Aug 212008
 

Yes, you can make a bad relationships better – especially if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves and dig in. These tips for fixing relationship problems will help you fall in love all over again!

Before the tips, here’s one of my favorite quips:

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last — more than passion or even sex.” ~ Simone Signoret.

The stronger your threads are, the better your relationship or marriage will be.

One of the most popular relationship improvement books on Amazon is How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. The authors (Love and Stosny) say talking things out isn’t always the best way to improve a bad relationship or achieve more connection and closeness.

So, zip your lips and read these tips!

10 Tips for Improving a Bad Relationship

Untangle money issues – they contribute to couples problems

“Often, when couples argue about money, it’s not money that’s the problem,” says William Harley, PhD, author of His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. “Instead, the money fights are a byproduct of relationship neglect.”

Money can become a weapon when one spouse uses the other’s spending habits as ammunition or when a spouse spends money to get even. To improve a bad relationship, figure out exactly what you’re arguing about — especially if you tend to fight about money.

Take risks together, as a couple

Trying new things together, such as sky diving or learning about astronomy, unites you as a couple. Psychology professor Leaf Van Boven from the University of Colorado explains that happiness is found in what you do (not what you buy) because experiences are open to positive reinterpretations, become a meaningful part of your identity, and contribute to a happy marriage or relationship.

Learn how to express anger

Expressing anger and resolving conflict not only improve a bad relationship and keeps your love alive, it also lengthens your life span. “When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict,” says Ernest Harburg, researcher and professor emeritus at the University of Michigan. “Usually nobody is trained to do this.” His research reveals that couples who suppress anger are twice as likely to face early death as those who express it.

Commit to checking in with each other every day

“Commit to checking in with each other every day – or at least a few times a week without distractions,” says Marriage and Family Counselor Lisa Brookes Kift. “Marriages often get “dry” when couples get busy and don’t prioritize each other and get a read or take the pulse of how the other is feeling.”

This tip for improving a bad relationship will help you stay committed.

Find reasons to laugh (laughter is a surprising fix for couples problems!)

Kift also suggest “cracking each other up” with  stupid pet names, funny looks, and private jobs. Humor binds couples together and de-escalating conflict.  It also demonstrates friendship in the marriage, which is very important.

Stop criticizing, stonewalling, and being defensive in your relationship

Be mindful of criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness.  If a lot of any or all of these exist in a marriage – research has shown that the chances are much higher for divorce. Criticism and contempt do not keep love alive; in fact, it’ll thwart your relationship goals for good.

Remember your romantic beginnings

“To improve a bad relationship, visualize the person you dated and married,” says psychologist Bruce Eimer. “Remember that person is still alive inside of him. The stressors and tribulations of life may have made that inner goodness hard to see. But, if you can remember who you fell in love with, you’ll improve your marriage.”

Appreciate your partner – be grateful for your love

Look at your husband and take a moment to appreciate all of the things that he does for you and gives you.  You may in fact want to express your appreciation for him verbally and/or non-verbally. To keep your relationship strong, tell your husband what you like about him and watch him beam.  You’ll beam too!

Keep your intimate life alive and healthy

Knowing how to say “I love you” in small daily acts of love will improve a bad relationship. Making one day a week a special day–a day during which to schedule a “goody time” — can help your marriage.  This can be any shared activity that you both can appreciate (such as a dinner out, going to the movies, etc.).

If you struggle to express love, read 80 Ways to Say “I Love You”.

Keep communicating

Research shows that contempt and holding back communication are harbingers of marital trouble and potential failure. So, find things about your spouse to appreciate and respect, and don’t stonewall.  To improve a bad relationship, you need to keep talking, touching, and connecting with each other.

If you have a hard time standing up for yourself, read How to Say No to Your Boyfriend.

If you have any questions or thoughts on improving a bad relationship, please share below…

 

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  90 Responses to “10 Tips for Improving a Bad Relationship”

  1. Hi,

    Me and my BF have been together for 5 years. We have a daughter whom is 4 years old. Our relationship is at a very bad stage at the moment and i dont know what to do…

    We broke up after 2 years for 3 months. we got back together. A year later we broke up again for 6 months. He came back every time saying that he missed me and relized that he loves me…

    But over the weekend i found out that he messaged another girl, becouse he found out she was seeing someone. I confronted both of them, she indicated that she doensnt want my man, and he indicated that it was only a flirt message as he thought it was harmless fun. They have a bit of a history so i am scared that they have unresloved feelings for eachother.

