Comments on: Is It Too Late to Fix Your Relationship? It Depends…

By: Laurie

Laurie — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 23:10:15 +0000

Dear John,

I started writing you back in this comments section, and then realized I had too much to say!

Here’s my answer for you:

http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/helping-your-partner-cope-with-cancer-diagnosis/

I know you didn’t say you were diagnosed with cancer, but I wanted to make the article helpful to others as well as you.

I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts.

Blessings,
Laurie

By: John

John — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 15:19:47 +0000

Hi there Laurie, I don’t know what to do anymore these days. I met who I thought was the nicest woman around a few years ago. A few months back she moved in to take care of me as I have a terminal illness. She says I treat her very badly but I don’t believe that I am that sort of person. Every observer that is outside of the relationship loves me for the person I am. A lot of the time when we disagree on something she will just scream at me and I feel like whatever I have to say is invalidated. She says I don’t help out enough with day to day things. I have offered several times to help out but every time I do this, my partner knocks me back so I don’t keep asking. We fight over what I consider to be many trivial issues. I have never said to her that I am perfect and I am more than happy to apologise if and when I am wrong to try and make things right. All I wanted to do was die with some dignity and spend whatever time I have left doing fun things with the woman I love. I don’t know how long I have left to live with the illness, but it wears me out physically and I find myself not coping on that level when I am so stressed out. It also feels that I am in a situation where I am the one who has to do all the work on the relationship and change the person I am so that she is pleased with me. I don’t feel that this is being reciprocated. I end up spending a lot of time in bed as I stay awake at night worrying about how I am going to fail her the next day. I try to rekindle the romance that we used to have together. I’ve offered to take her and the children on a family holiday, even a cruise to a tropical island like hawaii or fiji. It seriously breaks my heart to know this may never come to pass, it was one of my dreams fos us to do this together before I didn’t have the physical strength any longer. She still won’t come with me though.

By: E.T

E.T — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 16:11:57 +0000

i been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years we have two kids together,a year ago things happened, that should of happened not once but two times and now i moved so far away from my family and i forgave him for the one thing that he did but after a year i found out that he did something with someone that he told me that they were just friend.
this happens a year ago and he said that they were friend .(a year ago he move to get a job to better our life we were away from each other for six month and we talked on the phone and i ever went up and we went house hunting it was good.one day before we moved he called and say he didn’t thing it was a good thing if we moved but we work it out )then i found this out i don’t know what to do. he said that he loves me and is willing to do anything to fix this, but now i feel that I’m his last choose and I’m not wroth anything,we had a bad year with try to overcome the other thing but now we have to overcome this don’t know what to do or think but here the caught i found a message to his sis on Facebook about his ex and this was a year ago saying that he is think on going back to her.but then the next message said, what was he think ,e.t is so good to me. don’t know what to do or feel anymore
I’m mad, sad and feel stupid very unwanted need some direction.

By: Faith L Engen

Faith L Engen — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 16:05:28 +0000

Me and my boyfriend have been on and off for over a year now. I truly feel in my heart that we were meant for each other but he keeps having inappropiate conversations with other women. I confront him about it and he says hell stop and hes sorry for hurting me but the same thing keeps happening. he said hes been trying but for some reason he cannot stop. Should I just let him go or is there a way we can work on this together? Our sex life is great, we live together, play together. Overall we have a good relationship. But the conversations feels like betrayal to me and its now to the point where its on my mind everyday and its ruining our relationship. He said he thinks its best if he leaves because he cant keep hurting me. But there must be a way we can work on this together. I love this man with all my heart. Itd save me a bunch of hurt if he just left, but I cant seem to let go of him. Please help

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 16:14:44 +0000

Hi I been in relationship for 9 years we have no kids and we don’t live with each other nomore. being with him I found out I have a disability were my motor skills are gone. I can’t run, jog, ride a bike, dance, and sometimes I trip over my feet when I walk ect. I don’t really want to split up but sometimes I think it’s a matter of time it’s gonna happen we argue alot about the same stuff over and over like are relationship. He don’t want to talk nomore about it. I could understand. it gets so stressful and tiring. Here for the last couple of days I been calling him alot because I don’t want him to be mad at me. I feel like I bug him too much. I did yell at him alot and I wanted to stop but now he won’t give me the chance. If we do spilt up I’m a scared that I will be lonely for the rest of my life and I love him so much. We had so long of time invested in this relationship I don’t want it to end. HELP!

