Maybe you’re scared to quit your job because you don’t have a new job, you need the money, or you don’t want to disappoint your boss (that’s me! I’m not your boss…I’m the person who is scared to quit her job because of what her boss will think).
Quitting a job can be difficult for many reasons – and most of us can’t quit because we need to pay the bills. But, sometimes achieving your long-range life and career goals has to go beyond the short-term pain of quitting work and pursuing what really matters.
I’m thinking about quitting my job as a Mentoring Coordinator at Big Brothers because I’m going to grad school full-time in September, and it involves a two-day a week field placement. I said I’d work part-time at Big Brothers while going to grad school, but now I don’t think I can do it all.
The hitch? I’m scared to quit because I don’t want to let my boss down. I love working at Big Brothers, and don’t want to lose that connection!
If you need a change but feel paralyzed – or if you’re looking for meaning in your career or life – read The Seed: Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work. “It’s a must-read if you’re stuck, at a standstill, in the valley of decision, or have lost passion for life. A great gift for graduates, mid-lifers or those who are standing in the muddy waters of career crisis!” says one reviewer.
Are you in the same boat – scared to quit your job for some reason? Here are a few tips to help you figure out if you should quit your job, why you’re hesitating, and how to quit without stressing out (or freaking out!).
When You’re Scared to Quit Your Job…
I’m reluctant to quit my job because I feel really bad about letting my supervisor down. In the six months I’ve been working at Big Brothers, she has written me two letters of reference and given me a glowing performance review. And, several people at work are on maternity leave and a couple others have quit and are on medical leave, which means my supervisor is super stressed right now.
That makes me scared to quit. I don’t want to disappoint her, add to her workload, or jeopardize my chances for getting a good reference from her in the future.
Maybe you’re not dealing with the same situation – you’re probably scared to resign for different reasons. No matter what your reasons are, these tips will help you decide what’s best for you.
Figure out what’s most important to you (your priorities!)
What are your priorities? My top four are:
- Go to graduate school (I’ve been accepted into the MSW program at UBC. If you’re thinking about going back to school, read How to Get Into Grad School – Master’s or PhD Programs).
- Join an orchestra or band that meets once a week, and play my flute in concerts.
- Be a Big Sister (I was a Little Sister when I was 11, I work at Big Brothers, and my husband is a Big Brother. I want to put my money where my mouth is, and be a Big Sister!).
- Contribute to my top two Quips and Tips blogs regularly.
I’m afraid I can’t do all that and continue working part-time at Big Brothers. I’m worried I’ll be stretched to thin. I don’t want to run from one responsibility to another, and not have any time to breathe, exercise, walk my dog, or just chill.
My priorities may have to outweigh my fear of quitting.
Decide on your long-term goals
My long-term goal is to work as a counselor or social worker in a hospital, helping people cope with illness. Does working part-time at Big Brothers move me towards that goal, or away from it? Away from it, I think, because it doesn’t increase my skills or knowledge in the field I want to work in, and it’ll decrease the time I have to focus on my priorities and goals.
What are your career and life goals? If quitting your job moves you towards them in the long run, then maybe you need to find a way to be scared to quit your job…and quit anyway.
If you’re worried about quitting because you don’t have a new job or your family depends on you to pay the bills, read Should You Quit Your Job? 6 Things to Consider Before Resigning.
Make a list of pros and cons about quitting
I’ve only done this in my head, but it’s especially effective to do it on paper. If I stay with Big Brothers, I’ll get paid. I won’t really be developing better relationships with my coworkers because I won’t be working in-office – I’ll never be around! I’ll be at my practicum or in classes Monday-Friday. And, I won’t be learning new skills or networking.
If I quit, I’ll have more time to focus on my long-term career goals. If you don’t have long-term goals, then it’s time to put your thinking cap on! Or your dreaming cap – because sometimes the things we’re most passionate about are in our hearts, not our heads.
Let go of the rational arguments
I’m a thinker, and I tend to find reasons for everything I do. I don’t rely on my intuition – but life coach Martha Beck says inner wisdom is more important than logic and reason.
“If you’re wondering whether a choice is wise or not, don’t search your mind for a rational argument,” she writes in “The Voice Within” (O Magazine, August 2011). “Instead, hold each option in your attention, then feel its effect on your body and emotions. When something’s wrong for you, you’ll feel constriction and tightness. The wise choice leads to feelings of liberation, even exhilaration.”
The trick is not mistaking your normal, healthy fear of quitting your job for constriction and tightness of making the wrong choice! Sometimes we’re afraid of taking risks because it’s scary to take risks. Fear doesn’t necessarily mean a choice is wrong.
Are you scared to resign from work because you may not get another job? Read What to Do When Nobody Will Hire You.
And if you have any thoughts on quitting work, please comment below!
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.