Comments on: What To Do When Your Mother in Law Doesn’t Like or Accept You

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:05:49 +0000

Lisa,

Thanks for your comment — and I’m glad you had the courage to leave your marriage after eight years! It’s sad that you had to do it, but it’s better than staying in a situation where your husband and mother-in-law are lying to you.

I wish you all the best in your future!

Laurie

By: lisa

lisa — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 13:57:00 +0000

it’s only going to work out if your husband doesn’t defend his mother. I left my marriage of 8 years after my husband and his mother both lied to me blatantly and had no intentions of coming clean.

it was the most hurtful day of my life.

to this day neither of them will admit that they lied, or apologize – they tell me I’m wrong (even though our bank statements and phone bills say otherwise)

good luck to those still in this situation.

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:25:03 +0000

I have a fairly good idea her side. She is married to a man who is almost 30 years older than herself and I think now that he is in his 80s and she in her 50s she is facing the reality of the age gap. Also she lost a daughter at 5 leaving her with my bf as her only child so I know she was hoping for grandchildren. For obvious reasons this is not a possibility for us as I am 48 with 3 almost grown kids. I as a mother can understand this although would support what ever made my child happy and would never reject them or thier decisions even if it were not what I had hoped for. I must admit all of this makes me feel somewhat insecure as I worry myself about our age gap and what the long term future may hold. This is an affulent family and my bf has inherited alot and has never wanted for anything where as I have to work very hard to meet all my needs. My bf is somewhat selfish when it comes to money possesions etc where as I am a total giver by nature so sometimes I fear our walks of life may interfere with a long future together. The unanswered questions I think is a dilema for all of us ,so for now I am holding on to see where the future will take me.

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:55:58 +0000

Roselle, it’s interesting that you haven’t met your in-laws in person yet! My husband hasn’t met my mother, actually (so he hasn’t met all his in-laws, either). If you do meet them, I hope it goes well

Susan, it sounds like you’re in a very healthy place with regard to your boyfriend’s mother. What a shame; I don’t understand how people can be so judgemental and unaccepting. It’d be interesting to get her side, wouldn’t it? What’s going on in her mind? Anyway, it’s her loss…she’s creating distance and conflict between herself and her son.

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:50:12 +0000

Well I saw my boyfriends Mom for the first time in over a year an a half. We had a yard sale and she stopped by. I was very enthusiastic towards her said it was great to see her and 2 of my kids were there so I introduced them etc. She was very very cold toward me but I feel it was some progress that she showed up knowing I would be there.But I agree with the coments left that I should just focus on my relationship and let the cards fall where they may. I’m not going to go out of my way to create a relationship with the family but if in there presence I can only be who I am and I refuse to be rude because thats just not me:)

By: roselle go

roselle go — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 14:47:10 +0000

hi!
mine is quite different to your situation, Iam married for 5 years but I never had a chance to meet my in laws in person. I just dont have the grasp of others mind and emotions, what matters is that Im in control of mine….

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:09:42 +0000

That’d be great — I’d love if you responded to her question about starting her own business!

Here’s the link to her question – just scroll down to the end…

Ask a Question

Thanks Susan! And, I’m guessing that you saw her question in the email in box? In that case, just come to Quips & Tips and search for the title of the article. I’m not sure if there’s a more direct way to find the article, but I’ll look into it.

By: Susan

Susan — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:00:10 +0000

I wanted to respond to a comment left regarding a gal wanting to start her own business, I am in the beauty indusry for 28 years and wanted to comment to her, just wondering how you comment on individuals post. Im not much on the computer so if you could guide me that would be great. I just see many post but not sure how to pick a specific one:) thanks

By: Susan

Susan — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:22:48 +0000

Thank you for your time! I like the advice and plan on following it. In the present this situation has not had a huge impact on our relationship, more than anything I feel saddness for my boyfriend and truthfully I think in a selfish way I had hoped this would change so my boyfriend would feel the freedom to marry me without worrying what trouble this could cause him with the family. I also think your right in that no matter who he was with they would find some fault in that person.
Funny also you mention that if they met me and realized how loving and nice I am and how compatable I am with thier son they would struggle. My boyfriend has said almost the exact thing to me. Again thanks, I enjoy this forum and found it very helpful!

By: Kaitlin Beckman

Kaitlin Beckman — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:27:09 +0000

Cheer up. It WILL get better.