I could ever imagine that I write about the passing of my beloved angel.
    Dinah came into my life in April of 2008. She was 6 weeks old and I had found her on Craigslist. She was a rescue. I almost didn’t get her because of a communication error with the teenager who had posted her. There were two pups, Dinah and her sister. They were the cutest little things ever. When I walked up to the girl, Dinah all but jumped out of her arms and into mine and wouldn’t stop licking me. I knew at that moment that she chose me and it was up to me to accept.
    I took her home and had a rough first couple of weeks, she had a ton of fleas and she was suffering from separation anxiety due to her age.
    At the time, I had just gotten married and David was not tolerable of Dinah and her night time crying at all. He would yell at her. I moved her playpen to my side of the bed and would sleep the wrong way so my arm could hang into her crib and comfort her when she got upset.
    A couple of months later, David decided he no longer wished to be married. It felt like a cruel joke. I was beyond unstable and went in the bathroom with the intention of taking enough pills that I’d go to bed and never wake up. And then, I heard my little love at the door. She was trying to get into the bathroom with me and was whining when she couldn’t push the door open. I got out of the shower, called my mom to come over and immediately made an appointment with a counselor. She saved my life, I had to live, I had to take care of her. I couldn’t leave her.
    So it was her and I, she was my partner in crime, my love, my support. I’d come home and want nothing more than to just cry my eyes out and she would let me, and nuzzle into me and just take it.
    She was amazing that way. She was my protector.
    I ended up dating Andy and he eventually moved in with his dog Precious. A large pit bull. I remember once Dinah and precious wanted the same toy and Precious growled at Dinah, and wouldn’t you know it, that 10 pound bag of bones bit that pit bull and from then on Dinah was the boss.
    When things went south with Andy and I, I knew I needed to get Dinah a companion. Two months later while I was starting to date Josh, I got Cody.
    Cody was a bigger pup and there were many times that Dinah had to put him in his place. She was very much the alpha of the house.
    Josh and I had our problems from the beginning and I stuck with it, up to the point when he hurt my angel by putting a binder clip on her ear.
    I’ve never wanted to punch someone in the face so hard as I did when I heard her cry.
    I kicked him out and it was the three of us, Dinah Cody and mommy.
    Two months later my friend Julie and her kids needed a place to stay while she was going through her divorce. I offered my place.
    To my surprise the dogs handled her crazy toddler well. There was only a couple of times that he got snapped at.
    Through it all, my angel was there.
    On New Years Eve 2001, somehow, she got out of the backyard. I was gone from 7:30pm to 1am. I went out in my PJ’s looking for her for over an hour with no luck. I tried to get a little sleep after flooding the internet and facebook with her description and photos.
    After searching for her all day on Sunday, the first, I got the call that broke my heart. Someone had seen a dog matching Dinah’s description on the side of the freeway onramp almost a mile away. I sent Julie and Jesse to go look and got the worst news of my life.
    They brought my angel home in a grey storage tote and I apologized countless times to her lifeless body. I pet her and tried to console her. Tried to console myself.
    She was taken from me so soon. I have so many what-if’s, so many shoulda woulda coulda’s. Enough to drive a person crazy but I know she loved me with all her being and that she knew she was so loved.
    She will continue to be my rock, my security blanket and my angel. I just have to remind myself that she’s in every sunrise and sunset. Every raindrop. Every flower and every summer breeze.
    I miss her so much and my heart hurts to no end but it will get better. It has to.
    I love her and just because she’s gone doesn’t mean I have to stop that love.

  144. Julianna says:

    I lost BJ four days after Christmas he was 15years old. He was a beagle mix. I had him since he was 5 weeks old. He was always with me. Through all the bad times in my life he was always there. I feel extremly guilty for having to make the choice of having to put him down but one morning I woke to him stumbling and unable to walk. I knew I had to make the decision for him. The first couple of days I just would break out into tears looking at where he would once lay. I know keep a picture of him in my room on the mirror and I talk to him in the morning. I truly miss him and wonder if I will ever heal from his loss. I have another dog a Husky(Snowball) I feel bad that I took his friend from him and wonder if I should get another dog. I know in my heart that Snowball needs me now and I don’t feel that another dog is the right choice for us yet. I would wonder everyday why was he taken from me. BJ was the one who made me feel safe he was always there waiting for me when I came home. The house does feel very empty without him. Talking about it does help but it is those quite times that I find myself missing him the most.

  145. David Ward says:

    Hi, My 16 year old Shi-tzu Katie dies due to verinary malpractice, she was happy and begging and playing like always, but she seemed to have dry heaves, and it seemed she was having trouble emptying her bladder. I took her to a a fat arrogant money hungry pig, and I went into that office and the waiting room was full, and I was so angry, I was filled with guilt, and I loved her so much. She was so sweet, and prorective of me, and her grandma (my mom) who I am taking care of with hepl from my sister. That “vet” did not do any tst, she just said she was in acute heart failure, and they gave her a shot of Lasix, and said she would live a long time if she was given diuretics the rest of her lif. Than that vet called me after my baby was back there on Wednesday 11/09/2011, and that woman said that katie needed a cariologist and that would cost $7000.00. I told her I did not care as long as she was not in pain. When I called that clinic they told me they do not charge $7000.00 for anything, and she said she has been there for years. They told me to take her to a smaller hospital, and that dr did blood test, and examined her good, and he said to call Thursday night, 11/10/2011. HE said she was respnoding well to the the drus, and she was pered up, but she was still a sick girl, and he said to call at 10:00 am on Friday 11/11, and he was examining her and she died in his arms. I never had any idea that I was killing her giving her meds that just made her worse. I have a 8 year old Shi-Tzu, and he was always playful, now he has no urge to play with his toys, and I got another Shi-Tzu, and they will play, but my boy Bart is not himself. Is there a anti depressant that the vet could give him. HE is heavy, but he can jump on the high bed in our house, and he will play with his new brother Syd who is a beautiful little man. I had a 14 year old when I brought my baby girl home, and when he died, she was not depressed like Bart is. I got Bart abot 2 weeks after the boy I loved more than anything. I had a disableling disease, I had to go on social security, and if we took a trip, my dogs went, that is the way it has been for 30 plus years. I need advice on what I should about Bart. HE gets active, for a whele when he and Syd play, and he will do like dogs do, and he will run from one end to the house to the other. I just cannot beleive that Katie was telling me she wanted a treat Tuesday, she would growl and I would say what you want baby, and I would say tell me, then I would say show me what you want, and she would go straight to the refidgerator. I always buy $.99 cent a pack salami, and on their birthday everyone gets a steak. I do not have any family near by, and I am sick, and my mom is 81, and she has had 4 or 5 surgeries for colon cancer. I had to stay on my rv near the hospital my mom was being treated at is 135 miles away, and they went with me, and if a storm came up I would drive 10 minutes back to the rv park to hold Katie and Bart, they are terrified of thunder.
    I just need advice on what to do with Bart. He will grieve himself to death I am afraid.
    I hope you or someone who reads this will be able to tell me hat I should do.
    Thanks, and God Bless
    Dave

  146. Ann says:

    Yesterday we had to put our beautiful friend (More like our child) down.
    Gypsie was the most beautiful little minature foxie who gave us so much love and joy. The emptyness of our home and our hearts are just so overwelming that you feel you just cant’t stand the pain. She won everyones heart and her little tail never stoped wagging.She was our constant companion and our joy. You will live in or hearts forever

  147. kayla says:

    Spikey was an awesome dog. He was loyal and friendly and loved everyone around him. Unfortunately, he decided to have an adventure on his own and was hit by a car along the way :[
    All of us were crying because he was so young and what happened to him was tragic. We drove straight to the cementery and buried his body.
    R.I.P Spikey.
    We will love you forever.

  148. josh says:

    my dog was brlutly murrerd by 2 teenaged boys and i keep haering him everywher i dont know what to do and i really eally misssed him and the sad thing is he was born on my b-day

  149. JAZZY says:

    About 4 days ago my Rottie died she was 1 Ina half yrs old she ment everything to us we got a call that she just DROPED dead after a walk she was heathy we always took good care of her spoiled her made sure she ate made sure she always had fresh water it sucks bcause we just don’t know how she died I feel all u guys pain she was like our baby my daugther loved her she always made her laugh she stood by my daugther snice day one always protected she was such a lovable cuddly dog always happy we just so hurt we haven’t stop crying or been able to sleep or eat the pain is horrible I just wish I had better answers :'( we love u and miss u sooooo much Mia !!!!! <3

  150. Micaela says:

    Last night our 3. 5 month old pug drowned in our pool. How he got through the fencing is unknow. It breaks my heart that he got into the pool area and none of us knew where he was for about 15 minutes. All I can think of is how we should have done something to save him. Give him CPR or something but we were in such shock that nobody could move. Having to tell our 4 kids was horrible. I feel like his death was somehow my fault. We love and miss you Moe.

  151. Kulwant Sarwara says:

    SCCOBY…….We all are crying and its not easy to miss you my dear,you leave us alone ,in the morning we all go to your room to see you, but we found you leave us ………………it terrible,Its our pray that God give you peace……Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole….Miss u lot Scooby……

  152. Tammy says:

    My dog Molly a gentle and loyal half shih tzu was hit by a car on yesterday, I feel so much grief and pai, and my family seems not to understand at all. She was just like my child to me, I can’t stop crying and it hurts so bad. I love her and will miss her forver.

  153. Raj says:

    rocky my dog got hit by a car yesterday, he was internally bleeding for 5-7 hours then the vets said at 2am in the morning that he is suffering too much pain and lost too much blood so he needs to be put down, :(:( it broke my heart, i saw it happen in front of me, i didnt know it was the last time i was going to see him(i love him loads) r.i.p rocky..

    i cannot stop thing im crying as we speak,, i cannot get over it i watched it happen and i was with him until the last few hours before he was put down my heart is hurting
    the car hit him at 40-50mph and he got dragged accors he screamed and cried
    screamed and cried………..i can hear it now
    it is mentallly disturbing i willl NEVER FORGET, EVERYTIIME i see another dog it kills me to look, it really does
    he looked at me before he went in pain he looked right into my eyes it hurt me it really did
    he was in sososos much pain i couldnt handle it my self, i can feel the pain in my heart and my whole entire body Still pretend he is sitting with me at odd times, he was always ther for me when i had no one to speak to and when i was hurt he would always listen to me and love me i couldnt ask for anymore, in some ways he was better than some of my family members.

  154. arlene says:

    My little cockapoo, Biff, was killed by 2 unleashed rottweilers on my street. We were returning home on Oct. 8 after a walk on a beautiful day. The rottweilers came out of nowhere, tossed him in the air and by
    the time the owners pulled their dogs off him he was gone. I am so devastated and don’t think I’ll ever feel happy again. He was such a joy to me and we did almost everything together. I wonder how I’l get through each day, just missing him so much. He was only 7 yrs. old and acted like a puppy. The sudden loss of him is terrible.

  155. stephanie says:

    5 days ago, my 15 year old dog died.
    I miss him very much, very deeply… He was a real gentleman

  156. Rose says:

    It has been eight months since my beloved dachshund was put down. She was fourteen. During a routine exam my vet found breast cancer. I opted to have her operated on with the vets reassurance she would be able to withstand the surgery. She came through the surgery, but was in so much pain from it the night we brought her home, I have felt guilty ever since for having it done. Especially since she had to be put down anyway four months later. I just can’t get over her loss, I try but I cry so much. My family doesn’t know I feel this bad. I have her ashes and made a memorial for her in my house, but miss her every day. I will love and miss her as long as I live.

  157. Lizzy says:

    Like everyone else feels, it is like a bad nightmare that you hope that your best friend will wake you up from. But when you cry you realize it’s real. I don’t wanna believe it’s real. But it is and I have to.

  158. Lizzy says:

    Yesterday, I had to put down my 14 year old gold retriever sweetheart, Dakotah. We knew it was soon to be his time, but not on a random day. We found his fatty tumor that was on the side of his body (we thought it was harmless because it wasn’t touching anything and it was growing out not in) was traveling up his blood stream and eventually got into his brain giving him seizures. Surgery wouldn’t work because he would never wake up at his age and letting him suffer is cruel, mean, and just down right wrong. Putting him down with a few goodbyes and kisses was the way to go and I still miss him dearly. I miss waking up and having him there on the couch waiting for me to feed him. I miss him snoring. I want my baby, Cody, puppy dawg, Tatalo, Milk Bone master, Your Highness, Dakotah back. I miss you!! I hope you up there chasing rabbits and gazing in the flowers like you used to… you were such a damn good dog.

  159. D. Sauer says:

    It has been 30 hours, and my best Bud Justus, is gone. I will type a Little more, as I would like to tell anyone that will read this, of what kind of dog Justus was. He was a chock let Lab, I got Justie when he was 49 days old, exactly. We got Justus, and at the same time helped a friend raise his baby after the mom left, The baby is now 13, and my ole Bud Justus left me today. I made the right decision, 12, health failing, but not to the point of being in pain. My vet arrived, I was sobbing, I got Jistus into my office, he layed down, the vet ended up giving him 3 shots to relax him, and put him into a light sleep… I hugged Justus, and told him how much I loved him as the vet administered the last shot, Justus, had another breath or two, and that was it. my absolute best friend of 12 years, was now gone. Oh My God, the pain is so raw, I miss him so much, I feel so helpless, the house seems so empty, i am just lost. I do know that time does heal most wounds, and I will heal too. I will talk to my dogs, continue to let them know how much I miss them. And I’ll tell you, I pray, that when I kick it, I hope I awake with 3 chock let dogs are licking my face.

  160. D. Sauer says:

    I am 22 hours from putting my very best buddy Justus down. I’ve been blessed to have his great grandpa and so on down to Justus. I’m 65 and don’t relish holding another dog, while he is put to sleep. But, I will, as that is the one thing I can give back to my best Bud, to be there in his moments. I always feel I’m terribly weak in moments, and tonight, feel so weak, sick, sobbing, and I have 21 hours and 47 minutes.

  161. Kathryn says:

    Oh Paul, just like it did when I read Joanna’s post, my heart dropped when I read your post just now. I’m beyond sorry. You do everything you can for your pet, you take the right precautions, you love them unconditionally, and still, tragedy can strike in a minute.
    Please accept my heartfelt condolences…

  162. Paul says:

    Joanna, our 7 year old Malitpoo princess, Niki, was taken the same way, on the same day as your Dana. It is like a bad nightmare. I keep thinking, if I had only not had the car washed today, she would still be alive, or if I left her at home, she’d still be there to greet my wife and I today. We went to our local car wash as always. She knew the routine, first we paid, and then we went for a walk. As we came out the office door, I turned around from a distraction. Then I heard a series of gasps, and a crunch. Niki had been run over by a car, where they reposition the cars after coming out of the wash. She was on my leash when this happend. I was in shock, and in disbelief. We brought her to the nearby emergency clinic, but there was nothing they could do, and I knew it by look of her eyes. She was killed instantly. Niki was similar to Dana in personality. Very friendly, never growled, and very regal looking. She would say hi to everyone, and loved older folks. We had hoped to grow old with one another, but she left us too early. I well up in tears everytime I think about her. I sure hope this pain turns into fond memories. Little Nik will live in our hearts forever.

  163. Kathryn says:

    Joanna,
    You must be in a world of hurt right now and I so much sympathize with your loss of Dana. It’s difficult enough to lose a much loved pet through aging or illness. But to lose one unexpectedly must be overwhelmingly sad.
    Just know that, while you don’t think so right now, the pain of your grief will lessen. It may take months, or even years, but it will. One day you will think of Dana and realize that you are smiling over her memory rather than crying. You’ll remember all of the good times and in her own way, she’ll let you know that she’s with you. And you with her.

  164. Joanna Lane says:

    Yesterday afternoon my maltipoo Dana Got hit by a car. I was on the phone with my brother and could hear her crying. I rushed home and rushed her to the vet and she died an hour later from the trauma. We are all devistated. I feel like I’m having a horrible nightmare I can not wake from. I’m espeshially worried for my mother. Dana was my mom’s compainon. It was what kept her going. Dana was such a special girl. Everybody loved her. Stranger’s loved her within moments. She went to elderly homes and gave warmth to the Seinors and it was just so heart warming. She had so many last names… everyone wanted part in owning her!! I miss my little friend more than anything in the whole world and the sadness and sorrow is so deep words can not express. I love you my little baby doggy, mama’s dog, deddle, doody, deet deet, Dana Matteson, Britton, Shivera, Brady, Webb, Verduzco, Lane. You will live on in our hearts forever.

  165. kristy says:

    My lucy was a greatdane puppy age 6 months. i have to put her to sleep because of liver failure. Its only been 3 months with her yet i love her so deeply that it hurts me so much to let her go. i couldnt eat, sleep or function. all i could think of what could i have done to prevent it. maybe im such a bad owner. i am so sorry lucy for being such a bad owner. i tried my best but its not good enough. im so sorry.

  166. kevin lapage says:

    dear bobs mom,sorry to hear about your family member bob,we too put our beloved hank to rest almost 4 weeks ago and tanya and i still miss him so and cry daily,it is getting a bit better and farther between weeping outbreaks,we brought a new doxy puppy in our lives,not to replace hank but to share the home we have had for the past 26 years,not hearing the pat of paws on the carpet,walking in the warm and cool breeze of the afternoon just was making us even worse,and just plain helping us heal from the loss for we loved our doxy so! hank did everything with us,trips to pikes peak,swimming in rainbo lake,walking in the river shallows and did this yearly in colorado,listening and laughing when he ate a potato chip are just afew of the memories,i could go on ,remember your friend for life ,he is waiting and playing painlessly at the rainbow bridge,i cant wait to see my pets when i pass,i look forward to hearing maxs,rusty,lady bugs and hanks barks again,still broken hearted but healing in nebraska. once again sorry,kevin and tanya lapage

  167. Bob's Mom says:

    Two days ago was one of the hardest days of my life.
    My husband and I had to put my beloved Briard, Bob, down.
    He would have been 11 years old in December.
    We struggled for 3 years with arthritis and pain meds and diet and finally nothing worked anymore, especially his legs.
    He was the center of our household (and our bed).
    The house seems so empty now.
    What I have learned in the last two days is don’t feel quilty about feeling so sad. Cry, cry and then cry some more.
    I know some people will think “it was just a dog” but to us he was a family member. You cant control what your heart loves and grieves for.
    As much as it hurts, I wouldn’t trade the pain for one day that I spent with him.
    I’m praying that time heals all wounds because right now my heart just aches.
    I beleive he is in a better, pain free place with lots of liver sausage, egg yolks, chasing rabbits with a dollie in his mouth.

  168. Wendy says:

    To DJP: I an relate TOTALLY to your pain and grief,your dog died about 24 hrs before my beautiful 4 lb Chihuahua,Cabo,he did the very SAME thing,and I thought the identical thing as you,you are not alone. Like you, my baby was killed in front of me. Ironically, he was only three and a half,not much older than your dog. I am so sorry for your loss. Its so bad I am going to move from this place…my apt was our home for one year,I cant take living here any more..May our babys rest in peace,we will see them again..

  169. Jorge says:

    I had to put my bullmastiff to sleep 2 weeks ago after losing his battle with cancer.I feel like I’ve lost my best friend.
    I’ve had dogs as a kid, but never really had to to cope with the loss because we never really kept them that long.
    But I raised my dog from a pup,(2 months). He was with me through the good times and the bad, but with him they were all good and now he’s gone. I thought I was going to die when the vet told me it was cancer, but I have come to accept his loss. He’s not suffering anymore and is cancer free in doggy heaven, but even though he is gone now he will always be there to greet me when I come in the door, looking for a treat, or just to give me a kiss.
    I miss my boy and always will,
    He’s a good boy,
    Love you,Puppy(Zeke)

  170. Lisa M says:

    I have to put my best friend to sleep today. I keep wondering if I am doing the right thing…My little 17 yr. old Westie Hughy is now paralyzed in both fore and hind limbs and he is not peeing on his own, I look at him and know I am being selfish keeping him going hoping for a miracle. I know he needs to be let go, and so today is the day I let go. My eyes are so puffy from crying I can barely type this. I will forever be changed by this special friend who has always been there for me. I feel sick to my stomach, knowing its THE DAY. I hope all of you who have gone down this awful road already are finding some peace now. I think I will grieve in my heart for a long time.

  171. Grant says:

    My father bought my stepmom a beautiful golden retriever for Christmas of 1998. I would usually walk him by the time got home from work and he loved getting out meeting new people and their dogs. My stepmother named him Beau. Sadly Beau started developing arthritis in his hips and couldn’t get around the house well as he used to. Stopped eating and wasn’t interested taking long walks again. My best friend and little brother Beau had to be euthanized this past Saturday, it would’ve been his 13th bday on October 28th. I just stayed with Beau and my dad in the vet room until my dog passed away peacefully, he looked so beautiful and wanted to say my last goodbye to my best and loyal companion ever. It’s been difficult for me trying to look for a corner at work away from people so could have a good cry. It was great having him around and seeing him growing up from a puppy to a full sized beautiful dog. I sure hope that the rainbow bridge exists, because I couldn’t imagine the afterlife without my best buddy. I’d like to make a contribution to ASPCA or plant a tree in honor of him for his bday. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. Love you and miss you Beau

  172. Carol Setlifffe says:

    MrB,I too know what you are going through. I had to have my beautiful 13 yr. old Molly, a yellow lab put down on September 16th, she had a stroke, it’s only been 4 weeks, and I still want to go over to where she lay and love on her. I’m not ready yet to get another dog, I guess it’s each individual’s decision, but each of us, knows what’s best, and right now, I’m not ready, my heart still belongs to Molly. Last night my husband and I watched a program on puppies, from birth until they were 8 weeks old, and one breed they talked about was a Labrador Retriever. They were the cutest little puppies, if I’d been there, believe me, I’d been in the floor with all those little cuties. I will probably get another Lab when it’s time. Just wanted you to know, you’re not alone in your grief. Like I told my husband, why can’t our dogs live longer than they do. I’ve had dogs all my life, so I’m sure I won’t be able to live without another one, but just not right now. I pray that your grief will get easier, all I know is, Molly was loved, cared for, everyone in my family loved her, as well as our neighborhood, when I walked her, someone always came out to pet her, and she being the lady she was, she returned the love.

  173. MrB says:

    Thank you Kevin, I have been considering another pet I just don’t know if I’m ready yet, thank you for your reply though it means a lot to me.

  174. kevin lapage says:

    mr.b,we are so sorry to hear about your beloved sunny,it has been three weeks today that we had our best freind hanky put to rest,hank was with us only 5 1/2 years and we miss him so very much and know the heartache you are going through,we struggled to with a quality of life decision and knew that subjecting our hank through more pain would be far more devasting to us and more to him,its hard to make that decision i know,but being a responsible pet owner is making the right choices for them not us,we elected to get another pet in honor of hank for we felt hank would want us to share the love and home which we gave him,and the love is returned many times over from our new chapter to our lives,it was hard at first bit time is healing our pain and sorrow for hank,”healer” will never replace hank but he does help us recover ,so think about another relayionship with a pet,its like a newborn in our house and we are enjoying him ,also hank i beleive is helping us daily,again as laurie put it to us,acepting is the cure ,sunny is in your heart forever,still missing hank in nebraska kevin and tanya lapage

  175. MrB says:

    My dog was a golden lab, I got her as a birthday present when I was 11, she passed away about a month after my 21st birthday. She was 13 years old and I noticed she had lost a ton of weight, when I took her to the vet it turned out it was diabetes. My family sat me down and discussed the treatment that she would need, we could not manage a diabetic pet both financially, and with the strict insulin injections. We had her put down, While the vet says that she was so far along in the diabetes the Treatment probably wouldn’t have helped anyways, I still doubt sometimes if I made the right decision.

    She was my whole world, she slept in my bed every night, waited for my arrival eagerly everyday when I was returning from work or school. I missed her so much everytime I went out of town for a trip or whatever. She was very much my pet and was most attached to me. The day we had to have her put down, I feel, was the day I lost my baby. I’m a grown man and its been almost 4 months and the pain still hasn’t gone away. I don’t know what to do, I miss my pet so much its killing me inside.

    I love you Sunny, more than you were probably ever capable of knowing.
    Rest in peace.

  176. DJ P says:

    My dog jaxx was only 2 years old and she was a golden lab mix and last night around 8:00 she ran out of the house and while i was chasing her a car came,and while it was about to past my dog, the dog just ran right into the wheel of the car, And she had brain damage and died on the way to the vet. It seemed like a force came out of no where that pushed my dog right into the car?! It had to be one of the worst moments in my Life.

  177. Jannelle says:

    I just found this site maybe God led me to it. In about an hour I’m putting my 14mo old Jett to sleep. I can honestly say he is the best dog I have ever had. I am so devestated he is a poodle mix the cutest, I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. I have been an emotional wreck for 8 days now hoping he would pull through. He has kidney failure, the hardest thing is not knowing what caused it. He’s in an indoor dog and it was so sudden. I have blamed myself for this, my boyfriend got super attached to him this summer, he was against me bringing a dog home, but I did and he was my constant companion. This is the by far the hardest thing I have to do.

  178. Michelle says:

    gjb, I am so sorry to hear about your Siberian Husky. I understand how you are feeling. A week ago today we put our 13 1/2 Yellow Lab McKinley down and I never cried so much in my life. I was so sad, lost and couldn’t and didn’t want to do anything for three days. I miss him so much and it hurts a lot not having him here with us. I do know that we did the right thing and he is in doggy heaven having a blast with all the other dogs! He had a gift. McKinley loved everyone and had such a happy go lucky attitude. I am now starting to heal and remember all the happy times we had with him. I still cry everyday, but it does get better. My heart goes out to you. Your Husky loved you so much!!!

  179. kevin lapage says:

    james,i am so sorry to hear about otis,it is a very strong bond that is hard to let go,our dog hank loved to go for rides! everytime i fired up the vw camper he would bark endlessly til we gave him a ride,it is so hard to go on ,cherish the memories and i know that both of our guys are playing and waiting patiently for us to someday meet them at the rainbow bridge,still lost without my buddy in nebraska,kevin

  180. James says:

    I got my Black lab Otis 7 years ago from a shelter ,well yesterday i had to put him down,I loved him so much
    and everyone that met him loved him He always loved ridin in my truck ,always by my side,I hurt so bad ,I feel sick,This is so hard…..R.I.P. Otis ….LOVE YOU _MISS YOU

  181. tracey bavesrstock says:

    my heart goes out to all of you!! my border collie passed away unexpectedly on 3rd october she would of been 13 on january 30th she suddenly started panting hard and the vet said keep an eye on her we had fan near her all nite to keep her cool,but she had gone in the night ,13 yrs nearly i am in such a state i cant stop crying im gutted,she laid down in front of my computor were she would lay near my feet every nite i feel so lost now i cant stop thinking of her i just want her back my heart hurts so much we lit a candle in the garden on her grave it has been burning since monday and has just gone out ,i feel for all of you at this sad time rip my lady xx

  182. gjb says:

    I just had to put my 13 year old siberian husky down a few hours ago. i have never felt so sad in my entire life and cannot stop crying, although i am glad i was there for her in her last moments. She had a great life and was loved deeply.

  183. Michelle says:

    Kevin and Tanya, thank you so much for your kind caring words. We are so sorry about Hank. We feel for you and for every owner who has lost their beloved pet. Healer will love you unconditionally just like Hank and we pray we can recover and someday get a healer again. We do have another lab named Aspen who is going on 12. She’s also so very dear to us and she needs our love. She’s an amazing dog. Awesome retriever! Right now she seems ok, but I’m sure she misses her brother. :-( McKinley had the biggest heart and loved life and everyone he was around. We will never forget that. All our sympathy, Jim and Michelle from CT

  184. kevin lapage says:

    michelle,sorry to hear about mckinley,your dog lived a good life and loved and gave love freely,our doxy hank provided the same ,we loved this guy so much it was hard to make the choice we did.hank was only 5 1/2 yrs,we are still crying daily and as you with your pet trying to heal is the hardest part,not having that bark,wag of the tail,the kissys,begging,chasing rabbits or squirrels up trees,long walks ect. is so heartbreaking you wonder if you will ever recover,yesterday we brought home “healer” a new chapter in our lives,even though hank has not fully been healed in our hearts we felt in hanks honor we should give and receive love as hank taught us for the 5 1/2 years we enjoyed him,i know how you feel ,our decision was the hardest thing in our life time but as for us be assured we all make the best ,responsible ,caring choices we can . still mourning our pet and yours kevin and tanya lost hearts in nebraska

  185. Michelle says:

    On Thursday 9/29/11 we had to put our 13 1/2 year old Yellow Lab McKinley down. It was the one of the saddest days of our lives and we hurt so much. I can’t stop crying. He was no longer able to get up on his own, had bowel incontinence and couldn’t walk very well. The vet said that you may feel some relief and that it is ok. We don’t feel relief at all. We feel numb and in pain. He was such a gorgeous happy lab and loved everyone. He did get into trouble many times because he loved food and the stories are crazy but we could never get mad at him. He just wagged his tail, gave us a smile or lick on the face and went on with his day. He was our first baby before our kids and we wish he could still be with us. We know we made the right decision for him and pray he’s at peace in doggy heaven. We love you so much McKinley and will miss you forever! RIP Woofer…our Buddy

  186. Thank you for sharing your memories and stories of your dogs. May your dogs live on forever in your hearts, in Doggy Heaven, and in the minds of the people who visit this blog.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  187. Carol Setlifffe says:

    My sweet Molly, a beautiful yellow Labrador Retriever, left a large hole in my heart. She had arthritis for sometime, and I was giving her the medicines she needed, but that sad morning of September 16th, 2011, I realized something was wrong. She panted so hard, like she had been running, and something told me, that would be my last day with her. She was 13 yrs. and 4 mos. old. Molly suffered a stroke, which I didn’t see coming, but should have known, because she lost her hearing several weeks earlier, and didn’t act like herself at times. She was such a joy to be with, gave so much love. My husband and my dad are also devastated as I am. She helped my husband in healing from his open heart surgery, and also, helped my father, when my mother passed away. I love her so much. Her ashes are in the area where her kennel was, she lived her kennel, I have a picture of her beside the urn and her choke chain around her urn of sweet ashes. She’s in heaven, I’m sure, and one day, I will see her again. Thanks for letting me vent, it’s only been eleven days.

