If you’re wondering what to talk about on the first date, check out these five tips for making conversation.
These aren’t just tips for dating new partners; they’re effective conversation starters for anyone: established couples, work colleagues, and casual acquaintances…
Before the tips, a quip:
“No one can understand love who has not experienced infatuation,” writes Mignon McLaughlin. “And no one can understand infatuation, no matter how many times he has experienced it.”
If you wonder about the difference between love and infatuation, read 5 Ways to Tell If It Could Be True Love. Sometimes we think we’re in love when we’re really just twitterpated. Below are five things to talk about on the first date — and these conversation starters are from Leil Lowndes’ How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships.
What to Talk About on the First Date
1. Parrot the key phrases. Repeating certain words is a sure-fire way to keep conversations going! For instance, if your date says something like, “The last time I saw a live concert was in the 90’s, when I won tickets to Elton John.” This is the perfect time for you to say “Elton John?” or “concerts in the 90’s” or “live concerts.”
More often than not, your date will keep talking about that topic. Try it — it works!
2. Throw “you” around. “Start every appropriate sentence with you,” writes Lowndes in How to Talk to Anyone. “It immediately grabs your listener’s attention. It gets a more positive response because it pushes the pride button and saves them having to translate it into ‘me’ terms.”
The fewer times you say “I”, the more attractive and friendly you’ll appear.
3. Practice “echoing.” Echoing isn’t the same as parroting key phrases. Echoing is using your date’s jargon or way of speaking. For instance, if he’s a pharmacist, he may not use the word “drugstore” to describe where he works (pharmacy is used more often by pharmacists). Or if she’s a skier she might use the words “chalet” instead of “cabin” or “ski lodge.”
The idea with echoing is to forge common ground by paying attention to the words your date uses – and to use those same words to keep conversations going.
For more tips, read 10 First Date Conversation Starters.
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