Comments on: When He Says “I’m Not in Love With You Anymore”

By: sammy

sammy — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 04:57:43 +0000

I was with this guy for 12 yrs. then we broke up and for 10 yrs. then all of a sudden he facebooked me and i accepted, thinking after 10 yrs, he changed. ha, he just got worse. FIRST he came on spring break to see me and it was the best and he stopped drimking which was a BIG problem in our past. now i think its all good, NOT!!! then he pays for me to go to p.r. for 3 months, and i just had my ACL surgery. so, i go and he makes me walk all over the place when i told him if i go all i want to do is RELAX! you know. then he keeps me like a dog and tells me he will smack the s**t out of me in the airport when i was geting the ticket if i kept talking s**t. so, i left him, now he is here in my house in my state and not paying bills rubbbing the past in my face and making me feel i need to leave my house, i love him so much until TODAY. he told me out of know where , I DONT LOVE YOU! i think its time for him to go back to p.r. or by his family . im sorry, but now out of know where YOU dont love me anymore f**k that, gyou got to gol. WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO!!!HELP!!!!!!!!!

By: Trinity

Trinity — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 05:04:04 +0000

Hello, Not sure how to even start.. I have been married for 13 years this coming may… I say married because we have not divored yet.. We have two children ages 5 and 10.. we are 7 yrs apart in age.. him being younger… we have had our ups and downs.. well at least I thought that was what they were.. he came to me last august and told me he loved me.. but was not in love with me anymore… at that point.. I was floored.. devasted… I couldnt really understand what he was saying.. I was in shock… but I knew something was/had been wrong for a while.. I had known for maybe 6-8 months before he came to me… but I didnt think anything was “really” bad between us before that.. just thought we were having typical married problems… like we werent doing things together much anymore.. and felt like there was a wedge being pushed between us .. with his job.. the kids.. life in general… through the years we have fought.. over one thing or another.. some drop down drag out fights.. some just short ones.. I felt that those fights were us claiming bounderies.. what we expected from each other.. what we were willing to deal with and what not… well through the years.. we would say mean things to each other.. in the heat of arguments.. I said pretty mean things.. I admit it.. one being that when we got together.. I would be the stay at home mom.. and take care of the kids.. we both agreed to that.. but when we would get into arguments.. I would throw it up in his face that I gave up everything for him.. so he could pursue his life.. career.. whatever… well I would say those things alot… and thinking back.. I never really meant to hurt him.. but it had.. and that is one of the things.. after talking with him that he is basing his feelings on.. saying that if you say it enough to someone .. they believe it.. and I understand that.. and Im so deeply sorry for the pain I caused him… I never knew how much it hurt him… but.. here we are.. and now he is leaving.. we are separating… I asked him if this is a separation.. or divorce.. he tells me that he is done.. and he doesnt think it can be repaired… Im SO broken hearted.. we have been trying to make things better all this time.. almost a year.. and all he has ever said to me.. is Im not happy.. that he doesnt feel any better about us.. problem is.. I have bent over backwards to change my outlook on our relationship.. tried everything I can to make him happy.. and its not enough.. he looks at me and tells me he feels Im doing all these nice things for him because I have to.. not because I want to.. so it just doesnt matter what I do.. it seems he will never believe Im doing all this things for him because I want to.. I want to make him happy.. he just doesnt believe me… I guess because he is so hurt… he also told me he is absolutly positive I am not attracted to him.. and he couldnt be farther from the truth.. I think he is beautiful.. but again.. he does not believe me.. and I am afraid to show him for fear of rejection from him…anyways… I know I have rambled.. and to be honest there is way too much to mention… I guess what I am writing this for is to ask if I should just let it go… him go… I really do love him.. he has been my world… my rock.. for so long.. and when we met.. we were so in love.. and we both felt that we were meant to meet and be together… and I dont know how we got to this point.. Im so devestated.. my heart has been hurting for so long… but it seems nothing is going to change .. no matter how much I try… thx for reading..

By: lynn

lynn — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 22:24:13 +0000

a couple nights ago my husband of only 9 months told me he thinks of me as more a friend than anything. and that through out our relationship and marriage doesnt feel as though i loved him. personally i dont know how he feels that way because i stuck by his side when he decided to jion the military, through out basic and tech school and i moved across the world(leaving my own family) to be with him. i do every thing he asks of me and even things he doesnt. my heart is sinking and it hurts so bad because i really do love and care for him and being in another country at the moment we still sleep in the same bed he still cuddles with me hugs me kisses me and calls me baby but i cant help but cry every time he touches me cause i dont know if its real or not and i dont know what to do. and i very strongly oppose divorce and its so early in the marriage. so what do i do?????