  188. davina arazm says:

    i know the pain everyone is going through as we lost our beloved dog bullit to-day. he was our world he was 11 years old . he was running around playing last week he went off his food for about 2 days we took him to the vet thursday and died monday at 11 0clock he was diabetic had cushion disease and pancritis and we didnt even know we also are devastated as he was like our little boy rip bullit. mum and dad

  189. KJ says:

    It’s been a little over a week since our beloved Agatha passed. Although the pain isn’t as crushing, it’s still there. Little bit by little bit, we focus on the years of joyful events and not the final days of her passing. You will keep moving forward, albeit with frequent glances behind, and begin to smile at the times your Shane made you happy. I heard a beautiful quote on NPR the other day. It brought me to tears again, but then I smiled and nodded my head. “Dogs show us the love we wish we could show other people.” Be gentle with yourself.
    :) KJ

  190. Kate says:

    I held the life of my best friend in both my hands
    and looked into his eyes and prayed he’d understand
    If you love something, you’re meant ot set them free
    but my heart broke as he passed away from me.

    When you four legged best friend has to be put down…it’s hard to understand or think you’re doing the right thing…but it’s worse for us really.
    k

  191. Erica says:

    I lost my lovely Shane today. he was 10 years and 2 months. He started looking sickly on Thursday and now on Saturday we had to let him go. I miss him so much – my heart is breaking. He was the most wonderful gentle, kind,loving German Shepard dog and I know he is happy and in a better place – but I am sad. I know he loved us, I love him so much.

  192. Thank you for sharing your stories here. I’m so sorry that your dogs aren’t here on earth with you anymore…and I believe they ARE in Heaven, watching you in between bouts of ball chasing and dog-dog play!

    My dog is only 1 and 1/2 years old, and I cherish every second of her life. Your stories make me realize how precious life is, and I’m so grateful for that.

    May your hearts heal, and you remember your dogs with peace, joy, and happiness. And memories of wagging tails.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  193. kathryn says:

    It’s hard to put it all into words. Our beloved dog, Agatha, died suddenly around 4 this morning. Two days ago she was running and playing with her sister in the sun. Yesterday, she wouldn’t eat and stayed in her box. Later in the afternoon, my husband found her curled up in the backyard trees. He brought her up to the porch where she drank some water and laid down on her blanket. That evening, she again wouldn’t eat and we planned on taking her to the vet the next morning (today). My husband got up to check on her and she had passed away. We are horribly devastated.

    Agatha was an Addison’s dog. A disease of malfunctioning adrenal glands, we almost lost her around Christmas to it until the vet finally diagnosed and prescribed treatment (shots and hormone pills). After almost two weeks of slowly dying, she bounced back to her old self again had had no problems for 8 months. The suddenness of this has us utterly confused and feeling guilty.

    Agatha and her sister, Shadow, were left on our doorstep at just 6-8 weeks old. We don’t know if a stranger or the momma dog stuck them under a porch bench in 20-degree weather on February 5th five years ago. I had gone out with a cup of coffee to ‘welcome the day’ and found them. I still remember wrapping them up in blankets, putting them in a box, and running upstairs to tell my husband, “We have puppies!!” His first words were “Don’t get attached”. He was right, of course. After all, they might have belonged to a neighbor. After a couple weeks of posting flyers and leaving word at local vets and pet supply stores, we officially adopted and named them. We had been talking about getting another dog for several years after our chocolate lab passed away at the age of 14. God finally said ‘enough’ and sent us two orphans.

    I sit here now with Shadow after getting a substitute teacher for my students and talking with the vet over the phone, feeling numb. After listening to my description of symptoms and having me check her nose and mouth for aspirated blood (thankfully, none), he decided it was an acute Addison’s crisis leading to abrupt organ failure. No need to draw fluids, or check for poisons or internal bleeding. It all seems so unreal. As I was walking back from where we had placed her body in the truck (we’ll bury her back in the woods where she loved to run and chase squirrels), I swear I could feel her running around next me. I could almost see her silly, grinning face as she raced circles around me and nipped at her sister’s ankles. Her tail would wag so hard her whole body shook. I have read all the tender, wonderful stories above and know the pain will be replaced by beautiful memories. I am grateful for all the dog lovers out there that I know are saying a prayer for us right now. I believe there are dogs in heaven. God loves to see a wagging tail too.

  194. Jan says:

    I lost my dachsie, Max, on Tuesday just gone. I am absolutely devastated and cannot believe how upset I am.
    He had been my companion and friend for almost 9 years and we had such a unique bond. He hadn’t been well for some time due to Cushings disease and he also lost his eyesight. But that didn’t stop him being who he was. Then he started being sick and off his food. My husband took him to the vet for me last Friday as I was at work and I found out that his kidneys were failing. Friday was the last time I saw him as he fell asleep on his own accord on Tuesday morning. I feel terrible. I could’ve seen him on Saturday but I didn’t want to get him stressed when I would’ve had to have left him. I feel so guilty. I had made the decision to bring him home or at least see him on that Tuesday but I was too late. I never even got to say goodbye. God, I miss him so much, I can’t believe how much this hurts and I berate myself for not being there for him. All I can do is think that I tried my best for him. I loved him with all my heart and would anything for one more cuddle or one more day with him. I just keep telling myself that he is waiting for me by the Rainbow Bridge, he can see again and is full of health and happiness. RIP Maximus, you will always be in my heart xxx

  195. varda says:

    I still have my Chikoo’s (Labrador) things with me. I have kept his comb which has still got his hair on it in a jar. I can’t look at his pictures, I feel if I do my heart will explode. He was the one who used to make maximum noise when much car used to pull up on the drive way. I have 3 more German shepards who are the love of my life but even together they are quite as against him making the noise. I had to euthanize him beacuae of his suffering. But he took a chunk of my heart with him. He was in my arms in the last moments, looking at me as if asking me what was I doing, had I lost my mind or what. I miss him too much. O am glad I found this place here where I could share my feelings where others felt same.

  196. varda says:

    I had a Labrador. He died on 21 June 2011. I had to go in for euthenesia. He had oral cancer. He was 12. I had him in my lap in the last moments and my hand was near his heart. I felt his distinct last three heart beats before it went quite forever. Still I grieve for him. Whenever I think about heart or heartbeat, I start crying. I do not know how I will ever be over him. I have three German sheperds also. I love them. I have started showing them more love. I am sure they miss him too. But the void left by h is too deep and dark to fill. When I remember his habbits, it makes me laugh and then I start crying again. I miss him too much.

  197. Kay says:

    RIP to all the dogs :(
    My baby dog was a Jack Russell called Lten. My parents got him about a year before they had me. He was my best friend growing up and i have so much love for him. He was sadly put down a month and a day ago. My heart still akes in pain. He was a lovely dog and i will miss him so much. He was like a sibling to me and was with me all through my childhood and all my memories. I’m now fifteen and my father doesn’t want another dog or animal. It breaks my heart. I wish Lten could still be with me now but sadly he’s not :( I just feel so lonely and empty inside without him.
    i love you so much Lten <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 now and forever!!

  198. Elizabeth Stone says:

    I am 12 years old. And i am very afraid to loose my sick dog Oscar. I love him so much. Hes like my son.. if i wasn’t so young.

  199. Caroline says:

    We have just lost our beloved Jack yesterday. We rescuded him just over 7 years ago and he has been our best friend. So loyal, so loving. He started sicking up 2 weeks ago and after 4 days antibiotics didnt work, he just got worse. The vet then scanned him and we had a devestaing blow to find he had adrenal gland tumor growing large. Well the sickness got worse he got so weaker and in a last ditch attempt to find what was causing this, an endoscopy was performed yesterday. The vet phoned when he was still under with another shocking blow.They had found a uick growing tumour in his tummy under the diaphram. It would be a major op for any dog and my Jack was 16. He was suffering so bad and nful decision there and then not to wake him up. I feel so hurt and bad, I never got to say goodbye. He relied on me, loved me and trusted me. All I see is his beautiful eyes looking to me to help him. The pain is immense and life seems so surreal. Its awful alone without him but reading the above stories makes me feel comforted that Im not alone in my grief. The worst part of all this is the knowing I will never ever have a chance to kiss him or hug him again and let him know it will be alright. The pain for me is worse that human loss.

  200. Joanne says:

    Hi I only had my little baby boy foe 7 months I rescued him after he had a really bad life he was beaten and treat really bad I would never have a dog ever when I saw him on the picture I said I would have him for my little girl after a wk or so I knew he wad my new little baby boy he wad a tiny Yorkshire terrier I had to go back to the house where I got him from 3wks later and was so worried that he would want to go back there when we knocked on the door the woman who we rescued them from opened the door taz my baby boy growled and started to bark at her he did go to her when we sat down but as soon as we got up he ran as fast as he gud to the door he ad to have him put down I paid 600 to the vets to get him better it was his liver and kidneys I would have paid anything to have put him right I loved him so much but the vets advices me to do the right thing it was ten hardest decision I’ve ever had to make my life is so empty without him vie never stopped crying I miss him so much I’m heart broken and depressed and don’t know how lie ever get over Him I just want him back I can’t stop crying for him

  201. Dear SandwichSilencer,

    Thank you for sharing your story of finding that poor dead dog. I totally get it – why you can’t stop crying, and how devastated the owners must be at their missing dog. The poor dog. What a terrible way to go :-(

    My thoughts and prayers are with you – and everyone who is mourning their dog’s death. I dread the day, and try to cherish every moment of my dog’s life.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  202. SandwichSilencer says:

    I found a dead dog whilst walking mine. He was half stood up in mud over the other side of the river. My heart clenched when I had came to the realisation he’d either drowned or had been thrown off the bridge. Ever since then, I have not been able to sleep. I picture the same dog in my head everytime I lie down to try and sleep. I even made a name for him – ‘Lil G’ as he looked like a George to me. I have no idea why I cry so much over this dog – wether or not it is because I have one myself, and I love her to pieces or what… I did not do anythig. A storm brewed over, my parents told me the Rspca couldnt collect him due to safety reasons and his body would be washed away…forgotten. I remember seeing a collar on George, and I feel so sympathetic to the owner who has no idea his/her best friend has gone. R.I.P Lil G…I pray for you every night.

  203. Mairead says:

    My Pup of 9 mths old was run over by a car, devastated…car did not even stop, survived a day and thought he might make it but died on Tuesday. We have 3 other dogs but they are lost

  204. Vincent DeGennaro says:

    I rescued a pit bull at two months old, he was food aggressive and would have been put down but I worked with him and overcame the aggression. When he was five years old he was shot twice and I was told he wouldn’t make it so I asked the vet if I could see him and when he looked up and saw me he came back to life.
    From that day on we had a bond that couldn’t be broken, he went every where I went. At fifteen his back legs went out, he couldn’t get up to eat or drink or go to the bathroom. He weighed 56 pounds and I was out of shape and over weight so I was going to put him to sleep. When I put him on the table at the vet he looked up at me and speaking with his eyes said “what the heck are you doing” so I picked him up and ran out of the vets office.
    I made a special harness out of leather and lambs wool, feed him food and water in a special raised bed I made and would carry him up and out 4-5 times a day. Sometimes he had an accident in the bed or truck so I used large absorbing pads.
    It was a win win bond, he was happy and I was getting in shape. I lost sixty pounds and could bench my own weight. I would rub him down every night and he would lick my face like it was made out of chocolate.
    About two months ago he started losing the use of his front legs and his head would drop when walking him. Then he came down with diarrhea, I never got mad at him but I could see it was upsetting him because he knew it was wrong to go #2 in the bed.
    He wouldn’t lick my face anymore and slept allot. He still drank and ate well but the vet said that thats just survival instinct and even a sick dog would eat. He would cry to go out more often and some times late at night I lost my temper and would tell him to shut up and he would and just go to sleep, I felt so guilty for losing my cool. And the next morning I would wake to find he wet the bed. Again I would cradle him and say it was OK, wipe him down and change the sheets. I was told by family and friends and my vet that he was just not living a dogs life and that I was just keeping him around for me. So I finally brought him to the vet and while in the back of my truck on his bed in my arms they gave him a shot to put him to sleep and when he was sleeping they gave him another shot to stop his heart. I then brought him to AbbyGlen Pet Memorial where he would be cremated by himself so I could save his remains. The box say’s My Buddy ShadowMan 7/4/95 – 8/2/11 and sits next to my first pit bull Samson who died naturally from a heart attach.
    It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I cried more than when my Mother and Farther passed away and every morning I wake up it still hits me. I finally bought a book called ” Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates by Gary Kurz. And after reading it I can now at least make it thru the day. It’s a must read for anyone going thru the loss of a pet. Although it’s been three weeks since I put him down I still feel guilty that I yelled at him on those few nights towards the end and sometimes think maybe I should have waited to put him to sleep. Only 5% of me feels that way. DOG, Depend, On, God.

  205. Agatha says:

    I lost Cappie (dachie) yesterday, he was only 6 years old. I got home and found him dead already. For 6 years he had bad allergies and finally got better in Feb this year. I know its crazy, but the child in me hoped he would live forever, so I am devistated! My heart is broken, I cannot even give attention to my other dogs. But I found videos of him that I took 3 years ago, and it helps me to see him play in the fishpond and on the beach. I love him so much and will miss him forever!

  206. Angie says:

    Dear Laura —

    I can really relate to what you are going through. I lost my sweet Aggie girl (A Scottish Terrier) in much the same way last Tuesday. I considered her my child and it is just heart-wrenching. I too know the pain will subside but even though I have lost many people in my life, I have to admit that this loss is so different and so much more painful in many ways. She was my girl; just as it sounds like Emma was your girl. I know we have to keep moving on but I would give so much to turn back time to last Saturday and give her one more squeeze and look into her beautiful eyes and connect with her one more time. In Aggie’s case, her liver failed and it was quick. All within three days. Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you much peace…

  207. Robert Erard says:

    Losing a pet is alot like losing a part of your soul. The better part. I still get emotional when I visit our pet cemetery. It is sacred ground. Here rest Dog’s and Cat’s. All brought unconditional love, and joy to the human heart.

    Looking back in fondness, not sadness, is medicine for the spirit in accepting the absence of our precious friends. The void left by their passing is sometimes slow to heal.

    It was five years ago, I lost my last Collie. To this day, I would give anything to walk the trails once again with him by my side. Knowing this is impossible, I continue onward. A part of me missing a favorite link which provided much happiness, trust, and goodwill.

    Nevertheless, the time we had together was priceless. The trails we walked numerous, and rich in experiences. It is truly a gift to possess a pet, but we must remember, life is a balancing act. Measured out in methods we cannot completely understand.

    Cherish the memories, but try and not be sad. Time, and change are paramount.

  208. Laura says:

    I lost my little Emma to kidney failure….. I wold of given her my kidney. I adored her. She was fine and playing and than got sick. she was gone in two days. I was so not ready to loose her. She was my world. I felt like I gave birth to her… I am lost. I have been in pain for a month. I can’t look at pictures of her yet and I dream about her every night. I am a empty nester and she was what made living alone wonderful. I can’t replace her… but I am so lonely for her…. I don’t know what to do… I know time will heal this pain but I think this is the most pain I have ever felt in my life. does anybody understand it???

  209. Claire says:

    My 3 month old chihuaha got drowned in a bucket of water by my 3 year old son. I am devastated and slowly going into a phase of depression. I want to be angry at my son but know that I can’t as I know he thought he was just playing. Sometimes I wish to really hate my son, but obviously I can’t … I just miss my dog so much… the house feels so empty without him … he would come lick my hands to wake me up in the morning, and would fall asleep on me in the evening. We spent afternoons lazing on the sofa cuddling up… Now the tears and sadness won’t stop!!

  210. Jude says:

    It does feel somewhat better to read the stories of others in the same situation. My 11 year old cocker spaniel Champ passed away three days ago of kidney failure. Six months ago he had signs of kidney disease and had a week of ivs and really was better on a special diet until about a week ago when he quit eating and was vomiting. He also had a heart murmur and took medicine for that. He was my best buddy for all these years. I am divorced and my children are grown, so Champ and I did everything together. He went with me in the car to get cold drinks and he would get a glass of water. He made me laugh and I loved him so much and he loved me. I had the chance to say goodbye and tell him how much I loved him and will miss him, and then the vet put him to sleep. I am so sad and feel like my center has been lost I feel disoriented without him. Everything reminds me of him I have had and lost other dogs-it is always so incredibly painful. RIP my beloved Champ.

  211. Thank you so much for sharing your dog stories here. I see so much love, compassion, and tenderness here. It’s both heartbreaking and heartwarming!

    By sharing how your dogs lived and died, you’re helping other people who are grieving their own pet’s death. Hundreds of people read this article every day, and by sharing your story, you are helping them.

    And, you’re memorializing your beloved dogs. They’ll live forever in your hearts and souls – happy and healthy – and they’re living on right here.

    Blessings and sympathies,
    Laurie

  212. audrey says:

    i put my dog Bear down yesterday and I am devastated – for two months he wouldnt eat and I forced fed him by hand, gave him whatever pills the vets suggested, but yesterday his suffering became glaringly apparent. Out of love and compassion we had him euthanized, he was only ten. I came home and picked up every bone, toy and blanket, bagged every can of food and left his collar and leash at the hospital. this morning was so hard – he wasnt there with that face and smile. I always knew this day would come, I know nothing but time will soften this pain – I am glad to know that there are humans in the world that feel the despair as I do. I kept the last of many towels he vomited on yesterday, its still distgustingly sitting in a bathroom sink – of all the things i had to remove yesterday, still need to see that one. It serves to remind me my boy was so sick and it was the right thing to do. I know today I will have to get rid of it, maybe I will take a picture first – pathetic I know, but strangely it helps.

  213. Ali says:

    Two days ago, I learned that our little chap, Jo, had passed away on July 12th. The family chose not to tell me until I returned from an overseas trip and I am totally devastated.
    Jo was working cocker spaniel although the only work he did was licking the plates before they went in the dishwasher. He was ten years young and had shown no signs of ill health, a little gray around the chops and less prone to running off after pheasants and other county game in his later years. He has been with us through so many major milestones, my daughters tumultuous teenage years, the death of my mother, moving house but remained the one constant.
    His brother, Charlie, half his age, has taken to lying by the kitchen patio doors and staring into the garden as if he is waiting for him to come bounding down the steps. I am hoping that he does to.
    RIP Jo (cocker)

  214. mark brown says:

    Jari; i know just how hard your choice is, i too had to make a choice of letting my little girl go. it has been over two weeks now since i lost her. and the pain of her loss is still strong. I still wish her good night, and say hello in the morning. i watched her slowly fade over a few days. In the end she was unable to move, she could not even lift her head to take a drink. as i took her to the vets her condition got worse, stuggling to breath. the love that i have for Holly made it so hard to let her go. but been told by the vet that there was nothing that could be done for her, left no choice but to let her die with dignaty. as to end her pain. im heart broken by her loss. and that pain will never go. to help me with this pain i have set to and made a photo album, and in this i have placed all of the photos i have of Holly, as well as two letters to say how much she meant to me. even my wife that i have been with for almost 4 years never understood our bond together, and she only thinks that there are photos in the album, maybe one day i will show her and she may then understand. there are so many people that never get the chance to find love for there dogs, the bonds that us lucky ones do find will never be broken. as we will never forget them, no matter how much time passes by. dont beat yourself up for having to let Bandit go, in time you will see you did the right thing for him. it is not an easy thing to do, but be stong for him, be there for him and tell him how much he means to you, and that you love him. and he will leave this world knowing that you loved him so much. i hope this will help you in this sad time x

  215. Cathy says:

    This is for Jari…I’m so sorry to hear about Bandit, whatever the circumstance it is just so very difficult, so painful. I personally knew I wanted Mango cremated, but wasn’t sure about the rest, did I want to see her again before? How would she be taken to the crematorium etc..etc..I didn’t make any quick decisions, each part was very step by step, some answers came like a sudden clear thought after a couple of days and other a result of changing my mind a few times and coming to know what to do at the last minute. In the end I was glad I could say goodbye to my baby again and take her to the crematorium and for me it helped to witness it..I decided I didn’t want her going alone so I cut a lock of my hair and tucked it under her arms so a bit of me could be with her…you’ll be in shock right now, you don’t have to make any decisions and the answers will come to you. I am so sorry and thinking of you at this sad and difficult time.

  216. Mike says:

    My mother called, “Jack died.” I found him on the side of parents’ house, lying in the weeds, head resting on the bricks, and his eyes half-way closed. I picked him asking him, “What are you doing there, buddy?” knowing he was dead while continually petting him. Next, I buried him way back in some woods close to the house.

    It felt like a dream.

    It used to be the one and only thing that kept me together was Jack Bailey then a certain woman came into my life, and that’s what kept me together some more.

    He died and I wasn’t there for him. He died brokenhearted…I would think. He could’ve lived longer if I hadn’t come here to this damn “state”. He would’ve been a better health. He died never having sex with another dog…really fucked up. I should’ve done more…I would’ve done more….

    I figured as long as Jack was here on earth everything would be okay, even though I didn’t get to see him every day because I was working so much but still. I got him in California (the best years), brought him here, and it seems since then every year it became worse and worse (it meaning the whole lifestyle).

    This was a dog that liked fried chicken and broccoli, whiskey and eggnog, and sometimes a McDonald’s cheeseburger on Sundays not to mention an occasional biscuit with gravy on it. Had to have gravy on it otherwise he damn-sure “ain’t” eatin’ no dry-ass biscuit. Oh no. Not him. Not Jack. That’s sort of an insult the way he would take it.

    And forget about dog food sometimes. If dog food was poured into his bowl, his expression was *Okay. That’s what you’re eating. What about me?*

    For some people he was just “another dog” but, for me, it’s hard to imagine that. People think others are weird or crazy because they become so emotional when their pet dies not realizing how attached they become to something that’s more than just an animal. Sometimes animals can be better to be around than humans.

    Right now, I’m in a daze. I had things planned and…now…I don’t know. Don’t really care. Don’t really care if I do it or not.

  217. Mike says:

    Jari, my dog died this Sunday. I’m still in denial…kind of like “limbo” despite I even buried him, felt like a dream.

    If this is the third time…I don’t know. Sounds like you don’t and want to do this to Bandit. I know I wouldn’t or couldn’t. Perhaps you shouldn’t. Then again, if Bandit is suffering THAT much…I don’t know. Is there someone else who could or would do it?

  218. Jari says:

    I have to put my best friend and companion to sleep today. The appointment is scheduled for 5pm. This is already the third time I’ve attempted to do the task. I never thought it would be this difficult and painful for me. I’ve had Bandit since he was a puppy and we’ve had a wonderful 13 years with each other. We’ve been through a lot together and I’m trying to stay strong in order to help end his suffering. It has been comforting to read all these posts and helped me to understand that I’m not alone during this heart wrenching situation. I’m now torn between having the vet dispose of the ashes or having the ashes returned to me. I would rather have the vet take care of it as I can see it would prolong my suffering, however I don’t want to be disrespectful to my beloved dog. Is this just a ceremonial decision in the hopes that it would give me closure or a personal decision that has no effect on Bandit? I would greatly appreciate any comments or thoughts. Thanks in advance for your support in helping me make this difficult decision.

  219. Cathy says:

    This is for Eli and others suffering guilt by not being able to be there at the end, explore the guilt and then let it go, please post back to chat if you don’t have anyone you can talk to, thinking of you.

  220. Cathy says:

    I lost my baby Mango Chutney on 16th July just after 8 am, she was 9 and a half and I brought her home from the Mayhew when she was 4 months old. She wasn’t very good with other dogs since she got bitten herself when she was young, but she never picked on smaller dogs and she was very gentle with the old bassett hound with a leg missing who had limped over to say hello to her, much to his owners surprise….she adored people and children. The events leading up to her passing and since is like a bad dream..the worse time is in the morning..have to force myself to get out of bed, so many of my friends who also knew and loved her has been amazing and I don’t know how I would have coped without their love and support, I thought my knees were going to cave in at times. Mango also turned my friend who is a cat lover to the dog side, she said and helped some others get over their fear of dogs. Thank you Mango for being in our lives, I miss you so much, I took it for granted you would be with me for a little while longer, I thought you were invincible..I know you wanted to be here too and put up a fight at the end, but I’m so grateful you got to decide when enough was enough and was able to go on your own accord.

    I want to think that you’ll be having tons of fun now and when you’re ready you’ll be looking after animals who are less fortunate or suffering and even if I’m not ready I have a feeling the next dog will come into my life in the form of a stray sent by you for me to look after.

    I love you Mango, you were the staffy x that stole my heart and you grew up from a basil brush into the most elegant, noble, beautiful lady. We are all missing you and I can’t wait to see you again when my time comes.

    I’m very sorry for all here too for the loss of your beloved pet, please be gentle on yourselves in your time of grief.

  221. mark brown says:

    i have taken so much comfort in knowing that i am not alone in feeling so sad at loosing a beloved friend and loyal companion. Eli im am sure that your little boy knew that you loved him very much. so please dont feel so bad for not been there at the end. in my sad tail I was lucky, as i was able to spend the last three and a half years at home with my little girl, due to an occupational illness. not so good for me, yet i was there for Holly. I feel that one of the things that we seem to forget, is the love that our little babies do give us, the utter joy, and companionship we have. i think we need to understand that our little babies as well as us have been so lucky in our lives together. we have been able to make a connection and a bond that in this life, or the life after can never be broken. I myself hold no one religion, yet i do belive in the soul, of all creatures. so the promise i made to my holly to meet again i know will happen. All of us that loose our loved frinds will meet again, yet we should also feel so very lucky to have found our soul mates as we did, as so many never get to find this love. so we are all blessed by the time we have had together. I hope that our little babies are now all playing together right now, and are just waiting for the day that we come to join them. and never be parted. I miss my Holly, my baby girl so much, and i still say good morning and good night to her. she may no longer be with me in body but her spirit will be with me always in my heart and my soul and for ever in my memories. I love you my little girl. my one true friend. and loyal companion. my Holly xxxx

  222. Nicole says:

    Lost my sweet Bejou on Monday. She was a 10 year old Maltese that I loved with all my heart. She loved me unconditional and we had such a connection. She was always a healthy dog and then the last two weeks we found out she had a bad heart and lung infection. We did everything we could to save her. She left behind her mom, dad and her best friend Chance ( he misses her as much as we do). I can’t tell you how much it helps to read other peoples stories and know that there are other people who can’t catch their breath, angry, lonely and very very sad. Bejou mommy misses you and loves you so very much.

  223. Eli says:

    I lost my best friend last month and I still cry a lot when I remember the good times we had together. He was always there for me but I wasn’t, and that makes me feel even worse… I loved him so much, I would always talk to him and he would lay on my lap and listen to all I had to say, now I don’t have anyone to talk to. I had him since I was 7 years old, and it’s extremely difficult to forget him. I just can’t. The worst thing is that I believe I didn’t treat him as he deserved, I didn’t care enough. And to top all of the above, I couldn’t say goodbye, kiss him and hug him, telling him how much he meant to me, because when I arrived he was already dead… I feel so bad… he died alone, with no one by his side, and I feel more and more regretful each time I think about it… I think he must hate me right now, but I hope that he was the happiest dog in the world when he was with me, I hope he knew how much I loved him each time I kissed and hugged him, and with how much love I took care of him. He was just an awesome dog, and I don’t think I’ll ever get another one since he was my first and last dog. I don’t think I can go through this kind of pain again. I miss you very much… hope you’re happy wherever you are, someday I’ll see you again. Thanks for all the happiness you brought to my life.

    I’m sorry, and I love you.

  224. mark brown says:

    My little baby girl ‘Holly’ passed away on the 9th of July 2011. over the week leading to this she went off her food, and just had no energy.
    she was almost 15, so i knew i would loss her, But Holly to me was more than just a dog or a pet. She was my one true friend and companion, my soul mate. She was always there to greet me when i came home, she always knew when i was unwell, or was feeling low, she gave me so much love in life which i returned in full. Losing her as made me so sad. I have never lost anyone that as ment so much to me as she did. all i have done since she passed away is cry. I miss her so much. When i got her to the vets, i was told that she was a very old dog, and that she was beyoned any help, and that it was her time. I had promised her the night before that i would never let her die alone, and that i would be with her at the end. This promise i kept. I held my baby girl close to me in my arms as the vet did what was the right thing to do , and releass her from her pain. I talked to her , telling her what she meant to me and how much i would miss her. and that i would always love her. I made her one last promise as she passed beyond this world . that one day we would meet again at the rainbow bridge and never be parted. Rest in peace my little baby girl until the day we meet again x

  225. Dear Suha,

    I’m sorry to hear how hard and heartbreaking it is for you and your son to cope with your dog’s death.

