Leaving Your Husband or Wife – 4 Ways to File for Divorce
Before the divorce tips, a quip:
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them.” – Denis Waitley.
Deciding to get a divorce was probably a long, difficult process for you – and finally going forward with divorce proceedings may feel like a weight has been lifted! If you’re still thinking about leaving your husband or wife, click on Contemplating Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go by Susan Pease Gadoua – it’s a wonderful resources for couples with marriage problems. And, read on for four different divorce options…
Leaving Your Husband or Wife – 4 Ways to File for Divorce
If you’re filing for divorce, you might also find Preparing Financially for a Divorce helpful.
Self-Representation or In Propria Persona. If you file for divorce yourself, you’re responsible for all the paperwork, deciphering the legal issues, and stating your case to the other side. Self-representation is low-cost, but Gadoua says it this method of filing for divorce isn’t a beneficial as hiring a divorce attorney. However, it can work well if you have low assets and no controversy – and aren’t too emotionally involved in the outcome.
Divorce Mediation. A trained neutral party can help you leave your husband or wife, and ensure you come to a mutually satisfactory divorce agreement. The cost can be low, moderate, or high, depending on the mediator and the length of time the divorce proceedings take. Divorce mediation most often saves money, but emotional power or financial knowledge imbalances can affect the outcome. Divorce mediation works best when both spouses have equal knowledge of financial assets. A divorce mediator may also give you advice on staying happy after you break up.
Collaborative Divorce. Gadoua describes this as a new way to file for divorce; collaborative divorce involves two divorce attorneys and two divorce coaches, a financial specialist, and a child specialist. A collaborative divorce focuses on achieving common goals, such as what’s best for the kids, and is driven by the spouses’ wants and needs. Leaving your husband or wife this way can quick and efficient, and may improve your relationship with your spouse in the long run. A collaborative divorce is moderately to highly expensive, and scheduling time for all parties (divorce attorneys, divorce coaches, the financial specialist, the child specialist) to meet can be a disadvantage.
Litigation – the Traditional Way to File for Divorce. Each spouse hires a divorce attorney; the best divorce litigators are aggressive and will pursue any and all assets they can for their clients. Divorce litigation can be very expensive, dragging on for years. “While the majority of cases settle prior to trial, almost all require periodic appearances, at least by counsel, at hearings and conferences,” writes Gadoua in Contemplating Divorce. “But there is always the risk that, if a point cannot be negotiated, it will end up before a judge. If this happens, it is almost guaranteed that the case will cost a great deal more money, take more time, and be much more emotionally draining on both parties.” Divorce litigation is likely to take longer than self-representation, divorce mediation, or collaborative divorce.
Related Reading – Articles About Divorce
Ever since reading Contemplating Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, I’ve been writing madly about divorce! For more info on filing for divorce, click on How to Decide About Getting Divorced.
If you’re still thinking about leaving your husband or wife, read Women Considering Divorce – Signs It’s Time to Leave Your Husband. You may also find 7 Ways to Tell if Your Marriage is Over helpful.
If you have any questions or thoughts on leaving your husband or wife, or these ways to file for divorce, please ask below…
Comment by Lilly on 30 September 2009:
I want to say – thank you for this!