I love to hear from you, especially if you have a different perspective! That’s how I learn

That’s a very healthy, self-accepting perspective — that our life decisions aren’t right or wrong. And, I can see how that leads to self-blame and judgment.

I think I was trying to encourage people to see WHY they made the choices they did. For instance, that particular reader was afraid of intimacy so she chose to leave her boyfriend. You’re right: that’s not a wrong decision — she was protecting herself.

I was trying to encourage an awareness into why we made the decisions we did in the past, especially ones we regret. Not just for this reader, but for everyone reading.

Thank you for saying she’s not “stuck” — I hope she read your comment and takes your advice. You summed it up very clearly and objectively, and I hope it helps her to read that.

Thanks Gini — I always love when you pop by.

Laurie

I love your articles, but feel I have to speak up here around the tip of figuring out what went ‘wrong’. I don’t see our life decisions as right and wrong – and judging our actions as ‘wrong’ can be a form of self-blame and judgment leading to guilt etc. As you said in your second tip, “Accept that you did the best you could”, makes sense as we are all making choices based on our current state of understanding, conditioning etc.

I don’t see the woman who write in as ’stuck’. She is clear why she married the man she did, knows it isn’t a fit for her now, and needs help in making the next best decision without feeling guilty.She is in a process and this is a part of it – it takes time to make major life decisions.

Getting counselling or coaching and connecting to herself on a spiritual level are the best of your tips from my perspective. When I connect to myself on a deep soul level, I see the bigger picture (the why’s, the benefits, the costs of the choices I made) and see what needs to be done next. Over analyzing from a mental perspective or emotional perspective can get in the way of clarity.

Thanks for the opportunity to comment, Laurie!

Gini