    Here’s an article that focuses on kids and dogs’ death:

    Kids and Pet Loss – 5 Ways to Help Children Cope With Pet Death

    I hope it helps. Let me know how you’re doing, how you and your son are coping.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  226. Tami says:

    When I awoke this morning at five a.m. our 12 year old Black Sheppard Chopper Edward Cook was not by my bed were he so faithfully sleeps! I went to the kitchen he was laying so quietly on the kitchen floor he had left his human family and headed off to the Rainbow Bridge. He was a magnificent animal that gave us the pleasure of his company for eleven wonderful years. We knew at his age for his breed everyday was a gift! We told him everyday how much we loved him! I consider my animals my Children since I have never had a human child! Please take solice in the fact that we have all given these wonderful creatures the best life ever! And us as humans should be so lucky!

  227. Luis says:

    Today I lost my dog, her name was Zsa Zsa, 5 year old Mix (yorky & Chihuahua), this little dog was given to me by a nice lady, she trusted me when she gave her to me, I tried to take very good care of her, however I failed. she was fine until yesterday, when I went to let her out around 1PM gave her some food then I went back to work, after work I went to buy some things for the office, got home around 8;30PM and I found her almost dead. she looked at me as i was talking to her asking what was wrong, Man I felt bad as i did not take care of her well. she looked at me then I picked her up, and as I carried her to place her in the pet carrier to take her to the vet, I felt when her body went lifeless, however i took her to the vet. she was fine, she was healthy. I am so SAD, SO SAD. :(

  228. Suha says:

    Today we lost our Rusty,he was just over one yr old,by accident,he run away jumping from the fence,his mate Bella started to cry,then I notice there is something wrong,within less than 5 minutes a lady run on by her 4 wheel dric=ve car,he was my son’s and his best mate,we haven’t stopped crying,we had to put hinm into sleep because of the bad ingery,the only thing the lady said was (I’m sorry),he had broken pelvic,open broken leg,and damage in his lungs which is hard to cure even after big operation,it’s so sad ,i have no idea how we are going to cope with this,his mate is Bella,you can tell that she missed him a lot,now I have no idea how to deal with my pain,my son’s as he is in his bedroom locking the door behind, and Bella’s pain.
    Please help

  229. Pam says:

    With a heavy heart I had to put my 15 year old Pomeranian ChiChi to sleep. I held my ChiChi until he passed on, I told him what a wonderful
    dog he had been to me, the joy he brought me. I told him he was beautiful, and I loved him with all my heart. He quietly slipped away, and I haven’t stop crying. My dog was there when my Mom passed away, and I got comfort from him, dogs can give so much more than people know
    that unconditional love. I have a 10 year old Pomeranian named Charlie,
    who was a companion for ChiChi, Charlie and I sit together and I think
    he knows ChiChi is gone. I have Charlie, but my heart hurts so much for
    my ChiChi, God sent him to me, and God has him now. Be with the angels
    my beautiful ChiChi I love you.

  230. Jane says:

    Well, here I am again, overwhelmed for the second time in my life by the loss of a beautiful dog. This morning I woke up and thought ‘I am never going to put myself through this pain again’, it is so overwhelming and debilitating. I know this feeling will change, but at the moment I am in an extreme state of pain – physical and mental. I can’t eat because I feel so sick, I can’t sleep, I feel panicky and short of breath. My gorgeous furry friend was put to sleep yesterday, she died in the arms of me, my husband and our son. We all kissed her nose and hugged her for the last time and then she was gone. Now I feel so scared and lost and I want her back so badly. I am angry, she was only 11 and the most sensitive animal I have ever known. If I was sad and in a different part of the house to her, she would sense it and seek me out, without fail. She was my comfort and my therapy and I loved to watch her run. I just want someone to take this pain away.
    RIP Maisie, my most loving and beautiful friend, companion and protector x

  231. Dear Tony,

    Thank you for sharing about your dog, Precious. I’m sorry you lost her…what a sad but beautiful way to say goodbye to the dog you loved so much.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  232. Tony says:

    I had to have my Pomeranian (Precious) put to sleep today. She had almost everything wrong with her that a dog could have. The major 3 things where Heart disease, Kidney disease, and cancer.

    I found Precious one morning about 8 years ago on the side of the interstate while coming home from work. She was truly a sad looking mess. I really wasn’t sure what she was. She watched me drive by. I took the next exit and turned around to get a better look at her. She watched me drive by again. I turned and stopped close to her. When I opened my car door and got out she ran up to me. At that point I realized she was a dog.

    I took her to the vet and followed the normal channels trying to find her owner but no one ever claimed her. The vet believed she was around 5 years old. He also found that she had cancer. Some of the tumors where believed to be aggressive. I had the tumors removed. After a reasonable time I gave up looking for her owner. More tumors where found and I had them removed and had her fixed. Altogether she had 4 surgeries for cancer but it always came back.

    Precious quickly grew to become one of the family. She loved everyone and everything except other dogs.

    About 4 years ago the vet discovered she had Heart disease / a Heart murmur. Then about 2 years ago she was diagnosed with Kidney disease. I had to give her 3 kinds of medication twice a day. 1 called azodyl witch was $40 for a months supply but is well worth it. If your dog or cat has Kidney disease please talk to your vet about azodyl.

    About a week ago one of her eyes got infected and she stopped eating. The vet gave me some eye drops and said she would start to eat again when she was ready. A few days later she wanted something to eat so I gave her 2 small packs of dog food. She got really sick.

    We called the vet and they said it was to much food to fast. We should only give her a little water and then more food when she was ready. It went a few days again without her eating. I ran into her vet over the weekend and he said to give her chicken broth and bring her in to see him early Monday morning. The next morning we found she was having problems breathing.

    When he checked her blood we got the news we had been dreading for a few years. Her kidneys where shutting down. He said it that’s why she was so sick and had been having trimmers and a seizer the day before.

    Precious was ready to go. She never like going to the vet and was always fidgety and wanted to leave. This time she was calm and just laid on my lap. The only movement was her quick and jerky breathing.

    I talked about it with my family and we all agreed that it was the best for her. The vet asked if we wanted to be with her when it happened and we said yes. He left the room and gave us some time alone with her. We where all crying but she seemed just fine.

    The vet came back in and I sat her on the examination table. In visits past she would try to jump off when on there but this time but this time she just sat down. I laid her on her side with her head in my hand. She always loved to lay with her head in my hand.

    She never moved at all. He gave her the shot and she fell asleep with her little head in my hand. I took her home and laid her to rest under a shade tree in my back yard.

    In the end she was completely ready to go. I feel she knew it was time and is now at peace. She has left a hole that can never be filed. She will be loved, missed, and never forgotten.

  233. Dear Kelsey,

    I’m so sorry to hear how your dog died. That’s just awful, and my heart breaks for you. I’m really sorry you had to go through that.

    Before you decide if you should get a new puppy (which is a good idea for some people, but not all), why don’t you visit the ASPCA or a dog shelter? Spend some time with the dogs, and see how you feel. Or maybe you could visit a friend who has a dog, or offer to walk a neighbor’s dog for a week or so. The more time you spend with dogs, the better you’ll know if you should get a dog — and whether you should get another Yorkie.

    I honestly think that whatever breed of dog you get, you’ll compare that dog to your Paisley Bear. And, your new dog will have a different personality and habits — not better or worse. Just different.

    May Paisley Bear live in your heart and memory with love, joy, and peace. May all your memories of her be good and happy.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  234. jeff moe says:

    two days ago we just lost our yellow lab sadie she was almost 12.her death was very unexpected,she went from being so happy to so sick within hours i think she mite of had a heart attack. she has been a part of my life since she was a puppy.my son and i layed with her petting her and kissing her ,ironically watching scooby doo.we told her we loved her and went to bed.2:30 am i went to check on her and i found her in my kichen.i think she waited until we went to bed to pass away,our family is so empty without her.we have a golden retriever named sally,we feel so sorry for her sadie was her best buddy. we are giving her extra luvins. this is a very tough time for us.and our extended family and friends.everyone knew sadie and all loved her.R.I.P sadie. p.s a friend reminded me “all dogs go to heaven”

  235. Kelsey says:

    I don’t know how to even start…I have never hurt so badly in my life! I lost my Paisley Bear a teacup yorkie on May 31. We were in our backyard playing fetch when the neighbor’s dog stuck his head through their fence (where a board was missing) grabbed Paisley by the neck and took her into his backyard. He shook her like a rag doll; I had to watch helplessly as this huge dog was killing my baby. I tried so hard to fit through the fence to get her out but I just couldn’t fit. She laid on the ground just looking at me while I tried to get into their backyard…but couldn’t get in. I ran down to their gate but it was locked. I screamed for help but the owner of the dog just stood and looked at me trying to get into his backyard. Paisley my 3 pound 6oz baby got up and walked out of the backyard, I still can’t believe her courage. I picked her up and rushed her to the Vet. The Vet informed me that Paisley had a detached jaw, internal bleeding and a punctured lung. He told me they would do everything in their power. Paisley lived for one hour after the attack, I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I cry everyday and I can’t stop replaying those horrible moments in my head. I just don’t know how I will survive without her…she was my soul mate! Paisley would have turned 3 years old on June 25th…she was taken too early and in a horrible way. Paisley Bear I will Love you forever and you will always be in my heart! My boyfriend and family believe the best medicine is a new puppy…I just don’t know if I’m ready but at the same time I don’t know if I will ever be! If I do decide to get another dog should I get a different breed? I worry I will just compare another yorkie to my Paisley.

  236. judy says:

    It’s been almost 2 weeks, june, 17th, since my joey has been gone,(shih zhu), pancreas cancer, I miss him so much, but helps to read some of the other stories, I still cry every day, this is so hard, he was my baby, I lost both my children, and parents, he helped me, he had unconditional love, I can’t hardly do anything,we took walks together, rides, he was my world, my life,my baby boy,until we are together someday, I will alway love and miss you baby boy.

  237. Thank you so much for sharing your memories and stories about your dogs. I and everyone who reads this article about pet loss really do appreciate it.

    Blessings and sympathy,
    Laurie

  238. Lucie says:

    Our JRT Jesse-boy was the greatest dog ever. He was my best friend and a dog who really knew how to love. No matter what, he was always happy to see us when we came home to see him. When you talked to him he would wag his tail. When you talked to him and moved closer to him, his tail would wag even faster! If you stood on one side of his body he would point his tail toward you and wag it. It was the cutest thing ever. He used to snore all the time when he would lay on his bed – even if he wasn’t asleep. He was the best dog a family could ever want.

    We still have Lydia (another JRT who was his perfect mate) and are very thankful for her. The loss is tragic but having Lydia makes it much easier. There is a HUGE hole in our hearts right now but know we will get through it and eventually it won’t hurt so much.

    We love you Jesse. We miss you boy. And are thinking of you and you are with us in our hearts. You were special and there will never be another dog quite like you. Thank you for almost 10 years of love.

  239. Nathalie says:

    Thank you so much these stories have made me cry but made me feel so much better I really miss my dog Niko which died today and my heart hurts so much and my golden retriever misses him too <3 RIP Niko

  240. Tai says:

    I lost my best friend, Taloola May, yesterday. She was a little over fourteen years old. This shih tzu had the most vibrant personality. I could tell you story after story about how she saved me from the pain that I have endured over the years. She was more than just a dog, she was a person to me. She understood me more than some of my family and friends. We had this connection I can’t explain in words. She had diabetes, and a couple days ago lost control of her bowl movements; stopped eating, drinking, and just laid there. No matter how hurt she was every time I said her name she would wag her curly pig tail-just to let me know she heard me. The vets (a couple) said she would die a painful death in four days tops if we do not let her go… her heart was over-worked and she was bleeding internally. There are two other dogs in the home, that help with the grieving, but I am wreck. I’m trying my best to keep it together.

  241. Hilary says:

    We lost our 16 year old Black Lab in April to kidney failure. Just two weeks ago our 14 year old Chocolate Lab passed in the middle of the night unexpectedly. I know they missed each other and are happy to be together again. I miss them both so much, and still cry every day. I find comfort in believing that I will be with them again some day. I will never forget my gold old girls!

  242. Thank you for remembering your dogs’ lives here…and I am so sorry that you lost them. When your dog dies, you feel lost, sad, confused, and so heartbroken….but you’re not alone.

    May you remember your lost pets with love and joy and peace in your hearts.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  243. Missing Lexy says:

    We had to put our 11 year old golden lab to sleep today. She was such a great dog. I’ll never forget when I got her I was 14 and wanted my first car to be a lexus.. So one day I come home and my dad said we got you Alexis… Thinking it was a car I walked in to see a puppy on the floor :) lexy had kidney faliure, stopped eating and stopped walking for 24 hours she hasn’t been able to get up so we had to put her to sleep <3 RIP lexy

  244. Rudolph says:

    We just lost our 3 1/2 yr old boxer. He was the love of my life. It hurts so bad. And I know with time I will heal…just right now I feel like my world is fallen apart!! We still have his sister at home so we have to try and positive for her…makes it really hard to deal with his death and keep her happy. Very confusing time in my life. :-(

  245. judy says:

    I lost my little dog joey, just 3 days ago, cancer, his birthday would have been today, he would have been 12. 2 weeks before he got sick, he started throwing up and stopped eating, took him to a vet, they said he had severe pancreastitis,gave him shots and still wouldn’t eat, getting worse, even took him to animal hospital 24 hour care, icu.for 2 days, our vet wanted to open him up and find out what was going on, Friday we went and got him out of icu and took him to our vet,opened him up, had pancreas cancer, which had spread, we had to put him to sleep, we brought him home in a baby’s blanklet, I held him for the last time and gave him a kiss and cried, while my husband dug his grave in our yard, buried him in a hard plastic container. I was in shock when I found out he had cancer, he was my world, my life, I can’t hardly stand to get up in the morning, horriable, or when we go somewhere, he was always waiting for us at the door, vacations, rides walks, we have so many wonderful memories with him, this is so painful,I am so sad, I miss him so much, please pray for me.

  246. Denise says:

    I lost my 11 year old beagle, Lola on a few weeks ago on May 21. I miss her terribly. I had to put her down because she was so sick. My house feels so empty without her. I cry everyday for her. I haven’t seen her in my dreams yet. This is the worst pain i’ve ever experienced.

  247. Loving Mickey says:

    My wonderful Cocker Spagniel Dog Mickey pass away today 31 may 2011 at 10 am, i was all the time with him until the end, he has been my love, my feelings, my hearts, my best thing that has happen to me in this life, I will always have him in my mind, heart,skin…………I am suffering because of this, I dont know how I will survive this, he was all my everything, my reason of life,of doing, of loving all to me, please help me.
    Mickey, my Mickey I love you so much.

  248. Steven Zhang says:

    I lost my Norwich terrier puppy today. His name was Skippy. He was my first dog, and his 2nd birthday would’ve been on June 2, just three days from today. He died from pure weakness/starvation, due to unknown complications from his surgery, which was carried out to remove a piece of a tennis ball from his intestine. The surgery was a week ago, last Tuesday. After it was performed, Skippy stopped eating (most likely due to intestinal problems), but kept drinking even on the night he was on the brink, until he grew too weak and passed on. I am absolutely heartbroken, and will never forget my little Skippy-doo. He was a most unique dog, and I never met one quite like him. I know I’ll never have a dog quite like him. I miss him terribly already, and my house feels so empty. The sound of his name tags clinking haunts my mind…I love my Skippy-doo!

  249. Thank you for sharing your stories of your beloved dogs. You’re keeping their memories alive for eternity.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  250. June Targett says:

    I/We are absolutely heartbroken at the loss of William, our beautiful yellow lab, only happened yesterday, he was only 10, and really never had any major illnesses in his life, the odd cut from diving into the river, but as I say nothing major, but yesterday he collasped and died. Although we have another lab and a bichon, we all mis him so very much, the house seems bigger and so empty. I keep looking in the garden expecting to see him. But he’s not there. It is actually like losing a person. I got up this morning expecting to step over him and he wasn’t there. He’ll never be there again. Shadow and Roly, are two remaining dogs, look for him. Just simply cannot get my head around it. He was taken so suddenly, I never had a chance to say goodbye and tell him how much I loved him. He’s gone. I miss you. xxxx

  251. GabbyL says:

    Dear all,
    It is comforting to know how you all feel. Our pet dog, Tyler, a sharpei cross multibreed died just 2 days ago. He was suffering from liver cancer the past 10 months. He was really my sister’s dog. My sister was in New York (I live in Hong Kong) undergoing ankle surgery. She was unable to fly for many months. All this time, Tyler waited lovingly by the window. He always sat by the window and looked out, looking for her, knowing that she would come back.

    Tyler got weaker and weaker as the days went by. I took care of him. And on the day my sister was to return to Hong Kong, (she had to schedule an emergency visit with her doc to get clearance to fly), Tyler started to vomit and would not eat. She came back and he was so weak, but so happy to see her. They took him to the vet hoping there was something they could do. He died in her arms at the vet, just her and him, just the way it was when she took him home 14 years ago, for the very first time, as a puppy. She spent the last 5 hours of his life on earth with him. Now, he is on Rainbow Bridge, looking down on us, our guardian angel.

    Tyler taught us what unconditional, unfaltering love is about. He had such a gentle spirit and calming presence. He was so truly loyal and we will never forget him. I miss him so much! I know that we will find another soul to love again, and we will love them as much as Tyler loved us.

  252. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dogs…it’s such a difficult thing to deal with.

    Thank you for sharing your stories — I know how much it helps other people whose dogs died, to know they’re not alone.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  253. Terri says:

    Today was one of the hardest days for me. My family pet of almost 15 years, Beau a very smart, sweet German Shep. dog had to be put to sleep. He was suffering a lot and could not even walk without help. He had lost all bodily functions as well.

    I have two other dogs who already miss Beau. My husband and I also have a 6 month old child. This is really hard.

  254. Tina says:

    We recently lost our loving German Short Haired Dog. His name was “Kato”. He will be and is now sorely missed!! He was a very happy and loved dog who was always full of life. He was 12 years old and he had a tumor that was cancer in his heart. He was still trying to live his life as usual, but he just could not do it anymore. We will miss him so very much!!
    I am so sorry to hear about all of you who have lost your dear pets. I feel your pain and hope that we can all go on an remember our pets and the love that they have given us.

  255. I wrote another article for people who lost their cats, but the tips apply to people who lost their dogs, too.

    Living Without Your Cat? How to Ease the Pain of Pet Death

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  256. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dogs, Katarina and Trina. Thank you for sharing here.

    May your dogs rest in peace, and your heartache heal.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  257. Katarina says:

    Yesterday, at 19.15, my darling Dexter fell asleep in my arms. This amazing golden retriever was the love of my life – only 3,5 years old. Only one week ago I found out that he has got kidney failure – both of them stopped to work. I am totaly heartbroken and don’t quite know how to cope with this loss. All I hear is that life moves on, that this is for the best, that I should be happy for the time we spend togehter, BUT IT IS JUST SO PAINFUL. As the injection started to make its effect, I was holding him, looking in his eyes and trying to return at least some of the love he has given me. I am devastated.

  258. Trina says:

    Today we put our dog spencer down, he was 10 years old and was a rescue. we got him only two years ago and what a awesome but sad story behind it. My boyfriend and i were taken some time while is motorcycle was being worked on at the SPCA and Dave doesnt really care for cats but that day we wanted to look. then here comes spencer walking in the door i said oh isnt he cute but Dave said oh trina i was like oh no we already have three shepards at home. The worker said oh you can just adopt him so we brought him home and when i brought him to the vet he said trina you know that he isnt fixed or my lexie dog isnt fixed either so when i brought lexie who by the way saved me and my two children from a hours fire two years previous he found breast cancer and she would have never made it without us getting spencer, so in that note she saved us but he saved her and that is one thing i will never forget about him. sometimes life gives you hidden reasons for doing things. I miss him more then ever and i dont think ill ever get over losing him he was the first dog i have had to put down and the look in his eyes were goodbye mom and thanks for letting me be pain free. I miss you spencer and i will always love you and i promise we will meeet again sweet boy

  259. John says:

    Thanks, My dog died three weeks ago and I feel terrible. It helps to read what other pet owners do to cope.

  260. Thanks for sharing your stories of your dog’s death. I hope you’re doing well.

  261. Mirjam says:

    Thank You! It helped me to read this . I lost my dear Impala for three weeks ago.
    It’s not easy…

    Love, Mirjam from Oslo, Norway

  262. I’m really sorry to hear about your dogs’ deaths — and yes, the death of a pet IS terrible.

    You have my condolences and sympathies :-(

  263. David says:

    I lost my beloved boy poddle last night and im really sad but I am also so happy to still have my other poodle.
    I miss his playful self be around and im having a hard time with the lost but I know it will get better in time. I’m so worried about my other dog missing her friend so much. I don’t want to go to work and leave her alone but I know I have to tomorrow and that hurts also.
    Its good to vent.

  264. Chontae says:

    We had to put my Staffy/Kelipie 11 year old dog down today. Jessie was a puppy in a older dogs body, she loved to pounce around the house and outside and act like she was 2 again. we found out 5 months ago she had cancer and that we only had 2 weeks with her. and 5 months later she was still here, and the last 5 months she had shown no sign of being sick, but a week ago she started slowing down and we decided today was the day. She was a member of my family and has been with my growing up. we all got to say goodbye to her, besides my father who works on a mine site and is 2 weeks away 1 week home. he is not home for another week and Jessie was his best buddie and used to follow him around everywhere. The death of a pet is terrible.

  265. Lis says:

    Camilla….my basset hound, left us in the middle of the night. 11 years old suffering from heart failure. It was so quick, in the morning she seemed happy go lucky as usual, by mid day she was panting, vomiting, leathargic,rolling her eyes back. Just a day ago I had played fetch the stick across our pasture with her. Her body now lifeless. Black and white…no grey area it seems. She was a handful, spoiled, loud, hairy(shedded a pound of hair a day), affectionate, funny, playful, athletic, soft, cuddley, exhausting, whiney, anxious, never hurt a soul. I remember the long walks through the snow…day and night. Her seperation anxiety for me…”mom” I need you sort. Her vehicle (body) is there…but she (heart/soul) is not. 11 years…snuggling in my arms at 9 weeks….dying next to me at 11 yrs. You were wonderful…you gave me joy and sorrow. I LOVE you…god speed, Cami!

  266. Melanie says:

    Last night I unexpectedly lost my precious baby girl and the pain is unbearable. I think she had a heart attack and dyed in her daddys arms with me by her side. She was a Brussels Griffon and she was my everything. I loved her more than I even knew possible. I ache to hold her in my arms and I cant stop sobbing. I just want her back….I feel a physical pain in my heart and dont know how I am going to go on without her. The house feels so horrible, like the light has gone out. I miss her so so so very much and will love her forever. Will the pain ever end?

  267. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Kate-lynn, James, mi bebe, nick nack, and Pete,

    I’m so sorry that you’re coping with the loss of your dog, and I hope that you’ve found some comfort here. Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts.

    Blessings and sympathy,
    Laurie

  268. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear NiNi,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dog…that’s so sad. I think the helplessness and pain of being unable to save a dog you love is heartbreaking, and there’s not much anyone can do to make it better.

    How do you comfort your dog who is feeling so lonely and sad? I think it’s important to spend time with him, petting him and loving him and talking to him. He’s probably confused and feeling lost, and even if you could find words that he could understand, it probably wouldn’t erase the pain! Just like you understand my words….but that doesn’t take away the grief when your dog dies.

    So, I encourage you to love your dogs, play with them, and cuddle them up. They’ll eventually get used to their new lives without your lost dog, and become themselves again.

    I hope this helps, and I’m really sorry I don’t have the magic words to take your pain away.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  269. NiNi says:

    I am 13 and my dog died on December 20 2010, she was a mixed breed between loads of breeds and she was 9 years old i had her all my life, she came everywhere with me i went swimming in the river she could do agility and catch,fetch she knew load of commands, :( she was diagnosed with a really bad pancreas, she went on a drip and became better she came with me trick or treatin and every thing. I planned this year to take her to the beach but she just collapsed on 20 December on the cold snow outside, my father brought her in and laid her by the fire, she was still alive, I said my goodbyes fairly calming and my dad carried her to the car, by then her heart had stopped…….. My other dog which it 14 corgi-collie mix is still now very lonely and disturbed. i have another dog now 4 months but my old dog Chester is lost, blind, death, confused, disturbed and feeling forgotten…! I don’t know what to do how can i make him feel better ?? PLEASE HELP

  270. Kate-lynn Marie priest says:

    hello I am 12 years old and my puppy has justed diead and i found his decaying body in a bush he had been missing 4 sum time he was bitten by a snake and none of these help and i cant go any father i think im gonna die he was the world to me his name was Snoopy Snoop Dogg he was a gremen shephard/ labdora/ dalmation and i love he with all my haert and now it feels like sum1 ripped my heart out

  271. James says:

    Recently my Boxer Ruka died. He was the world to me. My wife and I have no children and he was like a son to me. This has been the most devistating loss of my life. I am so heart broken that at this point it feels like I will never be able to get over this. Our house is so lonely and empty that I cannot hardly be home alone. There are people in my family that I would not miss as much as I do my Ruka. I cannot think about anything else but him. I feel like I have to have another dog because thats just the kind of person I am but, another part of me is afraid to get so attached like this. I do not think I could gop through another loss like this. Maybe it is that I need more time. At this point my life feels empty.

  272. mi bebe... says:

    to nicknack- I had some trouble to find this page again and this post I wrote and saw your response… I can’t describe the joy my baby felt when he was on puffy green grass or among dense tall plants(only 3 times hppend in all his life) i never had the chance to take him out to wide open country fields… i was planing that trip since months and months and never did it.. i planned him a trip to the beach this summer.. i even planned taking him with me to my first trip to europe someday soon… i planned the resf ot my 15 yrs of life with him at my side.. and the idea of our beloved pets playing together on green fields of blue skies.. being happy and healthy, unreached by pain neither sorrow… brought me some quiet at last… for a moment at least. And whether the rest might not agree or believe this,(I’ll quote somebody elses post): “I believe that God finds a way for us to enjoy the presence of both our saved loved ones and our departed animal friends” and i had spoken with a family member about it.. and he also firmly believes it… we might be as childs by im starting to believe it also… that when we get to heaven we will be received also by all our beloved pets…

  273. nicknack says:

    To mi bebe – my dog died at the beginning of January and I still feel the pain. Something drew me to this site today and to read your post. I was looking at a photo of my little boy and I stated crying again. For some reason I did a google search and came upon your post. I can’t say it is easy getting over the loss of a dog but what I can say is I do fully understand how you feel as I felt the same way as you are feeling now. I even resented my older dog for him not dying in place of my little boy. Cry as much as you want, don’t eat if you are not hungry but please drink fluids, water if nothing else. There is another dog out there in need of your love. No other dog will ever replace your little one. Your little baby had certain qualities that you loved, the way he looked at you for example. That thought of him will never be replaced. I’m no expert or counsellor but for some reason I am compelled to help you. Maybe our little ones are playing together in a green field with blue skys and a warm breeze. Neither of them are in pain anymore and neither will age anymore. There is nothing where they are that will ever hurt or harm them. They are free and happy together. These thoughts for some reason help me, I true hope they help you too.

  274. mi bebe... says:

    I dont want to read all the other comments yet… my baby died yesterday… and i want to die too… there is nothing left now… he died in my arms in panic in pain… now i know he died poisoned… rat poison… it was a horrible painful death…. the suffered in ways i wish i had never seen in a pet… never in my own baby… he was a beautiful perfect mini schnauzer of 1 yrs 2 months… he was already in rigor mortis when i got to the vet.. he died in my arms with his little paws grabbin my shirt… his eyes watered… i can stop crying.. i want to die too… i was in a fast the day, started it praying and asking god for my pets health like every day.. thanking him of lettin me have such a beautiful lovely amazing creature as my baby is.. i begged with all my soul to god to save him.. i still cant believe it… i got my dog to help me get through my depression…my very first dog… he is my everything.. the only reason i was alive the reason i woke up the reason of my smile the reason to be in this world… i’m 21 and i’m such a lonely person and now my baby is gone… i have been through hell during tha past 3 years of my life but this is… is undescribible.. there is no pill in the world to heal my pain… i dont understand why God let this to happen… i wont take my ownlife… but i havent eaten any solid neither sopu or juice.. just water and sleeping pills… to help me get throught the day and night… now i dont feel hunger neither want to eat.. i feel weak… everything is so obscure… so quiet.. im waiting to my baby to come and stand in his two little paws on my lap and be loving and caring as he is.. his beautifil little eyes his stare i loved so much i love him so much …. i will never get this throught… i have no friends.. i dont want doctors anymore… and god has gone quiet… what am i doing still alive… my baby…

  275. Pete says:

    Phoebe passed on at 6:30 pm at our home, about six hours after returning from the vet. She quickly deteriorated. After talking and crying with my mom I went to check on her and saw the telltale signs. Teagan and I watched as she entered her death spasms and died. Emma came right after. We buried her under our younger willow oak tree by the garage. I will plant some Raspberries there so that we can come and pay our respects and continue to enjoy all the wonderful things that she has given us. Putting her in the ground was harder then I thought it would be. The ground was so cold and hard and wet and close and she still looked so beautiful.