    When we spoke about it he said that he loves me but also feels that he wants to be single. He says every guy has a part of him that still wants to be single. We have decided now to try again and make this relationship work. But I dont know if he is saying this just to not hurt me and then will continue to taxt this other woman… We fight alot about things and i know i can be a real B***** but i dont want to loose the father of my child becouse i do really love him alot.

    But how can i believe him when he says that he has no feelings for her… as he has lied alot about things in the pass…

    I am torn between wanting to make this work and just leaving him and just be happy, but i know i will never be really happy eithout him…

    He is saying things like, he feels that i am controlling him, and he cant do what he wants and always has to explaine and ask me before he can do anything….

    he said maybe he is just not the type of guy for a relationship….

    What should I do….

    Please help

  2. Hello,

    I have been with my wife for 15 years, but only married 2 years now. We have 2 kids together, and the realtionship was great. I need help on what to do. Over the years I’ve changed alot aswell as she did, but I’m the only one (from her) that needs correction in my ways after we gotten married. We had a huge fight last night, and this has been on-going for about a year now about everything I do seems to be wrong to her. I’ve told her all I do is change for you, but the things you spoke about changing never happened. She told me it was over last night because of I told her I am tired of her commanding me to do things but she never owns up to hers. Things got really heated, shouting matches back and forth, she told me she never wants to talk to me again, and she wants a divorce. She also said I have too much anger towards her, aswell as she has towards me. She hasn’t spoken to me all day, and ignores my calls and emails. Is there any fixing this after 15 years together??? Can someone just give up on a relationship that’s been in it this long, so quickly???? PLEASE I NEED HELP! We both have said alot of hurtful things to each other, but I LOVE HER SO MUCH, and want my family to stay together.

  3. Hi,
    When my bf and I started dating two years ago everything was great….he was a nice guy and we had evryhting in common there was nothing we couldn’t talk about.he was honestly happy I chose to be with him. …but that all quickly changed after I gave birth to our son and became a stay at home mom…..I suffered from really bad post partum depression and I gained a lot of weight……and now its like he dosent love me anymore he makes comments about my weight my hair and my whole over all look and when i get mad he says oh your so sensitive……i shouldnt be with someone who makes me feel bad but right now its hard to find work and i have no where to go…..what should i do?

  4. I have a boyfriend and have been dating for about a week now, and he said that he doesn’t care if we tell people about our realationship, so did I, but he acts like it’s a HUGE secret!!! Can you help me a little bit???

  5. *Remember your romantic beginnings

    Yes. Some people thing it’s cheesy to relive that first date or celebrate different types of anniversaries, but those kinds of events, however cheesy, can often go a long way towards providing more glue that holds your relationship together.

  6. Hello,

    I have been with my husband now a total of 14 years, married for 10 of those years. We have 4 children together 12, 11, 6, and 14 months. I stopped working last year when my employer went out of business which in a way kind of benefit me. My husband opened his own barber shop last year as well and things have been going great for his business. I guess my biggest problem is that he makes me feel like I don’t exist. I am always busy with the kids and I know he is busy as well but I can’t remember the last time he actually wanted to spend time with me or even the kids. When he comes home from work he does play with them but that is for only about an hour if that because he gets home late. On his day off Ill suggest that we should go to lunch or something while the kids are at school and its like he would rather go fishing or just stay home or visit his parents. He his planning on visiting his brother and sister next month by himself they live 8 hours away. When to me in reality I think he should spend some time with me and our kids. I don’t know if its just me being selfish but I don’t like the unwanted and feeling alone, ignored, and empty feeling. Ive tried talking to him and talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. Any advise would be much appreciated. Thanks!

