Before the tips, a quip:
“Only a few things are really important.” ~ Marie Dressler.
One of the best cures for loneliness – whether it’s Valentine’s Day or not – is to figure out what you want out of life. What goals do you want to achieve? Instead of focusing on what or who you don’t have, start creating the life you want.
If you struggle with the single life, read Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent.
And here are a few tips for Valentine’s Day…
Single and Lonely on Valentine’s Day? A Cure for Loneliness
Write down five things you want out of life. What are your relationship goals, career goals, spiritual goals, life goals? Make a list of your life goals. Don’t just recite what you think you should want out of life. Instead, really dig into your dreams. What would you do if you weren’t scared? How would you live your life if you had courage? If your goal is to be in a relationship, write down four things you can to do achieve that goal: accept all invitations, go on blind dates, spread the word to your family and friends, and take continuing education classes. If you want this to be the last time you’re lonely and single on Valentine’s Day, set your goals and forge ahead. Taking action is one of the best, most natural cures for loneliness or depression.
Figure out if you’re scared of love or intimacy. I didn’t get married until I was 35; before I could take the plunge, I went to counseling for a few months. It helped me realize I was afraid of love and marriage; just being aware of my fear of intimacy helped me overcome it. Today, I’m happily married. Many of my friends are single and lonely — and not just on Valentine’s Day. I often wonder if they’re scared. What’s holding them back? Why do they feel depressed, but can’t move forward? Sometimes we hold ourselves back from love, and we wonder why we’re single, lonely, and sad on Valentine’s Day. Are you holding yourself back?
Remember that this, too, will pass. Everything comes and goes: love, heartbreak, happiness, bitterness, togetherness, separation. When I was single, it really helped me to remember that it’s just a stage. And now that I’m married, I remind myself all the time I may be single again one day. I’m not aiming to be single, but it could happen — and there are a lot of benefits to the single life! Every stage of life has benefits and downfalls, and every stage of life eventually passes. A possible cure for loneliness is to remind yourself that your life will change. You’re in control, you’ve set your goals, and you’re on your way to achieving them.
Plan an adventure. Give yourself something to look forward to: plan an event, activity, or event that distracts you from Valentine’s Day. How about an exotic vacation in Belize, a singles cruise, a weekend in Vegas, or a local weekend retreat? I traveled a lot as a single woman – I even lived in Africa for three years before I was married – and found that the best way to enjoy life was to get outta town. Instead of focusing on the single life, be kind and generous to yourself by planning something interesting.
If you’re recently single, you might find Letting Go of Someone You Love helpful.
And if you feel like you’ll never achieve your goals, read How to Be Lucky – 10 Ways to Get Luckier in Love and Life.
What do you think of these cures for loneliness, for people who are single and lonely on Valentine’s Day? I welcome your thoughts below…
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