Do your coworkers hate what you wear to work? Here’s how to deal with coworkers who complain about your clothes, cause problems for you at work, and stress you out.
“My fellow female employees are much older than I am, and they constantly make comments about the fact that I like to wear heels and skirts to work,” says Car on my article about difficult coworkers. “I’m well within the proper dress code, but they’re offended by what I wear to work. There is a huge generation gap at my office and the majority of the people I work with are over 50 (I am 33).”
Well, that’s the first clue – her coworkers have a different sense of style! But that doesn’t solve her problem. Below, I offer a few tips for dealing with coworkers who don’t like what you wear to work.
If you struggle with wearing the right clothes to work, read Dress Your Best: The Complete Guide to Finding the Style That’s Right for Your Body. The authors use real people to help readers figure out the best clothes for their body types, and cover what to wear if you work in an office.
If you have long-term career goals you want to achieve, read books like Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job. The more adept you are at coping with fellow employees who disagree with you, the happier you’ll be at work! Negotiating office politics takes practice – and office politics range from emptying out the dishwasher at work to delegating complicated, sensitive tasks to your employees.
And, office politics also includes what you wear to work…
When Your Coworkers Complain About Your Clothes
Here’s the rest of my reader’s comment on my article about dealing with difficult coworkers.
“There is another female employee is in her mid 20′s who also gets harassed. They make comments to each other about what she wears, even though she is also within our dress code stipulations. We both simply wear more modern and trendy clothes, yet we constantly hear snide comments. I generally ignore them, but the other day one of these coworkers printed out our dress code. She thought I should read it because some people were ‘offended’ by what I was wearing. I completely felt I was dressed appropriately, and was offended that I was being singled out – especially since this person was not my supervisor. Plus, she would not tell me what aspect of the dress code I was violating. My supervisor was out of the office, which is usually when these coworkers strike. I’m just not sure how to address this situation.”
Ask yourself if what you wear to work is worth going to war
Some battles are worth fighting: workplace discrimination, harassment, unfair wages, bullying, and unsafe work environments. Other battles are really just pesky annoyances that are easier to shrug off. You have to ask yourself if this is the hill you want to die on – do you really want to wage a clothing battle at work?
If this were me, I’d re-evaluate what I wear to work. But I’m not a fashionista – I’m definitely not modern and trendy! So it’d be easy for me to rethink my clothes, and wear less fashionable clothes at work.
That said, however, I do think it’s unfair for the older coworkers to set the clothes trends at work, and basically tell the younger women what to wear to work. It shouldn’t be that way – we should be able to wear whatever we want to work, especially if we’re within the office dress code!
But, my friends, life isn’t fair. It’s not fair that women still get paid less than men for doing the same job, and that women in general do more work at home than men. It’s not fair that some people have to work in crappy factory jobs, and others get to do what they love – and get paid for it.
So while it may not be fair that you have to rethink what you wear to work because your coworkers have a problem with your clothes, it’s reality.
Be realistic about how this “dress code war” will play out
Do you think your coworkers will change their minds about what you wear to work? Nope, not in a million years. They think they’re 100% right – just like you think you’re 100% right! They hate what you wear, they’re offended by your skirts and heels, and they’re determined to make you see it their way.
You won’t change your coworker’s perspective about what you wear to work, unless you’re a master at solving problems at work. It doesn’t matter if your supervisor agrees with you or you get the president of the company to agree that you’re well within the office dress code guidelines. Your coworkers will still be offended by your clothes. Your clothes will still be causing problems at work.
So while you may be 100% right about what you’re wearing to work, you will never convince your coworkers to see it your way.
Realize how important clothes are – they affect your work relationships
“Some people are surprised to discover how much clothing counts toward the assessment of their personal competence,” writes Dianna Booher in Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader (an excellent book for people with career goals!). “Research proves the importance of dress and grooming to your personal clout and credibility. Like it or not, people make important decisions based on how you dress and what you wear to work.”
You may be wearing trendy, modern clothes, but what message are you sending to your coworkers, your supervisor, your customers or clients? Maybe your coworkers are actually doing you a favor by pointing out the message they’re getting from how you dress.
I’m not saying your coworkers are right – I’m just giving you an objective perspective on how what you wear to work can affect your relationships with your fellow employees. And if your coworkers feel this way about what you wear to work, maybe others feel the same way.
“People size you up quickly, and change their minds slowly,” writes Booher in Creating Personal Presence. “Instead of resisting that fact, understand how to make it work for you rather than against you.”
Do you want to be right at all costs – do you want to win this battle of the dress code – or do you want to do your job in a peaceful work environment? Do you want to stubbornly stick to your perspective, or do you want to learn from your coworkers? Maybe you can find a way to make this situation work for you, not against you.
Sometimes it’s easier and smarter to let go of the little things, and live in peace. Marriages work better that way – and so do office relationships.
Another option is to find a job that is more in line with who you are and how you dress! Read Should You Quit Your Job? 6 Things to Consider Before Resigning for tips.
I welcome your thoughts on dealing with coworkers who have a problem with what you wear to work…
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.