Are You an Introvert? A Test for Introverted Personality Traits

This test for introverted personality traits and types not only reveals if you’re an introvert, it describes the top signs of introversion. Some of these introverts’ personality traits will surprise you!

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain is a fascinating book about introverted personality traits. Once you learn that you’re introverted (and I suspect you are, else you wouldn’t be searching for introverted personality tests :-) ), you should learn all you can about introverts.

This test for introverted personality traits not only reveals if you’re an introvert, it describes the top signs of introversion – some of which will surprise you. For instance, did you know that introverts don’t think of casual acquaintances as friends? And, introverts take a long time to sort out information. They also dread returning phone calls (that’s me!).

“Introverts enjoy time alone, consider only deep relationships as friends, and feel drained after outside activities, even if they were fun” says Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert & Extrovert in Love: Making It Work When Opposites Attract.




Laney also says these famous female actresses are introverts: Gwyneth Paltrow, Helen Hunt, Meg Ryan, Meryl Streep, Diane Keaton, Julia Robert, Michelle Pfeiffer, Candice Bergen, and Glenn Close. Wow! We’re all in good company.

Test for Introverted Personality Traits

This introvert personality test is from The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney.

Answer true or false to the following questions about introversion and extroversion:

1. I like to have long, uninterrupted periods to work on projects, rather than small chunks.

2. I sometimes rehearse things before speaking, occasionally writing notes to myself.

3. I like to listen more than talk.

4. People sometimes think I’m quiet, mysterious, aloof or calm.

5. I usually need to think before I respond or speak.

6. I like to share special occasions with just one or two people, rather than have a big celebration.

7. I tend to notice details many people don’t see.

8. If two people have just had an argument, I feel the tension in the air.

9. If I say I’ll do something, I almost always do it.

10. I feel anxious if I have a deadline or pressure.

11. I can zone out if too much is going on.

12. I like to watch an activity for awhile before joining in.

13. I form lasting relationships.

14. I don’t like to interrupt others; I don’t like to be interrupted.

15. When I take in lots of information, it takes me awhile to sort it out.

16. I don’t like overstimulating environments.

17. I sometimes have strong reactions to smells, tastes, foods, weather, and noise.

18. I am creative and/or imaginative.

19. I feel drained after social situations, even when I enjoy myself.

20. I prefer to be introduced rather than having to introduce others.

21. I often feel uncomfortable in new surroundings.

22. I can become grouchy if I’m around people or activities for too long.

23. I often dread returning phone calls.

24. I like people to come to my home, but I don’t like them to stay a long time.

25. I find my mind sometimes goes blank when I meet people or when I am asked to speak unexpectedly.

26. I talk slowly or have gaps in my words, especially if I’m tired or if I’m trying to think and speak at once.

27. I don’t think of acquaintances as close friends.

28. I feel as if I can’t show other people my ideas until they’re fully formulated.

29. Other people may surprise me by thinking I’m smarter than I am.

Are you an introvert? The answer…

Simply add up your “true” responses. The more “trues” you have, the more introverted personality traits or introversion signs you possess…

Scoring:

test for introverted personality traits

Introvert Personality Test

20-29 “true” responses means you’re a true introvert (like me!). Only deep relationships measure up as friendships and you use them to relax. You need to mentally rest throughout the day, even after enjoyable activities. Because you will draw a blank under pressure, prepare for meetings, talks, and even parties beforehand. Accept your nature and learn to politely fend off energy-draining people.

10-19 “true” responses means you’re both introverted and extroverted. You sometimes feel torn between the desire to dance in the streets and walk alone on the beach. Notice this, so you can keep your energy consistent. You judge yourself through your thoughts and feelings, and through others, leaving you with a broad view that is sometimes difficult to straddle.

1-9 “true” responses means you’re an extrovert. You relish variety, have lots of ‘close, personal’ friends and will chat with complete strangers. Your stimulation is all external, so you talk, think, and act quickly. As you reach midlife, however, you may need to take a break from the high life to reflect, even though it goes against your nature.

Here’s what Susan Cain says about people with introverted personality traits: “Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”

If your career doesn’t suit your introverted personality traits, read Best Jobs for Introverts and Quiet People.




Did this test for introverted personality traits reveal anything new about your personality? I welcome your comments below!

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on twitterLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on pinterestLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on linkedinLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on googleLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on facebook
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Shalom! I can't give you advice, but please feel free to share your thoughts below. I'm a writer in Vancouver; my degrees are in Psychology, Education, and Social Work. I live with my husband, two dogs, and cat. We can't have children, and we trust in God's love, grace, and wisdom. Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28.

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260 Responses

  1. Marie says:

    I could totally relate to most of the comments here by other introverts. I probably scored 20 on the test and somewhat neutral on the other questions. There have been a few times when I felt like being judged because of my introversion or it would seem like others think there’s something wrong with me, particularly family members such as my aunt. I believe there are still a number of people who aren’t educated enough or not aware at all on these topics. It can be challenging at times to be an introvert in extroverted society.

  2. Danielle says:

    I took the introvert personality test and I actually agreed with 28 out of the 29 questions which I must say is both refreshing and scary. For the longest time I just thought something was wrong with me, like psychologically, but after reading about the subject I am convinced that I need to stop trying to “fit in” with everyone else. For the last 6 years I have been working in customer service and if you’ve ever worked in a call center environment or even a restaurant, even as an extrovert, it is super stressful. People (especially family) have always told me I should have been some kind of scientist/computer programmer when in actuality I haven’t the slightest bit of interest in either subject….all because I’m shy and quiet and got decent grades. I just wish I would have thought to look into this subject before I went off for college so I could have saved myself from years of stress.

  3. TJ says:

    Laurie, I have always been an introvert. I too can speak to groups, tutor students, and even sing in front of large groups of people in a professional setting (450-1000+). I scored 27/29, but I understand the other 2 questions better after reading them twice. I can say that I scored a perfect 29/29. I am a complex and deep abstract thinker. I prefer technical research or hands on/applied work like a systems and business analyst or systems technician job. I am lookimg into MIS, electronics, robotics, telecom wiring, electrician, and even product or project manager types of roles. I detest working in retail, general sales, help desk or CSR jobs! Our economy is so service oriented, and I would like to be self-employed and free to live my life the way I want. I have withdrawn from many friends and family because I am tired of trying to conform to their standards or “wishes/hopes” for my life and how I REALLY should be with them, others and professionally. My wife is a 60/40 E to I personality and is much more social than I am. We have more in common than we thought when we first met. We are more similar than we are different. We balance each other out fairly well. I too have become exponentially more introverted as I have gotten older over the years. I am in my mid 40s. I really need to buy and read these books so that I can find a proper paying and more satisfying job. Business and IT consulting has too much flux and isn’t steady enough for me. I have been forced to take odd jobs and short term contracts in the past. I then feel miserable when they end. Perhaps you can help me to find more resources that will make my job and career search more gainful, stable, satisfying and rewarding. I am also looking for more balance and a better quality of life and more peace of mind! TK

  4. Tery says:

    Wow! Have you ever had anyone score 29 out of 29? I’m generally cautious of these kinds of tests, but this one describes me inside and out. I would add a second part to number 24 “I like to visit people, but I don’t like to stay very long.”

    I love people, but can’t handle too much for too long. The extroverted people in my life think that means I don’t like people, but I don’t agree with them. I just don’t know how to convince them otherwise (maybe I don’t need to). I also feel like I have something of value to offer the world, but am unable to because I can’t compete with a world that “can’t stop talking”.

    I’ll be interested to read your book. It would be wonderful to accept that I’m “normal” and not defective as society tells me. It would be even more wonderful if society could accept that people with introverted traits are normal.

  5. Kaye says:

    I’m almost 60. I knew I was an introvert but I think I’ve gotten more introverted as I get older. I really was beginning to think there was something wrong with me. Someone on FB suggested the Quiet book. Which led me to dig deeper and I googled the subject, found your test for introverted personality traits and tested 26 out of 29. I am beginning to understand myself and why I feel the way I do. THANK YOU

  6. Laurie says:

    Dear Sally,

    Yes, I think a book like Quiet can help you balance your need to be alone with your need for socialization! The more you learn about introverted personality traits (and yourself), the easier it’ll be to make and keep friends.

    I think it’s important to remember that friendships take WORK – whether or not you’re introverted. I don’t mind talking on the phone, but I only call my 2 closest friends every month or even every 2 months. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to them, it’s that time goes by so fast and I tend to put my friendships on a lower priority rung.

    I encourage you to accept the friendships of the people who reach out, and set yourself a goal of making one non-face-to-face interaction a week. Or maybe two! I really believe that pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is healthy, and will help you develop and maintain good friendships.

    Good friends take sacrifices, and perhaps the sacrifice you have to make is to reach out once or twice a week in a way that isn’t the most comfortable for you.

    What do you think?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  7. Sally says:

    I scored in the middle but I think my middle is awful, and I think it’s caused me to lose a lot of my friends, especially recently.
    My extroversion comes out when I’m around someone face-to-face, and when I was in high school and college I had several close friends. Now, I’ve moved away from all of my friends for a job, and my introversion has caused me to lose all those friends because I can’t stand to do any sort of social interaction that is not face-to-face. I don’t write letters, send emails, texts, or talk on the phone. I don’t know WHY I avoid these things so much, but it’s caused every single one of my friends to feel hurt, and they’ve all left. Now I couldn’t call them if I wanted to, and I don’t want to make new friends because I think it will lead to the same events happening over and over.

    I feel like I’m stuck in a horrible social catch-22 and I hate it so much. I hate hurting my friends with my weird social anxieties and I hate being alone when I really need someone to talk to. I’m almost 30, you’d think I’d have figured myself out by now, but I feel like it just gets worse and worse. People reach out to me a lot and want to be my friend but I just can’t bring myself to do it anymore.

    Is the book ‘Quiet’ for someone like me? Can it help? Can ANYTHING help?

  8. Laurie says:

    Thanks for your comments, doc! The older I get, the more I accept my introverted personality traits.

    I need peace and quiet almost as much as I need air and food.

  9. doc says:

    I scored 28, not surprising ever since I was enlightened of my personality on watching Cain’s TED talk presentation. I have often struggled with getting jobs after interviews and now know why.

    My husband is an extrovert and understanding with it. Introverts are thought artists. And like artists, do not feel the need nor want to show their preliminary sketches as they will be inaccurate but we love the journey discovering the ideas, perhaps leading to something great. We see what others see but notice something else that inspires us greatly. And cannot wait for the quiet so that we can ponder over it. And if the moment isn’t right, we can’t think like we would like to and seem closed up to others except those who understand.

  10. Laurie says:

    Glenda,

    Thank you for being here, and for commenting! I read Quiet, too, and loved it. It does release us introverts to be ourselves doesn’t it? It sort of gives us permission to accept ourselves for who we are — and see that we are just as normal as the extroverts in the world.

    I hope the young people reading this article read that book, too. Maybe I’ll write a new article about it, so it gets more attention :-)

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  11. Glenda says:

    I am a lady in the 60 age group and I have always thought I had a personality problem but didn’t know what. I read the book Quiet and wished I could have read that book 50 years ago. I would advise any young person who thinks they are introverts to read it also. This book will make you feel a lot better about yourself and you will realize you are normal as the extroverts.

  12. Laurie says:

    Casey ~ I think you’re on the high end of the introversion scale! No, I don’t 26 is a stutter – not at all. It’s just that some introverts tend to speak more slowly, to gather their thoughts. I’m the same way as you when I’m traveling (or even just walking my dog) – I could stay in my head for hours and even days.

    Most of the people in the world are extroverts. Introverts are a minority. Let’s be proud of who we are! :-)

  13. Casey says:

    I’m so confused /: I made basically a 27. 26: Does it mean like a stutter? Like maybe you draw words out a little bit? Cause I don’t. 15: I’m not sure about that. I can’t think of a situation to help me. I need advise. I’m 16, I’m not sure if I am actually introverted or not. I feel like I am but I’m not sure. I read this once. “Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. ” I had my doubts but this is basically the story of my life! I live in my daydreams, thoughts and feelings. I thought I was soooo weird because maybe after a movie or Anime show I would make a story in mind and live it! I’m not sure how to explain it other than I’m in that specific world and especially at night before bed, I’m up for hours! And when traveling for hours I can just stay in my thoughts and daydreams. But I noticed others are not like this and even dont understand. Am I introverted or I just have a very imaginative mind.

  14. Laura says:

    I scored a 14. Both. I have tested the same on every personality test that includes extrovert/introvert types as well. I am always in between. When I am being introverted, I feel especially introverted at times because I am a very private person regardless of which type I am being at that time. My extroverted side can take center stage or speak in front of thousands and thrive on it. But my introverted side sometimes has a difficult time meeting any one person and holding up a conversation, but in those times I can analyze others really well and tell a lot about who they are and what they’re thinking. I like that ability. I find sites like this when I get frustrated that my extroverted side doesn’t go out and party or do many fun things even though I like to do them. I haven’t quite figured out why that is yet. It may be the very private side of me that seems to affect both my introverted and extroverted halves. Interesting stuff.

  15. Noranne says:

    The score didn’t surprise me at all! i scored 21 and i think Im collapsing. I tried to socialize and to avoid being introvert but i guess its making things worse ! kinda accepting who I am though i’m too young to give up

  16. Chris says:

    I scored a 25, kinda figured that I would have a high score. I always feel like the odd man out, even around family and people I’ve known for years. I have always felt something was wrong with me, but reading through these comments has given me some reassurance that maybe I’m normal, just a different kind of normal. Thanks Laurie! :)

  17. interesting introvert says:

    Wow, thanks so much for that introvert test. It helped me confirm my introverted ways!

  18. jade says:

    i got 28/29
    I’ve always been struggling being an introvert I always think something is wrong about me. I get very uneasy and and find it very difficult to talk to to other people and starting a conversation especially with strangers. I also find it hard to share my opinions ideas and thoughts sometimes. I stay inside my room when visitors are around even with relatives which are not close to me because i feel very uncomfortable and i always feel it very difficult to deal with such situations. and because of it people think i’m rude and selfish. after hours of conversation with someone i’m not really close to i often feel exhausted inside. I often feel people dislike me and do not understand me at all. I tried to be an extrovert many times but i failed. ._. even now I’m still having a hard time though i try to understand myself and my being an introvert its just really difficult at times especially in school when you know people think you’re weird and distant its hard to deal about it everyday.

    But..I’m just really glad that there are still things that make me feel good about myself like painting doing artworks, my love for music and arts my dream of being an artist and such. these things makes my life better and makes up with all the negativity stress and all.

    Anyway, just sharing ^^
    Great article by the way!

  19. Sahil says:

    28/29…sometimes it’s tough being an introvert …especially when most of the people around you are extroverts and none of them have knowledge of the these personality types…no one understands us..

  20. Cris says:

    I scored 28. That makes me an extreme introvert. I always knew I was so different than everybody around me. My family members, the kids I hung around at school and my co-workers. Everyone was so bubbly, energetic, making pranks or talk up a storm. Me, I just sat there watching and listening. Everybody making plans what they want to do or where to go on the weekend. I just wanted to stay home and watch TV or read or write to my other friends. I felt anti-social but all was well with me. I was happy and calm. That’s all I needed. At work I didn’t like going to meetings or work related functions. I went only because it was mandatory. Too many people and everybody talking. It’s too much. My cell phone I love. I never call people, only if I have to but I love to text. I can text all day long! I express myself with written word more than spoken word. I get to think what I want to express before I write it. I have many aquaintances, but I must say I have no real friends. I am creative in that I love to crochet beanie caps and donate them to cancer patients.

  21. Ashley says:

    I’ve been introverted my entire life because I was raised in an alcoholic household. I wonder how many of us have that in common? It seems to be a pretty big common ground for children of alcoholics to be introverts.
    Anyway, I got to this site because I realized I’m a 27 year old successful tattoo artist, and I’ve never been asked to be in a wedding. That sounds stupid, but it makes me realize how many friends i don’t have… I’ve always felt like a “bad friend” because I usually don’t hang out with people unless they ask me first, and even then they usually have to drag me out of the house. I get along with men more comfortably than women because they’re just an easier species to understand for me (they’re quiet, simple, and hold onto their childish nature forever), whereas with women I feel like I’m constantly being judged or seen as “weird”. My outlet is comedy, I’m good at making people laugh when I need to… But having “small talk” is PAINFUL. It’s made it really tough to have a consistent friends circle, and I’ve always adopted my boyfriends friends as my own even though that means they’re not going to be there in the same way when we break up (which we did.).. Sociology is strange.

  22. khine says:

    no one directly told me that i’m an introvert, i just found out before when i took an exam in college. it’s kinda hard to be an introvert because few people would talk to you. :)

    what could we do to easily get along with people, or for them to not to think that we are weird?