  7. I made a huge stupid mistake and I threw away my chances by lying to my girlfriend. I’d do anything to get her back. I’d do literally anything the part that makes it hard for me. Is that I only have four hours to fix all the stupid shit that I cause. I’m not sure whose been more hurt by what I did. Me or her. Honestly if I could take back what I did. I would. I mean to me it doesn’t sound like she cares at all anymore. But she has offered to give me 4 hours she says if it goes well we can work it out but I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m heart broken by it all I haven’t eaten in days. I haven’t slept in about a week I constantly feel sick. I can’t get her off my mind. She is my world. I adore her. I shouldn’t have done all the stuff I did. All I want is to prove to her how I’m a changed man and how I would do anything for her. But that’s really hard to show. I’m a terrible person for what I did. I just want a way to make it up to her so even if she decides I’m not worth it at least I tried. I mean one day I want to marry this girl and grow old with her and be able to see her radiant smile every day honestly her smile melts my heart. She is my world. I know I’m young (20) and I know she is young (18) but she is my world and at this point in my life I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love her. Can you please help me all I want is to be better for her and be the man I should be and not the boy I was acting like.

  8. I do not understand my husband. He is so inconsiderate when it comes down to me. When we met, he wined and dined me, took me on trip, We went to the movies and the lot. Now that we are married, all he does is wacthsports twenty-four seven. He has children just as I do that were before we got togther. I love everybody, but he makes mesick with the actions that come with his family and children compared to how he is with my children and grand kids. He also has grand kids. He doesn not care about anyone but his daugjther and grandson along with his oldest siater. He discusses any and everything with them. When it comes to communication between us there is a problem. He hides everything from me. I usually fine out things from his sister. Whom I love dearly. He is very selfish, self-centered, rude and ignorant. I now see why his first two marriges did’t workout. He should have never married anyone, because of his stubborn ways and attituide. He has a gift of gab, but is all fake and he fooled me tremendously. I have thought aboutmleaving him and ending this relationship so many times, but my sister-in-law says fight for my marriage, but I often think that it is not worth saving, especially since he doesn’t seem to care one way or another if we stay togther or not. He acts like he’s married to his daughter. He is much more loving and caring to her tham me. I wish she would stay home and away from my home.

  9. Me and my husband have been married for almost 3 years and we have a one year old son. We dated for about 9 mo. And got married before our late deployment. I came back halfway. Through and got out and had our son .well I went to stay with his family for the rest of the year because it was a hard pregnancy which we spoke about .and since then our relationship. Has been on a downward spiral since the baby and we argue about him the being lazyand unreasonable Now we talk (I) till Im blue he does not listen to me calls me crazy and names all the time. Shoots down everything I say and of late has started treating our son less then nice ignoring him and yelling all the time to, the point were he is scared of him. And his manners, hygiene. Are disgusting. Now. I want, need to know what to do should I even save my marriage. Also I am a stay at home mom but I get VA benefits every month and maybe he expects me to be the subservient. Wife that worships him. If so how do I assert myself to him in non aggressive. Manner

  10. This is to Nikki… Broke my heart reading your post… I think you have to first and foremost put the needs of your children first- I really don’t like the fact that you used the word “neglect” when you were describing how your husband treats your oldest daughter- not to mention hes not buying any food to feed his family- to me these are huge signs that you need to make some kind of drastic move in relation to staying with your husband. Do you have the support of your outside family? Maybe they could let you stay with them for a while until you could get on your feet- or provide childcare so you could get a part time job even so you can start building a life for you and your children.
    I feel for you because I myself am pondering the end of my marriage (7 years and 2 daughters) and I know how scary the concept of being alone can be- but from what you have said about your husband it seems to me like your children deserve better- you deserve better- look for support and friends who are there for you- there are people in the world who love you and want to help you- Don’t ever forget how special you are!

  11. One sign of a bad relationship is lack of interest on your boyfriend’s part! If he isn’t contacting you, then maybe he’s not all that into you.

    Here’s an article for girlfriends whose boyfriends aren’t interested in the relationship – I wrote it in response to Jasmine’s comment and question.

    Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Text or Call? How to Pique His Interest

    I’m sorry I can’t write articles for everyone…I sincerely wish I could respond to everyone who comments, but I have to get back to work!

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  12. Hi there

    I am a 27 year old woman married for 4 years with 3 kids, aged 9, 3 and 2 years. A couple of months ago I have decide to leave my work and take care of the kids to reduce their constant ill health, well it work they are not so sickly as before. However now the finacial problems is building and I am unable to get employement again cause all the accounts that could have been paid has rather gone int arrears. My husband received a good bonus last year and could finish the debt that was on my name, but just went on doing his own thing and making his own plans.

    Now things are really tough, he has not been able to buy food inb the house for 2 months now, everytime he runs to his mommy. But when he gets money he uses it for other things knowing I dont have an income he stillgoes ahead and does his own thing, he does not talk to me about anything. Not even about his day at work, he treats me as if I am a stranger and my oldest daughter is being neglected by him complety. He only gives the little ones attention.

