When Your Cat Dies – 4 Ways to Cope With Grief and Loss

You may be surprised at the pain and grief you feel when your cat dies. These ways to cope with the loss of your cat are from pet lovers who have felt your pain.

when your cat dies

When Your Cat Dies

When your cat dies, picture him or her with an angel. The Willow Tree with Affection (pictured) is a beautiful angel holding a cat, with peace and love and acceptance.

“Grief can’t be shared. Everyone carries it alone, his own burden, his own way.” ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh. The sadness you feel when your cat dies can’t be shared and is yours alone. But, it can help to read about how others mourned their cats’ deaths.  Here, pet lovers share tips for coping with cat loss — these tips may not take away the pain, but at least they’ll help you see you’re not alone.

Here are several tips for healing from cat lovers who experienced the pain of their kitty’s deaths.





4 Ways to Cope With Grief and Loss When Your Cat Dies

Everyone deals with their pet’s death in different ways. These stories from people who loved and lost their cats may help you heal…

Share memories about your cat with people who knew him or her

“As a child, we were encouraged to talk about the pet and remember him or her,” says cat lover Pam Vetter. “Pets are family members and have important roles in our lives. Whenever a frog, lizard, parakeet or guinea pig has died in our house over the last 14 years since my kids were born, we’ve held a mini-funeral in the backyard.  We bury the pet, put a rock marker on top, and share our memories about the pet. The time together serves to recognize the pet’s role in our lives.  My kids are encouraged to share their memories about our lost pets.”

Give yourself time to heal after your cat dies

“There is no single formula to saying good-bye when your cat dies,” says Dan. “Healing takes place over time. The loss of a pet is the loss of someone you loved, and when anything you loved is abruptly taken away from you, there is no substitute. Four years ago, my cat Peep disappeared without a trace. I live in an exclusive suburb of Los Angeles in the hills. It’s often you have wild life and predators roaming at night. I was sick with some dental problem and when I came home from pharmacy at 9 pm, I couldn’t locate both my cats…one of then came home and the other didn’t.” – Dan Tanner

Welcome another cat into your home – when you’re ready

“Last January we had to have our beloved cat, Janvier, put down,” says cat lover Jessica. “He was suffering from renal failure, and the treatment would have crushed his spirit and terrified him, so we made the hardest decision of our lives. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss having my first baby around. It’s pathetic, but we haven’t even gotten rid of his kitty litter (it’s clean!) or his leftover food. I still think I can hear him puttering around at night. We have two young children and insanely busy lives, so we haven’t adopted a new cat yet. We feel like we wouldn’t be able to give him or her enough attention at this time, which would just not be fair. I really believe that having a new kitten would help us survive our cat’s death. I also think that bringing a new pet into our lives would help us honor Janvier, by constantly reminding us of the cute and funny things he used to do. So I hope that one day soon-ish, we’ll open our homes to a new pet both to help heal our hearts and so our children know the joy a cat can bring to a home.”

Rescue an abandoned kitten or cat

when cat dies

Our cat, Nunki. She’s 10 years old, and I cherish every day with her.

“I had my multi-coloured white and ginger cat, Penny, for 8 wonderful years,” says Cynthia. “Her death was sudden. She seemed to be losing weight to a point until she appeared too thin, so I took her in to the vet’s and got the bad news. They suggested an operation, but the next day I got a call during the surgery that she might not make it. I rushed in, and she died in my arms. In my case, whether or not to get another cat was already solved in a way, as I had just rescued a small black kitten, and was fostering her for the local Cat Adoption Team. The month before, I had decided to adopt her myself. After Penny died, I called her my ‘Little Gift from God’.” – Cynthia Colby.

In Letting Go of an Animal You Love, I share 75 ways to cope with pet death from veterinarians, pet loss experts, grief counselors, and cat lovers. If you’re struggling to cope with grief because of your cat’s death, you may find comfort there.

Are you ready to open your home to another cat? Read Should You Get a Cat After Your Cat’s Death?

If you’d like to share your stories and thoughts about your cat, please do below.


Before You Go...


Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on twitterLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on pinterestLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on linkedinLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on googleLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on facebook
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
I live in Vancouver, BC; my degrees are in Education, Psychology, and Social Work. Most importantly, I am a Christian! I love God, Jesus, Spirit. Your comments are welcome below, but I can't give advice. Are you lost, hurt, scared? Take a deep breath, and remember the reason you exist. "The eternal God is your refuge; His everlasting arms are under you." - Deut 33:27. Feel free to share your prayers and experiences here.

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227 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    Dear Nikki,

    I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through when your cat died. It’s a terrible accident, and the grief and sadness sometimes feels overwhelming. Your poor cat was here and healthy one minute, and then gone the next. It’s heartbreaking, and so difficult to understand.

    My prayer is that your heart heals as you grieve your cat’s death. May you cry and be sad as you say good-bye, for this is a sad time. I pray you’re able to come through the grief and be strong for your other cat. I also pray you’re able to open your heart to perhaps adopting a new cat, and sharing all the love that in your heart with a new animal who needs a home. It may be too much to think about right now – I have a cat and two dogs, and I will be wrecked with grief when they die – but my prayer is that you heal and become able to love again. May you feel God’s strength, peace, and love as you say good-bye to your beloved cat. Amen.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  2. RosalieG says:

    That is such a sad story. I’m sure you feel awful. Your other cat will feel your pain too. Keep an eye on the other cat. It may stop eating due to depression. Take it to the vet if it does because only a couple days without eating, it can get fatty liver disease. I took my other cat to the vet and we gave her a liver supplement and did tests. The liver supplement prescribed actually acts as an anti-depressant too. My cat perked up and has lived 3 more full years since then. We started being very affectionate with her and she has risen to the challenge and become a brand new cat that loves attention. I also play Jackie Evancho videos for her. She seems to love her singing.

    Let your heart heal, and reassure your other kitty. Pray to God for help to get through it. God gave me a sign I asked for to reassure me my cat was in heaven. I said to give me a sign with cardinals or blue jays. When my husband set the table, for some reason he used glasses I’d received for Christmas a few years back. These glasses have cardinals and blue jays on them. My husband didn’t know my prayer. God has also sent cardinals and blue jays to our bird feeder on a regular basis.

    Trust your kitty is living happier in heaven and it will help you go on and forgive yourself.

  3. nikki says:

    Last night someone hit my cat with their car I heard the tiers trying to stop and as soon as I ran to get my cat she was hit. I had to watch her flopping around nonstop and when I picked her up her blood was all over my body. I took her to the pet er and was told it was to late that she is gone.
    I don’t know how to deal with this I had to hand feed her and help her use the bathroom when I first found her out side in the snow. She has been through everything with me and everytime I wanted to give up I knew I couldn’t because she needed me.
    now its just me and my other cat who is just as sad as me
    what do I do

  4. Laurie says:

    Dear Jen,

    It sounds like Littledot meant so much to you, and you’re devastated by her death. Cats are so important to us! I love my cat, too, and I dread the day I have to deal with her death.

    I hope you’re starting to heal. I don’t think we’re ever the same after our cats die — I still miss a cat I lost 15 years ago, and feel guilty about her death — but slowly we do start to feel ourselves again. It’s important to grieve and say good-bye when your cat dies, but it’s also important to give ourselves permission to heal and move on.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you want to share memories of Littledot, please feel free. Writing is one of the best ways to heal from pet loss.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  5. Jen says:

    I am going through this right now. My darling Littledot died at age 19. I spent a lot of time with her. I loved her so much. I cry anytime I’m alone. As soon as I walk out the door from work, I start crying. I’m crying right now. I can’t sleep. I feel like I want to die, too. Heartbreaking does not come close to how I feel. I don’t think I could go through that again.

  6. Laurie says:

    I don’t think we ever really get over the grief we feel when our cat dies. I had to put my Fluffy down almost 20 years ago, and I still feel so sad when I think about losing her. It’s just part of me now, just like the pain of losing my grandmother, sister, aunt, and best friend.

    There are no exact stages of grief, and there is no exact time that mourning pet loss takes. I believe our pets will always leave a hole in our hearts – and it’s up to us to choose to remember them with peace, joy, compassion, and happiness. I try to remember all my lost loved ones with peace and joy, not pain or grief. It’s hard, but I really believe there is no forgetting. It’s just about moving on, and loving who we’re with right now. For me, it’s my two dogs and my cat that I love right now. I miss Fluffy, but I try to focus on the beloved animals in front of me right now.

  7. RosalieG says:

    Ying Li,

    I know that feeling of guilt. I, like you, had a negative experience with a vet so didn’t take my cats. I knew something was wrong with Misty–same story as yours. I still feel some guilt especially because our second cat we did take to the vet and has lived another 2 yrs with treatment (pills) after her diagnosis. 17 years is pretty much the end of life for most cats but it is still hard because the cat has been with you so long.

    I suggest you write a letter to your pet about how special it was. Say your apologies in there. Ask God to send you a sign that will assure you all is well.

    I still miss Misty and have occasional dreams about her after 2 yrs, but the major heavy grieving was about 2 months. Grieving is a normal part of processing loss. Just do what you can and look for support if needed.

  8. Ying Li says:

    I just lost my cat Ruby 3 weeks ago from illness. I have so much guilt that I wish I have taken care of her better. Everyone said that she had good 17 years, never sick, she had my husband and my parents all the time, but I felt that I did not spend enough time with her. 3 years ago, she seemed to eat less. I wondered if she was sick. I had not have good experience with vet at that time with my other cats, my husband decided to change to the best food and add natural herbal supplement for her and she was doing great until 3 weeks ago. She stopped eating and threw up her food at night. Emergently I found this great vet (His name is Dr. Mike Doe) overnight. The minute I saw him, I trusted him. I had bad feeling that something serious wrong with my Ruby. She was diagnosed with possible cancer and I am working with cancer patients for over 10 years. I had to make the hardest decision to put her down. She was 17 years old, I could not imagine for her to go through biopsy and chemotherapy etc…
    It is very hard for me and it will be 3 weeks tomorrow that I have not touched or hugged her. When I am at work, I don’t feel much sadness. The moment I come home, I started to search her and felt that she is everywhere in the house. I felt so bad that I am crying for the loss of cat and see my patients are fight for their lives…, I wish that I spent more time with her instead of work all the time…, How long does human grief for their pets? I heard about 2 years. I can’t live like that for 2 years. I am dreaded to get another cat because of not spending enough time with them…

  9. Sgteven says:

    In our household, we had 4 cats; one being a male feral that adopted us. He brought a respiratory ailment into the group after being around for about a year, but at first I thought he just had a minor cold. One of our other female cats of about 10 years of age caught it and she became very sick, requiring vet care and medications and forced feeding. Then our 8 year old female cat caught It, but it didn’t progress as severely in her. Our main cat was a frail 20 year old matriarch, who seemed ok. We isolated the sick cats and their food and water, but within a few days, the old cat began sneezing – an ominous sign. She had been under a vet’s care for some time, so we brought her in; but it was too late and she got very sick. She had survived 2 previous major health crises, so I hoped she might make it thru this one. But I was forced to ponder the odds, and as much as I wanted her to live, I could not bear to see her suffer – so I had her euthanized.
    I struggled with my emotions as I watched her life ebb away, and wept uncontrollably as I drove home with her body in the car. I returned to an environment where I see her traces everywhere and cannot believe she is gone.
    I console myself with the fact that death is inevitable and that she is now at peace, as her physical burdens are over. Make the most of the time that you have with your companions, as you will realize how precious it was when it is gone. My emotions run the gambit, from some decision guilt of euthanizing her, to not protecting her better, to just the plain loss of her loyal companionship. Friends that have lost pets have consoled me too. Life goes forward – these departed animal friends of ours become cherished memories and remind us of the value of their unwavering friendship . Send them your love and that light will shine on in their new world.

  10. Laurie says:

    Dear Marc,

    It sounds like your cat’s death has been really difficult for you to deal with. You’re still in the midst of heavy, black grief. I agree with you; there might be some other problem that is making your grief much more difficult to process.

    Why do you think Rusty was so important to you? I think it’s important to talk to a grief counselor, and sort through your feelings and thoughts. You have the answers – it’s just a question of digging deep to find them within yourself.

    What is causing you such pain? Talk it through with someone. It’ll be painful to talk about it, but it will be worth it in the long run.

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  11. Marc says:

    As im writing about my cat story tears are pouring down my cheeks. Rusty was my best friend of 17 years together he past away in may this year and i think of him every day, i can’t talk about him without crying i do have another cat and dog and i feel guilty
    Of this love that i had for my rusty my wife sister past away to
    Cancer and i hardly cry but i was very sad about it, so my wife is very unhappy about the fact
    That i did not have much emotion as i did for my rusty
    And they is nothing i can do about it.
    I miss my rusty so much i feel that i am too sensitive and can’t let go and i do not want to let go so i do think i have a problem here

  12. Laurie says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience here. I wish I had words of comfort to help you mourn your cat’s death, but I feel like words aren’t enough.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. May your hearts and souls heal, and you remember your beloved cats with peace and joy.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  13. Karen C. Martin says:

    Last Thursday afternoon, my 12-year-old Phineas died at home while I was on my way to the vet’s for more meds. He was being treated for toxoplasmosis. It initially took five days for the vet to decide to put him clindamycin and he was on it for two weeks and doing well. Unfortunately, I was not told until I called the vet three weeks in that many cats must be on meds for months, not weeks, for toxo. Phin’s symptoms returned four days after the second week of pills and I was too late getting more. I cannot feel worse than I have since he died. He was such an unconditionally loving friend and I feel like I totally failed him. I know that guilt changes nothing and I am trying to remind myself to be grateful for the bond we had for 12 years. I always tried to protect him and to have my indoor cat die because of my negligence is unbearably painful. I have lost family and friends over the years, and this loss is just as painful — maybe more so because I feel like I caused it.

  14. Mathy says:

    I recently lost one of my cats. She was 6 years old and seemed perfectly healthy. On Monday, my parents informed me she had a kiney infection and was put to death. I’m still in shock. I miss her but I know I’m not alone.

  15. Annabella says:

    Liliana my heart goes to you,
    What can do to us a lit bit of fur, i hope your cat didn’t suffer very much, because beside the loss that it’s very painful, you will be thinking how afraid Penny was, what she was thinking, I asked my cat Pippin to go to her and protect her, he always protected female cats by other bully cats. Where she is now there is no suffering, no pain, when my cat died I asked my mother to help him, the receptionist at the vet asked his cat Clarke to help him too, (my mother and Clark both passed away and she said there are times when she sees her cat and feel his presence from the other world. I had a friend she is an economist but she had the same experience she was away in a work meeting, and when she got back to the hotel she saw her cat at the reception, later she heard from her mum her cat died.

    I tell you my story you are not alone, I am recovering from my pet loss too.
    I just lost my cat too, we had appointment with the vet on Sat 2nd of March 2013 at 14:40, it was an unusual sunny day, still very cold, here in London, at about 11 am Pippin my beautiful 15 year old tabby went out into the garden I was feeling very sick myself, I couldn’t sleep the previous night, I watched him from the window, he stay out about 15 minutes. I have been agonizing about my cat for about 6 months when he was diagnosed a tumor on his esophagus not operable, I used to give him a medications for the pain and for the tumor to develop slowly, but after 6 months there was growth almost all around his jaw and he was unable to eat, and my cat loved his food, that week I tried with all my love to make him eat no longer solid food, he no longer could open his mouth, and I wanted him alive in my life, he was like my flesh and blood, he was my child, he trusted me, but I couldn’t let my selfishness to keep him alive with all that suffering, since he got ill I have cried almost every day been powerless, assisting impotent to that illness taking over my beloved cat, but when he had good days I was the happiest person in the world, that day I knew it was a good bye, I thought I was prepared for it, but I felt totally crushed, the pain was agonizing I felt guilty, I had my cat killed, he didn’t want to die, but how could I have let him die starved and in pain, he lost the fur on his neck because the tumor was pushing out, I used to disinfect it, my heart was was sliced in a way I didn’t think it could be possible. My boyfriend was with him,I was there too, but I couldn’t look at him. We took his lifeless body at home I didn’t want him to be buried right away, we did it next day, in the garden, every since we have big candle burning just to remind him he is still loved and in my heart, I still cannot believe I will never see his sweet face again, that he will not come when I call him, when I saw him for the very first time I fell in love with him immediately, he was very friendly, not a bad bone in his body, I have 3 other cats, they at times hate each other but he was the peacemaker,
    since he fell ill I devoted myself to him, and I miss him and always will, now you may think this is the worst thing ever happened to me, no I know pain, my mother passed away 10 years ago, and always will love her too. Good bless you my friend healing will come too.

  16. Liliana says:

    I just recently lost my cat, a coyote got him. I am very hurt, I don’t know what to do to make my pain go away. I have been crying a lot, he is always in my mind 24/7. I really miss him a lot :-(

  17. Laurie says:

    I know there is nothing I can say to make it easier, but I just want you to know that every night I say a prayer for people who lost their cats. It is such a heartbreaking thing, to say goodbye to your beloved pet. I hope this article helps you mourn your cats death – especially the comments section, because it shows you you are not alone.

  18. Genevieve says:

    My kitten of 9 months passed away on the 13th of February from a rare disease called FIP (Feline infectious peritonitis). His name was Bennington and he was a Birman Burmese mix. He was the sweetest, most affectionate cat with such a good pure soul. He touched every single one of my family members so deeply and each of us connected with him within no time at all. He was so playful and he loved to be loved and to love. He would greet me at the door when I would come home from work or school and we would have a routine of cuddles and kisses for at least twenty minutes. He would sleep in the most awkward positions and I would always wake up with him sleeping on my face or right beside on my pillow. When you would look into his eyes, you could tell right away that he was an old soul and he would see right through you and would always know exactly how you felt. He was the most comforting kitten and I am so blessed to have had him, even if it was for such a short time. I believe that he had a very important purpose in his life and he fulfilled it..he brought my family so much closer and he has taught each member of my family valuable and important lessons in life and in love. He taught us to love unconditionally. I brought him to the vet just 3 weeks ago thinking he was just congestioned and needed some antibiotics to clear it up but when he wasn’t getting better and eventually stopped eating, I knew that something was terribly wrong. I brought him back to the vet and they did a blood test and an echography. He had fluid in his chest cavity (which was why he couldn’t breathe well) and his white blood cells were destroying all of the red ones and had caused him to be severely anemic. He was always a small cat and if I think back to earlier signs, he always had soft stool and diarrhea which is one of the only signs really for FIP. The confirmation of FIP comes with post-mortem biopsies or checking the consistency of the fluids that were in his lungs. 90% of cats have this in their bodies but some a pre-disposed to developing it, after 3 years of age their immune system has eventually fought it off but in Bennington’s situation, he kept re-infecting himself and was currently going through stressful changes (we moved to my moms) and I had two older cats that were probably carriers of some upper-respiratory bugs and this is what might have really caused him to go from a happy kitten to a very sick kitten in a matter of 3 weeks. I really miss my angel kitten and talking about it has helped quite a lot..the support from my family is amazing and it truly is the best thing to talk about it..I have hope that I will one day see my Ben again, his soul is attached to mine..and I will know it when I will look into his eyes but for now he is watching over me and I feel him around me.

  19. Samantha R says:

    Today 02/14/2013 me and my husband said goodbye to our two year old Tabby Jasper.. He had feline leukemia.. We didn’t notice the signs at first. Three weeks ago I came home from work and noticed he was weak and had a small patch of hair missing on his head with a red cut.. It healed but then a few days later he had the same on the back of his neck and under his chin.. I took him to the vet that same week only to spend 200$ on finding out nothing and having the vet tell me what they think he had.. My husband had to leave for a week that same night so I slept on the floor in the living room with him and feed him food and water and his medication the vet doctor wanted to try him on to get his blood cell count up and his plates because he didn’t really have anything it was at 8% for a week, waking up ever few hours to start all over again, even though I’m 17 weeks pregnant and worked everyday that week, I did it for him to try and save him.. because at the time I thought I could.. So I took him to a vet hospital in LA a week later… When my husband got home we took him to a specialist I spent around 1500$ of money I didn’t have trying to save his life to find out two days later (yesterday 02/13/2013)he came home that day, i took as many picture’s as I could of him and us and of him with Sally and the four of us. They told us what he had and that I couldn’t do a thing… We thought we might have a few more days left with him but come to find out he had ended up getting an ammonia and had trouble breathing.. So we found out the vet near us was going to be closed from Friday till Tuesday.. We decided we didn’t want him to suffer the wait, knowing he most likely would not make it till then.. We took him in to an art center and got his paw prints in a mold to hang up on the wall in a few weeks once they finish with it.. Then we walked to the vet and the whole time I held him, I told him how much I loved him, and how I’ll miss him, that when my time comes we would be together again like I promised we would be together forever, how he is and will always be my heart and my #1 boy.. I gave him all my love the few minutes we had left together and when we were finally in the vet room he had tears in his eyes like he knew and he purred the best he could not like he usually does but the best he could and needed his favorite red blanket.. I held him and kissed him and whispered words of love till his heart stopped.. I got Jasper as a gift from my husband 08/03/2011 when I moved from Canada to the USA he died 02/14/2013 and during the two years of his life with me I’ve never had a cat love me so much, or have I loved a cat as much as I did him. He was my heart, my best friend, my love, my son, my world, my everything and losing him has killed me inside I feel so lost with out him and alone.. I miss him so much already and not having him here with me kills me… I’m glad that he is in a better place now and that he won’t suffer anymore.. I just hope he watches over me and becomes my personal angel, and will meet me at those gates when its time for me to go.. I have another cat Sally I just hope she will be okay too with such a loss.. Her and Jasper were only a few months apart so they were you could say pretty much litter mates.. I will one day get another not to replace Jasper but to give to another what left I have to give for him. He was truly special.. I will never stop loving him and each day I will love him more.. He will forever be mama’s boy and little man, I love you bud <3 RIP see you again, but this time forever <3

  20. Ella says:

    My cat suffered from renal failure. We tried every possible treatment. I always believe in fighting for life if there is even a little hope, so this is what I did. Lab diagnostics, ultrasound, neadles, infusions, medicines, painful and stressful vet visits, forced feedings, more neadles. My cat had a hell of her last two months on earth because I believed there is a chance to save her. In my defence, a vet said so – she was only 5 years old and there was reason to hope. But my dear cat died suffering terrible pains and probably even more scared and heartbroken by what we did to her. I don’t think she could understand that the tortures we put her trough were ment to help her. I would never forgive myself if I hadn’t try to save her, but I will also never forgive myself for trying and failing. It hurts not having her around. But it hurts even more to remember all the terrible things the vet and I choose to put her trough, and I hate myself for making the wrong choice. My darling, beautiful and noble friend died not only suffering pain but also what probably looked like betrail and loss of any safety my embrace used to offer.
    She was special. Different. Noble. There will be no other like her.

  21. Laurie says:

    Dear Linda,

    I’m sorry you lost your cat – my heart goes out to you. It’s so sad.

    You can bet that your cat Matilda knew how much you love her! She felt it in every stroke, every morsel of food, every time you called and held her. Cats are smart; they know when they’re loved and cared for.

    In sympathy – may you remember her with joy and peace,
    Laurie

  22. Linda says:

    It has been six months since my sweet Matilda had to be put to sleep. She had cancer (laryngeal) that eventulally metastasized to her left eye. The chemo worked for while, but it stopped and I could not do anything else for her. I still cry every day. She was so sweet and very smart. I hope she knew how much I love(d) her.

  23. Laurie says:

    Dear candy,

    Thank for your suggestions on taking care of a cat! I’m so sorry you lost your kitty cat to renal failure. I didn’t know anything about kidney disease until I read your comment…our cat spends most of her time outside, and I often worry that she is showing signs or symptoms of illness, but we don’t see them because she’s out so much.

    My heart goes out to you as you mourn your cat’s death…my prayer is that you remember her with love, peace, and joy. She is happily rolling in fields of cat nip and nibbling her favorite fish dishes now! She is in a better place, and you will be reunited with her again some day.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  24. candy says:

    My beloved cat candy died of renal failure on 16-1-2013, and I am completely devastated, feel like its the end of the world for me.
    she was not even 2 years old, if alive she would have completed her 2 years on 11 march 2013. Its so painful that she died so young.
    we didn’t realize she was not well, she had lost a lot of weight, but she was active. when we took her to vet, he said its too late now, her BUN value was 175 and creatine was 7.0, that means she was in the last stage of renal failure, but we wanted to give our best to her. she was on IV since 11 jan, on 14 jan she got heavy uncontrollable shivers. but she survived, next day our vet told us to keep her in sun instead of hot water bag. we did so, and found she was completely dehydrated, we tried to feed her glucose as much as possible, next day morning between 5:30 and 6:00 am she took her last breath. I had last fed her around 4:40 AM.
    I couldn’t stop blaming myself for not taking her to the vet earlier, or for keeping her in sun for sometime.
    I strongly suggest to all cat owners, don;t rely on the symptoms you cat shows, as in kidney diseases, no symptoms are shown until the kidney is more than 70% damaged. the only way out is keep checking BUN and creatine values every quarter. nothing is more previous than your beloved cat, neither money nor your time.
    I have one more cat, we have planned to get him tested, every quarter.
    I have a strange and strong feeling that my cat candy will come back to me, as she died very young, and we are planning to buy a tabby colored female Kittie, may be next month which is going to be a look alike of candy. In these modern days it is hard to believe in horoscopes and tarot cards, but on 13jan tarot card reading for me was a temporary separation from a loved one, and she stressed on the point temporary, it means my candy is going to come back to me.

  25. jazz says:

    Reading your stories makes me feel a bit better…. My best friend Audley died today. I found her curled up in my mother’s room still warm. I dont really know if ill ever not be sad, i just want to lay in bed for weeks and cry. She was so beautiful and sweet. Slept next to me for fourteen years… today a hole was put in my heart.

  26. andre says:

    January 6,2013
    I had to put my 17 year old cat, striker, down today. He was in pain from something in his abdomen. After two or so days of no eating and no water intake he was very sluggish. So I took him to the vet. They detected a large mass next to the kidneys. Most likely some form of cancer. With him being so week and old, I had only one choice. I sat with him holding him in my arms while the doctor administered the drugs to put him to sleep. I was giving him a head scratch as he passed away with his head resting in my hand. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
    I had him since he was only 5 weeks old. He was my best friend, my adopted son…my home feels empty without you Striker.

  27. Laurie says:

    Dear Ralph,

    Thank you for sharing how your cat passed away. I’ve never been with one of my animals when they died, and I think it must be so comforting for them to pass when their beloved owners are there with them.

    Bless you as you mourn your cat’s death; I hope you soon remember her with love and joy instead of sadness and grief.