    We love her so much, its just simply mind blowing to think that she was just chasing a ball I threw less then a week ago. Emma was a mess upon coming home from school and afterwards when she got the news but was very brave and wide eyed as we laid our old dog down.

    We buried her as darkness set in, the lightning flashed and a chorus of thunder clapped the night; rain threatened to come down. An hour later it has started raining buckets, coming down angled in big sheets, something I haven’t seen in a while around here. I feel very honored by nature for such a wonderful display.

    I gave her this brief famous Eulogy…

    A POEM FOR THE GRIEVING…
    Do not stand at my grave and weep.
    I am not there, I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow,
    I am the diamond glints on snow.
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
    I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
    When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    of quiet birds in circled flight.
    I am the stars that shine at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry,
    I am not there, I did not die…

    Welcome back to the circle my old friend.

  276. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for sharing your stories here…my sympathies are with you.

  277. Barb says:

    Friday, Febraury 18th I lost my best friend, Buffy, a beautiful 12 year old Golden Retreiver. David and I have been together 12 1/2 years. In the beginning of our relationship I told him once I was able to have a dog again (lived in a cat only apartment) I wanted a golden retreiver and I already knew I would call her Buffy. He, of course, thought I was nuts, but on my birthday he gave me a card with a beautiful golden puppy on it and he wrote “Buffy” under the pic. He said she would be “ours” one day. Sure enough within a couple months we brought Buffy home to his house! Once we found our own home together, we were complete, life was beautiful! We had his son, my daughters, my cat (who I also loved dearly) and our dream we had together, our Buffy. Over the years she has been more places and seen more sights than many dogs get the opportunity to do. She literally went everywhere with us. We gave her a sister, an Aussie named Abby 5 years back, and although Abby was a bit domineering, they shared a bond and a love. Buffy was fine(although I sadly admit I did not keep up with her annual checkups for the l;ast three years due to fianacial burden) but just last week she walked around the block, and seemed aged, but perfectly okay.
    In just two days, my life has become a nightmare. On the 16th her stomach started bloating heavily and she was heaving constantly. I called the vet. On the 17th she went in and had blood work and an electrolyte IV to give her some nutrients. On the 18th the vet called and said there was nothng we could do, her enzymes were incredibly high, her liver was not functioning and even if we could afford exploratory surgery, she was too weak to have any. I went home early from work, laid with her for her final hours and sang to her, kissed her over and over and over and over and reminded her of everything trip we had ever taken. I put my mother (who passed in 1999) rosary beads on her. When I saw her rasping for air get worse I called Dave in and within 20 seconds she took her last breath. We both held her and spoke in each ear to go follow God to heaven, and a thousand other goodbye words, in between tears. She is not yet back, in her tiday little box, it will be a few more days, but every single moment of my day is consumed with how deeply I miss my baby girl. I will most likely get a lab when I feel the time is right, a puppy to make my heart smile again, but nothing, nobody, can replace my or stop the hurt of my life now without Buffy. Thank you for letting me have someplace to releas this

  278. elizabeth says:

    I was at work yesterday when I received numerous calls from my boyfriend. When I called back his voice was just broken and he told me that our 10 month old puppy was dead. I refused to believe it and I just told myself when I get home she’ll wake up from her nap. The first step I took into my door I saw my boyfriend sitting on the ground holding a blanket. I just started breaking down. I lifted the blanket and her face was so lifeless..I felt like my heart dropped down to my stomach. We rushed to the emergency vet clinic down the street and although I refuse to believe it, the vet told me the puppy past away and there is nothing that he can do. We decided to get her cremated. I have never felt this pain before, I was more attached than I thought I would ever be to something. I forced myself to go to work…but I just keep thinking about how just sunday night we were cuddling in bed and her falling asleep on me. Her kennel is right next to my bed, so she is always the first thing I see in the morning. Today when I woke up… I just laid there staring at the kennel. This is really painful. I just wish she was back in my arms.

  279. olivia says:

    i need help getting over the loss of my beloved dog Mulder a golden retriever american eskimo mix we lost him ten days before his 14 b-day and i still cry over him its been about 4 months now and im crying as i write this can u please help me im desperate the pain is unbearable agh! im only thirteen and ive had mulder for all my life he was originally my moms dog but when i was born he was stuck on me so we grew up together and hes always been 1 yr older than me. so theres my story if anybody can help me please do !

  280. kb baby says:

    My puppy-dog died yesterday (Feb. 16, 2011)
    Her name was Precious she was only 4 years old.

    Here’s what happened:

    I get a call from my mom yesterday, when I answered she was crying..
    I was asking, “What’s wrong mom?!!” I was so scared and didn’t know what to think..
    She replied saying, “Precious is DEAD! She got ran over by accident..”
    I was in shocked, my heart dropped and I cried immediately after hearing the sad news. I tried asking more questions about what happened. She couldn’t talk, my mom was crying so much..
    She told me, “I need to get off the phone, I’ll call you back.”
    After I got off the phone with my mom, I was crying so hard, I ate like an hour and a half before my mom called and I felt hella bad, so I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything I ate.. I was very emotional, I couldn’t believe this happen to my dog.. WHY MY PRECIOUS??
    I had her since she was 6 weeks old.. and she dies at only 4 years old.. :(
    After crying so much, I try to calm myself down with some music. My mom calls me back asking if I wanted to see her before burying her. I told her yeah.
    I missed my class to say goodbye to my bestfriend/baby..

    I met up with my mom at a park, my uncle gets out the truck and heads toward a bench and begins crying like crazy, my mom is crying too, and I walk up to the truck and see Precious wrapped up in a towel. I start crying, I am so sad, I hug my mom and we were crying together..

    She told me my Uncle accidently ran her over by accident, he was drinking like a dummy and not paying attention, she was under the truck while he was backing up and she died. I didn’t want to know anymore details. Seeing her cold, empty, quiet body made me feel like all this was too unreal.. I touched her head and instantly started crying again..
    I felt kinda uncomfortable seeing her like that, because I know she isn’t alive anymore and that was just her body..

    So we had to decide where to bury here, I picked a spot where we can always visit here.. I had to dig the hole because my uncle didn’t want to let her go… I dug a hole next to a tree, I wanted to dig enough to make sure nothing will dig her up..
    We all gave her kisses before we buried her and told we loved her.
    My uncle put Precious’ body in the hole, I didn’t want to put the dirt over her, so my uncle did that part..
    After we buried her we told her goodbye.
    We plan to buy some flowers to plant by her grave so we can see the flowers grow and bloom out to something beautiful like how Precious was.
    Precious was an intelligent and loving dog. I will never forget her, she made and impact to me, my mom, my uncle and everyone else’s lives.

    No dog will replace her. She will never be forgotten.

    R.I.P. Precious 2/5/07-2/16/11
    Mom, Unc Mike and Lil mama misses you and loves you.

  281. James says:

    5 minutes before 8 am today. I received a call from my mom. Her voice was lower than usual and I thought it was another call about something ordinary. But it was a call about my dog China. She told me that she was having the worst seizure that she had ever seen and my Uncle rushed her to the Emergency Animal Hospital.

    She told me that she had died. My heart fell like a dead weight.

    For months, my mom has been nursing China everyday and
    I been trying my best to take care of my dog and take her to the vet
    with whatever money we had left. We even got a lot of medications
    to take care of the seizures until we got enough money to pay for everything.

    And now, I’m torn and every memory I had of China is making me miss her.
    Right now, she is being cremated and I don’t know what else to do, except take my pain, love and sadness and do something for her and to help all animals.

  282. Maddiie says:

    Yesterday was valentines day. 6:03 p.m. I let go of my dogs leash as habit. This time he ran into the road whena truck was coming. The guy never slowed down. going to fast for a neighborhood road. I saw my dog do under, flip, roll, then lay limp in the road. I ran dropped everything in my hands one shoe came off and my contact fell out by i didnt care. It was as if i was hit to, my dog wasnt dead, laying there suffering in agony. then a feuw seconds go bye and he was gone. Im 16 years old. He was the only thing getting me by and he’s gone. i was screaming for the wolrd to hear that another angel is watching over me today. screaming no plase spazz no no no no. Then the blood came out almost lyk a puddle of water and i punched the ground and gave out a scream that would break the devil’s heart. The man took my baby boys life by mistake. He was only one. there were kids every where so it could have easliy been any one else. I’d rather it been me then him because i would have survivde. But he died with me by his side. The night i sat on the porch and hurs his bark yet there are no dogs in my neighborhood close enough to hear. I let my spazz go, told him my other dog micky was waiting for him up in heaven, that they’d be the best of friends and id join them when Fait comes to get me. Wether your 16 or 60 the pain is unbareable and everything reminds you of your loved one. So for all those people hurting, your not alone.
    – Madeline Negron

  283. Jade says:

    December 4th 2009 our family German Shepherd Remi had to be put down. She had a few types of cancer, of which I don’t choose to remember as it makes me too sad. Unfortunately I Didn’t get to see her in the last few weeks of her life, which still tears me up, she got put to sleep in our living room, with my mum and dad right next to her.

    She was my best friend for 7 years, she helped me through the worst times of my life, and was right beside me for the best times too.
    She looked after me and protected me so much, I was always safe when I was with Remi. There was this one time when I was getting picked on at school by a group of older lads and I took Remi out for a walk, just the two of us, and as we were out we crossed paths with the bullies. Remi’s heckles went up straight away and she wouldn’t let them near me, she knew what they were and she proected me. They never bothered me again after that.

    We go to a campsite called Yarwell Mill, right near a little village called Nassington, it was her favorite place in the world, she was the happiest there, and I can safely say that some of my happiest memories are of me and Remi playing in the river.

    I still struggle with the fact that Remi isn’t around anymore, if I’m being honest, it’s the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with, loosing my best friend. I’m glad our gorgeous girly isn’t in pain anymore. I know that when I go home, to my Mum and Dad’s that Remi is still there looking after us all. The first time I went home after she went I know I heard her running up and down the stairs at night, checkin on us all just like she used to.

    I miss you and love you more than I could say Remi, I’ll see you up at the rainbow bridge.

  284. John says:

    Im happy for this site because I can relate to what everyone is saying. We just had to put down our rat terrier on Monday Jan 31st. It was a very gut wrenching experience, and he took a turn for the worse over the weekend and we had to take him into the vet. He was a part of the family and we miss him dearly.

  285. Liz Hall says:

    Hi,
    We just had to put our beloved border collie of 13.5 years to sleep on Saturday the 29th of January and I can’t stop crying. We don’t have kids and Jack and his sister Sam were/are our 4 legged kids. Jack got sick a couple of weeks ago and was treated for a enlarged esophagous. He got better for a couple of days but it didn’t last. The vet did x-rays last Thursday and discovered he was full of cancer. It was the hardest thing my husband and I have ever done. We were both holding him and looking into his eyes when he took his last breath. I believe in the Rainbow Bridge and seeing your “baby again Very few people (including family) can understand our grief and they keep telling us “this will pass”. I am angry and want to lash out and tell them how sick I am but I know they won’t understand. Sam, our other dog grew up with Jack and she is lost and sad and my heart is breaking twice forth. I found this website, trying to understand my grief. I would welcome any comments.

    To all those that have lost, my deepest sympathies and I hope I can to be of some help one day.

  286. Paul says:

    I had to put my favorite dog down last Thursday morning right after midnight. She was an energetic 14 yr old yellow lab who when first laid eyes on me, she ran over and acted like I was a long lost love. For 7 years, we played, took walks, and sat on the porch. She was so loving, always liked to rest her head on my shoulder, give me a lick on my chin, and loved everyone who approached her. Last year she had a stomach ache and could hardly walk. I cared for her and she got better. Then this past December, her joints made it harder for her to walk, and she had her stomach problems again, and this time her stomach was bloated. I fed her chicken broth with steamed vegetables, rice and a little oatmeal, which made her better. She was going to the bathroom regularly, sprinting and happy. Last Tuesday Jan 26th, she started to get lethargic, and couldnt walk well and fell down 3 times on the sidewalk. She yelped for me to pick her up. It was horrifying to see her fall a as I caught her. I held her and she rested her head under my chin and I helped her walk home. Wednesday evening, her stomach was hard and big, and she had not eaten. I helped her outside on the patio, and she fell, then blood came out of her rear. She then walked into the woods and laid down. I tryed to get her up but she looked at me and wanted to stay. I finally got her into the living room, and more blood came out. I called the emergency vet and took her over at midnight. They said that her stomach may have twisted due to a cancerous mass, but at her age it would be useless to do tests or surgery. I sat with her, hugged her and then they put her to sleep, as she looked at me once more and softly rested her head on her paws. Im still crying over this 3 days later. It was so hard to do this, and part of my sadness is rembering how traumatic it was to see her fall like that, then the blood. I know this will take some time to get over. I can still see my footprints next to hers in the dusting of snow in the back yard. I loved her so much.

  287. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Nadia ~ Thank you for sharing your story of Kayla. I’m glad you don’t feel so alone, after reading these stories of healing from pet owners who lost their beloved dogs. You’re not alone; many of us are grieving with you.

    Dear Enza ~ I am SO sorry to hear about your poor sweet puppy. How tragic and heartbreaking for you, and for him. I wish I could say the magic words to take your pain away, but I’m afraid there aren’t any such words. My friend, you did what you could to protect your puppy. He just got away from you — it wasn’t your fault! That’s what puppies do: they run their little legs off. For some reason, your puppy wasn’t meant to grow up.

    Only time will heal your sad thoughts — it DOES get easier over time, my friend. Here’s something a psychologist suggests: scheduling time for your grief. “Spend a certain amount of time each day thinking about your loss,” write Lorrie Greene and Jacquelyn Landis in Saying Good-bye to the Pet You Love. “Time it. It could be five minutes or thirty minutes. After the time is up, consciously think of something else, preferably something pleasant and not related to your companion animal.”

    Would your puppy want you to stay in pain 24 hours a day? No. Is letting go of the grief a betrayal of your puppy? No! It’s difficult to take control of your thoughts, but it’s an effective way to overcome your grief and start healing.

    I hope this helps and wish you all the best.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  288. randy $ pat says:

    tomorrow will mark one months since we put to rest our beloved companion and friend ” Tar ” a 13 year old black mini schnauzer. he came to us at 8 weeks old. Tar traveled the US with us and loved riding in our van or car. We miss him dearly and I wrote this little poem for him and would like to share it….
    we lost you Tar, it was time for you to go
    our love for you, you must know
    there is an empty place in our hearts
    and the precious memories remain
    but it will never be the same
    we pray that you will be safe
    in your new home filled with grace
    God holds you now in his special place
    We love you buddy, mom & dad

  289. enza says:

    my 11 month old puppy died 3 days ago…. he got hit by a car while on our summer holiday, know cut short. we were at the beach, he was rolling in the sand when he decided to run. i called his name, he stopped and then ran again. This time he continued to run and I called and called. Then i yelled,screamed and began to cry as I ran around looking and screaming for him. He had ran through some bushes and across a busy main road. There he was lying on the other side, with his eyes open looking at me. A nice man offered to drive me home,so could take him to the vet. When i got into the car he took his last breathe…….. i cant stop going over this scenario…. and the what if???? he was my one true love and taught me so much..many people are missing his bubbly personality and loving heart…. what can i do stop these thoughts running through my mind every half an hour…. ???

  290. Nadia says:

    I had my bright eyed Kayla put to sleep on New Year’s day… the worst day of my life. She was a beautiful long haired Belgian Shepherd of 10 years 3 months. She had to have a hip operation at only 9 months old, so we were really blessed to have her in our lives for so long. She had suffered from arthritis for years and was given the best food and all sorts of supplements which I think really helped to extend her life. We live on a 3 acre property with 4 other dogs – her sister Jade, 2 GSD x Siberian wolf Luka and Kira (brother and sister), and Jack the Jack Russell.

    My problem, other than missing her TERRIBLY, is that I keep thinking of the last moments of her life – me holding her in the back of my car, telling her that it would “be all right” while the vet injected her to take her life. She pulled her leg away twice while she was being injected, so had to be injected a third time. She leant forward towards the vet – I think she thought it was me as she also had long dark hair – I don’t know if she was trying to say goodbye, thank you or ask for help. Then she fell back and stopped breathing immediately. It was so quick. I had help her and kissed her before, but did not have the change for my final goodbye. I keep seeing her blood mising with the green anasthetic in the syringe and her leaning towards the vet. I cannot get these images out of my head. Think of “happy” moments just make me cry more. I am devastated. She was by baby. WHen she was a puppe, my 2 Jack Russells attacked her a few times and I had to rush her to the vet for stitches. Since then, I have been fiercely protective of her and I think that is why she became my favourte, my bright eyes. I have dreaded her passing for so long, but it has still been such a shock and I am not coping at all. I cry all the time and it has only been 4 days. I dreaded driving my car for the first time after New Year, but instead of getting upset (I wa armed with tissues), I felt strangely peaceful and felt that she was in the car with me, to the extent that I was driving slowly around corners as I would with one of the dogs in the car. I think her spirit was there, but then maybe I just wanted it to be.

    I feel for all of you. I just wish I knew what happened to their souls once they die. I KNOW I made the right decision as everyone keeps telling me, but that does not make me feel any better. I feel like I betrayed her and the guilt is terrible, even though I know it was what had to be done. I am just trying to cope, one hour at a time in the hope that it will get easier.

    At least I no longer feel alone in this. Big hug to all of you. xxx

  291. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dog’s deaths.

    I wish there was something I could say or do to make it easier…but take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. Coping and healing when your dog dies is hard and heartbreaking, but it DOES get easier.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  292. Asha Jayasinghe says:

    Yesterday, my 2 and a half year old bull mastiff, Stanley passed away. He had gotten into some trash a week ago and had eaten something that caused an obstruction in his bowel. He had gotten sick and I took him to the vet, however the vet just thought it was inflammation of his stomach. He stopped eating for a couple of days. Then the night before he began to breath heavy. I rushed him to the vet who then did an x-ray to see there was something stuck in his intestine. Before they could operate Stanley passed away. I did not even get a chance to say good bye to my dear friend. I loved him so much. The grief and guilt I feel is too overwhelming for me to stand. I wish I could back in time. I miss him so much.

  293. Teila says:

    Ummm, I don’t know why I am typing this. All the websites I have read said I should talk about my loss .. I can’t talk. I can’t stop crying. Yesterday (Christmas morning) I lost my baby girl, Charlie-Bear. “Think of the fun times” .. it hurts too much. She suffered from epilepsy for 9 of her 12 years and Christmas Eve, to ease her stress from multiple cluster seizures, I brushed her to sleep. The next morning, I held her paw and told her how much I loved her while she went to sleep forever! I told her Thank You and the Vet thought I was talking to her, I wasn’t but it is OK, Charlie-Bear knew I was thanking her. OMG I can’t believe how much this hurts. I can’t talk to my friends, I can’t stop crying .. I miss my baby and I want her back!

  294. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I found this poem today….

    My best friend closed his eyes last night,
    As his head was in my hand.
    The Doctors said he was in pain,
    And it was hard for him to stand.

    The thoughts that scurried through my head,
    As I cradled him in my arms.
    Were of his younger, puppy years,
    And OH…his many charms.

    Today, there was no gentle nudge
    With an intense “I love you gaze”,
    Only a heart thats filled with tears
    Remembering our joy filled days.

    But an Angel just appeared to me,
    And he said, “you should cry no more,
    GOD also loves our canine friends,
    He’s installed a “doggy-door”!

    by Jan Cooper

  295. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Sahar, Jade ~

    I am SO sorry that your dogs died….it’s so heartbreaking.

    Different people find different things helpful when they’re coping with their the loss of their dogs. Me, I just cried all the time — I couldn’t seem to stop crying. After a couple of weeks, I cried less…and eventually got to the point of just feeling bad. Now, I think about her with love and a bit of sadness.

    The best healer is time. And, letting yourself feel and express your emotions. Writing how you feel is great, because it helps you process your thoughts.

    A pet memorial can be very helpful, especially if it adds “closure.” When our pets are taken suddenly, we have no time to prepare If we decide to put our dog to sleep, we at least have time to think it through…but a quick death is jarring and shocking. So, a pet memorial stone or even a funeral can be a very healthy way to grieve.

    I’m very sad for you. I know how hard it is to say good-bye to your dog. I invite you to share more about your dog here if you’d like, and hope you know that you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  296. Jade says:

    hi,I had to have my dog put to sleep last night, i feel awfull because i left him with the vet as i just took him in a at 10pm and he had to be put down at 10:30pm and i never thought of bringing him home with me i was wondering if it would help me if i had a memorial made for him in the home or if this pain i am feeling will go away soon, this is the frist dog i have ever had and the way i am feeling will be the last i can’t belive how much it hurts any advise on how to cope

  297. sahar says:

    hello , am sahar .. my dog died 3 weeks ago , and i visit her grave daily almost, i just cant let go , am so sad and i have crazy thoughts comingto my mind , sometimes i feel that i just wana dig her up and hold her i just dont want her to die and leave me alone , she died in a heart attack according to 2 doctors , she was 7 years old and 10 months .. i still cnt believe she’s gone , i want her back , i cry day and noght ,, i speak to her for hours .. when i visit her grave .. i just cant imagine my life without her .. she has a dog friend , she used to love him , and her trainer told me to take him because he was her friend and used to play .. the dog is for the trainer and he wana give his dog to me just to make me feel better and close to my dog .. i feelthat the world has come to an end to me ,, i dont know they say i lost my mind an must see a doctor , may be .. bit onething for sure , i lost my heart with her , i just keep thinking that i must die after her , i miss her like crazy and i stillcant let go or understand that she is not coming again , i even became afraid to sleep cause she used to sleep beside me since the say she was born , she was 10 days old when i got her casue her mam died and my friends brought her to me as abirthday present .. she is the most beautiful thing in my life ,, she is and will always be ,,, my baby my happiness .. but now am alone and feel so in pain and my heart aches really over her ,, i just want her back am sleepless without her am sad without he i miss her i wana hold her and play with her ,, i need help what shall i do , ,shall i die ? shall i get that dog ? shall go to a dr really?
    am sad and depressed i miss her and dont know when i will wake up from this nightmare i wish i died and she stayed alive .. she is my daughter for real , i was her mame , thats how much i loved her , i till do .. i need an advise please

  298. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dogs’ deaths…it’s heartbreaking. I can’t believe how long it takes to get over it — and some people never really “get over it.” Like me.

    Our dogs are always in our hearts, every time we see a dog we remember our lost dog. It’s sad…but we really have to focus on how great it was when they were alive, and trust that they’re in doggy heaven, romping with their best buddies…and they’re watching us with love in their eyes.

  299. Surinder says:

    Yesterday i lost my 3.11 years old BLACKY( A BLACK lAB).i am missing him badly. i cried almost whole night.I dont know what should i do bt i just cant live without him. I tried to save him.but failed and now m feeling that may be i could do more.

    My entire family cried ,which made me more sad.

  300. chris says:

    To Katheryne.So sorry.I spoke to people who have pets.It helps.I did a lot of crying in the first few weeks, still do.It has now been 6 weeks for me,really miss him,some days are worse than others.Try and keep busy and each day you will gradually feel a bit better.They are never far from yours thoughts.Let us know how you are going,Chris.

  301. Katheryne says:

    Dixie died yesterday. My parents gave her a mild tranquilizer before taking her to the vet… so she wouldn’t be scared. She was 17. She started getting lumps about a year ago, about 2 months ago the vet confirmed it was cancer. She was still wagging her tail at me last week when I saw her. You had to give a loud clap coming into the room so you wouldn’t startle her…she went deaf about a year ago. I know she was starting to suffer, and I know the pain is over now, but is it wrong that I wish she were here…to swat at me when I stopped petting her, and give a big huff when I wouldn’t share anymore ice cream with her (too much and she would barf…her tummy couldn’t handle the cold) I was in shock yesterday…I tried to go about my business today but I lost it at 2 am and I can’t stop crying. We got her when I was 8, about 6 months after Jack died. I didn’t think it would be this hard…it wasn’t with Jack…that I can rememeber. Again, I would have been 7…I guess coping is different then. I’m lost. My mom always told me she would have to tell me when I was away at college… that Dixie had passed away. Well that stubborn little poodle showed her…she made it through not one, but two University degrees. My mom has been warning me that it would be soon…but I didn’t realize how hard it would be. I can’t even imagine the pain ending. She was such a good little dog. She was the “nurse” when we were sick. Sharing the couch, the cartoons, and the popsicles (then throwing them up). She played with me, walked with me, sat with me, and loved me. I don’t know who to talk to. My boyfriend is wonderful, but never having had a pet he thinks that the best way to stop me from being sad is to tell me “not to think about it.” and I promise he isn’t being insensitive or cruel…he just doesn’t know what it’s like. I am so lost…and so sad.

  302. JVK says:

    Last Saturday afternoon, around 4:00pm, I had to have my best friend be put to sleep who has been my right arm for the past 13 and a half years. It was a shock. We knew he was getting old and slowing down, but he showed no warnings that cancer was taking over his body. We had just taken him to the vets recently, had him checked out, shots updated, teeth cleaned, and groomed. He had a great appetite and because I love to grill, he ate really good and was always close by. Saturday afternoon, I cooked hamburgers on my brand new grill. It smelled so good. Everything was great! But something was not right… Where is Java????

    I found him laying down in the house breathing heavy. He wouldn’t get up. He turned away from his hamburger. I turned 10 shades of pale. I had to pick him up for the first time to get into the car and my wife and daughter(who was only 2 when we brought him home as a puppy) rushed him to the vet.
    I thought, “great, he must have swallowed a bone or something. This is going to cost me. And right before Christmas!”

    Soon, I get the call. It isn’t good. Not good at all. They are taking X-rays. I get a second call 10 minutes later. My wife crying on the phone. “It’s not good. He has cancer throughout his entire body. His intestines are all pushed over to one side. His spleen is about to burst so he can’t even come home. They can operate, but it’s going to cost a lot of money, he may not make it through the operation and the cancer is in his lungs and so he will only live another month at the most anyway and we are going to have to do this again soon and he may be in pain. They recommend putting him to sleep now. You have to come down here NOW!”

    I hang up the phone and go out to the car. I start the car. I am feeling dizzy. I back the car out. But I can’t drive. I feel really hot and sick. I leave the car running in the drive way, run in the house and barely make it to the bath room. I get sick for I don’t know how long. I am on the floor trying to use my cell phone to call my wife but I can’t. I must have been in total shock because nothing like that has ever happened to me and I’m a 47 year old man. I finally am able to get up and go back out to the car. My cell phone is going off but I can’t answer it. Fortunately, the vet is only a couple of miles.
    By the time I get there, Java can not get up. He can barely lift his head to look at me. He is wimpering. We were all there as a family and we had to make the decision to do it right then and there. Java was not scared. He knew it was time. I said good bye, but I had to go out to the car when they actually did it. I couldn’t keep myself together.

    I am still in shock. I am consumed with grief. I just bought all these Christmas lights and I can’t put them up. I am devastated. I keep crying uncontrollably.

    Java was very unique. He was a big black dog with big white teeth and had a presence that couldn’t be ignored. He was half black lab and half Alaskan Husky. I bought him for $100 from an ad in the paper – I was looking to get a dog because my wife and I just started a family, a 2 year old girl and a 6 month boy and we were looking to buy a home on some land. It sounded like an interesting mix of breed and so I went to look. He was the last one left. The runt. All the pups were gone by the time we got there except him and another female who was spoken for. The female was much more perky and had the soft fur. But we couldn’t have her. Java was small, sleepy, and had this funny fluffy yet “wiry” fur. But both of the parents were present- both very well mannered and healthy dogs. The mother was a beautiful black lab and the father was a big, gentle, powerful Alaskan Husky. They gave us their blessing with a sniff and a lick so we went for it and took him home. The kids carried him in the back of the van and he was our dog now! Little did we know what was in store for us….
    We took him to the vet immediately and found out he was full of worms. After we de-wormed him, he became a completely different dog. There was just no stopping him and he grew and grew and grew! After a couple of years, he pushed out this incredible coat. He looked like a big black grizzly wolf. His tail was incredible and was a huge plume that curled up. He was pure black but he shined like silver. I loved to just bury my face in his neck.
    We did end up buying a home on 13 acres in the country. The property had an abandoned professional kennel on it from when some breeders owned it years before. We ended up renovating this kennel and turning it into a nice home business as an exclusive boarding kennel for people who wanted extra special care for their pets. We ran the kennel for 7 wonderful years and we absolutely could not have done it without Java. Java took over and ran the place like a champ. He was my right arm. He also protected and looked after my wife and the kids as they grew up so close to the wilderness. Countless stories!

    We sold the place four years ago and moved to a smaller house and of all things we got into the coffee business (hence: Java!). It was really hard on Java to leave the ranch for a small back yard. We lost one of our cats and we just were not happy living in such a tight space. So two years ago, we moved again to a home on one acre and it has been better for him. But he has never been the same. We know he has been slowing down some. But he was always the picture of health. We thought what a great life Java had on the ranch having the run of the kennel with so many friends coming and going all the time. We thought how good the timing was for all of us. We are all getting older. The kids are older. My daughter is now starting to drive. My son is spending more and more time with his friends. My wife and I are slowing down too so we sold the place to take it easy and cherish our memories that we had on the ranch while finish raising our kids in high school. At first we were a little afraid to move back to the city, but not with Java. He is always right there at our side. He always answers the door with us. He was a very nice and well behaved dog- he made friends with everyone, human or animal, fast. But one look at Java and people were usually on their best behavior. And Java never let anybody near his kids without letting them know he was watching.
    We had three cats that he loved. Two of the cats we bottle fed and Java helped keep them warm and taught them the ropes as they grew up. He never bit anybody except when he was playing gently. But he could rip any door down if he had to. He knew how to open gates. He was unstoppable if he had to be. And the other dogs knew right away who was boss.
    But he never injured another dog- he never had to.
    But he was my right arm. My rock. My best friend. And now he is just gone. Without warning.

