Comments on: My Girlfriend is Gaining Weight – Can I Help Her Lose Weight?

By: Sick of Misogyny

Sick of Misogyny — Mon, 21 May 2012 05:37:07 +0000

These comments, and similar ones one the web, confirm to me that I live in a patriarchal society. All this talk of health and confidence is bull****. The guys do not care about the health and happiness of their wives and girlfriends, they care about how quickly and easily they are physically turned on sexually by them, like pavlov’s dogs. Women are just as turned on visually by images of sex — men are not special creatures who love porn more. They are just less sexually imaginative. Women are more capable of seeing their partner’s beauty and personality, and have these inform their sexual attraction to them. That is why women react with shock that men demand there wives lose weight, like they are being disrespected by their women for neglecting to recognize their manliness with sexy bodies. Women are shocked that men are so shallow – because they themselves are not.

Talk of health and confidence is a ploy for the guy to successfully manipulate his wife/girlfriend into losing weight. Pretending it is about her, when really its a more subtle and strategic means of achieving his ends.

I’ve got news for you guys. As women make more money and achieve more status in the workplace, studies have proven they choose more attractive mates. You and your balding, beer-bellied, back-haired bodies will be traded in for newer, younger models. I hope. Though it is a stretch for me to imagine women being this shallow.

All of this confirms to me that marriage is for making babies. You best be damn sure as a woman you do not compromise too much of your career potential for some superficial sap whose limited sexual imagination taps out without the young nubile bodies he thinks he entitled to from his regular visits to porn sites.

By: joe

joe — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 01:50:52 +0000

I wish I wasn’t so visually attracted. When my gf gained weight, I lost my sex drive and most of my attraction toward her disappeared. I still love her and think that I always will. But, I think there’s more to a relationship than love. It’s also about finding someone that matches you and makes you feel good. I think it’s funny when people talk about unconditional love and expect you to magically neglect the rest. Maybe if a woman could understand, they’d put more effort into staying fit for there man. I ended up breaking up with my gf. There was no physical attraction and I couldn’t take it any more. A few months pasted. I saw her again. She looked completely different, in shape and very sexy. The chemistry was amazing! She finally realized how important staying fit meant to my programmed mind. I appreciate her willingness to take me back and the “understanding” that came with it.

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 14:54:10 +0000

Hi Martin,

One of the hardest things about relationships is accepting our partners for who they are! We can’t change the people we love, yet we want to see them grow and become better, healthier people.

There’s a fine line between loving your girlfriend as she is, and wanting her to lose weight so she stays healthy and attractive. You can’t force her to see the importance of exercise and healthy eating, but you can create your own healthy, fit, active lifestyle. It may rub off on her, and help her set and achieve fitness goals. You could also invite her out for hikes and bike rides. Encourage her to take Zumba and other fun dance classes with friends.

But ultimately, there’s not much you can do to stop your girlfriend from gaining weight — especially if she doesn’t think fitness or active living is important. Ultimately, you need to accept her for who she is. People do change, but only when they really want to.

Take it one day at a time, and don’t worry too much about the future “what ifs” (What if she doesn’t lose weight? What if you’re not attracted to her if she keeps gaining weight?). Instead, focus on enjoying who she is today. And, stay active and healthy — it may encourage her to do the same!

Laurie

By: martin

martin — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 04:47:06 +0000

i want my girlfriend to lose weight because i feel if she keeps up her eating habits shell get heavier. i personally like slimmer girls but if she gains the weight i feel like i will lose my physical attraction to her. what can i do? i try to get her to exercise more to counter her eating habits but its not really a solution because she doesn’t feel its that important so she doesn’t do it enough.

By: Sonia

Sonia — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 04:01:17 +0000

You can find why she is unhappy. No happy woman is gaining more than 10 lbs( maybe on vacation or when nesting and in love). Something is wrong.

By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:14:48 +0000

Thanks for your comment, Jane. There’s alot to be said for boyfriends who love their girlfriends no matter what — even after weight gain!

By: Jane

Jane — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:07:08 +0000

Hi,

I think if your girlfriend is gaining weight, you should love her no matter what. It’s mean to say she should lose weight! Let her be.

Jane