    Laurie

  28. Ralph DeMattia says:

    About an hour ago (3:30 AM EST 31 Dec) I awoke to find that my precious Miss AbbieKat had passed away beside me. I had had her on my chest, purring softly, only 2 hours before, then I fell asleep and woke to find her gone. I feel as if my heart has been torn out of me. I’ve been crying steadily since she passed. She was a fat, gentle little kittie, who always greeted me with a loud “meow” whenever I went out on the porch where she lived, as she didn’t like, our 5 other cats; all rescues, so we kept her on our back porch with my recliner that had a heating pad on it, and I would spend 3 or 4 hours or more a day, just sitting with her in my lap and stroking her tubbie little self. I feel there will never be anymore good in my life, but having loved kitties for 48 years, I know the pain will pass and she’ll be a cherished memory. I’ll see you at the Rainbow Bridge, Miss Abbiekat; in God’s good time.

  29. Laurie says:

    Dear Naneda,

    I’m sorry you lost your cat. I hope you’re doing well these days, and that you’re able to remember your cat with love and joy, not pain and sadness.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  30. Naneda says:

    my cat of 7 years just died few hours ago in my arms. he suffered from a kidney failure and i buried him in our garden afterwards. i couldn’t stop crying and i don’t know how to cope with this grief. i got a big meeting tomorrow and i should have finished my presentation but i cannot concentrate at all.

  31. Laurie says:

    Dear Kelly,

    I’m so sorry about Tiki. That must have been so sad and scary, to have to see your poor cat die and then bury him. I don’t know what’s worse – an unexpected or an expected death – but either way, it’s heartbreaking.

    You’re not alone. So many of us rely on our cats and dogs for companionship, and when the animal passes, we feel like we lost our best friends. Because we have lost our best friends.

    Thank you for sharing your story; I hope you feel welcome to come back anytime, and tell me how you’re doing.

    Sincerely,
    Laurie

  32. Kelly says:

    I just had to watch my cat die. I called for him to come eat and as he was walking his back legs gave out. He seized up then started panting. He urinated and defecated on himself. He started gasping for breath and died within a few minutes. He wasnt sick. He’d had a hurt paw but that was it. He liked to go outside but had been neutered and vaccinated and was only fed grain free food. My husband is out of town and I couldn’t get any help so I had to bury him myself. Our soil is very rocky so the shovel wouldnt penetrate the earth well. I ended up on my hands and knees, in the dark clawing the wet dirt and stones from the ground. I’m horrible at socializing and Tiki was my very best friend. I wish I wouldn’t have had to go through this all alone. It was scary and sad. I’ll never forget him.

  33. Maggie says:

    My cat Whistle 6 years old died on Saturday 11-24-2012. He was an indoor/outdoor cat mostly indoor he went out everyday for an hour or two. Whistle was very smart, gentle had a delicate way about him, he was my little boy. Vet said that another cat jumped on Whistle and has done sever nerve and spine damage and has also scratched him and he developed a serious bad infection in his both back legs. Whistle had surgery to remove the infection, but it had spread to his heart and my little boy Whistle died. I am lost, heart broken, I feel empty with out him I can’t eat or sleep, I cry all the time. I love and miss my Whistle, it hurts so bad like a knife went threw me words can’t explain. Only if I could get another chance maybe to do something different maybe my Whistle would still be with me. Why God did you take him away from me. My heart is heavy and the pain is so much hurt. So not fair, I am having such a hard time dealing with the loss of my little boy Whistle. RIP Whistle one day I will see you again.

  34. John Thomas says:

    The day after Thanksgiving, our sweet little female cat of 11 years, Karma, passed away at the vet. We had noticed she had become lethargic, weakened and was not eating. Concerned about her behavior, we took her to the vet. She was always feisty with strangers, so she had to be sedated. Within 30 minutes, we received a call from the vet she had stopped breathing when they attempted to take blood from her. Both my girlfriend and I rushed to the vet at which point they had pronounced her death. We held her in a blanket, both crying uncontrollably, giving her several kisses before parting with her. I am still in shock and deeply saddened as I type this. It’s still too fresh and very hard to imagine life without her. She was quirky, had the cutest little face and meow and she was the little star of our household.

  35. Laurie says:

    Dear Cesar,

    That’s awful, that your cat died. It wasn’t your fault – he just lost his balance! But he didn’t suffer.

    I think the only thing that will make your grief (that hollow feeling) go away is time. You’re mourning your cat’s death, and it doesn’t happen overnight. You need to give yourself time to grieve your cat’s death…and one day you will remember Dario with love and peace instead of sadness and grief.

  36. Cesar says:

    Yesterday, my cat, Dario, fell from my window and died. He was a year and a few weeks old and was my little buddy since he was born. I realise a year is not much but it like i have a hole in my chest. He was sweet and never onece pulled his claws on me or the family. Also he loved standing on the window and looking down but i left it open and he somehow fell. When i saw him down at the floor i was crushed. I still wait for him to apper from the kitchen wanting me to go and pet him while he eats.
    Please how do i make this hollow fealing go away? I don´t know why but every time i feel like crying, the tears just don´t come.

  37. Laurie says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cat’s deaths. It’s incredibly heartbreaking to lose an animal – you’re definitely not alone in your pain.

    Thank you for sharing your stories; may your memories of your cat soon become peaceful and happy.

  38. James says:

    My 8 and half month old Kitten sadly got run over yesterday. I’d had finally “trained” her into sitting on my lap and not biting me as much as she thought i was playing when stroking her, un like her older but much more thick in the head sister Marmalade.

    She was on my lap just 20 minutes before she went out and my neighbour came to the door. I opened it to see that he said one of my cats (we had 3) had gotten ran over. At First i thought it was it was the mum cat “Minky” as the kitten is as big as her but it was only till i found the collar lying in the middle of the road i knew my little Chum Lee was gone forever.

    She was the most adventurous of the kittens and had her own personality. I nicknamed her “Whingie ” as a very little kitten as soon as you picked her up she would meow and hiss. But she had learnt up to about a month and a half ago and purred every time.

    I didn’t think for a second it would effect me as much as it has as Marmalade has always been around me more as she is defiantly a lap cat. But as son as dealing with poor Chummy i burst into tears. Its been the same today (the day after) as i burried her in the garden and have been gathering all the photos and small amount of video’s i have on my iPod and Phone. It doesn’t help Marmalade pinning for her little mate. I just feel that if i handn’t have let her out and gave her a cuddle that night she wouldn’t have crossed the road at the wrong time.

  39. Bees says:

    I was so happy when I brought my little Gabs home from the shelter. He was only 5 months old and such a spirited little guy. Just incredibly sharp, intelligent, and funny. Letting him go outdoors was a big decision, but as a TRUE advocate for animal rights, I could not let him stay locked up all day indoors, torture in the case of any living thing. He always came back, of course. One day, he didn’t. The neighbours came by 3 days later, they found him under the tree, but it was much too late. I remember taking him from there, looking at his face, and burying him in the backyard. He was only 2 years old. But I don’t ever want to feel that pain again, so I will probably never bring another living thing into my life again. Not sure if that’s a bad way to deal with it or just my way to deal with it. All my love to others dealing with the grief of losing a close friend and family member :) xx

  40. Ericka King says:

    In Memory of my dear Lucas, Such a sad week. Lucas was 7 yrs old i rescued him from a basket left out side of work he was approx 3wks old we bottled fed him and helped him to grow. He was a avid outdoor cat the only cat I ever owned in my life that meowed at the slider to go out side to use the bathroom. (my other two cats of 16yrs never did that) Lucas went in and out of the house everyday for the last 7 years he new the area extremely well he ran out this past Sat afternoon as usual sat night he did not come in which is odd very odd, Sunday I prayed and called, Monday i thought oh my hes locked in someones shed or garage Tuesday I went to Staples made posters and hit the neighbor hood as I was doing that I had a gentlemen run out and ask me if I was looking for a grey cat then told me they seen one Sunday on the side of the road and showed me but there was no cat, of course as I was balling my eyes out my phone started getting text from my flyer of several people telling me they seen the cat on the side of the road, my mail lady even called today she found a flyer and seen it. Someone must of took care of it there is no body. He was hit Sat afternoon right after leaving house and how no one in my family saw him on the road we drive daily I have no idea in less God did not want the kids to see comming off school bus. The hurt is so bad but I know I could probably never prevent what happend. The cat was not happy if he could not get out but I dont think I could have an outdoor cat again 7 yrs is way to young!!! We miss him dearly.

  41. tom says:

    Very sad right now. I was not even one hour ago petting my best friend. I’m watching the Broncos/Saints game and notice slowing cars outside my front window. I look out and see my neighbor running to my door. Shocked look on his face, he told me to come outside as he sees my son standing behind me. ” Hey buddy can you let me talk to your daddy?” I know what happens next, something again about my cat in his yard, or something about my aerator he needed to borrow again? I stared waiting for some bs complaint or another favor needed. But no, he looked sad. I then knew what was coming as the thought of the slowing cars passed through my mind again. “Sorry man, I moved him out of the way as to not get squished again. Anything I can do?” I quickly ran to the road hoping not the one, not my best one! To my shock, it was. My best friend ( or best friend as far as a cat go’s. I fought my tears as he walked back home. Finally as he went inside I burst. The cat that did everything he could to get to me, the one who awaited my arrival everyday, the one who meowed as we would kiddingly talk to one another. My best buddy, Kush is dead. I love you little guy and will see you once again. My prayers to you in heaven buddy! Tom

  42. Asiah says:

    Hearing all these stories makes me feel somewhat better. Sharing grief is a good thing. My darling died Saturday morning. She usually goes out for a wee in the morning and comes back on our bed for another sleep. However, she didn’t come back and I had a strange feeling. We have just moved from a place with a huge garden and freedom for her to roam, but our new place is on a very busy street so we didn’t let her out at all. She didn’t like it, as we always saw her staring out to the street through the gate. When we got home saturday afternoon, I saw her lifeless body across the street. She had no eveidence of being hit so I think she went off to die. She died right in front of a monastery. We buried her just on the side of the monastery as they had conveniently had there side verge mulched, and we marked it with two roses. She will be happy there. She;s just across the street:-)

  43. JoAnna says:

    I had to have my 4 1/2 year old “furbaby son,” Gizmo, put down this past Sunday. He had a bad combination of staph infection, Cushing’s disease that literally flared up out of nowhere, and skin fragility syndrome. He had become lethargic and no matter how much he ate, he was constantly trying to take food from other animals and us humans. Even despite all that, he dropped 6 pounds in 2 weeks (he was being checked every two weeks for the abscesses that popped up and curing the staph infection when Cushing’s flared up). Our vet decided it was his time, and we had him euthanized. I couldn’t stop crying for 2-3 days and I barely ate.

    Today and yesterday have been better days, but I still feel the guilt over not being able to take care of him properly (when the abscesses started coming around, he was going to a different vet…when Vet #1 said he “didn’t know” why the abscesses kept recurring or why he was experiencing hair loss, I got a second opinion and am SO happy I did).

    The worst part of it all is we have three other cats that Gizmo was “alpha” to – one of which was Gizmo’s best friend for the eight months they lived together after I moved in with my boyfriend, and another that was his adopted “little sister” for 2 1/2 years. I feel the worst for them. They keep calling out for him at least a couple of times a day, his “little sister” holes herself up in our bedroom for several hours at a time, and his best friend has tried to escape out the front door to look for him at least twice.

    We have Gizmo buried out back under two huge oak trees. We are getting a stone done for him and are planting catnip out there. We buried him in a box the vet gave us to take his body home in and tossed in some food with him.

    I miss my boy, but I know he’s not in pain any more. I just hope the other cats will be OK.

  44. Luca says:

    Tigre, 5 years old, disappeared the 8th of august. As she has gone missing twice already for a long time, i assumed that she would come back. I searched around the building, and even called Animal Search uk . They put up posters and looked for her. On monday (roughly two months after she has gone) i got a phone call, she was found dead few apartments down the hallway in the same building where i live. Through the roof, she must have go in the neighbors apartments while the cleaner was there. When the cleaner left, she must have locked Tigre in. Since then, the apartment was left empty.
    My cat died of starvation and thirst.
    I have been crying my eyes out since three days. She was just 15 meters away from me the whole time. My other cat must have seen her dieing through the shut window in the roof.
    I went to pick up her body and buried her in a friend’s garden.
    I feel horrified and guilty. I loved her so much.

  45. Nina B says:

    I lost my cat Poppy early on Saturday night, she was my baby, I was in bed and my daughter came back from her friends at around 3am and found her lying in the road, she had been hit by a car and left. My daughter rang my mobile but I could hear her screaming downstairs, she told me not to go out, but I just ran down the road screaming “my baby no my baby” her little lifeless body was still warm, I so hope and pray that she died instantly and didn’t know anything. I am devastated, I cant eat or sleep. She is buried in our garden, each night I light candles, sit and tell her how much I love and miss her. The pain is just unbearable. I miss her cuddles, she was so warm and loving, I just can’t believe she is gone.

  46. Adele says:

    Today I had to have my beautiful little friend of 13 years euthanised. Her name was PomPom and She was such a lovely little sun ‘bunny’but because of this she got a carcenoma which eventually took her perfect little pink nose and left her with a nasty black scab, that often bled.I originally selected her from a cat shelter and she was the most adored little friend to my husband and I. She always travelled with us on holiday in the car and used to talk to us and follow us around all the time, we always knew what she wanted and slept every night on our bed with us and often on cold nights in the crook of my arm under our blankets.She stopped eating 10 days ago and as the tumor was affecting her breathing she sneezed endlessly. Her weight dropped so dramatically and the vet told us it was really time now. We are heart broken and havent stopped crying since bringing her home. We have buried her now and it is killing me, I keep going out to her grave and sobbing.I could never replace her with another,she used to comfort me in difficult times,rubbing her head on me.I beleive she was meant to be with me, and know she understood it too. I know she knew she was so loved and cherished, but my heart and house feels so empty without her on my knee.

  47. Laurie says:

    Dear Walt,

    I’m so sorry to hear how your kitty Sprout passed. It sounds like it was a very sad and difficult experience, and you wish you could have done more.

    But you did the best you could! You took Sprout in, loved him, and tried to save his life. You did everything in your power to protect him, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t meant to live here on earth with you. I don’t know why, but he was only meant to be here for this short time.

    I hope you’re able to heal from this loss. Give yourself time to mourn and grieve. It’s been a rough time, and you need to be good to yourself right now.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  48. Walt says:

    This past Monday, I found a newborn kitten which, after letting some time pass to see if its mother would come, I figured was abandoned. It was cold and raining and my girlfriend and I took him in our home for warmth and whiskas kitten milk as he was wet, really cold, and barely breathing. He was clearly born earlier in the day as his umbilical cord was still attached. We have raised 2 cats which currently live healthy anx happy with us and knea what we needed to do to make this little guy survive. It was late in the evening so we kept him in our home overnight. We kept him warm, fed him and made him go potty every 2 hours and he really came to life! He seemed so healthy. We lost sleeping making sure this little kitten was ok and was getting everything he needed done correctly. We named him Sprout that evening. The following day was great. By wednesday morning he stopped eating and was getting weaker and we rushed him to a pet hospital. He was given glucose and his health still deteriorated. We brought him home and I was up all night right by his little bed we made him with a heating pad to keep him warm. He had trouble breathing. Barely showed any signs of life as he was so weak. He wouldnt eat and finally about 3 AM last night (7 hours after we brought him back home from the pet hospital) my girlfriend and I made that terrible feeling decision. She cried herself back to sleep and I got dressed, drove crying as Sprout laid in his little bed all wrapped up in a blanket to keep warm with a crucifix next to him as i played “On Eagles Wings” on the car’s radio, and took Sprout to the emergency pet clinic to put him to eternal rest as I couldnt stand him suffering anymore. I held him by my heart so he could feel my heartbeat one last time as the previous evening he fell asleep so nicely on my chest. At 3:45AM he was passed and since then (about 21 hours ago) I have yet to stop crying. I cried so hard driving home with his body that I could barely drive 20 mph under the speed limit on the interstate. I feel so horrible, empty, cold, and like I killed that little kitten by putting him down. He never had a chance. He never got to see who we were that took cafe of him. He never got to hear the sounds of our voices. He lived for 3 days and in that time, we fell in love with him so much. There’s a big and dark hole in me and tonight I cant fall asleep knowing I or my gf dont have to get up in an hour or 2 to feed him, burp him, make him go potty, have him go back to sleep on one of our chests so he can feel our heartbeats. Im grieving so bad I feel all alone and feel sick to my stomach. I loveSprout so much. His time with us so so brief but filled our hearts with memories and love. It was very painful burying him today in our flower garden. My gf keeps saying im Sprout’s hero for ending his suffering but I feel like s*** and a killer for ending such a sweet, innocent, helpless kitten’s life. We made plans for everything we were going to do in the coming months and years as we were planning on him being with us and our 2 cats for many many years. And now its all gone. My one cat is trying to help me grieve and feel better as is my gf but I feel myself feeling worse as each hour passes. I cant stop beating myself up for this. Its my fault Sprout isnt here anymore and I cant stop telling him, at his grave, how sorry I am as well saying that to my gf and our 2 cats.

    Rest in eternal peace, Sprout. I miss you so damn much and I love you unconditionally and hope to see you again after my last day. -Walt

  49. heatmiser says:

    I had two cats, probably from the same mother, about 5 years ago. First two years of our lives together was really nice, I had a backyard, they used to go out and come back etc. Then I had to move to another country and my mom took over the responsibility. She did not have a garden, but two cats, Pan and Marla, seemed ok. You know how cats are. Pan started to lose weight, and he lost almost half of its weight in two years…We were not that worried, because he seemed fine. Behaviour-wise. I know that it was a mistake. 3 months ago he started to have a really bad breath. Finally I took him to the vet and after a blood test, we understood he was suffering from Renal Failure. We would be able to give him a chance if we had taken him to the vet one year ago, but now it was too late. Besides, being in this cold room of vet’s really scared him, and he was sedated but conscious, so it must be really scary. Anyway, I took him home, he seemed shaken up…This is the state in which I left him. I had to go again. (abroad)my mother said he was receiving IV and insulin shots and doing better. He even gained 200 grams. But then he started to vomit etc…She took him to another vet and they gave him sub-Qs. But it did not work. He died yesterday. And me, being far from him, the fact that the last thing we share together was a horrible vet experience gives me an incredible sadness. I know and he knew (I hope) he was really loved. He was an intelligent, well mannered and a bit scared of everything cat. He will never be replaced…

  50. Nate says:

    I had a cat named Nixon… he was the last in a litter of 4 kittens needing homes. His Mother was our cat lily and father was a stray named greg, he had three brothers and one sis, all from another litter, and an uncle Saki. He was born with a strange meow, as they days went bye it got worse. One day he started to have cough phases were he would cough loudly for 2 – 3 minutes… and spit green goo. These became usual for him, but we had no vet money at the time. One day hesat on the couch, with his meow coming litteraly every second. I thought he was upset, he didn’t move. I realized his chest was pumping extremly loud, he wasn’t meowing… he was struggling to breath. we rushed him to a clinic with him screaming all the way. It was to late, he couldn’t be save. The vet said he was born with major respitory problems. He was clinging to life. He had to be put down… I layed with him on my lap, they took him as he dug his claws in my jeans to live… And across the hall, he meowed louder than ever, then he never meowed again… He was Nixon, youngest of the litter, not the runt, last of lily’s without any siblings left. He was 8 weeks old and 2 days from 9 he died yesterday afternoon 9-25-12, alone without his mother or anyone he knew to comfort him. he struggled no more. He never saw the backyard, I can only remember the fear in his eyes as I held him… please don’t make the mistakes I did… I have few memories with him, I can’t adopt a cat I have 6 currently, and Time heals no wounds… He was Nixon… and he had a short story… but he was brave…

    My sister wrote him a letter, with an attached picture… http://imgur.com/kJotC

  51. Ric says:

    Sorry Meg, I know that must hurt bad. I to had a cat disappear and I always wonder what happen to her. I like to be optimistic and think someone saw her and took her in thinking she was a stray. Today several years later I watched her sister get run over in front of my eyes. It’s a horrible day, I wish I could’ve done something to stop it. Depressed is the mood I’ll probably be feeling for a while.

  52. Meg says:

    My 4 year old cat went outside on Friday and has not come back since. It has been almost 7 days now. I am SO depressed and can’t quit crying. In my heart I just feel that something happened to him. He was neutered, so there is non reason he should be gone this long. I have put out fliers and looked for him everywhere. I just keep imagining that he is dead in the woods outside my house. I have had other cats and dogs die, but having one run away is horrible, because just don’t know what happened. Were they hungry, thirsty, crying for help? It just kills me not knowing. Obviously, I hope some kind hearted person took him in and that he is lying up on a nice comfy bed somewhere. At the same time, in my gut I just don’t feel that is what happened. I am very depressed. Very depressed. This really sucks. I blame myself for letting him out. But, he was a wild cat and just begged me to go out every day. I could not stand keeping him in and depriving him of the one thing that he was driven to do. I had him for 3 years and we went through a lot together. If he is dead, I just hope it was quick. This just really sucks.

  53. Lorraine DeMello says:

    My cat, Mr.Kitty, who has been part of my family for the past six years died today. I discovered his body this morning at 9:00. He was laying in my neighbor’s backyard… He liked to go there often, but would come home every night. When he didn’t come home for dinner, I had a horrible feeling that something happened to him. I’m completely devistated, and have been crying all day. I was shocked to find him. I didn’t expect it at all. I saw him just the day before and I pet him for several minutes. He seemed fine. I miss him so much.

  54. b. says:

    what am i going to do. i dont know if i have ever been more distraught which is strange because i have lost family members and friends. and a cat when i was 9 and another when i was 12. but this is the worst… my cat is going to be euthanized tomorrow. she is mine and has been my cat since we got her in 1999 when i was 7. now i am 20. and i have a horribly broken heart because this is her last night being alive. i cant stop crying right now. god, i cant believe how hard this is. i think i am never going to get a cat again because i cannot deal with this. can they invent a pet that lives forever, i am hardly kidding….. i guess it is some solace to look here and see that hundreds of you others have been in this very place. even recently i would think “whatever it wont be so hard when she dies”. but god ive never been thru anything harder. i should stop writing now or i never will. but anyone who sees this, just remember youre not alone, many others are going thru the same thing we are. r.i.p. my beautiful cat. i dont believe in god or heaven but ill have to make an exception for this. a virtual hug goes out to all of you… you are not alone

  55. Alex says:

    My beloved little girl cat ruby, died on tuesday 21st august 2012 after being hit by a car just outside my house, i was told that she died instantly by a neighbour and friend, she was only one year old. She was loved by others too as they cried too. Im heartbroken, devasted and cry whenever i think of her. She died half an hour before i got home and i keep thinking that if only id gotten home sooner she would still be with us. I do think she came back to see us, it was the strangest thing, we were away camping and whilst away we went swimming and parked in a large car park with lots of spaces, when we returned a car was parked next to mine with the windows slightly open, i noticed there was a dog inside and turned to tell my mum, my daughter then said “ruby”, to my mum. So we looked into the car and there hanging from the inside mirror was a cat air freshner, the cat was the spitting image of my ruby. the air freshner kept turning and stopping so that the cat was looking at me, it was like she was telling me she is ok, at peace an not in any pain. People tell me it was her time to go. Is this true and do they really come back to let you know they are ok? I miss her so much and she will be in my heart always and forever.

  56. Jackie says:

    My cat Obi died today.. hit by a car right in front of our house. He was only 4 years old and the most relaxed, cuddly, sweet kitty you can imagine. We called him a dog cat.. I have two toddlers, and Obi had loved them since birth.. always laying on his back next to them and letting them squish him without ever scratching. Ugg.. this really hurts in my guts. I hope that my husband and I are able to wipe this grief from our hearts.. we are in the muck of it right now. :*(

  57. Empty :( says:

    My little man mojo died he was 7 and I can’t stop crying. I feel a massive hole in my heart. He dissapeared on sat and I couldn’t find him anywhere I Searched all around the neighborhood and called vets RSPCA the lot.. But nothing. I walked out the back and noticed my dogs comotioning around the side he was there laying on the dirt covered in mud.. I just let out a howle of disbelief I couldn’t contain myself and now all I can see is little lifeless body covered in mud.. I just can’t stop crying. I searched everywhere for him and I have no idea how he passed just that now when I get home he won’t be there to great me.. Or sleep with me (he was my little spoon) my little man my bed feels empty my house feels empty and I miss my baby :( I don’t know how to cope with the pain of my loss he was like a child to me.. I feel guilty because if I just made him go inside that night he would still be here.. He looked peacful he didn’t look attacked so I know it wasn’t the dogs I am not sure what happened to him… I think it could have been easier not finding his body because you could play the “second family” card but I did.. That’s all I can see now… His blue grey fur covered in mud.. I just expected to get home from work and see him sleeping under the tree where he always layed.. I am hurting so much and I can’t stop the pain or tears

  58. BB says:

    My beloved cat, Romeo, 8-years old, was euthanized last weekend. He suddenly came up missing on Thursday evening. We’d thought he’d gotten outside and scoured the neighborhood looking for him. It turned out that he’d been inside all that time, seriously ill and unable to get up and come to me. I found him in the early hours of Saturday morning. He was wheezing, his eyes were dilated, and he wouldn’t eat or drink. We rushed him to the vet. He had pneumonia, apparently a complication of cancer which had started in his abdomen and spread to his lungs. We were shocked as before this, he’d never seemed sick. In fact, Thursday morning, he ate in the kitchen and mooched as he always did, then he curled up beside me on the couch for a nap. I never suspected he was sick, let alone terminally ill. It was quite a shock for me and my family. We miss him so badly. He was my best friend, and I’m grieving for him. I only pray that we’re reunited someday.

  59. Ian Alexander says:

    My old Tomcat Maddison died today, he was 19. He died on the lap of my partner Julie. I tried to revive him but he was gone, right now I feel a pain that I can’t describe and my house is so empty.
    He was a rescued cat and a big old fella. If humans could be as loyal then the world would be a far better place.
    If you have never loved an animal then a part of your soul will remain untouched.

    Ian

  60. Savanna says:

    I had to put my cat down today after finding out she had feline Lukemia and I didnt want her to suffer any longer. She was not even 1 1/2 years old. I have been crying all day and grief I feel is hard. I didnt realize how quickly the infection had spread and like that she was gone. I dont think another cat will ever replace my little Persia.

  61. G says:

    My wife and I became “empty nesters” in 1995 when our daughter left for university. While she was there, she took in a cat in the shelter. When her work took her overseas for a year, after graduation (1999), we took him into our house.

    He and I bonded. He was my pal. I had other cats before, while I was growing up, but never a buddy like this fellow.

    Last December, he became seriously ill, and I was hoping for recovery but it didn’t happen and we had to say goodbye. It wasn’t unexpected; I knew the day would come sometime soon. We were still hit with grief.

    The saddest thing was – on his last two days — he was in and out of a semi-concious state. But when he was alert – he was actively trying to comfort me.