    I have so many stories to tell it is unbelievable. I know I can’t tell them all here, but I really appreciate this site. I really helps to be able to read about others and to be able to write something out. But I am unfortunately still in shock and right now I don’t see how I am ever going to be able to get over it. He got under my skin like nobody else. He ripped my heart out. I know his spirit is around, I can feel him. But it is not the same. Life just isn’t fair. It is just too short. And I knew it when I brought him home that he would only live about 12 years. I just didn’t think it was going to go so fast. I guess I just forgot or I was just in denial about it. And I didn’t know I would love him so much. I thought I was just getting a dog. I thought I was just going to keep him in the back yard. I didn’t know he was going to come in the house and take my heart. I didn’t know I was going to need him and depend on him so much. And now it feels so empty and it hurts so bad and there is really not a darn thing I can do about it. I think in time, I will be able to get another dog some day. But not for a while. I have never felt such a loss before. I will try to focus on all the good times we had and keep it positive. I am trying to be positive for my family. But it is so hard.
    May God bless all of you who are experiencing this feeling. Other people just do not understand- especially people who don’t have pets. It must be some kind of right of passage or higher learning of the journey of life. Something that could have easily been missed. Something that hurts deeply, yet without any regrets. If I could, I would do it all again! Solder on!

  303. kelly says:

    I’m sorry… We did, and we let her go until we came home and she was laying in a pool of her own bile and fecal matter. At that point, a midnight run to the emergency vet clinic seemed in order, where euthanasia was prescribed and performed. It can take a long time for a dog to die on their own this way, if she’s not eating, then basically you’re talking about letting her starve to death. I understand you don’t want to feel responsible for ending her life. But, is it a kindness to let her hang on for a while, or even allow the cancer to spread and become really painful? For that matter, aren’t you prolonging your pain by waiting? It’s not an easy choice. Again, I’m sorry that you’re faced with this.

  304. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for sharing about your dogs here — it really is great to hear how you’re coping and what you’re going through. It helps us know we’re not alone.

    We people are all in it together in this world below, grieving our dog’s death…and our beloved dogs are in it together in a different, more peaceful world.

    May we remember them with love, joy, peace, and happiness.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  305. Chris says:

    To Susan.I know how you feel .I loss my little baby dog to an accident ,and went through the same thoughts. Time is the only thing. Dont rush in and get another dog until you have grieved . Give your other dog more attention.Mine happened on 25/10/10.My other dog is missing her mate and so am I.

  306. Susan says:

    We just lost out 17 month old Rottweiler, Rudy, today. He went missing a week ago and we put up flyers and searched and notified all of our neighbors, but we couldn’t find him. Until today. We live in a wooded area and we have alot of land, and we found him dead only 200 yds or so away from our house. Wild boars had disemboweled him. I have no idea what to do; I can’t stop crying. He was so young and innocent, he never tried to hurt anything, and now he’s gone. I’m only 16, and one of the hardest things to deal with is seeing how upset my father is (Rudy was his dog; and he was the dog we got after our 9 yr old Aussie Shepard was killed by wild dogs), so this just seem so cruel. The dog we got after a tragedy has now turned into one, and all I can think about is how young he was and how much life he had left to live. Also, our 6 month old mutt is lost without Rudy, he doesn’t understand why he’s gone. I just can’t stop crying, and I’m just so bombarded with memories of the quirky habits Rudy had and how his life was so full of potential. He was an absolutely gorgeous Rottie. Plus, I just don’t understand how life can be so unfair; we had just 4 months ago spent one month and nearly 2000 dollars nursing our beloved Rudy back to health after he got Parvo. I’m just so devastated.

  307. Nora says:

    Hi everyone,
    My sweetest angel, Lola went to heaven on a week ago today. She went into the backyard to potty, and my husband didn’t know the gardener had left the side gate open. For some reason, my baby ran straight into the street and was hit by a car. My husband heard and rushed her to the vet which is less than a mile from our home. The tried to save her, but the sweetest soul I’ve even known slipped away. My husband was with her. I got a frantic call and rushed home. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. When I saw her little body I felt as if the world stopped and the breathe was taken from me. The pain is immeasurable. My heart is crushed. I miss her so much, she was only 4 years old my Lola bear. Lola, I love you. Thank you for loving my sweet Teddy bear. Wait for me in heaven love. Daddy, me, coco and russ will meet you there sweetface! Xoxoxo

  308. Ali says:

    hello, Nash, my miniature schnauzer died 5 days ago. My mother took him to the vet to get neutered bc it prevents testicular cancer in the future. While he was getting the anesthesia he went into cardiac arrest. He was only 4 1/2 years old.
    Im having so many emotions about this, especially because this was the second tragic event with Nash. when he was 2 yrs old he escaped from my house and got hit by a car. The person that hit him left him there and someone came to my house to tell us. He lost one of his front legs. My mother and me did everything possible for him not to loose the leg. We gave him all sorts of physical therapy and exersices. We treated the injusry as if it was a person. Nothing worked and he lost all sensations on that leg, so it had to be amputated.
    He was a very happy dog. The situation about his leg made me love him even more because to him it was like nothing had happened. He was still the happiest dog and was always there for me and loyal. Always willing to play and to please. Always waiting for me when i got hime with a smile. He moved around as if he had 5 legs instead of three.
    Now i feel so guilty about what happened. i know it wasnt necessary for him to get neutered, but i would have felt worst in the future if something was wrong with him and i had done nothing in the past to prevent it. I have been batling for the past week over the decision. Im sure i will keep batling with it for a while.
    The day it happened my parents came to my house to tell me he had died. i couldn’t believe it. i wasnt able to talk the whole day. I took the dog a week earlier to my parents house bc i was not going to be home for a while, so they were taking care of him, but since my mom loved him so much i left him there a couple of extra days.
    Now, everytime im home i just keep staring at every spot in my house and think of something he did on that specific spot. it is very sad when i either leave or get home because he is not waiting for me anymore. it sucks not waking up in the morning to him looking at me and wanting to play with me and take him outside.
    Nothing can replace him and nothing that i have tried has prevented me from thinking about him the whole day, especifically when i wake up or when i go to bed, or during the day when im at my place wondering what would Nash be doing right now if he was here. i feel very guilty about the situation, especially when he literally was the happiest dog i had ever met. like my dad says “he was literally a human being” because he felt, cried, and smile as if he was a person.
    The one thing that has helped me is love from those around me. my family and closest friends know how important Nash was for me. everyone that visited me was looking forward to play with him when i had a get together at my place. my parents stayed with me the whole day that happened. and my friends have just given me great support. That has helped me greatly. It had also helped to know how much Nash was loved and how important he was to all my friends. They are all very sad too, but their support has been incredible.
    Im considering getting another schnauzer, because my experience with Nash and other schnauzers has been great. But I will not be trying in any way shape or form try to replace Nahs, he was unique. i would do so in like a year. Now is not a good idea. First because i will be leaving to go to work to another country for around 6 months and second bc I love Nash so much that dont think its fair for him. I think it would be disrespectful trying to bring another dog to my house so soon. Nash deserves better, he always did and he always will. Miss you and love you unconditionally Nash……A

  309. Stephanie says:

    My baby, the queen of my heart, the princess of my soul, Thalia, she died in my arms this past thursday october, 28th of 2010. She was the first being I saw each morning when I woke up, she was the sweetie pie of my life. Thalia was an angel. The mature baby in the house, first one to come, while the two other babies, Gian Gian and Gandhi were the last ones to arrive and they would always break stuff and play so much haha. We love them all in the house, though Thalia’s death was so unexpected. She was the first baby I ever carried in my arms, the one who fell asleep backwards in her pillow while I held her the first day I got her. The first one to ever amaze my whole life so much. I remember I would wake up in the early morning at times restless, and the thing that would calm me was seeing her there, either licking her pretty paws or sleeping like the angel she was.
    It’s been so hard having to deal with this, because mostly I wanted it to be different… but thing is you never really know how things will turn out. My baby got very sick with renal failure, I tried a lot, Reiki, visualizations, veterinarian hospitalization, natural remedies… the day I got her out of the doctor, she came home, that’s what she wanted the most. She had a hard time, she was very delicate… in the morning when I woke up I saw her jumping in her sheets… hours later when I took her to the vet we decided it was best to put her to sleep. I asked to the universe and her soul that it would be amazing for her to leave on her own, I didn’t want her to die because of an injection. I was waiting in the doctor’s room for attending pets, and suddenly I felt everything kicking in, so I started crying almost being breathless from the pain. Seconds after she was brought to me dying. I took out the strength from nowhere seen and told her it had been beautiful the life with her, that she could leave in peace, that I would always love her, and that we would always be together. Now it’s saturday, and I can tell it’s been hard but… I’m in the phase of a little more acceptance than before. I want the world to know all this because no animals deserve to suffer. We should be so careful with them and remember they are alive and feel too… they can be more important than us since we can take care of ourselves but… they can’t.
    I love you Thalia, the queen of my heart. I always be. I always will adore you. My baby.

    -SLCR-

  310. sabenina says:

    My beloved dog Hero passed away because he had hip cancer and we did not want him to suffer so we put him to sleep.i was very young like seven years old or eight years old and it was very hard for me and my family.We thought it would be nice to burry him in our backyard but my mother said “no because if we move we wont want to leave him behind”so we didint burry him in our backyard.then my dad just gave him to the animal hospital and they put him to sleep as i said earlier.To this day in our library we have the ashes of our beloved dog and hope to keep them.but when hero was still alive we had another dog named Precious and they used to snuggle toghether in hero’s bed.today since hero died a few years later we got another dog but we still have our dog named Precious and our other dogs name is Bella and she i a yorkie and Precious is a chiuaua and i hope nothing ever bad happens to them.

    REST IN PEACE:Hero Sayed Faiqe

  311. Barbara Kelemen says:

    I understand your pain and putting your dog to sleep due to serious illness. This video is referring to the irresponsible people who do not spay/neuter their pets, abandon them and buy from pet stores which support puppy mills.

    We must be aware of the problem but I bet there is a wonderful dog in a shelter missing his family as much as you miss your dog. You can’t replace him but I guarantee there is love in your heart for another. I have lost many also but honor him by loving another.

  312. Jordan says:

    Im sorry to hear about all of your losses i know how it feels and by the sounds of it the exact same thing has happened to Zuki as what happened to Brian Bell above. Today we had to get Zuki our beautiful, calm and caring dog put down. Yesterday we took her to the vets and Zuki was given a injection because she wasnt eating and we were told if she wasnt eating then bring her back in 2 days and if she was eating then a week. I thought she was going to get better because last night she started to eat things. Unfortunatley i came down this morning to find my mum clearing up her sick which had blood in it. I was heart broken and still am. We phoned the vets and they said bring her in so we tried to get her to walk out to the car but her back legs were giving way and she didnt respond to a word you said which was completley unlike her. We turned up at the vets and they said its bad, you can have her put down or take her home and it will get worse and she will start to feel a lot of pain. We chose what we know was the best option which was to put her to sleep. Me and my Mum held her and said our goodbye’s to her she then passed away peacefully and painlessly. We our so devistated about it because only 3 days ago my mum was taking her on daily walks and about a week ago i took her and my other dog down the field together and she was running around like normal. We dont want to remember the bad memories we have of our pets though we want to remember the good ones like when we had our first christmas with Zuki and we put the tree up and turned the lights on she ran over and knocked it over, and the first time we went to a river when we moved from the city to the country side i went to walk across the bridge with her so she decided to pull me so hard i let go of the lead and she swam across the other side. She always use to chase me on my scrambaling bike when i was younger. She always use to chase the cows that scared me when i was younger if they come to near. The house is just not the same without her. My other dog Tily doesnt know what to do she is crying for Zuki just like we all are. I hope Zuki is having fun up there with all the other dogs.
    Love you Zuki you were a brilliant dog

  313. brian bell says:

    On Oct 6th 2010 I had to put down my best friend. She helped me through a long divorce, the death of my Mother and loss of a few jobs.I always assumed from having other dogs who lived to be 14 and 15 years old that my beloved Golden Retriever Bailey would live a long life. She passed at 10.5 years old. On numerous occasions she had been sick from IBD but always bounced back. But this time I wasn’t as lucky and the end came very quickly from hemangiosarcoma, an insidious cancer that can take a healthy Golden and kill them in 4 days or less with no obvious symptoms until you find you beloved pet laying in your yard unable to move. I was horrified and in shock at how quickly the end came..Playing with her 4 days before with no signs of any overt health problems and then boom an ultrasound showed a mass on her liver. They said without surgery it would be a month. With surgery and Chemo 3 months. Well my beautiful blonde Golden had to be put down the day after I heard the news. Her tumor ruptured and I found her very weak laying in the rain in my backyard. The swiftness of this cancer left me with no time to say goodbye..I know I did the right thing for her..I was with her until the end. As hard as it was I did it for her. I wanted to make sure my face was the last thing she saw and my voice was the last thing she heard. I was with her to the very end and heard her last breath.. Humans should be able to die with such dignity. Her suffering is over. My suffering has been unbearable since Oct 6th. Goldens shed a lot and I’m still finding her hair in my house. She won’t be there to bark ( Bailey’s attempt at singing) when I played my drums.She wont be cuddled by my side on the couch watching a movie(her favorite ” Was A Dog Named Skip” or sleeping next to me in my bed. She is gone.. and so is my spirit. They say that the loss of your dog is tougher if your dog had been in your life while you have sufferred losses.It makes that bond so much closer.The empty house–brutal.. To see the dogs she use to walk with all about her same age out of the street with their lucky owners–brutal. I have never sobbed from the depths of my soul like I have these past few weeks. I knew this was going to happen eventually but to lose her so quickly has made me depressed and anxiety ridden. I’ve always had a tendency to think the other shoe was going to drop..And it sure did drop and left me in a haze, not able to sleep well or eat well. Man this is tough, tough. But she is in my soul now for the rest of my living days and soon I will be able to tell another very lucky dog how precious my Bailey girl was to me and all she had met. A sweet, funny, gentle soul.. That was my Bailey Dog.

  314. chris gordon says:

    My little baby dog was run over and killed outside my house 2 days ago .I am finding it really hard ,especially being my fault.He was 4years 6months.My other dog is the same age , they grew up together,she is sad to.Any suggestions ?

  315. Kyle says:

    Oh boy…well I’m 25 years old and dogs have always been a part of my life. But, it was when I turned 14 that my family decided to get me MY first dog.

    I picked out my best friend, Max, a beautiful, strong, white boxer. He turned out to be the best dog I ever could have imagined and really filled out family with so much joy. He was my best friend for a long time, before I really had many friends and I was still just an awkward freshmen in high school.

    I guess we grew up together really…and he was always my bud.

    I went off to college and he stayed to live with my parents and of course I visited all the time and he was part of that welcoming home that I came to know. My best friend and he always was so happy to see me. My parents and Max became extremely close as I was away and they had a much more empty house. He became like a shadow to my Dad and was always so kind and sweet to my Mom.

    Well, it’s almost 11 years later and although Max had some health problems he seemed to be okay…just getting older at age 10 1/2. Unfortunately, while on a business trip I found out he was not okay anymore. Max had severe heart cancer with two tumors, and I knew instantly what that meant. Although I cannot type it at this time, I am sure you understand. Boy, I’m trying not to cry so much here as I stay late to work typing this. Luckily, my co-workers left early today.

    My parents graciously told the vet they wanted to wait one day so I could come say goodbye to my old friend, which I did. It was incredibly painful–both having to say goodbye forever and seeing my parents in so much pain as well. I suppose I tried to keep it together to give them strength and I knew they wouldn’t want to see me upset. When I was saying goodbye to Max though and I hugged him and told him it would be okay…and I was getting ready to go back to my apartment…I pretended I had to goto the bathroom.

    I didn’t have to goto the bathroom, but I actually just completely lost it. I cried and cried and cried…but I didn’t want my family to know, because they were so sad already.

    Driving home, I really was having a hard time and just crying uncontrollably. Which is okay, absolutely. I’m not afraid to do so at all. I decided to goto my girlfriend’s house and spend time with her…and after much crying and talking I guess I felt a little peace for the night. She helped to get my mind onto another subject and I was okay for a bit.

    The next day is when the vet was coming to our house for Max. I was at work, but my parents both took off to spend their last hours with Max.

    I suppose sub-consciously I was blocking out or preventing myself from thinking of my lost friend, perhaps because it’s so painful. I was doing fine all day, really just absorbed in a very busy work day. Then, I received an e-mail from my Dad at 5 PM and I think it may have been the saddest e-mail I ever read. Although it was truly harmless. Below in e-mail, Lu, is a bulldog that passed a few months ago at age 5…she had a malformed heart from birth and lived to age 5. That dog I wasn’t close to particularly but it was quite difficult for my parents. Now they had Max pass rather suddenly and unexpectedly and it’s very traumatic to them. I guess to me more than I realized also.

    _________
    Kyle,

    Max went out very peaceably. He rested all day today and I finally got him to eat some fried chicken.

    The house seems very empty with both Lu and Max gone.

    Take care. We love you.

    Dad and Mom
    ____________

    Man…I was doing okay but when I read that I just instantly burst into tears and I cannot stop crying. As I said, my co-workers aren’t here…but I have a conference call after-hours which was supposed to begin in 5 minutes. Boy, I just don’t think I could hold it together and deal with the call anymore–but luckily it’s running late and maybe won’t even have to happen.

    I feel like my boss or co-workers wouldn’t understand how torn up I personally am with the situation…so I don’t know maybe it makes me feel confused. I told my parents that I thought I was perhaps sub-consciously in denial to some extent, because it was too painful to think about currently. I told them that right now I didn’t feel like I was ready to talk about Max, because I just couldn’t hold it together…and I felt so very sorry for them.

    I don’t think I’ve really ever felt grief like this, which I suppose means I lived a blessed life and truly loved my friend.

    But, I feel bad that maybe my parents won’t understand. I am not trying to not talk about Max or be there for them–I just don’t think I can do this now! Is this normal? Maybe I just need to let go and know it’s okay to lose it. I feel that some people don’t understand, but those that knew our family well understood how much a part of our lives Max was. It would be just as if I had to say goodbye to my little brother or best friend knowing they wouldn’t be alive the next day from cancer.

    Devastated and confused in Texas…suppose I’d love to hear anything and I think it was good to just type this and share. Wow…

    Kyle

  316. Cynthia Phillips says:

    I cannot eat and can only cry. My heart is broken and I don’t know how to repair it. We lost our baby last Monday. She was a beautiful five pound toy poodle named Kitten and was the center of our world. I feel no guilt in her death. She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure at the age of ten and began medication. As her condition worsened more medication was added and at the time of her death, she was taking 4 different medications every six hours. We stayed up until midnight and rose by six to give her her medicine. For this effort we were given an extra three and a half years. We took her to the vet in February and we were told she wouldn’t make it two more months. She hung in there for eight.
    I travel a great deal but my husband is retired so he bore a great deal of responsibility for her and loved her every bit as much as me. My first question during phone calls was always “How is Kitten? Did she take her medicine? Did she eat?” He and she would often travel with me and this dog had many, many more air miles than most people. My biggest fear was that I wouldn’t be with her at the end. But I, knowing her better than anyone, knew when the end was coming. We took her to the vet on the previous Friday agreeing to euthanize her if the vet recommended it, but he said she was still bright eyed and to hang on. But I knew she had quit eating and the end was near. There was no way I would go to work and leave her. We spend the whole weekend in bed with her-one of her favorite places. We had to drive 3 hours on Monday as we were returning my daughter’s poodle for whom we were baby sitting. I cuddled by little Kitten on my chest the entire 3 hour ride. She walked for our pit stops but I had known for a couple of weeks that her heart could not go on. You could hear it slamming in her little chest with out even touching her. I knew it was bound to exploud. When we got to my daughter’s house. she made a pit stop. I then placed her in her bed to unload the car and in a couple of minutes when I looked at her, I knew it was the end. Both her daddy and I were with her as she had a massive heart attack. She seemed to be unconscious very quickly and did not cry in pain. We petted and talked to her the entire time. It was exactly the kind of passing that I wanted. I talked calmly as she never liked it when she knew that I was upset. We took her to the vet close to my daughter to have her cremated and her urn arrives tomorrow. It reads: Kitten March, 1997-October, 2010 Always the Baby Girl Forever in our Hearts We will pick her ashes up Saturday.
    I loved her so much. I knew I was going to lose her. I knew she was in worse shape than the vet thought. I did not lose her in some of the tragic ways others did. Yet I cry and do not feel I can go on.

  317. Greg Huntington says:

    I lost my Casey this morning. An Irish Terrier full of spirit and energy, but showing signs of congestive heart failure 6 months ago and living to only 6 1/2 years old. His med enabled him to live a few extra months of quality life. Unfortunately, dogs don’t make good heart patients. As I would spike up meds to relieve fluid buildup, he felt great, ran like a puppy and the vicious cycle would repeat given the strain on his heart. But he lived and enjoyed the moments with his Labrador companion until the end.

    There are two things I am trying to focus on to deal with this massive grief:

    1. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO GRIEVE, CREDIT THE QUALITY NOT THE QUANTITY THEY GAVE – I feel sorry for Casey given his loss of what I expected to be many more years of life (my last Irish Terrier lived to 14) … but I realize he never had that expectation, only me. What counted most is his day to day enjoyment and my comfort/care of him to the end. So it helps me to know he never felt short-changed on life in any way. As for my personal sadness, I just keep telling myself that it’s all proportional to the wonderful gifts he shared with me via his life and personality. It’s perfectly fine to cry, talk and miss him … let it roar, just like all the good times he created. I tell my kids to do the same. We must acknowledge his loss before we can move forward.

    2. I have a startup business that’s music related and serves the Music Therapy field among others. It’s based on ukuleles and I too have a WordPress blog. Over the past few months, I’ve practiced what I preach by strumming my uke with my doggies. Even last night, sitting out on the deck and hours before his passing, I was strumming “If you’re happy and you know it, wiggle your tail” and he wagged his tail. They always respond to that song and respond as if they’re an elementary school group! Music has it’s own powers of connecting and healing, and while it’s very hard for me to play that song just right now, I plan on using it to stir up those positive memories time after time after time. I’m hoping the tears will evolve into memories of joy.

    Greg

  318. Jennifer says:

    Dear Zach, I am so sorry about your dog, Cooper. You must feel awful and sad and guilty, and it’s is probably unbearable. Copper loved you and he knows that you loved him very much. You heart was always in the right place when it came to your dogs. You’ll just have to ride these feelings out, it’s part of mourning and part of life. Unfortunately you and your family are experiencing a real tragedy now.

    If Cooper had been the young man and you were the dog, and if you were the one who was enjoying a collar-free moment of blissful chase in the yard and were struck like that, would you want Cooper to beat himself up about it forever while you watched him from heaven? I’m sure you would want Cooper to take a deep breath and of course feel very sad and miss you, but not be tortured with feeling like he wasn’t good to you. You were friends and you loved each other. The spirit of Cooper will never die.

    It helps to let all your crying flow free whenever possible! Writing about it is also very good. When my dog died I felt so sad and guilty. At night when I was up late I would write notes to him, telling him how much I loved him and how I wished he was still here, and I would put them in a special place for him, in the basket with his chew toys.

  319. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    What a mixture of sad and happy, in these last few comments! Jennifer shared her sad feelings when her dog died…and now she’s moved on to a new stage — welcoming a new dog into her life. Jennifer, thank you so much for sharing your new joy!

    And, I’m so sorry for everyone else who lost their dog. A dog’s death is so hard to get over, no matter how many tips for healing from pet owners you read. I hope you feel better soon.

    I have to resort to the old cliche: time will heal your heartache and wounds. It takes time to get over your dog’s death, but you will…and maybe you’ll one day welcome a new dog into your life.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  320. Jennifer says:

    Kiwi is here! When he first got here I got him some water and we went right over to Darby’s memorial altar where we cried together and he sniffed all of Darby’s things and pressed himself against me. He is a good pal, just like the people around me who have been good pals. I’m glad he’s not at the kennel.

    For those of you torn over feelings of wanting a dog pal and not ready to commit to a dog in your life, I suggest occasional dogsitting :-)

  321. Jennifer says:

    It’s been 4 weeks since we put down our precious Darby. I adopted Darby from a foster shelter 12 years ago when he was 6 months old. He was with my most of my adult years so far, from age 23 to 35. It has been so difficult, the pain, sadness, emptiness. Someone said to me recently that the pain never goes away… you just, adjust to it. I can certainly relate to that, as I don’t see how this pain will ever entirely leave me, unless Darby magically re-appears! I have had much guilt, which is fading but still comes back to haunt me at night as it comes closer to bedtime. Still it’s so raw and surreal and hollow in my heart and soul. Still I have nights that I am still up at 4am, replaying scenarios and doing the what ifs into eternity.

    Today I found out that a neighbor who’s little dog was pals with my dog is going out of town. She told me that her dog Kiwi is staying in a boarding kennel for the weekend, and I offered to have the dog stay with us instead. Her eyes lit up. “Really? Kiwi would love that!” I had thought that it might be nice to spend time with a dog here and there, but certainly not commit to a new dog in our lives. Now I guess this scenario is what is keeping me up at 4am. I am already feeling guilty for even having another dog here, thinking about tomorrow when I will pick him up is filling me with anxiety, like I am commiting a betrayal… how could I enjoy a weekend with this dog wen Darby is gone, dead, unable to enjoy the weekend himself? Especially since I was the one who put him down? I was responsible for his health and well-being… and he’s gone, forever. My sweet little Snuggs. I regret taking this weekend. I am stuck with it.

    I can calm myself a bit by reminding myself that it will be so much nicer for Kiwi to be at our house rather than at a kennel. That Darby was his friend and would want Kiwi to be happy. And especially, that when Darby was alive I made ever effort to arrange a sitter or friend’s house for him to stay, and avoided kennels almost completely. In fact, one of my guilty scenarios I replay these days at 4am involves a stressful kennel experience Darby had as an older dog who deserved better. I had no options for a 2 night getaway I wanted to take with my husband so I tried a very nice kennel with live webcams… and watched him stressed out and upset from my hotel room, wanting to just come home and get him! Yet this is another guilt trap. If Darby had to live through that, why does Kiwi get to come cozy up in Darby’s house instead of going to the kennel? I guess because we always just have to do what’s right and be considerate and thoughtful of others, people and dogs. At times, indulging in guilt can be just that – indulgent. Just because it’s painful doesn’t mean it’s selfless. What sense would it make for me to spend the weekend in satisfied that I am not guilty while Kiwi hangs out at the kennel?

    There is a lot to be said, however, for allowing all of these feelings to play themselves out. They will eventually morph, change, and fade. They do need to be dealt with, I think. Many people have told me not to feel guilty, to remind myself that I did the best I could, that I was a good mom, a great mom, that Darby had a great life. I know that this is mostly true. It’s as true and me saying I’ve had a great life, and that my family was good to me. Mistakes have been made by all, and we are all works in progress, constantly learning from our mistakes. I guess now that I have committed to babysitting Kiwi this weekend, I will choose not to make the mistake of giving less to that commitment than I would like someone to have given Darby in my absence. I would have wanted Darby to have the best love and care in the world. And I can’t see or feel it now, at 4am, but maybe it will fill the little hole in my heart just a tiny bit, without adding too much extra guilt. If it does create guilt, that will be the price that I will pay for the comfort of another deserving little dog.

  322. Zach says:

    Our family dog cooper Died yesterday, he is a 5 year old german sheppard. he was the family favourite of all other dogs and got hit by a car. i feel guilt because i am home alone and i let my two dogs out, cooper and sadie(3 year old golden retriver) and didnt put there electric fence collars on and he went to far when chasing something under our deck a think and ran out of a bush and a car hit him. It wasnt the cars fault because the lane beside them were blocked from this police stopping. I though blaming cooper would work but i feel worse. and last time we seperated cooper and sadie apart for a week with a vacation (cooper was too big for our van, saide lost 25 pounds or so because of not eating and depression so im worried. im 16 with younger sisters and i cant help feel responsiable because of all the saddness. this info only talked about putting a dog down…so i wanted to know about dogs getting hit by a car.