By: mahi

mahi — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 15:43:58 +0000

hello every one I really need help , last night my boyfriend tell that he wont to broke up with and he said he doesn’t know if he love me any more or not and he has 3 concern first we lose consummation because i am a negative person and i can’t give him an opining so he lost hope so he stop tell the important thing and shear things with me but this is not true he is a very busy person and have a lot of responsible on his back so i was trying to be nice to him when he tell me something and try to make him feel better,and his second concerned that we only talk about six and that making him fell low and then he start to avoid me and avoid talking to me but that also not true we always talk in late night and if i try to talk about any thing he go for six he never said he doesn’t wont it and wont it to stop yes sometime i felt like he doesn’t wont it but that the only way to grab his attention and the third one is that he save some money so we can get married in this year but now his family need him and need his money so he said he cant committed to me because he doesn’t have something to offer to me so my question is ,is it to late to fix this issues and come back together i love him and i know he love me too ,so can you please help me to get him back

By: mum of 4

mum of 4 — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:15:18 +0000

Hi there where do I start I’ve been with my husband for 12 years we have our ups and downs like any couple well 5 days ago he comes out with he’s sick of me and the kids and he would leave if he had the choice his mood swings are like jeckle and hyde all the time well me and the kids have been ignored noW for 5 days and its driving me insane problem is kids are 9,8,6,3 so I can not make excuses for him not for his benifit but for the kids sake I just need someone to talk to he owns the house and I would have nowhere to go with the children and doesn’t seem to care how his moods affect anyone!

By: Paige

Paige — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 01:57:25 +0000

These asshats! Why do we let them do this to us. I know my worth. I’m smart, funny and pretty. WHAT am I/are we, thinking?! Sometimes I don’t feel I’m thinking at all…just feeling.

Thank you all for this discussion. It helps.

By: Kristine Renee

Kristine Renee — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 13:46:56 +0000

I know how all you are feeling. I’m 42 years old with 3 children: 15, 9 and 16 months, two bad divorces, and bad recent relationship. I recently got acquainted again with my high school sweetheart who lives across the country and has been there for 20+ years. We were talking, texting, facebooking, for months and he seemed like he really wanted to try to re-kindle things. He invited me to come out there to visit, was excited about it and said those things that make a woman really think that: “He is serious!, he really acts like he is concerned about me, my life and so on”. He even wanted to move back home (where I live) due to job and economical reasons. I arrived and we had one great day and night; then all of a sudden he acted like he didn’t want me there!!! Almost like I was interfering in his life and he wanted me to leave. When I confronted him he stated that I wasn’t that he just had a lot on his mind about moving, a job, and so forth. I immediately went to the airport and got a flight home. As I got out of the car to go in he kissed me and hugged me tightly with tears in his eyes, and of course I had been crying. Went home, texted him and he does respond, called him and he does answer and talk to me but not in that caring, concerned voice as before. Almost like I am bothering him. Through our talking; I rediscovered that we had so much in common; morals, values, goals, etc. So that makes it even worse for me: I guess he’s “just not that into me” as I am him. Very hurtful!!! can’t stop crying!!! He was the first guy in years that I felt such a connection with, and even after almost 30 years I still haven’t gotten over him. Any advice or help out there??

By: Paige

Paige — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 17:53:20 +0000

I found this site by typing “why am I letting my boyfriend determine my happiness”. I am (was) supposed to be relocating to another state to live with him. Three days ago I gave him my arrival date. Haven’t heard a word from him since. I’m feeling so many really painful emotions right now. Shock, grief, shame, embarrassment, abandonment, and a terrible fear of the future. I’ve been making plans for this move for over four months, and now I feel…I don’t know, kind of anchorless I guess. If I don’t have this what do I have. I’m not sure how to begin re-routing my life. I had it all planned out and now…well, now I see that all my plans, all my dreams and expectations were totally reliant on another persons feelings and actions. I’m hoping that this experience isn’t going to leave me hopelessly jaded and cynical (though at this moment I feel like it just might.)

By: missemmy

missemmy — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 13:45:21 +0000

Maria and sinead, I know EXACTLY what you are both going through. I actually take some comfort in knowing I’m not the only one. I have a 4 month old baby boy, I was with the father for just over a year when he decided to break up with me 6 months pregnant and left me for another woman. This woman was someone he has worked with for several years and I’ve even met her myself on a number of occasions. He is now living with her, they are possibly getting married and she is now spending time with my child. We were also engaged before. I have been in a state of traumatic turmoil and so depressed. But there is hope, I also met someone and he has been a saviour. I don’t need a man to make me feel better but I’ve gone through so much that I’m actually more confident in myself and he arrived just at the right time. I just need this other woman to get out of our lives as she’s not very nice and I don’t really want her round my son. So yes, my advice would be to stick at it, try and get happy for yourself and remain positive if you can. Its hard, I was crying every night waiting for my son to be born on my own while the man I loved was round the corner with another woman. I know how it feels, but believe me.. You do get through it. Oh and also, he will get his share of pain and its hiss loss anyway. Sacrificing a beautiful life with a beautiful family for some tart is a huge price to pay in the long run. X

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:04:35 +0000

Ok can someone help me? My boyfriend and I broke up 2 and a half weeks ago and I’m having that good-one-day-then-depressed-the-next moment…
I actually tried asking people for help on some websites but no one’s been replying to me and it’s just making me feel hopeless. Can someone reply here first so I can at least know someone’s actually willing to help?