    On the last morning, he came over to me, but didn’t have the strength to get up on my lap. I picked him up. He looked up at me, hugged me, then went limp. I held him on my lap for awhile, and told him “if you want to go be with God, if He’s calling you, you can go.” I put him down, he barely limped over to a spot under the table. An hour later it was time to keep an appointment with the vet, we did.

    He was comatose — I couldn’t stay in the room when it was time, and
    so I said my last goodbye — we had already said it that morning. I cried for three hours.

    The saddest thing – after it was over, I needed solace, but he wasn’t here to provide it. Will I get another cat? We have another one, but I don’t think I’ll ever have another one like him, so, no.

  62. Sarah says:

    Candy my sweet tabby of 16 years died last night. I received her as a birthday present from my mom when I was 13. She was the most intuitive, sweet natured cat I’ve ever known. Each night she would sleep next to my shoulder and purr throughout the night. I’m not sure what to do now without her; I’ve have so many more memories with her, than without.
    She passed away, in my arms, too weak to move. I will never forget the love she gave or the trust she shown. I miss you and love you so much, my Sweet Girl!

  63. Mary Bhim-Rao Serafin says:

    One day a thin kittenish looking cat appeared at my door. I gave her some food but didn’t want her inside as I already had 2 cats. She returned every day and on the 3rd proudly walked in through an open door completely ignoring Sniffles, who let out a hiss from the comfort of her bed and then past Pal, lounging on the sofa, baring his teeth. She had come home, no questions asked.
    A couple of days later I took her to the vet to get her fixed, only to be told she already was and that this kitty looking cat was indeed 6 years old.
    So Shanti (Peace), entered our lives on her terms – bringing with her , her personality, her friendship and joy. From day one she was feisty and a very social feline. She loved to be amongst people and if a conversation was going on, she was there in the midst of it. She followed me around the house and lay in the shade of a bush as I gardened all summer. Whilst I shoveled snow, she checked out the depth of it and then with cold paws retreated to the warmth of the home, she loved.
    Shanti was also rather demanding of Pal, her fellow house cat, for she wanted her food as well as his – she thought nothing of whacking him with her paw. He was way stronger than she, and could easily have exerted his strength, but Shanti got her way. She didn’t want him up in the loft, Pal stayed downstairs. Respect amongst fellow cats.
    She survived both the Hayman and Waldo fire, but not the passing of time. We spent 10 years together.
    Shanti has moved on – I will miss her dearly.
    She was indeed a Cool Colorado Cat.

  64. susan says:

    my cat ruby 4 years old got hit by a car this morning he always goes out early and comes back 2 or 3 hours later to see me.when i saw him death i was heartbroken i was crying and crying.i have ruby when he was born. in malaysia and he came back to england with us.6 monghs ago.now i know how hard it is to cope after his death.but i want to remember him when he was so happy with me.

  65. Andrea says:

    I had to let go of my baby Tiger after 18 1/2 years yesterday. It was the hardest decision I have ever made. He stuck by my side all these years thru happiness, heartache and pain. I wouldn’t have gotten through any of those things without him. I never thought it would hurt this bad. I take comfort in knowing I didn’t let him suffer and gave him the best care I could. I will see him again one day.

  66. Paul says:

    My cat was killed recently ..I feel like someone has ripped out my heart and threw it away,,
    My life has not been an easy one,My parents where extremely abusive ,Who showed voilence not love – Experiencing the sorts of things no child should have to endure..So i was orphaned out , i grew up battleing self worth issues ect,Thankfully i was smart enough not attempt to surpress my inner pain through self medicating,
    Despite all this i managed to make a basically normal life for myself-
    I found in Childhood i loved critters and they loved me even the wild ones,,I guess they where the only creatures i felt safe with at that time ,
    I never view myself as owning anything, a animal or person for that matter -We travel this journey called life together for a time ,,That belief makes you respect all forms of life ,,
    The day my Father died recently i was walking down a tree lined road near my house,Crying and thinking if he only healed his own heart things might of been abit better for all ..
    I saw a black spot on the road from a distance,,Somehow i knew ,,my beautiful friend was gone ,,He wasn,t in the House he somehow got through the tiny bath room window while i was at work ,,
    I came upon him,He was in pieces,crying i collected him up and made it back home and buried him..I howled into a towel while cleaning myself up untill i was horse..I still cannot look at his photo ,,I guess it takes time…I am not angry with who hit him,Just heart broken..

  67. Ann says:

    My beloved cat, Chewy, died one year ago last Saturday. Am I still grieving? Yes. I don’t know when I will be over him, but I know it still hurts. Sometimes I feel like I must be crazy or something to be still crying one year later. I have decided not to get another cat because I didn’t realize I was so allergic to cats. I am very sad about that. I do feel that now I can get another cat. For a long time, I felt like I was trying to replace Chew. I could never do that. He was a part of my family and I love and missed him still today as much as I did a year ago. I am very happy for the 12 years we had together. He was a sweet and wonderful cat. So to you Chew, my beloved cat, I will always love and miss you.

  68. chuck gates says:

    5/30/12 i had to bury Bandit, my true best friend,he got run over and killed in front of the house during the night. I feel so guilty,sad,lost,heartbroken. Bandit loved prowling during the night,and i gave him that freedom. We moved to a diffrent house 9/9/11 with 3 acers in the backyard and a busy street in front, i had hoped would do his thing in the backyard. I was told his mom&dad were feral cats.10 years ago i heard a meeoow at my front door and there was a handsom solid long hair black cat about 3 months old. Let him in gave him some ham& water. A person at my house took him home with her. A week later i heard the same meeoow at front door and there was the same cat. I knew he had adopted me to take care of him. Got the shots and neuter. A few days later he was sick,parisite in his blood he had a 10% chance,but with meds % very good care from me he made it. I found out he was somebody else cat who lived 8 mobilehomes down but he never went back to them. bandit knew who was taking care of him. He was the greatest.Bandit-4/15/02-5/30/12.

  69. Donna says:

    I lost my beautiful male cat 7th June from heart disease he was only 3 and was playing with his bro the day before. His end was painfull and really traumatic. He was diagnosed in Feb after a sudden collapse. And in this short amount of time he is gone. I still have his bro and they were both strictly indoor cats. I don’t want to sound mean to anyone but PLEASE PLEASE do not let cats roam outdoors. Any good vet would not reccommend this to any cat owner. My neighbor came out of her house one day and seen her cat get run over right in front of her. There are far too many dangers in this day and age now for cats to be outdoors and way way too much traffic. Please no cat flaps and keep kitty inside.

  70. TMo says:

    I found my cat that I have had for14 years dead on last evening. I was devastating. I cant stop crying. I knew it would be hard if something happend to her. But I had no idea it would hurt this much. Sassy grew up with my oldest daughter who is 17 now. What are we going to do without our Sassy Cat? The Lord heal all wounds in time. Love you always Sassy.

  71. Rachel says:

    I had to put my 8 month old kitty Mistic to sleep today.. And It was the Hardest thing I have ever had to do..I am so heart broken, Even Know I have several other animals,,,I still hurt…He was the only one who would cuddle up to me and demand attention… Poor Baby got hit by a car and broke his Pelvic and legs…I didnt want him to suffer with the pain and never being the same…I love him and Miss him!!!!! How long does this hurt last????? I never had to put a family member to sleep before>>>.

  72. Rachel says:

    pets will come and go…yes its sad… but honestly,its a part of life.if you love something let it go,if it loves you, it will come back someday.just remember,……..love,joy,and happiness for our 4 leg companions is like a fragile rose,……sometimes it blossoms…sometimes it breaks,….and sometimes it dies.

  73. Steve says:

    One our cats, Frasier, passed away a month ago. He was almost 14 years old and was adopted along with his brother Niles by us at 10 weeks old. He passed away snuggling with us on the couch as he did every night. We decided to have him created and place his ashes in a nice wood photo cube. I still think about him everyday. Let yourself grieve. For me at first it was lots of tears. Now it’s tears here and there and more smiles about all the great years with him. If you have other pets, give them attention and time to grieve as well. Niles, our other cat has always been vocal, but now a lot more. We know he misses his buddy. My thoughts go out to others that recently lost a beloved pet.

  74. chrizanne says:

    Hi
    I am heart broken!!! My beautiful black and white kitten left me alone in this world! She died yesterday and I don’t know how to cope with it. She was the most amazing 2month old baby cat! I can’t stop crying. Our dogs atacked her and 5hours after the atack she died! I mis Bella so much. Feel so alone!!! :,(

  75. Rosalie says:

    Katherine, I’m so sorry to hear about losing Cash. Running outdoors always comes with risks. I’m sure you were very close to Cash. When you are hit by a shock like you have described it is easy to feel guilt, anger, sorrow, crazy all bunched in together. You are allowed to feel angry, let down, sad and miss him, it is part of being human. You will feel like this for a bit of time and eventually you will feel better. Do what you must, that is how so many of us ended up here at this website, looking for people to share our innermost feelings with and to find answers to the craziness.

    I believe God the creator can re-create Cash in heaven and there he can run and not get hit.

    Take one day at a time and don’t be too hard on yourself.

  76. Katherine Clark says:

    I’m having a hard time coping. My little baby boy, barely a year old, was ran over on Tuesday. The hardest thing was that I saw him get ran over, and watched him slowly die. It took me several months to find him and adopt him. He was my first kitten out of my parents home. He was a super spoiled orange tabby. His name was Cash. We called him Cash Kitty, Cash Money, Cashepoo…you name it. I don’t like to dwell on, and have others around me upset, but he was my baby, my best friend and we had a deep special bond. We even “talked” to each other. I would talk to him and he would just meow back..and it breaks my heart that he had to suffer the way he did. I guess I just need someone to tell me that I’m grieving normally, I”m not crazy…and that everything is going to be okay. I can’t tell you how many offers I have gotten for a new kitty, or how many people have called to tell me they are sorry for my loss. I would post so many pictures and videos of him on Facebook to share with my friends and family so in a way I’m honored that so many people loved my baby has much as I did, and still do. I just wish he never got curious for the outdoors and was never ran over. I feel guilty. I’m angry at the person that hit him, even though it was just a freak accident. I’m sad that my uber best friend is gone, and I’m heart broken I’ll never hear him meow again. :(

  77. k says:

    One of my cat’s just died about 7 hours ago. She had heart trouble and was on meds and doing very well. The vet believes she must have suffered a heart attack she could not recover from. They saw her last week and were in disbelief that she was so well then and died today despite their best efforts.

    I put my feelings on paper and will bury them with her. I will always love her and will miss her.

  78. Rosalie says:

    I believe your blessed Potiron receives your message of love, Linda. May God’s peace comfort you through this difficult time.

  79. Linda says:

    The vet came to the house on December 16, and she diagonosed diabetes. Potiron (French for Pumpkin) had been operated for skin cancer in July, and he would have been upset, terrified by more treatment. I had promised to never take him to the vet again, and this vet makes housecalls – Bless her. Dear Potiron, I hope you are alright. I miss you so much. We had 13 years together, and I am grateful for each second, each game, each cuddle, your bright curiosity, your irrepressible will, and even when you would make me mad when you would trip me as I walked by. Such a big personality in such a small cat! Mon Petit Ours, my Little Bear, my Mr Brown, mon Ti-Ours-Ti-Ours..Best cat ever (bilingual, too!) My favourite reading companion. Am reading Charles Dickens’s biography, and feel your absence. I hope you had a happy life (even if it was in a Montreal apartment – you had the full run of the place). I hope you are alright now. Thank you, my friend. I loved – still love – my brave, wee laddie boy.

  80. arlene mcallister says:

    We lost our neighborhood cat today Sheila. Her heart was giving out and she couldn’t breath to good. My neighbor decided she was not going to have a good quality of life so she made the decision to put her down. My heart is breaking cause I kind of always looked out for her when she was out side. I will miss calling to her and watching her chase the birds (she never got one that i saw) …. I pray she’s up with the little kids in heaven keeping them company now. Such a good cat. I will miss you Sheila. You will always be part of my life too.

  81. Rosalie says:

    Meng, we grieve with you. It is helpful to remember all the wonderful things about your cat and share it or write it down. Of course you will miss him. May God give you comfort.

  82. Rosalie says:

    Ludy, it’s not crazy to grieve the loss of your pet. I have lost cats in the past. One lived 18 full years so that meant she’d gone through a lot of my life with me. The one before her was my favourite and that was painful too. Now I have a bit of extended time as my present cat appears to have lukemia and we don’t know how long the drugs will be effective. For now she is up and about and like her old self to which I’m thankful.

    Ludy, you might want to write Koshana a letter or write a story about all the things you remember. I know that helped me. With one cat I went and laid a rose in a special place and with the other in the spring I planted wild flowers in her memory. I know the pain subsided a bit after a couple of weeks bit by bit. We owe it to our pet to grieve, but then we must go on. It is good for you to recognize you aren’t ready for another cat. What you may find is that visiting another cat eventually will help you recover. Somehow it reconnects you with your previous pet. It gives you a way to express the love you have building up in side you. At least I found that helpful–eventually to just pet other people’s cats or at the pet shop eventually. You will grieve your own way and that’s okay.

  83. Ludy says:

    Thank you Rosalie for your kind words towards Koshana. I wish to all the God’s comfort for your pet’s losses.
    The lady from the church offered one of her kittens to me today, seing my red eyes, she has found out about Koshana’s sad fate. I couldn’t take new cat yet, and probably wouldn’t in the future: the pain of loosing Koshana is intolerable. There is no day goes by that I wouldn’t look at the toys, her plates and even litter box is still here. Call me silly: I think I’ve heard quite vividly Koshanas voice at midnight. She loved to meow loud during night times. That is quite in Persian’s nature: they sleep a lot during day time, and become active and in “hunting mode” late evenings and nights. just 2 years ago one of my co-workers had mentioned the huge impact her cat Minkus death had on her, even more than the loss of her own father due cancer. At the time I thought it was insane (her feelings about lost Minkus), I even told her to go through therapy, which she did already.
    Now, I can totally understand what she was going through. Cat is like a baby to us, the bundle of cuteness, joy and loyalty. Many say cats unlike dogs are never truly loyal, it so not true. I was honored to be adopted by Koshana , she could always play and acknowledge all of my friends and family, at the end of a day she truly was always running to me, with many of her sweet purr and affectionate meows, seeking comfort on my lap.

    You are always in my heart , loveliest sweet Koshana.

  84. Meng Love says:

    i just lost my beloved cat, Ah Meng just now… I am very sad.. he was fine earlier before i went to work.. he woke me up and kissed me and fell sleepy while waiting for me to wake up.. i never thought that was his last moments with me..when i came back from work, i found he slept in front of the gate in a very hot day and i felt something is terribly wrong.. when i touched him, he was gone.. i cried out loud until i didnt switch off the car engine and went into the house crying… both my mum n brother saw my cat slept there earlier but didnt bother to look and pick him..

    he will always be in my heart.. he always wait and look from outside of the windows to get into the house.. i’ll miss that moment..i’ll miss his kiss.. his hugs… i miss sleeping with him… his warm body n his fur always gets me a sinus but i dont care that…

    im thankful to God that Ahmeng has a daughter that look exactly n has same character like him.. i promise to take care of his only baby girl…

    we burried him at the backyard and i wrapped him with 1 of my clothes..
    now that i feel so lonely and pain… :(

    Ah Meng, i pray to God that we will meet in heaven.. i love you n miss you…
    RIP baby boy… :'(

  85. Rosalie says:

    Sorry to hear about Koshana’s passing. I’m sure she brought so many wonderful times to your home. You did all you can and that’s all one can ask. May God give you peace and comfort.

  86. Ludy says:

    My the most beautiful with superstar looks snow-white Persian cat Koshana of 16 years was put down today. She was also great character, with big golden eyes, gentle, with sweetest purr and the meowing sounds like the gentlest music to anyone who’s heard Koshana. I could never imagine this horrible pain I would feel (she was my first pet and so much beloved)and tears non-stop running for my Queen of a cat Koshana. Nothing could be done to save her: hear health went down-hill after tumor removal back in July. At first she felt good, than in the last 3 weeks suddenly stopped eating, has lost so much weight. I tried to prolong her life with interveine liquid food feeding, it was difficult painful process without much of improvement. Till vet said it is time to let Koshana go.
    I’ll see you my sweet girl at the rainbow :-(

  87. Melissa says:

    Abby: Your brother needs professional help and I hope your parents are getting him the help he desperately needs.

  88. Abby says:

    I’m kinda young, but I wanna tell the story of my beautiful little girl kitten. I still cry about it today, even right now… My mom brought her home from the vet. She was the nicest kitten I’ve ever met. She would purr on my lap and never bit or scratched anyone. My brother who was 6 never liked it because the cat scratched it on accident. The cat’s name was Oreo… and on the worst night of my life… the cat got killed by my brother. I’ve always missed it so much, I’m probably gonna burst into tears… She died a gruesome death, and I never got to say goodbye. I feel guilty because I let my brother take the cat into my parents room. I hate myself for it… The cat I got now is a mean biting and scratching boy cat. I understand the pain anyone here has.

  89. Rosalie says:

    Sorry for your loss Christine. We are crying with you. We were in a similar predicament this Christmas/New Years.

  90. Rosalie says:

    We just got back from the vet. Misty has been hiding, losing weight and not eating. It was so hard to have this happen over Christmas when we couldn’t get into a vet, plus I’ve been very sick with a flue. So today was a long day as we waited until a 6 pm appt. now that the vet is back to work.

    The vet thinks she has quite a large tumour in the stomach area and has internal bleeding. A blood test is being done, but it doesn’t look good. The vet doesnt think she’s in pain, just feeling blah like I did with the flu–wanting to be alone (especially away from our dog).

    So hard. She was one of the prettiest cats I’ve ever had. She is only 11.

  91. Christina says:

    I have been reading all of your stories through crocodile tears. I can understand the pain of losing a cat, a member of the family, a companian. I am sorry for everyone’s losses, and cried reading each and every story on here. I am struggling with the death of Mya, the most soft-heartest, kindest, and beautiful cat I have had the pleasure of owning. We believe she died on New Year’s Day 2012 and my guilt is eating away at me. In 2003 I went to a pet store to look at adoptable cats with my then boyfriend. We looked around and were about to leave when he said hey…what about this one? She looked like a boy cat and I wanted a girl so I said no way I want a girl. We found out it WAS a girl and she was an abused, sick, two year old beautiful half siamese half unknown cat with the most beautiful blue eyes. From that day forward I grew to love her so much. She was gentle, she loved everyone and everything, she had a meow that melted peoples hearts, and she caused no problems ever. She was about 11 years old and I moved out and took my other cat with me. I left Mya with my mom and dad because they loved her so much and asked me to leave her there. I went to visit as often as I could – and Mya always ran to me and we played and it was so wonderful. People who don’t like cats fell in love with her. We noticed she started to get thinner but waited. Then on Christmas Day I went home and she was skin and bones. I thought she wasn’t eating so I went out and bought her favorite food. She ate all of it so I told my mom to feed her that food every day and get her fat again. On New Year’s Eve, I called to check on her and my mom said she wasn’t eating anymore and was so weak. We decided to bring her to the vet on Monday – the closest emergency vet was an hour away. Well, I called my mom on Sunday to check up again and she said Mya had gone and never came back. I cried and cried and cried instead of going there to help find her because I KNEW that if I saw her suffering it would kill me. We never found her and I know she passed away. She never stayed gone long at all. I am heartbroken because I didn’t go see her when she was stil here. I took for granted time….I thought we had more and the vet would help. I have cried nonstop for three days now. I lost one of the greatest animals ever. Her beautiful blue eyes, the way she waited for me after work and greeted me at my car door, the way she patted my head with her paw when she wanted more attention. I am sooo grateful I had 11 years with her but this is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I dreamed about her last night and it made me feel better. I took the day off from work to cry cry cry and it hasn’t stopped. I take with me the fact that we loved her so very much and she had a good life. I will never ever forget my princes Mya and I know she will be in everyone’s hearts she touched forever. See you on the rainbow bridge my love.

  92. katie says:

    Thanks to everyone who has shared their stories. I lost my Sidney today. She was a 10 year old calico. She was very loving and gave me her unconditional love when I was in a depression a year and a half ago over my parents divorce. We rescued her from an adoption clinic after falling in love with her when we had no intention of getting a pet. I’ve been at college for the last year and a half but have been home for break. I knew she was going to pass but I was hoping not this soon. She had been hiding under a bed and not really eating or drinking lately. She spent most of her last day out in the family room with us. She had been resting under the dining room table but around 4pm today I mentioned to my boyfriend that she hadn’t moved much today. I went to use the restroom and I came out and he told me the bad news. I have twin brothers who are 11 and thankfully we were able to keep their last memory of her as alive. I have had many cats in my life but I think we had her the longest. I keep expecting her to come lay on me as I lay in bed but I have yet to fully process she is gone forever now. She was a very dear family member that will be missed.

  93. Asil says:

    There may not have been anything you could have done. My 5 1/2 year old Mr. Poke showed no signs of heart disease until it was too late. He had fluid build-up in his lungs and couldn’t breathe right. He had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which is heart disease where the heart muscle thickens over time until there is fluid build-up in the lungs. It’s much like what happens when seemingly healthy basketball players just drop dead. Later, we find out that they had some undetected heart condition. Mr. Poke probably had it from birth but it didn’t manifest itself until he was 5. He lived a very loving, active short life. The only consolation was that he did not suffer.

    I loved him dearly but I got a kitten to help with the pain, and it’s working. I will always have a place in my heart for Mr. Poke, but I have opened my heart to my new kitten Baird (or Bairdy as I affectionately call him). He is most definitely helping me heal.

  94. Melissa says:

    My best friend Moses, my 14 yo cat, passed away this morning. It was a privilege to have him as a wonderful pet for 12 years.

    I was one of the victims of the Great Recession, losing my job, going back to school for another degree, and now working two low paying jobs. With that went losing everything material, social, and self-esteem, but I had Moses and he got me through it. Every night, I would thank him for being a great friend and that I loved him. I was unable to afford vet care, but I did my best for him and I think he knew it. When his colon and stomach began failing, I tried everything I could do to save him the past week and a half. It’s so hard it being New Years Eve and having this happen. It’s so painful.

    I kept coming back to this site today, trying to think of words to describe what he meant to me, but I just cannot express it. Tonight, I will stay in and raise a toast to such a great loving friend, who is now at peace.

    Danielle: Your cat was not angry with you. You acted out of love for him. My cat died in the same manner. We loved our pets and did the best we could for them and for all of the right reasons. It’s all anybody could ask of you and you rose to the occasion.

    Laurie- Thank for your blog post. It really helped reading it today.

  95. Wynter Erickson says:

    No one has to reply to this..but it would be nice to get it out.. I had my cat Bubbas since he was a kitten, 4-5 years.. I was living with my mom and we had four cats at the time in a two bedroom apartment so I was not excited about our new addition. After he was able to walk and whatnot he started wandering around the house and found his way into my room. I remember squinting his direction but told him he could stay for only a little while and then he would be kicked out. he found one of my socks and we started playing, and then began a relationship I can never replace. After that day, he slept with me every night and rushed into my room whenever I got home. I have moved twice and Bubbas has stayed with me during both moves as my panther and a little piece of the home I grew up in. Today after work and an oil change, I drove to my house and on the sidewalk I saw Bubbas lying on the sidewalk across from our house and in front of our neighbors. I knew something was wrong because he never lies there and he didn’t even stir from the sound of my car. I believe the recycling trash can is still knocked down from my rush of parking. I hurried out of my car to Bubbas and he was just lying there..eyes half open..a puddle of blood from his mouth.. my heart started beating so fast and hard I could feel it in my ears and thought I might faint from an anxiety attack. I said his name a few times just to make sure, and touched his ear..but it was stiff and didn’t flop in the slightest.. my cousins put him in a trash bag very nicely and placed him on the side of the house until I can bury him tomorrow. I wanted to pet him and tell him it would be ok and feel him nuzzle up to my hand. I went to the side of the house and looked at him, and the hardest part was tying up that big black plastic bag that had my cat in it.. Looking at some pictures helps surprisingly, but I will always miss and never forget my little panther, my handsome boy, my kitten.

  96. Jim says:

    I just lost my Torty kitty this Christmas. Her name was Princes PP and she had been ill for several months. She always wanted to go out and the last I seen her she stared in the window and left. I found her a few days ago…Im a grown man and im a basket case. I talked to her and wanted to find her and I believe she led me to her body so I can have closure. She was less than a year old and was a shelter kitty. I love her so much and was glad to find her and it looks like she just laid down and went to the next world. She was buried with her favorite blanket and kitty treats……take care

  97. Kaela says:

    I’ve had my adorable, loving orange cat Tommy for nearly 15 years, and I have to put him to sleep in the morning. I’ve been away at school for most of the past year, and never really saw how sick he was getting. No matter what he was feeling, it just never mattered to him as much as getting a good cuddle from anyone with a hand or foot to spare. Today he just couldn’t catch his breath, we rushed him to the vet and his lungs were almost being crushed by how much fluid was surrounding them. It’s probably cancer, but it could be heart disease. Either way, the vet said my Tommy is dying. He tapped enough fluid for him to breathe normally so we could have the night to say goodbye. How could I have missed how sick he must have been feeling? My poor baby just never complained… I feel so guilty for not getting him checked sooner; I just wasn’t around.

    I grew up with Tommy, we got him when he was a tiny kitten, and I was 6 years old. He’s been my friend and companion (along with 5 other cats) for most of my life, and I’m going to miss him so much. He endured me and my sister’s childhood, and the gradual adoption of 5 cats over the years. He’s been such a good boy, and I’m so grateful for the time we’ve had as friends. I know I probably could have done something to help him sooner, and that it’s too late, but I have so many good memories with Tommy, and I’m glad painful surgeries and treatments weren’t a part of our time together.

    All that’s left is to say goodbye, I hope he won’t be scared.

  98. Deb says:

    I lost my Mittens on December 26, 2011. I had her since she was a kitten almost 17 years ago. She was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism nearly 7 years ago and I had her on Tapazole. She had chronic vomiting for more than a year and the Vet was unable to determine what was the cause. I had last been to the vet at the end of November. Mittens had stopped eating. The only way I could get her to drink was to place a crystal bowl on top of the coffee table. I tried all kind of wet food.

    When I was at the Vet in September she was dehydrated and so she was rehydrated by the vet. I took her home and after several weeks, found a wet food that she would eat. I gave her Pepcid AC once a day as per my vet. In November, we went back, because mittens stopped eating again. Gratefully she was not dehydrated (I guess the bowl on the coffee table was the trick). However, she was down to 3.25 kgs. She was still vomiting and I increased the Pepcid AC to twice a day. However,since then I was able to increase her weight and got her to eat and drink. The vomiting decreased so I really thought it was gastric reflux. She ate a half can of wet food twice a day and dry food. All her blood work was normal.

