Your partner leaves, and you can’t stop yourself from calling him. Worse, you keep begging him to come back to you and start over…and you hate yourself for it.
“I hate to plead but I have, says Girl25 on my article about moving on after your boyfriend leaves you. “I’ve asked for him to recall how we got together, and I called him many times. I also asked him not to do this to us, and give us one last try. But it doesn’t seem to work. He’s silent…I have to ask him to talk things out even if we had done it two or three times before.”
Does this sound familiar? Many heartbroken men and women refuse to let go of their partners, and plead for them to give the relationship a second chance.
But it doesn’t work. Even if you got back together, you’d always know your partner is only with you because you begged him to come back. Do you really want a relationship based on that?
It’s time to stop begging your boyfriend or husband to come back – and here’s why.
3 Reasons to Stop Begging Him to Come Back
These tips are about achieving your life goals, not nurturing your broken heart. If you want to focus on your ex, read How to Let Go of Someone You Love. These tips are about rediscovering who you are as a person, and living life to the fullest.
Take a step back from the relationship
It’s over. He broke up with you, and he doesn’t want you back. If you keep begging him to come back, you keep driving your self-respect into the ground. Soon you will feel like you are nothing – if you don’t already feel that way!
Take a deep breath, and step away from the relationship. Instead of looking at it with longing, see it with objective eyes. There were problems in the relationship – whether you admitted them or not – and your ex isn’t willing to work them out. Stop begging him to be someone he’s not. If you were meant to be with your ex, then you and he would be together.
Start rebuilding yourself as a woman
Who are you? Where do you want your life to take you? Put all thoughts of your ex-boyfriend aside, and start thinking about your future, your career goals, your LIFE.
A man is not your life, and you are not your relationship.
If you want to be a healthy, strong, happy, whole woman, then you need to start focusing on your goals and hopes for your life. Get happy and fulfilled – start rebuilding your life the way you want it! The first step is writing down 50 things you want out of your life.
Do things that create self-respect and self-confidence
When you call, text, email, or beg him in person to come back to you, you are chipping away at your self-respect and self-confidence. You are lowering your self-image, and you are teaching yourself to think that you’re less than dirt.
The only thing that begging accomplishes is to make you feel worse about who you are. Begging him to come back does NOT make you more attractive or appealing to him – it makes you seem desperate and pathetic.
So, get off your knees. Start figuring out how to achieve your goals and create a life you are proud of.
I’m reluctant to add this last sentence to this article, because I so want you to focus on rebuilding yourself into a happy, healthy woman. But I know that sometimes obsession overwhelms reason, so here it is…
For more tips on how to stop begging your boyfriend to come back to you, read Do You Think About Your Ex All the Time? 6 Ways to Stop Obsessing.
What is your next step?
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.