    Thank-you for any responses-Zach

  323. jackie says:

    im so sorry bout squirt. he is at rest and will be walkin gwith you in spirit. you are a lovely person for having the feelings you have after such a loss. squirt sure had a great owner. have agood cry whenever you feel the need. think of squirt and he’ll be with you. in time you’ll think of all the fun stuff you did with him and you’ll smile. till then, every day get through as best you can. bless your heart x

  324. Hannah says:

    my dog Squirt died today. he would’ve been 6 in 1 month and 5 days. Squirt died in his own backyard. he was mauled by a german shepard that we were looking after near our back door. squirt was so small compared to the german shepard. we took squirt to the vets straight away. we had to leave him there. around lunchtime, i eavesdropped on my mum on the phone, and found out squirt’s kidney had been sliced in half! he had to be put down. like drake, im only 12, not even. why is life so unfair. my other dog was old, blind and deaf. no offencce to him but why didnt he die? why did it have to be squirt, the little dog everyone loved? he was perfect! he always looked good and was obedient, even though he only knew how to sit. i wish we didnt let him out this morning. liam let him and he was watching the notebook with her. we had to go to my grandmothers house so we put him out side with the other dogs. liam and oliver went out side and kira and squirt started fighting over the boys. we got to say goodbye to squirt at 2:00. he was on a anethinc’s i think thats how u spell it and couldn’t see or hear us. when the vet left i took her stephoscope and put it near squirts heart after they’d put him down. his heart was still beating! (i think it was his heart) just 1 or 2 hours ago, i looked up kidney transplants on dogs and found out that dogs can live on 1 kidney, just like people! does that mean squirt could’ve lived? life just doesn’t seem fair anymore and i know people will get annoyed at me at school for not talking and keeping to myself. i dont want to tell people thats all. it also helps to just run up to the mountain when no ones looking. helps calm you down. i did it today (and got swooped)
    I LOVE YOU SQUIRT MORE THAN WORDS COULD EVER SAY AND EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY I’LL ALWAYS THINK OF YOU R.I.P luv Hannah Bear

  325. sharon says:

    I lost my Jack russell Zulu on Friday , he drowned in the pool and i found him lying there.
    I can’t get over the pain , he was only 2 yrs old.
    No one understands the hurt im feeling at home, i get told animals don’t go to heaven. They tell me it’s just a dog, worry about your own son… How can people have no feelings ????
    I really loved my Zulu, he was my best friend, made me laugh. Feels like i’ve lost a piece of me …
    How will i get over the pain, i hate looking at the pool

  326. Kozydogs says:

    Thank you for this great information on when your pet dies. When we lost my lab Cuervo over a year ago, we were never going to get another dog. No dog could replace him. As time went by we changed our mind and decifed to get another lab, which we weren’t to sure of because he was the same breed and all. But you know it worked out great our new lab named “Turbo” has been the best thing we could have done it has help us to not grieve so mych about Cuervo anymore and he has brought so much joy and love into our home. It was the best thing we could have done, it is so nice to see a loveable dog running up to greet you again!

  327. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Robin,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your beloved dog. I wish I had the right words to ease your heartache and pain.

    Remember him with love, joy, and all the great moments you had together.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  328. Robin Fischer says:

    We lost our Dalmatian Pookie 13 yrs old, yesterday Sept 8, 2010. We had to have him euthanized. It was so hard. He was my best friend. He was always there for me. He was my shadow. We have had him since he was 5 weeks old. He died from nasal cancer. We had him operated on in February 2010. But it finally came back. He got to the point where he could not breathe. He could only breathe when he was sitting up or walking. He was so tried because he could not go to sleep without choking because he could not breathe through his nose. So we thought it was time. I thought maybe he would come back from it but we could not let him suffer. We used to go walking all the time and stop my Wendy’s. He knew when we got in the parking lot he would start whining. He also loved the water. We have a swimming pool. So he would go swimming all the time. I don’t know how to go on without him. There is so much more to tell but I just cannot stop crying.

  329. Pamela Allan says:

    I lost my GSD Zoe who was 8 to cancer last week, I am totally devastated,it all seemed to sudden. My husband and I went on holiday on 10th July for ten days and my daughter and mother told me that she seemed to pine more than usual while I was away and had been off her food for longer that usual. She seemed to be fine at first when we arrived home but I noticed that when I had her for her walks I would turn round and she would be sitting or lying down wanting to go home, then I noticed that she was had lost weight and that she seemed to stagger when she walked. I made an appoint for the vet and my daughter and I took her on the Monday, the vet asked the symtoms and also weighed her, she prescribed antibiotics and also took blood tests as she was on metacam for athritis which can affect kidneys. The vet phoned the following day to tell me kidneys etc were all fine but her white cell count was up and due to other symptoms felt she needed to take x rays of stomach and abdomen under anaesthetic the next day. I dropped Zoe off the next morning and was told to get her at about 4.45pm. I got a call at 1.00pm from the vet and she told me my amazing dog was still under anaesthetic and that she had a large tumour in her intestines and secondary cancer in her lungs and she felt due to this she believed it would be best for my dog not to be brought back from anaesthetic. I went up to see her for the last time and said goodbye it has been awful I felt how did I not know? the poor baby,apparently this cancer when symtoms start to show they usually have around 4 to 5 weeks left. I miss my dog so much I dont know what to do with myself. My husband got me my GSD when I was medically retired with MS and she has got me out every day for talks and kept me fit even when I had a bad day. I feel she is still here with me but I am so alone. I loved Zoe with all my heart and dont know what I will do without my big giant furball. Missing you loads Zoe. I thank you for this site it helps. X

  330. Bob L says:

    We lost our wonderful 11 year old Bichon Frise “Romeo” late last Saturday night to a coyote attack. He was a dear member of our family and grew to young adulthood with our kids. We live in suburban southeastern wisconsin and just weren’t vigilant enough in protecting our Romeo. He deserved better. My wife and I are heartbroken. I can’t think of my pal without weeping. I can’t bring myself to sit in the chair in the family room where we sat together nightly while I scratched his ears and he licked my face. In time I hope the grief that fills our thoughts turns to fond memories or Romeo and we’re able to reach the point where we can bring another dog into our life

  331. Connie says:

    My husband and I are the parents of two grown sons, aged 32 and 29. Our oldest son brought home our beautiful Kelly, a black and white part cocker and part ??, when he was just out of high school. He had hid her in the basement because he wasn’t sure we would want a dog. Needless to say, we all immediately fell in love with her and kept her. I named her Kelly because I never had a daughter and wanted to give her a girl’s name that I liked. I always joked that she was my daughter and even gave her my middle name for her middle name. “Kelly Ann”. She had been with us for 13-1/2 years. My sons have since both moved from home but of course left Kelly with us, which is definitely the way I wanted it anyway. About 2-1/2 years ago she started into congestive heart failure and we were able to keep her going with a few different medications, until just two days ago, July 27, when we knew it was time to have her put down as she was starting to fail and we didn’t want to wait until she got worse and was having trouble breathing etc. Even though my husband and I know it was the best thing for her, it is the hardest thing we have ever done. We have both lost our parents and other family members, but there is something different about having to put an animal to sleep that is even harder than going through the family members’ deaths. Right now I can’t bear to look at pictures of her and have put away most of her things, beds, bowls, etc. I feel just so distraught and want to just crawl out of my skin so I don’t feel the pain. It is the most heartwrenching thing I’ve had to go through. I don’t ever want to go through this again so I have told my husband “no more animals”, even though I’m an animal lover and know how many animals are out there that need good homes, like ours. Thank you for this platform, it has helped to read all the stories of all who have gone through similar things with their pets, it’s sad but at the same time helps to know that others are going through the same thing.

  332. Mike says:

    My almost 16 year old yellow lab died in his sleep 10 days ago. Even though he had some arthritis in his back and was losing some hearing and a little eyesight, he was still eating heartily, drinking, barking and an important member of our family. We are empty nesters but both of my children were home visiting the weekend he died. I am so grateful that he waited for all of us to be together and that they could see him in his final rest. I know we will eventually get a new companion and we will love him but I am just not ready. I’m sure I’ll know when I am.

    RIP Sandy Boy

    Thank you so much for this forum.

  333. cosette says:

    Judy, I completely understand your emptiness- I lost with my 13.5 yr old, 95 lb yellow lab, 22 months ago. I had a significant grief reaction for many months. The “hole” inside me remains, but rather than constantly aching, it is a reminder of the precious relationship which I was so very lucky to have in my life. I learned so very much from him, and I know he will be the best partner I will ever have.
    I can only acknowledge what your are feeling.
    -Cos’ grateful partner.

  334. Judy says:

    My beautiful and loving yellow lab, Max, died on Saturday during surgery to repair a twisted stomach. My heart is aching. One minute he was fine and the next he was starting to bloat. I got him to a vet as soon as possible. He would have died without the surgery so there was no choice to make. He had to have it. There is a hole in my heart for this wonderful dog. At 120 lbs., he was a large presence in this house! Not exactly a couch potato, but he had to be in whatever room I was in. He always knew when it was mealtime and would come and sit by my side to let me know. If I didn’t respond, he would bark a time or two just to remind me. He was only 11 and in great health. Just a touch of arthritis. I have an older black lab, Beau, who is also grieving. They have been together since puppies. I got Beau about 9 months before my son, Matthew, died at the age of 22. I got Max 6 months after Matthew died. These dogs are what made me get out of bed every day and keep going. I have been with them 24 hrs a day for years. Now, there’s an emptiness here that is hard to fill. I don’t usually post on websites, but I thought if anyone would understand, it would be the kind and thoughtful people I have read about here. Thank you for being understanding about my ramblings.

  335. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Drake, thank you for the rainbow bridge link — it’s a wonderful, sad way to say good-bye when your dog (or cat) dies.

    I hope your cat is doing better these days….it’s so hard to lose the ones we love.

  336. Drake says:

    Our babies never leave. They just can’t use their body anymore. Their spirt is by us always.

  337. Drake says:

    My cat knows. Every night she curls up in a ball by our door. She rarely comes out anymore. She looks thin and haggered. If she has to go be with her mother and sister I understand, but it’ll hurt… On the cite tap my baby is gone page one.

  338. Drake says:

    forums.rainbowsbridge.com/?forum=150830Thank you. I don’t know if you’ve read this poem but for some reason after reading it I felt as if someone had lifted a weight of of me. That is a really good site and I cried for every dog there. I still rember her it hurts I am sad, but not as much. From one of my favorite books: “There are two parts when someone dies: The mourning of their passing and the celebration of their life. I have a buetiful black lab baby, Cayman. Thank you for the support.

  339. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Drake,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your loss…it’s so sad. I wish I could say or do something to help you.

    How would she want you to remember her? I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to be sad, depressed, and heartbroken. She’s in a better, happier place now — without any pain or sickness. She’s not suffering anymore, and she’s in peace.

    Her life is over, and it’s a good thing. She was very sick. It was her time to leave. I’m sure she’d want you to remember her with peace, joy, and good memories of your time together.

    As time passes, you’ll feel better. Right now, you need to grieve and mourn your dog’s death. Be sad, cry, and write down your feelings. Eventually, you’ll feel good and happy again…and you’ll remember her with fondness and joy. And, maybe you’ll be ready for a new dog to love.

    I wish you all the best, and my heart breaks with yours.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  340. Drake says:

    My dog Coalette of 15 years had to be put to sleep 3 days ago. She had been weak and pantinh, her chest was heaving, and we had no idea how bad it really was. She was going deaf and had bad vision but she was old and I understood that she wouldn’t be here forever. One night I was reading in my room Syren and my dad came up and said “Drake come downstairs, I need to show you something.” I went down and on her favorite pillow there she was gasping for breath and breathing heavily. She had had surgery to get a tumor in her stomach and was weak, but we knew she could still walk around. For 2 days we hand fed her water and beef broth (that gives energy to any dying dog, so use that not meat) it was horrible. Finally my dad took her to the vet. Things got worse. She had tumors all over her body. What we had always thought were bug bites turned out to be tumors. She was in horrible pain, had heartworms, and her hips were weak and unstable. I had been made to stay at home and I wouldn’t have gone either. Dad came back and told me she was being creamated and that she had put her to sleep. Please someone help me through this, I am only 12 years old! I loved her and I miss the pitter patter of her claws on the floor, how smelly she was, the sound of her laping up water, her eating my sandwiches, being a roadblock in the hall, her poop, EVERYTHING. Please someone help my black lab of 15 years who passed away near fathers day. It hurts so much…

  341. Val says:

    I have been reading all of the stories on here and crying so hard. I truly feel for each and every person on here who has lost a pet. I am a bit embarrassed to say it has been a little over 3 years since I lost my heart and soul, McKenzie, my little lab mix. I had her for 12 years and would have done anything for her. I joke I would have eaten her poop if it would have kept her well. I think most people understand that. The pain does become less intense over time, but the strength of the love remains. I went through tough times where I tried to adopt and had to return the dogs. Each time this happened, I was devastated and saddened about returning them. I don’t trust myself now as far as knowing if I am ready. My head says yes, and my heart says no. I know all about loss. My mom, my best friend, died when I was in my 20’s. I was told that might be the most significant loss in my lifetime. In my mind, you can’t get another mom. And, I tend to think that way about a dog. I know you are not replacing, but each time I brought one home, it felt like they were in her house. Someone told me “you don’t want a dog…you want your dog back.” I have a cat right now and am not a cat person. She was in the family and needed a home. I have had her 3 months but don’t really consider her mine since she is my sister’s cat. Maybe that helps in allowing me to love her. I hate to think I may be one of those people who can’t open their heart again to love. I miss having a dog…but I miss having my dog. Sometimes I feel alone with these emotions as it seems most people are able to move on. I just don’t know how they do it.

  342. Karen says:

    Our 3 year old sheltie, Mikey, was lost to a bull mastiff attack on May 8th. My husband and 2 youngest daughters were walking him on a leash by our community’s lake and he was attacked by an unleashed bull mastiff at the lake with 3 children. No adult supervising these children. They were trespassing and were not residents of our community. The dog’s owner, originally cooperative and accepting responsibility, has now stopped answering our calls. I will not let this happen again, so I contacted the state.
    Mikey’s spine was severed right in front of my daughters. I rushed him to the vet as soon as my husband called me, but the injuries were to extensive.
    We were in the middle of moving when that happened, and although Mikey never came to our new house, I feel him here. I cry every day, especially now that we are unpacked and I am no longer distracted by moving deadlines.
    I am lost, my kids are lost.
    We have cats, they have been a great source of comfort.
    We are considering an adult Sheltie. We will never replace our dear Mikey, so full of spirit and enthusiasm. But we have love to give a dog.
    I have been so moved by all of your stories that I had to post my own.

  343. Drew says:

    I just had to put my 12 year old Rotti to sleep a few days ago. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I know it was best for him. Cain was was so uncomfortable it would have been selfish of me to keep with us. I know I will see him again and when I do he will have his ball in his mouth and wagging his little nubby tail and butt! I read a lot of the comments left by others and i wanted to say thank you, your words have helped me a lot. I cant say Im over the loss of my Cain but I can say I have accepted his loss, as much as it sucks… Im am just thankful for the 12 amazing years we shared together.

  344. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Liz,

    I am so sorry to hear about your dog’s death…it’s so sad. It sounds like she was a part of every aspect of your life, and now she’s gone.

    That’s great that you’re trying to focus on the joy you shared — but I encourage you to cry and be sad about your loss. Sometimes the best way to mourn is to go through our emotions, instead of trying not to face them. Experiencing feelings of grief and pain is difficult, but healthy in the long run…

    I wish you all the best.

    Blessings,
    Laurie
    .-= Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen´s last blog ..Pay Off Your Mortgage – 5 Ways to Make Mortgage Payments Go Away post =-.

  345. Liz says:

    My beautiful chocolate lab girl only 2 – died 3 days ago – due to a car – and I am inconsolable. I feel like I have lost a child. One minute she was on the couch with her head in my lap, and then she went outside – as she does everynight for a pee and a walk around – we live on a rural property, with a long driveway far from the road – I never never thought she would go up there. At night we always kept her inside and she always stayed close to me, slept under my bed. When we did walk up the drive I always made her stop way before the road, get her lead on and then we could proceed
    But for some reason the other night she went all the way up to road, maybe there was a dead possum there. And I was wrapped up writing a letter to one of my sons and did not check or call her in soon enough ! within 5 minutes of being on the couch with me she was hit and injured. I took her to the vet immediately but she did not make it and was dead on arrival! I feel so so so so so bad I wish I had gone out with her. But we always have a door open for her to go outside, and she always comes straight back in.
    I feel like I am living a nightmare and I just want to wake up and have her back! I loved her so much, she was our first dog and my 10 year old son is also devastated. I miss her smell, and her beautiful warm body, and her paws, and her ears, and her smile.. She was a member of our family. We have had a burial for her and put her under a tree by the pond she loved to swim in.. everywhere I look I see where she should be! under my feet in the kitchen, by the fire…I can’t sleep because I can’t here her snoring. It is the most horrible feeling I have ever had…
    I feel like getting another puppy exactly like her – I want to put all this love into another being as soon as possible –
    I found out that the pair who made her have had another litter that will be ready to come home in 8 weeks and that is the only glimmer of hope I see… we would then get her full sister.. . in the meantime I am trying to only think of the joy we had and what a good life she had, she was very very very loved and looked after – I miss her sooooo much !

  346. #1 and #3 are most important. I had a beautiful chinese crested. When she died I bought another one. It was so different from my first that I never really took to her. Eventually, she went to live with my daughter.

  347. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Diane,

    I’m so sorry to hear about Vida…and I thank you for sharing your beautiful story of unconditional love. She lives on not only in your heart, but the hearts of all the people who read your story.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  348. Diane Whitehead says:

    In Memory of Vida…………. 2003 – Died March 13, 2010

    It’s been five weeks since I last snuggled with her. As I gaze upon her grave in the backyard, there is such a yearning to see her again. I believe God put dogs on this earth to show mankind what unconditional love is all about. Let me explain.

    Two years ago as I was undergoing treatment for cancer, I was racked with nausia and vomiting after chemo. I would be stretched out over my bed, sick and weary. Vida would sit on my bed with me, sometimes licking tears off my face as I complained how aweful I felt. Weeks turned into months, and my lethargic body lay limp with fatigue. And then there was Vida-stretched out next to me, snuggling closer and closer by the hours. She was a vital dog, strong and powerful. Her breed was a Presa Canarie Mastif, rumored to be a violent type of dog. But Vida was gentle and powerfully loyal, and I loved her so much. She could have been playing and romping in the backyard, but she stayed by my side like a loving friend. There were times I would swear she could read both my feelings and my thoughts. The sicker I was, the closer she became.

    Animals don’t demand much. Just returned love, food, water and shelter. In turn, they give so much more. When I looked into her eyes, I could feel the love she returned to me.

    Three months before her death, she was diagnosed with acute renal failure. She was only seven years old, so the diagnosis was hard to take. We expected to have her five to seven years longer. She was nursed by my daughters and son, as well as us. She had IV drips and a special diet. She never complained. She went between my home and my daughters home. We worked closely with our vet to help expand her life as long as possible. For awhile, she didn’t even seem sick. But then the day came when she could not eat or drink water. She was sick and nauseaded and threw up anything we tried to feed her. The doctor did blood work, and comfirmed the worse.

    We knew we had only one thing left we could do for her. We placed her in my bed, the same bed where she layed with me through my sickness, and made her comfortable. We gave her eyedroppers of water and snuggled closely with her. We looked into her intent eyes and sent her love. We talked to her, and whispered affectionate words of gratitude to her. Someone was with her for the next few days around the clock. She was never alone. The final morning arrived, and each one in the family sat on the bed rubbing her sick body. The tears began to fall. She was too weak this time to lick them, but she gazed at us in loving thankfulness. The time had come for the doctor to injet her with the medicine that would end her final day. With heavy hearts, we watched as the morphine did its job. Her body was lifeless. She was gone. My son wrapped her in her favorite blanket, and lifted her body from the bed.
    Her grave had been dug. Jesse gently walked her down to her final resting place. It was over. She was gone from us, but remains in our hearts forever. She was a blessing from God, a gift to show our family what unconditional love really looked like.

  349. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Bruce,

    I’m so sorry that you lost your dog, and that your new pet hasn’t helped you heal. It does take time to mourn after your dog dies, and a “replacement” pet doesn’t always help — as you’ve learned!

    One suggestion is to set up a different routine and life than you had with Smokey. That is, don’t try to treat him the way you did Smokey. Change it up by taking him on different walks (for example, go jogging or cycling instead of walking), or teaching him different tricks, or volunteering him and you at a local children’s hospital or senior’s retirement home. The idea is to create a special bond or connection with your new dog — DIFFERENT than the one you had with Smokey.

    And, give yourself time to fall in love with your new pet. Talk to him about Smokey; tell him how much you wish Smokey was here. Be honest with him about how you feel, and ask him to help you connect. (I know it sounds wierd, but still…try it!).

    Mourn your beloved Smokey’s death by writing, crying, exercising, talking, creating a photo album, or making a dog memorial.

    Remember that your new little guy isn’t a replacement for Smokey. He’s a different dog with a different personality and habits. He’ll never be Smokey — and he doesn’t want to be! Try to stop thinking about him as a way to ease your pain.

    Regarding giving him away — I encourage you to live with him for 3 more months and implement the suggestions I’ve given…and if you still can’t connect with him, then re-think your idea of giving him away…

    Let me know how it goes.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  350. bruce says:

    Well I lost my best buddy Smokey back in oct to a ruptured spleen and cancer it was very unexpected it was so sudden and it still hurts to this day

    I got a new pet i guess around 2 weeks after Smokey died i figured it would ease the pain . the sad thing about it is that I have no feelings towards him and it was wrong toget another pet so soon

    I dont treat him the way I treated Smokey and I know its wrong but I just dont have it in me to feel anything for this little guy
    I’m to the point where I want to give him away but im still unsure

    Any advice from anyone I wish I new what to do

  351. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Karina,

    I’m so sorry to hear about Muffin…that’s very sad. Losing a beloved dog is hard enough, without having such a negative experience with a vet! That vet should never have said that — it was inconsiderate and thoughtless. When we lose pets we love, we go through enough guilt, without having more heaped on us by vets!

    I haven’t had a similar experience, and I hope it doesn’t happen often with other pet owners.

    My sympathies to you and your mom…and if you’re still wrestling with guilt, you might find my “tips for coping with guilt” article helpful. Here’s the link:

    Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Dog Dies

    My thoughts and prayers are with you…

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  352. Please help….

    My parents rescued a dog nine months ago from a shelter. She was the most affection and loving dog, Muffin. She was an older dog, they told us 8, and a bit funny but so sweet with the best temperment and the biggest brown eyes you’d ever seen.

    My parents took her to Palm Springs with them in December. She was sick when they first arrived…listless, vomitting, not eating, generally depressed. But after a day she would be better. This happened a few more times they said, but she would always get better.

    I came to visit my parents on Tuesday. Muffin seemed OK that day, super happy and excited to see me and everyone and just loving life.

    The next day she was listless again. She went for a long walk in the sun, which now of course we regret, and wanted to rest a lot. We let her. We took her off the leash at one point and she went running across the golf course, all happy.

    But later she would go back to being listless. She would just wander restlessly around the house and stare at us, trying to tell us something with her big brown eyes.

    She would occasionally vomit up clear liquid, but was still eating. We knew she was sick but my parents said it happened before and she would get better. Because she was vomitting and had the runs, we thought it was her diet so we were very careful about what to feed her and thought maybe it was pesticides used around the golf course.

    Also, her stomach was very large and bloated and it hurt if you pressed on it. I knew something was wrong with the way her stomach hung down but my parents said they didn’t know what it was.

    By Friday she wasn’t getting any better. My mother said she would take her to the vet next week for sure. I even did one of those ASK A VET on the internet type things. They said to take her too for it could be a number of things.

    The next day we went out for a few hours and left Muffin at home. We came back and she was happy to see us at first. But then after awhile went back to wandering around in a daze. I started to get a VERY bad feeling, especially as she kept leaving the condo and wanting to be alone. At one point she ran away to a ditch to lie down. My mom had to go back and get her.

    Then a few minutes later Muffin went to go lie down and vomit. That was enough for me – my feeling was that she was looking for a place to die.

    So even though it was Saturday and most vets were closed (and we were in a strange town) I found a vet open. They had a slot at 4PM to take us. It was 340PM.

    I felt it was so urgent that we go right away so we bundled up Muffin and took her. Car rides were her favourite thing but not today.

    Even walking to the vet, she pulled at the leash, wanting to be outside and not go in the building.

    I filled out the forms and we sat down by the glass doors. Muffin lay down at the door, kind of plopped down, and kept staring out the window at the sky and desert outside.

    My mom and I talked for a minute, she looked back at Muffin who was only really two feet from us and she said, “It doesn’t look like she’s breathing.”

    Indeed her laboured breathing had stopped. I thought it was a joke. She was dead. I yelled for the vets to help and they picked her up and rushed her off to the emergency room.

    My mom immediately started screaming and crying and I was in such shock, the horror of that reality. I kept hugging her and telling her that Muffin would be OK.

    But she died.

    The worst part – the guilt – was brought on by the rude vet. Dr. House has more bedside manners than this woman. She said, “Well how long did you realize her stomach was that bloated? Maybe we could have done something if you brought her in earlier.”

    I can’t stop picturing Muffin lying there dead. One minute she was alive and then she died when we werent’ looking. I feel so bad, I feel so guilty that I noticed her bloated tummy days ago and didn’t force my parents to take her to the vet then.

    How could she die so close to being helped? The only consolation I have is that it was better to have Muffin die looking outside at the world with her families voices nearby, instead of on an operating table surrounded by the roughest and rudest b***h of a vet I have ever met.

    I just can’t stop hearing what the vet said, the way she insinuated that it was our fault. The guilt is tearing me apart. I’m 28 years old and have seen a lot of terrible things in my life but for some reason this is really, REALLY hitting me hard.

    Any advice would be appreciated. The guilt is overwhelming.

    Karina (wanderlusting)

    PS sorry for the long rant. I wonder if anyone else was belittled by a vet?

  353. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Michael,

    I’m so sorry to hear about Zoe….I had a cat named Zoey, and I miss her as much today as I did when I lost her seven years ago!

    I think we’ll always carry a bit of sadness and grief over the pets we lose, especially if we feel guilty about their health or the way they died.

    Have you read my article about dealing with guilt over pet loss? Here’s the link:

    Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Dog Dies

    It may help you. The more you accept that it happened the way it happened, and it wasn’t your fault, the easier time you’ll have grieving your loss. Guilt can mess grieving up…so we need to let go of guilty feelings.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  354. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Claire,

    Thanks for sharing about Lachlan…I know your experience is helping others cope when their dog dies! Often, it just helps to know we’re not alone in our grief…I’m so glad you shared about your pet loss here.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  355. Michael says:

    My condolences to all who have lost their beloved four legged member of their family.

    We found Zoe at the pound, in a litter of 9 puppies that were wandering the streets of San Diego. She licked my fingers and then my partner’s fingers, and then went over to this cement platform because all the other puppies were climbing on top of her. I said, “I want that one. She knows she’s cute and she doesn’t care to do the song and dance. She knows she’s going home.” That was 13 years ago. She has been our constant companion, devoted guard, and loving friend. It was such a shock that we had to let her go.

    We took her to Balboa Park last Sunday. Walked through the park and to the dog park. All she really cared about was sniffing around. On the drive over and back, she was in the back seat, but her head was constantly between us. On Monday night, she wouldn’t lay down and when I reached under to her stomach, she winced in pain. She did finally settle down on my bed and I just thought maybe she ate something that disagreed with her. She seemed fine the next day, but on Wednesday the same thing happened so we took her to the vet.

    Her regular doctor said that something was definitely down there, but Zoe was very stoic and didn’t show any discomfort. She wasn’t vomiting and didn’t have diarrhea, so the doctor referred us to an emergency hospital for an ultrasound. The ER doctor took x-rays and found massive growth on her spleen. We decided to have it removed. We saw her one last time before surgery and she was energetic and happy. Licked both our faces. We took pictures of her because she looked so strong. She was schedule for surgery sometime after midnight. Didn’t hear my phone, they had called three times. When I called, the doctor told me that her blood would not clot, and that they found cancer in her liver. Because of the loss of blood, her vitals were shutting down, so at 5:15 am, we had to make the decision to let her go.

    We are both devastated and heartbroken. Guilt is a major feeling right now. Why didn’t we schedule the operation the next morning instead? Why didn’t we see any early signs? I think she knew it was time. Everyday when I’d leave for work, she’d look at me as if it was the last time I’d see her. A couple of times, I’d wake up and she’d be on my bed just looking at me. The past few mornings, I’ve woken up on the left side of the bed, and wishing she was on my right. In retrospect, I guess there were some signs but we just attributed them to old age and arthritis. I thought we’d have a couple more years. I guess I’m naive into thinking they can live just as long as we do.

    I’ve been reading about the grieving process and it has helped everyday. I feel so guilty now. We use to go out for a few hours, but made it a point to return home for Zoe. I miss her greeting us at the door, and her tapping her bowls for either more water or food. It is a comfort knowing we are not alone. There are many reminders. We haven’t moved anything. We miss her so much.

    Thank you for allowing us to share.

  356. Claire says:

    Hi all,
    It’s been so bittersweet reading everyone’s comments.