    I took my kids away for 1 1/2 days on Christmas vacation. We were delayed by 12 hours because of a snow storm. When I got home, we found our Mittens on the floor not far from her litter box. She had drank 1/2 of one the two bowls of water and had eaten some of her dry food. But she was laying down, barely breathing and severely dehydrated. I had often left her for this amount of time and she was always fine, but not this time.

    I feel so guilty that she became so sick and was alone. I had always done everything to keep her well, but I let her down. We ran to the emergency hospital but it was too late. Her pupils were fixed and she had neurological damage. The vet at the hospital told us that she either had a seizure or a stroke. I had to put down my princess after fighting for her life for months. The only relief I have is that she was in my arms when they put her to sleep, something I was never ready to do.

    It has been two days and I find it very difficult. Mittens was an important part of my life. In the last few months, she was never more than a few feet from me. When she became confused in the night, she would cry so I moved to the couch for almost a year to sleep so she would not be alone.

    I miss my beautiful four legged friend. I can’t seem to find out what happened and why she had to suffer alone. I made sure she was never in pain and this time, I was not there for her. This is what really hurts. My friends tell me that I went above and beyond for her, but she was worth every single penny and time that I spent on her.

    I want to say I am so sorry Mittens and I miss you so much. One day we will meet on rainbow bridge. Be nice to Snowball and don’t let her push you around. Hope you have all the catnip that you want. Run in the grass, lie in the sun. Goodbye my beautiful Mitten.

  99. Dear Danielle,

    I am so sorry to hear how your cat passed away, and how terrible you feel. There’s nothing I can say to take the pain away or make you feel better – but please know that you made the best decision you could. It’s easy to look back and wish you’d done things differently, but you have to keep telling yourself that you did what you thought was best. You didn’t want to cause your cat pain, and if you’d known how it would’ve turned out, you would’ve done things differently.

    Please try to forgive yourself. Take a deep breath, and remember the best parts of your cat’s life. The few horrible moments of death are not how you want to remember your cat – or how your cat wants to be remembered!

    Believe there is a kitty heaven, where your cat is sunning herself, rolling in fields of catnip, and chasing mice to her heart’s content.

    Blessings and sympathies,
    Laurie

  100. Danielle says:

    My cat passed away on Christmas day(2011) & it’s only been a day and ifeel terrible for how he died. I feel guilty like it’s my fault he died…. He wasn’t even that old he was about 5 yes old in human years. I’m going to tell you his story…. He was perfectly healthy nothing was wrong , happy little cat as can be. But he started acting weird his tail was down between his legs and his fur was fluffy and out and he was making ugly crying noises, so we took him to the vet to see what was wrong. They said he had a blockeage in urthea(were he pees) so his bladder was expanding caus it was full of pee. He couldn’t pee and he tryed and it was just blood on his peepee. They doctor said it was best if we give him surgery. But we were scared how much it was going to be so we were going to just put him down(that’s not what I wanted) I wanted to help him before we put him down. So they did the surgery and they said he should be ok. Wasn’t 100% but he should be ok. We brought him home and he wasn’t eating /: it was like he gave up. Well 6 days later he died… The way he died…. I just… I’ll never forgot it </3 he was in my arms. Twitching & making ugly faces… I cryed holding him blaming myself because if we put him down he wouldn't have suffered… & it's my fault :'c I love him <3 he was my boy my baby <3… I cry all day long… The look in his eyes were terrifying….. I feel like he hated me for tryin…. Idk how to deal with this can someone help? I'm making my self sick…..

  101. vicky says:

    My cat Sophie died back in July of this year, but even till now, Christmas Eve, I still grieve so much over his death and the fact I won’t be spending this Christmas with him.

    Sophie was a boy, although at first we believed he was a girl, we only discovered he was actually a boy when we had him neutered, but we kept the name anyway.

    I got him when I was 8, and from the moment I saw him, I fell in love with him, he was my everything, 13 years he spent with me. One thing non-cat owners will NEVER understand is that bond you create with a cat, Sophie truly felt like my little baby.

    He was 13 when he died, I am now 21. Early July I noticed some changes, he wasn’t sleeping in his normal spot, instead he would hide all day. His fur changed, I believe it’s when they fail to clean themselves properly, but the biggest change was I noticed he couldn’t go to the toilet properly.

    So I took him to the vets and on the 5th of July, the vet made a discovery of a large tumour in his rectum, which was blocking his movements. Most bereaving cat owners will know the pain I felt at that moment. I took him home, he was to have an xray and possibly surgery to remove it (if the tumour was small enough).

    The following day I spent at home with Sophie, that night I took a video of him.. it was the last night I had with him. The next morning, I picked him up, gave him a cuddle, and took him to the vets. We discovered my worst fear, he had a forest of tumours in his intestines and had to be put down.

    We buried him in our back garden, next to Licorice, his friend, who was 22 and died last year in September, also of a tumour. As my dad dug his grave, I sat on the grass holding him, it was raining down on us.

    I buried him with a letter I wrote, telling him how much I loved him.

    Can’t.. even begin to explain the pain, even now. I loved him so much.

    Rest in peace my beautiful baby.

  102. Nickie says:

    In May I got a little kitten that I named “Sassy” and her name fit her well, I sadly had to put Sassy down yesterday. She had been very ill and I had kept taking her to the Vet and getting her treated. I was out of town yesterday and my boyfriend called and said she was not doing good. I rushed home and took her back into the vet. Blood tests revealed that she had kidney failure, she was so frail and weak. She couldnt even eat or drink anything, I had been feeding her thru a medicine dropper. I decided that it would be selfish to put my Sassy Girl thru painful scary treatments. So I decided to let her go…this was the hardest thing I have ever done. She was the other half of me, we were best friends. Everywhere I went she was…I only got to have her for a few months but those months were great…I am so glad she is not suffering anymore, but I sure do miss my lil girl :(

  103. kye says:

    my beautiful cat mia died yesterday and i miss her so much already this is so hard for me and i just cannot stop crying i have her mum her name is precious but mia was so sweet and i miss her own little ways and her personality
    i had this cat from when my precious was pregnant all the way till now she was 5 1/2 yrs old
    when she was born precious was tryin to give birth to her on my lap mia was precious only kitten so i knew i had to keep her she was just so beautiful and cute she had big blue eyes and was a gorgeous tortie.
    my little mia had some problems she had a hole in her heart and her spine was bent following into her tail causing it to be short and bent and she just couldnt manage to latch on to precious so i would wake every hour through the nite to help her feed precious was such a good mum to her even to now before she died.
    her and prech were so close they would always curl up together and wash each others ears they were just so lovely together and now prech hasnt got her daughter anymore and its making this loss even harder for me just knowing she is grieving too.
    i have so many lovely memories of prech and mia i will keep forever
    i am not 100% how mia went but i found her dead in my home i think she had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy i didnt take her to a vets a coupke of weeks ago becoz i knew she had a hold in her heart and blood was flowing through it the wrong way. i just thought she was a little under the weather she did seem to perk up a bit over the 2 weeks but then suddenly passed away i am feelin this terrible guilty feelin but i was told not too expect her to live as long as other cats would.
    please i need ur help and advice on how to stop crying about this and ease the pain a bit. thanks kye xxx

  104. Asil says:

    My Pokey (Mr. Poke) was 5 1/2 years old and a very healthy, lively, and loving cat. He caught birds, squirrels, mice. Then a week or so ago, he became very lethargic. He didn’t eat or drink the first day, but after that, began eating and drinking again and seemed to be getting better. Then, two days ago, he couldn’t breathe right. It was labored and he ended up panting.

    We rushed him to the emergency vet clinic, and they put him on oxygen. He stayed overnight and was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. He had fluid build-up in his lungs and essentially had congestive heart failure. He had to put him to sleep yesterday afternoon because his prognosis was poor, and even if he survived, he would never have the quality of life he had before this diagnosis. He would have to take pills everyday and wouldn’t be able to go outside anymore.

    I loved this cat so much, and I can’t understand how he could have this illness when he’s been so active and healthy up until now. I’m grieving tremendously for him.

  105. Vanessa says:

    I had gotten a kitten from my friend has an early Christmas present,I have had him for over a week he was doing do good an had had the cutesy personality me and my friend named him khaos well this morning I got up to check on him like I always do n found out he died I have been crying all day and this post has helped meh even though I didn’t have him that long he was like my child an it’s weird not hearing him meow or crawling on me and purring I do hope I can get another kitty but for right now I’m just gonna wait it out.. I feel like it’s my fault that I should of stayed up n played with him for a little bit longer I just wish I could have my kitty back..

  106. Jordan says:

    Hello Everyone,

    Growing up I only ever had a hamster or some fish. 5 years ago, a cat turned up at our doorstep called Tinker, who we took on and love so much. Less than a year ago, we also heard a tiny meow from the front window. I went outside to find a tiny rough looking cat with a tiny head. I took it to the vets and she wasnt microchipped, we asked all the houses near ours if they know who the cat belonged to, but no one replied.

    After begging my Mum for a week to keep the cat, eventually we kept her and named her Jaffa. She was like my little mate. I love Tinker the exact same amount, but Jaffa used to come up to my room with me, and when she liked being stroked, she would lick the covers. All these little things that showed her personality. Over the last week or so, she hasnt been acting herself, sitting in a corner and actually looking upset. She was sick a week ago, but I thought nothing of it, as they have both been sick beore, we just cleaned it up and they were fine. Then, this morning before work, I noticed Jaffa was stil in my room and hadnt come down for her breakfast. So I took some upstairs, and she wasnt even interested. I then went out and rang my Mum asking her how she was. My Mum then said she had to take her to the vets as my Dad found Jaffa crying under his Van. We were then told she had to have an operation on her stomach as she had caught something from an organism. Unfortunatley about 2 hours ago, we were told she went into a coma in the operation and we were asked to take her off the ventilation, as it was doing nothing for her. I am absolutley distraught. I feel guilty as I knew he wasnt well before, but didnt take her to the vets. She was my little mate, and I havent stopped crying since I heard. I really dont know what to do, or if I will ever feel better. I feel like I let her down, as she was only 2 years old. Guilt is deffaintly a big factor of grieving our lost pets! :(

  107. Jody says:

    A week and a half ago I rescued a little black and white kitten who was extremely malnourished and near death. She crawled up my pant leg as I was having dinner at a beach restaurant in Goa. I took her with me, brought her to the animal rescue center, got her medicine and was nursing her back to health in an outdoor camp. I named her Chessa and she slept with me in my tipi and was making a full recovery – eating loads, playing, snuggling and of course purring like crazy! Sadly, last night she was attacked by 4 dogs and didn’t make it through the night. I had to bury her this morning and I feel incredibly awful. Even though we only spent 10 days together, I think saving her and then losing her has intensified my grief. I loved her dearly and will never forget ma little chicken…X

  108. jim says:

    Correction ….his front claws had been remvoved

  109. jim says:

    Rex appeared at my doorstep 6 years ago . The vet estimated his age at 3 at the time . He obviously had a former life in that he was neutered , and his back claws had been removed . He was never sick , an active cat , who loved to spend at least an hour of total time a day on my lap .He was what experts would call a participatory cat. Whatever I was working on he was there by my side . My keyboard always shows signs of his presence with his shedded fur . He came when I called always ready to dish out the “noogies” to my hand or even my face . I took Rex to the vet today because he had been constipated . The vet found a lump, did x rays and discovered a large tumor and congestive heart failure . She said he had 2 weeks at the most . I cried and said my goodbyes to the little guy . Its 4 in the morning as I write this . My wake up call is 2 hours away . Thats when he would jump in bed to ask for breakfast . He wasn’t pushy , always polite , willing to patiently wait for his 1st meal of the day . I miss him so much .

  110. Rebecca says:

    Dear lovely friends on this website.. I have not met but feel the greatest of affection for you all…

    Your stories are all so very personal and it gives such a feeling of support that I can’t really put into words.. Sarah I feel so sad for you with your story of your cat being put down today and my heart is with you..

    Since losing my kitten Grace just a couple of weeks ago my world was turned upside down and she only appeared in my life for just 3 weeks imagine.. but she was a gift and the experience was incredibly pure.

    I have since come to understand the nature of love that animals can give and this has opened my heart to such an extent I am going with it. I have now taken to buying cat food for the local cats I see on the streets at night and it is the greatest of joy feeding them that I now carry it when out at night or popping to the cafe on the corner! This morning I met the cutest white cat who totally melted my heart and I sat with her for about 15 mins feeding her and having a cuddle.. this is the gift that Grace my kitten has given me. The capacity to love and after all that never ends..

    Be strong won’t you and remember you can’t control life but you can control love as after all it has no end..you will connect with your angel on an energetic level and the love you shared will continue.

    Much love to you all.. the friends I dont know but yet seeing your stories makes me incredibly touched.

    Goodnight and love to you all… Rebecca xxx

  111. Sarah says:

    My beautiful cat (Kitty) is going to be put down tomorrow. I’m away at university, so it’s hard knowing that the last time I saw her (which was during Canadian Thanksgiving … about a month ago) was the last time I’ll ever see her.

    It all started about six months ago, when I went down into the basement one day, and she came to greet me, as usual … except she was bleeding out of one of her nostrils. We brought her to the vet, and they suspected congestive heart failure, but the x-rays showed no fluid in the lungs. They ran some more tests and found that she had high blood pressure, which they thought was causing the capillaries in her nostril to burst, causing the nosebleeds. This seemed a little strange to me … why would she only be bleeding out of one nostril? And, despite the medication, she was still continuing to bleed from her nostril.

    As time passed, that one side of her face began to swell, and her face began to become more and more disfigured, and the nosebleeds never stopped. We took her back to the vet, and the real cause was determined – she had a tumour in one side of her face. They said that they could put her on chemo meds, but it was a poor prognosis; the cancer was found in a very late stage. It angers me to think that, had they simply taken an x-ray of her face in the first place (where the actual symptoms were happening!!), we might have had more time with her.

    She’s been on chemo and heavy-duty pain meds since the summer, but things began to worsen after my parents went back home after having visited me over the weekend. She’s very lethargic and tired, and can only sleep on one side of her body, since her head is so big and swollen now. Even though she’s on pain medication, she meows and whines quite frequently, so it’s likely that she’s still in pain. Her back legs are apparently very weak, and she sleeps a lot more than usual.

    It’s hitting me really hard. We got her from the Humane Society. It was likely that she had been abused by her previous owners, because she was very tense and got very scared if she got too close to a person’s shoes/legs (we suspect she had been kicked). She was very fierce and somewhat aggressive at first (she used to jump on my head when I was little!), and we didn’t exactly get along at first … she’d scratch me at the slightest provocation, and I was almost too scared to go near her in the fear that she would attack me (I was a very young child at the time, and the thought of claws and teeth scared me). Over time, however, she mellowed out, and I became more assertive. Our relationship completely flipped. She let go of her fear of people, and I let go of my fear of her. She began to jump on my lap when I was on the computer, follow me, purr whenever I came in the room … she turned into the picture perfect image of the ideal cat.

    When my sister left for university last year, I was often alone in the house during the evenings. It could be a very lonely time, especially during the Winter when it was often dark at 4:00 in the afternoon. But she’d come up from the basement, jump on the bed, and curl up and go to sleep at my feet … it was really special because she pretty much lives in the basement, because it’s separated from the upstairs floor where my mom’s dogs stay (the dogs and cat don’t get along), so when the dogs were away, she’d come all the way upstairs to come visit me.

    We had a very special connection. I have four dogs, and I love them to bits, but the connection I have with them is not anywhere close to the bond I have with Kitty. It’s so heartbreaking knowing that today is her last day on Earth, and tomorrow I don’t even get to say goodbye to her. I’m going home in two weeks, and I was so excited to see her … but realistically, I’m probably just going to end up bawling my eyes out when I go in the basement, because it will be so empty without her … and knowing that she’ll never sit on my lap and purr when I’m on the computer upsets me a great deal. Still, I know she’s in a lot of pain, and it would be selfish to keep her alive in such a state … but she was my beautiful Kitty, and I will always appreciate everything she gave me. I’ll always love her and always cherish the time spent together. All I hope is for her passing to be smooth and for her to finally get the rest she deserves after fighting for so long. Love you so much, Kitty.

  112. Angie says:

    Thank you for your kind words Laurie, i am better now, i still miss her,and it’s hard when i wake up and she is not next to me , but i try thinking possitive and that she is on a better place now :(
    i also hope she wasn’t in any pain.

    Blessings
    Angie

  113. Rebecca says:

    Lee.. thank you so so much for your message.. means such a lot to me. Today is a special day 11/11/11.. sending much love to you too.
    xx

  114. Diana McCaleb says:

    Hello everyone, I would like to start out by saying that I’m sorry for all the losses. They truely are family members & they may be gone but will never be forgotten.

    My husband & I bought our first house 3 years ago, little did we know that we would also be getting a clan of 11 feral cats on top of the 4 we already had inside. Having worked at a vet’s office I knew exactly what happens at shelters & couldn’t bear the thought of taking them. So I did what any cat lover would do, I started feeding; It took a little while but I eventually got all of them tame, spayed/neutered, dewormed, & vaccinated. I found a real home with a family for 2 of the cats, & one of the other females I only see about twice a year as she’s not welcomed by the top female.

    Anyways, these cats have become a huge part of my life & I love them just as much as my “insiders”. I’ve only had a few injuries since I started (one being shot in the leg), but with medical attention all have recovered & thrived. That was until a few days before Halloween. I went out to feed as I do every morning & I noticed that Penelope didn’t show, which isn’t too unusual if I get up late. Then the next morning she didn’t show up again, I was worried so I went looking for her. I found her mangled body no more that 200ft from the house. I’m guessing that she had gotten hit by a car as I could not find any puncture wounds that would indicate a predator. I buried her by myself, I’m suprised I kept composed long enough to dig her grave & carry her to it. I loved that beautiful little cat so much… it breaks my heart. Her death has been extremely difficult to overcome. I’ve have a hard time accepting that she’s gone, the “shell” I buried didn’t look like it could’ve ever contained her precious spirit. I feel so depressed & alone, sometimes it’s like the only thing getting me up out of bed is all the others that depend on me for food & attention. I know the pain will pass but it’s just hard. Of course it doesn’t help that I am 500 miles away from my closest family member & my husband is currently deployed.

    Penelope was the sweetest cat, all she wanted was love & attention. Sometimes leaving her food at feeding time for a few extra scratches, even if that meant her food got eaten by others. I wish so badly that I could’ve found her a home. She was such a sweet soul, she would’ve made a wonderful companion. The worst part of it is that I know she suffered, she was almost back to the house when she fell. To know that she walked over 2 acres with injuries that were so catastrophic in nature just hurts me to the core. Even if I had found her in time there would’ve been nothing they could do. I just wish I could’ve been there to at least comfort her. On top of that, the night she died she was begging for attention when I went out to feed my dog, I was under-dressed & it was cold so I went back inside. I know it’s crazy to think it was at all my fault, but I can’t help but wonder; if I wouldn’t have taken it for granted that she would be there in the morning, stayed & petted her it might have changed her course of actions, she may have even stayed close to the house. I feel so guilty & powerless, I’m terrified that it will happen to someone else.

    The only thing that has seemed to ease my pain is art. I made a digital painting of my little Penelope. I’m not sure if it’s because of the intense emotions I have been feeling or what, but I feel that it is the best piece of art I have ever completed. Sorry for my long painful story, but it does feel good to be able to tell it to somebody, especially people who may be able to understand it more as they are most likely feeling the same. Thank you for all of you that read what I have written, I really appreciate your thoughts & I will keep all of you in mine. Never forget, just like all the ones we have all lost before, they are patiently waiting for us at the rainbow bridge.

    Sincerely ~Diana
    P.S. If anyone wants to see the digital painting I did of my dear sweet Penelope you can find it here:
    http://katiyana-tika-ani.deviantart.com/art/Penelope-267592627

    or here:
    http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.151079494906113.32478.100000121898624&type=3#!/media/set/?set=a.151079494906113.32478.100000121898624&type=3

  115. Lee says:

    To Rebecca
    May PEACE be with You
    Lee

  116. Rebecca says:

    Hi everyone..I have been readling through your stories and my heart feels so many things but most of all there is a connection.

    I rescued a beautiful little kitten a month ago.. she was so ill with a terrible mouth infection that had spread right down to her jaw and was literally starving to death because of it. I took her to the vets and from that moment bonded with her as we watched her recover.. I called her Grace as believe she is a divine soul.. the vets said they had never come across such an affectionate kitten and she melted everyone’s heart who she came in contact with..

    I am in the Middle East and am leaving in a month’s time to Asia and coming back in March.. made the decision to take her with me to Europe when I will settle next year so put the word out for a foster home.

    She was flooded with replies it was a miracle.. I chose a retired lady but this was the biggest mistake I now have to live with. This woman is very seriously ill and on medications so not totally stable.. She looked after my Grace for a week and then took her outside in a blanket going out surrounded by highways, noise and construction and Grace freaked out and escaped. The woman did not tell me for 3 days and when I found out I searched hours and hours in the middle of huge construction sites for hours on end in vain.. she had died the next morning the security guards had found her.

    I am heartbroken and am going through such stages of grief… regret for giving her to this woman, sadness for the loss of what I believed was the future, pain to think of Grace suffering although it seems she did not have any external injuries so am not certain how she died.. its so devastating.

    The animal energy is so beautiful and can’t seem to stop thinking of how she trusted me and closed her eyes while nuzzling me in her blanket and rubbing her nose on mine.. its such a difficult time for me.

    I am going to bury her blanket and my top tomorrow and light some candles and buy a small flower to grow.. I know I will connect to her beautiful energy but still this trauma has really knocked me backwards.

    Have never written on a blog before but seeing all your messages was so special.

    Much love, Rebecca x

  117. Lee says:

    Thanks so very much Laurie

  118. Dear Angie,

    I’m so sorry to hear how your cat died. You connected with her in such a special way – almost on a spiritual level! You and she WILL meet again.

    Maybe she didn’t die in pain – maybe her body was in shock, and she didn’t feel anything. Maybe she died immediately, and went directly to Heaven — where she’s waiting for you now. She’s at peace now, and not in any pain.

    I hope you’re feeling better. You’ll always mourn her death, but I hope you are starting to remember her with love and happiness.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  119. Dear Lee,

    I’m sorry to hear how your cat died, and that you feel so guilty. Remember that if you had known that she was so sick, you would have called and taken her to the veterinarian sooner!

    You have to forgive yourself – you did the best you could for your cat. You didn’t do anything wrong, so you don’t have anything to feel guilty about! Your cat must have eaten something or gotten bit by something that caused her death…it wasn’t your fault, it was a sad accident that happened.

    I hope you can start to remember your cat with love and peace, and honor her memory by thinking of her with joy instead of pain. You gave her a good life – you rescued her from a bad owner! You changed her life for the better, and she knew that.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  120. Lee says:

    My Cat Stella was about five years old & really cute.
    I rescued her about 3 years ago from a bad owner. ironically
    she died yesterday morning, shortly before a trip to the Vet.

    To me it’s a mystery as to what happened to her.
    Stella was always a very skinny indoor cat she was
    very talkative, and also a very picky eater.
    About 5 weeks ago she escaped & returned a few hours
    after enjoying her freedom. So I don’t know if she
    got bit by a tick to cause her to gradually get sick and die.

    Over the last 2 months she’s been geting really skinny.
    Then about 3 weeks ago when I was brushing her
    and I felt her ribs and spine, I knew she was way
    too skinny. So I immediatley called the Vet and
    made an apointment. But they did’t have any openings
    until Nov 2nd. As her appointment neared she seemed
    to get very frail, very weak and less talkative. I am now so sad and
    quite guilt ridden, That I didn’t call the Vet sooner I didn’t
    know her urgent her condition really was. Sadly little Stella died
    in her sleep early in the morning on the day of her apointment.

    If somebody has to any clue of what happened & why she died
    please post it here
    MOURNING IN NH

  121. Angie says:

    My cat died yesterday night… a car hit her 20 minites after she left the house.my bf found her..it looked like it was on purpose cause it was on the side of the road…i feel this is my fault if i had remembered closing that window this would never happen.I know it’s my failt.
    i feel like i lost a child (i know that this may sound silly ) but she was my baby..i only had her 2 years but still…, :( i feel like i lost a person.
    she was my first cats child.. she slept everynight with me.. she said to me “goodnight” with her beautiful big eyes and in the morning when i woke up she came and “tell” me goodmorning with her cutest meows that i will never hear again, we where connected in a way i haven’t connected with another animal..i have lost animals before but this is so different , i also have 2 more cats (her mother and sister) ofc i love them and i wouldn’t want anything happen to them.. but she was my baby..since she was tiny..
    …i love her so much,now i will never hug her again.. and she died in pain i know..i can’t stop thinking of her .. and the picture of her damaged body…i can’t stop crying.. i can’t stop feeling sad for her :( my poor little baby… i can’t stop feeling mad with me. and the person that hit her and left her there in so much pain…
    my poor baby.
    i am sorry for the long post and my bad english (I am Greek)
    Blessings
    Angie

  122. Thank you for sharing your stories of your cats with me. It makes me sad to hear how people lose their cats, but less alone to know I’m not alone! Coping with my cat’s death was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  123. Catina says:

    My cat died this morning,and it happened in less than 15 minutes. He slept with us, and woke up as always. Suddenly he started to cry and 10 minutes later he was dead. The Vet said it was a terrible heart attack.
    My soul cries, all day long I´ve been of doing anything, only I cry, cry and cry. He was gorgeous, he loved me and I began to love again because of Mischa, he brought light and tenderness to my life. He was my first pet, I´d like to know he is well now and happy. I´m in shock yet, and know nobody can live this for me, but I need to share my pain with those who know what is to lost a beloved pet. Thankyou for being there

  124. Dennis says:

    Twenty years ago we decided to get companion cat for our big male cat named Alex.We named this cat Anna ,a female.
    At that time Alex was about three or four and to my best recollection had never seen another cat since he was strictly a indoor cat.
    I will never forget the first time Alex saw Anna ,he stared at her for hours and rebuffed Anna’s attempt to cozy up to him ,but by the next morning there they where cuddled together with Alex cleaning little Anna.From that day on they were buddies.
    In 2004 Alex passed away.It was apparent to, me that Anna was confused about Alex’s death .Maybe she was morning as i was .
    Well here we are today Sept 8 ,2011 and Anna died at 3.30 this morning.She did not die alone ,i was with her.
    It has been sort of a roller coaster the last few months with her but she ate like pig as seemed to be in no pain but we could see her decline .The Vet simply said she was failing do to old age.
    The last couple of days where really rough .i took her back to the vet yesterday morning and he suggested we put her down. I guess out of selfish reasons i just could not do it right then.He understood and asked me to force feed water and nutrients to her of which i did but she fought me and i new that if there was no improvement today i would have taken her back and had put her to sleep.I really do feel she wanted to die and she did it on her own terms.
    When i finish this story i will bury her next to Alex. I will always remember both of them.It is really tough having a pet cat for a big chunk of your life and losing them.

