Comments on: Mother-in-Law Problems – How to Cope When She Doesn’t Like You http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/ Got goals? Need a push in the right direction? You've come to the right place! Thu, 24 May 2012 06:38:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Lovehim http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-3/#comment-43883 Lovehim Thu, 17 May 2012 05:10:59 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43883 I don't know what to do anymore.. I'm about to get marry in 2 days:0 and I have this sister in law that just keeps saying all this things about me.. That I'm cheating on her brother( my fiancé) when he goes to work then I call her to tell her everything.. She goes telling all his family all this things also she tells my mother in law... Now my mother in law believes her n even when I got my sister in law n my mother in law together. I asked my sister in law to tell me all the stuff she's been saying to my face she started denying everything... Dat she haven't said anything n at the end I was still the liar... They believe her even though I confronted her I know my fiancé side of the family is not gonna be in the wedding cuz they don't like me at all cuz if her I never been in a situation like this n I don't know what to do can some one give me an advice??? Plz I don’t know what to do anymore.. I’m about to get marry in 2 days:0 and I have this sister in law that just keeps saying all this things about me.. That I’m cheating on her brother( my fiancé) when he goes to work then I call her to tell her everything.. She goes telling all his family all this things also she tells my mother in law… Now my mother in law believes her n even when I got my sister in law n my mother in law together. I asked my sister in law to tell me all the stuff she’s been saying to my face she started denying everything… Dat she haven’t said anything n at the end I was still the liar… They believe her even though I confronted her I know my fiancé side of the family is not gonna be in the wedding cuz they don’t like me at all cuz if her I never been in a situation like this n I don’t know what to do can some one give me an advice??? Plz

]]> By: Desperately seeking sanity.. http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-3/#comment-43822 Desperately seeking sanity.. Wed, 16 May 2012 00:13:49 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43822 My bf and I have been together for a couple if years now things moved quite quickly abd I moved in with him,now we have a baby that's 6months old.The problem us HIS MOTHER !! My partner said when we first got together that he wasn't really that close to his mum as he said they used to argue when he lived there and that it only marginally got better once he moved out,however,since I first met her I just felt she was v over powering and nosey and she always tried to make herself seem so nice and genuine that I knew it was the opposite regarding some of what she was really like and I know that she has spoken about me behind my back about lots of things. The trouble is we live quite close to his family and his mothers side is a close and large family I feel like everything we do us told to the whole family or posted on Facebook !(I'm not exageratonv it actually is talked about with the family my baby gets passed around like a parcel when we are all together and I dread any event I need to attend where I will need to go with my baby.my partner doesn't seem to understand why I'm so annoyed but it's caused many arguments as she always calls and asks him everything about our baby,what we have been doing,etc etc down to fine detail!she even sent me a text recently saying she wasn't happy about the fact we were renovating not to her speed liking as she thought our baby was suffering for it !the way she gies about things is manipulative though and I really am now finding it so hard to even be around her.I hate the way she disregards me when we take our baby round as she completely takes over and she acts like it's a major offence if u want to hold your own child whilst visiting them.it's honestly driving me mad..also the other thing that bothers me is the constant comparisonsaxd by her between myself and my baby and get niece and hers as our babies are the sane age,I feel like moving so far away and not telling her where we are but my partner doesn't understand and I do feel bad as I know he's stuck in the middle he's close to his family as I am with mine but my family totally respect us I just wish whenever she asked him he wouldn't tell her everything or she wouldn't ask I just want her to stay out if our lives as I honestly don't feel at ease ever knowing she might want to see her grandchild since my baby has been born it's so bad I just want a break !it's getting me so far down..if anyone can relate or help in a positive way pls do I'm not over reacting this family is too much and his mother is a nightmare it's seriously affecting our relationship now pls help ! My bf and I have been together for a couple if years now things moved quite quickly abd I moved in with him,now we have a baby that’s 6months old.The problem us HIS MOTHER !!
My partner said when we first got together that he wasn’t really that close to his mum as he said they used to argue when he lived there and that it only marginally got better once he moved out,however,since I first met her I just felt she was v over powering and nosey and she always tried to make herself seem so nice and genuine that I knew it was the opposite regarding some of what she was really like and I know that she has spoken about me behind my back about lots of things.
The trouble is we live quite close to his family and his mothers side is a close and large family I feel like everything we do us told to the whole family or posted on Facebook !(I’m not exageratonv it actually is talked about with the family my baby gets passed around like a parcel when we are all together and I dread any event I need to attend where I will need to go with my baby.my partner doesn’t seem to understand why I’m so annoyed but it’s caused many arguments as she always calls and asks him everything about our baby,what we have been doing,etc etc down to fine detail!she even sent me a text recently saying she wasn’t happy about the fact we were renovating not to her speed liking as she thought our baby was suffering for it !the way she gies about things is manipulative though and I really am now finding it so hard to even be around her.I hate the way she disregards me when we take our baby round as she completely takes over and she acts like it’s a major offence if u want to hold your own child whilst visiting them.it’s honestly driving me mad..also the other thing that bothers me is the constant comparisonsaxd by her between myself and my baby and get niece and hers as our babies are the sane age,I feel like moving so far away and not telling her where we are but my partner doesn’t understand and I do feel bad as I know he’s stuck in the middle he’s close to his family as I am with mine but my family totally respect us I just wish whenever she asked him he wouldn’t tell her everything or she wouldn’t ask I just want her to stay out if our lives as I honestly don’t feel at ease ever knowing she might want to see her grandchild since my baby has been born it’s so bad I just want a break !it’s getting me so far down..if anyone can relate or help in a positive way pls do I’m not over reacting this family is too much and his mother is a nightmare it’s seriously affecting our relationship now pls help !