  23. Tom says:

    Wow…. I guess I found a home here.. people I can relate to.. .. Ive been accused of many things… people have even accused me of being gay since Im not the outgoing type. Nothing could be further from the truth… It takes me time to trust people and once that trust is broken Im done with em… It would be nice if there was a dating site designated to us introverts…Maybe I could connect on a deeper level with a woman who understands me.. does anybody know of a meeting place for people like us?

    Tom

  24. Frank says:

    Please, can you tell me if being an introvert minimizes a females ability to be warm and loveing in everyday communications?

  25. robert says:

    I’m a pastor that has to be extroverted (over30years) after my MBTI i was told that sometimes an introvert can be a better extrovert than a natual extrovert. Why is that? And what are my inntimate possibilities?

  26. Rebecca says:

    I have a sort of unusual case. I am an introverted musician. I can get up and perform in front of one hundred or more people, but I want nothing to do with them when all is said and done. It is currently causing problems for me because I’ve started music school and most performers are extremely extroverted look-at-me types. It causes a lot of mixed feelings, almost driving me away from my passion to become a professional. I don’t personally believe anyone can readily turn an introvert into an extrovert or vice versa. Sometimes I even find myself angry to be around other people and would rather be alone completing tasks and flooding my mind with new ideas. It’s been extremely hard for me to make friends, because like the questions state, I only consider friends those I’ve had a long term history with. An acquaintance usually has to want to become friends with me to actually form a strong bond. A problem I can imagine most introverts having is generally being misunderstood and mistaken for snobs, so no one will give them the time of day. I typically mistaken my introverted behavior for depression, because it can be stressful sometimes. The only times I’m outgoing is when I’m with my nuclear family, and very close friends, and even then if feels foreign to me.
    But I feel better knowing that there are plenty of other introverts out there, (although few in my current case) and I’ll meet them eventually.

  27. dfksdnfl says:

    it irks me how society seemes to want/exept extroverted people

  28. Daniel Richard says:

    I’m an extreme introvert. Like … off the charts type of introvert. :) Hmm but I tend to give the impression for being the go-to guy for business development, until actually going for a networking session when I feel like jumping off the 2nd level of the 2 storey pub (Bourne identity style) because it feels totally awkward for me.

  29. ranjeeta says:

    Wow! I am really an extreme introvert and people close to me has been criticizing because I am not ‘normal and outgoing’..funny I feel pity for them for being so ignnorant!

  30. Val says:

    I am so glad I run across this article. I am very-very introvert. I thought something is wrong with me because I always feel tired at the social gatherings, parties or even when I go shopping with a friend. My perfect weekend is quiet time with my husband (who is an extrovert LOL) at our secluded cottage. From time to time I need to re-charge just by laying on a bed and letting my thoughts go. I must say it is difficult to advance in the office when all extroverts are so good to get career advances.

  31. Alyce says:

    I am a true introvert. Except #20: I have no preference to introducing or being introduced. #24: I do not like company, so do not want anyone coming to my home. Ever. Exception would be daughter who sometimes is in are on biz trip (I live 3,000 miles away from family; and the other two welcome visitors, son and daughter have not been out here, since I relocated.)

    When I lived closer to family, I did not mind visits from most of them, nor cared how long they stayed.

    #26: I talk fast and annoyed with people who speak slowly.

    #14: Wow. I did not know that was an introvert trait; definitely applies to me.

    #5: I often chide myself to stop answering questions without first thinking or processing info. My main objective is to be done with person who started conversation; do not want to be bothered with interaction.

    I often said I prefer letters to phone calls, because I can read them at my leisure, take time to digest news, write thought out replies, and not be interrupted while I am “talking”.

  32. Laurie says:

    I’m glad this article was helpful! Introverted personality traits don’t need to be fixed, because there is nothing wrong with being introverted and quiet.

    I hope you show your husband this test, so he can see that there is nothing wrong with being introverted.

  33. Brooke says:

    i thought i just had social anxiety, but now i know. my score was about 27. my husband has spent quite a few years trying to “fix” me. i am very uncomfortable in social situations, etc, however, when i have to take the initiative to be outgoing i can.Its nice to know i guess im normal, might take me a while to feel that way though, Thanks so very much

  34. Michael says:

    27/30 so must be an introvert for sure! I liked the above comments about being in a shell because in high school that was my teachers and parents big complaint about me but hey its ok to be noisy and over talkative like the rest of my class.Recently,I have been reading the book “Quiet” which is very enlightening and makes me feel a lot more normal at 53. There certainly have been advantages to being introverted not withstanding finishing a Masters Degree since leaving school and being able to play 3 musical instruments proficiently.Now all I need is a job where I can work from home and not be bothered by annoying extroverted workmates!

  35. Miriam says:

    I scored 27. Now I feel like I’m completely isolated from people. I hate going out in public because of all the people and it’s so awkward. I hate talking to new people and I hate new environment. I hate it when people say, “You’re so quiet. Get out of your nutshell blah blah blah”. That only makes me worse because I interpret as being quiet is a bad thing. This world is too designed for extroverts and many times I feel I’ll never accomplish anything. My parents pressure me too, to stop being soft spoken and be more assertive. I feel like a failure. I wish I had some help or some encouragement.

  36. Jill says:

    Great test. I scored 27/29 so I’m definitely in the introvert crowd. I’ve had most of these traits from my earliest memories of childhood, so I truly am wired this way. Like others here I’ve always felt flawed, mainly because others have made me feel “flawed”, describing me as being in a “shell”. Guess what–there’s no shell! After recently hitting the half century mark, I no longer feel the need to “fix” myself or change for others as I did when I was younger. I can finally embrace who I am and be okay with it, which usually occurs in older age anyway. One other issue I have always encountered as an introvert is that rather than truly getting to know you, people will begin to “guess” and formulate in their minds who you are, and of course, they’re almost always wrong in their assessments. I will say I was surprised by some of the celebrity introverts, especially Meg Ryan, who has never come across that way at all in any of her movie roles. Even he beautiful and famous are this way–very comforting.

  37. DeeJ says:

    I remember my dad telling me that I was an introvert when I was in middle school and not fully understanding what it meant, but for the past few months I have been reading articles about introverts. There are certain extroverts I avoid because they require a lot of attention and they drain me, so I just have to to be around them in small doses, but not because I don’t like them. I enjoy doing things alone like shopping, reading, writing and I only have one close friend besides my husband. I can’t stand small talk, which introverts usually don’t like to talk about the weather and other mundane topics. I’ve been made to feel like something is wrong with me and was even made fun of in high school and as an adult for being “too quiet” I’ve accepted who I am, but there is room for growth, I can break out of my comfort zone in order to appear friendlier and to make new acquaintances

  38. Lauren says:

    Thank you, this test was very helpful, I scored 18 and so I am almost a true introvert. I needed to have this self assesment for myself as a 31 year old, full time mommy to 2 little ones, to understand the ‘drain’ that I have been feeling. I am not allowing myself enough time alone to recharge my batteries and I have been over committing myself socially to bless my children’s schedules.
    I am a psych major student and have studied a bachelors and honors and post graduate masters in counseling, and in my 20’s was repeatedly tested and evaluated as an extrovert.
    I was an extrovert as a single student. Now as a married parent, I am an introvert for sure!
    Thank you for this test, it has been very helpful
    Lauren

  39. leo says:

    I have been reading up on introverted and extroverted people because i have very strong feelings for a female i think is quite introvert, i thought i was an extravert so i have been looking to see if introvert and extravert people can fall in love and stay together. Until i did this test, it turns out i got 21 out of 29 so I’m more like her then i thought! i do tend to require less me time though and i do value very close friends opinions, but i hate being amongst people i don’t know, i have very few select friends that i build very close friendships with. But i am very compassionate and do need someone with me to feel secure and talk to to validate what i say. So I’m very mixed. I also hate loud sounds, I’m very sensitive when i comes to smell and taste. But still ended up with a 21 out of 29. i am somewhat happy to have discovered this site.

  40. TN says:

    I scored 17 out of 29. I guess I am somewhere in the middle. What are good career choices for a person like me that possesses both qualities? I like being in crowds where all of the action is, but I don’t necessarily mix with others right away. I just love to observe what is happening amd the reactions of others around me. Although I am very social I tend to pick up small details of their personality and facial expressions while I am talking to them and can usually tell within a short time whether or not they are an introvert or extrovert. I love being with people but I don’t think I could do it as a regular thing everyday. I have never really thought that being an introvert was a disadvantage, but just the opposite since introverts tend to be more observant about details in general. I am not necessarily shy, but I do like to feel out my environment and people in it before I feel safe enough to let them meet the real me. So what are some career ideas for those of us who are both?

  41. Des says:

    This article was comforting. As the article says, I always thought there was something wrong with me, that I was antisocial, that I have issues, etc. I mean, yeah, I do have an issue or two to work out, but it’s a relief to finally understand why it is that I have to psyche myself up so much just to get out of the house, or to warmly welcome people who visit me.

    But I think that it is a good thing for an introvert to be connected to an extrovert in a romantic relationship. It provides balance. Who would talk between the two introverts? Who would listen between two extroverts?

  42. biju says:

    many thanks for the post,, i score 27 out of 29!! also read all the other comments here, love the feel that there are many as like me,, another world,, thanku all

  43. Angela says:

    I’m 44 and have struggled all my life with this. I felt like I was the only one with this problem. Hearing others sharing makes me realize that it is okay to be this way, and you don’t have to be someone you are just not. Now I can like myself and just go with the flow in knowing that Im not alone. I wish I would have known this sooner and not thought that I had this mental problem.

  44. Rebecca says:

    29 out of 29. Wow! I mean, it’s no big surprise that I’m an introvert, but I didn’t think I’d answer all 29 sentences with a ” true” . . .

  45. Jing says:

    Hey. Interesting post. :) I took the MBPT several times in the past and seem to aways end up with INFJ. I scored a 28 on this test. Like you, I’m also an introvert. As most of the commenters mentioned, I too felt different from alot of people especially while i was in college. There were times during classes when I would always check the clock so i can get out and go study quietly alone in the library. LOL! *grabs the nerdy glasses* lol. Good times.

  46. lu says:

    Wow. I knew there was something different. I’m on the borderline of mix of intro and extro and introvert. its true re the blanking out and prep in advance for meetings etc. Such a relief to know why I am this way.

    Cheers
    L

  47. Queenie says:

    I felt somewhat surprise, but deep down I knew I was an introvert, especially after reading the one about returning phone calls. I have lost a few jobs because of this….wow! I’m going to work on being more outgoing…

  48. Green says:

    I guess I’m an anti social introvert. I got a 27, but disagree with both the answers showing I’m extroverted. I do not like people to come to my house, at all. If they must, they WILL leave quickly. And I do not form long lasting relationships. I don’t form short ones, though, either. I have my dogs for company and I’m happy being alone with my thoughts. When I was younger, both these things were not true, but they have become so over time.

  49. Caitlyn says:

    Woah, I got 24.5… I’m extremely introverted!
    Haha, I always thought I was anti-social or something. :p
    Introverted and proud!

  50. Mary says:

    Well I scored almost a 29, (27)! I told my extrovert husband I was an extreme introvert (which I’ve always known) and he was like – No your not! LOL! I am reading the book you reference and it’s like Dr. Laney is writing about me. It is amazing and so eye opening. I have been highlighting the parts that I think fit me and I think I’ve highligted half the book. I can say with age comes some bit of calm in this extrovert world though. It’s nice to know all of you are out there. Now we just have to figure out a way to actually meet each other without freaking out about it!

  51. Betty Boo says:

    Ahhh haaa, so Im introverted not antisocial. Phew! But how do we meet other introverts to extend our circle of friends? I prefer to be in my garden or reading a book….

  52. Billy says:

    25.5 odd score, but I have to say that I like to listen to extroverts, it’s very quite when two introverts are left to talk

  53. Andi says:

    It’s official, i’m an introvert. What I’ve always known has now been confirmed. So… what happens now?

  54. Lucy says:

    Wow! This is so comforting to know there are other introverts out there!

    I always wondered why I am how I am, but reading this helps me come to peace with my personality.

    I believe the world needs introverts. All extroverts would drive eachother crazy! If all talked, who would listen?

    I am DEFINITELY a true introvert, and I really relate to all the comments and this post.

    Now we can say we are introverts and proud of it.

  55. Nutt says:

    It’s so frustrating for the extroverted people to not understand “us”. It’s exhausting! I honor their desire to talk, however when you do not satisfy thier questions women think your a stick in the mud. It’s taken decades to develop my replys to them and I’m developing more as needed in the seasons of my life. Kids are teaching me lessons daily, “show time” when needed to get young ones out and show by example how to act and treat people is always exhausting for me but I do it because I wish to raise humble, selfless, gracious, faith driven, confident self restrained girls! Love is exhausting, for introverts!

  56. Bob says:

    Confirms what I already thought. Thanks. I think this is way I am totally in love with my dogs/animals and not people. Others consider me anti-social. Not true.

  57. Amber M says:

    I find it hilarious that I said “Yes” to 27 out of 29 questions because I only “thought” that I was weird before but this somewhat confirms it now. Ive never been able to relate to the majority of people because their ideas in general are too mediocre for me. I’ve only just realized to what extent I can tolerate people(which is 0%)because I get frustrated by even engaging in “online conversations” if they aren’t of substance! I started to believe that maybe im just a smartie pants by the way that I would respond to people because Ive always been able to express myself much better in writing (which i can come across as highly intelligent) but verbally and on the spot Ive always felt stupid and would think later, “I couldve said that MUCH BETTER if I had time to think about it!” Im not entertained or amused, nor do I have much respect for people who speak without thinking and since thats the Majority of the population, I dont fit in anywhere; but Ive always had a much more pleasurable experience w/ my own thoughts anyway than w/ anything that the world has to offer… not to mention that I tend to think that most people are intellectually beneath me and really have no right to question or in general, speak to me because I know that whatever it is that “Im proposing” has been carefully thought about and submitted w/o flaws. Through all of this Ive also been diagnosed w/ severe depression, Bipolar disorder and Borderline Personality disorder because although I would love to be able to form deep meaningful relationships, its hard to find someone like “me” and all others I simply dont want to be around under any circumstance because they mentally and physically drain me; then I get irritable and at that point I’ll tell people exactly what I really think of them and have been known to just, walk out of a job, class, or out of a loved one’s life 4ever because they are too much for me to bear and I have better things to do like enhance my “mind!” This answers a lot of questions for me and Im glad that I looked this up :)

  58. Tammie says:

    I have always thought I was weird and stupid compared to most people, because I can’t just pull an answer out of my head when someone asks me something, I always have to go look it up. I don’t talk in a crowd or at all, like to just sit back and listen. When discussing things with people at work I only want facts and not a 20 mins conversation.After the facts I tune people out. I don’t realy like company at my house, only occasionally. My basement apartment is my comfort and recharge zone. My kids call it my cave, LOL

  59. nhie says:

    hi!!!im 24..before i was asking myself why sometimes i felt different to others..i get easily and frightened to meet or mingle with group of people..usually i dont talk much in my work, i dont have my interest to share my story to my workmates..and during my high school life although I enjoying watching my classmate who usally talk funny stuff..but i only join with 2 or 3 circle of friend..encountering people with strong personality makes me uncomfortable that’s why i choose to be with simple personalit..after reading the article about being introvert and reading some comments above.. i was more understand myself the reason why i act in this way..and i still want to believe that being one of them is not disadvantage but instead i just thinking that its a good part for us because atleast find a true friends and we know how to treasures are special moment of life….

  60. Amber says:

    Jerry, I personally think the best mate for an introvert is another introvert. I found one and we hit it off great because we are so comfortable with each other and don’t like all the craziness of loud crowds. Happy with each other’s company and not drained by tons of other extraneous stuff.

    Probably more difficult to find an introverted mate because we kind of “hide” but well worth the wait!

  61. Amber says:

    Anybody else rather be in a group of 3 or 4 than just you and another person? I am introverted, and I notice that I avoid one on one situations because I need the buffer of another person. I don’t like all the pressure on myself to keep a conversation going. I find it very draining.

    Also, anybody avoid answering the phone, emails, and even the door at times? I’ve been known to pretend like I’m not home. lol I thought I was weird or that something was wrong with me. I like people, I really do. I just don’t care to be around them all the time! 😀

  62. Laurie says:

    I know I’m an introvert because I had to spend 12 hours working at a bowling event on Saturday, and I left never wanting to see another person (or bowling ball) again! People tire me out.

    Introverts get energized by spending time alone or in very small groups. Extroverts get energized by being in groups. But we’re all on the spectrum of introversion/extraversion – it’s a scale. Some of us are just more or less introverted than others!