  125. Kelly says:

    Hi I lost my beloved cat not even a week ago. He was hit by a car, I miss him so much. He was barely an adult cat and had only been going out for 6 months. I miss him sleeping on my bed with me, I cannot bare not being with him. I just hope whoever did this gets their karma, they didn’t even stop to help him.

  126. Hello Linza,

    I’ve been thinking about you and your cats’ deaths, and sending you warm cyber hugs. If we were friends in real life, we could go to a kick boxing class together :-)

    I wrote this article for you:

    Angry Feelings Out of Control? Tips for Managing Rage That Roars

    I don’t know if it’ll help, but like I said, I was thinking about you. So, I thought I’d throw it out there. I welcome your thoughts, there or here.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  127. Linza says:

    I’m working out more, trying to get through the anger. hopefully i can feel better.

  128. Dear Linza ~ I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something helpful and wise, but I know there aren’t any words to make things better. Time will heal, eventually…and you’ll always carry your memories of your beloved cat in your heart. You have my deepest sympathies.

    Dear Carol ~ what a sad way to go for your little Gypsy. :-( Though she came to such an awful end, you gave her two years of wonderful, happy, peaceful, beautiful life! In time, the memories of how she died will fade. The poor thing. But you gave her such a good life…and that’s what you need to hold on to and remember. The two years of happiness are far more important than the terrible seconds of death. If she’s alive somewhere – if her soul lives on – she’ll be remembering the good, not the bad.

    Dear Amber ~ Thank you for sharing about your cat Piper. I’m so sorry to hear how his life ended. It’s not your fault he died – you did the best you could in getting his flea medication to him. If you’d have known he would’ve died, you would’ve done everything in your power to save him! I hope you can forgive yourself, and remember Piper with love and happiness.

    Dewy, Becky, Elizabeth, Jaymz ~ Thank you for sharing your stories of your cats here. This is a memorial and tribute to them that will never be lost — your beloved cats will live forever in your hearts, minds, and souls.

    Blessings and sympathies,
    Laurie

  129. Linza says:

    wow…Lost my beloved on Ash Wednesday of this year, but I still had her adopted sister, whom I love dearly. She passed away last Thursday. I can’t seem to pull it together. Punky was 17 and I had the Lovely Mookie for 14 years. Doesn’t matter, don’t want to hear ‘oh you had them for so long’…doesn’t help. My heart is bleeding like it will never stop. 4 months after the first death. Really? REALLY? This is the hand I’m dealt. Oh yeah, I’m furious, I’m so mad I could chew glass. I hate my house I hate everything around me right now. There is no way out.

  130. Carol says:

    My beautiful little cat Gypsy was attacked and killed by a dog just behind our house on Saturday morning 23/07/11. I miss her so much, she had shared our home for two years, we took her in when we noticed she was sleeping in the shed in our back yard even though we have another cat Ollie who we have had for 13 years. she was very timid and looked like she had been badly treated, but we coaxed her into trusting us and soon she was coming in to eat her food in our kitchen and it wasnt long until she moved in. I cannot get the horror of how she died out of my head, but I hope in time I will just remember the joy she gave us, its just so sad to think that she had had such a bad time before she came to us and that she should die in such a violent way.

    Carol

  131. Amber says:

    My cat piper died..I loved him..he was like a dog and would follow me everywhere and just sit and watch me. He like to watch people. He was a special black cat. I found him lying in a shed under the four wheeler like he was asleep. I dont know what happend, maybe the sun. I had got an apartment that was no animals allowed. My first apartment so I had to take it and leave piper with my boyfriends mother. She loved piper to and spoiled him as well. He warmed up to her and slept on top of her head on the pillow every night and followed her around. She asked me if she could officially own piper. I agreed becuase they loved eachother. I would visit piper often about everyweek/two week. Piper was put out of the house this summer for his flees. When I would go over and see him I noticed he was agitated and wanted back into his home. I decided to get him flee medicine. My car had problems so I could never make it in time to get his medicine due to my BF working till 5. I found piper today dead and I had tried to get medicine before I found him. I was going to get him medicine monday for sure. Im so sad I didnt get him his medicine. I feel like he was still mine and he needed me and if he would have had his medicine he could have been in the house alive. I am afraid he died from anemia from flees or had a heat stroke. Piper lived a good life. I will never give a very loved pet to anyone elses ever again, no one was at blame here but it just made me realize that alot could have killed him with him being in anyone elses hands and when you love an animal and they feel part of you, you should never leave then to live with anyone.

  132. Dewy says:

    It’s been almost a week since my little fatty’s gone. he is 14 month old and I brought him home with his elder sister last September.
    Since I had to go abroad for 3 weeks, I put them at their birth home and assume it’s best for them. Things went OK until sometime last week (when I was on the return flight home). By the time I reached home, was told that he disappeared..from 31 floor…

    I drafted a post to look for him and bumped into the cleaner of the apartment……she saw him….my little baby…

    He fell off from 31st floor to 4th floor (that’s an park attached to that apartment) in the very morning when I was supposed to bring them back home!!!!

    That’s no words to express my sadness and mimi (his elder sister)’s sadness. I still ‘see’ him everywhere home (apparently, mimi still smell him everywhere home, she has been looking for him since then and keep yelling – they are always very quiet cats) . But fatty will never come back to us…every cat (animal) is unique with their own character……I might find mimi another accompany but that nobody can replace her younger brother who are with her since she comes to the world…..

    I even wrote a blog in memory of him and to get it over the pain. But it doesn’t work at all. I didn’t expect it to be that hurt…as if there is a hole in my deep heart, bleeding…For a long time, I was a bit more in favor of mimi, as she is sweeter and closer to me. Fatty is totally a boy, naughty and bold. But now, I only wish I could find him back at any price…..It took my breath away whenever I tried to imagine the pain he must be suffering at his last moments. imagine how terrified he must feel and I AM NOT EVEN THERE FOR HIM!!!It’s killing me…

    I don’t feel this is real…don’t know how to cope with the pain

    Thank you for setting up the site. now, at least I know I am not alone. Pray for everyone who suffer the loss of their special ones..

  133. Becky says:

    I lost my beautiful cat, Gypsy, on July 11, 2011. About a month ago, I noticed one night she was acting very funny. She was hiding underneath my bed, and I realized she hadn’t eaten dinner. She was always a picky eater, but she usually would try a bite or so, at least. I looked underneath my bed to see her, and something wasn’t right. She then got up from underneath my bed and hopped on top of my bed. I noticed her balance was off, and she was a little wobby. I KNEW something was wrong..I told myself I would take her in the next day to the vet, thinking there would be nothing too wrong with her, and maybe it was the medicine she was on. The next day I took her to the vet, and they told me she was “doing really bad” and that they would try to give her medications, but they really thought I should just put her to sleep. I was devastated. I didn’t expect that kind of news. They told me she had jaundice, most likely from not eating, and that something else could be wrong, but the only way to know would be to get hospitalized or get further treatment. I got her hospitalized, a few days later she was doing better. The iV Fluid had helped, and she started to eat again on her own. I visited her everyday and held her, talked to her. She seemed to be more lively, and excited again about life. I was allowed to take her home. She was on medications for at least 2 weeks, and didn’t seem to get better. I then got her hospitalized again, and got an ultrasound. The vet called me and told me the worst news of my life. They found something – a large mass (10x the size it should be) and it was near/and or on her pancreas and pressing down on her liver. They told me this is something really hard to treat, but she could get surgery and go through chemo treatment, ect. I didn’t know what to do. I knew I couldn’t afford that kind of treatment and I don’t even think Gypsy would survive going through all of that and I don’t think she would have liked it very much. I made the hardest decision of my life, and I knew my Gypsy was in pain. After about a few days of being home, she was not doing well. Hiding, turning away from me when I pet her. She was miserable, and so was I. I couldn’t bare to watch her be in pain, I knew what I had to do. Two vets came to my house that day to put my Gypsy to sleep. I held her in my arms as I carried her downstairs. She layed on the couch, as I pet her face and told her how much I loved her. This was the worst pain I have ever felt in a very very long time. I lost my best friend that day. I didn’t want her to be in pain and I knew it was the right decision. The cancer was killing her, and it was killing me to see her in pain. I love my Gypsy so much and it was so hard to let her go. I still deal with the guilt of knowing I had to make that decision, but I know she is in a better place, full of fresh green grass and food, and she is happy again, with me in spirit. Rest in peace my Gypsy, I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know. <3

  134. Elizabeth says:

    My longhaired cream and white cat, Milo, of 14 years had to be put down yesterday. He started acting very sick about two weeks ago, and we took him to the vet and found out his kidneys and liver were in bad shape, and he had jaundice. We were shocked to learn his skin was bright yellow.

    But the vet said there was a chance we could save him. So we tried, we gave him some fluids from an IV every day, and handfed him special food. He seemed like he was getting a little better, too…he even washed himself again. But then he acted sleepy again…and yesterday he was in horrible shape…he couldn’t even get up and walk..his legs wouldn’t budge. He just lay there, limp, with shallow breathing…the only time he really responded was when I left the room, came back, and he raised his head up to look at me…as if he wondered where I went. Or maybe he wanted to talk to me with his eyes somehow.

    So we called the vet, me and my boyfriend, my parents were at work and couldn’t, and they said to bring him in, and my bf’s mom took us. I just held Milo in a blanket there. We brought him in, and he couldn’t even raise his head up, it was just hanging. They said he was in pain, and had a low body temperature of 93. I agreed to let him be put to sleep.

    I was strong about it most of the day, me and my boyfriend cried some…then my parents came home, and dad gave up his toolbox just for him, since he didn’t think the cardboard box they put him in would do him justice. So we placed him in the empty toolbox, covered with a blanket under and on top, it was like he was sleeping in a little bed, and there was his food dish filled with treats, and a bottle cap, and Christmas toy, because he loved caps, and I got him as a Christmas gift when I was 5 years old. Dad wrote a note, too…”My Milo, the world’s laziest cat…till we meet again my friend.” He got buried in our flower garden.

    I guess it didn’t really hit me until later on. I tried to be strong, but it just sank in…and now I miss him horribly. I figured I would comment here too. None of you are alone…it all is so terrible…but I’m sure these cats are all happy now, wherever they are.

  135. Jaymz says:

    Last September, my wife and I found an injured kitty about 4 weeks old, outside our building entrance. We took him in, took him to the vet and then decided to keep him as he was the cutest, quietest and nicest kitty we had ever seen. We named him Koui, because of a cute little noise he made when we played with him. It so happens that for the next 10 months he became our best friend, one of the greatest joys of our everyday life. He was our companion, our friend and our relief from all the woes of life.

    After he grew up a little, he wanted to go out and play with the other cats that live in the common area of our apartment building. So we let him. Most nights he slept outside our kitchen window (we live on the ground floor) and he was there every morning to come inside and have breakfast and snooze on the couch. He really was a happy cat. He had a home where he was loved and where he felt safe. He also had other cats he could play with and be with his own kind and be happy.

    A couple of nights ago around 2:30am I heard a horrific cry, a bad cat fight. So I got up and opened my window and saw a huge black dog running along the building’s garage ramp, and then jump over the fence into the night. As he was running I heard the sound of the little bell Koui had on his collar. I ran out to the ramp, and saw him. He was laying there, as if asleep. I went up to him and called his name. I swear I saw his mouth move just a little bit, as if he was trying to say something to me. Probably goodbye, or simply “why?”. He didn’t move again. The black dog had killed him. Our hearts almost exploded from the pain we felt.

    Yesterday I called in sick from work and took him to my parents house to bury him in the back yard. I put him in his little bed along with some of his toys and a can of food (I don’t know why, it was one of the gourmet treats we reserved for special occasions) and buried him there, so I can visit him and always know where he is.

    I just feel so devastated as does my wife. I never thought I would feel like this. We are talking about moving since our apartment feels so empty and cold to us know. I simply cannot grasp the unfairness of what happened. He didn’t run away, he wasn’t run over by a car and he didn’t get sick and die, all of which are not better but are more common and I feel as if I could accept something like that a little easier. A huge black dog appeared out of nowhere and out of all the cats that were around chose to attack and murder Koui. He was only 12 months old or so and was so nice and kind hearted, he would have been the nicest old cat, had he been able to live his life. He would have been huge and fury and would have had the longest tail I’d ever seen in a cat! We made fun of him for that…

    I never imagined I’d feel like this. There is a large weight in my stomach and a pain in my heart. I will never forget Koui and will always cherish the moments we got to spend with him. With his great personality and tenderness he really taught me a lot. May he rest in peace and find happiness wherever he is right now. Goodbye my good friend.

  136. Thank you for sharing your stories of your cats, and how they left this world. Our beloved cats live on in our hearts, and we must remember them with peace, joy, and happiness. After that’s what they’d want, right?

  137. minke says:

    I had to put my cat Oortje (dutch for little ear) to sleep. SHe had Renal failaire but lived for a couple of yours with it, taking the special dietfood. We were still happy although she was old and a real granny. She still layed on my pillow and went outside with me for a short walk. Or in the garden. But then she stopped eating and I still don’t know if it was the Renal failure or the abcess in her mouth. but she was too weak to wait for the antibiotics to kick in, i should have gone to the vet sooner. I blame myself every minute. But I also know she was really old 18 and she lived perhaps more for me and my mother. She loved laying on my lap in my room while I watched tv or on my bed on my pillow, next to my head.
    I haven heardly stopped crying since the night of 2 / 3 july, or really from thursday because I knew it might almost be over.
    I don’t know how i’ll ever survive this. She was my all. I didn’t move out (am 33 years) because I loved her so much and didn’t want to seperate her from my mother either.
    I hope her spirit will be with me or when she wants to. where-ever I am, in my new – not yet ready – apartment or now at my moms house or when I visit her in the future.
    I hope one of these links underneath will help me cope with my loss. Cos I ain’t doing a good job.

  138. Ann says:

    I had to put my beloved cat, Chewy, to sleep last Thursday. The hurt is so intense. I don’t know if I will ever get over this. He was such a part of my life. It is only my son and myself. My son is never home so Chewy was always there for me. He always sat with me each night while watching TV. He was my company. I would talk to him. He was a very loving cat. I miss him so much it is riping my heart out. I loved him very much. Every where I look reminds me of him. He was my first animal. My first cat. I never had to put anything to death before. It’s not right. I know he was very sick and was suffering. For this, I am gradful that I had the courage to do what I had to do. I pray for all of us who have lost our special friends. May we find peace in our hearts.

  139. Joe_LovesyouIsis says:

    I am currently crying my eyes out over writing this after the loss of a very dear family cat I lost yesterday. Her name was Isis and although she belonged to my mum in the house she was always there everyday. She had one heck of a personality, hissed everytime anyone passed her but she also had a very sweet one.
    My mum got the news yesterday that she’d been hit by a car. Apparently she ran outside to see her final moments. I didn’t dare go outside as I knew I’d fall down in tears. The impact of the car had apparently broken her back and from what my mum explained she’d been moving her front half trying to get out of the road. The part that got myself and my mum was that as soon as she heard her voice she tried moving towards her. She died in her arms then and was buried in the back garden next to another recently passing cat of ours. We do have 6 others although, she was unique in the fact she had a personality and has really grasped our hearts. I’m going to miss her all so dearly. I hope she knows how much we care because she’s left a mark in our family and we will never forget her.
    R.I.P Isis <3

  140. Rich says:

    I found my cat, Ash, dead early this morning. Last night she didn’t come to “help me” get to sleep like she usually does. I got up earlier than usual to look for her because she hadn’t visited during the night. I found her in her hiding place in the basement. I buried her in the back yard at sunrise, wrapped in a towel. I put in a piece of rope from her scratching post that she had shredded with her vigorous scratching.

    She was only about 8-9 years old and appeared healthy up to the end. She was so full of energy and always wanted to play and have attention. Of my two cats, she was the “wild” one – I’d joke and say that she was my “girl gone wild” when she’d tear around the house wanting to play. The last time we played was yesterday morning before work. She was her usual wild self.

    The sad part is that, in retrospect, I think she died of stress. She suffered some unknown kind of trauma when she was about 2 1/2 and after that she just didn’t get along with Smoke, my other cat. Up to that point they were best friends, sleeping curled up together, etc. After the traumatic event she was at best tolerant of Smoke. She became kind of an oddball…she’d react to attention and petting, begging for more and more then suddenly become hostile and hyper-vigilant looking for Smoke, sometimes tearing after Smoke to swat at her a couple of times then run back to me. They never physically hurt each other but hostility became more common. In addition I’ve had job and living situations change and so both cats suffered from multiple moves in the past 3 years. So, I think that the chronic stress killed her.

    I’ve also experienced other losses in the recent past, so I know that this “numb” feeling is just the beginning. I’ll make it, but it won’t be easy. I already miss her.

  141. Rick says:

    My wife Linda died on may 14 2011

    we had two cats they were our family the older one is not very scocal but the other one loved everyone he got out of the house and a nabor found him today he had been hit by a car..
    I will Miss you my Boy!
    RIP Frankie 5/29/2011
    Im sorry Linda I love you!

  142. Emma says:

    My cat died this morning. I tapped the side of the food tin to call my cats in for breakfast, and one cat (Kat) came running in, the other didn’t(Kit). I then got a knock on the door from the neighbour who said there was a black cat up the road who had been hit, and that he didn’t think the cat was alive. I walked up the road to see that it was true. It’s so upsetting. Both cats are only 10 months old, so it’s quite upsetting he lived quite a short life. He was really sweet and friendly – they both are – and I’ll miss him. I love my cats to pieces. R.I.P. to Kit. I hope everyone else who has suffered pet loss can recover.

  143. Dear Belinda,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your cat, Baby Little. Poor Kuya, who seems to be missing him so much. Animals really do mourn, and feel the pain of loss and death.

    Thank you for sharing your story – your experience has touched other people who are mourning their lost pets.

    Thanks for your prayers, and I wish you healing and the ability to remember Baby Little with joy, peace, and happiness — no more pain.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  144. Belinda says:

    I am happy to have stumbled to this site because I just lost my very very dear cat, Baby Little, last 3 June 2011. I was with him all throughout his last moments until he breathed his last. I was touching him, holding him, talking to him. I told him “Baby, I am just here with you, ok?” But I lost him still. I cried and cried and cried when I realized he was no longer moving. Yes, I read all the comments and experiences shared here and I do share the pain. I know how it feels because it is still such a gaping wound in my heart. And I don’t think it will never truly heal because I know we will never be a complete little family again….Baby Little, his brothers Nikki, Alex and Kuya Ibarro and I. I feel like echoing what Misty….Forever said..I can’t stand the pain, I can’t, I can’t. I cry each time I think of him. I see him everywhere in the house. I feel the pain stab me when I feed the remaining three cats. It hurts…it so hurts. Sometimes it feels like my heart would burst in pain.

    But I am telling myself, I have to be strong for Alex, Nikki and Kuya. Of the three, Kuya is the one taking it the hardest. For three days now since we buried Baby Little in my little flower garden, Kuya has been crying outloud and sniffing every corner of the house. He cries anytime of the day and night and sniffs the spots where Little used to sleep. I have been losing sleep because of his crying too. That is how I came to this site. I was researching to find out what is happening to Kuya since he isn’t like this before. I need to help him cope with his grief as much as I need to live with mine. But I have to be strong because no one in my family shares my love for my cats. They do not understand why I should grieve and cry over a simple cat. But Baby Little is not a simple cat. He is simply MY CAT, my dear baby….a loving and unique member of my small family.

    Thank you so much for putting a site like this where we can share our sadness and pain over the loss of our cats. It does make me feel a little better to talk about my grief with people who share the same experience. I know it will take a long time for the tears to stop, but it helps to know, I have found a FAMILY in here too. I pray to God for His healing hand to touch me. And I will pray for all of you too who are grieving for your lost cats.

    Thank you and may God help us all to heal our broken hearts.

  145. Thank you for sharing your experiences with losing your cats. The grieving process never really ends, I don’t think.

    My heart still breaks for the cats I’ve loved and lost…but I try to remember them with love, joy and happiness instead of pain and regret.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  146. Annemarie says:

    Hi all purry lovers

    I want to sympathize with every person who went through the painful experience of loosing a catty.

    Two years ago I brought home two kittens who were brothers, Mercury and Venus. They were inseparable and a great joy to our home. My husband, who wasn’t familiar with the intelligence, pride, aloofness(!), playfulness, joy and love of cats, soon enjoyed to share time with them both, especially in our garden where they all used to play hide and seek!

    Then Mercury, a lovely black and white cat, showed signs of depression. We were really ignorant about cat illnesses and did not know anything about FIV. For about a year he underwent a personality change and we thought he was just becoming a demanding catty who wanted to do all the things in the house they were not allowed to. We allowed him to jump on the table, sleep on the cupboard, the dressing table, the little round table in front of the window in the bedroom – all this despite the fact that they each had a special basket to used to sleep in. Everyone admired them and thought it was so cute when they were each sleeping in a basket! It was cute!!

    But Mercury went through different stages until about 6 weeks ago when I realized that something was seriously wrong. We took him to the vet who examined him, injected him and gave antibiotics we had to give for 3 days. He had a fever of 41 when we took him in, but recovered and started eating again and we were all so delighted that I phoned the vet and thanked him.

    But it lasted only for three days, and he lost his appetite again, back to the vet, another injection and then he told us about FIV. We realized that Mercury had been attacked a couple of times by a roaming cat who even came into our home. We never allowed our cats to sleep outside during the night but they were attacked during the day and soon started to rather stay inside. But the damaged was done and we were unaware of this.

    So, within a few weeks, Mercury had to be taken back to the vet every week for 4 weeks. I realized that the injections were of no use and went onto the internet and only discovered, to my astonishment, what my beloved cat went through and that he was already in his 3rd stage.

    He died in my arms on 16 May at 07:43. I need not try to explain. All I can say is, I know.

    Venus is looking for him and missing him probably just as much as us. It is extremely sad to see him like this. We will now keep on playing with him to try to help him get over the loss of his brother.

    Thank you for this space and that I could share MERCURY AND VENUS with you and all other cat lovers. Maybe this will help me when I put a rose on his little grave underneath the cherry tree, not to feel the pain so intensely. I miss him and his loving way so, so much.

    Love you all
    Blessings

  147. Corinna says:

    Dear Laurie,
    thank you for this site, we are really not alone…
    2010 has been devastating for me: I lost the most beloved and most precious creatures in my life: Boogy and Licia.
    Boogy was my baby, although he was already 12 years old and he was Licia’s baby. Licia was 19, and she was my first baby, of course :)
    Boogy died in April 2010 and Licia last Dec 2010…but as you can see, I am writing here now because I still miss them so much and my heart still aches. I not only miss my pets, what they did and the joy they brought to me and my family, I also miss how I was when I was with them. There is no corner of the house that does not belong to them, and it is so hard not to think of them : it’s like they are everywhere. It doe not take the pain away, but many times I find myself smiling, seeing with the eye of my mind ( and heart) the funny things we did together THAT NO ONE CAN DO OR SUBSTITUTE. I still cry a lot, but then I remember how lucky I was to live a happy life with them for respectively 19 and 12 years; I know that my cats were happy and died in the place they loved most: my arms.
    I know one day my heart will tell me to open the doors for another or more cats, because there is still so much love to give…a hug to all people suffering for their cat’s loss. Corinna

  148. Misty... Forever. says:

    I lost Misty in March. I can’t stand the pain. I can’t. I can’t. No matter what anyone says to help, NOTHING DOES. Nothing can help, nothing can change it. I just wish I could see her once more… She died of a stroke, and was like braindead. She was eating and drinking, and going potty, but would like go in a corner and walk and walk and walk. She didn’t know what she was doing, and soon, had two accidents.. Bad ones. We put her down a week after getting her blood test. It killed us to see her like this. She wasn’t right. I miss you misty..

    I CRY EVERY DAY. ALMOST EVERY HOUR I THINK OF YOU.

  149. Dear Debbie, Diane, and Juanita,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your cats. I’ve had my current cat, Nunki, for almost six years (she was my husband’s before we married, and now she’s more mine than his!)….and I often think about how sad I’ll be when she’s gone.

    I’ve loved and lost four other cats in my lifetime, and the pain when your cat dies never goes away.

    I just wrote this article for you:

    Living Without Your Cat? How to Ease the Pain of Pet Death

    I hope it helps, and invite you to share your stories of your cats, if you’d like.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  150. Debbie says:

    My name is Debbie, my husband,Jim, and I just had our 14 year old cat, Kordell, put down last Tuesday. We miss him very much. He had diabetes and dementia, he was acting very strange right before we put him down. He would wander around the house with a glazed look in his eyes. Would like to know how to survive this great loss. Thanks, Debbie Hope

  151. Jason says:

    i have 1 cat and i like to buy anther one!i like dis site coz it helps me a lot

  152. Diane says:

    I had to put my beautiful Bunny to sleep yesterday and my heart is broken. She was only 10 months old and was so sweet and gentle. The vet said they thought she had FIP and it was fatal. She was perfectly normal on Monday but started to look different on Tuesday by just kind of not walking normal. She had extra toes and had a long nail on one so I took her to the vet for it on Wednesday. She was a little quiet on Wednesday at the vet and by Wednesday afternoon she was unable to see. By Thursday she would only walk in a crouch and could not see at all. We started giving her fluids in her skin and helped her eat and went back to the vet who really didn’t know what to do. By Friday we were told to keep giving the fluids and antibiotics and hope for the best. All weekend long we held her and comforted her as best we could. By Monday morning she was falling down when she tried to walk so I took her to a neurologist who said she had FIP and was suffering. I sat and held Bunny for 2 hours trying to make the right decision for her then finally had to let her go. I held her while they gave her the injection then brought her home to be buried. I can’t stop crying and her mom and sister are both looking for her. I just don’t know what to do at this point to ease our pain.

  153. Juanita Wiparata says:

    Kia ora Laurie,
    My name is Juanita. My boyfriend found 2 kittens around March 2010 and we took them as our own.We bottle fed them until they could eat themselves. We Loved them and had them spaded and the works. Anyways when they were fixed, we found out the one I called my own: Fricken had an bladder infection. But it was’nt serious the vet said. So I took her home after 3-4 days in the vet and on a drip. Her sister : Nightmare was so going bananas without her. It was’nt long after Fricken came home. All was well until April 3/4/2011 Fricken was just not herself. I feed them before I went to church and all was good. Later that night I was still at church and my boyfriend txted me and said: Frickens sick, don’t know how long she’s got. I was so deverstated!! Me and my daughter took Fricken to the vet and the only option was to put her to sleep. A week on now and I still call out her name. Do you have any good advice on how I can get over my BABY I like to call her. I have never ever missed anything in my life so badly. Nightmare is still alive and I love her too, but Fricken was mine and Nightmare is my partners.How do I cope with this terrible issue? Nightmare is a complete opposite to Fricken.
    Fricken loved cuddles and kisses and Nightmare hates cuddles and kisses.
    Fricken loved to be lazy and watch t.v.and chasing woolly balls and Nightmare loves bringing Birds and Mice and very active,with an attitude.
    I hope you can help Laurie, your advice will be most appreciated by me and My Family.
    Thank you for listening and you take care and keep doing your thing!!!!
    From the Wiparata and Hika Whanau (families) in New Zealand.