]]> By: meka http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-3/#comment-43768 meka Mon, 14 May 2012 22:32:15 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43768 First of all I feel when you marry a husband the relationship is between GOD the husband and wife yes you marry into the famiy but by no means is anyone obligated to have contact if there's such a dislike for a spouse then the hubby or the wife should keep their relationship with there spouse between the two under no circumstances should the spouse of either side tolerate disrespect from a family member to their spouse it should be addressed if inlaws have a problem they should stay away especially if when they come to visit or call they are disrespecting a spouse a spouse is first regardless Of who doesn't likes it When you marry you are one no longer two meaning if thigs have to get done financially it comes from both spouses why should a spouse help a family member out when they are getting disrespected so much it's crazy and to all the controlling inlaws they need to back off it may be your child first no one is taking that away but the fact that the adult child chooses to marry doesn't give their family the right to meddle and be disrespectful its sad and people need to be very careful about how they treat people it's also very selfish if you love s yur child you would want to see them happy. And the same goes for the spouse to not divide any family members unless they are being disrespectful then boudares have to be set and followed. First of all I feel when you marry a husband the relationship is between GOD the husband and wife yes you marry into the famiy but by no means is anyone obligated to have contact if there’s such a dislike for a spouse then the hubby or the wife should keep their relationship with there spouse between the two under no circumstances should the spouse of either side tolerate disrespect from a family member to their spouse it should be addressed if inlaws have a problem they should stay away especially if when they come to visit or call they are disrespecting a spouse a spouse is first regardless Of who doesn’t likes it When you marry you are one no longer two meaning if thigs have to get done financially it comes from both spouses why should a spouse help a family member out when they are getting disrespected so much it’s crazy and to all the controlling inlaws they need to back off it may be your child first no one is taking that away but the fact that the adult child chooses to marry doesn’t give their family the right to meddle and be disrespectful its sad and people need to be very careful about how they treat people it’s also very selfish if you love s yur child you would want to see them happy. And the same goes for the spouse to not divide any family members unless they are being disrespectful then boudares have to be set and followed.

]]> By: Les http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-3/#comment-43744 Les Mon, 14 May 2012 16:05:35 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43744 Caityn, I met my husband many years ago, and I married him. The mother in law did not like me, still does not like me, she has given all sorts of made up stories, and altered the truth. When we had our first child she informed my huabnd that he shold get a blood test to see if the child was in fact his child. SHe had no grounds for saying such a thing. I dont know what to tell you to do, but speaking from experience, judge things for yourself. I had no one to talk to and it was hurtful. Good Luck.L Caityn,

I met my husband many years ago, and I married him. The mother in law did not like me, still does not like me, she has given all sorts of made up stories, and altered the truth. When we had our first child she informed my huabnd that he shold get a blood test to see if the child was in fact his child. SHe had no grounds for saying such a thing. I dont know what to tell you to do, but speaking from experience, judge things for yourself. I had no one to talk to and it was hurtful. Good Luck.L