    Thanks for sharing your personalities here, I really do love hearing from fellow introverts :-)

  63. Kara says:

    Minus maybe 3 things on that list. It describes me to a T. I couldn’t believe it. Maybe I can figure out how to be more open and comfortable with other people. Thank you so much for this info! :)

  64. hannah 2 says:

    i guess, introversion means that you are more interested of what you feel, of who you are first, than socializing or talking with others. i am an introvert too, and yes since birth i am, and that wouldn’t change. People may find me awkward by not talking, they thought i’m so innocent and indicisive. But when i’m with my close friends I do more the talking and with aquaintances i fake a smile just to get along. I am not a sociable person, sometimes i need a tail in the crowd. i feel that all eyes were on me and need to perfect every move. If i’m in a new surroundings, its uneasy but with a little acting of “confidence”, i can conquer my fear which is the ability to speak…all these years my mouth is my greatest enemy…

  65. Sofia says:

    I scored 26, but I guess that just confirms what I already knew, I think my family (and some friends) don’t really realize that, but I hate being around people and I’m extremely introverted. And the only type of people I like are the introverts, which is kind of a paradox and makes it awfully hard to meet nice/good/cool people.

  66. Juliet says:

    Dear everyone, i’m so confused, after i did the test seems i’m more introveus ,but actually, i feel myself as years go by, i become more social with new people, before i wasn’t . always shy and can’t make a first step conversation. I still think i’m half and half and that’s what most people know me says. anyway, i guess part of the introvous is because i’m not confident enough, i don’t no why i’m not that confident, i have reasonable good job as a nurse, i’m considered not bad looking woman, and other people would like to make conversations with me but i just feel, i could be not good enough. Strange !!! especially when talking to guys. My friends always says it’s up to you to make more friends and become socialise to creat opportunity of meeting a loving guy, but it’s just so freaking hard for me ! God help me

  67. Nicole says:

    I have definately always thought of myself more of an introvert type, but you know what? I have always been told I was as well. So, the question is- would I be as much of an introvert if I hadn’t been told that I am, as of an early age? In this test, I scored 18- which apparently is a mix of introvert and extrovert. I have really pushed myself to do things I am uncomfortable with and perhaps it has changed my score. Not sure if Mel (person who posted earlier) thinks that an introvert is necessarily more prone to depression? I think we all have lows in life, but I don’t think that introverts have more difficulty fitting in or finding meaning in life. Everything you do can have meaning, if it comes from the heart. But being an introvert does pose some challenges. I am having difficulties with one of my colleagues, who has the same position as I do. Because she is much more bubbly, people tend to talk to her more and she ends up getting more opportunities for career advancement. It is fustrating because her work is not necessarily better and she is not smarter. She is just more flirtatious and everyone seems to like that. I do like her very much. I just wish our work would be evaluated based on the results and not on our personalities.

  68. Mel.. says:

    Wow .. If only everyone understood why your quiet & different instead they just judge you on it, then of course you feel like you don’t belong because your not the same ! I hate it , I hate seeing people happy ! It annoys me because they no their lives are just as terrible… What’s the point in this life ?? Were just born to die were pretty much just wasting our time ? Especially if your not happy ,. I wish someone understood me I feel alone all the time I can’t talk to anyone without freaking them out :/ but what can you do …… Hmmm

  69. Erin says:

    I hate crowds of people, even if it is my friends, it gets to an hour and all i want to do is go home and sleep, i become really irritated and sad, and heaven forbid if the phone rings, i dread answering it, and if the doorbell rings i hide so i dont have to answer it haha, and strangely every night without question i will become really sad/angry/irritated, through the day im fine but in the afternoon and night time im really moody and dont want to talk to anyone, any text i get from a friend irritates me, even if they are just saying what a great day they had, i find it annoying because i want to go but cant because i know i’ll just end up in a mood haha

  70. RJ says:

    my score is 27, i guess i’m really an introvert, i’m nineteen years old and i really want to become a great businessman but meeting clients, closing deals and other form of relational activity gives me such a hard time… i usually think of a plan a great plan, but acting on a specific plan that includes talking make me feels so lazy and awkward… i understand that it is our trait to be like this… but i will not give up, i still want to become a businessman… what should i do???

  71. Chris says:

    I feel like I started life as strong extrovert all the way into my late twenties then started to shift towards being an introvert as I became more aware of the nature of life.

  72. cj says:

    Do you guys think must people on here identified as introverts because they wanted to be so they cheated the test or because introvert personalities tend to take tests like these more?

  73. Paula says:

    I scored a 11, so I guess I am both…no wonder..I feel crazy sometimes! 😀

  74. Jeffrey L Weed Sr says:

    Introvert here.. now i know why i do and feel the way i do.. on so many things.. i scored a 29 .. im a hard core Introvert.. so dont feel alone…

  75. Speed says:

    Congrats to all you fellow introverts out there who are discovering yourselves from this test. But don’t stop there. An acquaintance at work who is also an introvert (I scored 28) put me onto a fascinating book by Susan Cain called “Quiet- The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking”. This is a great book that discusses the results of a lot of scientific research into introversion, it has helped me to understand myself better. (Susan Cain is an introvert, too.) It also talks about the “Extrovert Ideal” as the favored personality type in todays world, and how that came to be so. This book helped me to feel better about my introverted self, and validated a lot of my personal qualities as strengths rather than weaknesses. Yes, we introverts have a lot to contribute! I highly recommend the book, and hope you enjoy it as much as I did. (No, I’m not the author or publisher or even a bookseller.)

  76. Cara says:

    I scored 29 on this test. I find myself assessing situations a lot. Like your first few months on a job or your first few months of talking with a new friend. I want to know as much as possible about another person, before I decide if they get to know me. If I won’t get along with this person, I won’t waste my time.

    Most importantly, I find myself drawn to extroverts and people who have immediate, strong opinions. And I find others drawn to me because I’m a great listener. And because I’m a great listener, they seem to think that I’m more intelligent.

  77. Daniel says:

    Finally I can stop worrying about being shy and liking my own company. I don’t have to put on a fake face. I can now be me. For a while I have been wondering weather or not I am a introvert and it means alot to me that I finally know scoring 24 average on similar test. Although I do have some issues. Like on most sites about introverts say they tend not to talk about meaningless crap. I do but only with my friends and family because my parents are not smart and they like to talk a lot also my best friend is the most extrovert person I know. And he talks all the time so its hard for me not to talk. but the cool thing is, is that he values my philosophical opinions on matter like life, death ect. So yea I love being a introvert. And I don’t have to be extroverted.

  78. floyd says:

    I was looking for article for intervention /extroversion and this was the first to come up.

    I was very shy growing up but changed. I think i’m midway between a introvert and a extravert

    Most of these question point to someone that is mentally ill or has some form of mental retardation. Most of questions are riduculous and silly. where did the writer of that book get these ideas from?

    Some of them are really out there, and dont make much sense

  79. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Kon,

    I disagree – I think introverted people CAN enjoy life very much! I’m an introvert, and |I love my life. I don’t think you should try to change your personality to fit in, or to try to be someone you’re not. It’s a mistake to try to change…instead, you need to accept who you are and enjoy where your personality, lifestyle, and decisions take you.

  80. Kon says:

    I am an introverted person, I always knew that. But I really want to change that. I believe that introverted people don’t really enjoy life, the don’t have many open doors. That’s why I want to change. I know I can. But the question is: Should I?

  81. Britty23 says:

    I always knew I was a bit different. And b4 this test I used to think that I was weird but now I know there are others like me. Feel so much Better!

  82. Mikael says:

    i’v always known i was different. But after reading the post i now realise that i’m not the only ‘different’ person in the world. I found out my response to most of the questions were ‘yes’ which means i must be an introvert. I love to spend most of my time alone. And if i find myself in large crowds i always feel very uncomfortable therefore i dont even try to socialise with anybody there except with my very close friends. I also stumble alot when i have to address a large group of people, and it doesn’t matter if its impromptu or not or if im familiar with the crowd or not. The biggest problem i face with my introverted personality is the inability to speak fluently without stumbling too much. So far i’ve been able to train my self to become more social with acquaintances and even with strangers. Although i’m not too comfortable with some of my attributes like the communication problem i talked about, i stil love the fact that i’m a very creative and also a very sensitive person.

  83. Jerry Springer says:

    Wow, so everyone is freaking out over being an”introvert” get over it…Being an introvert doesnt make you special its what makes you you, so if you need a test to distiguish yourself, then maybe you should take a deeper look. I scored “Introvert” and although most of the traits describe me, being an introvert doesnt make me feel like I discovered more of myself. GET OVER IT INTROVERT’S yor not the minority.

  84. KJ says:

    I am so an intravert scoring yes to all. I knew I was different to most but have been learning to be comfortable with who I am. A few people try to tell me I had a problem but I was kind of sure I didn’t and this confirms it. Thank you so much. I love myself a little more today because of this. TA!!! Never liked team sports. prefer to run, swim, walk on my own. Love gardening. Social events exhaust me and I so need to be alone after. Just love to be on my own at work (accountant) quietly working in my closed off office with little interuption. Never like to give advise unless I have really done my homework and usually tell people I will get back to them. Love using email so that I don’t have to talk and can put all my words in order.

  85. hannah says:

    all this time i am so confused if i’m of both worlds. I score 27 of 29, and i personally think that i am an introvert. i took a personality test and i am 86% introvert..thank u for this, now i feel special..i hav an extrovert best friend, and sometimes she tend to keep quiet when she thinks that the world can’t accept her opinions, and all i could do was gave her a topic and talk and talk even though she doesn’t want to listen.i often lock myself out of the world, share my enthusiasm with only 3 persons, i lov writing than speaking, and decline in an extemporaneous speech..Oh God..my parents are disapointed..they call me a coward..i spend my time doing weird things,like tallying, filling all boxes in a graphing paper..and count my steps…syllabicating fromm 100 to one..it’s awkward..i think i’m crazy..Is this being a part of introverts too..or i am just freaking mental:)?
    P.S. I love music..and do jobs from 12 a.m. at dawn..

  86. Anthony says:

    This test is amazing! It hit the nail right on the head. My score was 28 I agree with all of the other comments left by other people on this site,I find people coming over to my home and staying for long periods of time intrusive and very draining. I have been with my Wife for 18 years and have discussed with her how I need my space, time to think and why I love to read and now I know why. She always tells me that I look into things to deeply and the details that I notice are my imagination. Now I know that I need to show her this test and why (her being an extrovert) she doesnt understand. Thank you so very much!

  87. Manu says:

    I am a pure introvert with 28 true answer. I haven’t any problem with this introverted nature but i think other people have a lot of problems by my introverted nature. Sorry people i can’t do anything for this because nature can’t be changed.

  88. Andrew says:

    I scored 28 / 29, I haven’t really been sure of my own personality until I found out about the idea of introverts in the world around me… by finding this blog and researching on the internet. I’ve always been calm, friendly, but somewhat anti-social, however I can be very talkative and comfortable with the people I trust (close friends, family), but not in big crowds, because that really makes me uncomfortable. I feel that if I am well prepared for a task, I can do my very best and exceed my expectations of myself. I’ve kept thoughts to myself, and conceptualize my own thoughts of the world around me. I feel a constant pressure to fit in with the people I interact daily, and I am very anxious about deadlines and expectations of society. I could never be involved in a fight or anything like that, and hate it when I am ever put on the spot to answer a question in class or complete a task without time to prepare or to respond efficiently… hope other people out there can relate.

  89. Willow Tree says:

    best of both worlds :)

  90. Barry says:

    I’ve scored 25 and i thought i’m the only one who’s introverted in this world. Thank God! I’m not alone! Right now, i’m struggling to be an extrovert like being true to myself just like when i get mad to that person, i confront him in a good way so that there will be no worries anymore about being anxious while looking at him. If you grow up in high school full of shyness, i think the key is FORGETTING THE PAST.. because WHY WOULD YOU BE SHY IF YOU DONE NOTHING WRONG?… weLl .. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!

  91. Calis says:

    I’m an Introvert, have been for as long as I can remember and I positively embrace it now. Seems like a few of you guys are a little embarrassed or unhappy about your introverted status, but I promise you’ll grow to love it too. Theres nothing wrong with being different and people will like you and love you for it because we have unique personalities just like the extro’s but in my opinion better all round ( i dont consider being more caring, thoughtful or creative as a bad trait even if i am a bit quieter than some others ) you just need to understand it doesn’t make you less of a person if you don’t want to party all the time or talk for hours about nothing with people you’d rather not talk to at this present moment and remember its nothing personal its just how we prefer it. It’s not arrogance or disdain it’s just how it should be :) When you understand yourself people will understand you and you’ll love it too.

  92. Emma says:

    I’m an introvert! I got a 22 out of 29. I always kind of felt like one… I went to a new school this year and I’m really shy and I don’t like talking to people really. It’s great to know that other people feel the same discomfort I do when they’re forced to socialize. Thanks so much for the confirmation that I’m an introvert.

  93. brianna says:

    This test really did help me a lot I got 28 out of 1 so I am really a introvert

  94. lin says:

    Everything in this quiz was true, except that I’d rather people not come to my house as I feel my home is a very personal space, only open to my family. Also, I don’t like being introduced. I prefer to introduce and be a sort of invisible so I can observe and listen and not engage in unnecessary talk.

    I have been diagnosed with depression but had stopped my medication because it didn’t seem to be helping. By experience, I feel I am different, abnormal, and often wish I could be like others. But try as I might, I haven’t been able to. I cannot not notice things, or be anything extroverts are.

    I also have all the qualities of Dabrowski’s overexcitabilities, but knowledge of what I am and have does not change my feeling of inadequacy. Everyone around me, at work, school and even among friends and family, have a strange notion that I am highly intelligent and am capable of achieving great things, but I don’t feel that way, and their expectations suffocate me.

    Nevertheless, thank you for this series of questions. It is interesting and gives me food for thought. I hope it helps many others before they are so completely convinced like myself that the difference is intolerable.

  95. simon says:

    i scored 20 and would strongly agree with some questions but completly disagree with others, I do prefere my own company and like being alone although people do seem to like being around me, i do get asked alot to join people socially but mostly decline cos i think most people are full of sh!t and annoying. At work i feel more comfortable with intelligent people but often find these people asking me for help or advise when i feel like they should know more than me. And i find conversations with people very difficult, and when a conversation has finished i think i must sound thick and a should of said this or that.I im the least self consiouse person on the planet and dont realy care about most peoples opinions. I never realy understood why i am different to other people untill i read this, now i know im an introvert and proud of it.

  96. kie says:

    i scored 24 out of 29 and im only 14….i never really payed attention to my personality of being introverted. my mom told me the other night i was very introverted so i decided to look it up and it TOTALLY describes me…im creative,im bery self conscious about my self even though i get told im beautiful everysingle day. i i dnt like to walk in a room full of people and i used to take out a hour pr two in my day to jus sit and think alone.i have only 1 best friend.all me relationships, i feel that it gets too overwhelming. i came from a family full of extroverts and i thought i was too but my grandmother is also a introvert and i believe thats why we have such a good connection. i love for people to come over my house and stay as long as they like and i also notice alot of things that goes pn that nt many ppl notice in their life.i am antisocial. its nt that i cant make new friends, i jus choose not to..i can sit in a room full pf teens and zone out unless im around my friends…i like to party bt i get tired afterwards.people also think im the quiet goody goody girl when i can actually get crazy,i am very shy nomatter who im around..well i thought i should finally get that pff my chest

  97. Devil says:

    I scored 27 and
    I m happy in my own world

  98. tina says:

    I am not alone. I am really an introvert.

  99. Liz says:

    I scored a 27. It’s good to know that Im not “weird”. I always thought that these personality traits meant i was “weird” but they are just traits. And the sooner I can accept it & learn more about it, the better for me.

  100. Sophia says:

    I scored 29…
    I always knew that I was a bit introverted but I didn’t think I was that introverted.

  101. Hiya says:

    I am in the middle zone, most yes in the top ten questions. I don’t agree though that the quiz is accurate, because a ‘yes’ to a lot of questions signifies how clever and sharp you are. And if being that puts in the introvert zone, then I am glad to be one. I spend a lot of time with myself when I see my surroundings are not what Id rather expect. But then , I am the happiest being the center of attention and stealing the show when I feel this is my time, and am on to capture what is righteously mine.

