Nov 112009
 

You’ve been through a relationship breakup, and now you can’t control your obsessive thoughts about your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend! This breakup advice includes practical ways to stop obsessing about a lost love, based on a question from a reader.

Here’s what he said on my How to Let Go of Someone You Love article:

“I still seem to be obsessing about my ex. She crowds into my thoughts a dozen times a day. I’m trying my best to forget about her, but, despite what I’ve read and the advice I’ve gotten, I CAN’T GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD! I feel like I’m going through my days as half a person, with nothing ahead of me but regrets about what might have been….how do I stop my thoughts?”

Obsessing about your ex can be a normal part of breaking up – but if those thoughts are overpowering or overwhelming, then you need to find a way to take control. Below are six ways to stop obsessing about your ex. For more breakup advice, read Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go.

Ways to Stop Obsessing About Your Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend

Different people will find different ways to control obsessive thoughts effective…and the only way to learn what works for you is to try the one that most resonates with you first. If that doesn’t work after a couple of weeks, then try another technique.

Remember the dog-and-vomit analogy. I read There Is a Season by Patrick Lane, about his journey through addiction and recovery. He said thinking about terrible things in the past is like a dog returning to his own vomit (or something to that effect). I love this analogy, and use it when I start berating myself for something I regret doing. Instead of indulging in self-flagellation, I tell myself that I’m not a dog and I refuse to go back to my own vomit…and I then think “Eeewwww…” and I move on! This is a very practical, effective way to stop obsessing about a breakup. It can also work for addictive relationships.

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The rest of this article has been moved to my new site, “Quips and Tips for Love Relationships.”

Please read Do You Think About Your Ex All the Time? 6 Ways to Stop Obsessing

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How to Get Your Ex Back

Stop the Divorce and Save Your Marriage

How to Captivate a Man and Make Him Fall in Love With You

laurie pawlik kienlenI'm Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen (but I wish my name was Rosie Frost!). I'm a bookworm, travel bug, flute player, writer. My husband and I live in Vancouver, Canada with our cat and dogs.

Are you happy? My Grade 10 Social Studies teacher, Mr Merritt, always used to ask me that. And I am happy - despite a difficult childhood (schizophrenic mother, no father, foster homes), infertility, an eating disorder, and a chronic illness. The source of my peace and joy is God; I'm a Christian.

How is your life unfolding - what do you need? I welcome your big and little comments below, about big or little things. I can't give you advice, but writing can give you clarity and insight.

In peace and passion.... Laurie

  2 Responses to “Ways to Stop Obsessing About Your Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend”

  1. Thanks for your comment, Sam. I’m glad you’re not obsessing about your ex-girlfriend, but you’re still aware that it can happen.

  2. I just broke up with my girlfriend but don’t obsess about thinking about her. I think this article is a good thing to be aware of because obsessive thoughts can happen to anyone.