]]> By: Les http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-3/#comment-43741 Les Mon, 14 May 2012 15:53:25 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43741 I also want to say, over the years she has really not wanted to have anything to do with us, and she has no reason. She is just cold and mean spirited. I also realze it was not their to do anything to support us. But whenever thye have needed us to be of support, we have been there even with all the drama.But ML called my husband offered to assist when he was ill and out of work. It was after she collected lots of information about his situation, then she refused to do anything! SHe is a confusing woman. I also want to say, over the years she has really not wanted to have anything to do with us, and she has no reason. She is just cold and mean spirited. I also realze it was not their to do anything to support us. But whenever thye have needed us to be of support, we have been there even with all the drama.But ML called my husband offered to assist when he was ill and out of work. It was after she collected lots of information about his situation, then she refused to do anything! SHe is a confusing woman.

]]> By: Les http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-2/#comment-43740 Les Mon, 14 May 2012 15:48:13 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43740 Also over the years, my husband did allow some of her behavior. He would try to speak with her, and it did no good. It doe not make anyone feel good to have a person dislike you and have nothing to do with ones children cause she does not like you. I think some of it is mental concerns, that she never had addressed. ML's marrage did not last as she got married on teh rebound. Also over the years, my husband did allow some of her behavior. He would try to speak with her, and it did no good. It doe not make anyone feel good to have a person dislike you and have nothing to do with ones children cause she does not like you. I think some of it is mental concerns, that she never had addressed. ML’s marrage did not last as she got married on teh rebound.

]]> By: Les http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-2/#comment-43737 Les Mon, 14 May 2012 15:40:28 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43737 I want to know if I am dealing with this in the wrong way. I have had problems with my husbands mother for years. She has lied on me in the past, has given so much disrepsect over the years, even for her own son. To get into this would take so much ime, and I dont have the time right now. Her is waht happened. My father in law died last year suddenly. He lived on his own and had left my mother in law years ago. Well during this time my husband ill and out of work. We could get no help from my husbands family, none. However my husbands mother di call me up to speak to me in a terbbile manner and to inform me what she would not assist. Okay, when my father in law passed, she and he toehr three children took everything. My husband did not get anything at all to remember his dad. There is so much to this story, you would not believe. well here it is mothers day and my husbands mother forwarded paperwork for my husband to give her all rights whatever else esle is left. The information is dated may10th that she went to the court to have this forwarded to us, by registered mail. My husabnd and I are clueless, and we do not know how to proceed. My father in law died with no will. What does she want from us. SHe has been horrible over the years. The social skilss for my husbands family is little to none. I hav tried over the years to just deal with it. But no more. Let me know what to do, there is more. I want to know if I am dealing with this in the wrong way. I have had problems with my husbands mother for years. She has lied on me in the past, has given so much disrepsect over the years, even for her own son. To get into this would take so much ime, and I dont have the time right now. Her is waht happened. My father in law died last year suddenly. He lived on his own and had left my mother in law years ago. Well during this time my husband ill and out of work. We could get no help from my husbands family, none. However my husbands mother di call me up to speak to me in a terbbile manner and to inform me what she would not assist. Okay, when my father in law passed, she and he toehr three children took everything. My husband did not get anything at all to remember his dad. There is so much to this story, you would not believe. well here it is mothers day and my husbands mother forwarded paperwork for my husband to give her all rights whatever else esle is left. The information is dated may10th that she went to the court to have this forwarded to us, by registered mail. My husabnd and I are clueless, and we do not know how to proceed. My father in law died with no will. What does she want from us. SHe has been horrible over the years. The social skilss for my husbands family is little to none. I hav tried over the years to just deal with it. But no more. Let me know what to do, there is more.