  102. Murali says:

    for me all the answers are true….
    is this normal?
    because I’m always lonely and I feel like I can even vanish in plain sight in a large group of people………

  103. Ursula says:

    After taking the quiz and reading almost everyones response I too am very relieved that I am not alone and not weird as most commented cause thats how I feel and ask myself daily in my mind. Just yesterday I told I dad I don’t know why, but I have to sleep for 10 hours daily then I feel ready for the day and I don’t know why, that so strange. My dad said I am not active enough then I told him, but its not that even when I was at University I had a very busy schedule and I walked to and from campus 30 min everyday and I still need to sleep an extra 2 hours in the afternoon after my 8 hours of sleep. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years just like that and didnt understand why I just knew I had to and that I needed time to find myself he didnt even do nothing. This was the case for all my other boyfriends, but this i\one I realy and I went to see a psychologist and psychiatrist and realised that I have social phobia dot me on meds and did some behaviour therapy, I was always unsure if I should class myself as a introvert or extrovert as I am always the one that keeps a party life and I love to dance, but I dont like to go to parties consecutively like if I went last night I would not be able to go tomorrow or next week again then I would wait a long time never looks at it that I need to recharge socially. I get drained very quickly even with my own family. I like to hang out with myself sometimes I think to myself that I am so weird for going out alone, my friend always has someone with her and she almost always has friend over at her place then thay stay long now I actually understand that she is extroverted. I am moved by humanity and I describe myself as a deeply spiritual person in the sense that I sometimes feels as if I am in a higher demension/ plane than others around me. I dont get much friend over at my house as I am always akward I taught is was my phobia, but when my best frine come over I don’t like it when she stays long I taught I was abad frined for thinking and wanting this. And she on the other hand probably sense it as she always go home early or she will just stay a while and I taught on the other hand that she was rude as when I am at her place I always stayed till midnite as she wanted me to. I am so greatful that I took this test I am definately going to buy myself that book how to thrive in an introvert world. And I’m not going to say I have social phobia- I’m just an introvert and its not a weakness its just a different personallty. I would lik eto become a psychologist applied for my honours next year. Asa everybody here is introverted is this career normal for introverted people? I wonder how a social gathering with just introverted personallity types will go :) Oh and I scored 26 on the test

  104. Rob says:

    This morning has been a revelation, as I’ve discovered I’m an introvert. I’ve never understood this part of myself and just thought I was weird.

    I’ve broken up relationships because I’ve never understood why I found them so overwhelming, although enjoyable in many ways.

    Ultimately though, I couldn’t cope with the lack of ‘space’ and the need to be with my own thoughts.

    I enjoy going out, have a great time and am great company, but only when I know I can come back and ‘recharge’. An ex of mine used to partially get it, she would ask if I was ‘socialled out’ even after an afternoon with people, and she would leave me to it.

    It’s encouraging to know there are people out there like me, and I suppose that like it or not, I’m an introvert.

    I’m very relieved this morning though. It explains so much and I’ll stop telling people I’m weird, and tell them I’m an introvert instead.

    Thanks for this article, my search is finally over, and I now know who (or what) I am and the reasons behind it.

    I scored 23 in the test by the way.

  105. Dinah says:

    I’m an introvert apparently. 24 true. I always thought I was just too shy and selfconcious….
    I don’t like to be the center of attention but I do like it when people show appreciation of my work (I’m an artist). I’m not too talkative unless it’s something I’m interested in and I stink at small talk… Most of the time I end up feeling awkward because every one but me has something to say. /: I NEVER volunteer to go first for a class critique and always have a major adrenaline rush and blush big time if I have to talk in front of a group of people, sometimes even if I’m only THINKING about saying something. Glad to know I’m not just some freak of nature out there feeling awkward all by myself. /:)

  106. Fi says:

    I scored 29. Yeah, I’m up there. A couple of questions I was abmivalent about, and no. 24 – I DON’T like people to come to my house at all.

  107. Monica says:

    All my life I have thought that I was an extrovert because I am always smiling,can start up a sensitive or chirpy conversation with all that I meet, but probably talking more than listening. I’ve always loved going out and meeting friends old and new and always seem very popular…. BUT I never understood why I dread making a phone call, why I often feel shy and nervous in the company of people that I’ve won the hearts of, why when someone really likes me I feel stifled by their affections or attention. I notice anyone’s pain, sadness or anguish and feel it emotionally too, people always think that I am better or cleverer than I am, and my mind goes blank and my heart burns when someone is listening to me intently. I only realised I was an introvert when I was reading an article and I was shocked but somehow pleased and relieved. I could now allow myself to stay in the background or not feel guilty about the amount of time that I need alone. I understand now why I never watch TV if I am alone, my thoughts are far more interesting to me. When I told my son that I had discovered that I was an introvert, his initial reaction was NO, because I seem such an outgoing, always friendly and warm to all that I meet,then he thought for a time and nodded. I was just searching the net to find out more about myself when I came across this quiz, I scored 25. This is a revalation to me and I feel liberated to understand what I thought was weaknesses (dread making a phone call etc)is my personality and I can now cut myself some slack, and allow myself to be myself. Thank you so much for this.

  108. stephanie says:

    i have always just thought i was shy and quiet around other people. not knowing what to say when im asked a simple random question about something. i feel like my mind goes blank but afterword when the subject has changed, i think of exactly what i should of said. i dont like calling people or answering the phone, ill txt instead. new places with a lot of people make me feel weird (like a club) and like everyones watching me. ill go to a hole in the wall bar instead. i get confused when im making conversation with people, i know what i want to say but it does not come out clear. makes me sound like im making it up or lying but im not. thank you for this quiz! im going to read more on this subject but it does make me feel better knowing im just not ‘shy’

  109. Marie says:

    I have been taking a lot of Introvert and Extrovert personality quizzes and they all give me the same result: Introvert. On this small quiz you designed, I scored a 27 out of 29. Thanks to people like you who take the time to publish these types of quizzes/tests, I have been able to realize what kind of person I am. My mom has always told me: “Go out more!” “Talk to those people!” “Make more friends!” But that was just not me and the more I tried to be “outgoing” and “talkative” the more I would fail. In result, I would become more depressed which made me feel like a strange character and completely out of place. Now I know its just who I am and I’m not the only one. Thank you! 😀 <3

  110. KokoroComplex says:

    Ambivert :)

  111. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m definitely an introvert – and I love that every time I take a test for introverted personality traits, I get more confirmation that I’m an introvert!

    Did you know your personality traits affect your exercise habits (and the amount of weight you lose)?

    Exercise Tips for Extroverts, Introverts, and Neurotics

    Introverts are happier exercising alone.

  112. Danee says:

    i scored 19, and, yeah really, I like to dance, I just a lil bit scared of new places, new faces, but I also like to show off sometimes, and playing the crazy

  113. Abhishek says:

    Well scored all 29, point #23 was really a surprise for me too.

  114. Susan says:

    Truely an introvert, now 50 years of age and so agree with others comments! Battled to be one of the crowd, put on a face at social events and hate going to weddings, parties, work do`s, anywhere that I have to make conversation and be around loud extroverts, find them exhausting and irritating. Recently returned to university and how difficult it is to speak out, mouth goes dry and I clam up. Yet as a nurse I appear confident and outgoing to my patients? Love texting and e mails as can think before I speak! Get exhausted going to family gatherings and oh yes…like people to stay or come over but look forward to them leaving! No, am not going to change now. Just accept I am who I am and if people think I am aloof or quiet thats their problem. Thank you for saying alone time is part of being an introvert. By the way scored 25 out of 29.

  115. M says:

    i always get so drained from being around people when i get home from college i have to sleep. sometimes as soon as i get in. it is good to know other people have these same feelings and have learnt to deal with them in their own way. i love studying media and im about halfway through studying it, but i find it soo hard because i get soo tired all the time from being around everyone and when that happens i feel extremely uncommtable. but this page has made me feel a little better about it, thanks!

  116. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I love hearing from fellow introverts – thank you for sharing your scores on this introverted personality test! It makes me feel not so alone, to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t like returning phone calls or making small talk at parties :-)

  117. Joan says:

    I just wanted to share: I scored a 14 so I am introverted/extroverted I guess in the middle. I have always considered myself extroverted but as I am aging (now 51 yrs. old) I feel my traits are weighing on the introverted side, where I answered true on some questions, at an earlier age I would have answered false.. Is this the way it goes as you age you get more introverted? Just wondering….

    Also how I came to this sight I was talking to someone on line and I don’t know my conversations with them were like not proper endings, like we would be talking then the conversation would end with no goodbye then the next day it would be like hello and I’m like hello what happened to you where did you go yesterday. Anyway I was told that I seemed impatient And they said I needed to learn what introverted was assuming he was just shy, but I really had no idea what the extent of the definition of introverted was. I sent him a message and apologized I then felt very pushy!!! But anyway I took the test myself out of curiosity and scored in the middle just wanted to share……….

  118. CftxP says:

    Scoring a 25, I’m definitely a true introvert, I’m computer social rather than tangible social and mostly an intellectual. I believe that, in terms of interests, I’m at least the sense of “normal”, or could be, it’s just this darned social awkwardness that hinders a lot of details about myself and a lot of good things that I can bring out to the world. I’ll find a way, and I will have to, to become at least socially less awkward, being a senior and all, I can’t keep myself introverted at a college campus can I? (I don’t think it’ll work out well)

    Wish me luck, I’ll always embrace my introvert, it’s who I am, but I’ll also learn to be somewhat social, there’s no excuse when it’s no handicap, right?

  119. BooJo says:

    I scored a 23. I’m 45 yrs old and still learning about me! I have out-going extrovert siblings and always thought I didn’t measure up to them socially. They still don’t understand my, “I can only be around people for so long before I need quiet” moments, but now I know it’s not a bad thing and I can embrace being “me”. Oh, and I DO HATE returning phone calls…and talking on the phone in general.

  120. EricaP says:

    I always thought I’m an ”alien” in my class. Especially when I was young, I was alone, quiet, and mostly listening to people than talking with them. Now I know, that I’m normal, only that I have different personality traits.
    Now I’m in high school, (Juniors to be exact) I’m on a class that is 98% extroverts, 2% introverts (me included). Even most of my close friends are extroverts. I found myself creative, and always zoned-out (which some of my old classmates in elementary refer me as an ‘always imagining’ girl).
    Thanks to this, now I’ll tell them why I don’t speak, wanted to be alone and, it takes me ‘too long’ (that’s what they say. Not my fault.) to answer their questions to which I found ‘irritating’.
    Anyway, I scored 28/29.

  121. Elise says:

    The explanation of introvert was both affirming and confirmng for me.
    Affirming my self worth and confirming I’m normal. The article explained why I feel like an extraterrestrial. I didn’t know that the majority of personalities lean more towards the extroverts in our society. But I am proud of being an introvert as I often find SOME extroverts to be obnoxious and shallow. With that said, I have to admit some of my extroverted friends have unknowingly rescued me from being completely swallowed up in social situations. I have to go now as I have to reflect on what I’ve written….LOL

  122. John Wright says:

    26/29
    “23. I often dread returning phone calls.”

    Wow! I’ve known for a while now that I am an introvert, but I never thought my reluctance to return phone calls was part of being an introvert. I was beating myself up pretty badly, but now I’ll learn to work around that particular aspect of myself. Thank you for a very enlightening article.

    I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve added your link to my “bag”: We Don’t Follow the Crowd – http://bagtheweb.com/b/jJRtcw/

    Please feel free to suggest any links/articles for inclusion.

    Regards,
    John

  123. widar says:

    29/29

    all my life i have felt like i dident belong in this society. I have realy felt wierd and uncomfortable in every sosial event i have been to. putting on the mask and thinking about whats wrong with me for not enjoying this like everyone else. “the stop and talk” witch i normaly try to avoyd.

    being unnormaly tiered after being around other people or events. my isolation and get sucked into a subject i find interesting at the time.
    my mind analysing every thing

    i realy had no idea about how big of an difference there realy was between an introvert and a extrovert person.

    i have resently been trough a tough time, and tonight i remember my sister asking me if i maybe was an introverted person the other night. i cant sleep and been googling the subject the whole night, just to be sure i guess (lol)

    the common conception of an introverted person here i live (norway) is being shy and not so sosial. this night for me have been mindblowing, and i cant thank you enofh for talking about this subject.

    at the age of 26 this make so much more sence now, again thank you!

  124. k.k.kaka says:

    your test confirmed my being introvert

  125. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comments – I love hearing from introverts! It’s like we feel so weird and different until we know that our personality traits are just different than most peoples. There are more extroverts in the world than introverts, and extroversion seems more valued in our society.

    But I like being an introvert :-)

  126. Lorrainne says:

    Thank you for the test. I scored a 28 out of 29, the only false answer I had was the one on lasting relationships. I am fifty years old. I have five family members, and have had one friend for thirty years. I have always felt like there was something wrong with me because I never get lonely. From day one. My mother said I was a very happy baby, until she would try to show me to someone, and I would scream. She said I never wanted to leave my playpen, would sit in there for hours just playing quietly. My whole life I’ve been happiest being by myself, which turned out to wreak havoc on my marriages lol. Your test made me realize that I may be more ‘normal’ than I thought. Some of the questions made me laugh and laugh, they were so me.

  127. Dpk says:

    i scored 29…
    and yup i’m a introvert, i dont want to be!
    is there anyone who could help…

  128. Sarah says:

    Gosh just about reading this site with tears in my eyes. I have always known I am introverted, and it has definitely made for a bumpy ride, especially in job and social settings. I’m the weird one who doesn’t mind doing the filing out the back – just don’t put me on reception! Don’t like being around too many extroverted people – they just exhaust me with their archaic, loud lives. I like things to be ordered and peaceful. Being pregnant was interesting because everyone (strangers included) had something to say to you.

    I don’t feel like I’ve ever been quite accepted by my parents for just “being me” and that has made me sad and perhaps exacerbated things.

    Gosh I like people round to my house, but yet I don’t like them to stay all day – gosh that was like reading a description of myself. Should have seen me when husband’s extended family came to stay for a week – all four loud extroverts. Didn’t cope very well. I’m 36 and looking to learn more about myself and hopefully make introversion work for me – I really do feel like a square peg in a round hole sometimes!

  129. Sara says:

    Thank you so much for taking the time post this test. I really appreciate it. I have never been able to explain my introvertedness, and reading the posts makes me feel like I am not the only one in the world. I am sometimes drained in social situations, and there are many times where people have seen me as rude. As an introvert, it is not my intention to be rude, I just cannot function well in all social situations.

  130. q says:

    I’m an introvert pretending to be an extrovert so I appear normal in society and can go on with my life. I practice how to laugh, smile and talk in front of a mirror at home.

  131. Esther says:

    Just stumbled accross this site..and so glad I did! I scored 23 and can relate to bits of what others have said. I have always felt misunderstood and I truely believe that extroverts and introverts just don’t get eachother which is so sad.
    I too am confusing for the extroverts I meet. I have heaps of confidence in the areas that I know I am good at, including training or teaching classes and I love to hold small dinner parties or even bigger events etc (at my house only) and on those occassions I can appear quite outgoing but then at other times, just the thought of picking my children up from school and having to make small talk fills me with dread! I’m sure these mixed messages leave people baffled and thinking that I am just rude or grumpy. Honestly, I think it would be easier to just be straight out shy. My daughter is exactally the same as me and at 8 I am starting to see the signs as she frequently feels socially uncomfortable and struggles in a world that appears to be filled with extroverts. So even though I am gradually coming to terms with how I am I now worry for my daughter because boy it can be a bumpy ride…..

  132. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comments – I’m glad this test for introverted personality traits was helpful!

    Yes, Nurul, an introvert can occasionally be extroverted. Definitely!

  133. mrstoicpants says:

    All of the people here are obviously introverts that use google to search for Introvert tests. And all of them know exactly what will be the outcome…

    Well that includes me.

  134. nurul says:

    can introvert person be extrovert occassionally?

  135. Rin says:

    Hello! I have to thank you for this, truly. I scored a 27/29, and learned a great deal more about what an ‘introvert’ actually was. Before, I was kind of embarressed about my bahaviour, but now that I know more about it, it doesn’t seem such a terrible thing. ^^ (even though I still wish I was more in the social side lol) Thanks again!

