Comments on: 7 Signs Your Marriage May Be Over http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship Mon, 20 May 2013 15:38:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Laurie http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-80452 Laurie Mon, 29 Apr 2013 22:53:56 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-80452 Dear Melissa,

Thank you for being here! I wish I could wave my magic wand and make things better, but…I have no magic or wands.

I wrote this for you:

How to See What’s Wrong With Your Marriage

I welcome your thoughts!

]]> By: Melissa http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-80311 Melissa Mon, 29 Apr 2013 04:05:56 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-80311 My husbands job is going to ruin our marriage. He travels constantly and three weeks at a time, at the most. If you add all the weeks of his traveling, due to his job, he is gone approximately 5-6 months out of the year and that makes me very unhappy. Onthe other hand, even though he knows how I feel, he doesn’t seem to mind it at all and seems to be just fine with it. I actually think he likes the traveling part because he gets to see different parts of the United States and perhaps other parts of the world, in the near future. The sad part about it is that his previous job pays the same and he gets benefits as well….he just doesn’t travel and is home everyday from work. He doesn’t care how I feel or the fact that our 11 year old has a hard time with it as well. He does sound selfish in that regards and I don’t even feel as if its a marriage anymore. There is communication, but there isn’t understanding. I feel as if given the ultimatum, he would chose his job over family. To make matters worse, there is no trust. He cheated on me many times, over the Internet, and was thinking about meeting random ladies on dating websites for sex. This was a few years ago, so how am I supposed to trust him when he’s away? He says he isn’t cheating on me and that’s all in the past. But, I still can’t get over it and his business trips drive me crazy. My mind plays tricks on me and I’m just not happy. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. The love is gone. Everything is just gone. Nothing has been the same and I fear we’ll never get anything back….even after 13 years of marriage! I keep waiting and waiting and nothing changes.

]]> By: Laurie http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-79695 Laurie Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:52:33 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-79695 I wish I could wave my magic wand and give you all the best advice on your marriage and life, but I can’t. I can’t keep up with the comments! Plus, I don’t know your situations well enough to give you informed, wise advice.

But I do have a question for you: If you could wake up tomorrow with a totally different life, what would it look like? Who would you be with, what would you be doing, and where would you live?

]]> By: Courtney http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-78207 Courtney Sun, 07 Apr 2013 19:00:47 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-78207 Hi. Me and my husband have only been married for a little over 2 years. I think I plunged in too quickly. We only have 1 child together and I have a child before he came along. I’m the one always doing everything. I only work part time. I do all of the cleaning around our house, taking the trash out, washing clothes, etc. he complains after work if the house isn’t up to par, but yet doesn’t put in any hand to help clean it. He complains about not having anything to wear, because he’s too lazy to wash his own clothes when they run out. Anytime I want to go hand out with my friends, it’s always a fight, and I end up not going. I never get to do anything. I’m bored sitting at home, so I play on Facebook, he complains about that. So I started reading books. He’s complaining about that now also. After reading 50 shades of grey, I’ve realized I don’t have that love feeling. I feel like I have more of a settlement agreement. We are only intimate with each other maybe once a month, and it’s my fault because that whole feeling is just not there anymore. I don’t have butterflies, I don’t get excited, nothing. I honestly feel that if he told me he wanted to divorce me right now, I’d laugh and say thank God. To me, the marriage is over pretty much. What do you think?

]]> By: Laurie http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-78140 Laurie Sat, 06 Apr 2013 16:41:27 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-78140 Dear Suzy,

I’m sorry to hear how your husband has changed. The problem is that you can’t save your marriage all by yourself! You can’t change his behaviour or attitude, or make him become the husband you deserve.

If divorce is not an option (and for many women, it isn’t), then you need to figure out a way to be happy in your marriage the way it is today. You need to accept your husband for who he is, and find different ways to get the love and gratification you deserve.

What are some other ways you can be happy in your life?

]]> By: Laurie http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-78104 Laurie Fri, 05 Apr 2013 13:59:39 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-78104 Hello Carol,

What a dilemma! It sounds like you and your husband have been talking (arguing) about this for a long time.

Here are my thoughts:

http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/should-you-move-to-the-country-or-stay-in-city/

Let me know what you think.

Also – have you talked your dilemma through with a marriage counsellor? Getting a professional, objective opinion may help both you and your husband see things differently. More clearly.