By: Kathy

Kathy — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 14:24:26 +0000

Hi, Ive been with this guy for 9 years and out of those 9 weve been married 3.Just this past year we have had problems.Hes very french and sometmes the communication between us is really poor.I try and explain things to him but he refuses to listen.Hes not a big talker but seems to have time to talk to our dogs and cuddle with them and not me.Sounds stupid right.I bought him flowers the other day and he couldn’t care less.He says hes happy with the relationship but his actions tell me other wise.Theres alot more to all this but I do not have the time right now to get into it.I want my marriage but not like this.Im considering moving out to give us space.HELP!!!!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 02:22:23 +0000

I need some help me and my boyfriend dont spend most time together and its been like this for almost a year now. he spend most of his day playing WoW. I have asked him to spend a little more time with me like walking for a nice and talking. he dont want to…” Another time I have asked him to help me with something he told me he will later. when I go back and him a few hours later he got all upset with me and start telling I never asked him for help he grabbed and held on the bed he start to hit me hitting my top lip making it bleed and hitting me on the side of my face. Am I doing the right thing staying with and trying to make this work?

By: Daniel Southerland

Daniel Southerland — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 04:40:55 +0000

So me and my girlfriend of 2 years have been arguing A LOT lately and it might be because shes pregnant, but every time we do… she always says im the one who doesn’t care or is acting like a d***. I don’t know what to do to help fix this! I want to fix things to make it to where we dont argue as much and we’re happy! I mean we get home from school at 7:30 and i do everything, make her food, clean bathroom for shower, even do dishes, all so she can lay down and relax… but she yells at me all the time… i dont know what to do!!

By: chris

chris — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 14:13:35 +0000

Thanks, my marriage has gone through a rought ime recently, but you have given me some ideas to help to work through our problems together.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 23:50:27 +0000

have a 10 yr old daughter & my boyfriend has an 18 yr old daughter & 16 yr old son. We have been together for 5 yrs & due to living 45 minutes apart, we only see each other on the weekends & talk on the phone everynight before we go to bed. His kids & ex-wife are ruining our relationship.
He has been divorced for almost 14 yrs & is a full time father & mother to his kids. His ex had cheated on him during their entire marriage including sleeping with his best friend during a BBQ at their house. He found out about her marital affairs because she used their credit cards to pay for the rooms. His kids primarily live with him only seeing her every other weekend & 2 days during the week after school for a couple of hours. She has very little interest in her kids unless it benefits her. Usually when she’s trying to impress a guy. So he makes up for it by spoiling them & they get everything that they want. He states it’s to make up for how their mother is to them. His daughter stopped going over there a year after we started dating (which I never minded). She will only hang out with her mother when his ex’s is buying her something. His son will only go there if he is not hanging out with his friends, but when he does go its only to go across the street & stays at his brother’s house (her son from previous marriage). Their mother is always buying his son things & really doesn’t do that for his daughter. My boyfriend & his ex hardly ever spoke & when they did it was always a fight. She had started dating someone a couple of months before I met my boyfriend.
Everything was going great for the 1st 3 yrs. of our relationship. We would have our ‘kids’ free weekend & when we had our kids we were always doing things as a family until his kids started getting older. I would suggest doing something & he would state that his kids are older & would rather hangout with their friends instead so we would just do things with my daughter. After sometime, I would start asking his kids to do things with us. His son always wanted to hangout with his friends & his daughter would sometimes go out with us. His daughter started becoming very mean to my daughter & here she admitted that she was jealous of the attention that my daughter was receiving from him.
Even though his daughter stopped going over to her mothers, she would be out with her friends. We would then take a night to go out & hangout with our friends. On the way home, if we would fight I would tell him to end it when we were pulling up to the house because his daughter would be home & she didn’t need to be apart of it. Unfortunatley, he would continue & made her apart of it by telling her about our arguments which put a strike against me. She started becoming rude & ignorant to me. I was only good enough when my wallet was being opened up for her. I have always had a good relationship with his son.
2 years ago, his ex-wife’s boyfriend moved to Kentucky due to his job. After he moved, she wanted to be buddies with my boyfriend & starting problems. She plays her game by starting to take an interest in her kids especially her daughter & he falls for it thinking that she is finally going to be a mother — which never happens. About 6 months after her boyfriend left, she announced she was moving to Kentucky. She had called their son on the phone & stated ‘Your father has a life, you kids have a life & I don’t. Since my life moved to Kentucky, I am moving there’. His son was devastated & his daughter hated her even more. Before she moved, that guy ended it with her & that is when things started going downhill. She would say things to cause my boyfriend & I to fight. One thing my boyfriend always states is that she plays her games. I know she doesn’t want him, but she also doesn’t want him to move forward in his life.
His daughter graduated on my 40th birthday. The graduation party was being thrown at his/our house. His ex-wife played her game that night pretending to be the best mother & acted as though it was her home. Flirting with him & hanging all over his friends. She was even planning to leave the party with his best friend that she had slept with during their marriage. After everyone had left the party, except for her, his best friend & another friend. I got sucked into her game she started a fight with me & things were said. We were in an altercation. I ended up walking out on him the next day & cleared my things out of his house.
After a couple of weeks went by, we decided to work things out. I explained to him that I want to take it slow & work on things. He throws it in my face how I should have never packed up my things. Now his ex keeps saying things to his kids to have them hate me. I love my boyfriend & his kids & honestly just don’t know what to do to get things back on track with his kids. He had a previous relationship with a woman if 4 yrs that walked out on him because of them