  154. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Juanita,

    I’m sorry to hear about your cat’s death. So sad, especially when another animal is affected. And they are aware of the loss (obviously), and do grieve!

    When I wrote my ebook about pet loss (http://theadventurouswriter.com/petlossgriefsupport/), I asked the veterinarians what to do for the surviving pets. They said to give surviving pets lots of affection and love, and as much attention as possible. Cats heal from the pain of losing their family the same way we do: with the passage of time.

    I don’t know when the best or right time to get another cat is…and you may not know until you bring a new cat home and see how Nightmare reacts! I was in a pet store last month, and the clerk said that whether cats get along has alot to do with their personality traits. Often, females and females don’t get along — but it really depends on who the “alpha” cat is, how old they are, and their personality.

    I’m sorry I don’t have more concrete tips for you…all I know for sure is that extra attention helps cats grieve and makes them feel better (well, I guess I don’t even know that for sure…but that’s what experts seem to think).

    I wish you all the best.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  155. Juanita Wiparata says:

    My cats names areFricken & Nightmare. Fricken passed away 3rd April 2011. Blood disease and puss in her bladder. She is much loved and hard to get over at this point and time. But time will heal us in my family.I am not sure as yet to get another cat, but I am considering it. Due to my other cat is fretting for her sister?
    I don’t know what to do for her. If you have any advice or really good tips that would be really appreciated. To help my other cat Nightmare to get on with her playful self again.

    Thank you Juanita Wiparata.

  156. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Ruth, Sharon, and June,

    I am so sad to hear that you lost your cats. It’s so painful, whether your cat was 9 months or 19 years old! It doesn’t seem to matter how long we loved our cats…the pain of losing them is the same.

    You have my sympathies :-(

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  157. June and Tigger says:

    My heart is broken because my wonderful Tigger is dead. We found Tigger in our garden on September 2010. he was just 6 weeks old. someone had dumped him. Was’nt sure about keeping him for a start but decided we would. Best decision ever. He was wonderful such a beautiful kitten. He would greet me at the door when I came home and sleep on my bed. the kids and I loved him so much even my husband came round to him. he is not a cat lover. On saturday 26th March I let Tigger out and he got run down by a car. the driver came to the door and told me i just ran out to see if he was alive. He was killed instantly. He was only 8 months old. I am in bits my baby has gone and miss him so much. How do I cope with this sadness?

  158. Sharon says:

    I lost my beloved, beloved, beloved cat Julius today. He is and was my heart and I love him with a love I never thought I would ever feel for a cat. He was sixteen and went peacefully at home. We came home to find he had passed away. There was never a more gentle creature alive than my Julius. That cat did not ever ever display any hostile, mean or angry behaviours. I used to call him my big bag of love. He loved me deeply in return and was always near me. I am overcome with grief – was there SOMETHING I could have done to prevent this?! I already know the answer is no, that it was his time and he lived a long, contented cherished life. But still…I wish I had been able to comfort him in my arms and soothe him with my words when he passed. I have another cat, who I love, but she is not my heart like my Julius (aka Jules, buddy-boy and kitten-face). I just want him back, I just want more time to love him. My heart is gone.

  159. Ruth says:

    My beloved cat of 18 years died yesterday, I had to have him put to sleep as he could no longer function. He was a beautiful ginger cat who adopted my family as a kitten. He used to come and see us everyday until we were told by his orginal owners that we could keep him. He was unique. So loving, playful, a bit of a show off when he was younger, he would stretch out on the floor and chase his own tail. In his autumn years he became so he just wanted to be close to me, he would sit on the arm of the sofa next to me, and place his paw on my hand. I love my cat, in life and in death. It is hard because even those closest to me don’t quite understand the heartbreak of losing my beloved companion.

  160. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    George, I’m so sorry to hear that you lost Soot. What a heartbreaking experience.

    I like the idea of having his paw print framed.

    Some animals dig right into our hearts and souls; others we love, but it’s not the same. I don’t know why we have such strong bonds to some cats, but not others…I guess it’s similar to having strong bonds with some people, but not others.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

    P.S. In Letting Go of an Animal You Love, I interviewed pet loss grief experts, veterinarians, and people who really, really struggled after losing their pets. They share dozens of helpful, inspiring, strength-building, and sometimes surprising tips for coping with pet loss – none of which are here on Quips and Tips.

  161. Sara Johasun says:

    good info !. thanks for sharing this inspiring blog.

  162. George says:

    We lost our cat yesterday and we are all so very sad. Our cat was named soot; he was gray with a little white on his paws and neck. Soot was only 3 years old and such a loving cat. Last week soot was breathing heavy so we took him to the vet. The vet took x-rays and found fluid around the lungs, gave soot a shot and some medicine to take home. After almost a week soot did not seem to get any better, he was still breathing heavy but also seemed to be in good spirits. Soot was still purring when we pet him and would lie next to us as he always did but we knew he was not well. We decided to take soot to another vet that only worked on cats. When we got there the vet was concerned and said we need to leave soot for the weekend. They would be putting him in an oxygen chamber, draining the fluid, taking x-rays, and administrating meds. The vet seemed very optimistic about the outcome because soot was so young and strong so I left him there on Friday Jan 14. I called later that day and was told that when they tried to drain the fluid soot became very stressed and that was not good. They put him back in the oxygen chamber and he seemed to feel better after awhile. I received a call at 0810 Saturday morning from the vet, she said soot was not doing well and we should decide what we want them to do. We decided that they should try to give anesthesia and then drain the fluid. The problem with this was that the anesthesia would most likely kill him but it would be just like having him put down. We decided at least that would give soot one last chance so we told the vet our family would be there asap. We live about an hour away and had to get the kids ready, they are ages 8, 8, and 10. The girls wrote letters to read to soot hoping that it might help him and I’m sure it would have. When we got to the vet’s I was pulled aside and told he passed just a few minutes ago. I am a 44 year old man and I cried my eyes out for a long time. My girlfriend then came in and said her good byes as well as leaving soot his favorite mouse toy. Then the kids came in, the girls were sad and crying as they said goodbye and left soot the letters they wrote. What really tore us apart was not getting to the vet in time to say good bye to our beloved soot. I just hope he was not scared.

    We have decided to cremate soot along with his mouse and letters from the girls along with having a paw print framed. We all cried most of the day and as I sit here tonight at work I still have tears from time to time. I am sure we will get another cat some day but for now we will just love the ones we still have and remember all of the great times we had with soot. We have many pictures and memories to remember him by. I just know soot is up in kitty heaven and some day we will all be together once again. We miss you soot. We have 2 other cats and they seemed to know something was wrong and came to us in a sad loving way. I have lost cats before but for some reason this was the most devastating of them all.

  163. my cat rue says:

    my cat rue was living at recycling center and i toke him home. he grow to be a pretty red tiger striped tom cat.
    he was killed by dog next door.i miss him so much
    writing a book of him called my cat rue

  164. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for sharing your stories about your cats — I’m so sorry you lost them, but glad you had the time together.

    I agree that writing about pet loss really helps both dog and cat lovers. Just expressing your love and pain can really help with healing.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  165. Jo says:

    I just feel heartbroken, never felt pain like it. My beloved cat Oscar died suddenly with no warning at home a week ago. He’d not shown any sign of illness…that i was aware of anyway. We had had lots of cuddles on the bed, i went to the bathroom and i heard a thump, then a couple of little whimpers..ran into my bedroom and found him on the floor. The vet reckoned it was his heart. There was just no warning, and it’s unbearable the pain i’m feeling.
    I miss him soooooo much, it’s like my chest has been ripped open.

    Oscar was 13, very shy of others, but very kittenish and cute with me. Never one to sleep on your lap..unless you had a cushion…but he did the cutest thing when i checked on him where he’d look at me and then curl his head under revealing that ultra-soft bit on the side of his face and neck…almost willing me to come and stroke him. He was irresistable.
    Over the past few months he had been sleeping next to me, we’d spoon so that i fell asleep with my hand under his tummy. I can’t tell you how much i’ll miss that.
    He was my baby. I live alone and always have, so now my flat is so empty and i keep thinking it’s him when i hear a noise or see a reflection.

    Although hearing other people’s stories is upsetting, it is comforting sort of to know that i’m not the only one who can’t put away the cat litter or clean out the food bowls.
    I carry around a little photo frame with pictures of both Oscar and his long-lost brother Felix in….and kiss the photos regularly…as well as the images on my phone and on the table by the candles that i have been lighting constantly for the past week. I’ve also been stuffing a little Bagpuss soft toy into my neck and using it as a comfort…and i’m 38yrs old! Embarrassing…but you kinda revert to being a child when you feel loss i guess…the vulnerability is immense.

    For the first 3/4 days it felt like all i did was cry, the doubled-over kind of crying where you just feel broken, and then i found that i was becoming very restless and irritable. My body was so full of tension every evening and the anxiety has just been awful. Most of today has just been spent crying though, perhaps cos it’s been a week now.

    As much as anyone says to me that there was nothing i could’ve done, i still feel guilty. Guilty that i wasn’t in the room when he died, that i couldn’t comfort him in his last moments. Guilty that i was a month late taking him to the vet for his jabs…so i’ll always wonder if they would’ve spotted a heart problem and prevented his passing. The vet reassured me that it absolutely wasn’t my fault..but guilt doesn’t let you belief it.

    I’m very nervous about getting his ashes. I’ve arranged for a little wooden curled-cat casket, and his ashes will be inside. But i’m actually really really nervous about collecting it. I’m worried i won’t be able to let go of it, as in put it down. Maybe it’s just the pain of the reality that i’m scared of. So far i’ve been in a confused shocked state, just not understanding the speed and suddeness of it all…having the ashes is so final and so definite.

    I keep wishing i could hallucinate him, and i so wish i would dream about him, but there’s nothing.

    I’ll miss him head-butting me, his mad 5 minutes before going to the loo! I’ll miss him racing to jump on top of the window frame (3rd flight up) before i get a chance to shut it. I’ll miss his love of boxes and chasing his tail, even in the smallest space. I’ll miss his unbelievably soft furriness, his soft tummy and the little face-licks he’d been giving me of late, little kisses i like to think. I’ll miss him rubbing his face on the side of my glasses, whilst i’m wearing them. It was so amazing to have him so close to me.
    So much i’ll miss………i just hope the pain of losing him won’t prevent me getting another cat in the future. It’s certainly not something i am even considering now…..Osc is irreplaceable….and i’d be very scared of the pain of losing another pet.
    Time will tell.

    The pain is still so raw, and i’m still so confused and scared of how desperately sad i’m feeling. A week is no time really, and perhaps it’ll get worse as it starts to sink in more…that’s a scary thought.

    It’s been cathartic to write about this, thank you for giving me and everyone else the space to express our sadness.

    I felt utterly compelled to collate all the photos and videos of Oscar into one file and i made a little video. I’m not sure how, but i think it helped. It is a a memorial i suppose, a tribute…i can’t watch it without touching the screen..so if anyone would like to see it, here is the link:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcP1MYZiTqg

    Love and heartfelt wishes to everyone XXX

  166. Laura. L says:

    Hi all I lost my beautiful rocco on tuesday he was only 18 months old he had a heart murmur but was a normal healthy cat the vet said that he mite need sum medication when he was older but he was fine that was in july, 2 weeks ago he started breathing really heavy I took him to the vet an she said it seemed as tho he had an lung infection cos he had sum fluid on their so she gave him a jab and sum tablets and she said 2 c how he went. He seemed to hav got betta but the following weekend it all came back an his tummy was swollen so we took him bk 2 the vet she said he needed a heart scan an X-ray bcos it was down 2 his heart an by havein the X-ray the cud determine what medication 2 give him the he wud b ok. Well I droped him off the nxt day first thing and went bk 2 work then I gt the call 2 say that he was very I’ll his heart tummy and lungs where full of fluid and that if she didn’t try an drain it off his heart he wud die in the matter of days but she did tell me that he cud die when they where going the opp and that i sud get down their 2 see him as it mite b the last chance I get, by that poin I was beside my self I cudnt speak i was so upset . Unfortunatly he died when they where workin on him we went 2 c him and he jus looked lik he was asleep it was so hard 2 believe he died that day bcos he was his normal cute happy self and eating his food and goin out b4 this I can’t come 2 terms with his death I loved that little cat soooooo much and my heart is broken I’m so empty inside can stop cryin, I dread comein home cos his not here . Me an my partner keep hearing his bell in the house it’s strange cos we both hear it. I hope this pain goes away cos I’m finding it really hard 2 cope like I’ve lost a child. Thanks for listening guys. Mummy misses u so much rocco I hope ur still here with us love u lots.xxxxxxxx

  167. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cats’ deaths. It’s heartbreaking.

    I wish there was something I could say to make it easier. Mourning pet loss — especially when your cat was SO MUCH a part of your life — is a long process. I don’t think it ever really ends, either. I lost my cats more than 10 years ago, and I’m still sad whenever I think about them.

    It helps me to think their souls have gone to heaven, and they’re happy, healthy, and watching us with love.

  168. Lynsey says:

    I lost my cat suddenly without warning this morning and its been the hardest day off my life alongside watching my grandma pass 5 years ago on new years day. My 16 year old house cat was called Taz but i called him tazy magoos or magoos magoo ( i have daft names for all my pets) He has been crying during the night for sometime but we were told he had feline dementsure so he cried at 4 as he usually does and i normally get up feed him and put the heating on for him. However this time i went into my mothers room to ask if she could get up with him as i had been up all night feeling ill of chest infection..she didn’t get up. He cried again at 6 oclock and was walking around the landing as i went to the bathroom but again i didn’t take him downstairs to feed him and instead told him to shut up and went back to bed. It was then that my dad got up to feed him and I so regret this as my dad would have showed him no love and harsly shoved and shooed him down the stairs. My mam got up not long after and he had been sick and flopped to the ground she picked him up and lay him on the sofer he then let out cry and drew his last breaths. My mam came up to wake me to tell me Taz was dying i rang down to see him eyes wide open looking scared not breathing but hanging on i was hysterical and i was told to go upstairs to look after the dog.

    The pain and guilt for not being there for him is unbearable i was the closet one to him and he’s always been there at every difficult time i have faced in life.

    The strange this is when my man rang my sister to tell her he was on his way she already knew and answered the phone with taz has died mam i know, she had just dreamt it. Her daughter woke up after the phone call and not hearing the conversation, came running in to say she had feeling something was wrong with one of grandmas pets. So i would like to think it was his time to go but it doesnt help with the guilt or that he is no longer here.

    My grandma lived with us and she doted on him he follwed her everywhere and slept in her bed cuddled into her with his head on her pillow like a human. he meant so much to our family and we could all see my grandam in him as daft as that may sound,and now that last bit of her is gone. i can’t walk past the step where he slept without breaking down and i can’t get his dying face from my mind. i feel such guilt and regret that he died thinking he wasn’t loved and it is eating me up i can’t breathe for tears.

    Im sorry for all the detail and lack of grammer but i can barely see and i’m hoping this will help. My heart goes out to you all

  169. Katty says:

    My cat sophie died on may 5th 2010 and today on 1st december my 4month old kitten barney died in a car accident just like sophie in a blink of an eye, he was playing with me, after tht i went to buy grocerys and then as soon as i was coming back home, i saw him lying outside on street :(
    Awful drivers

  170. gayle says:

    My beautiful 2yo cat Sparky was run over out the front of my house this morning. She is normally always at home but this morning decided to follow me walking the kids and the dog to school. It was so quick, I cant believe it has happened. The car didnt even stop. I feel devastated. How do I tell my kids? Should they see her before I bury her. I dont know what to do.

  171. Taylor says:

    I cannot help but feel sadness in that maybe Kismet was lonely without me there since I have been in college for the past 3 years. I wish I could have been there to at least see him one more time and tell him I love him so much and give him one last kiss and hug. My boyfriend said maybe it is better this way so that I can remember the good things about Kismet. I cannot stop running over different scenarios in my head thinking about him. I wish I could wake up and this would be a bad nightmare. I feel lost without this cat I don’t know where to pick up my pieces and move forward…

  172. Taylor says:

    I am away in college and today my mom called me to let me know that my childhood cat passed away. His name was kismet and he was all black with some white spots on his paws chin and nose. He was my best friend during hard times in my childhood and we would sit together on the bed meowing back and forth to each other. (I always thought we could talk to each other). We rescued Kismet in the parking lot of an old Vet Office when we saw his mother dead and he was sitting beside the road just watching cars go by. Kismet was the most amazing pet I have ever had. He knew when my bus would come in the mornings and afternoons and would walk me to the bus stop and be waiting for me to get off in the afternoons to walk me home. Never did he miss one day. He loved to sleep with me and rub he body all over me. He also always knew when I was upset and would always comfort me. We had to move several times due to my parents divorce and he was an outside cat but he NEVER got lost and always knew where his home was. Kismet was around 15 years old and led an amazing life with my family but it kills me to think that we had been best friends forever and I didn’t get to see him out. My mom made the decision to put him to sleep last night after the vet told her he had a large heart murmur and was suffering from renal failure. I am completely stunned with grief and sadness and although I have recently adopted two maine coons of my own I cannot stop crying and missing “my best friend.”

  173. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Denise, I’m so sorry to hear about your cat….I can’t imagine finding my cat on the side of the road :-(

    I just want to say how sorry I am that you lost your cat.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  174. Denise says:

    My partner went for a walk to look for our cat, it was just weird of him to not push our room door open to wake us up this morning. He found our Crunchy a few houses down. He had been hit by a car and someone had kindly lay him under a tree on the side of the road. We don’t have any kids and we always said “who needs a kid when you have a cat like Crunchy?” He had the best personality anyone could have wished for. We lost our baby. That may sound silly for some but i don’t care. He was my baby Crunchy and our whole household will miss him.

  175. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    Thank you all for this wonderful site it has helped me with my pet loss from smokey. I miss her but I am so happy lately I went on a sleepover with one of my girlfriends and we had so much fun! But thanks so much for this website. The first night Smokey died I seriously thought I wouldnt be able to live the next day like literally. But now I decided to get over the pain and tell myself that everyone has a time they have to leave and go to heaven and it was her turn.

    Blessings,
    Heather Wood

  176. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello HeatherandSmokeyFurever,

    I’m glad you have a new kitten, she sounds adorable! She can never replace your beloved Smokey, and you may always feel a hole in your heart because you lost her. But, Midnight Smokey Wood can help you remember the love and fun you had with Smokey, and help you keep Smokey’s memory alive.

    Soon, you won’t be so sad….time will heal the pain of losing your cat….and you will be happy again. You’ll never forget Smokey, but you’ll be happy again.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  177. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    I got a new baby kitten 2 days after Smokey died but she isnt enough to feel the gap Smokey took when she died. The new kittens name is Midnight Smokey Wood. She was the fattest the friendlest and the most energentic out of the litter. She is black like her sisters but she isnt pureblack like the others, she has a little patch of white on her chest.

  178. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    Smokey was 1 yrs old I have had many pets die but she was definitly the worst pain I’ve had. I cry once a night thinking of her and that lasts 10-15 minutes then I fall asleep.

    Heather

  179. Angie says:

    HeatherandSmokeyFurever,

    I’m sorry about Smokey. How old was she?

    I posted above you about losing my cat Shadow. It will be a week ago tomorrow that she died. It hurts a little less every day. I still cry, but not as often.

    How are you doing? You sound as if you are having a rough time.

    I can’t offer much advice. I have never had to deal with a pet dying. Many years ago, when I was in kindergarten, my beagle Susie ran away. But over the years I convinced myself that some nice family had found her and she grew old and died at their house. We had other animals over the years, but my mom had allergies, and I think my parents maybe just didn’t want to deal with pets. Then, during my senior year of high school, we got another beagle: Shelby. But I was a grown woman, living a long way from my hometown when my mom had to have her euthanized because of kidney failure.

    So losing Shadow last Sunday is my first time dealing with the death of a pet. I just want you to know that I understand how sad you are. I wish I could tell you something that would make all of your pain go away.

    I hope you are doing OK.

    Angie

  180. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    But I feel like shes haunting me in a good way just to watch over me when i sleep or whatever I do.

  181. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    by the way I have buried Smokey in the backyard but i feel like she’s haunting me…

  182. HeatherandSmokeyFurever says:

    It was October22,2010 my baby grrl Smokey died. I had gotten off the bus and my parents were on the porch waiting 4 me and mama asked how my day was and i replied good. I knew something was wrong. Daddy said honey your mother has some bad news 4 you. Mama answered Heather Smokey died at 3pm today, I did the best i could but i couldnt save her, she had leukemia cat cancer. She had leukemia then she was so weak that she fell out of the kitchen window daddy took her to mama and mama stayed with her to final breath… I remember how mama wrapped her in a blanket and left her in the kitchen 4 me. I remember how cold she was, how hard her bones were, how soft her fur was, and how she looked. I feel like any minute now im going to wake up and this is all going to be a night mare and my baby kitty is going to be right there waiting for me… I feel so stressed lately my family seems to yelling at me more which is making me even more stressed. I get in trouble at least 1 to 2 times a day… I feel so lonely lately… Everyday seems to be longer I don’t think I can take this much longer please give me some advice… Smokey was my only best friend the only one I could talk to about my problems and now shes even gone…

    Luv,
    Heather and Smokey
    Forever

  183. Angie says:

    My sweet Shadow died about 11:30 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 31–about two weeks short of our being together for 14 years. Shadow was about 14 1/2 years old.

    I adopted her from an animal shelter shortly before my 23rd birthday. She was with me during a long estrangement from my family, a move half-way across the U.S., meeting and marrying my husband, adopting a shelter dog–so many milestones. But no matter what in my life changed, Shadow remained Shadow. She was a sweet-and-sour cat, but more sweet than sour. She was the queen of the house, and everyone–me, my husband, and our dog–knew it.

    About two weeks ago my husband and I took Shadow to the vet for what turned out to be a rash on her belly. On the way home, my husband kept commenting that Shadow was listless. That was a Friday. We took her back to the vet that Monday after noting that she refused food (and TREATS!), did not defecate, and struggled to breath. Her heartbeat was also fast and quite noticeable.

    Shadow was diagnosed with a cardiomyopathy that we later learned was secondary to hyperthyroidism (a T4 of 9.9!). She responded well to medicine for a week, then stopped eating Ton hursday, Oct. 28. My husband I checked her litter box about 10 p.m. Sunday and noticed that she had not urinated. I knew then that we were nearing the end. As I cried and petted her, we discussed calling the vet in the morning to find out when he might be able to come to our home to end her misery. The fact that Shadow did not run away as I sobbed loudly was another sign we were near the end. She HATED to hear me cry! She ran into a sliding glass door once during a crying jag.

    My husband put Shadow on my chest one more time. She then moved onto the bed next to me, and I watched as three times in three minutes her heart heaved, seemed to stop, then beat rapidly again. She jumped off the bed and headed off behind the computer desk–one of her sleeping spots. My husband coaxed her out, and she laid down beside the desk. But she wasn’t peaceful. She flopped from one side to another, then her back legs started to kick the wall. I was just standing up when the “death rattle” started. A later discussion with our vet points to her lungs filling with fluid.

    I picked her up. She was virtually lifeless at this point. I held her to my chest and walked her outside. We sat in a chair, and my husband stood in front of us. She struggled a couple of times and then her bladder relaxed.

    We buried her the next day on a 6-acre piece of land we purchased on the day she was diagnosed. We plan to build what we hope will be our final home on that property, so our final home is her final resting place.

    I am overwhelmed with the rush of emotions I have experienced since this precious life slipped away Sunday night. Our dog, Debby, has been a great comfort. Although she and Shadow never bonded–despite Debby’s desperate attempts to befriend Shadow–Debby knows I am hurting and had allowed me to lean on her.

    I hope that Shadow knows she was loved. I have few pictures of her because I did not own a camera over the years. But I have many, many fond memories. Admittedly, I was an irresponsible pet owner when I first adopted her and made many mistakes. But I improved over the years and hope the lessons I learned will carry over to my dog and any pets I adopt in the future.

    Goodbye my sweet girl. You kept me going during some very dark times. If I ever took you for granted, I am sorry. I will love and miss you until the day I pass from this world.

  184. kymberle says:

    My 4 year old love of my life (Finn) died today,the worst is i don’t know what happen, we went into E/R last night late 11-1-10 he was breathing heavy it looked like he was going to explode,he was put right away in oxygen his mouth was open but i prayed whatever this was he would pull thru, i recieved a call from the Vet at 4:30am saying he seems stable and his blood panal was all great,then at 6:30am i had the call that he was not doing well and i should come in..I rushed in to see him still on oxygen and completely a differen’t cat he was dying right before my eyes,and look like he was suffering as well. To put him to sleep crushed me, especially in my arms and fighting to breath, all i could do is hold him tight and say i am sorry, and ball my eyes out..i have cried for ever, and i think about how well he was in such good humor, laying on his blanket covered up, talking to me in his own language i understood,and opening up the laundry room door letting himself and the others to go the bathroom,the list goes on….i don’t have closure i don’t know why god took him at such a young age my heart is heavy…I look at his pictures when we found him ,under a bush in September- cold, scared weighing 1 lb and away from his momma,how he became so handsome and big, looking like he was from finland with his blonde hair and big gold eyes, and hair that felt like angora.. I can’t stop crying

  185. Nicola says:

    My beautiful, blue-eyed ginger cat, Smirre, has died on Friday night, 29 October 2010 at 20:40.

    He was 6 years old and very dear to me. Since I was married and had a baby, I never again gave him my full attention. I feel extremely bad about this.

    On Friday night, I saw him snarling outside, as if he’s fighting with another cat. I brought him in, thinking nothing of it, and he hid under my baby’s bed, still hissing. I got him out from underneath the bed and then noticed that he was salivating fiercely – his whole head was wet.

    At that moment, I though that he might be poisoned and I rang our emergency vet, telling them that I am on the way. I threw blankets in a washing basket, put Smirre inside and covered the basket with another blanket. At this point Smirre was totally disorientaed and could not stand up any more.

    I was in a state of panic as I raced to the vet’s with Smirre in the basket on the seat next to me. My husband stayed at home with our baby. Never on my way did I imagine that Smirre was dying. My only thought was to get him to the vet where he will be helped and made better.

    Driving to the vet was the worst. I could hear Smirre struggling to breathe and I put my hand on the basket, feeling his heart beating like crazy. Arriving at the vet’s, I jumped out, grabbed the basket and ran inside, shaking. Removing the blanket covering the basket, I saw Smirre lying on his side, eyes wide open, not moving. I shouted and cried to have him looked at immediately.

