Jan 042009
 

These five successful dating tips for men and women are from dating expert and author Ian Coburn. He explains how his dating advice will improve your love life and help you achieve your relationship goals!

Before the tips, a quip:

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”  – Mark Twain.

These successful dating tips for men and women involve standing out from the crowd – not blending into the majority of people. Below is an excerpt from Coburn’s free ebook, The New Way to Date – 5 Simple Steps to Dating Bliss. He also wrote God is a Woman: Dating Disasters; to learn more, click on the book cover. And,  read on for Coburn’s successful dating tips…

5 Successful Dating Tips for Men and Women by Ian Coburn

Failure to follow this advice for successful dating is why most people see dating as about as much fun as getting a root canal. Why do we follow stupid “rules” without question, such as waiting five days to call? I don’t, which is exactly why I enjoy dating and searching for “the one.” I simply follow these five successful dating tips for men and women!

Why do these dating tips work? The principal of effective dating is to stand out from the crowd. General consensus from experts is to do this by building interest (i.e. playing games). Don’t return a guy’s call. Wait five days to call her after getting her number. The result? Instead of enjoying each other, we agonize over every little aspect of meeting and dating. Instead of building interest to stand out, I build momentum. It’s much more fun and entirely liberating.

Here are my successful dating tips for men and women:

1. Don’t get a number, get a date. When you meet someone, ask her out to something related to the conversation (a favorite restaurant she mentioned, for example). This makes you memorable, shows you’re paying attention, and makes her feel obligated to return your call when you contact her to set the specifics. That return call gives you the opportunity to reconnect and almost always leads to a confirmation. If you’re a woman, guarantee the guy calls after getting your number by writing it down for hi,m then squeezing his hand and smiling as you give it to him. Read 7 First Date Ideas to Avoid Dating Disasters for tips on planning a wonderful first date.

2. Set the tone. Build momentum by being prepared-be on time, know where you’re going, have directions, don’t stop at the cash station after picking her up. People look for reasons not to date; don’t give her any. Women, keep the momentum going by not interrupting it-turn off your cell, don’t ask conversation stoppers like, “So, how come you’re still single?”

3. Be confident. No “I can’t believe you’re here with me,” or “I can’t believe you asked me out.” Both women and men rate confidence high on their list of desirable traits in the opposite sex. This successful dating tip for men and women won’t just help you achieve your relationship goals – it’ll help in all aspects of your life!

4. Kiss in the moment. Kissing is about emotion and feeling it in the moment. Make your move when you think you both feel it. Waiting till the end of the date builds anxiety, and doesn’t guarantee the moment will be right. Spontaneity and acting on impulse is a great tip for successful dating.

5. Set the next date on the current one. If things are going well, why wait? Do this through the first four dates, roughly. No anxiety about: Will there be a kiss? When will he call? Estimating when to call… Much more fun and you can actually focus on each other instead of your game; very refreshing! 

If you have any thoughts or questions about these successful dating tips, please comment below…

  3 Responses to “5 Successful Dating Tips for Men and Women”

  1. This really is great suggestion – I too are convinced 3 things every man must come across when trying to attract women is being confident and getting your life together. Social status your dress/presentation will always be high on any womans list.

  2. Thanks for your comment, Sarah. Finding the balance between being assertive and thoughtful might be hard for some men — especially if they grew up on a Hollywood diet of macho male role models! I love the idea of decisive men who can take the reins without being aggressive or macho.

  3. These are fantastic dating tips, especially from a woman’s perspective. I would LOVE for men to grow up into REAL men, being assertive without being a jerk – be decisive and know what you are going to do ahead of time, no wishy-washy behavior and no IDOLIZING the woman. Great job!

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