Understanding Finances After Your Husband Dies

Women are commonly left with the finances after their husband dies –  and not all wives understand how their husbands handled the money, bills, and other financial tasks. Here, money expert and creator of Navigating Wealth Pam Stearns describes how to start understanding your finances after your husband dies…

“It’s very common for women to feel both financially and emotionally lost after her husband dies on,” says Stearns. “Women are numb, lost, emotionally drained, abandoned, paralyzed, lonely, fragile, angry, weak, aimless, forgetful, frightened, overwhelmed, disconnected, vulnerable, relieved, pained and guilty.  Some of these feelings surface and some stay hidden.”

If you’ve lost your husband and need help moving forward, click on Widow to Widow: Thoughtful, Practical Ideas for Rebuilding Your Life by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg. And, read on for Stearns’ tips on understanding finances after your husband’s death.

First, a startling statistic about widows: The average age of widowhood in the United States is 56. Women usually marry older men and on average live seven years longer than men.

Understanding Finances After Your Husband Dies

1. Avoid making impulsive financial and life-changing decisions.  “Should I move out of our house to a smaller home?”   “Should I move in with our kids?”   “Should I move away from my neighborhood and to another city to be close to our kids?” These are examples of decisions that should not be made in haste after a husband dies. Many loved ones want to help, and encourage widows to quickly move on…but it’s strongly advised for widows to take plenty of time to adjust.  After a year or so, they’ll be in a much better frame of mind for these life-altering decisions.

2. Talk with an objective person about your options. Mary (one of my clients) was in her mid 40s when her 60-year-old husband suddenly died of a heart attack.  She received a million dollar life insurance settlement and asked me to help her decide what to do with the money.  Her initial comments were “the wolves are circling and everyone wants to tell me what to do with the money.  I am scared and lost and feel very vulnerable.”  We discussed options for her life.  How could she reinvent herself?  What are her cash flow needs?  Would she like to get involved in philanthropy?  Our discussions were much more than just about the numbers.  We discussed new paths and new alternatives for her new life. Understanding finances after your husband dies isn’t just about money; it’s about envisioning the future and creating a path to happiness.

3. Differentiate between immediate and long-term decisions. For recent widows, it’s important to differentiate between immediate (arrange for funeral, select an attorney, review cash flow and liquidity needs, collect benefits, check health insurance, settle estate, etc.) and can-wait (long-term) decisions.  This helps reduce anxiety and confusion. And — take care of your emotional health! Read 4 Tips for Grieving Widows or Widowers.

If you’re a widow who feels paralyzed about making money decisions, read 4 Tips for Facing Financial Fears or Fixing Money Mistakes Women Make.

And if you have any questions or thoughts on understanding finances after your husband dies, please comment below…

Stearns founded Navigating Wealth specially to help women through major life transitions (loss of spouse, divorce, job changes, etc.).  She blends interior wealth (feelings, values, goals, fears, etc.) with external wealth (cash flow, investments, taxes, etc.) for a comprehensive holistic understanding of true wealth.

1. Help Figuring Out Your Finances for Widows
2. Setting Financial Goals – 5 Tips for Finances and Goal Planning
3. 6 Ways to Take Control of Your Finances – You’re the Boss!

Category: Breakup Survival Tips, Finances, Grief & Recovery Tips, Mind & Soul, Money Management Tips, Retirement Plans & Goals, Tips for Money & Couples