    About a month ago now, my family and I had our 14 yr old (baby) jack russell, Lachlan, put to sleep.
    We got Lachlan as a 6 week old puppy from a breeder. My dad had asked around at work and had been told that jack russells were ‘the smartest dogs’. What he didn’t realise is that these doggies are also: CRAZY! I was 13 at the time, and I pretty much just wanted a lap-dog, a glorifed stuffed toy. Our family (first time dog owners) were not prepared for the fire-cracker of a dog that we took home!
    When the ‘honeymoon’ was over, we had some difficulties with him. Jack russells are energetic, and can become very bratty if this energy isn’t expelled. Lachlan was very bright, but when the family got busy, he would bark or tear up his bedding. There were some trying times!
    But we grew and learned together. He was a quirky, clever, loving dog. Every morning he’d run around the yard, ‘inspecting’ it. He was always covering the same areas but would be sniffing the ground like it was the newest most interesting thing in the world. He would catch insects and bring them to his bed and then roll over onto his back – a funny habit he had that I never figured out. I would always catch him ‘sneaking’ up the stairs when we weren’t looking (proving that he KNOWS he’s not supposed to, but is CHOOSING not to listen!). I could teach him to do funny things, like turn away when he sneezed, or to roll over (instead of jump at me) when he would bolt over and greet me, but could never get him to understand the concept of ‘fetch’ – he never liked to bring the ball back once it was thrown! He was hyper all the time, but whenever I was sad, he could tell, and he’d just sit next to me, or lean his head onto my lap. Even when he was tired and nodding off, if I was still up and about, he would try so hard to stay awake. It was hard getting photos of him because he was an opportunist and would always try to lick my face when I bent down to get a photo of him (I have a lot of photos of his tongue).

    When he turned 10 I started getting sensitive about the thought of him dying. I got very upset at animal deaths in movies (more than human deaths!), I watched this heart-wrenching Futurama episode (“Jurassic Dog”) and cried my eyes out. There is this adorable dog in the movie “Up” that says things like: “Hi, I was hiding under your porch because I love you” and that sort of thing would set me off too! I woke poor Lachlan up so many times, thinking he was lying a bit ‘too still’ (He would huff at me as if to say: Lady, you’re crazy. Can’t a dog get a decent sleep around here?) I was trying to prepare myself, but how could I?

    He started having trouble with his bladder. We thought it was old age at first, but after a while we thought he might be uncomfortable (He complained easily if he wanted attention, but never complained when he was sick). The vet told us that his prostate was inflamed and that it was ‘nothing to worry about’ and put him on anti-biotics for 3 weeks. One night, he didn’t eat his dinner. Lachlan LOVES his food and this was the first time he’d ever done such a thing. When we took him to the vet again she had a different story: Lachlan had prostate cancer, it had spread, he only had weeks to live. We were shocked. We had been lulled into a false sense of security and then brutally slapped in the face. The next morning, he was paralysed from the waist down and completely unable to urinate or defacate. He’d eat and then bloat from the discomfort. I spent 48 hours straight nursing him. The hardest was watching my poor darling confused. He wanted to jump out at me, but he couldn’t. He’d contort and strain his front legs just trying to support the weight of the lower half of his body. He would pant heavily, even when we were trying to soothe him.

    We made the decision to have him put to sleep a few days later. We all agreed: We loved him, we knew that mentally he was fine – that he’d love to stay with us, but his little body was tired. We knew we couldn’t know how much he was suffering and couldn’t justify his degraded quality of life. If it were up to me I could nurse him all day and give him anything he needed, but of course it’s not fair to him and I had to push those feelings aside. We spent one more day with him. We gave him lots of cuddles in his bed, we took him out for one last ‘inspection’ of his yard. We took him to the vet and I held his face and told him to look at me and that he was OK and that I was there and he didn’t need to be afraid and he was very good, very calm, he did what I asked and kept his eyes on me (he didn’t even flinch when the vet started shaving his paw for the needle). His face didn’t change when he was gone. And then he was just a body lying on a bench, and I was a little child wondering where my baby had gone.

    As for the grieving, I feel like I’ve felt everything. I’ve been grateful for his love, I’ve been angry at the vet for the misdiagnosis, I’ve felt guilty for not noticing sooner, I’ve heard his footsteps and his sighs in the halls. I go through the motions during the day and at night I worry that he might not have understood what we did, that I betrayed him somehow, that maybe things might have gotten better if I had just waited another day. It’s all irrational, I know. It’s all part of grief and tragedy of love and loss. Mum and I have been donating to a pet rescue organisation and are toying with the idea of getting a rescue dog but we’re not sure we’re ready yet so we’re waiting. Sometimes I want a new dog so badly, I feel hollow without one. And other times I think Lachlan was it for me and I should leave it at that.

    I can understand why the loss of an animal can be so devastating. They are your best friend and your child at the same time. They possess an insight and wisdom such that they understand you and love you unconditionally. But they are so vulnerable, and they don’t understand everything, and they can’t always communicate to you what they feel and you just want to protect them so, so much and it’s so hard when you can’t have control over that. And you have to trust that they knew you loved them.

    Thankyou for providing a forum where I could share this, and read of others’ stories.

    Lachlan, my little munchkin, I hope you know I’d have kept you forever if I could.

  357. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Matt C,

    Thanks for sharing about Ginger here…and I’m so sorry you lost her. It’s a very very sad thing to lose your dog — especially so suddenly.

    Think of her loving you from doggie heaven, and watching you with the love and kindness that she did when she was alive. You and she had a great life together…and she’ll always be with you in your heart and soul.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  358. Matt C says:

    Two days ago, our Saint Bernard, Ginger (8 years, going on 9 in a few months) started showing signs of being lazy. We brushed it off as old age, and continued with our daily lives until yesterday, where she wouldn’t move. She wouldn’t eat. Nothing. We took her to the vets, and they said she had a tumor on her liver and she was in a lot of pain, so my parents put her down. I’m 15, and I was the one that selected Ginger so many years ago. I remember as a puppy, when we went to pick out a Saint Bernard out of several, she came over and went on top of my shoe. I immediately choose her.

    It just hurts so much that we had no time to prepare for this. A few days ago, she looked like she was in perfect health. And now, she was deathly sick and she’s dead now. It’s very difficult to deal with it… she was like my best friend. She was a member of the family. I cried the day she died, and now I don’t cry at all. Only in times do I cry when I see the corner where she used to lay all the time empty, or see her box of doggy bones. We have two other dogs, and I can sense they miss her as well. This has all been very rough, and I appreciate the tips that you supplied.

    The shocking thing is the fact that she got sick so suddenly. That’s the most heartbreaking result. I’ve given her lots of love, but if I just had another day… :/

    ~ Matt

  359. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Matt,

    I’m sorry you lost your dog, and I thank you for sharing your thoughts on putting your dog to sleep. I agree that your beloved pet wouldn’t want to just be sick or in pain…and the least selfish thing you could do is say good-bye forever.

    Wishing you all the best — and stay focused on those visions of your lab chasing squirrels in doggy heaven!

    Laurie

  360. matt says:

    today, 12/19/09 i lost my best friend ever…my lab. He was 14 years old and he had a heart attack 2 nights ago. He survived it though but then his kidneys started shutting down and he couldnt use his back legs cause he had a stroak also. On 12/18 he was doing a little bit better because the vet gave him some heart medicine. He could walk around but couldnt walk like he did 5 days ago. He was very healthy and could jump up on people when they sat down…then all the sudden he had this heart attack.

    Losing my 14 year old lab was very hard for my family. Since he was so sick from his heart attack we had to put him to sleep so he wouldnt suffer. Please if you have a pet and its very sick..dont let it just lay around and wait for it to die. Thats selfish. Do the right thing and put it to sleep. Your pet would want that not just lying around being sick and about to die.

    Also, before my pet died, my birthday was on the 15th of december…4 days after my birthday. Then on the 20th was my brothers birthday which was sad cause it was right around christmas he died. Im very sad from my pet dieing and i hope he still chases squirrels in doggy heaven =))))))

  361. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Heather,

    Thank you for popping in — it’s great to hear how you’re doing after a few months have passed.

    I’m especially touched that you’re thinking about others and the holiday season. It hadn’t occurred to me that the holidays may be difficult for people who lost their dog or cats…that’s very thoughtful of you.

    I hope your Christmas season goes well, and is full of fond reminiscing about Holly in the snow. I’m glad Francis likes it! :-)

    Take care,
    Laurie

  362. Heather says:

    Hello everyone. I posted back in June in regards to losing our GS, Holly at 12 yrs of age. I get updates in my email whenever someone posts a comment here and I wanted to come and send some virtual hugs to all of you that have lost your pets recently.

    We still struggle here, but it isn’t as hard day-to-day like it was in the beginning. The little dog my husband got is still here, as is a little friend we got for him- a beagle /shih-tzu mix. They’re both out of their ever-lovin’ minds and are a ton of work(the chi mix is 11 months and the beashizzle-as we call her- is going on 7 mos….) though I’m not much of a puppy person. I take great comfort in knowing that we will more than likely have them for a long time- dreading having to say goodbye to another beloved pet anytime soon. I will admit that I let them into my heart, and adore them both dearly.

    As for missing Holly…it’s still there, as I knew it would be. We still talk about her often and I think about her everyday. We got some snow a couple/few weeks back and that was weird for us because Holly LOVED the snow. We joked that she was our snow dog. We’d let her out in it and she’d roll in it, bury her face in it and have a grand old time. We were sad that she wasn’t here to see the first snow, but it cheered us up to see our beagle/shih-tzu mix, Francis, running through it and rolling around and playing in the snow.

    I miss Holly like crazy. I miss how gentle she was. How loyal. I miss her giant, soft ears and the scruff of fur around her neck. I miss watching her transform into a puppy again when we’d get her favorite soccer ball out to play(which we still have). I think one of the hardest parts for me has been that I can’t get the image of her-when I found her after she passed- out of my head. Nor can I forget my crazy, emotional reaction in those first several minutes. I miss her so much. So very much.

    I hope everyone is doing okay despite their losses. I’m sure this will be a difficult hiloday season for all of us, and my thoughts are with each of you during this time. Take care.

  363. Gini Grey says:

    I commented about my Jazzi passing over a week ago and I can so relate to your comment, Richard, about seeing your dog in the usual places. It is hard to fill this void – I’ve been asking myself this daily for the past week and a bit, and what keeps coming to me is to be in the present moment with reality (instead of envisioning Jazzi lying on her bed as this makes it harder).

    The other thing I keep doing is looking at what role Jazzi played in my life (in addition to the walks etc which I’ve been taking so I can get used to my regular routine without her)and I see that she really filled the house and my life with love and joy – so I take time in meditation each day to feel my own source of love and joy and then imagine filling the house with that energy. It’s not Jazzi’s love and joy energy but it is a source of the same energy and that helps.

    I’ve also done several of the tips Laurie suggested – I’ve talked to lots of supportive friends, I’ve started making a photo album of Jazzi (although that brings the tears back), and we’re planning on planting a flower and rose bush garden where we buried Jazzi – bright yellow colors to remind us of her joyful, playful spirit.

    Each day I give away one or more of her belongings to friends with dogs. I’m going to keep her favorite toy and maybe her dog-gloo in case we get another dog, but have given away her bed, many toys, crate etc. It helps to do it slowly, because even though we’re still connected on a soul level, the body takes a little longer to adapt to her being gone.

    It’s one step at a time – our hearts do heal over time, and because of the loving relationship we’ve had with our dogs, our heart is that much more open.

  364. richard langel says:

    we just put down our 14 year old black lab “cyndel” on saturday 29 nov 09.
    It is hard not doing the daily things i did three times a day.How do you fill this
    void. When I look at the place her bed was I think I’ll see her lying there looking back.

    What do you do?

  365. jo mclean says:

    This morning I had to say goodbye to my best freind of 17 years Pookie. My beautiful little poodle was my whole world and has been my most loyal companion ever, sseing me through all of the ups and downs in life. knowing that he was always there for and with me was the thing that always mattered to me. he was very old blind and deaf but still enjoyed his walks and his apetite was good. i always knew that when the time had come I would just know..i had a work function last night so wasnt back home until late at night, when i walked through the door he just looked at me, his back legs were paralysed and he couldnt move. I held him and knew that in the morning I would have to say goodbye – i sobbed and sobbed i cant seem to stop, the grief feels overwhelming even though i know he had such a great, loved life. He slept with me last night for the last time, i dont think ive been in bed alone since i first got pookie.!!! I managed to give him a pain relief tablet which comforted him for the night I just cuddled him all night. He was no better this morning, I got to the vets as soon as they opened and the vet told me that he had most likely had a stroke. We had to put him to sleep and he died peacefully in my arms..I told him that he was the best friend that i ever had and that i loved him..My heart is broken and all ive managed to do today is go through all of his photos, each photo is full of so many memories we did so much together.My darling knew it was time to leave me and i know that he wanted to stay with me forever but his little body just gave out. This dog touched me on a level nobody else ever has, a little piece of me died today. My beautiful boy may you fly with the Angels as you deserve. jo

  366. Cheryl says:

    It’s been 5 weeks since Harry passed away. Harry was the last remaining connection to my parents. Fourteen years ago, Mom and I went to the shelter to adopt Harry, a wonderful little Lhasa Apso mix. Actually, Harry chose Mom. Mom said he leaned on her. Harry became Mom’s dog. Mom adored Harry. After Mom passed away he became the best companion Dad could ever want. Two and a half years later, Dad followed Mom.
    I loved Harry with all my heart. What a wonderful gift of love a pet brings to your life. They are pure, perfect, and can do no wrong. Harry was one of those little tibetan dudes who could look through your soul, and know it.
    It’s been ten years since Mom’s passing. I went to the cemetary. I said, Hi Mom,look what I brought you! I brought you some fresh cut garden roses! At that moment,the sun came out in full God light and I heard these words: “Everything will be alright.” One week later, Harry,suddenly passed away.
    I’ve put myself through all “the what if’s.” The grief is beyond belief. I’ve been looking for Harry in my dreams. The first
    night he was gone, all I heard was a single yelp, in the stillness of the night. Since then, he ran happily by the foot of the bed. The
    beautiful dream came just the other night. Harry was so happy to see me. He jumped into my arms, and he licked me all over. As I held him, he became part of my body. We became inseparable. Harry was family. My parents will always be part of me. And will Harry.
    Thanks for letting me tell you my story about Harry.

  367. Gini Grey says:

    It’s been very helpful to read your article, Laurie, as well as all the comments – it’s triggered more tears about losing Jazzi but it feels comforting to hear other’s stories as well. It’s only been a day since Jazzi’s been gone so I know it will take time for my heart to heal. It’s good to know others experienced the “what if I had….” scenario as that has been playing in my head “what if I took Jazzi to the vet a week earlier when she started to show signs of not being well”, yet I know it woulnd’t have made a difference.

    What I find the hardest right now is everything I do around the house because I realize now how much Jazzi was a part of everying. When I’d be at my computer she’d come lay down near me, when I’d be cooking, she’d come mooching in the kitchen, when I’d be on the couch she’d jump up and want to be petted and so on – I can’t walk through the house without bursting into tears sometimes wondering how I will carry on without her here – the house feels so empty without her energy in it – so reading that others are moving through their loss is helpful (yet saddening at the same time).

    Thanks,

    Gini

  368. Laurie PK says:

    Ed,

    Thank you for taking the time to comment, and for sharing what helped you the most! I’m glad to hear from you again…and I’m glad your pain is lessening.

    Our pets sure do become a part of our very being, don’t they? I dearly miss all the dogs and cats I’ve loved over the years…but it does make my relationship with my current cat all the much sweeter. I do cherish her more, knowing that she won’t be here forever.

    Best wishes,
    Laurie

  369. Ed says:

    Laurie,
    Your post above was extraordinarily helpful. Your advice is what got me through my heartbreak. I was an absolute mess (I could barely function) for 4-5 days after Max’s passing. What helped me the most was:
    – Stop replaying the “if only” scenarios (you can’t change the past)
    – Accept that you made the best decision at the time (you did what your heart told you was right)
    – Remember that you don’t know what could have happened (your animal was sick and all of the medication/procedures in the world may not have saved him)

    It is now six weeks since we lost Max. While I can still hear him barking every time I walk up to my front door, the pain has dramatically lessened (but still there).

    I think that your advice is a must-read for anyone who has lost a pet. I don’t know what I woul have done without it.

    Thank you for caring,
    Ed

  370. Leanna says:

    This past Saturday I had to put my shitzu to sleep. We adopted Britney from the shelter abou 5 years ago. They believed she was 3 at the time. She was the best companion. Britney was my shadow. My family went out of town and britney and my other dog oliver was at the dog sitters house. I received a frantic call from her saying that a Bull Mastif mix that she was also watching attacked my britney. I spoke to the vet and they rushed her into surgery. 1/3 of her neck was ripped open. But his main concern was she received an adnomen injury that severed and broke her ribs as well as caused severe soft tissue damage and muscle damage. She also had 5 other puncture wounds. She was given a fair / guarded prognosis. She came home to use on Tues Aug 11th but I had to immediately bring her to our vet because she was running a fever. They treated her and sent her home with us. Our vet could not believe she survived as she had so many bite wounds. I have to force feed britney as she had no appetite to eat on her own. On Friday I took her to the vet to have the drains removed and that day she seemed to be doing well. She actually started eating on her own again. Then Sat. Aug 15th she stopped eating again and hid under my son’s bed. I finally got her out and she was shivering. I rushed her to the Emergency Pet Clinic and she was running a fever again. They felt she was in critical condition. She needed to undergo some additional surgery as the skin around her wounds have died. They also ran some blood work and that is when we received the worst possible news. She was in organ failure. Her kidneys and liver were shutting down. The vet gave her less than 50% chance to live. She really felt that Britney would not survive her injuries. I was given the option to admit her and give her fluids and see how she would do over night or put her to sleep. I decided to put my baby to sleep. I did not want her to suffer any more. She fought a good fight but was in so much pain. That was the hardest decision I had to ever make. I have been an emotional wreck and can’t stop crying. I worry that I made the wrong decision. I just want my Britney back…..

  371. Kara says:

    My best friend of 17 years passed away Friday. It was the usual start to the day, come downstairs, pick up Lexy and bring her outside to go the bathroom, bring her back up onto the deck where she would have her breakfast and bask in the sun for a couple of hours. It was a beautiful summer morning! She had a bum-leg from a previuos ACL injury (she was operated on) and arthritis that we treated with Glucosamine. Other than that, she was a healthy old girl. Friday, when I came back home from a morning out with my kids, my husband kept ranting that he had something important to tell me. Of course, I kept brushing it off thinking, it will be something silly and so non-important. I finally sat down, and he just came out with it. I instantly broke into tears, and ran to the door to see her where I left her, only she really wasn’t there. I thought this was some sick joke. Instantly, going into denial that this just couldn’t be, there was absolutely no way. When I picked myself up off the floor, I asked where she was, and he said she was in the garage. I HAD to see her, and even when I did I couldn’t believe it. She looked so peaceful, as if she was just sleeping. I just wanted her to wake up. I kept stroking her in hopes that she would lift her head and look at me. I thought she was just in a deep slumber, left for a moment and came back with high-hopes again, but she was really gone. It was so gut-wrenching seeing her there, but I am thankful that I could properly say goodbye to her before she was returned to the earth. I just wish I could have been there when she went. I feel so guilty for leaving the house that morning, and for not being the one that found her. I feel like if I had been here, she would still be here. Everytime I come downstairs, I expect to see her laying there where she would always lay (in front of the front door), or by her dog bowl, which I have put away, but not seeing it hurts just as much. I just wish the pain would stop. I knew it was going to be hard, but never thought it was going to be this hard. I knew she was old and having a hard time walking/getting up, but she managed, and I always helped her if need be. She and I had been through so much together and I can’t believe that she is not here with me anymore. I am sure she is in a better place, but that doesn’t help the pain and void I feel now that she is gone. The past two days, I have been sitting on the couch covered with a blanket with her photo album right next to me. I can’t seem to do anything else. I just feel so awful. I feel like there is something that I could have done, or might have been able to do and she would still be with us. People keep telling me that Lexy didn’t want me to see her and pain and waited to let go when I wasn’t there, but I don’t know if I can believe that. I would think that she would want me with her.

    I am so sorry Lexy for not being there. I love you so, so much! You are painfully missed! Rest in Peace baby! :'(

  372. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for stopping in, Britney!

  373. Britney says:

    Only one word to characterize such a great post: “deep.” Thank you.

  374. Laurie PK says:

    Thank YOU for coming back and letting me know how you are, Virginia.

    Funny; when I wrote that sentence about taking a deep breath, I actually did it myself and thought of my own dear departed cat. It felt good. It may sound “hokey” but stopping to take a few deep breaths — especially when we’re hurt, angry, frustrated, or scared — can change our feelings in seconds.

    May you breathe through the bittersweet feelings…

    Laurie

  375. Virginia says:

    Dear Laurie ,
    This information has saved my life – I actually took in a deep breath and exhaled after reading after reading #4 – Imagined guilt. I feel uplifted and instantly started envisioning the happy and fun times with Phoebe…Thank you for this valued information .
    I sent the links to my husband who will benefit immensely —I am sure .

    Laurie God bless you for the wonderful work you do .
    Regards,
    Virginia

  376. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Virginia, Ed,

    I am so sorry for both your losses. Dealing with the death of your dog or cat is heartbreaking – and it’s even worse if you feel guilty about your pet loss. And, feeling guilty is very common for people who are mourning.

    Instead of writing it all out here, I posted two articles about coping with guilty feelings (I had to divide it up into two — one article was too long for such an important topic!).

    These are the points I cover:
    – Stop replaying the “if only” scenarios
    – Identify “imagined” guilt
    – Identify “real” guilt
    – Accept that you made the best decision at the time
    – Remember that you don’t know what could have happened
    – Know that you’re not alone
    – Remember what you did right
    – Remember that it’s normal to feel guilty

    Here are the links to the full articles, where I explain what I mean.

    “4 Ways to Cope With the Guilt of Your Pet’s Death”:
    http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipstipsachievinggoals/home/4-ways-to-cope-with-the-guilt-of-your-pets-death/

    “Dealing With Guilty Feelings After Your Cat or Dog Dies”:
    http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipstipsachievinggoals/home/4-ways-to-deal-with-guilty-feelings-after-your-cat-or-dog-dies/

    I hope these articles help…..though I know nothing anyone can say or do will take away the pain. I’ve loved and lost several cats and a dog over the years, and I honestly feel like I’ll never fully recover.

    Best wishes,
    Laurie

  377. Ed says:

    Yesterday, we had to put down our Max. He was an 11 year old rescue Cockapoo. He had a protein losing disease. He was severely emaciated (20 lbs when he normally was in the mid-30’s). He was a walking skeleton. He wasn’t eating on a regular basis, especially in the last 30 days, (even when I cooked him steak) and was very, very sick. However, he still was able to run around and bark and relieve himself outside (although his BM’s were awful and strained), he just couldn’t eat. We had many, many tests and tried all kinds of different foods, pills, etc. He wasn’t getting any better.

    My problem is that I just can’t get over the immense guilt that I feel right now. I keep feeling like we should have done more or tried different therapies earlier. I agonized over the decision to put him down and I almost walked out of the vets office twice when we were there for his final visit. I am just so heartbroken right now that I can barely function. Please help me.

  378. Virginia says:

    This past Tuesday July 7th we lost our (almost) 10 year old Yorkie -Phoebe, had to put her down .( TEARS) IT ALL HAPPENED TOO FAST –SUDDENLY ( WE THOGHT ) BUT FOUND OUT SHE WAS SICK A LONG TIME —WE JUST DIDN’T KNOW ( GUILT !!!!!!!) -She would have been 10 years old this labor day . When our youngest daughter was a freshman I High School we met Phoebe – the day after she was born . We visited her a few times a week until we brought her home and just loved he to bits . She was always a bit frail but with 4 adults in the house and one ling time boyfriend of one of our daughters ( another dog lover) she always had plenty of tender loving care.
    What I feel TERRIBLE about is that after all her illnesses – I had NO IDEA she was dying —-how could I have not know that ? I took her to the vet at 8:30 am on Friday July 3rd..her breathing was very labored. Vet gave me lasix BUT by Monday my husband took her back as she was no better .Tuesday night at 6:00 pm we took her to a cardiologist – took ultra sound ….the news NOT GOOD —she had chronic lung disease….we had her to the vet in MARCH —shouldn’t I have know this —–our 4 hearts are broken….me , my husband and our adult children who live at home still , daughters 24 & 29 . I feel like a bad mom – like I didn’t even think Phoebe was dying…I had no idea –we all thought she was just getting older. we are all so sad …we all stayed with her while she was being put down and kissed and hugged her before and after….

    PHOEBE I LOVE YOU – MOMMY IS SO SORRY I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION – I COULD HAVE MADE YOU MORE COMFORTABLE AND I FELL TERRIBLE YOU SUFFERED AND I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION —-I PRAY YOU FORGIVE ME HONEY — I AM SO SORRY – I LOVE YOU MY PHOEBE GIRL .

    Please has anyone lost their Yorkie this way —Please help :(

  379. Laurie PK says:

    “There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” ~ Author Unknown

    It’s not just people….this quotation applies to losing your dog, too :-(

  380. phil says:

    thanks for the supporting comments ive come to terms that shes gone now we have rearranged the house re decorated it,ive even planted a tree were she is but i still get a feeling that her eyes are looking at me.we have changed so many of our normal routines to get over the loss.Ive decided that another dog isnt the way forward as we will be always comparing them and i wouldnt be fair on the replacment. thanks again for everybodies comments best wishes to all

  381. Laurie PK says:

    Heather, thanks for sharing your story — I can’t imagine how horrible it felt to find Holly gone. But I do know how it feels to mourn a lost pet.

    You’re not evil for needing time to grieve the loss of your beloved pet! I know I’d want the same thing. In fact, it took me a whole year to warm up to my husband’s cat (he had her before we got married), because I kept comparing her to my previous cat. But now I love our cat almost as much as my last cat…and she’s more mine than his now. I’ll never love her the way I loved my previous cat, though. It’s just the way it is.

    Let yourself sit with your discomfort and sadness that this dog is here, and Holly is gone. It’s okay to feel sad and even resentful towards your new dog. I like that you told your new dog you don’t want to be friends :-) — it’s so important to express how you really feel. Your feelings will change over time, especially if you DON’T struggle against them. Honor how you feel by accepting and sitting with your emotions…and they’ll soon fade.

    Your new dog won’t ever replace your departed Holly. It’ll take time to love — or even like — him, and that’s okay.

    My thoughts are with you, and again, I’m sorry for your loss.

    Laurie

  382. Heather says:

    To Phil…we just lost our 12 year old german shepherd this past week. And if you can believe it…her name was Holly as well.

    My heart is crushed right now. I found her first thing in the morning…she had been acting weird the night before but had been fine up until then(aside from her sight dwindling due to keratitis and she was starting to finally lose her hearing). I feel like I can’t get through this..I’ve lost pets before, but this one has hit me so hard.
    My husband has taken it extremely hard…in all of the years I’ve known him, I only saw him cry once..at my grandfathers funeral 3.5 years ago. But seeing him lose our old lady has been rough. I’ve never seen him so distraught. This grief has been more than he can handle and him and my kids wanted another dog around to help them cope. I do not. We all miss her and the sounds she made…but…Its entirely too soon for me.

    Yet…hubby came home with a chihauhau last night(knowing I’ve always wanted one). He’s adorable. Tiny. Sweet. But he’s not my dog and I’m not ready for him to be here. He seems to be helping everyone else cope and although they’re all still talking about our beloved Holly, I’m the one still in tears all day. The new little dog has taken a liking to me and as horrible as it sounds..I don’t want to like him. Not now. Not yet. Last night he jumped into bed with me and cuddled right up next to me and went nose to nose with me. I said “I refuse to love you. We are not going to be friends.” And then he licked my nose twice as if to say “sure lady, whatever you say.”

    I know I will grow to love him, and I already do like him. But gosh dang it…I really needed MUCH more time to grieve. I almost feel worse with this new dog here….guilty. My sweet, sweet Holly was my girl and she’s hardly been gone anytime at all. We have her ashes, and hubby had them do a special plaster paw print, with her name down the side. I just want her back :(. I am grateful for the time I had with her and I know that 12+ years for a GSD is darn good. But I want her here with me again. I’m just so very sad, and my husband can’t deal with the agony he feels at the loss of Holly-which is why he rushed to bring another dog in. I’m thankful that this dog is Hollys opposite…in size, gender, breed and age. But its just too soon and I just don’t know how to deal right now.
    Why couldn’t he have waited? This is apparently what he and the children needed to cope, but now how do I get through it while struggling with this tiny young dog…when I knew I wasn’t ready? Am I really so evil for not wanting him here?

  383. Gara Hovda says:

    Hello,

    On June 5,2009 I had received the devasting call from my vet. He was performing a 2nd exploratory surgery on my 5yr old beloved min pin “Ozzie”. Diagnosis Acute Pancreatitis. Which I didn’t know dogs or cats get. I choose not to wake him up.
    I have cried for 3 days,can’t sleep or eat. Ozzie was my whole life.
    Where ever I was,Ozzie was. Always by my side or on my lap. This has left a huge hole in my soul.
    I also have another min pin named “Kash”. He’s 11 months old and also suffering the loss.
    Had I known human food kills your dog I wouldn’t have given it to him. I had given him scraps with his regular dog food for about 3 yrs. When Kash came along I stopped cause I didn’t want him to beg.
    I may have saved him. I wished I had known… I love you Ozzie R.I.P. buddy 10/30/03- 06/05/09
    It’s like an open wound that has a bandaid on it and everywhere I look something keeps ripping that bandaid off.
    God bless all of those who have lost a pet.