  136. Michael Montana says:

    Laurie, I ‘m not sure if you are keeping up with this post any longer but if so first let me say THANK YOU!! I’m closing in on my mid 50’s now and this experience has been an eye opener. While I have always thought myself too be an introvert in the vaguest of terms “loner” I have never realized the full capacity of it’s true definition.
    There was a time that so many things in my life just didn’t fit. Not that I was or even acted odd, just that I felt there was more and everything that others enjoyed and focused on seemed unimportant and in my mind swirled the question, why?.. Not that I felt or acted special but I just felt as though something was different. I had a very hard time learning in school and everything always felt like a run away train, too much too fast and will somebody please get me out of here. Consequently I made straight F’s in school with the exception of A’s in music and P.E.. I found that if I had an interest in something and it was a hands on situation I excelled. I also found that I was exceptionally creative . It seems as though everything I looked at I wanted to change. I always thought of a 100 different ways it should have been created to make it better and found that I thought outside the box and also found I had an uncanny ability to read people and had solutions to problems and an introspect that would lead me to be quite the philosopher that others seem to call upon and a desire to lead with purpose but did not like being around people in volume. In my mid 30’s everything that I thought had eluded me in school came flooding out, I didn’t have to study it, It was just there, diction, vocabulary, spelling ,math etc.. When confronted with what would have been a frightening experience of a class room atmosphere again when acquiring my real estate license I actually was able to comprehend the material and passed the test only missing 1 question. I also came to realize that I go through parts of my life on what I call automatic pilot. If I went on a trip to Disney World I couldn’t remember anything about it, it was a total blank as though I had never been. This would apply to most any meaningless activity or period of time in general. When I reached my 40’s I had an in depth conversation with a friend and revealed things that I have never shared with anyone. At the end of our conversation she looked at me and asked if I had ever heard of Indigo children and without a definition left me to research it.
    Upon doing so I realized I had found a piece of my puzzled life and it actually brought me tears and for about an 20 minuets I was totally lost. I couldn’t think straight couldn’t focus on anything had these body rushes, chill bumps the works. After reading the definition of introvert and taking the test I had about the same experience. It has answered so many question. In conclusion I have come too realize I am an introverted Indigo.. and I think … what a mess!! LOL I do want to thank you again and tell you how glad I am that I ran across your work!! Thanks again, Michael Montana

  137. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for sharing your scores from this introverted personality test! I love hearing how different people score.

    Introversion is definitely NOT something to be ashamed of — it’s just the best type of personality on the planet :-)

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  138. Jenie says:

    I scored 26 😀

  139. Tate says:

    I recieved a 28 out of 29. And I must say, even as I write this I’m attempting to figure out a way to phrase my words with out sounding silly or stupid. I find that school is difficult and stressing, seeing as almost every student is an extrovert and even the majority of my friends are extroverts. Even the person I’m dating is an extrovert! I’ve just recently looked into the world of introverts, before I only thought I was a shy, awkward, wall flower of a person. And that is how my family portrayed me. But now I’ve come to see, it’s just a personality trait and not something to be ashamed of.

  140. Sally says:

    I scored 29 out of 29 :( I dont think this is a good thing. No wonder am different…..

  141. Mahesh Ighe says:

    i scored 26…i am the most shy person in my college..,some girls stare me but they have no dare to talk as i m tall n fair too in shape..my frnds telling me tht i dont use my specialities over girls…..n this sucks…

    but now i’ve learned to enjoy and to get the benefit my introvertness…

  142. Eli says:

    Hello,Im 19 but really I dont khonw whats my personaity type and I think this kind of test cant help me please help me.

  143. Dants says:

    I think I just recently became a stronger introvert when my mother passed away. Before I could connect with people go hang out with friends even though I felt uneasy I would mkae myself do it. Now its like I have totally shut down I only do things with my family. I get invited to places by friends but I don’t go , in my mind I want to go but being in a social situation with people I don;t know make me uncomfortable. Heck being in a situation with people I know makes me that way too. I think my funny acting like the old folks say has rubbed off on my son he hangs around to watch me or do things with me when he should be out doing things that people do in thier 20’s. At work I can hold a conversation but some people just get on my nerves when they are all over everywhere trying to impress the boss. I tend to put things off until the last minute if I don’t want to deal with it.

  144. Meh says:

    Get a P.E.T scan to be absolutely sure :)

  145. Lizzy says:

    I think I am inbetween, but lean more towards the introvert side. I enjoy people’s company and hate being alone. But I also hate being centre of attention, and I dread my birthday etc. I don’t feel like I have many friends, just a lot of acquantainces and I tend to wait around for my friends to ask me to hang out rather than the other way round (even my closest friends). I don’t really have much to say for myself and prefer to listen. Also, I’m at uni at the moment and find that if I haven’t seen my best friend for a while I worry about seeing her in case we have nothing to talk about.

    However, I find that my closest friends tend to be extroverts. I think its because they love to have someone to listen to them, and I in turn love to listen. Also they make friends easily and so fulfil my desire for people’s company but also my dislike of ‘making the first move’.

    I’ve learnt in the past year that the best way to seem extroverted in social situations is by showing off your best introverted skill – listening. Whenever my housemates have friends over, I always seem to be the one (out of the four) they speak highly of. I just ask them lots of questions and listen and then remember what they said so that, if I see them again, I can ask them more about it. There was once a time when I’d worry about what to say and so wouldn’t say anything but now just a simple “what you up to this weekend” gets the ball going and people tend to say I am friendly and easy to get on with. On the other hand, I find it hard to make really good friends that goes beyond small talk and I feel like very few people actually know me.

    By the way I scored 18/29.

  146. bem says:

    I am a true introvert. I am also shy and quite. I think even the one who scores 29 out of 29 has a good friend. a good friend that he/she can hang out with, spend time with, and share with. But, i don’t have any good friend. I am the loneliest person. I am helpless too. Drained in the self-help world…..

  147. Eliade says:

    Hello (I Just found out this page about today)
    I got 22 score from above test, however there’s a few questions needs to be more specific I think, and there’s something I want to ask too.

    #Question:
    1. Your point of view might be come from general salary-man or people who works for other’s, but for me as a Independent businessman I don’t really have much project to do. Also I like to do small chunks job in batch (if they are not critical), which I think it’s impossible to do if you working in company.
    10. It really bother’s me a lot, do you know why?what cause it?
    12. In my case usually I already know what activity should I join even without to observe. Because I only do activity that I enjoy/need. So if there’s something bother/disturb/I don’t like I end up bear with it until I can’t no longer hold it.
    18. My mind is freaking me out sometimes, Yes I think I am creative and imaginative, however my answer is No since I don’t really have ability to make it come true.
    24. How long is too long?

    Thank You Mam & Have a Good Day.

  148. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Jennifer ~ People say the same thing about me – even my own husband! I’m an introvert, but everyone thinks I’m an extrovert because I seem so comfortable talking to people. But, after a couple of hours with peeps, I’m done. I want to be alone!

    Cassandra ~ Yes, your photo-epilepsy does put you in a whole different category of introverts. I’m glad you have three close friends, though. I heard a quotation that said that if we have three good friends, that’s all we need. I have two close friends…I’m almost there!

    Renee ~ I’m not good when huge projects are due, either. And I don’t like to talk to groups of people, even though I was a teacher for three years.

    Thanks for your comments; it’s great hearing from other introverts.

  149. Renee says:

    I got a 23 but I don’t think I’m a ful introvert I have close friends but I got over talking infeint of people but
    Other things in front of people frightens me. I do most things alone I freak if there’s a huge project due
    But I do it quietly idk

  150. Cassandra Nelson says:

    Hi. I am most certainly a true introvert. I am by far the shiest person I know and I have pretty bad social phobia. I have 3 close friends and all the rest are acquaintances. I scored 27 out of the possible 29. One major thing with me that is different is that I have a rare form of epilepsy (photosensitive) that gets in the way of me socializing more. I get “light-sick” and have seizures in public sometimes and that’s really embarrassing, but I cope. I don’t mind being an introvert because it has its advantages! I live “alone” with 2 cats to keep me company and I hate having anyone over to my place. Hardly anyone I know ever understands why I’m always drained, either.

  151. Jennifer says:

    Thanks for this little quiz! I scored a 25 on it, although it’s probably more like a 26 because of question #24. I don’t want people to come into my home AT ALL, so I answered False on it. LOL. Probably just a misleading question (no offense).

    I always find it hilarious that people don’t believe me when I say that I am an introvert. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination shy, nor am I afraid to speak in public (but I do practice A LOT). And I WILL engage with people when I have to. But, I don’t let too many people close to me, and I prefer the company of myself or only a select few.

    Personally, I don’t think of being an introvert as a bad thing at all. I know there are some who wish they were more extroverted, but I’m perfectly okay just being Jennifer…with all my eccentricities. 😀

    @ EmilieRose: I don’t think you give yourself enough credit for your intelligence. It is obvious to me, by the way you write, and your spelling and grammar usage, that you are, in no way, a possessor of “less than average intelligence.”

  152. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Jeannine,

    You sound like a perfect introvert! :-) It sounds like you know yourself well, and that’s great. The best thing is to accept yourself for who you are, no matter how much or little introverted you are.

    And your comments spurred me to write an article for introverts who aren’t into visitors:

    Enjoying House Guests When You’d Rather They Stay at an Hotel

    Be well,
    Laurie

  153. Jeannine says:

    Oh my gosh-I scored a 28 ! I am an introvert as I suspected. I hate going to showers, weddings, parties and any social situation where I will be meeting new people-I find it exhausting trying to make conversation & eventually just give up & shut down counting the minutes until I can go home. My husband & I went away to get married alone because I couldn’t handle being the center of attention. It sometimes takes me days to make important phone calls. Every day feels like a struggle to me & it seems to take me a long time to do things. I really hate change. At work I often go blank & don’t know what to say especially when put on the spot. After a long day I feel the need to come home & just have quiet time before I can even eat dinner. I have always felt a little different from my friends-the few that I have-& always seem to like totally different music & tv shows than them-(but I don’t care). I am very sensitive to touch, loud noises & strong smells. I avoid confrontation, I like to daydream a lot, I am extremely claustrophobic. I am so stressed every year doing Thanksgiving & Christmas dinner & I hate overnight house guests ! I am so glad to hear there are other people like me !!!

  154. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi EmilieRose,

    I agree – it’d be nice to be in the middle of the introvert-extrovert scale. I’m definitely more introverted; I find people exhausting.

    There may be a difference between not being able to open up completely in relationships, versus being introverted. Introverts can share who they are…they just find it tiring to be with lots of people. They need time alone.

    Not wanting to open up completely, even in close relationships, seems to me to be a bit more about fear of intimacy than introverted personality traits.

    Of course, I could be wrong — it’s just my 2 cents! :-)

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  155. EmilieRose says:

    I scored a 23 out of 29 on this… I’m not a complete introvert, but I always have been pretty introverted. I’m also incredibly shy, so it’s pretty hard for me to make friends. There are maybe 2 or 3 people that I consider friends (the rest are acquaintances), and who I can talk about most things with… Although I can never open up to people completely, which makes it a bit difficult to be in a relationship. Also, people think I’m smart, but it’s just because I’m quiet… I’m actually probably a bit below average intelligence! Anyway, I guess I’m okay with being introverted, but there are definitely aspects of extravertedness that would also be nice to have. I think it would be better to be in the middle spectrum, that would be a nice balance. :)

  156. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comment, Paula. It would be difficult to work in an office of extroverts, that’s for sure. Sometimes I find it draining to be around one extroverted person – much less a group!

    But, the good thing is that you know your personality traits. You’re not weird; you’re an introvert :-)

  157. Paula says:

    I have been an introvert since I came into this world. My teenage years were hard as are most people’s. I recently connected with a friend from high school (31 years ago)and she told me that she always thought I was a hard person to get to know back then, which floored me cause I never saw myself that way. I am now 50 years old and recently got a job in an office with 98% extroverts. Of course there is trouble because no one seems to understand me, I consider none of them close friends but more aquaintances, some even think there is something wrong with me cause because I find their outgoing personalities and activities exhausting and they don’t understand my desperate need for alone time to re-energize myself. They think I am snobby, LOL, which is so far from the truth! Anyway, I may print this up and take it in my office for all to read and maybe that will give them some understanding of how my brain works. I scored a 28 on this test.

  158. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comments…I love hearing from introverts who know they’re introverted (whether they took the test or not) and who are happy :-)

  159. Rose says:

    Loved your post. I’m kind of in between being extrovert and introvert. I’m mostly an extrovert I think.

    How Well Do You Know Yourself?

    This test aims at discovering how well you know yourself.
    http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/selfawareness/selfawareness_instructions.asp

  160. Muffy says:

    I am absolutely and Introvert and have no probem with it at all. Over the years I have struggled to try and fit in with the “extroverts” only to find that I am fine just the way I am. Most extroverts are accepting of it and if they are not, who cares.

    My life will go on as long as I live right and do the right things, I don’t feel ike I have to change my way of life to please others. By the way I got 25 out of the score of 29.

    As many have said, it is that balance that makes all of the difference in how well you handle it…..loving my life!

  161. RazorCandy says:

    I tend to bounce around between the three ranges provided and my mood varies accordingly from day to day, even moment to moment. One minute I’m an flamboyant extrovert, the next, a severe introvert. Here I am destroying the boundaries of the box; its tiring.

  162. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comments – it’s great to hear from my fellow introverts! :-)

  163. Tevin Coleman says:

    I am both an introvert and extrovert. I enjoy being by myself, but I can entertain anyone I meet. Social activites made me tired and I don’t have many close friends. I very creative and I don’t have with deadlines.

  164. Beatrice says:

    I scored 9 but actually should have been a 9.5 :) So I am an extrovert tending to introvert. Very interesting.

  165. Joe says:

    I got a score of 19, which makes me introverted and extroverted. I think I’m more the former. I like to sing and play the piano in public, doing my own compositions, which goes down well. I also like to spend a lot of time on my own. I’m a mathematician, an occupation which involves spending a lot of time on one’s own.

  166. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi ABC,

    That’s interesting that you react to people who are emotionally attached to you by getting irritated. I don’t know if it has anything to do with being introverted, but I definitely know that we treat our loved ones worse than anyone else!

    That is, we’re more likely to be short-tempered and rude to people we love, versus strangers or coworkers. I think it has something to do with the familiarity aspect, the closeness we feel. It’s kind of ironic that we don’t treat our loved ones with kid gloves, but it seems to be standard.

    I’m not sure if this helps you; it’s just my thoughts!

  167. ABC says:

    Reading this book helped me a lot in understanding myself to a great extent. But one thing I would like to ask is that I enjoy being with people and talking around. I talk more and listen more.I am into sales and I do not get exhausted by attending to clients or when i am with my friends enjoying a social life. But it becomes very difficult for me to talk to people who are emotionally attached to me. Why is it so?. I get irritated fast when such people are around. Help me in finding a solution

  168. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comments; it’s always great to hear from introverts :-)

  169. MsLaurie says:

    You know me being an Introvert isn’t a bad thing, it takes all kind to make this place we call a world-home! I don’t quite understand why people feel you have to accept them as they are but they have to make you over….not my cup of tea!! But now that I have read this article I can use this knowledge to become more comfortable with myself…THANKS!

  170. LS says:

    It is sad that some of the posters on here take being Introverted as some sort of flaw. It’s not, once you accept your true nature. Actually I am a borderline Extrovert/Introvert according to Myers Briggs testing. As I get a older I tend to embrace my introverted side more and more.

    A gift of being introverted is that you can be quite independent. Introverts have a better time I think balancing their time spent with others vs time spent alone. Extroverts at times appear to be at the mercy of needing an audience or needing to be with others. I know quite a few who really seem to be at a loss if they have to spend any time alone. Which mystifies me, because I look forward to alone time, I need it if I go to long without it.

    Also if you embrace being an introvert, you start to take pride in being a thoughtful, deliberate person, who isn’t subject to whatever whim is on the horizon.

    Know and feel good about who you are Introverts ;>!!!

  171. Marcus from Laughing at the Sky says:

    I think you made a typing error on number 27.

    You wrote:
    I don’t’ think of casual friends as acquaintances.

    But I think it should be:
    I don’t think of casual acquaintances as friends.

  172. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello Vishalini,

    As I said, the original source for this test for introverted personality traits is stated in the above article. There’s no link; it’s the book itself that is the source.

  173. vishalini says:

    hi, thank you for the reply… could you please send me the link to the original source of the test.hope to hear from you soon.

  174. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello vishalini,

    Yes, you can use this test for introverted personality traits in your study, but remember that this is not the original source of the test. The source is cited in the article; it may be better (more accurate) to find the original test for introversion, and use that one.

    Cheers,
    Laurie

  175. vishalini says:

    hi….my college mates and I are doing study on extroverts and introverts and we require questionnaires for our research, we were wondering if we could use your questionnaire in our study. if its possible could you please notify us as soon as possible
    thank you
    vishalini

  176. introverted who wants to be extroverted says:

    By the way, ive just ordered your book on amazon. Cant wait to read it. Thanks

  177. introverted who wants to be extroverted says:

    Hi Laurie,

    Thanks for the quick reply. Your reply is conforting. Its really weird though. I once made an effort to be extroverted thinking it would be good for me. It lasted for 4 years, it might be weird to say this, but i kind of felt normal, i felt it was the right thing to do, i felt it was the normal thing, fitting into society, getting ahead. I also have to say though it was terribly exhausting physically and mentally. And then suddenly one day i gave up and went back to my usual self. Now i guess im back at square one. I feel being introverted isnt right, isnt natural even though i feel more relaxed in someways. Mmmhh.. I don’t know really what to think anymore… I guess im confused. Maybe i have a problem, i don’t know…

    Thanks again, this place is great to read peoples opinions and give your own.