    I dont know what to do any more, when I talk to him, he refuses to answer or pretends that he did not hear me. It is hurting me, cause it seems the only time I am of any worth to him is whan He wants to sleep with me. It makes me feel like a cheap whore, and I dont like feeling this way. He hardly ever says that he loves me or ever show it either.

    Please I need advice, cuase it feels that we are growing futher and futher apart.

  13. Hi,
    we had a love marriage, things were fine but soon after my daughter was born it changed, now i and my husband keeps fighting, its gone worse we have reached till divorce. he just keeps doubting thinking i go out with boys whereas i do not relation with anyone. i know i am married and a mother of a child. he just keeps doubting. infact i feel he has relation with someone else. he is in australia and now we have stopped talking to each other.he have asked for my daughters custody. he doesnt understand. i am tired and have left all the hopes that things will clear.

  14. Well as I can see I’m nt the only one that is in need of
    Advice when me nd my bf first met everything was going great
    Never fought nd if he did we would tlk about but then again our
    Relationship wasn’t that serious until we told eachother that
    We loved eachother … it was an amazing feeling but as we gt serious
    We kinda strted arguing for lil dumb thing will then all the fighting stoped
    Once we found out we were 6weeks pregnant ..but at high risk of miscarriage
    Now me nd my bf been together for seven months ..nd now
    5monhs pregnant ..nd now we fight all the time I love my bf soo much
    We hve days w no Fightn but when we do argue.its over the phone I mean
    At 7months nto the relationship we shouldnt be arguing we should be
    Making memories feels like my relationship is the opposite I do have a lot
    Self estem nd insecurities w my self … because my past relations
    They were abusive, physical nd emotionaly I think it has a lot to do with
    With the fighting ..soo I need to fix this before I lose my bf nd my relationship
    For good

  15. Hello Everyone. I have been with this guys almost for one year, and i love him a lot. He used to text me and call me everyday before he had me. However, now i do all the calling and texting. When i complain about it he says that he is going through a lot now. He just lost his business and he is working as a waiter. He wants me to be understanding and he doesn’t have time for problems. When i do the calling, and i plane the events he is fine with it. If i don’t do it he won’t. Is it wrong me doing the calling in the relationship? things will get better one day?? we fight sometimes for stupid stuff. Once we drunk coffee at 5:30 am at the park, and i felt he loved me… he says he is tired and has a lot of problems and still he tries to give me time. And he admitted that he should treat me better, but he is depressed. what should i do??

  16. Im only 16 and i was in a relationship with someone since i was 11.. i know its pretty young but i love him. i still do.. He gets busy in work and doesnt talk to me for days. I have spoken to him about this but he keeps ignoring me. I feel like im not worth his time or something. i try my best to ask him to help me out and we could see each othe rmore often but we always end up in a fight because my parents are strict and im not allowed out much besides my free periods at school. I feel the he is maybe cheating on me. I know he loves me but these things happen when you least expect them. And please help me out because he hasnt talk to me for 4 days now… he isnt answering his phone. i even got my friend to call him but he didnt answer. and his facebook is deactivated.. i need to speak to him. i know he will speak to me soon but he is ignoring me now and he does it all the time. please help me.

  17. Me and my girlfriend fell in love very early in our relationship. We both had been married and divorced. She asked for time to think 6 months ago and the next day started texting another guy. Spent some but little time with him during this week. At the end of the week she said they had only text. We got back together and she told me that’s all it was and that she had told him we were gonna work it out and that they didn’t need to talk anymore. I found out a couple months later that she was texting.g him again. But she lied to me when I asked and got mad that I asked and said why don’t you believe me when I say no.I kept probing and finally after a long 3 day fight I got the truth. She was texting him again only when I wasn’t around and that it meant nothing. So there have been 3 times since that I’ve asked her has she talked to him. They are coworkers that teach in the same hall. When I ask her she gets mad and makes comments like we arnt ready to get married and that I question her too much. This last time she refused to talk about it and after 4 days I demanded we talk threw it. She wouldn’t and we got in a fight and its been over 3weeks since we’ve talked or seen each other. She had told me 5 days before the fight that she wanted to marry me. Then during the fight she said that was just wishful thinking. I never thought we would break up but we have. This is the best relationship either one of us has ever been in and we are happy except when we fight. She runs and doesn’t want to talk about it and here we are. Broke up. We love each other and I’ve told her I want work on it and not give up but she’s done. We have a strong love
    e for each other and bond. She tells her friends that she wanted to marry me just a few days before this happened. I don’t want to lose her but what can I do? She’s not willing. Any advice? Or maybe why she acts like that one day and turns it off the next?,

  18. ok so i read one of your post about half way down the page…and your right it goes upon what i KNOW is right for me…idk i just maybe im to young to understand it yet..i just know that the feeling is real..