  384. Garalynn Hovda says:

    Hello,

    I had never heard about pancreatitis in dogs until my beloved 5 yr old min pin Ozzie was diagnosed with it June 5,2009.”acute” and I had to make a choice to either not wake him up from the surgery or try and treat this disease agressively. I felt that would be selfish for me to keep in pain. I thought he was dealing with an upset stomach and this would pass. I waited a week and he wasn’t better. Had I known the outcome I would have taken him in right away. “Guilt”
    Had I known more about feeding your dog human food,I would have never done it.”Guilt” He was my world. He would wait until I sat down and jump on my lap. He was always by my side. He would run to the kitchen window barking when I would get home from work. Where ever I was,Ozzie was. I have cried for 3 days now. I can’t sleep and I’m barely eating. I’m devasted.
    I have an 11 month old min pin “Kash” also who has been with Ozzie. I know he’s grieving too. I want to make him feel better but don’t know what to do.

  385. Shara La Cross says:

    Hello,
    On May 28th my almost 5 year old Newfoundland Primo passed away. I cant sleep eat or stop crying. I am truly heartbroken.
    Primo was my heart and soul. He was so loyal and kind. He went everywhere with me, if I was not at work I was with him.
    No matter how bad of day I had just seeing his face made me feel happy again.
    He was born the week on my Moms passing (lung cancer –that was horrible sadness!)
    – I think she sent him for me from above to help heal. He was my first dog.

    He was fine the day before, he was playing, ate dinner went for a walk and then put himself to bed early, I thought that was odd. Thinking back I did notice an odd look on his face of sadness. Should have listen to my gut feelings.. that something may have been wrong.
    In the morning he had a blank look on his face and I new something was very wrong – He died on the way to vet.
    They said it was Abscess Formation of the Pancreases, he was in gave pain.

    !!!! People please listen, NEVER, NEVER give your dog people food!!!!!
    I have been reading hundreds of sites wanting to know why, why did this happen???
    I never scraped my plate and gave it to him, I gave him Science Diet dry food and canned food but I cooked ground Turkey and chicken and beef on top. Mostly turkey.
    I thought it was healthy, Turkey is very bad for a dogs, high in fat.
    I blame myself. Its my fault – I have read these stories about guilt – I know how bad it hurts. I am so sorry, why did I not learn more before this happened???

    Primo leave me Lola, she is 10 months old now – (spitting image of her father).
    Today I have learned she is suffering his loss too and I need to allow her to fill the hole in my heart for not only my sake but hers.
    Primo was everything to me, It will be very hard to move on with out him.
    My heart goes out to all of you for your loss..

  386. phil says:

    i had to put our faithfull german shepard holly to sleep yesterday and it was the hardest thing i had to do.The local vet who knew her since we got her as a rescue case from the rspca.At 18 months old half her normal wieght we built her up to perfect health until the last 3 months noticing her limping at the back and losing weight on her rear it was heartbreaking to see my beloved dog trying to do what she had always done before and failing simple things like jumping into the car,swimming in the rivers ,running and playing with other dogs.She collasped on a walk with my wife and when i saw her in the evening i tried to coax her to walk but i could see the pain in her eyes she wanted to move but she couldnt.I had her in the vets for the first time in 12 years except for normal vacinations and check ups,he was very honest at the examination that her breed 13and a half was exceptional but it was to be the kindest thing in the long run to end it there and then i reluctantly agreed it was for the best and i held her head told her that i was sorry and i loved her and she licked may face as she slid away to see a 45 year old ex soldier cry was not very dignified i know but we are all my wife and 14 year old daughter have to come to terms that she a cracking 12 years with us a constant companion for visits to the beach and the local woods and rivers she loved i am going to miss her desperatly and this helps me i think to come to terms that i will never see a dog with such love, character and temperment again

  387. Laurie PK says:

    When your dog, cat, or a person you love goes missing, the worst thing is not knowing what happened! If you don’t know what happened, then you can’t grieve properly or have closure — as you mentioned, Rosa.

    Since it’s been almost 5 months, I’d suggest that you grieve the end of your dog’s life. I’m sorry, but as time passes, the chances that Gizmo will return are slimmer and slimmer.

    I know you don’t want to believe he’s gone, but grieving your pet’s death might help you move on with your life. It’s SAD — I’m so sorry — but it might be better for you to mourn properly.

    After you’ve grieved his death – and the time that takes is different for everyone – you’ll feel more free to decide if you want a new pet, or just hold Gizmo as your “one and only.”

    Good luck, Rosa. Keep me posted.

    Best wishes,
    Laurie

  388. rosa ceja says:

    Hello. my dog Gizmo went missing Jan 20,2009. I don’t know if he was taken or eaten by the coyotes. I don’t know what to do. My heart aches so much. My world is not the same without him. He is on my mind every day. I guess I feel this way cause I don’t have any closure about him. I put ads called craiglist poster, I did it all and nothing. I don’t want to believe that he is dead. I just want him home. I need some guidelines please help

  389. Arturo says:

    Hello, I just lost my baby, I called him my papa. but his name was Coco. I feel so devastated, and I missed him so much. He was almost 5 years old. He was always sick since he was baby, but I always took care of him. He got sick last week and I took him to the doctor, the doctor told me he couldn’t do anything. He was my first dog, he showed me love, respect and companionship. He died in my arms, I missed him licking my face, him jumping in the shower when I was taking a shower, his brown eyes, and he had the most amazing paws, they were like a polar bear paws. I wish I had him with me now. I always told him, “Coco, you don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll take care of you all the time.”. Coco, papo, I’ll always love you, you will always be in my heart, I will never forget you, you were my baby, I miss you papo.
    Love you for ever my papo.

  390. Laurie PK says:

    Thanks for your comment, Virginia!

    Isn’t it shocking how losing your dog or cat can affect us so deeply? I’ve loved and lost several cats over the years, and I have one now whom I love dearly. But, when she’s on my lap purring or asking me to play or bugging me to feed her, I always see my past cats in her! It’s almost like a little parade of cats I’ve loved following this current cat….and it makes me both sad and happy.

    Virginia, it’s not only normal, it’s healthy to move on and laugh again, and forget your dear departed pet…..you can’t mourn or grieve for years without losing your own life and spirit. Cherish your memories, and let your feelings of guilt go. You aren’t forgetting Princess, you’re just tucking her away in your heart.

    I wish you – and all the pet lovers reading this – all the best in surviving the death of your dog or cat. And, I hope you can love a new pet again someday!

    Laurie

  391. Virginia says:

    Dear Fellow pet lovers,
    i am so glad to have found this site. my girl, Princess, had to be put down several days ago. up until a few days before we had to let her go she was happy and active and had been so for 16 wonderful years. i feel so blessed to have had her in my life. she went peacefully in my arms with my husband petting her gently. i was ill-prepared for what a true and deep loss it has been. other than my husband this wonderful creature i loved more than anyone even other family members. it is so comforting to read all your stories and have my own feelings validated. it is truly a personal and individual experience. i have been experience guilt when i suddenly realize i haven’t thought about her for an hour. if i feel like laughing does it mean i have already gotten over the loss? those kinds of things. so many of your suggestions are very helpful. Pricess was an incredible dog and all who met her knew it. i know that no other dog can be how she was but i know i will know when i am ready to give my heart again. thank you all for sharing your suggestions and stories. it is just so hard for me to learn how to change the love i used to give her everyday to a love based on remembrance instead of actions. that may sound strange but that seems to be my challenge. i hope when we receive her ashes that that will help to have something physical to touch.
    blessings to all and to all our companions.

  392. Dave T. says:

    A little over two weeks ago, Chloe, our 6yo shepard/chow mix, appeared a little melancholy and just not her usual playful attention seeking self. We thought initially that she was just bored or perhaps had a minor bug or something, so we took her into the vet to have her checked out. It turned out she had two large malignant mast cell tumors which they believe had metastasized into her lungs and heart. We were told the type of cancer was extremely aggressive, that the tumors were inoperable and that she could go at any time. The vet said that Chloe basically had a worst case scenario and was the most extreme case she’d ever seen. I felt like I was sucker punched by a sledgehammer. Although we had another dog, Blue (3yo lab mix) and a couple cats, Chloe was always the baby of the house. My wife always called her the 100-pound lap dog.

    Two days ago, Chloe lost her battle with cancer. We had her put to sleep in the comfort of her own home, with her pack by her side. Chloe was my best friend, partner, and hiking buddy. Although the pain and anguish is still exceedingly fresh and at times just stops me in my tracks, I always try to remember that she is in a better place now, pain free, and waiting for us to reunite.

    Our other buddy, Blue, is also very depressed right now and we’ve been giving him extra lovins as well. I’d like to get another pup eventually, but I believe it’s true that a little time needs to pass before going down that path…to allow for some level of closure. It’s very true what some of the earlier entries mentioned about the sense of loss being greater than that of losing a human friend or family member. For me, losing Chloe was like losing my 6yo daughter, best bud, and soulmate wrapped into one. It’s very hard to explain. As my wife also said…she isn’t a dog, she’s a Chloe. Through this ordeal, I’ve learned that you just have to live every day like it’s your last, because you just never know what kind of life changing events may be in store right around the corner.

  393. LauriePK says:

    That’s terrible – I’m very sad for you, Sandy. I know exactly how you feel. I let my cat outside about 12 years ago, and she was injured so badly I had to put her to sleep…and I STILL feel guilty and sad about it.

    I wish I could say it goes away and we live happily ever after, but coping when your cat or dog dies seems to be one of the hardest things you could do! Definitely the pain gets lighter and fades with time, but it’s always there….I think it’s because our pets love us unconditionally and trust us totally, and when we do things that seem to betray that trust or put them at risk, we feel TERRIBLE.

    My condolences to your and your husband, Sandy….and to your older dog, who might be confused and scared! Sometimes pets take it just as hard as humans, and other times they go on as if nothing has changed. I hope your older dog is doing okay.

    Laurie

  394. Sandy says:

    Today’s Easter Sunday and yesterday I lost my best friend. Cookie was a 1 1/2 year old German Shepherd. My husband let Cookie and our other dog out to go to the bathroom (they have an invisible fence). We have an acre of land and for some unknown reason, they ran across the fence line and across the road in front of our house. The older dog missed getting hit but my sweet girl Cookie was killed. I feel so guilty that they were put in harm’s way. I am just crushed and can’t seem to stop crying. She trusted me completely and I let her down. She had so much life left to live and it’s gone.

  395. LauriePK says:

    It’s great to hear of people coping with dog loss and moving on — thanks for updating us, Dave! It’s such a hard thing to get over…I know a guy whose 14 year old dog died several years ago, and he says he’ll never get another dog. Ever. It hurts too much.

    I hadn’t thought that if people get a new dog too soon after losing theirs, they might judge or compare it unfavorably. That’s a great reason to wait until you’ve mourned properly before getting another.

    Yet, some people can get a new one right away — it distracts them from the pain of losing their pet. I guess it depends on personality and circumstances….

  396. Dave says:

    Hey people this is Dave, its been a little over 2 months now. I am doing a lot better. FYI it is mostly time that heals, and also talking to people that understand. It still hurts though as I am teary eyed right now but it is not as bad. I am going to get a new dog now and I think I am ready to not judge the new one so its fair.
    Take care,
    Dave

  397. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m sorry for your loss, Jennifer…coping when your dog or cat dies really is one of the hardest things to experience.

    I do think your story will help others who have to make the same decision. Sometimes it’s better to let go — and I love your comment about letting her go as a thank you or repayment for her love and loyalty.

    Best regards,
    Laurie

  398. Jennifer says:

    I had to make the difficult decision of putting my dog down earlier today. It was extremely hard and something I had never had to before. I rescued her about 5 years and was told she was about 4 because she was so youthful and playful, but soon it was clear that she was much older than this and I had in fact adopted a senior dog.

    Up until last fall, she was her young and chipper self; people never believed me that she was over 10 years old! Then in the last six months she went downhill very quickly; losing her balance, having seizures, going blind and deaf, and having problems with her bladder, not to mention her inability to get comfortable in the last few weeks. She didn’t come to the door anymore when I came home and I told myself that as soon as her bad days outnumbered the good, I would take her in so she could leave this world with dignity. This past month had been her worst ever and looking back on it this morning I couldn’t remember the last time she had wanted to play.

    I looked into her eyes and knew it was time. While it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, she no longer had the life of a dog and after all of the love, loyalty and companionship she gave me, I knew I had to do this for her and put my own feelings aside. Today has been anything but easy (and I fully expect to feel this for awhile), but she’s in a better place and will always have a place in my heart. She was my first dog and while our time together was short, the bond we had can never be replaced. I’m sure I will have another dog soon and while I will love the dog just as much, there’s something unexplainable about what I had with my sweetheart.

    I hope my story that I had to go through mere hours ago will help those faced with the same decision. It’s important to put your feelings aside and do what is best for the animal; you’ll know when it’s time. I know it’s difficult for those going through what I am to look for the good in a situation that makes us feel horrible, but in my opinion, the silver lining is she’s in a better place, free of suffering and pain. She knows I loved her and making this decision, to me, is the ultimate way I could repay her for her love and loyalty.

  399. Pam says:

    Barb:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Have you tried going to see a counselor by yourself, or with your children? I think it would help if all of you talked in a supportive environment with a specialist trained to asked the right questions and help you grieve and gradually work through the pain. I hope you are all able to get the help you need and deserve. You shouldn’t have to face this alone.

    Best,
    Pam

  400. Barb says:

    My sweet 2 year old malti-poo Bentley was killed in my front yard by a wild, stray dog that had wandered into the neighborhood. Bentley had an invisible fence that kept him safe from running into the street. Unfortunately I didn’t count on another animal destroying him. I always watched out for him but on this day I went back to my car and as I turned around I heard and saw him in this huge dogs mouth. My life feels so empty and I have so much guilt. I have 3 children who loved him more than anything in the world and I feel like I failed to protect and save the most precious thing to them. Can anyone please offer me advise on how to cope with this horrible event. It has been 3 weeks and I can’t bear the pain, it’s as bad as the day it happened.

  401. Dave says:

    I had to put my faithful companion Buddy (almost 12) Black Lab down a month ago. It seems like I am still grieving almost as bad as the 1st couple of days. I don’t have a lot of guilt as he had advanced kidney failure and I was fortunate enough to keep him alive for an extra 3 months. I held him while we put him down (don’t forget the eyes are still open after FYI). He knew he was with me and passed peaceully. I just plain miss him and almost as bad as my mothers passing 4 years ago. You can’t get ready for this because once it really happens, when he’s really gone, it sinks in and for me was devastating. It is better but still hits hard.

  402. Lori says:

    When my Keeshond/Collie mix and Golden Retriever ages 14 1/2 and 13 respectively had to be put to sleep eight months apart, I was filled with such sorrow and loss, I cannot even begin to express. My family always got another pet very soon after another one passed on. Getting another pet NEVER replaces another, never stops the grieving process, but getting another pet I found helps one heal, gives one a focus, and a new pet seems to sense that you need them as much as they need you. I adopted a rescued Golden after I lost my two lovely dogs, and he was very malnourished and covered with wounds and was not socialized and was afraid of most everything. This dog really needed someone to love him, and he has come quite far in his journey of recovery. It was quite strange, but my other two dogs never mimicked the other’s mannerisms, moods or expressions. They were very different dogs, but loved each other dearly and were true buddies. My current Golden, although he has his own distinct personality, has surprised me and others in that he does MANY of the same mannerisms, expressions, and behavious that the two previous dogs did! It’s a little surreal at times. I just like to think that my beautiful Rainbow Bridge dogs are giving my special resuced Golden a few pointers. When he does something that reminds me of my other dogs, it makes me smile and makes me glad that I have had the privilege of having owned such beautiful, special dogs, and that I will never forget them. I only hope that we all reunite with our loved ones and special furbabies when we have left this earth. I am grateful for the dog I have now. I love him immensely and thank God every day that I have him. He is my ‘baby’ and warms my heart every single day. Each person reacts differently when they experience a loss and each person should be respected with how they need to cope. I wish nobody ever had to experience any kind of loss. I pray that everyone finds peace and love and a way of coping, and find new pleasure with all the gifts life has to offer.

  403. Steve LoCurto says:

    My black pearl, my heart and love, Natasha at 13.5 years I had to put to ‘sleep’ from the sudden onset of Immuno Hemolytic Anemia. From her first symptom on a wednesday to her end on Saturday. I am grieving for the most deep and loving and durable bond I have ever known. Only her irreversible suffering could have made me conquer my desire to keep her at the moment when she needed me most to show compassion and love. As i looked into her loving eyes in life I would know there was a God, and only God on this Earth had the power to call her home. They say home is where the heart is…and it’s true. She led me on less travelled paths under stars, moon, and sun, and I was always at home because she was there with me. In life I mostly said “I love you” to her and when the vet injected the anesthetic and her head lowered to my chest peacefully, all i could sob was “Thank you mama, thank you mama…”She enriched my life and rent an opening in my heart that could never be closed. They say “dare to love what death can touch” and I know what this means. In grieving I understand the depth of the love we shared. I pray that this love is a bond beyond space and time that unites us again. You who grieve for an animal spirit, and loving soul, are blessed. I can think of no higher purpose in life than to love and be loved in return. I love you my Natasha Meena Mama forever.

  404. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your schnauzer, Marisa. I had the EXACT same experience when I let my cat, Petra, out. She wouldn’t come when I called, and finally she came limping out of the bushes in my yard dragging her bloody leg behind her. She was dazed and in so much pain — it was TERRIBLE. It happened about 12 years ago now, and I feel as bad today as I did that day (sorry – that’s probably not what you want to hear!). I had to take her to the vet, and he put her down. So sad.

    Coping when your pet dies is one of life’s hardest moments, and it never really ends. And, when you have guilt surrounding the death…it makes it even worse.

    I don’t know of any good children’s books about pet death offhand, but I think any book about grief and mourning loss would be good to read with your kids. Remember, you’re mourning the death of someone who was a huge part of your life. It takes time, and the pain doesn’t just go away!

    Your other schnauzer is mourning, too…and I’m not a vet or dog expert, so I don’t know what to say. I’d call the vet and see what he or she says….maybe getting another dog would be good for him? I don’t know….but some people say that getting a new dog helps you cope with the death of your pet. Others say it doesn’t help or even makes it worse — it just depends on your personality and circumstances.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment, Marisa. I hope you’re all doing better, and that the pain has eased up a bit! Let me know how things are going…

    Take care,
    Laurie

  405. Marisa says:

    Thank you so much for this article. Our little schnauzer got out today and was hit by a car. I did not know he had gotten out until I heard the yelps. His leg was so mangled and he was hurt so bad. We had to put him to sleep and quickly…there was just nothing that they could do. I feel so guilty. Those dogs are my life and I feel such a huge void. Our house is just not the same. It really feels like there has been a death in the family. I feel terrible that he may have been in pain or scared. He was the most loving, tender, and loyal dog.
    Now that we are home our other schnauzer is sniffing all around the house and won’t look at me. He wants to stay under the bed. Is there anything that I can do for him? I also have a small daughter that is crying for the dog. It is terrible.
    This article helped me so much. Thank you for taking the time to do this! If you have any further tips about how to deal with my other dogs grief or some good children’s books…please pass them on to me.

    Thanks!

  406. Eruca says:

    my two babies… where put to sleep last night. They were young… only 2… and my heart is breaking. i dont want to do anything. somebody. please. what can help? as im writing this i have tears streaming down my face. they were the best dogs in the entire world. they had so much more life in them. they loved me unconditionally and i loved and appreciated them in my life mroe than anyone will ever know.

  407. ANGELA PALERMO says:

    My tip is that recently a co-worker lost her dog of 12 years, I contacted the Toronto Humane Society and made a donation In Memory of her beloved four legged creature.

    It really made her happy to know that her dogs’ celebration of life has made a contribution to a local pet shelter.

  408. Laurie PK says:

    I’m very sorry to hear about the death of your greyhound, Joe – that’s so sad. Right before Christmas, I wrote this article on Dealing with the Death of Your Pet at Christmas…..and it’s all below. I hope it helps.

    But I really think nothing helps but time.

    Dealing With Pet Loss at Christmas…

    If you’re dealing with the death of your pet dog or cat during the holidays, you may find it difficult to get excited about Christmas preparations, parties, and presents. These five suggestions may help you balance mourning when your cat or dog dies with a joyful Christmas experience. Plus, below are several tips for helping children cope with pet loss during the holidays.

    Coping with Pet Loss at Christmas

    1. Spend time with people who understand. If you talk about the death of your dog or cat at holiday parties or family functions, don’t spend time with people who can’t relate to your feelings of loss. You’ll feel worse if you feel you have to defend yourself, which will increase your feelings of grief. To cope with pet loss at Christmas, find support in people who have experienced similar situations.

    2. Let yourself grieve. If your dog or cat has died during the holidays, you need time to mourn. Give yourself permission to do less, because the last thing you need to worry about is sending cards on time or baking your special gingerbread cookies. Coping with pet loss at Christmas is about giving yourself more down time – and focusing on things that are really important.

    3. Find a creative outlet for your feelings. To express your feelings of grief – which will help you grieve your pet loss at Christmas – find ways to be creative. Journaling, painting, or scrapbooking a memoir of your pet’s life can help you deal with the death of your dog or cat.

    4. Get out of the house. Research shows that volunteering improves your emotional and physical health, and it’ll take your mind off the death of your dog or cat at Christmas. Consider spending time with adults with disabilities, seniors who need company, or kids who are hospitalized. If you want to be with animals, check with your local shelter – they might need extra help over the holidays.

    5. Let yourself grieve in your own way. Tune in to how you grieve. Do you withdraw to spend time alone? Do you talk about your pet and the circumstances surrounding the death? Would you prefer to listen to how others coped with pet loss? To cope with pet loss during the holidays, figure out what your grief process is and accept it – without letting others tell you how you should cope with pet loss at Christmas.

    To Help Children Cope with Pet Loss at Christmas:

    Talk openly about the death of your dog or cat, and encourage your kids to discuss their pet with friends and family, at school and in the community. Feelings of sadness and grief are often lightened when shared.

    Share your own feelings of sadness and loss. Coping with pet loss sharing your grief, confusion, and even anger.

    Answer questions as honestly as possible about how your dog or cat died.

    Have a memorial, whether it’s a burial, moment of silence in the yard, or a walk in a special place where you have memories of the pet. Grieving your pet’s death at Christmas might involve a formal grief process with several friends and family members.

  409. Joe says:

    How do you deal with the loss of a pet at christmas? My sweet loving greyhound had to be layed to sleep on Christmas day. My emotions are plenty. Is this a special day to go to heaven? Why do I have to play the role of GOD and be the exicusioner on this day? My greyhound had kidney disease and some other ailments which I had been taking care of regularly. I had been very good to her and spent a car payment on her monthly to keep her going. She was worth every penny of it. But when the time came at Christmas eve she began to have breathing problems. I knew everything was closed so we spent the night on the floor together. Christmas day I could no longer see her suffer. I found an Animal emergency hospital that I could take her to. I had spent so much on her and was just about exhausted for the holiday, I felt guilty that I only had so much money to care for her. The Vet on duty said that it would cost well over 500.00 to help her. I have no credit cards and laid out all I had. Just to give oxgen, euthenize her and receive her ashes cost 690.00 Why must a pets health come down to money? I feel guilty as spilled 505.00 onto the counter. I said take this, this is all I have. I feel terrible that I had to put her down. No price should have to be put on an animal, and yet I poured out so much in the past on low protein foods,MRI`s exrays, dogy daycare while I`m working. Daily meds and I would not take any of it back because My sweet little greyhound girl gave me more. The love she gave was so great I haven`t found any on this earth like it. So you see I am greaving heavily over these decisions I have made an on a day when no one wants to lay an animal to sleep. In my heart I know I took her pain and suffering away. But I find no rest in it. I did what was “right” but playing GOD with a life is difficult. The money to do or not do more is like the gold pieces given to Judas for our lords betrayl. How does one deal with these tough cosiquences? Then there`s the loss of love. This is the greatest. My whole routeen evolved around this loving animal. Now I can`t even go out the back door because of the hundreds of hours we walked around together out there. Another animal is not the answer at this time. Any advise. I grieve more than the loss when my mother died.

  410. priscilla says:

    Nov.8 a sad day, Nell was breathing hard to took her to the Vet. she had advanced cancer and other health problems I, was not able to bring her home as I expected to. There, is a book “Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates.” by Gary Kurz borrowed from the library. It will soon be a month sence losing her and the loss is painful She liked to ruffle up the Christmas tree skirt and settle in .No Nell and no tree. Priscilla

  411. Sherry Stinson says:

    Wonderful article! I know when I lost Tyler, I didn’t know what to do and when I started creating the cards for TylerDog Cards, it gave me something to throw my grief into, sharing his wonderfulness with the world. The great thing is, in his passing he has reached people from every state and several foreign countries where his cards have sold! It makes my day to know I can bring joy and happiness to others through my sweet Tyler, Grady, and the others I have loved.

  412. 2 days before my birthday in January, my dog Barkley, died at the age of 15 & 1/2. I was traveling and knew when I got home that I would pick her up from the kennel and take her to be put down. She had started having seizures and couldn’t stand or walk by herself.

    6 weeks later, I lost her son, Remi, who was 13 & 1/2. Unlike Barkley, I had no warning and was rushing him to the vet. Congestive heart failure. I had to let him go.

    This time last year, I remember sitting outside with them both thinking that it would be my last autumn with Barkley. I had assumed that Remi would live to be 15 like his mother.

    I have lost friends & family members–the grief I have felt does not compare to losing my dogs. Barkley was with me at the end of my 20’s into my 40’s. They both had a life-expectancy of 12 years, so everyday after that I felt lucky to have them. I would appreciate those quiet moments with Barkley sitting under my feet as I watched TV or read. Remi loved to be massaged. During those last few years as they got older, I would often think: There will be a time when they won’t be here. So it made me appreciate the moment even more.

    I am still surprised sometimes when the grief returns. I have stopped thinking that I should be over it. Pushing it away only prolongs it. I miss the tangibles of being with them. I miss never calling their names in the yard. I miss hearing Remi make his moaning happy sound when I massaged him. I miss Barkley smiling. Yes, she really did.

    All those things I miss. Jill Bolte Taylor recounts in her book My Stroke of Insight how when she thinks of her dog she feels the warm fuzzies, but can also go into a sense of loss because he died. It’s both: love and loss. All very bittersweet.

    So here’s my advice:

    Be with your pet when it’s time for them to go. Don’t leave it to strangers, it adds to your pet’s fear and confusion. Let them see you last. It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to do, but it was the right and loving thing to do for my faithful companions.

    The homeopathic remedy Ignatia is for grief. Take it. It really does help. It works for animals as well.

    Recognize from the beginning that the very nature of having a pet is that you will most likely outlive them. Appreciate the time you do have with them. Love them and cherish them as much as they do you.

    Doing something creative in honor of their memory helps to channel the grief into something constructive: a scrapbook, photo album, pillow, etc.

    Give yourself time to grieve before jumping into getting another pet. The new one deserves your unfettered attention.

    It really does get better with time. I think of them and smile. I am so grateful for their presence in my life.

  413. Julie McClure says:

    Many people may disagree, but I highly recommend getting a new pet. Another dog, will never take the place of the dog you just lost, but in a matter of days or weeks, this new pet will be loving you unconditionally.

    It will demand attention, demand feeding and demand lots of your time. You won’t be able to help starting to fall in love with the little guy. They will NEVER replace your past pet, but they can fill the void left from your loss. The loss is not quite so hard with some other little body is there to cuddle and kiss your face.

    It really does help, despite feelings of “I’ll never have another one” or “I get too attached and it’s too hard when they are gone”. This is typical thinking, but most of the time, after another little life is introduced to your world, they have a way of helping the hurt heal.

    If you do decide to get a new dog, the best bet is to steer clear of getting one of the same colour, sex and breed as the dog you lost. It’s unavoidable that you will tend to compare the two. You’ll say things like “Fido never would soil on the carpet” or “Fido never barked all time” and other such things. Don’t fall into the trap! Try a different breed or, if you’re hooked on certain breed, a different colour and sex. It will help you love the new addition just for themselves and stop the uncontrollable need to compare.

    It’s like children – no two are ever alike, they have their own identity, personality, etc. You shouldn’t try and have them look alike, as you will compare and that just isn’t fair to the new dog. He would have big shoes to fill and that’s something that he won’t need when he is first introduced to your life.

  414. Diana Scimone says:

    Laurie, thanks for posting my story about Puccini. It’s yet another wonderful way to honor him.

    When your dog goes on to Doggie Heaven, you have to cope with it in the best way for you. What works for someone else may not help you at all. I have pictures of Puccini all over the house (I’m looking at 4 of them right now!), but my sister couldn’t keep any pictures of Peanut around; it was too painful for her. You’ll know what’s right for you.

    When I was working on the Adventures With PawPaw books for many years, I didn’t know who PawPaw was going to be. We hadn’t yet gotten to the illustration stage, and in my mind PawPaw was going to be a made-up character. After Puccini died, it suddenly dawned on me (duh!) that PawPaw should be a dog.

    I rounded up pictures of Puccini and gave them to artist Leah Wiedemer (www.lwiedemer.com) who was going to illustrate the PawPaw books. The result? PawPaw now bears a striking resemblance to a certain fluffy and lovable schoodle named Puccini.

    A portion of the profits from book sales goes to help stop child trafficking around the world (www.pawpawspals.org) so it’s another way to honor his memory.

    You can see a picture of Puccini at http://www.adventureswithpawpaw.com — click on the “Pedigrees” page for a photo of his first birthday party :-).

    Diana Scimone
    http://www.adventureswithpawpaw.com
    http://www.dianascimone.com
    Twitter: @BornToFly

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