    Smirre was taken from the basket, laid down on the cold stainless steel slab, his tongue blue and hanging out. The vet told me he has been dead for a while. I knew that was not right, I still felt his heart only 200m from the vet’s… but that was it. He was dead. Nothing could be done.

    I collapsed, crying uncontrollably with everyone looking at me. It was so sudden! Smirre was young and healthy! He was my animal soul mate! DON’T DIE SMIRRE, DON’T DIE!

    I decided to have an autopsy done, as I did not know if Smirre was poisoned. Knowing of what he died, would ease me in a way. On my way back home, the vet phoned – Smirre died of a heart attack.

    It is now Tuesday and I have not stopped crying. Today I have an important meeting to go to and I have loads of work to get through. I don’t feel like eating or sleeping. I am filled with guilt for not being a close friend to Smirre for the last few years. For not stopping the car, getting him out of the basket and holding him while he drew his last breath.

    Let there be a heaven for cats, Dear Lord. The thought of this being the final end for my lovely Smirre, is killing me.

    I miss you, my sweet cat friend Smirre. I see you pouncing shadows and hear your purr constantly.

  186. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Josh,

    I’m sorry you lost your cat. I liked reading your comment, because my cat wakes me up the same way yours did! She bats my face gently, and meows.

    It sounds like you and your cat had a very good relationship — and for such a long time! Wow, 25 years. You’re so lucky you had him for that long. I’m sorry he’s gone now – it must feel like a piece of you is missing.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  187. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Teri,

    I am so sorry to hear about your cat. That’s awful, and so heartbreaking. Nothing compares to the pain of losing a cat — they offer such love and comfort and joy. When we lose them, we are left with a hole in our hearts.

    My cat Petra was seriously injured when I let her outside, and I had to put her down. It was terrible, and even though it happened ten years ago, I feel the pain as if it happened yesterday!

    What consolation can I offer? I have nothing, except thatI know how you feel. But, at least your cat Fuzzy probably felt no pain. He probably went into shock as soon as the dog came around, and it was probably over very very fast. I know this won’t help you miss him less….but at least he didn’t suffer.

    I wrote this article about dealing with guilt after your cat dies:

    Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Cat Dies

    You’re not alone, my friend. Most cat owners feel extreme guilt and sadness when their cat dies…and though time does help, it doesn’t erase all the pain.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  188. josh says:

    i jsut lost my cat savy after 25 years he was a black mut so to speak. i got hem as a stray from a friend when i was 10 or 11 i am 35 now a it was like loosing the best friend i ever had, he servived about 5-6 other pets we had growing up. he was given away to live with other friends and famely members at different times in his life, and was even abandend at one point by one of his care takeres, but ended up back with me. he died in may arms and was the bigest hart brak i ever had to go through. i jsut about three weeks ago got a new cat and was verry lucky to find her. if i can give any advise in getting a pet is not to be concernd with the color or type but let the pet choose you weather it be a dog, cat, bird, or fish or even the low matnence pet rock LOL. the one thing i miss about hem is the way he use to wake me up. he would take his paw and gently bat me on the face a meow untail i got up. if you have ever lost a pet my hart go out to you. to any one with any little story any one would like to tell me about ther pet would help thanks. PS: when asked what was my secret was for having such a long lasting loving pet, i told them i keeped feeding hem and petting hem.

  189. Teri says:

    On Saturday, October 9th, my husband and I were getting ready to go down to visit my mother in law in the hospital. My cat Specky wanted in, and my cat Fuzzy wanted out. Well of course this is normal. They go in and out all of the time. 4 hours later we return home, and a pit bull dog is in my back yard laying there in the dirt next to some large shrubs we have. This is the same pit that was in our back yard several weeks ago. He got in through a small hole in our fence (this dog is a stray and extremely malnourished as we found out.) He ran when I opened my slider. Well I called for Fuzz to come, and she didn’t. This wasn’t like her because she always responded to me and came in. After a few hours I called her again, and nothing. I thought about the dog and how my Fuzzy isn’t around…and hoped that nothing happened…because when I looked for her around my property which isn’t that big…I saw nothing.

    So all weekend we looked for her, posted flyers up around the neighborhood, asked neighbors if they’d seen her. Nothing. The stray pit bull and two other small dogs were in a small field area between our house and the houses behind ours. They were very aggressive and territorial about that area…so we called animal patrol but they couldn’t find those dogs.

    Anyway, tonight I looked and looked and called for her, and happened to look to my right and saw a tail and a leg under the shrub where the dog was laying. I ran and got my husband and said, “I think I see her.” It was her. Thankfully I have my husband to take care of something like this because I don’t know if I could. She was definitely dead and the fur around her neck was matted from obviously being choked. I have visions of this pit with my cat’s neck in his mouth shaking her like a rag doll. I can’t imagine how my cat couldn’t have gotten away from him.

    I feel absolutely awful that I let her outside. She was alone and I was not there to stop it or protect her. She was the most loving, happy, and playful cat. I have had her for eight years, since she was born, and she would sit on my shoulder as a kitten…and curl up and sleep. She loved me sooo much and I loved her. I have lost cats before, and I know that time heals the pain. But no pain is ever quite like losing a pet. My husband is such a great support…but he’s the only one. My friends will not understand. I need support from people who know this pain. I’m devastated and filled with guilt about letting her outside.

  190. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cats’ deaths…it so difficult to accept. Your cats sound so sweet and smart, and as a fellow cat lover, I know how empty life feels without them. I’ve lost two cats I loved so much, and though the pain fades it never really goes away. That’s probably not what you wanted to hear…but it’s the truth. I love and miss my cats so much, even 10 years later!

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  191. Beverly says:

    Today I had to have my cat Nelson euthanized. He was 20 years and 8 months old. He was blind and arthritic and a bony old man, but he enjoyed his life until yesterday, when his kidneys just quit working.

    I adopted Nelson & his brother Wilson when they were just babies. Wilson had kidney failure & was on fluids for a few months before dying at the age of 13. Nelson’s kidneys started giving out awhile back, but he managed to keep going just by drinking plenty.

    Nelson spent his last evening and day in my lap, not moving much but purring softly. I will be eternally grateful for my veterinarian, who came by my house to evaluate him, then put him to sleep.

    He died in my arms, and went easily. I know I did the right thing, the only thing I could do, and that he had a very good life. But I am so incredibly sad, and just can’t stop crying. We know our pets so intimately, every inch of their bodies, every mood, every sound, every movement and quirk and nuance of their spirits.

    Nelson was fearless, curious, brave, outspoken, and, especially in his old age, as sweet as could be. Sometimes he complained a bit, but he never bit or scratched, and didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He always talked to me, he always came to visit, cuddle and purr at least twice a day, slept with me every night, and always brought his face to mine. He was a very good cat.

  192. Cesar says:

    My beatiful and sweet cat Shiva died yesterday. She was 17 years old, and died of kidney infection. She was at the vet for three days, and I hoped i could bring her home today, because she seemed to be getting better, but she wasn’t…
    I look at her favorite places at home and she’s not there. I loved my sweet cat.
    I have this feeling I will meet her again somehow. She was a loving part of my life for so long!
    Sorry, im crying. Thanks for the site.

  193. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    My heart goes out to you for your cat’s death. It’s so hard to let go of a pet, and to mourn your beloved cat’s passing. It’s one of the hardest things in life, and I wish I could say something to make it better.

    I trust and hope you will feel better in time.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  194. Maisie says:

    My amazing cat slate died on sunday night after he was hit by a car. I only found out 2 days later. Slate had a heart murmur which meant he was only going to live for 4-6 years so i was aware he was soon going to pass. But i wasnt ready for him to go after just 3 years! I miss him so much and feel deeply upset as I cant even remember the last time I saw him. I am 13 years old and Slate was my first cat along with his brother Apricot. I cannot imagine how he now feels as he is all alone now. I only found out he died after my mum was putting up posters saying he was missing, when a man approached her saying he’d seen her on sunday night by the road. then she went to the vet and found somebody had turned him in, and he was dead. when i heard i was devistated and i dont know what to do. I wish i could see him but my mum said it was bad.

    I will miss him every day and i keep wishing that he’d come in that night.

    R.I.P Slate. Loved forever

  195. Megan says:

    My 18 year old Siamese cat Shiko had to be put down two days ago and it’s been the worst two days of my life. I miss him so much I feel as though I can barely breath. All I do is cry. The thought of him being gone is overwhelming, but I know we will all see him again oneday in Heaven, at the Rainbow Bridge where is he waiting for all of us.

    Megan

  196. Lee says:

    My cat Jingles was sick and had to be put down at the SPCA Sept. 10/10. He was 7 years old, and one of the bestest friends I have had in my life. I feel an immense loss, and my apartment feels very empty without him here. My sympathies and condolances go out to everyone who has lost their beloved pet cat, and I sincerely hope you all find some solace in knowing that they are all remembered fondly, and will be loved forever.
    I’m sending out prayers to those of you who are mourning a loss as I am feeling the same way too.
    Blessed be.

  197. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Laura and Candace,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your beloved cats. I wish I had the right words to ease your heartache.

    I just want to remind you that you did the best you could at the time. If you had known that your poor cats would have experienced what they did, you would have done things differently! But a lot of the time, we just have no control over what happens — especially when it comes to health. Well, anything, really.

    Feeling guilty is for people who have done wrong or bad things. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you didn’t deliberately hurt your cats.

    You made the best decision you could at the time. Keep telling yourself that, my friends. You didn’t do anything wrong…and though you miss your beloved cat more than you ever thought possible — and you feel like you’ll never stop mourning the loss of the pets you loved so much — it wasn’t your fault. Please don’t forget that.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  198. Candace says:

    Hello, I just lost my cat Sassy after 16 1/2 years. To say I am completely devastated is the biggest understatement I could ever think of. I cannot eat, sleep or do anything but lie in bed. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I miss Sassy so much. She was a cat that was so very affectionate. You could pick her up and hug her so tightly and kiss her hundreds of times and she loved it. I have one other kitty and if I did that to her she would squirm and scratch to get away. Sassy would lie her head on your shoulder and put her arms around your neck and purr and purr. At night I would lie on my side in bed and sassy would come and stretch out along my side and I would wrap my arm around her and hug and kiss her and she again would purr. I have a husband and two daughters, but they really are getting tired of me and my grief. My husband said “Why are you letting this ruin your life and our lives? You need to get over this.”. Needless to say that does not help. I loved my Sassy so much that I feel so lost without her. I try to cheer myself up by realizing I could have lost my husband or one of my daughters or a family member (although Sassy was a family member) or Sassy had a good long life and I should feel so lucky I had her for so long, or I should be thankful she didn’t suffer too long, but all of this just does not seem to comfort me right now. I feel so selfish as other people have suffered greater losses than me. I feel like my heart is broken into a million pieces and I can’t breathe. Thank you for reading and my heart goes out to all of you that are in grief over losing their beloved pet. I wish I could make your pain go away.

  199. Laura says:

    My cat’s name is Gigi. He was diagnosed with hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy and went into congestive heart failure in April (about 5 months ago) He was given a guarded prognosis and wasn’t expected to live for more than 3 to 6 months. I was just so happy to have extra time to enjoy his presence in my life. We both learned to deal with him taking 3 medications every day!
    I adopted him when he was born in the Arctic and he has travelled with me on airplanes to various provinces in Canada. He was my best friend. His name is Gigi because I thought he as a girl when I picked him out of the litter.
    I have snapped so many pictures and dropped anything that I was doing these past months just to soak up as much of his love and attention that he needed or wanted to give. The plan was to wait and if his heart condition worsened and caused him any distress than I would do would I had to for him!! Unfortunately we had a tropical storm hit Nova Scotia today, and Gigi’s fragile heart went into distress and he had trouble breathing. Our power was out, and I couldn’t phone the vet hospital to see if they were staying open, or call a cab. Meanwhile Gigi became progressively worse and began to struggle for every breath. He died a traumatic death here at home, and this is what I am struggling with. I feel like I let him down. I can never erase those images from my memory. The way he died was cruel and just wrong. I blame myself. I loved him so much. It wasn’t supposed to end like that. Rest in Peace now my sweet Gigi. Please forgive me!!!

  200. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you, Andrew and Rebecca, for sharing your memories of your cat.

    It’s SO hard to let go of a cat we loved — I’ll never forget the cats I’ve loved and lost over the years! Even though it broke my heart to lose them, I’m so glad I had the chance to know them.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  201. Rebecca says:

    I lost my beloved cat Mishu on June 16. She was just a couple of months shy of 19 years old and I had had her since she was a kitten. I’m having an extremely difficult time getting over her death and coping. She’s the only pet I’ve ever owned as an adult and we traveled the world together since I teach English abroad. Being single and living in foreign countries away from my parents and siblings meant that she was my only family nearby and now I feel so alone.

    I miss her sooooooo much and can’t believe she’s gone. Seeing the light leave her eyes at the vet is an image I can’t get out of my head and is the only time in my life when I’ve witnessed death. On the one hand I wish I hadn’t seen her die but on the other I know that I wanted to be with her, loving and comforting her to the very end.

    Coming to this website makes me feel a little less alone.

    Thanks for letting me purge a little bit.

  202. Andrew says:

    This week we lost George. He was a stray that happened inot our lives a year ago. We fell deeply in love with this on for whatever the reason. Below is his memory.

    Waiting Patiently

    About July of last year we noticed a scraggy orange and white long hair cat feeding from the cat food we keep out during the day for our own cats. After a day or two he made a regular habit of dining outside our home and disappearing at night. One night we followed him to see where he went and found that he bedded down each night around the corner in the long grass and trees. Each morning he would be waiting patiently at 6:30am outside our front door for the days food to be put out. After a few days we were able to approach him and found that he was skin and bones; had no collar and he was declawed. It was obvious that at one time this cat had been taken care of. Was he let out each day from a loving home? Was he lost, dumped or just left to survive on his own when his owners moved. In case he was let out each day we put a collar on him and attached a note asking the owners to let us know he had a home, no results. We approached the local vets and posted pictures without any results.

    His ritual continued throughout August and September and at this point I have to note that he would look mournfully back down the street with a sad expression in his eyes as if he was expecting someone to come walking up the street to retrieve him. Of course, nobody ever did.

    It was becoming a little strange to call out “here kitty” so we decided he needed a name and for some reason “George” seemed to fit. We all know what that meant. This was a turning point in the relationship. He was no longer a stray, he was George. George was taken to the vet’s and given a health check up that included blood tests and his shots since we had no record of his past life. It turned out George had only ¼ kidney function left, so he was a sick kitty that needed to be cared for. As the temperature at night started to dip George allowed us to pick him up and bring him in for the night, upon which he deposited himself in the upper right hand corner of our bed beside my pillow and slept peacefully each night.

    As the weeks passed he decided that he would walk into “his” home. Over time the mournful looks down the street stopped and the sadness in his eyes was replaced with adoration each time he looked at us. To this day I believe he understood that he had a new lease on life. He became a pampered cat over the winter with his own set of demands. One of which was his own bowl of water on my nightstand. If the water was not “fresh” he would sit and wait patiently to be noticed. Of course, once noticed his water was refreshed. Demanding or not he grew on us more and more each day.

    Unlike the other cats who on occasion requested your attention and seemed to be saying aren’t I adoring, George would always trot over (in an “I’m a cool cat” sort of way) to you and admire his new found owners with adoration each time we arrived home. There was so much love in his eyes, a new spark. He would continue this pattern as spring sprang and he was allowed out each day. No longer would he stray from our yard. His favorite place was in the Hosta garden under our front window or the Lilly garden in the back yard. Each time we arrived home he would greet us and waited outside where he would stare in through the storm door for the small helping of wet food he knew would arrive if he just sat there and waited patiently.

    George definitely was pampered, we knew it and so did he and he never stopped showing us gratitude for what he received. George seemed to lose his appetite at one point and did experience some health problems during the late spring and these were taken care of with a visit to the vet much to his displeasure. Once again he was eating heartily (waiting patiently staring through the front screen door for a small helping of wet food he knew would come) and the spark in his eyes had returned.

    Unfortunately the story does not end well. Last week we noticed George was laying in the Hostas and not coming to the door to wait patiently for some wet food as he had in the past and he no longer greeted us when we returned home. In fact he took to not eating at all and distancing himself from us. He also dropped some weight quickly and as a result a visit to the vet was in order. In a matter of days George’s health had declined and it was discovered that he had developed a substantial heart murmur. Unable to find a specific reason we left the vet with an injection to rehydrate him. Everything hinged on the following day. We did not let George out the next morning, instead keeping an eye on him for an indication of improvement, improvement that did not come. It was only a matter of time before his body started to completely give out on him. This would have caused him extreme pain and anxiety. In our minds we knew that the time had come that every pet owner dreads. In our hearts it was an agonizing decision. George, in that short year had given us so much and we did not want to let him go.

    George was given an injection and peacefully slipped from our world surrounded by the family that he had loved and that loved him. He will be cremated and remain with us, always in our memories. If there is somewhere that we owners and our pets are reunited I know that George has taken up residence at the entrance and will be “waiting patiently” for us to arrive.

    Not every cat that is a stray or is dumped finds a family that gives them as much as we did George and he to us. Some die on the street, some freeze, some are attacked by other animals. Please take care of your pets. If you are no longer able to care for them investigate the possibilities for placement somewhere else. They deserve your respect and love.

    As a final note a young black and white cat showed up at our feeding bowl a month ago. We gave him a collar and sent him home with a note. We posted pictures and checked with the local vets with no luck. Call us fools but his name is now “Blackie”.

    I found this on a post from 2003. It’s probably been around for a while, hwever it helped me some and might help you.

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

  203. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Shirl,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your cat’s death. It must have been such a shock, because he was so young!

    There must have been something wrong with his heart — he just wasn’t meant to grow up and become an adult. Some of our most beloved creatures on earth are taken before they have a chance to live a long, full life…and your cat was one of them.

    I think you can be happy when your cat dies by NOT focusing on the pain, sadness, and grief you feel. It’s important to mourn, but it’s equally important to remember your cat with love, peace, and joy. I don’t know how long you’re supposed to mourn for — it depends on your personality!

    So, it’s okay to be sad that your poor cat is gone…and then it’ll be time to honor your cat’s life by remembering him with warm thoughts and love. After all, his life was about love and happiness and playtime :-) not sadness and grief.

    I hope this helps, and I’m sorry you don’t have a good picture of him. Maybe you can get a pet memorial stone or use one of his pet toys as a symbol of him, and of your love for him?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  204. shirl says:

    i woke up one morning to find my kitty dead. He was in the basement and lying on her back and i have gone over and over in my mind what may have happened. I took him in when he was about ten months old and do not know where he was living but it was in the middle of winter and he was outside crying. I gave him a home and loved him with all of my heart. He was only a year and a half. I am sick over this and that he had a whole life ahead and it is so unfair. He was beautiful, affectionate, funny, just complete love. I have so much guilt because I did not go looking for him the night before and maybe I could have saved him. He was hard to keep in the house because he loved the outdoors and that is where I found him. I am not sure if he went out that day or night. I am having strange feelings. Everywhere reminds me of him. I imagine him walking in the room and then think how i will never see him or hold him or kiss him. Then I get feelings that I was so lucky to have had him and cannot imagine that I was so lucky to have had him. I am afraid of forgetting him. I only had him for seven months but he was my baby. I have no pictures of him because they did not turn out well being that he was completely black. I was planning of getting his pic for a frame and now I have nothing. I love him and always will but I do not know how to cope. How can you be happy knowing he is dead and should be playing and getting love?

  205. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Christine,

    I know there’s nothing I can say or do to make your pain go away, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry that your cat died.

    It’s such an awful thing to go through….I can’t imagine life without my cat. I’ve loved and lost several cats over the years, and the pain of pet loss doesn’t seem to fade! Our cats are our companions, our source of affection and love and laughter and connection. They’re such beautiful animals.

    I’m probably not making things better by talking about how great cats are! But I just want you to know you’re not alone. I hope that when you’re ready, you are able to love another cat.

    You’ll never forget Mr W, but you’ll remember him with less pain one day.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  206. Christine says:

    My cat died today. Yesterday he seemed fine, then this morning around 7am I popped into the garden to drink my tea. I came back into the house and heard this strange cat yoddle. It sounded like Mr W. It’s the sort of noise he makes when a strange cat is on his turf.

    I went back into the garden to shoo which ever cat was bothering my boy and saw nothing. Then I heard another yoddle and looked down and saw Mr W laying under the barbecue. I wondered what he was doing and knelt down to give him a stroke, but he barely moved. When I picked him up I could tell something was not right. He was really floppy and his front paws we all wet where he had been dribbling on them.

    I carried him into the house and laid him on my bed. He started purring, as he always did, but I could tell he was very poorly. I found an emergency number for my local vets and gave them a call and was told to bring him along at 8am.

    The vet said he did not know what was wrong. His temperature was very low and he was anaemic so I left him there while I dashed of to university. I really thought he would be ok.

    The vets rang me about 12 and said they still had no idea what was wrong with him. He had been X rayed, was on a drip and had been given some drugs and they wanted permission to send some blood samples off to the lab. They also suggested I come over around 3am and bring some of his favourite food, as they could not get him to eat. She did say he that he had perked up a bit, but was still very ill. The ‘perked up’ comment made me feel very positive and still I really thought they would find out what was wrong and he would be ok.

    I cooked him his favourite meal, some cod, and at 3pm called the vets. I was so excited about going to see him. I knew he would be scared, he never liked going to the vets. It was then they told me he had just passed away. I went to see him and spent ages cuddling him and stroking him. He was still warm and he looked and felt like he was alive. I kept expecting him to wake up and give me a face rub. I can’t believe he is dead.

    I just arrived back home, after spending some time with my mum. I have 2 other cats but Mr W the first cat I ever had. He bought so much love and joy into my life. I love my other cats, but Mr W was so dear to me. It was like we had this special bond. He almost loved me too much in some ways, sometimes he could be very needy, but I loved him for that. I’m not marrie and don’t have or want children, so he was my baby. He got me through a difficult time in my life and right now I can not imagine life without him.

    My flat seems so cold and empty and I don’t really want to be here right now. I just wish I had seen him one more time before he passed away, just to say a proper good bye. I feel like he died alone, in a strange place, with strange people and without his mum by his side. I know in time the pain will lesson but right now I would do anything to have him back.

  207. Telly says:

    Susie, just read your post about you losing your 16 year old cat. You said you felt like you’ll never be happy again! I feel the exact same way!
    Gosh, losing a sweet cat that’s been around for a good part of your life is SO difficult. She’s been with me for 1/3 of my life! How does one COPE with that loss?
    they are certainly like a part of your family but even better in a way, for they are ALWAYS there to comfort you, don’t judge you, love you no matter what!
    I love pets with all my heart! They are alot of work, but so worth it! But the sad part is people downplay you losing a pet, especially a cat!

    But a good cat is like Gold! That’s how my cat was, she had a heart of gold, and was so little trouble.. She was such a GOOD cat! i’ll miss her forever! :(

  208. Telly says:

    I just lost my beloved cat of 15 years July 15th. She was everything to me.. Funny, when we first got her, our dog was dying of cancer and when we came home she went and laid on his shaved stomach (he’d been having lots of tests done to him) as if to say, “let’s be friends”.
    I think I’ve still got the photo, thank god.

    Then about a month later I got another dog.. a lab mix and immediately as soon as I brought him into the room, she pounced on him, in a friendly way, as if to say, “wow, you got me another dog to play with!”
    Pele was great.. I’m just in a trance now.. sort of not really believing she’s dead, but knowing she is! I saw her die at the vet’s.. that’s ANOTHER issue, I do NOT think they really did MUCH to save her, honestly!
    Wednesday, when I left for work, she was doing fine. She was basically an inside kitty, as she didn’t have much street sense, but had already been outside in the morning… watching the birds, and just having a nice time for herself.
    Then she was also laying on the back porch. We just got it recovered with cement, as it was crackly badly. I wonder if she licked the cement and it was toxic? It was only about a week ago that the porch was fixed and there’s no outside water so we cannot easily wash it off.
    Well, I petted her and stroked her fur, and as usual she starts purring her head off! She loves to be petted… That’s one thing I really loved about her, she even licked your face after you petted and kissed her!
    Pele is such a cool cat! I named her after the volcano goddess as she looked like a little lava flow when she was a kitten..All black and orange…. a tortoiseshell/calico mix.. she DID have a bit of white on her, but the cutest little pansy face as her chin was tan colored and she had orange stripes on one side of her face and the other half was real dark! A sort of harlequin faced cat..

    Yeah, even the vet who was treating my dog for cancer thought she was a really cute kitten.. He’s the one who said her face looked like a pansy.
    BIG yellow eyes! well… she was not eating so great a few weeks ago… but recently we fought this good cat food, by Paul Newman, that she LOVED! She was eating a can a day at least, and wouldnt’ even wait for me to take it out of the can! She was eating it right FROM the can!
    I thought.. oh, good her appetite is improving.. But she was throwing up almost every day.. for the past several weeks and I wasn’t sure why.
    we’re not in good condition money wise and I didnt’ really have the money to take her to the vet, sadly enough. It’s the bloody worst economy in years, and this town, they won’t give you a job if you’re not in your 20s here…. They just cater to all the hipster, new agey types and the regular people can go pound sand! Literally! they don’t care..
    In fact, the last time my dog was dying, this was the same dog that Pele pounced on, I brought the dog in, and when I came back, after he died, they had put a big DNR (do not rescucitate) sign in HUGE RED LETTERS under my dog’s name! I never wanted my dog to die!

    I wanted them to save him, and this is PART of what really disturbs me about my cat’s death.. I had to take her to the emergency vets but they don’t keep the animals after 8 am on weekdays, you have to bring them to your regular vet’s no matter who serious they are doing!
    I was told my cat was in critical condition, but they had her on oxygen, and when I went in to look at her, she didn’t seem like she was doing that bad… The vet did say she didn’t do so good during the night when they tried to get her out of the oxygen tent, I think, I cannot remember, I’ll have to ask him….
    well, they had her off oxygen for at least a half hour before I took her away from the emergency vet place and another half hour to get her to my regular vet! I brought her in and vet insisted he was going to stick a tube up her nose to give her oxygen.. That seems drastic and painful to me..
    I left her there and was called about 20-30 minutes later and the vet telling me that she didn’t look like she was going to make it, that she’d had a seizure.
    I wonder if sticking that tube up her nose caused the seizure?? I know her temperature had gotten better. It was up to 98 from 94, but I just wonder what kind of care they actually GAVE my cat!
    When I returned she was still alive, but not doing too good, her breathing was shallow, her paws were twitching sometimes, and they put this little cup for oxygen over her head, though the vet tech didnt’ seem to care if it had a tight fit on it.. which makes me wonder if she was getting oxygen that good at all?
    Well, she died right in front of me!
    I saw her eyes go blank.. what an AWFUL MOMENT! And just stood there petting her.. Her fur is SO soft, I couldn’t help myself.