]]> By: Kay http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-2/#comment-43303 Kay Sun, 06 May 2012 20:44:52 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43303 I also forgot to say that im an english size 10 so i dont see how im over weight I also forgot to say that im an english size 10 so i dont see how im over weight

]]> By: Kay http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-2/#comment-43302 Kay Sun, 06 May 2012 20:34:26 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43302 Hi All, I too have a monster mil, only i would say she has hit new levels to some of yours. She calls me by my husbands ex's name, she has put underwear under our bed pillows thats neither hers or mine. She has dropped hints that im over weight she even sent me an email 3 days after our daughter was born saying i needed to lose weight, not to mention the fact that she totaly ruined the birth by causing rows with my husband, mother and mid-wife. She would ignore my daughter unless her husband was there. She put a hat over my daughters head and said her ears didnt need to get any bigger. Then she was calling her the wrong name saying we were pronouncing it wrong, it is my grans name so i should know how to say it. we house shared and we paid all the bills. They kicked us out 2 weeks after my daughter was born. My friend came over to see me and the baby who was 2 days old and she sat in my bedroom all day didnt even offer to make a drink. I have had abuse shouted at me through the internal door that seperates living area which they keep a key to and came and went as they pleased. She put a citric anti-bark spray collar on my dog, use to hit her, put her in the bin and shut her in a dark cupboard. I had to leave the house everyday from 8am to my husband was home from work. I use to shake and almost faint when i needed to use the bathroom in case she got me. I was and still am scared of her and my hubbys dad. There is so much i want to say, i understand how all of you feel, my hubby gets along so well with my family i never imagined that this would happen. We have now moved out and away and we dont allow any contact with us and our daughter however they still managed to find us and still keep pestering us. we no longer speak to them but she still sends abusive emails regualry and only trhis moning she left my hubby a voicemail as a parcel has been sent there for him, could he collect it when we went they refuse to give us it. Im at a loss still. My hair had started to fall out in clumps it is still patching but im getting there. Ladies hold your heads hi because our men picked us to share their lives with, they didnt pick there parents! Hi All, I too have a monster mil, only i would say she has hit new levels to some of yours. She calls me by my husbands ex’s name, she has put underwear under our bed pillows thats neither hers or mine. She has dropped hints that im over weight she even sent me an email 3 days after our daughter was born saying i needed to lose weight, not to mention the fact that she totaly ruined the birth by causing rows with my husband, mother and mid-wife. She would ignore my daughter unless her husband was there. She put a hat over my daughters head and said her ears didnt need to get any bigger. Then she was calling her the wrong name saying we were pronouncing it wrong, it is my grans name so i should know how to say it. we house shared and we paid all the bills. They kicked us out 2 weeks after my daughter was born. My friend came over to see me and the baby who was 2 days old and she sat in my bedroom all day didnt even offer to make a drink. I have had abuse shouted at me through the internal door that seperates living area which they keep a key to and came and went as they pleased. She put a citric anti-bark spray collar on my dog, use to hit her, put her in the bin and shut her in a dark cupboard. I had to leave the house everyday from 8am to my husband was home from work. I use to shake and almost faint when i needed to use the bathroom in case she got me. I was and still am scared of her and my hubbys dad. There is so much i want to say, i understand how all of you feel, my hubby gets along so well with my family i never imagined that this would happen. We have now moved out and away and we dont allow any contact with us and our daughter however they still managed to find us and still keep pestering us. we no longer speak to them but she still sends abusive emails regualry and only trhis moning she left my hubby a voicemail as a parcel has been sent there for him, could he collect it when we went they refuse to give us it. Im at a loss still. My hair had started to fall out in clumps it is still patching but im getting there. Ladies hold your heads hi because our men picked us to share their lives with, they didnt pick there parents!

]]> By: Brian D http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/mother-in-law-problems-how-to-cope-with-toxic-in-laws/comment-page-2/#comment-43066 Brian D Wed, 02 May 2012 22:16:01 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2990#comment-43066 CZ4ever, I know what u r going thru. My MIL is so mean and hateful. She puts on a front infront of ppl and tries to be miss perfect. She thinks she knows everything about everything and she makes up stuff about me to make me look bad. U cant talk to her about these problems cause she is right and I wrong. She doesnt like it that I do most of my work from home and thinks I should answer to her. My wife(her daugther) and I r so sick of her crazy controling ways we r now saving money to move away where we can live n peace. As long as we r around this lady we will never be happy CZ4ever,
I know what u r going thru. My MIL is so mean and hateful. She puts on a front infront of ppl and tries to be miss perfect. She thinks she knows everything about everything and she makes up stuff about me to make me look bad. U cant talk to her about these problems cause she is right and I wrong. She doesnt like it that I do most of my work from home and thinks I should answer to her. My wife(her daugther) and I r so sick of her crazy controling ways we r now saving money to move away where we can live n peace. As long as we r around this lady we will never be happy

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