10 Ways Money Problems Can Improve Your Marriage
Your financial struggles and money problems can improve your marriage, says therapist Gilda Carle, Ph.D.! Here are ten ways money problems can make your love life better….
“When money is removed from the table, love becomes its own currency,” says Dr Carle. “This is great news for relationships. Amid the doom and gloom, sizzling passion can build. And the “us against the economy” interaction creates an unflappable bond.”
For more tips from this relationship expert, click on her book Don’t Bet on the Prince: How to Have the Man You Want by Betting on Yourself. And, read on for ten ways money problems can improve your marriage and love life…
10 Ways Money Problems Can Improve Your Marriage
If you and your partner fight about money, you might find 10 Tips for Talking About Money for Couples helpful.
1. Money problems force you to redefine romance. Money problems can lead you to interpret romance differently. Instead of expensive dating, choose significant conversation. Walk in the park and talk by the water because you like hearing what your partner has to say.
2. Money problems can encourage you to spend more time together – and laugh more. Replace a fancy vacation with a “staycation” at home, watching funny movies and laughing. Laughter’s contagion reduces stress hormones and increases health – and can block the negative news. Laughter is relationship glue – especially for couples with money problems.
3. Money problems incite creativity. Invent entertaining activities that don’t require money, and you’ll improve your marriage! Playing board games, cooking together and comparing books are inexpensive ways to improve your love life without spending a lot of money. Become unguarded, vulnerable and approachable.
4. Money problems force you to deal with your finances. Once you start dealing with your money problems, you’ll improve your marriage because you have to start solving your problems together, as a couple. For help with money matters, read 8 Money Management Tips for Couples.
5. Money problems help you dump the drama. To improve your marriage when you’re dealing with financial struggles, avoid drama of any kind. The economic mess is providing all the drama you need. If your partner pushes your buttons, take a breath and walk away. Return for discussion whenever you can share your views unruffled.
6. Money problems encourage you to incorporate more calm. Although you might once have deemed this state of mind “boring,” set your sights on a commitment to tranquility. Recall and recapture TV’s fumbling Huxtable family that was funny and fun to watch. To improve your marriage and love life, adapt such lighthearted composure.
7. Money problems help you become a playmate. Engage in playful teamwork. Invite your partner to be your sounding board and assistant problem-solver. Even if you don’t agree with the advice you get, listen to it playfully. For longevity, remember this Gilda-Gram: “Playmates become staymates.”
8. Money problems force you to accept the unchangeable. Acknowledge your money problems as they are, because they aren’t something you cannot change. To improve your marriage and love life, communicate your feelings and fears.
9. Money problems encourage you to honor your honey. Appreciate your partner’s wonderful traits and let him or her know. Just knowing that you can never replace that special person by your side can improve your love life!
10. Money problems make you think differently. Country singers expose their meltdowns, humor, anger and love. There is no subterfuge, only raw and authentic reality. For example, Trace Adkins teases that, despite their differing economic status, high-class “Ladies Love Country Boys.” After contemplating this song, a shy college dropout mustered the nerve to ask out his attorney-and they are now engaged. Your marriage could be improved if you allow your money problems to help you think differently.
What do you think of Dr Carle’s ways money problems can improve your marriage? Is the doctor out to lunch? 
Your comments are welcome below…
Comment by Laurie PK on 28 June 2009:
Money buys happiness after all, say researchers from the University of British Columbia and the Harvard Business School. In March 2008, professor and lead study author Elizabeth Dunn found that buying gifts for others and making charitable donations significantly improves happiness levels (unless you and your partner already have money and debt problems!)
Spending money on yourself decreases feelings of happiness.
“We wanted to test our theory that how people spend their money is at least as important as how much money they earn,” said Dr Dunn. Their theory proved correct. “Regardless of how much income each person made, those who spent money on others reported greater happiness.”
To test happiness levels, the researchers conducted two separate investigations: a survey and an experiment.
Both investigations revealed that the participants who spent money on others reported feeling happier at the end of the day than those who spent the money on themselves. Plus, participants didn’t have to give away huge amounts of money to feel happy. Dr Dunn says, “These findings suggest that very minor alterations in spending allocations – as little as $5 – may be enough to produce real gains in happiness on a given day.”
Source: University of British Columbia (2008, March 21). Money Buys Happiness When You Spend On Others, Study Shows. ScienceDaily.
When you do get out of debt as a couple, start spending little bits of money on each other.