    The other vet, the one I USUALLY use, came over and starting petting Pele too. I like him, he’s always been nice to us.. Maybe he’s not the best vet in the world, but I like the way he treats me & my pets.

    The other vet.. he runs the place, and the first time I met him, I didn’t like him! I wonder if that was a red flag to me in the future..
    well, now I’m wondering what to do with her body. We only rent, and not sure we’ll be here much longer.

    That’s my problem now! I did bury 2 of my pets in another pet cemetary but not sure if it’s even in existence still! well, I could cremate her, but I don’t want her burned really!
    The reason, the ONLY reason I just went ahead and cremated my dog last time was it was in the dead of winter, and it was too cold to bury a hole for him!
    What should I do? Go ahead and get her buried in a pet cemetary SOMEWHERE!
    I feel just having her body hanging around not being able to give her a proper burial is also DESTROYING me!
    It’s bad enough she’s not here to play with, to pet, to kiss and hug..
    The new puppy, he’s not even a year yet, seems antsy, but doesn’t seem depressed like me. The puppy doesn’t seem in the best spirits in a way either, and seems frustrated in a way.. he’s barking alot, getting into mischief more so than often…
    He was with her, obviously when she was getting really sick. I came home Wednesday and she was vommitting this weird white thick stuff, and was staggering around the house! She collapsed almost in the kitchen and then I KNEW i had to get her medical help!

    I’m just thinking, “DAMN, I only wish I had stayed home on Wednesday!” I had this weird feeling that I should have…. but then I needed money and I didn’t!”
    Now it’s cost me over a thousand dollars to try save her life, and she’s GONE! Yeah, that’s how much the ER for the animals costs here! I think it’s a ripoff, for if you went to the regular vet clinic in TN, they probably would take a WEEK to charge you that, not just 6 hours! And they wouldn’t insist you come take away your pet who was on oxygen and in critical condition to some OTHER vet, (who honestly didn’t even seem to WANT to try save her, he said, “well, let’s just let her pass away” when she was still alive and I came back to the vet’s office, after they said she was doing badly. I literally had to insist that he TRY to save my cat’s life! What kind of F**king vet is this anyways?
    I had told him I just spent over $1000 trying to save her! And she wasn’t in critical condition at ALL the day that she got sick! She was going fine!
    I’m just wondering what the he** happened to my cat? I wonder if someone put poison out for her, or she got into something toxic, or WHAT?
    None of this makes any sense at all!
    I’m so distraught.. She was my BEST friend in the world! I cannot tell you all the difficult things I’ve been through in my life in the last 15 years and that cat was ALWAYS around for me!
    God.. I don’t even think I’ll EVER find another cat like her, she was that special! Everyone loved her too!
    I’d bring her to the kennel in the years before if I had to go away, and I’d come back and all the kennel staff would tell me how much they enjoyed taking care of her, cuz she was so friendly and sweet!
    The dog was kissing her too, in sort of weird way, when I came home on Wednesday and discovered her sick! Like he KNEW somethign was really wrong.. he seemed upset too….. I wish I get the dog to “tell me” what happened.. but of course, that’s not possible…
    I wonder how the dog feels about all this? He seems sort of normal about this but they got along great! She’d hang out wiht him in this room, cuz he was always eating things he wasn’t supposed to, and she had the whole RUN of the house. Sometimes I’d find them sleeping together on the same little dog pad I bought for the puppy! She’d sometimes lick him, but he loved her!
    I dont’ know either, how to go about geting another kitty! My dog likes to chase the kitty but her being older, only took so much flack! HA HA HA.. If he gave her a bad time, she’s strike back and claw at him.. not in a menancing way, but sort of to say, “hey, chill out… don’t bother me!”
    They never got into a fight or bit each other or anything.. i’m thinking though, if I DO get another cat, I need to do so SOON! otherwise the dog is going to forget how to deal with a cat. His dog family NEVER had any cats at all, but with Pele, he soon learned how to get along with a cat, cuz she was a cool one!

  209. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Becky,

    I’m sorry to hear about your cat. I hope you know you made the right decision — many pet owners wait until their cat is literally on her last legs before making the decision to say good-bye!

    Even so, I know how hard it is. I’m so sorry for you.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  210. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Natalie,

    I’m so sorry to hear about how your cat died. That’s so sad, for both you and your cat’s brother. Animals definitely feel the pain of loss and confusion.

    Yes, I think it’s okay to get another cat! Not to replace Billie, as you said, but to fill the hole in your heart and home. But know that some pet owners who get a cat or dog soon after their pet dies feel differently after their new pet arrives. Sometimes they feel worse, because their new cat or dog doesn’t fit into the way their old cat or dog was. I don’t think this is a reason not to get a new cat right away — it’s just something to be aware of.

    I’ve written two articles about coping with guilty feelings when your pet dies. Here’s one of them; it will lead you to the second article:

    Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Cat Dies

    You didn’t do anything wrong, Natalie! If you knew it was Billie who got hit, you would’ve been out there in a flash. If you knew it was going to happen, you would never have let him out.

    Read the article about coping with pet death and guilty feelings — it sums up everything I could hope to say here.

    I hope the article helps, and know that my heart is breaking with yours.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  211. Becky says:

    Thanks for having this website; it helps to read these stories. I just took my 15-year-old cat to the vet this morning and he was put to sleep. I’ve been crying on and off all afternoon today and the past few days have been really painful. The hardest part was making this decision responsibly: he was still functionally healthy, but I could see that his health was starting to decline and I knew in my heart that he wouldn’t deal well with my upcoming move across the country. I have to compliment the vet’s office for being so tactful and making it a smooth process. That was a big help to me and made me feel good that I had decided to be there for those last moments.
    Reading your comments really helps.

  212. Natalie says:

    I just wonderd if anyone can help me?
    I lost my cat on friday, he wasnt even a year old. I remember taking the washing outside to dry and heard a car slamming on his breaks at the front of my house.. something in the back of my head told me to go see what it was, maybe it was one of my cats and i should help them.. but something held me back, as im usually paranoid, i thought no, everything will be fine so i left it and went inside. I looked outside the window and saw nothing. Later on i saw a girl walk past the house and stop and stare at something on the pavement. I think i knew what it was, but in my head i just told myself its nothing.
    After i finished work later at night, my mum picked me up, i randomly asked her how was billie.. she said hes not ok.. i suddenly thought he had died and asked.. she said yes.
    It turned out that my cat had been hit in the head by the car speeding, at least he stopped i suppose, but it angers me that he was speeding in the first place. One of the neighbors picked him up and put him on the pavement away from the road and put a tea towel over him.
    The first thing i felt was guilt, if i had gone to the front of the house to see what had happend, i might of been able to save him. My mum told me it would of been a fast death as the car hit his head.
    His younger brother makes me cry everytime i see him, i dont think he understands what has happend to his brother, he keeps meowing looking around the house for him and watching out of the window. It breaks my heart to see this.
    I think the most painful thing about it all is that the week before billie had been in pain, he had his collar stuck around his jaw and made himself bleed, he was crying for me to help him leaving bloody paw prints all around the house. When he found me i thought he had broken his jaw, to this day i dont understand where the blood came from, but he was alright after i freed him from his collar by cutting it away.
    Its a horrible feeling right now, i just feel mixed emotions of guilt, anger and sadness. And nobody seems to understand how upsetting it is, i know most people think when i tell them that its “just” a cat. But he wasnt to me, he was my angel.
    I want my mum to get another cat, not to replace billie, but i feel it helps me get over the grief, i know i have to consider his brother though, do you think its okay to get another cat? And can you tell me how to get over the guilt =[

  213. Alois says:

    Brownie went to a better place today,she was 11 yrs old and the joy of our life.She had feline lymphoma which is a bone marrow cancer with no cure,she also had kidney failure.She was a trooper to the end and I held her while she was put to sleep.I know there is a rainbow bridge out there, where all good pets go to rest, because God loves all his creatures.I shall miss her terribly, more so because she was my girlfriends best friend, and her pain only makes mine worse.A better companion never roamed this earth.Fare thee well our friend,our angel,our baby, we shall meet again. We will find you always and forever in your true home,our hearts.Godspeed.

  214. susie norris says:

    My heart so goes out to all of you who have just lost cats, especially to you, Linda S. I came on here tonight wishing to talk with people who could understand. Two weeks ago my baby Phineas died in my arms. I had him sixteen years. He was so gentle and sweet. Like yours, Linda my heart is shattered. I feel like I’ll never be happy again. Wish I could talk with you and we could help each other. Susie Norris

  215. Stacey says:

    Hi, well it’s been exactly 1 month today that I lost my baby girl of 12 years. Her names Lilian Honey but I always called her “LilHon” or ” Lil” for short. I noticed you wasn’t wanting to eat much and when I’d bring her, her favorite wet food in bed I could tell she was just nibbling a bit to make mommy happy. A couple days later I was beyond worried and would be taking her to the vet asap but I didn’t get the chance. It was 8:30 am and I woke up to her making the most horrible frightening and painfill howling cry. I jumped out of bed telling her to ” hold on baby, i’m calling the vet to tell them we are coming”. She gave another smaller cry or two and then was too quiet. I bent down to her where she was cuddled up on some of my clothes (she liked to sleep on anything mine). She was too still, I lifted her head and I knew my world had just ended. I started screaming at the top of my lungs and husband still not fully awake came rushing over to me. I just pointed to her crying asking ” is she?!!” He said “yeah, she’s gone…..”. I then broke down as I never ever have before. After I was exausted from crying to hard I had my husband place her on the bed for me so I could hold her for awhile once more. I told her how much I loved her and how she’s my world. I asked her to forgive me. My husband keeps telling me how there’s nothing I could do, she was old and was not in the best of shape either. I still can’t help wondering if there was anything I couldn’t have done. I know it doesn’t matter now but still.
    What I can’t decide on is how what to do with her earthly vessel. You know her body if you will. The day she died I told my husband I couldn’t bear to but her in the ground to be destroyed by bug or however that happens. And I can’t fathom them burning her to ashes either. So we decided to call a local taxidermist. It’s not the same the way they do it now. They used to only use the animals skin. Now it’s more closer to mummifacation. They remove things inside. But they still use the bones. I know it may sound awful to some. I feel the same about the ground. I know her spirit has long left her body but well that’s all that’s left. It’s the vessel she used to comfort me, purr, play, eat, sleep and so on. So I want to take to best care of what is left behind as I can. The thing is I’m not sure if it’s what I should do. I’m afraid that it won’t still feel like it’s her even alittle bit. I know it’s not going to come close. I just don’t want it making me feel worse or want to cry even more like looking at her pictures still makes me do. I’m worried that when I get her back after the process is complete in a year that I’ll wish I had just had her creamated and but in a lovely urn if I’m just going to want to place her in a safe box. Also perhaps it’s because I adopted another sweetheart to love. My husband couldn’t take how broken up I was and thought if another cat would help we better find one I’m drawn too( and vice versa, the cat too) right away. To some it may sound to soon, and I did struggle with what Lil would have wanted or thought. I hoped I wasn’t betraying her in anyway. My husband said he believed she would want me to save a cat and love it rather than not. Also that she wouldn’t want her mommy to suffer anymore than I had to and if another buddle of joy help she would understand. It’s weird. Lil died on 4/14/10 and I got Cordy 3 days later on the 17th. I still don’t know how it could have been ONLY 3 days!!! It felt like months really. Has to be because of the pain. Every minute without her felt like an hour, or long even. What I need to decide now is if I should have the taxedermist do what needs to be done and hope I’m ok with the result, or if I should have her cremated. I keep thinking of the phrase I’ve heard ” Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”. I can still make sure when I die they put her in with me even if it’s an urn. Well so far this is my story. Sorry if it has way to many details. Perhaps just getting it out there will help. So thanks. REST IN PIECE FOREVER MY LILHON!

  216. kristin simpson says:

    Just about an hour or two ago,my brother was really sad and only my dad knew what was going on.my brother said that he wishes he could tell us,but i didnt think much about it.me and my dad and my sister went out for a slushie and my sister asked my dad what was wrong with my brother nathan.my dad wouldnt say what until we got to the edge of the bridge.then he told us.our cat had died.me and my sister immediatly started to cry.my dad asked us if we wanted to see her and we said yes so he took us to our house.i walked in crying and my sisters best friend was home and she hugged me.i told her what happened and she said she already knew and that she cryed her eyes out.this was coming fom a 14 year old.i was so sad i couldnt catch my breath.i was screamin and crying and whaling and my dog was just sitting there wagging his tail.we all went into the backyard-my sisters-courtney and kayla my dad and my sisters best friend morgan.my dad started to unwrap the body when kayla said i dont wasnt to see and started to cry even harder as he unwrapped her.we stood there all of us just looking at the body and thinking about the memories we had with belle.morgan said that she had pictures of her and i said i did too.i had some of morgan and belle and some of me and belle.i wanted to pick up belle and hug her but my dad said we couldnt.he said we could pet her back,but not pick her up.he told us that she got ran over by a car and how it barely nicked her in the head and how she felt nothing and how she was just resting now.we went home and i remembered how belle was what we used to call a ‘miracle cat’.it was because my mom didnt choose her,but she chose my mom.she was half dead and barely breathin when we got her.she went to the vet and the vet had to stay with her all night.the day after,the vet gave us the news:she lived!we were so happy.it had costed us thousands and thousands of dollars.she lived until a couple of years later,until today,she got hit by a car.she was the prettiest cat you will ever see or have ever seen.i went to this website for help and read the stories but i gotta say-thanks laurie.you gave me words of encouragement and i am happy.i think of the times me and belle had instead of her death.and my last words to the pretty cat were-bye belle i love you-and i meant it with all of my heart.

  217. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Linda,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your cats…that’s so sad, especially around your birthday — and especially within such a short time of one another! Maybe one would have been too lonely and sad without the other, so they had to go together.

    Many people don’t understand how difficult it is when your cat dies…I’ve lost several cats throughout the years, and I’m still surprised at how sad I am! Even 10 years later, I miss my old cats and wish they were still here.

    So, I’m sorry to say, there are no easy pet loss tips….it just takes time to heal.

    I encourage you to find people who understand the pain of losing a cat or other pet. Don’t keep talking about it to your family and friends who don’t understand about pet loss…because they just don’t get it. And, it adds frustration to your pain if you try to explain how much it hurts!

    Also, remember that everyone grieves in different ways. You need to find YOUR way of mourning your cats’ deaths. That could be a small on-line or “real” pet memorial. It could be a collage of pictures of your cats, hung somewhere you see it often. It could be writing in your journal everynight while you cry. It could be reading forums like this, about mourning pet loss.

    You WILL heal and you WILL be happy again, my friend….it’s just that your heart is broken right now. One day, you’ll be ready to love another cat or two — and those cats will be so happy that you found them!

    It may also help to picture your cats in kitty heaven…happy and safe and watching you with fondness, remembering their wonderful life with you.

    Please come back anytime, and let me know how you’re doing. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  218. LINDA SAFARIK says:

    HELLO TO EVERYONE,
    I AM HAVING A VERY HARD TIME DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF MY TWO BELOVED CATS, TAILS & REXIE. THEY WERE BROTHER AND SISTER. I HAD WELCOMED THEM INTO MY HOME ON JUNE 1ST,1996. THEY WERE A YEAR OLD WHEN I GOT THEM. I WILL NOT GO INTO DETAILS ON HOW I GOTTHEM BUT I WILL TELL YOU THAT THEY WERE BOTH WELCOMED INTO MY SON,S AND MY HOME WITH OPENED ARMS. I LOVED THEM FROM THE FIRST DAY!!! TAILS WAS THE MALE. ONE DAY BACK IN APRIL HE JUST STOPPED EATING. I HAD THE VET COME OVER RIGHT AWAY. WE HAD TRIED EVERYTHING TO GET HIM TO START EATING AGAIN. NOTHING SEEMED TO WORK. AS IT TURNS OUT HE HAD CANCER IN HIS LUNGS. HE HAD GONE FROM 14LBS TO 6LBS IN A VERY SHORT TIME. MY VET BILLS WERE IN THE THOUSANDS, BUT I DID NOT CARE. ON AUGUST 8TH 2009 I KNEW WHEN THE VET CAME THAT DAY THAT IT WAS TIME TO SAY GOODBYE. I CRIED FOR HOURS BEFORE I COULD SIGN THE PAPERS. I DID NOT WANT TO BELIEVE THAT THIS WAS IT. I SAW IN HIS EYES THE LOOK OF LOVE AND SAID TO ME, HOLD ME AND SAY GOODBYE. I DID AND I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING SO. HIS SISTER REXIE LOOKED EVERYDAY FOR HIM. SHE DID NOT UNDERSTAND THAT HE WAS NOW IN KITTY HEAVEN. TO BE HONEST, NEITHER COULD I. I CRIED EVERYDAY. IT HURTS SO BAD. HAVING TO DEAL WITH TAILS LOSS I STILL HAD REXIE TO TAKE CARE. SHE WAS DIAGONISED WITH DIABETES IN JAN. OF 2007. I HAD TO GIVE HER INSULIN SHOTS TWICE A DAY. THE VET WAS HERE TO CHECK HER EVERY 3 MONTHS FOR 3 YEARS STRAIGHT. SHE WAS DOING GOOD. ON FEB 4TH 2010 SHE JUST STOPPED EATING. IT WAS ALSO MY BIRTHDAY!!. THE VET CAME AND CHECKED HER. GAVE HER FLUIDS AND OTHER MEDS. NOTHING HELPED!!!!! ON MONDAY FEB 8TH I TOOK REXIE TO VETS TO GET X-RAYS AND MORE BLOOD TESTS. AS IT TURNED OUT SHE TOO HAD THE LUNG CANCER. I COULD NOT LET HER SUFFER ANYMORE SO I HAD TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO HER ALSO. IT WAS EXACTLY 6 MONTHS APART THAT I LOST BOTH OF THEM. WHY WAS GOD SO CRUEL TO ME? I WILL NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND WHY HE TOOK BOTH OF MY CHILDREN AWAY FROM IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME. HOW DO I DEAL WITH THEIR LOSS? I DO NOT REALLY HAVE ANYBODY THAT I CAN TALK TO ABOUT THIS. EVERYONE SAYS THAT I SHOULD GET MORE CATS. I DO NOT THINK THAT I CAN DO THAT AT THIS TIME. TAILS AND REXIE WERE THE FIRST PETS THAT I EVER OWNED. I FEEL LIKE THAT I WAS CHEATING ON THEM IF I LET ANOTHER CAT OR CATS IN MY HOUSE. MY HEART IS BROKEN IN A THOUSAND PIECES RIGHT NOW. I WISH I HAD SOMEONE TO TALK TO THIS ABOUT. MY FAMILY THINKS THAT I AM CRAZY FOR HURTING ABOUT 2 CATS. I TRULY DO NOT THINK THAT THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT I FEEL. IF THERE IS ANYONE THAT CAN HELP ME I WOULD REALLY APPRIECIATE IT.
    THANK YOU,
    LINDA SAFARIK

  219. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Ohhh….Dianne, I am SO sorry for you and Bert Bert. That’s terrible. I know how you feel — my poor cat Petra got her leg crushed when I let her out of the house, it was all bloody and broken, and the vet had to put her to sleep. It was crushing. I am so sorry you found Bert Bert in the bushes outside. That’s heartbreaking.

    But you couldn’t have known that it was Bert Bert outside! He escaped by accident…it wasn’t your fault. You know — and Bert Bert knew, too — that you would have saved him in a heartbeat if you’d known it was him. You can’t hold yourself responsible for something you didn’t do on purpose. You have to accept that it was an accident…and maybe it was Bert Bert’s time to go.

    He was so lucky to have you take care of him for the past six years…I know he loved and was so grateful for you. You saved his life when you rescued him, and you gave him six wonderful years of love.

    I wrote a couple of articles about dealing with guilty feelings when your pet dies — here’s the link to one:

    Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Cat Dies

    I hope the article helps, and that you can forgive yourself. You’ll always grieve his loss….but please don’t beat yourself up about it. It was an ACCIDENT — you never would have let this happen if you could see into the future!

    Please forgive yourself, and know that Bert Bert doesn’t blame you. He’s happily resting in kitty heaven now, and is watching you and his sisters with love and peace.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  220. Dianne says:

    I lost my best friend this week. Bert Bert was an indoor cat that I rescued from a dumpster 6 years ago. Tuesday night he pushed the screen out of the window, which I never noticed. I am having a hard time with this, because I heard a cat fight at 3:30 a.m. and got up to check (I have 3 other cats, one is his sister). I looked out the front door and saw 2 dogs, which took off. I looked at the cat sitting there, thought he kinda looked like Bert, but his fur was too long and afterall, what would Bert be doing outside? Then shut the light off and went back to bed. I did not notice that the dogs had attacked him. Despite that voice in my head telling me something wasn’t right. I awoke at 6 a.m., and realized my Bert Bert was not around. Realizing that it was him earlier, I went outside get him, only to find him lying dead in the front bushes. I loved this cat more than anything else in my life, how can I ever forgive myself? I keep thinking about what must have gone thru his mind when I turned the light on at 3:30? Did he think I was coming to save him? Only to be ignored and left to die alone out in the cold? Help me.

  221. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Bernadette,

    How are you? It’s been a few days since you lost your cat Jack…and I hope you’re feeling a bit better.

    I don’t know how long your guilt stage of grieving will last….I still feel guilty about having to put my cat Petra down after she somehow shattered her hind leg. It was so traumatic, and after ten years I still feel bad. :-( Sometimes we just learn to live with guilt, I guess.

    Petra was a nervous stray, just like Jack! There is a different, special bond that’s created when you love a cat who isn’t immediately affectionate or trusting. There’s a sense of protectiveness there, which magnifies feelings of guilt when things go wrong.

    Have you read my article about coping with guilty feelings after you lose a pet? Here’s the link:

    4 Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After Your Dog or Cat Dies

    I hope it helps, and encourage you to drop in and let me know how you’re doing!

    Take care,
    Laurie

  222. Bernadette says:

    Two weeks ago I lost my long time cat friend Jack. Jack and I have been together for 11 years. He found me when he was a kitten. He was a stray and very nervous. He adopted me and allowed me to become part of his life. I hope he knew at the time of his passing how much apart of my life he was and still is. We were able to communicate and I found that to be unique. Right now I am having a hard time coping. At times I think I see and hear him in the house. I can still feel his presence. I am not ready to get another friend yet. I want another friend, but I do not want to feel like I am replacing Jack. I have looked in shelters thinking that I could give the same chance to another little guy but I think right now I am still in the guilt stage of grieving and I am not sure how long this lasts.

  223. Roseann says:

    Hi comment by Roseann
    I lost my grey and white tabby Nikki 7 years old tonight to Renal Failure..I made the choice to put her down after back and forth to the vet’s..this is the hardest time in my life,,,I came home threw away her catliter box,hung on the wall her collar,and her first toy she has had since the day I adopted her..I cry on and off walking back and forth around my apartment lying on my bed wishing she was lying next to me like we always do/did..I lit a white candle and put it outside my front door where she always sat..
    her bags of food and bowls I left in a safe place for all the stray cats in our complex to eat…these things have made me feel less sad
    I am thankful for you web site it helps LOVE Roseann

  224. Toni says:

    Hi, I lost my beautiful black lab, Ginger, 3 years ago and had her cremated. I had her ashes in my livingroom which was her favorite room. We moved 2 months ago and only a pet owner would understand this, but I was heartbroken to take her away from “her” room. I decided to have her ashes scattered, but noplace would to it from a plane. She LOVED to stick her head of the window in the car and I thought that being scattered from a plane would be her final “rush”. My brother looked online and found FurEverFlight.com and the reason I decided to have them scatter Ginger’s ashes was they are the only ONLY ones who only do pets! They don’t scatter people’s ashes, they only do pets! And they scattered Ginger over a wildlife sanctuary! She will get to chase squirrels and possums forever now… I guess that’s better than sitting on my shelf. I just wanted to share my grief and how I am dealing with it.

  225. Amy Pearson says:

    I moved into a flat by myself for the first time and it was daunting but within 2 weeks this gorgeous long haired cat arrived on my windowsill and would not leave, I tried to put her out of the front door, the back door and windows but she kept coming back. 6 years later and Lucy had become one of my best friends, she helped me with a few issues I had to deasl with and I saved her from a couple who were not looking after her as they should haver been. She was killed by a car recently and the pain and loss I feel is so hard to describe. It is exactly like losing a member of family, and everybody in this situation will feel very different depending on circumstances. Take day by day, remember the lovely moments had between you and the love both given and received, and only start to think about getting another friend/pet when you are feeling better.

  226. Jackie Hawken says:

    4 years ago, Locket, my daughter’s cat who was an amazing personality, was diagnosed with cancer. I miss her and think about her every day – I still have one cat and a dog now, but Locket was unique.

    When we went to have her injected, Ellie held her paw as she passed away and I chanted my Buddhist mantras under my breath. We asked that she not be put in a box – so we wrapped her little body in a blanket with her had poking out. Ellie, 18, took her back to the house and went to bed with Locket in her arms – I told her that Locket would want that and that her spirit was still around. She awoke a few hours later, still with Locket in her arms. I phoned her friends, bought some champagne and a cake. My partner, Ben, sculpted out ‘Locket’ on a stone and dug a hole in the garden. I got some rose petals that I had in the house. Ben put Locket (still in the blanket) into the hole and one by one we scattered rose petals on her. I then did some Buddhist prayers. Ben put the earth back and the stone on top. We then went inside to toast her life and eat the celebration cake.

    It was a tearful occasion, but we honoured her and believed that her spirit would go on. I then did the 49 day Buddhist Chenrezig practice every night for her to have a good rebirth. It really helped to honour Locket and see it through in this way. Ellie still has her picture in her room.

    I don’t think there is an easy way to deal with the death of a beloved pet.

  227. Here are my tips for dealing with the loss of a beloved pet – I’m a vet with Veterinary Creative and a member of the American Association of Human-Animal Bond Veterinarians. I care for dogs, cats and exotic animals in Scottsdale, Arizona and have practiced for twenty years.

    1) Avoid non-animal lovers. Since these people have not experienced a deep bond with an animal, they do not understand the emotions you are experiencing. They sometimes make insensitive comments, such as “It’s just a cat, get over it,” or “Go down to the local shelter and pick-up another dog.”

    2) Celebrate your pet’s life by putting together a album of great memories or make a donation in your pet’s name to an animal charity. I also recommend hosting a party for your animal loving friends. Have them share pictures and stories of their treasured pets.

    3) Remember, people react differently to the loss of a pet. In general, women mourn for several weeks to months. Men are ready to adopt another pet in a much shorter time frame. Be sensitive to your spouse and the different stage of grief they may be in.

    4) Some people imagine seeing or hearing their pet around the house for several weeks after they are deceased. I have experienced this myself. Take it as a sign of how deep a bond your shared with your pet.

    5) Many communities have pet grief support groups to help with this process. Check with your veterinarian for a group in your area.

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