How to Overcome Fear and Anxiety
Ready to achieve your goals — and live a bigger and better life? Here are four ways to overcome fear and anxiety. These tips are from Pat Barone, a personal and performance coach with Catalyst Coaching.
Before the tips, a quip:
“Fear might be the natural impulsive reaction when sudden change occurs, but it’s not the best reaction,” says Barone. “In fact, fear is about the worst place to go at a time like this!”
She’s referring to the U.S. financial crunch, which is causing world-wide change. It’s easy to be afraid — but fear paralyzes and prevents you from living big. Click on Susan Jeffers’ Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway for more info, and read on for Barone’s tips on overcoming fear and anxiety…
How to Overcome Fear and Anxiety
Fear is a powerful emotion that shuts us down, and cuts us off from opportunity and possibility. When we feel fear, we rarely see things clearly or notice the good in our lives.
First, let’s define fear:
F.E.A.R. = FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL
Fear and anxiety cause a series of reactions. Our bodies constrict, tighten up, look down or inward, huddle in, and try to suppress the fear. We aren’t looking forward, we’re looking inward. We can’t see the bigger picture. Then, we start blaming/shaming in an attempt to feel less responsible for what is occurring. We blame other people. Chemical reactions occur in the body, with adrenaline and stress hormones flowing and circulating throughout our bodies. Under these circumstances, rash decisions are often made and we may start to “awfulize” our situation – making it worse than it actually is.
To overcome fear and anxiety, look forward, set goals, be positive and take charge. And, read Overcoming Obstacles to Achieving Your Goals!
Action Steps to Overcoming Fear and Anxiety
1. Assess your life - Look at what’s really important to you. Be clear about what money means to you and how important it is in YOUR life.
2. Quarantine Fear - Literally see yourself clearing fear from your thoughts. If you notice fear and anxiety entering your thoughts, write them down on a piece of paper and systematically tear that paper up and throw it in the garbage. One of my clients created a “fear jar.” She took a large 5-gallon plastic water container and, every time she felt fear entering her mind, she wrote it down, crumpled it up and put it in the container. She was amazed how quickly it grew! It was confirmation of how much she had been living in fear in her life.
3. Go on the Offensive - Educate yourself; find your values; change the way you handle money; formulate a positive plan of action; get creative; and re-evaluate your priorities. Finally, be aggressive about gratitude. Being grateful is the quickest mood-changer there is and it doesn’t cost a dime.
4. Spend Your Money Differently - Make thoughtful, considerate decisions, purchases and investments. Make sure you feel good about where your money is going. Going to a restaurant? Spend your money at a place you love. In essence, you’re saying you want them to stay in business. If you’re anxious about money, read 4 Tips for Facing Financial Fears.
Realizing that you are making a choice about how to think is actually empowering. It reaffirms that you are in charge of your decisions, your attitude, and your life! If you struggle with perfectionism — which leads to fear and anxiety — read 5 Tips for Overcoming Perfectionism.
What do you think about these tips for overcoming fear and anxiety? I welcome your comments below…
Pat Barone is a performance coach with Catalyst Coaching; she helps clients all over the world make positive change in their lives.
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Comment by dashineni on 27 October 2009:
i m dashini here …. my grandmom don let me talk to a boy in telephone … they think i will not be good if i talk to a guy…..
One day , i was having a phone number n it was a boy’s number..
My grandmom ask me who is it i say is my frend… then she ask wht frend i cant say tht is a boy…. so i lied its a gal…. then she ask me to bring the phone to her…. then he hanged the phone…after tht she was saying y i m makin frend with a boy…… i was so scared wht if she tell my aunt …. nobody in my family is patience….
Wht can i do ?
Comment by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on 28 October 2009:
Hi Dashineni,
I don’t know how old you are, but if you live with your grandmom, you must be a minor. And, unfortunately, this means you might not be able to do much about her rules.
However, that said, I do suggest that you talk to your grandmom about why she doesn’t want you talk to boys on the telephone. She might be afraid or anxious about something, and it might be good to find that out! If you know what she’s worried about, then you can reassure her or help her cope with her fears.
I also suggest compromising with her about stuff like the length of your phone calls, whether she’s in the room, and even which boys you can talk to. If she knows you’re only talking for 15 minutes with her right there, then she might be more likely to let you talk to boys.
Try these tips out, and let me know how it goes!
Laurie
Comment by dashineni on 29 October 2009:
hi i m dashini …. i m poor gal i born in Malaysia but come to Singapore to study …. how to study well … i can but my auntie sometimes scold me in badwords… And whn I go somewhere n come late , my auntie say tht i my good for nothing … i will tell them i will come late before going to a place… i m a good gal not like others , they will go to pub .. if i talk to her why she is doin like this , she don’t reply n just murmur something n just back off… in my school they said tht they only help me for this year then next year i have to go back to Malaysia to study if i can’t pay my fees…. wht can i do …In Singapore they only help for Singaporeans not for foreigners …..
Comment by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on 2 November 2009:
Dashini,
I’m sorry for the situation you’re in — it sounds very difficult! I don’t know anything about Singapore or Malaysia or studying there, so I have nothing to suggest.
Actually, I do suggest that you talk to the people in your school further! Find out what the school fees are and if you can get a job to pay for them.
And if you can’t find the money for the school fees, perhaps going back to where you’re from in Malaysia will be good for you! I don’t know anything about your situation, but I do know that sometimes the “worst” thing happens to us, and it turns out to be not so bad after all. There might be some positive aspects to going back, especially as it seems you’re not getting along too well with your auntie.
I hope this helps a little, I wish you good luck.
Laurie