  178. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello fellow introvert,

    While I don’t think it’s BAD for you to want to be introverted — and indeed, extroverts may have it easier — I do think we all need to accept ourselves for who we are.

    You are an introvert. If you struggle to be something different, your life will be just that: a constant struggle.

    Instead of trying to be what you’re not, I encourage you to learn how introverted personality traits can be beneficial and rewarding! And, surround yourself with introverts who are happy with themselves.

    I love being an introvert — I used to think I was wrong and different. But I’ve realized that I am who I am, and in order to be happy, I need to accept who I am.

    There’s nothing wrong with being introverted. Another key to being happy as an introvert is to read books about introverts, such as the one I featured at the top of this article.

    I hope this helps, and hope that you find happiness and acceptance in your personality traits. It’s a process that takes time, but it’s worth it!

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  179. introverted who wants to be extroverted says:

    Hi, thank you for the posts i find them really interesting.

    I was just curious as to your thoughts or anyone elses…
    I scored 27, i have always been introverted and so my answer to most questions has been ‘true’.
    I am 32 and my thought for most of my life is that it is bad/difficult/not easy in todays society to be introverted. I have answered true to practically every question, but i always wished that the answer for most of the questions was false. Is it bad to think that way. Its just i have always thought life is much easier for extroverted people. I would love you to comment on this please. I think its been the issue of my life.

    Thank you

  180. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hello Shirley,

    Thanks for your comments on this test for introverted personality traits! I agree, that finding the best career path does hinge on figuring out if you’re an introvert or extrovert…and knowing how to recognize the signs of introversion can help you find the right career.

  181. Shirley E. says:

    Great website! I think there are many valuable information and advices here. Along the same line, I came across the following website which I found interesting. Traditionally, personality tests such as MBTI have been used as career aptitude test. However, these tests have a very limited scope as they ignore many important factors such as person’s skills, values, and interests.

    There have been many advancements in the area of career aptitude testing. Usage of artificial intelligence to evaluate suitability of a job for a person is one of the these techniques. You can take a complete version of the MBTI personality test plus many others such as memory, IQ, problem solving, and patience tests in OptYourLife. This website’s expert system tries to find the most suitable career path for you using neural network. Moreover, salary of different careers will be considered in the final analysis to provide a more insightful advice for you:

  182. Introvert says:

    Dear Ma’m,
    I read the article you specified. And, yes, I agree that I need a counselor who will help me in making me normal. But first, I’ll have to convince my parents, because they won’t agree to it. Besides, I don’t know how to explain them what my problems are…

    Anyways, you have been very helpful.
    Thanks a lot… :-)

  183. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Introvert,

    I’m sorry to hear that your introverted personality traits are holding you back! Being an introvert can be wonderful — unless of course it negatively impacts your relationships, career, and life goals.

    Here’s an article I wrote for introverts who are struggling with their personalities:

    The Unhappy Introvert – When Personality Traits Cause Problems

    I hope it helps.

    You may need to talk to a counselor or join a support group for shy people. I really think the best way to turn introverted personality traits into something positive and fulfilling is to practice with people who know what they’re doing. That is, a counselor or support group leader who can help you learn how to make conversation and accept who you are as a person.

    Also, finding the roots of your shyness and social awkwardness may help…it just depends on why you feel so uncomfortable with other people!

    Wishing you all the best — read the above article and let me know if it’s helpful —

    Laurie

  184. Introvert says:

    Hello, Ma’m.
    I’m 20 years old. I had been wondering why certain things happen to me, like feeling nervous in crowd, preferring to be alone, not being able to express what I think and feel, etc. I had guessed I was an introvert. And your test proves me right. I scored 28 with a “NO” for 13. I’m highly introverted.
    Maybe, this will be like my biography, but I think it’s the only place where, finally, I’ll be able to pour out what I do and what happens to me.
    I always like to be alone. Whenever something good happens, like end of the exam or having a good score or winning a prize, I just don’t want to celebrate it the way other people do. I don’t like to go to some restaurant with friends or hang out. I like to celebrate it being alone, reading a novel, listening to songs or watching a movie. And because of this, my family and whatever few friends I have, think that I am unsocial, weird. But I just can’t live their way.
    When it comes to greeting people, I can’t smile to them, can’t say Hi, can’t even meet their gaze.
    My relationships with friends, family aren’t that good. I keep on talking many things with my parents, but when I’m outside the home, I feel very insecure. I’m hardly the speaker. Somebody has to initiate the talk and I can’t contribute much. I just keep nodding, and answering if they ask anything. And that answer is hardly longer than a sentence of few words.
    It’s affecting my life very badly. I lost the affection of the person I love the most, because I couldn’t even meet his gaze, couldn’t express what I feel for him and he took that otherwise. It’s getting on my nerves.
    I don’t have any problem in being alone all the life, but now, I’ll be entering the corporate world soon, where I’ll have to interact with more people and still keep myself from draining out my potential.
    Ma’m, is there any way I can change my social behavior?

    Thanks…

  185. Irish-Introvert says:

    dear laurie
    thank you for your advice!
    your probably right…I was thinking that it had to be more than just introversion!
    thanks.

  186. Aquarian says:

    Dear Laurie,

    I’ve answered the personality trait questions and I ended up with a 26/29 being 7,9, and 13 a “no”. I’m hesitating a bit here but I thought of maybe a person might be able to give me an advice about my situation here.

    My parents are worried about my future lately. Didn’t go to school because I don’t want my parents to have debts or I don’t really have a reason to, didn’t feel like getting my first job because of my shyness which always blanks me out or it could be an inferiority complex, and I think I lack self-X where X being Esteem, Confidence, Respect.

    My situation would be pretty similar to Irish-Introvert’s but I have no clue how bad my situation really is. Tinkering with any electronic device I find interesting or to read or watch something like a romantic comedy or either of those genres just gets thoughts to leak out of my mouth, which my parents think I’m crazy or something because I talk to myself often.

    I know that I’m an introvert but, it seems likely that most, if not all, introverts will have a hard time with society from the start.

  187. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Sam,

    I think you have to accept that there is no way to logically explain such a major life decision! No matter how rational and objective you are, your family will react emotionally — because religion is an emotional topic.

    I encourage you to figure out your reasons for being an atheist. Be clear in your own mind why you believe what you believe. This might make it easier to explain your beliefs to your family.

    And, when you’re having The Discussion, try to avoid theological debates or arguments. Your intention isn’t to debate God’s existence, but to share what you now believe. The less argumentative the conversation is, the less emotional it’ll be.

    But no matter how you spin it, it’ll be a tough conversation. Even writing a letter won’t make it emotion-less…it’s just the nature of the topic!

    I hope this helps, and wish you all good things.

    Laurie

  188. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Irish-Introvert,

    I encourage you to talk to a counselor about your worries, anxieties, fears, and self-isolation. You’re dealing with alot!

    It sounds like you’re dealing with more than “just” introverted personality traits…it sounds like you’re struggling with people, relationships, and how to interact with your friends and family. Those are big issues, and they don’t usually just go away on their own. Sometimes they do, but often we need to take action in dealing with our issues.

    So, I encourage you to talk to a counselor. Even just a session or two can be incredibly helpful!

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  189. sam says:

    Dear Laurie,

    Fascinating site and conversation you have here, I am glad I found it. I was wondering if you could give me your opinion. (Forum feel welcome to comment also). I know that I am an introvert, and my close friends and family know it also. But just because they know it doesn’t always make dealing with me any easier.
    My question is: I have made a life decision that will probably very much upset my family, especially my parents – and confuse alot of my friends. I have come to realize that I am an atheist – while all of my family is Catholic to the letter. Regarless of what you think religiously…

    How do I logically explain a decision that I know is going to bring up alot of emotion? I’ve tried writing a letter, I’ve thought of the perfect place and time, but no matter how many times I run the scenario through my mind, it always ends up with alot of people feeling hurt.

    Any advice on how an introverted atheist can explain his/her decision and not seem like a cold heartless bastard to all his lovable extrovert friends and family?

    Thanks.

  190. Irish-Introvert says:

    I am worried.Worried about my introvertion.My mother has high hopes of me entering an art school,for career purposes.But when I think about it…I worry,Sometimes I feel sick.I feel that people won’t understand or appretiate my work or personality.
    Lately I’ve been avoiding school…I use sickness as an excuse and I’m starting to worry people.
    My best Friend,Whom I Adore entirely Has friends that I feel uncomfertable around,I can’t have a conversation with them,they Insult me and mock me…My friend says they’re always Like that and they were only joking,But even after that I still feel awful.
    I would like to have confidence and be able to call them friends,They are nice people,But I’m just questioning now if it would be easier to Avoid them altogether….However I just Don’t want to Hurt my friends feelings by sying “I don’t like your friends”
    Im avoiding great oppertunitys because of this.I havent gone to familly events,partys or gatherings because it Drains me…
    It’s strange that when I’m comfertable with someone I miraculously become Extrovert,even when alone….
    Anything Anyone could advise?…..please?

  191. Jen says:

    Hello Laurie,
    I am interested in using some of these questions in my behavioral research methods class for a survey on internet addiction and introverted personality traits. Would your permission be granted? If so, do you need any other resources from me?

    thanks,
    Jen

  192. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m glad you found this test for introverted personality traits helpful! Maybe you’ll go into psychology or human behavioral studies of some sort….it really is fascinating.

  193. Lindsey says:

    Wow, what a fantastic test!! both me and my partner took the test and I found out so much about myself and reasons why I behave the way I do…..not because I have completely low self esteem, but because I am a complete introvert, where my partner is half and half. For instance, when we have people round, I am always worrying that they are not enjoying themselves, or getting bored and waning to go home, ande have both not been able to understand why I am so “paranoid” in this situation, until I answered TRUE to “I like having people around, but I dont like them to stay for too long”
    Again what a fascinating test, I think Ive chosen the right course at University now 😀 im completely taken in and fascinated by this!

  194. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    We do indeed have to look after ourselves….whether we’re introverts or not….but I think people with introverted personality traits might need to focus more on self-care than people with extroverted personality traits!

  195. Jenny Grose says:

    I have enjoyed reading these comments, and doing the questionaire,
    I have always been quiet, and a loner, prefering my own company.
    I have always considered myself as a good listener, but this can
    cause problems sometimes, as some people drain me. These are usually
    the self important people who think I want to hear all about them.
    As I have got older, I have found it easier to be more assertive
    about my own needs.
    If we do not look after ourselves, who else will?

  196. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Yes, you’re a true introvert — and there’s nothing wrong with that! As long as you’re happy, and not totally isolated from the world (because people with at least some social ties live longer and are physically healthier).

  197. cj7 says:

    hey! i thought i’m the only one who felt like this.. and yah it’s weird. i enjoy being alone. i find hard socializing. sometimes it’s sad that i felt like i can’t get along with them I mean HOW?!” T.T ahm. thanks! now i know myself. it’s not that bad that i think. ^_^ (HERE’S WHAT I GOT –> *20-29* is true, im a true introvert)

  198. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Stacy,

    Thanks for your request — I’d love to write more articles about extroverts!

    Here are two:

    The Extrovert Personality at Work – 5 Personality Traits of Extroverted People

    Money Saving Tips for Extroverts

    If you have any specific questions about extroverted personality traits, please let me know. I’d be happy to try and answer them!

    Laurie

  199. Stacy R Jones says:

    Why have you not done any articles on People with extroverts personality traits?

    If you have could you please refer me to them?

    Thank you,

  200. Rhonda says:

    I’m an introvert with social skills. :-)

  201. Fred says:

    The best response, in my opinion, to the question “Why don’t you talk more?” is to reply “Why don’t you shut up more?”

    I realize this may sound harsh and antagonistic to some people, but occasionally the other person will laugh, and perhaps even at that point realize how inappropriate or offensive the question is. That’s the kind of person it may be worthwhile to get to know. And if they get hurt or offended, so what? Introverts aren’t generally interested in making a lot of friends anyway. I prefer quality over quantity myself. Unfortunately, there’s also another kind of response, I would term as mindless obliviousness, which seems to be common among the obnoxious type of extrovert, in which they entirely brush off almost anything anyone else says anyway and will continue to harass you, but it’s life and we have to deal with it as we can. Just try not to slap them upside the head if you can control yourself.

    As for the dating and relationship problems we have, my advice, to the guys anyway, is to be patient and don’t give up. I can see in my own life a progression in dealing with the opposite sex. I never even talked to a girl in high school, I went on a couple dates in college, and since then I’ve actually had a few girlfriends that have been good relationships. My social progress has been well behind the extroverted “normal” course, as far as first date, first kiss, first sexual experience…but it has all come with patience and the desire to keep working toward my goals when it comes to women.

    Take small slow steps, plenty of time to recover yourself, and always remember that no one else determines your worth as a person, only you do. There will be setbacks, and discouragement, but there will also be happiness and fulfillment, as long as you keep at it. Decide who you want to be, how you want to behave around others, if at all, and work toward that place. And never let anyone tell you there’s something wrong with the person you are or want to be. (Unless you want to be a serial killer or something.) As has been said before, if you don’t even try to reach your goals, you WILL fail.

  202. Monique says:

    First of all WOW! I had no idea so many people thought or felt the way I do. The first thought that comes to mind is why I haven’t run into more people like me. I can honestly say most of my friends are extroverts and definately speak their minds. Especially my boyfriend. I think over the years I felt I had to adopt some extrovert traits. Such as: Looking people in the eye when I talk to them and be confident in my speech. Smiling was a big one for me, learning to smile when someone looks at me Even if they are not smiling. It changes the way you carry yourself (in a good way). I chose to “adopt” these traits with much practice. Not to appease others but to help me better live my life. Im still an introvert and proud of it!

  203. suicy says:

    my result is both introverted and extroverted which is true because i have few friends but i enjoy working around people especially to those i have just met. but I’m sad because I’m always alone and i want to have many friends!

  204. TE says:

    QuietStorm – I feel like you were writing about me.
    Coco Bean – You summed it up best “Reading this blog is like discovering water after a long trek in the desert.”

    I’m a 40 year old woman and have been wondering for all of these years why I feel the way I do—like an outcast. I am so happy to know there are others out there that feel the same way and that we’re not alone in this. I’m exhausted after socializing, I enjoy my alone time (have to have it), and get tired of people thinking that I’m less of person than them because I don’t constantly talk about myself and all of my accomplishments. Here I thought something was wrong with me, because that’s what I was told. I have been trying to “fix” myself for years. Well, now that I understand why I am the way I am, I’m going to learn more about it and embrace it. Thank you Laurie for writing this article and to everyone for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

  205. Nana says:

    Hi..I scored 20/29..but still..I believe I am highly introvert..due to some other tests i took..and my answer for last question is true..Well, it’s not like i dont think im smart..so many ppl thought i am..but ive never excelled in my school except during my study at university..

    Being an introvert sometimes is a problem to me..cuz it’s hard for me to speak up my thought and sometimes ppl just dont listen..maybe because im not convincing enough..and i usually lost few good opportunities since some other ppl who really want them..they grab it even if it’s for me..it’s because i just allow them to take it since they want it so badly..but at the end..i feel sad..

  206. DC3 says:

    I am a 32 year old African American woman and I have heard MY ENTIRE life how anti-social I am. I have gone through life just brushing it off and as Mike stated earlier just “WAS MYSELF”. I can honestly say that just being myself has done way more BAD than GOOD. I keep a close network of friends who have been my friends for years. I do not wish to make new friends because I feel quite secure in my own little world. Now, job related is an entirely different story. I cannot keep a job longer than 2 years. If I am on that job longer than a few years I have usually been transferred from one dept to another. The bonus is I always get transferred/promoted to a better department but the downside is I always have personality conflicts with my co-workers. It is funny because I have always foolishly believed that if you go to work everyday, do your job and go home, you will never have any problems at work. That is so far from the truth. Because I choose not to go to happy hour after work, go to lunch with co-workers or entertain their miserable lives because they are up to their neck in debt and their husbands are cheating on them I am labeled a social misfit.

    I stumbled upon this article by simple coincidence and I believe this is a wake-up call. I like many others have gone through life thinking what’s wrong with me? Why is it when I transfer to a new dept people are nice and friendly and later those same folks will make my life miserable. Well now I know! I plan to research this topic in depth over the next few weeks as I indeed search for new employment. I think the unique thing with me is I am a social butterfly in job interviews. I have never interviewed for a job and was not extended employment. I usually sit in panel interviews watching the interviewers facial expressions as they are amazed with my knowledge and all of my experience (I’ve been transferred so many times I have a wide range of experience) and my winning personality. I also know while participating in these interviews that this is the last real conversation they will ever have with me.

