How to Overcome Shyness, Social Anxiety for College Students
So, these tips revolve around introverted personality traits rather than social anxiety as a mental health issue.
Before the tips, a quip:
“If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world, it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature.” ~ Bruce Barton
Don’t try to change your personality traits, my friends. Instead, work with your personality to set and achieve goals in your life. To learn more, read How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships.
And, here are five tips that may change how you think of shyness and social anxiety – and I hope they make your college life fun, interesting, and profitable!
How to Overcome Shyness and Social Anxiety for College Students
This is a follow-up to Tips for Shy College Students With Introverted Personality Traits (which explains introversion in more detail).
1. Learn the difference between shyness and introversion. “Introverts are apt to be quieter, which is often interpreted as shyness,” says Katharine Myers in Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead, by Nancy Ancowitz. “However, it may or may not be. Shyness has more to do with a lack of social skills. Introverts are more self-contained, which can seem shy.” Even so, introversion and shyness are related. Introverts are more likely to be shy than extroverts. You can be an outgoing introvert (like me!) – which means you’re fine to make small talk for a few hours, then you run out of gas.
2. Figure out how introverted you are. Most college students have both introverted and extroverted personality traits. And, most students tend to be a little more one than the others…which is why taking a test for introverted personality traits is helpful! For instance, if you’re highly introverted, then you might want to focus on college activities and goals that allow you to be alone most of the time. Introverted college students prefer to focus on details; they avoid groups or energetic social situations.
3. Accept your shyness and social anxiety. Many college students think they’re socially inept, weird, or antisocial – when they’re really just introverted! Introverts don’t always realize that they’re drained by groups of people and that they process their thoughts and feelings differently than extroverts. The more college students know about introverted personality traits – and the more comfortable they are with themselves – the easier it’ll be to overcome feelings of shyness and social anxiety.
4. Create a realistic, healthy school schedule. Schedule “downtime” into your routine – time to be alone, to do what you love, and to re-energize (introverts are drained by groups of people). Balance your downtime with activities with other college students. Don’t become a hermit – that won’t help you overcome shyness and social anxiety! Rather, challenge yourself to do one or two healthy social activities a week. Learn how to make small talk for introverts (it’s a social skill that many introverts have to learn, and it helps them set and achieve their life goals like no other skill can).
5. Combine your natural strengths with social interactions. Marcus Buckingham is a career coach who advises people not to focus on their weaknesses. Instead, college students have to figure out what their strengths are, and sharpen them even more. “It’s ironic that your strengths can be so easy to overlook, because they’re clamoring for your attention in the most basic way,” says Buckingham, who wrote Go Put Your Strengths to Work: 6 Powerful Steps to Achieve Outstanding Performance. “Using them makes you feel strong. All you have to do is teach yourself to pay attention. Try to be conscious of yourself and how you feel as you’re completing your day-to-day tasks.” College students, what are you good at? Can you combine your strengths with social activities? If you feel good about yourself in a social situation, it’ll be easier to overcome shyness and social anxiety.
If you’re not happy with your personality, read The Unhappy Introvert – When Introverted Personality Traits Cause Problems.
If you’d like tips for achieving goals at college, read College Success Tips – How to Succeed at School.
And if you have any questions or thoughts on overcoming shyness and social anxiety, please fire away below!
Category: Career, Education & Student Tips, Success Tips, Workplace Tips
Wow you are so right about the line where you say “introverts are drained by groups of people”. I’ve always found that to be true, but I could never figure out why! It’s as if being around lots of people makes me a bit anxious, although luckily I’ve never had panic attacks. Nice article, I learned a good bit from it…thanks
Hmmm…interesting points you make, Tim! I think there are different levels of shyness. Some shy people get highly anxious, while others are just mildly shy and don’t like to speak up in front of others. There are degrees of shyness and social anxiety — not just for college students!
I agree that shyness doesn’t mean someone is introverted, and vice versa.
Finding the balance between overcoming shyness and still accepting and liking oneself is the best way to achieve your goals!
Good essay.
Introversion and shyness are two radically distinct things. Introverted people tend to prefer solitude, but are able to interact fine with others.
Shyness, in contrast, involves anxiety around other people, coupled with not being able to think of things to say or knowing how to participate in the discussion.
One can be an introvert and not shy or shy but not an introvert.
Shyness certainly makes it more difficult to succeed in the world of work, and just about any other area of life, since practically everything we do in all fields relies on human interaction.