Funny Quotes From Kids About Love and Marriage
These thoughts on love from kids aren’t just funny – they’re perfect for wedding speeches, anniversary toasts, and even birthday cards!
Whether you’re looking for a funny quote to accompany a 40th birthday gift or a wedding toast, you’ll find something to make someone smile in these quotes.
These children’s quotes about love range from what single people do on a first date to why married couples hold hands…
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On the proper age to get married:
- “Eighty-four, because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)
- “Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” (Tom, 5)
What do people do on a first date? This is an especially funny quote about love:
- “On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 9)
Funny children’s quotes about when it’s okay to kiss someone:
- “You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)
- “Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)
- “It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you…that’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)
Is it better to be single or married? This is a funny quote about love:
- “It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)
- “It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)
Kids’ thoughts on love and why it happens between two particular people:
- “No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)
- “I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)
The question, “What’s falling in love like?” can reveal funny quotes about love:
- “Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)
- “If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)
Kids’ thoughts on love and good looks:
- “If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)
- “It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me, I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)
- “Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)
A funny child’s quote on why lovers hold hands:
- “They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.” (Dave, 8)
What do you really think of love? Some funny quotes about love for wedding speeches:
- “I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when “The Simpsons” is on television.” (Anita, 6)
- “Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8)
- “I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)
Kids’ thoughts on the personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:
- “One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of true love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8) What a funny quote about love!
Kids’ thoughts on love and ways to make someone fall in love with you (great for wedding speeches):
- “Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)
- “Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)
- “One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me.” (Bart, 9)
How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?
- “Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)
- “Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Brad, 8)
- “It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are on fire.” (Christine, 9)
What are most people thinking when they say, “I love you”?
- “The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)
Funny quotes about love and learning to kiss (more great quotes for wedding speeches):
- “You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)
- “It might help to watch soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)
Kids’ thoughts on the stages of love, particularly good for both anniversary toasts and wedding speeches:
- “Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)
- “Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy, 8)
The source of these funny quotes about love is The Psi Cafe, from 2008. That was 10 years ago, so I can’t offer the precise link.
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