    Its not that I don’t like people I just do not care to be around them and entertain their BS. A perfect day for me would honestly be for me to wake up, watch all of my T.V shows or read a good book at home ALONE. This would be without no one ringing the doorbell or the phone ringing at all. But society thinks there is something wrong with this. I want to fit into the extrovert role but it is very difficult for me. Does anyone have any advice as I began my journey to find my next job on how to pretend to fit in without losing my sanity?

  207. Pamela says:

    I’ve always known that I am introverted, but I still found this article and test interesting (I scored 29/29). Despite my quiet nature, I find myself preparing to become a high school English teacher; however, true to form, I come home from working as a teacher’s aide completely drained. Oddly, my life is best suited for an extrovert, but I manage. I have a special needs child who requires more attention than I can consistently give him while meeting the demands of work and graduate school (both full-time). My son now stays with his grandmother during the school week, which allows me to study upon my return home from work. He comes back home on the weekends. I am now less stressed with this arrangement, yet I still struggle to recharge my batteries. If I had the luxury, I could easily spend days on end by myself and be completely content.

  208. MissJ says:

    I can completely relate to the comments here. I have always struggled with being a quiet person. I didn’t realize how introverted I was until I read “The Introvert Advantage”(great book, everyone should read it). I could never understand why I couldn’t think of things to say to people, why my mind went blank. It still frustrates me. I always wished I could talk more and I still do. I get so tired of people saying “you’re so quiet” or “you should talk more”. They act like it’s so easy but it’s not for me. After reading the aforementioned book, I tried to be more understanding and accepting of the way I am, but its difficult when you’re surrounded by extroverts all the time who make you feel bad for being the way you are.
    And LaShonda, I can really relate to you because I am an african-american female also. It’s even less likely for an african-american female to be intoverted, we are expected to be loud so that makes it even more difficult.
    I don’t think introverts should have to change, but I wish extroverts would be more understanding and accepting of introverts and understand that we’re just different.

  209. Emi Sugiarti says:

    How to explain that if I prefer alone (or just with the close friend/certain people) is not weird.

  210. Tj says:

    **faints** I got 29 out of 29!!

    Thank you so much for helping me know there is nothing wrong – I always thought I was an introvert, but to see it “on paper” just makes me feel better…a little more understanding of myself

    :)

  211. AH says:

    To go along with the musicians comment (slightly same direction)…

    The thing that I have recently found out about myself – and slightly odd because of my introvertedness (yeah 26!) – is that when I play hockey, I am the loudest person on the ice and in the locker room. I really do not shut up. Put me in any other situation, though, and you can barely get a word out of me. Seriously, I don’t even need to be on the ice to be a chatter-box; it happens when I just go to watch games – I will just strike up a conversation with a complete stranger or talk my dad/friend’s ear off. Perhaps all the practice and games have led me to become relaxed in that atmosphere, I don’t know.

    Thanks for the article, though! I work for a small company and 2 of my coworkers are complete extroverts (the third is an extrovert with introvert tendencies, I’d say) and I always go home feeling completely drained! I love when they are out of the office because I feel like I can actually get some work done and I don’t have people constantly making noise or chitchatting about their personal lives while I’m trying to work. It’s always nice to know that there are others out there like me and that it’s okay to go home after a long day and chill by myself; that that behavior isn’t “anti-social” – as people have constantly told me – but rather my way of relaxing and rejuvenating my energy. Thank you!!

  212. Cathy says:

    Hi, my name is Cathy and I am 46 years old. I scored a 27 out of 29 on the introvert test. I used to think I was “odd” or “different” when I was a teenager because most of my friends were extroverted and I have always been an introvert. However, I had no desire to change to be like them; I like The way I am and I’m happy with myself. There may be an occassion once in a while where I wish I was more outgoing, but it quickly passes. I do believe hereditary plays a role in a person’s personality. I am the middle child of 8, and I would have to say all but 2 of us are introverts. I imagine life might be a little easier for the introvert if we could be more outgoing, but I enjoy life, and I know it takes all kinds of people to make it interesting. I can understand Chris, though. I beleieve my moods are worst in the winter because of S.A.D. It seems like Spring will never get here, but when it does, I feel like I’ve come alive and blossomed just like the flowers have. I certainly have more energy during the spring and summer. I’ts always good to know you’re not alone whatever your circumstances!!

  213. Mike says:

    I don’t agree with the mentality that us introverts should just accept who we are. Why should I do that when being an introvert has done nothing but fail me in life? Just because there are people just like me doesn’t make me believe it’s ok. Nothing angers me more than when people say “just be yourself”. WHO THE HELL ELSE DO YOU THINK I’VE BEEN???? I think some of us need to admit that our natural introvert personality just doesn’t cut it in this world, especially when it comes to guys in relationships. A woman can get away with being an introvert because typically guys are “supposed” to approach women and no matter what she looks like some guy will come on to her. I’m a good looking guy, I know this for a fact yet girls my age don’t talk to me. I rarely talk to thgem but when I ask them questions I feel like I get one word answers which really discourages me. It’s like they become intorverted when they really aren’t. Only women at least 10 years older show interest in me and i’m not interested in women older than me. Introverted guys need to find a way to change, we are missing out on so much and I think it’s foolish to just accept being an introvert. We need to find ways to change.

  214. Laura says:

    I am 30 years old and I have always been a shy person…I am not one to talk to people out in the world. I can chat and carry on a conversation online, but as far as talking on the phone or meeting new people in person, that just isn’t me…I have had alot of people hounding me as to why I don’t meet people I talk to online. I also don’t like talking to people I work with because they are 2 faced and will stab you in the back…they also try and get into my business, so I would rather not share any personal info with my co-workers.

    I scored a 29/29 and glad to have found this site…thanks for the test! :)

  215. JH says:

    Wow!I didn’t realize how extremely introverted I actually am. I get a lot of comments from friends about how much time I spend alone. They find it weird that I’ll do a lot of things by myself that most people would never do. (movies, dinner, vaca) The truth is sometimes I would like to be the guy that can talk to anyone and make 10 new friends while waiting in line for a table. A lot of my friends are that way. I’ve read a ton of material trying to figure out how to make myself do these types of things but nothing has ever worked. My introverted characteristics have probably limited me in my career more than anything else. I’m happy where I’m at but I guess I’ll never stop looking for a way to jump to the other side. Thanks for the article. It gave me some new things to think about.

  216. Jess says:

    I’m 24 years old and have always known that I’m a shy person. Every now and then through my adult life I’ve had bouts of depression where I have seriously thought that something was wrong with me because I don’t need to talk or interact with people to be happy, and have been aware that people think this is strange. I don’t talk very much at work except to my customers, and this is because customers don’t try to get to know me personally and I’m happy with that. Reading this article is helping me to accept myself and be proud of myself for who I am, and not try to fake being extroverted because it’s just not me.

  217. chisho says:

    i’m sure there are some negative points in being introvert so what could those be and how can i work on it to bring it the positive side?

  218. chisho says:

    i’m proud to be an introvert. i love being what iam. thnx for the test.

  219. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear LaShanda,

    It’s NOT weird to be totally alone, and feel totally fulfilled! That’s what being an introvert is all about, my friend. It doesn’t matter what color, religion, or nationality you are…people with introverted personality traits just don’t like being around tons of people, and aren’t loud and boisterous.

    I hadn’t thought about the African American stereotype…that’s interesting, and presents a different dilemma for introverts!

    Regarding social events at church — I don’t think turning down an invitation from a fellow church goer is any different than turning down an invitation from a coworker or neighbor. I go to church, and I decline invitations when I need time alone.

    When I turn people down, I’ll say something like, “Thanks for the invitation – you’re so kind! But, I need some downtime. I had a busy week, and need to unwind.” It’s as simple as that! You don’t need to argue or defend yourself…just keep repeating those 3 sentences until they get tired. Don’t add new reasons for not going, because people will keep arguing with you. Just quietly, firmly restate your position.

    I hope this helps, LaShanda!

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  220. LaShanda says:

    i am a 21 year old female african american college student and i find that the world does indeed put pressure on introverts to be extroverted when we are not. its so hard fitting in and getting to know yourself when everybody wants you to be someone else. i also used to think something was wrong with me. how could i be alone in my apartment and be totally fulfilled with no one around? it’s weird and people have told me so. i also am pressured because unfortunately the african american steroetype presents us as loud confrontational people when i am definitely not.

    today i got invited to a social event at my church and its hard for them to understand i get irritated and anxious when around too many people. how do you say you don’t want to attend a church event? extrovert culture has leaked into the very base of church social living.

  221. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Sehar,

    Thanks for your comment, and congratulations on pursuing your applied psychology degree — with honors! That’s great.

    Regarding the reliability and validity of the test of introverted personality traits above: the test came from Homemakers Magazine, summer, 2008. Thus, I’m afraid I don’t have the information you require. It’s not a standardized or validated psychology test, and isn’t a proper tool for university or college-based papers or research.

    Sorry I can’t help you, but I wish you all the best on your Psychology research!

    Laurie

  222. sehar iqbal says:

    hi, my name is Sehar Iqbal and i am a student of kinnaird college for women, Lahore, Pakistan. I would like to use your questionnaire for my research required for the degree of Bsc honors in applied psychology.. My research topic is relationship of procrastination among extroverts and introverts. kindly tell me about the reliability and validity of your tool and give me permission to use your tool in my research. I shall be thankful to you. Waiting for your respone. thanku.

  223. tommy says:

    Thanks for your comments. I would say that roughly 75% of the musicians I work with are introverts as well as dancers and actors. Performing in front of people is great for introverts. It requires relaxed concentration, and you are usually at your best when you are focusing inward and it also requires that you trust your intuition. Also practicing is something we have to do alone for the most part. I used to practice three to six hours a day, which can be very challenging for extroverts.

  224. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Tommy,

    Thanks for your thoughts — that Wayne Gretzky quote is one of my favorites!

    It’s interesting to learn that many of your musician friends are introverts, but don’t mind performing in front of others. I guess there’s a difference between playing the music or instrument you love, versus actually talking to people face to face. Playing music might be less draining and more energizing.

    I haven’t researched the negative personality traits of introverts…but now want to! I’ll write an article about that, and post the link here.

    Thanks!

    Laurie

  225. tommy says:

    I copied these positive traits from another page on this site. I find them to be very accurate in describing myself. What are some of the negative traits? I can concentrate very well, but stimulation (TV, etc.)sometimes are too distracting.

    * work well with others, especially in one-to-one relationships
    * maintain long-term friendships
    * flexible
    * independent
    * strong ability to concentrate
    * self-reflective
    * responsible
    * creative, out-of-the-box thinking
    * analytical skills that integrate complexity
    * studious and smart

  226. tommy says:

    In reference to an earlier comment about dating ” the worse thing she can say is no / not interested” reminds me of a Wayne Gretsky quote: “you miss %100 of the shots you don’t take”. Some tips I recommend are :know people’s names, you don’t have to have long conversations, and eliminate the unimportant details. Make it easy for your listeners. Knowing names can increase your confidence. Many of my musician friends (like myself) are extreme introverts, but we are comfortable performing in front on people. Put yourself out there and be positive, it is okay to be quiet and deliberate in your communication. People will tend to listen to you when you speak, and it is always (in my opinion) a good thing to validate what others are saying and you don’t have to speak as much. Most introverts I know have great things to say and usually what they have to say is meaningful, sometimes profound, emotional and
    deliberate. Just wait to speak. Many extroverts don’t listen well and like to hear themselves talk. I avoid conversations with these people if I can.

  227. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi LB, I’m sorry you feel unwanted and that your introverted personality traits are making it difficult to live in an extroverted world! I have written an article about introverted traits causing problems for introverts….if you want to read it, let me know. I can post the link here.

    Chris, thanks for your comment. I don’t know if introverts have more symptoms of seasonal affective disorder, but it would make sense if the particular introvert rarely goes outside! I don’t think ALL introverts have a tendancy towards SAD, but I can see how it’d be possible…I’m an introverted writer who doesn’t go outside every day, but I’m not sad.

    Laurie

  228. Chris says:

    Dear LB,
    I know how you feel and I think no matter how tough it gets, things could always be worse…I find daily sunshine exposure as important as air; do other introverts have greater SAD symptoms?

  229. LB says:

    Well I am 53 years, have 27 out of 29. I am alone, divorced, no family, no realtives, no fiends, but also no job, even am a research scientist.
    I have no problem with myself, but it is very very difficult to live as an introverted (odd) person in a extroverted world, people do not accept you, don’t understand, unwanted everywhere.

  230. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Chris,

    Isn’t it amazing to learn that those of us with introverted personality traits aren’t “anti-social” or “dysfunctional”? So many people read my articles about introverts, and are shocked to realize that they’re as normal as people with extroverted personality traits. They’re just different, that’s all!

    Thanks for being here; I hope to see you around these parts more often :-)

    Laurie

  231. Chris says:

    Wow! True is the answer to just about every question for me. It’s nice to read ongoing commentary on an article that was written so long ago. Being #9 of 10 siblings from an “old fashion” babyboomer family has given me many hand-me-downs, but only recently have I thought about my siblings and their introvert or extrovert leanings. My mother recently passed away, and the small things that one remembers…like mom telling me how “anti-social” I was! Perhaps disfunctional was “in” before disfunctional was cool:)
    Thanks Laurie

  232. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comment, Larry — I’m glad you’re realizing that you’re not alone!

    I encourage you to stop comparing yourself to extroverts. People with introverted personality traits are much different than extroverts, so it’s like comparing apples to oranges. Instead of forcing yourself to act like an extrovert, try practicing self-acceptance. Like you said, you need to let go of the comparisons because it makes you feel worse.

    I saw your question on my “Ask a Question” page, and will go there now!

    Cheers (from one introvert to another!),

    Laurie

  233. Larry says:

    Thanks for the article, I answered true to every question.

    I’ve always known that I’m an introvert, but living in an extrovert world I sometimes forget that my personality traits aren’t “problems” which need “fixing” and that there are other people out there who also get tongue tied and much prefer their own company.

    It’s easy for me to spiral into a pit of despair and self-hated when comparing myself to people who are extroverted, and I’m often torn between forcing myself to act like an extrovert (which almost always ends up making me feel worse when I see I struggle with it) and just letting go to practice self acceptance.

    It’s certainly helpful to read that I’m not alone, so thanks for the article, and to everyone else for sharing their comments & experiences.

  234. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Dianne,

    I’m glad you’re honest and courageous enough to admit that you’re struggling with your daughter! You and she are two different people — you’re an introvert while she seems to have completely extroverted personality traits — and it can be more difficult for introverts to be with extroverts than vice versa.

    There are a few things you can do to preserve your sanity. These tips are from my Tips for Coping With Children Who Are Energy Vampires article. By the way, I suggest you read that article — I don’t know if you’ve heard the term “energy vampire”, but it sounds like your daughter is draining alot of your energy…

    Figure out how long it takes for you to recover from a visit, and schedule your phone calls or visits accordingly. That is, if it takes a week for your energy to return after a visit with your daughter, then give yourself two or three weeks between visits.

    Let the phone ring. Who says you have to answer the phone every time it rings? You have the right NOT to answer the phone and to return a call when you’re ready.

    Have a plan for recharging after visits or calls. Set time limits on your phone calls or visits – and stick to them! And, after your contact with your daughter, do something positive that gives you joy: a funny tv show, yoga, or talking to your best friend.

    I hope these tips help, and I encourage you to look into the phrase “energy vampires.”

    Wishing you the best,
    Laurie

  235. Dianne says:

    Here’s a comment/issue that I have not seen yet. Maybe people are too ashamed to admit the feeling, but it’s driving me crazy. I am an introvert and have an only child – extrovert. She is 24 and loves spending time with me. I like to spend time with her, as well, like maybe 10 minutes at a time. She talks incessantly. I feel as her mother, I can’t ask her to be quiet. Sometimes, when she leaves, I go to my room, pull the covers over my head and cry because… well because I just can’t take it. The other evening, we watched a football game together on TV, and my daughter talked more than the announcers did. Please give me advice!!!!!

  236. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Afaf,

    Regarding the reliability and validity of the test of introverted personality traits above: the test came from Homemakers Magazine, summer, 2008. Thus, I’m afraid I don’t have the information you require.

    Sorry I can’t help you, but I wish you all the best on your Psychology thesis!

    Laurie

  237. LG says:

    im an introvert! i like it 😀

  238. Afaf says:

    where cud i get the reliability and validity of the tool just provided above, measuring introvert personality type?? actually im doin a research, my final thesis of BS(Applied Psychology), on Introverted Leaders, so i want to use this tool,,but i have to mention its relaibility and validity..