  19. hello…so me and my boyfriend of 4 years have recently been fighting like every single day for the past year now….he is a full time homebody that works graveyards and i am a nightowl that works the day shift…ever since our new shifts we have become complete opposites in everything evrything everything…it hurts me that when we fight we say anything and evrything bad to each other…hurtful words pour out from both of us…we both get paid good but im the one that usualy ends up with the exspenss..when we go out to eat when we go shopping when it comes to our habbits…i just want that to get sorted out and us to be fair to each other..i love him and i know he loves me but i am scared that we will fall apart and its not gna last forever like we plan..he gave me a promise ring and i know he is so sincere about it..i forgot to mention that i was only 18 when we began and was still exporing myself..now that some things in my life have happend i like to be typical and do fun things and be out doors and adventurous and hang out and be happy..he on the other hand would rather be locked in the house either on the games on his phone or on the playstation..dont get me wrong i enjoy it too but he will wake up at all hours of his rest and get on his phone…it makes me furious…when he wants to do something sumtimes i wont because of that..and when i want to do something hes to tired..we are constantly back and forth at each other..he tells me i act like im 14 and vise versa..i just dont know what to do…its killing me..i need advice..my heads sayin to leave but my heart knows if i stick it out that we can overcome it…but how long is it gna take and is it healthy??? sorry for the novel im just realy sad..

  20. Hi i am 40 currently living with my parnter who is 39, we have brought a house together, we are not currently getting on, mostly due to finances, we have been together for 11 years now and got engaged last year. The financial pressure is that i pay for 95% of the bills in the house and feel that he doesn’t appreciate this as he will make snied comments about me putting the lottery on, i snapped and asked him what does he think of me, i said to him its alright for him as he does worry about money, from that his body language changed and we haven’t spoke for 2 days. Finances always come up every so oftern, i really feel that we have reached the end of our relationship as he doesn’t let me in when i try to sort out our finances also i feel that he doesn’t see me as part of his family. he has 3 children with his ex partner and his mother died 2 years ago who he would go to for money and when we argued he would go back to his parents house. i would say that i am the dominant on in the relationship and because i see things what he does it gets me angry and i hold it inside, which frustrates me. Even though i am the stronger on, he can be very dismissive of me and completely block me out, this has gone on for years and wish that i had left then, but i feel that i am trapped now because of the house. does this sound like the relationship is over?

  21. Okay, I have been wondering this for awhile now. First it started off as me & my fiance living together & one day I get a call from a friend & them asking if her & her boyfriend could stay at my place till they get back on there feet. I went ahead & said yes because I couldn’t just say no. So they have been living with me for over a month now & they bring there 3 dogs with them, plus mine so that makes 6 dogs!! >:/ They don’t offer to buy the dog food nor pay any sort of bills or buy anything for the house. When I ask she seems to give me an attitude just because I ask for stuff around the house. Her dogs have torn a hole in my floor (dont seem like there even gunna pay for it) & ruined the guest bed door & door knob! I want them to move out but I don’t want to be mean about it or make it seems mean in anyway? Does roommate couples ruin you & your fiances relationship? I also noticed ever since they have moved in our relationship has been funny? It was amazing before they moved in & now it’s like this & I don’t like it!! What should I do???? Help!?

  22. Ok im 25yrs old male and im engaged with a 21yr old. Everything was good at the start, then I lost my job we had some real financial problems and she was pregnant at the time. Finally I started working agin everything was looking good. So I wanted to go out with her but evertime i ask her would be an excuse so we started to fall apart we had some problems were we where living. So I lost my job once again we move in with her sister now when I thought everything was looking good she drop the bomb on me ” I love you but im not in love with you” but she still wants to fix our relationship we both recodnized we made mistakes now we are trying to work them but i dont what should I am in love with her how can I fix it or is it done. I need to know what to do.

