When Introverted Personality Traits Cause Problems for Introverts
Any normal personality type, trait, or habit can become a problem for introverts or extroverts. How do you recognize when your introverted personality traits are causing problems in life — or even becoming an emotional or mental health issue? Here are some signs…
Before the tips, a quip:
“I’m an introvert at heart,” said Hollywood movie star Roy Rogers. “And show business – even though I’ve loved it so much – has always been hard for me.”
It is possible to have introverted personality characteristics and be wildly successful in your career — but balancing the publicity and networking skills required for success can take a toll on introverts! For more info about introversion, click on The Happy Introvert: A Wild and Crazy Guide for Celebrating Your True Self by Elizabeth Wagele. And, read on for information about traits that can cause problems for introverts…
One of my readers asked, “Is there a clear point where introversion becomes a mental health issue?” on my Tips for Networking Successfully for Introverts article. Yes, there IS a point when introversion can cause problems for introverts.
First, let me point out that there’s rarely one specific, definite point in which introversion becomes a problem. Most life problems (and mental health issues) develop slowly over time. But, there are tipping points, of course.
Second…do you know if you’re an introvert? Take this Test for Introverted Personality Traits.
Third…make sure your personality type isn’t holding you back in life!
Introverted Personality Traits Can Cause Problems for Introverts When…
Introverts spend little or no time with others. It’s scientifically proven that support networks of friends, peers, and family makes all people (whether introverts and extroverts) physically and emotionally healthier. Connecting with other people improves the quality of your life and increases your longevity. If you’re not spending time with others – which means making a real-life connection (not over email or forums) – at least twice a week, then your introverted traits can turn into a mental or emotional health issue. If being with people makes you nervous, read How to Make Conversation for Introverts.
Introverts don’t take care of their personal hygiene. I’m an introverted full-time freelance writer and blogger who rarely leaves the house; I have to admit that my hygiene habits aren’t high on my list of priorities! Luckily, I’m married and still care what my husband thinks, so I make an effort to at least fix my hair, brush my teeth, and wash my face before he comes home from work. But, if he wasn’t here every day, I know I’d be less clean. Introverted personality traits cause problems when introverts don’t take regular showers, brush their teeth, or wear clean clothes.
Introverts feel unbalanced or emotionally unhealthy. When I spend too much time alone or too much time with other people, I feel unbalanced, unhealthy, and, frankly, a little wacked out. My reader asked the question about when introversion can become a mental health issue — and mentioned feeling “schizo” and considering seeing a counselor. Fellow introverts, listen to the emotional and physical signals your body is sending you! Don’t wait until your friends and relatives are forced to do an intervention. If you feel unbalanced, unstable, or emotionally unhealthy, get thee to a counselor, doctor, or trusted friend or family member.
Other people are worried. Finally, if your friends or family members are excessively commenting on or worried about your introverted personality traits, then you need to think about their concerns. I’m not saying you need to listen to them – introverts aren’t always understood by extroverts or people in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum – but I do think you need to at least consider why they’re worried. If you’re unsure, take their concerns to a trusted third party for objective feedback. Are you spending too much time alone? It’s possible.
Do you have any thoughts or tips on recognizing when introverted personality traits are causing problems for introverts? Please share your comments below…
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Comment by Georgie on 27 September 2009:
In The Introvert Advantage, Dr Marti Olsen Laney says “Introverts are energized by their inner worlds while extroverts are energized by outer worlds. That is, introverts get their energy from themselves – their ideas, emotions and impressions.”
I disagreed with much in Dr. Laney’s book, particularly the above assumption. The energy doesn’t come from our own ideas. Rather, we need to be alone to process the input from the rest of the world.
And we’d rather obtain that input in quiet ways. The ability to analyze a problem in one’s head doesn’t mean that person is preoccupied with his/her own thoughts. The introverts I know are very concerned and caring for other people, solving problems, righting wrongs…..we just don’t usually approach these things from a stage with a microphone.
Comment by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on 27 September 2009:
Thanks for your thoughts, Georgie. You’re right: people with introverted personality traits aren’t usually found on a stage with a microphone!
And if they do get up there, they might need lots of time alone, to re-energize.
I’m definitely an introvert: I feel drained when I spend too much time with people. But, too much time alone can be damaging as well, which is why I wrote this article about introverted personality traits becoming a problem.
Comment by Ravenangel on 18 November 2009:
Hy there! Very intelligent thoughts! The mentioned problems are very familiar for me – being very introverted, I experienced all four of them.
Spending too little time in human company, in my opinion, has lots to do with intraverts gaining energy from inside. If I spend too much time alone, I literally feel “overcharged” and just don’t know what to do with my inner energies.
However, I agree with Georgie: processing the input DOES need time – but I think it would be the topic of another article.
Personal hygiene: oh well, I have to admit I love being clean, _but_ it’s quite exhausting for me that I feel the need to “behave myself” and look elegant when I go out and meet other folks. Nice clothes and makeup… while at home, I feel just awesome, wearing a pair of jeans and some ugly t-shirt. :}
This “unbalanced” feeling may come from the fact that we introverts usually listen “inside”, so we have the chance to notice all our feelings, even the negative ones. Extraverts are usually busy with the happenings of the outside world, so they have less energy for listening to their inside feelings.
Worried family members and friends – yes, methinks this is one of the greatest problems if you are an introvert! Hard to tell what is “normal” – what others consider as a “normal social life” may be a synonym for an extremely intraverted person.
Comment by Ravenangel on 18 November 2009:
…ooops, sorry – I meant “a synonym for hell”
Comment by Angel on 2 February 2010:
Hi Laurie,
your posts made realize that I am having a problem on my introvert trates. I can say that it is already a severe problem because even talking to a person which I don’t know, whether on the phone or in person, I feel nervous. My friends always say that I don’t need to feel nervous but I can’t controll it. I know that I need to talk to counselor regarding with this problem but I can’t at the moment because I’m still unemployed. Thanks again for this good articles.
Comment by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on 4 February 2010:
Hi Angel,
I’m glad the articles about introverts helped you, and I hope you can soon go to a counselor to help ease your problems!
Remember, not all counselors cost money. Some pastors, preachers, and rabbis counsel people for free. And, there are help lines for people to call and get information about social service organizations. Some women’s organizations offer free counseling as well.
If you have the time, I encourage you to find out about free counseling resouces in your community!
Thanks for commenting, and I hope to see you around Quips and Tips more
Blessings,
Laurie