  239. Ravenangel says:

    Haven’t got much to add… 29/29 and I really enjoyed to read the others’ comments.
    Yes, I strongly agree more articles would be needed – about intraverts, for intraverts. :}

  240. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for being here, Coco Bean! I’m glad you feel at home here, and I welcome you back anytime…..it looks like I need to write more articles for introverts :-)

  241. Coco Bean says:

    Reading this blog is like discovering water after a long trek in the desert… what a relief! For the longest time, feeling different left me feeling hopeless and suicidal. So I’m glad that they’re people out there who understand exactly what I’m going through (down to the last uncanny detail like being best at expressing yourself through writing!)It’s nice to know that I’m part of a special group instead of feeling that there’s something wrong with me. I’m the only introvert in a family of 6 extroverts- can you imagine that? And I get grief for it all the time. My mother’s always complaining- oh, you have no friends! Oh, you’re such a loner! Oh, you shut people out! Oh, all you want to do is read!I can only take my family members in small doses- 1 or 2 members at a time. Extended family gatherings are a nightmare for me and usually I just go out and sit on the balcony while they’re all together playing scrabble (loudly and rowdily might I add) or something of the sort.

    They’re some really interesting comments on here…

    I find it amusing how nobody feels suprised when people think they’re smarter than they are. Same goes for me. Being an introvert people always assume that I can’t do something just because I don’t boast about it. So what would actually surprise me is if someone came out and told me that I am smarter than I think.

    It’s good to hear that there are others who feel overwhelmed at the work place or feel pressure to “schmooze” at big events (I hate being fake- like Laurie says-authenticity is beautiful). Quietstorm- I completely understand about not wanting to deal with the drama and confusion and baggage of other people. Paul- thanks for breaking down the statistics historically. Carribbean girl- I truly relate to what you said about “coming in to your own”. Thanks for sharing. I’m 26 too and only beginning to embrace who I am- so it’s good to know I’m not alone in this.

    As for KJ- I don’t think you should cut the cake according to “good introverts” and “bad introverts”. It’s more about more troubled people and less troubled people. They come in all shapes and sizes (extraverts too).

  242. polly says:

    My husband and I are both introverts and we love each other more for that truth. Amazingly he is an IT professional and, one would think, a perfect job for an introvert. He does spend a lot of time on the computer but finds the people in his workplace make it hard for him to do his job. He is very knowledgeable and likes to share his knowledge. But he is always tired because of all the human interaction and very little down time. I, on the other hand, have a more suitable introvert job. I am a professional dog walker! I see my customers on occasion, which I like. But I spend a lot of time out in the woods with the dogs. If anything, I can get lonely! But I prefer loneliness to feeling overwhelmed and overburdened by too much…people!
    Polly

  243. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Greg, thanks for your comments! I too wonder what introverts did before the internet — so many people with introverted personality traits tell me that they thought they were weird or odd until they found articles about introverts. I’d love to write more articles about introverts, and welcome any ideas you might have (eg, if you have questions about introverts dating or networking or achieving goals, feel free to ask it here and I’ll research and write an article).

    Paul, I hadn’t thought of introverted personality characteristics in terms of genetic or learned — thanks for this perspective. And I love your examples of introverts making history! You’re right: introverts really are part of a very special group :-)

    Laurie

  244. paul says:

    Something important to consider is that introverts are born not made. Typically the father is an introvert and either son or daughter is born an introvert. Once the genetic link is understood, introvertedness is no different that sharing other family features such as hair color, nose, eye color etc. More importantly though, introverts have a very special place in the world. It is widely accepted that the ratio intovert/extrovert of any country’s populatoin is 20/80. This is the natural division of labor seen in nature. Ants and bees have survived for millions of years because of this adaptive evolutionary feature. In humans, 20% are the thinkers, 80% are the workers. For example, an introvert would seem a natural fit at solitary jobs such as writing(where would we be without books), computer programmers, research scientist, engineers, artists, inventors(think Edison, Tesla). The introverts are mostly responsible for our modern world. Without them, we would would be in the stone age. But then again, it was an introverted caveman who invented the first stone hammer. If you’re an introvert, don’t despair, you’re part of a very special group.

  245. greg says:

    I have just taken this test and got 28 out of 29…this means that im a true introvert .The only one that I answered false was the last one. As people do not surprise me by thinkng that im smarter than iam ,because iam smart and so there is no surpise to me or any others,but I have got alot of predjudice through life and have become used to the meaningless barbs that is like water off a ducks back…Introvert websitesa seems the only sites that I ever write on.I find them really interesting and like to hear what others have to say .until the the internet came along we where all left to our own devices but now we have this and other forums to air our opinions…nothing like a bit of perspective…

  246. Linda says:

    Kj: Comfort food (for thought) thanks.

  247. Tony says:

    Laurie,
    Thanks a ton.
    I scored a 28.
    But at least, I know that most of my issues with myself aren’t just lack of self-worth.

    I am a Creative Director.
    (Now running a small creative boutique.)
    For years, I have blamed several of the points above on my pitifully abysmal self-worth.
    And have pushed myself along in my slow, stumbling way to do things that honestly, make me panic.

    The thing is, I am an excellent presenter.
    (If I like the story I am telling. And, am not interrupted.)
    Which makes people ensure I am always the one doing the presenting.
    What they don’t, is that I run a fever before I present.
    [Don’t laugh. This is true. I have checked it.]
    And after every major presentations, I rush home and sleep.

    And all along, I have my wife wondering what I am complaining about.
    From what she’s heard, presenting, for Tony, is a piece of cake!
    Also I have wondered why I find it a strain to come home and yap away about work like she does.
    In fact she always asks me if I did nothing at all.
    I used to feel guilty about it.
    Almost like I want to keep a dumb workday to myself.

    Need to share this with her.
    She’ll most probably commit me to an institution.

    Thanks again.

  248. LDJ says:

    QuietStorm, you said exactly what how I feel — exactly! I’m 39, and after a few broken relationships (and some friendships gone bad), you get the the ‘Hell with it’ point, to protect myself, to keep going w/ life. Those walls go up to protect yourself, and some people just don’t understand that. Thanks for helping me realize I’m not the ‘only one’ !!!

  249. Erin says:

    Thank you KJ. I am a narcissistic introvert with a very extroverted husband. Fortunately he has been extremely patient throughout our 10 years of marriage. I’ve pushed his family and many of his friends away and slammed him out so many times. Thanks to your input of my personality type I know how disgustingly insensitive and selfish I have been. Extreme introverts have a tendency to not see far beyond the four walls of our inner worlds. Sometimes we really need a wake up call.

  250. KJ says:

    PS. I think QuietStorm sounds cool and should feel okay with living in her own little world. Sometimes people are from such dysfunctional families that they have no choice but to do what they need to do, to make the rest of their life one that is enjoyable for them. The world is not set up for introverts, therefore, it’s almost a necessity that introverts do create their own world.

  251. KJ says:

    Considering that Americans today are living in a capitalistic society which requires the introvert to fake they are extroverted (at least to a large extent, especially if they are female,) I think it’s best two introverts get married. Maybe family functions won’t go as smoothly because one of you can’t bear the burden for the other and schmooze-it-up with Aunt Edna and Uncle Frank as well as you could with a spouse who has killer “networking” skills. But at least you won’t go home the majority of the time to a spouse you end up dreading because you’re going to be forced to spend your evenings “acting” just like you did all day.

    But in my opinion (based on experience), there are two main categories of introverts:

    1) The introverts with extreme narcissistic tendencies have themselves to blame for most of their marital/relational drama. These type of introverts will draw the person in and leave them standing at the doorway staring at their back. Then when the person tries to come in, the door is slammed shut. They are left hurting and confused and this pain is verbalized. The narcissistic introvert may even then blame the spouse for being “extroverted” but that may or may not be the case. Even introverts (the NON-self-oriented kind) can get their feelings so hurt that they display highly extroverted qualities. The narcissistic introverted spouse fears vulnerablity, therefore, they will never invite their spouse in and even if it appears they will, they will slam the door shut enough times on their spouse that the marriage usually doesn’t make it. The narcissistic introvert will push the spouse away and blame the spouse for the divorce…they will lick their inner wounds, and look for other people to draw in and slam the door on…it’s an endless, vicious cycle. Especially if the narcissistic introvert is the man in the relationship (assuming we’re talking about heterosexuals here.)They can make the woman feel very insecure when they shut them out over and over. She will get really confused because her spouse is the one drawing her in and then shutting her out. Making a woman feel mistrusting and unsafe is a recipe for disaster.

    Moral of the story – avoid the narcissistic introvert and instead, look for the 2nd kind who is emotionally healthy.

    2) Altough on the quiet/deep/reflective side, they tend to display more integrity and a loyal character altogether. They will know how to be polite around your mother, even if she is a super annoying extrovert. She’s still your mom. They won’t leave you to do all the “socializing” either, even if you are the “woman” because they will take responsibility for their own relationships, including your mother-in-law who may have extroverted tendencies. Most importantly, when you have children, they will be able to be an emotionally vulnerable parent, which is ultra important to the psychological health of the child, even though they will get their feelings hurt at some point by their child, which comes with the parenting job (especially as kids grow up and try to find themselves). This is also another example of an introvert, despite how difficult it may be or odd it may feel to them, knowing when it’s appropriate to act selflessly on behalf of someone they claim to love.

  252. QuietStorm says:

    Hello, I am a 41 year old woman. I must say that was a very helpful test. I scored a 27/29. The two questions that I disagreed with were “I form lasting friendships.” and “Other people may surprise me by thinking I’m smarter than I am.” I have always had issues with friends and relationships. My introverted personality prevents me from meeting people and hanging out. I have had several relationships that did not work and conceived two sons. How ever when the relationships end I say the Hell with it and don’t look back. I feel the same with friends and family that I feel have mistreated me. I find it hard to relate to people who are negative or complainers, so I just avoid them. I don’t return phone calls unless it is absolutely necessary and then I have to go over the conversation in my head. I do work and have maintained employment, but I always wait to be invited in rather than immediately becoming part of my environment. Although, I sometimes surprise myself because I do have a very strong sense of humor and I love to laugh and be silly. However, I find it hard to make or retain eye contact for an extended period of time. I really, really want to be more social and more excepting of others and let people into my life but it is really hard letting my guard down and letting others in because I I don’t want to deal with the drama, confusion baggage and issues, which I find a lot of people come with. I feel really safe and peaceful in my little world!

  253. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    You’re definitely not alone — you’d be surprised at how many of us feel close to the edge, and like we’ll “snap” at any moment!

    I’m reading a book on self-forgiveness (I can’t recall the title, and it’s at home but I’m not), and it’s excellent for people like us who beat themselves up. I’ve also done alot of personal work on overcoming fear of intimacy, which has allowed me to fall in love and get married.

    Learning to accept ourselves – whether we’re introverts, extroverts, or just no-verts :-) is a lifelong process. It will never end, which means we can relax into our own growth and not strive to be perfect beings. We can’t be perfect!

    I hope that makes sense?

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, caribbean girl.

    And Joe — regarding extreme introverted personality traits: have you read The Introvert Advantage? It has great information. I also wrote an article called Introverts and Extroverts in love, and I think there’s a book of a similar title.

    Here’s the link:
    http://behavioural-psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/introverts_extroverts_in_love

    I’m an introvert, and proud of it! :-)

    Laurie

  254. caribbean girl says:

    I am 26yrs old and just beginning to come into ‘my own’. I recently began to experience panic attacks due to stress and reading up on trying to manage my stress and anxiety better, I have found very useful information on from this article. I realise I am not alone, although thats the way it has felt for the past 26yrs lol. Iam still struggling with the belief that there is something wrong with me and that any moment now I may ‘snap’. I am still learning alot about myself and one of the things is that I bottle up my feelings and have never really opened up to another human being before. I have high expectations for myself and others and beat myself up when things do not happen as I think they should. I always feel like I am being judged and so never reveal the real me and avoid intimacy/deep relationships with people and even family.

    I am working on maintaining a positive attitude towards life and people in general and better managing my stress so I can truly have a fulfilling life

    Here’s hoping!

  255. Joe says:

    I’m 30 years old and finally starting to figure out who I am as a person. What makes me tick and what doesn’t. For most of my life I’ve considered myself an outcast. I have yet to find a person that understand who I am and why I do things the way I do.
    I’ve been having issues within my marriage as my wife is VERY Extrovert and we can’t seem to see eye to eye on things.
    We went to a marriage counselor and she stated that I’m extreme introvert and that it’s OK. She suggested that I do some reading on introversion. I haven’t found a good book as of yet, but all of the reading I’ve found on the Web is a huge relieve. I now longer feel as though I’m an outcast or like there is something wrong with me.
    It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this world. One of the sites I found talked about Introverts being part of some “Gifted Populate”. http://giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/introvert.htm
    Although I don’t want to sit here and say I’m gifted, but the High Achieving introvert on the link I provided is exactly me. I have the ability to pick up a book and retain 90% of it on the first read. I never did well in school because I got bored and wasn’t challenged enough.
    I’m a software developer by trade and I have never attended a college course for programming. I usually just buy a book, read it once and I’m good to go.

    As for Jake, I feel for you man but Laurie does make some good points. When you’re trying to win over a lady, it’s not about you, it’s about her. It’s about you getting to know her. How else you going to do that without asking questions. Write down on a piece of paper some general questions that you can ask and take it with you. Do a quick read before you go and talk to her and just let the conversation take you where it takes you. Try to keep the conversation casual at first. Compliment her on how beautiful she looks or like Laurie said, how a certain article of clothing makes her eyes stand out. (just make sure you know the color if you’re going to use that line).

    And, like I always tell my friends, the worse thing she can say is no / not interested. If you don’t talk to her, it’s an automatic no.
    Good luck Jake.

  256. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thanks for your comments and questions, Jake. You seem to know yourself quite well – and you’re comfortable with who you are, which is great!

    Here are 4 tips for socializing with women as an introvert:

    Forget about yourself. Instead of worrying how YOU sound, how YOU appear, or how YOU feel, focus on HER!

    Comment on a piece of clothing or accessory. Ask where it came from, what the significance is, how much it cost (just kidding about that! Money talk may be going to far). Making small talk is about being observant about people you don’t know well.

    Pay attention to what she says. Follow up on her responses; for instance, if she says she’s doing “excellent”, ask why. If she says she’s exhausted, ask her if she didn’t sleep well.

    Keep up with current events. Make small talk about the news, sports, your community, or politics. Talk about your surroundings – even talking about the weather can lead to more interesting conversations!

    Jake, I think the most important thing is to forget about yourself and concentrate on getting to know the woman you’re talking to. And, to increase your confidence, learn the basics of making small talk.

    This article may help; it’s called 10 First Date Conversation Starters:
    http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipsandtipsforachievinggoals/244

    And since you’re smart, you might also like 5 Intelligent Conversation Starters:
    http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipsandtipsforachievinggoals/775

    Good luck — and don’t forget to be yourself! Authenticity and honesty is very attractive.

    Laurie

  257. Jake says:

    Well, I took the test and scored 28. People never surprise me by thinking I’m smarter then I am, because I’m just really smart. A genius, maybe. The problem is brains don’t help much in a social enviroment. I’m 22 years old and I have very few friends (which I prefer, becuase I’ve gotten to know my few friends very well) and no girlfriend, which I hate. Most of my friends are dudes and the few women I’m freinds with are married. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve always been shy and when I try to talk to a woman I’m attracted to my brain freezes. I just can’t think of anything to say.
    I read your advice that you gave to Jerry and it sounded good. So, I’d like to ask your adivce on socializing with women and, of course, dating them. I do eventually want to get married, however I’d don’t know if that’s going to be possible if I can’t stop being so shy.

  258. Laurie PK says:

    It’s important to find a partner who shares your likes and dislikes — which includes your introverted or extroverted personality traits! I have a friend who is an extrovert, and she’s married to an extreme introvert….and they clash constantly about the amount of time they should spend socializing.

    The problem with two introverts in a relationship, however, is that they may spend all their time together. Couples need to socialize with others — it’s important for introverts to interact with the world.

    I do think an introvert-extrovert relationship could be very successful, as long as both partners compromise to meet the others’ needs. They might need to negotiate how much time is spent going to parties, out to dinner with friends, etc — and they should find a happy medium. Some introvert-extrovert couples socialize separately, and it works for them!

    Extrovert-extrovert couples run the risk of being out constantly, and rarely taking the time be alone.

    So — I think the exact couple combo (extrovert-extrovert, introvert-extrovert, or introvert-introvert) is less important than how the couple agrees to meet the outside world. And, it’s also really important for “mixed” couples to understand and accept how their partners are — that they simply have introverted or extroverted personality traits.

    I hope this helps, Jerry! I take it you’re an introvert? :-)

  259. jerry says:

    what do u think is the best mate for an introvert?

  1. March 10, 2015

    […] when I look at lists of introvert traits, I realize that is who I […]

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