  23. Hi there Laurie

    I am 20years in a relationship with a 36 years old, the problem is we are fighting alt recently even on minor things. I aint cheating on him and not even considering it at all. We both wan fix up what is really wrong between us and work through it. I love him so much and i know he loves me as well. We just need to fix what is really putting a strain in us. please help

  24. hi,
    I have been in a relationsips for 5 years and in that 5 years i have broken up with him twice and almost a 3 before he proposed to me i have 3 kids one 12 and she has a diffrent dad then the other two my middle child passed when i was 5 months prego and now we have a one year old together we fight a lot about petty things theres lack of trust on his part cause i was acussed of cheating on him i never had but of coruse he doesnt see it that way him mom wants to fight with me all the time his sister in law talks bad about me all them and he gets mad at me for everything he goes through my phone without asking its almost like hes not happy unless we are not fight hes says i dont love and that he only asked me to marry just to make me happy what do he thought it would fix everything what do i do i love him but he gets on my neavres a lot and are sex life well its theres i guess what do i go how do i fix this cause he hates talking about things please help thank you

  25. Dear Kay,
    You had questions about a 3some….sweetheart, Im here to tell u…it completely ruined my marriage…it only happened once butt was enough to do extensive damage…please trust me…what you and your husband have is sacred…Im not an old timer Thats not hip to things these days…Im actually more open minded than most…and Im only 27….Dont do it hunny..

  26. I have been married for almost 10 years and have 3 beautiful children aged 12, 3 and 9 months. Before I married my husband we had discussions about him wanting a threesome. He has had these in the past with previous partners but not with me and I have no interest in it. Before I married him he promised me he wasn’t going to ask me again about having one. In the last couple of months we have hit a rough patch and sure enough he is now saying he wants a threesome. I have only slept with 2 people in my life and find sex something special. Obviously I have been distraught cos now my husband says we want different things. He even told me the other say he was ‘willing to share me”!!! Gee how lovely of him!!! He is trying to sell me on 2 men and then I know he will say but we had another man, now my turn for a woman. I am almost 33 years old and the idea of starting over with 3 kids is terrifying. I love my husband to bits but when he told me he was willing to share me, he broke my heart and I don’t know if it can ever be repaired. Any advice??

  27. I got married three years back. We have a kid 9 months old. I was alchohelic and that became very serious after a level. We had fights, my wife went to her brother twice. The point of argument is that I wish to stay with my parents and leave my place and city of work, to which she has strong reservations. We are at the two extreme ends in this matter. Done know what to do, please help. I might have not been able to narrate in detail but my text would give you some idea.

  28. Dear Rai,

    What a dilemma – it’s almost like you have to choose between your marriage and the happiness of your family. It doesn’t sound like your relationship is that bad…it’s just the lifestyle that you’re struggling with.

    It’s a difficult life, being a military wife. My husband is a geologist who goes away for 6-8 weeks every summer. I can’t imagine him being deployed – but it would fix one of the most trivial couples’ problems: leaving the toilet seat up! He doesn’t do that, but you know what I mean. Sometimes the trivial daily things cause bigger problems than the big things.

    I wrote this article for you:

    Tips for Military Wives Who Don’t Like Their Husbands’ Jobs

    I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts there or here.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  29. Hi I have been married for 10 years and have three boys ages 8, 5 and 17 months, My Husband is in the United states Marines and I am very proud of him and love him with all my heart, Recently I took my children on vacation away from him since he could not get anytime off to go with us, since we have been back we have not seen eye to eye as I didnt want to come back to this duty station as I dont have any friends here and nor do my children as everyone leaves and we are still here but we had a really great time on vacation, anyways I havent been treating my husband the way I should he would tell me i dont respect him or his job and his family and now he dosent come home and wont answer my phone calls and hasnt seen the children I dont know what to do I admit I wasnt happy when we came home but I still really love and want to be friends with my husband again not only for our children but for us as he is going for a year away on deployment coming jan 2012 and I want to get through these 5 months without fighting and arguing how do I do it and what advice do you have I have hurt him and i dont think he believes me when I say Im sorry im at the end of solutions please help

  30. If your husband refuses to talk about your marriage, then there isn’t much hope that you can improve your relationship! Communication is the key to a happy, healthy marriage.