Blessings,
Laurie

]]> By: suzy http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-78009 suzy Tue, 02 Apr 2013 09:55:17 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-78009 My husband is not interested in having sex with me anymore. When there is a fight, he always says” Isn’t it enoough for me to bear you and bear your big mouth” He repeats this comment a lot. He is not interested in going out with me and children as we used to be in the past. I take the children all by myself. He comes from work and he is on facebook till very late at night. when I approach him for intimate relationship, sometimes he says I am tired. I am the one who always approach him In my country it is not easy to ask for a divorce. I have kids. He spends money on them. I don’t think I am going to have another relationship with anybody. How am I going to save this marriage? He has changed.

]]> By: Carol http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-77672 Carol Mon, 25 Mar 2013 17:38:09 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-77672 Laurie, I have been marriage of 27 years. We have no children. My husband is older than me and is looking at retirement in approximately three years. I am not even close to thinking of same. We have a home in the country, he is always asking me to move from the city and find a new job in the country. We have a small place in the city. I have had my job for 25 years and am not wanting to leave my job; I love my job. My husband is extremely upset with me regarding this. I told him that IF I moved to the country leaving my secure job and he got hit by a bus, I would sell our country home and move back to the city. Of course if this happens I would lose my secure job and start at the bottom. In the country there are virtually no jobs aside from Tim Hortons or McDonalds to work at. This does not make sense to me. I have fifteen years until my retirement. This has been an ongoing argument/disagreement for too many years to count. We love each other but I am really reaching my ceiling in this regard and for that matter so is he. Any suggestions?

]]> By: Nadia http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-77605 Nadia Sun, 24 Mar 2013 03:32:00 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-77605 My husband is a really great guy and father, unless your married to him. Friends, family members, hell, the person down the street gets more priority in the line of importance than I do. We have never been on a honeymoon, or go out of town together. I can count the number of times we have gone out to eat together on one hand, and that includes before our son was born. He is now 5. I have come to the conclusion that he must be embarressed to be seen with me or something. I have stayed married for our son, but I have finally decided that I am finished. I am going to file for legal seperation next month and move on with my life. I am pretty sure that there is someone out there who may actually aknowlege that I exist. If not, I would rather be lonely by myself, than be lonely with my husband sitting next to me.

]]> By: John http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/is-my-marriage-over-ways-to-tell-if-your-spouse-is-ending-the-relationship/comment-page-9/#comment-76684 John Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:36:42 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2142#comment-76684 Had been married for about 10 years. Have three beautiful kids all under the age of 10. Future ex wife filed for divorce and did not talk. The manipulation game worked for her for it drew the worst out of a good man that pleaded to keep his family together. We were on the brink of re-building our marriage through counseling, but future ex wife wrecked a family. We never committed adultery, fought through anger, called each other names, nothing. No alcohol or drug abuse. My eldest daughter has been devastated. So hard to see your kids cry and plead for their mommy and daddy to stay together. I never wanted such an outcome of a 10 year marriage. Things moved so fast over the first 7 years with several children born, loss of job linked to the shitty economy took a toll on my and my future ex wife. I developed depression over the last year of marriage of which made family tough. I received appropriate care for my depression and I looked up to my wife at the time for much needed support. With wife starting a business, me staying at home with the kids while trying to gain access to job opportunities, I was spent. I did some recharging by protecting myself from the negativity that spewed from my wife over the last several months of marriage. I needed to regain my individuality that I lost trying to serve a woman that was controlling and very self serving. Overall, we both made some minor mistakes in our marriage that went noticed – meaning all of the negative baggage was carried to the point of filing for divorce instead of FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE THINGS THAT YOUR PARTNER BRINGS TO THE MARRIAGE! We failed to communicate effectively and truly trusting each other. I made a game out of the situation that was worsened by my attitude to make the situation worse. Depression is a bastard for I just wasn’t myself during the depression days. Now I have a bit of a clearer mindset as the depression fades with time and much self reflection. I do still find myself very alone…pondering the what ifs at times…but for the most part, I often wonder what could have been. Our divorce process has been pretty boring. My future ex wife doesn’t speak to me and hasn’t since the divorce filing. I often wonder about reconciliation, but due to the current communication state, I feel that reconciliation is no longer an opportunity. Now that I see my kids 4 days per month, I have lost connection with them. I no longer think about them as much as I did when I was at home. I pick em up and two of them want to stay with mom…I take em home and they run after the car crying for their dad. Oh well, kids will be affected, but that is the way of the future ex wife.

]]>