If you’re dating someone you like a lot, you may be wondering if you’re falling in true love or if you’re just infatuated by your new sweetheart. Here are five ways to tell if it’s true love or if you’re just infatuated with someone new and exciting…

Before the tips, a quip:

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

And there, my friends, is one way to tell if you’re really in love: you’re looking in the same direction as your sweetheart! You need to be focused on the same life goals if you want to stay in love for the long haul. For more love tips, click on Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. And, read on for five ways to tell if it’s true love…

Love or Infatuation? 5 Ways to Tell If It Could Be True Love

1. Your experience goes beyond your feelings. Be honest: do you like talking to your sweetheart? If you weren’t sweethearts, would you be friends? Can you see yourself accepting his or her foibles and weaknesses just as they are right now, in 10 or 20 years? Infatuation is all about how you feel; true love is about how you act towards your sweetheart, and how he or she acts towards you. If you’re still in the dating stage, you might find 8 Tips for Great Dating helpful!

2. You have similar life goals. If your life goals include living in Africa and your sweetheart’s goals involve staying put, building a home, and raising a family…then you might have to have a conversation about the future. I hate to say it, but it’s a myth that “love conquers all.” Infatuation is about short-term desires; true love is about long-term life goals and plans. One way to tell if it could be true love is if you’re both willing to compromise so you can both achieve you life goals.

3. You have the same core life values. Do you have similar spiritual, moral, or ethical beliefs? Relationships in which one partner is, for instance, Jewish and the other is, say, Muslim, make it difficult to forge a strong life together. Of course, if you both have lukewarm spiritual beliefs, then it may not matter if they’re in opposition…but if you follow your faith faithfully, you’ll need to address it sooner or later. Infatuation ignores spiritual differences; true love makes your spirituality stronger.

4. You feel accepted and good about yourself. Do you feel good about who you are and where you’re going in life when you’re with your sweetheart? When you’re not with him or her, do you feel secure, confident, and happy with your relationship? Infatuation often involves feeling insecure, self-conscious, or unhappy about who you are; true love is about feeling supported and accepted. One way to tell if it could be true love is whether you can disagree without feeling unloved. 

5. Rebound love isn’t an issue. Sometimes people fall into relationships because they feel insecure or sad about a previous relationship breakup. If you’ve recently broken up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, read 5 Tips for Avoiding Rebound Love. Infatuation is about attraction for the wrong reasons; true love involves accepting and loving your sweetheart because of who he or she is. 

Relationship expert Michael Webb offers an interesting way to get to know your dating partner – it’s called 1,000 Questions for Couples. Discussing your answers together (or even just thinking about your answers!) will help you figure out if it’s true love or just infatuation.

What are some other ways to tell if it’s true love? I welcome your questions or thoughts about love versus infatuation below…and, if you’d like me to write a second article about discerning true love, just let me know below!  I’d be happy to.

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Related Posts on Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals:

• What to Look for When Dating – 7 Tips for Successful Dates
• What to Talk About on the First Date – Dating a New Partner
• 7 Ways to Make Your Marriage Better – Love for Married Couples
• 7 First Date Ideas to Avoid Dating Disasters
• 80 Ways to Show Your Love on Valentine’s Day Without Spending Money