Whether you’re going through divorce, separation, or a relationship breakup after six short months – the emotions can feel overwhelming. Here’s help for surviving the emotions you feel after breaking up.

First, a quip from a famous fairy tale:

“The horror of that moment,” the King said, “I shall never, never forget!”  “You will, though,” the Queen said, “if you don’t make a memorandum of it.” ~ Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass.

You will get past the devastating emotions after breaking up – but you need to focus your energy and thoughts on healing and moving on. You can’t dwell the relationship breakup itself; that is, you can’t make a “memorandum” of it! To learn what Dr. Phil McGraw says about divorce, click on Real Life: Surviving the 7 Most Challenging Days of Your Life. And, read on for suggestions on how to survive the emotions after breaking up…

Relationship Breakup Help – How to Survive the Emotions After Breaking Up

After separation or divorce, you may feel rejected and despairing. “Feelings of rejection may run high because we often measure the results of our efforts in terms of whether or not the world accepts or rejects us,” writes Dr. Phil. Sometimes, another person’s reaction can be a barometer of our worth and value. “When the love of our life leaves us, any past rejection issues can be magnified.” You may feel unworthy, not good enough or like damaged goods. A divorce may also signify the failure of your dream, because you couldn’t make the marriage work.

• To survive feelings of rejection and despair, remember that a marriage or relationship breakup doesn’t change your value as a woman or man. You didn’t break up because of a failure on your part; the relationship failed for its own reasons.

After breaking up, you may fear that you’ll never be loved again. If you’ve been married for many years, you may think you won’t be able to survive emotionally, socially, or financially without your partner. You are entering a new phase of your life and don’t know what to expect. If you’re getting a divorce, read Money Tips for Divorcing Couples.

• To survive the fear of being alone, surround yourself with a support group! Gather your old friends around you, and be deliberate about making new friends. Don’t focus on the fear of never being loved again; instead give yourself the gift of self-care, self-love, and self-soothing. This relationship breakup help involves surviving your emotions by accepting them.

After a relationship breakup, you may remember only the good. “It’s just all too easy, once you separate from an irreconcilable situation, to remember and focus on only the good,” Dr. Phil writes. You may find yourself forgetting the irritating habits of your partner and only remembering the nice and sweet things he or she did for you. “By doing this, it’s very easy to fool yourself into wishing that you were back in the relationship and rationalizing that things actually weren’t that bad.”

• To survive this “selective memory” experience, don’t contact your ex-partner in a weak or lonely moment. “Once you’re out, stay out, unless one or both of you earns your way back in,” says Dr Phil. Focus on letting go of someone you love without wishing you were getting back together.

Other emotions after breaking up include anger, shock, bitterness, and loss. If you need suggestions on surviving those feelings, please let me know below; I’ll write another article about relationship breakup help.

And, I welcome your questions or thoughts on surviving heartbreak below…

Related Posts on Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals:

• Ways to Stop Obsessing About Your Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend
• How to Let Go of Someone You Love – No Relationship Closure
• Breakup Advice – How to Stay Happy After Splitting Up
• 5 Tips for Helping a Grieving Friend
• How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend