Comments on: How to Overcome the Pain of a Bad Breakup and Be Happy Again http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/ Got goals? Need a push in the right direction? You've come to the right place! Thu, 24 May 2012 06:38:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Babes http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-43337 Babes Mon, 07 May 2012 07:35:19 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-43337 my boyfriend of 6months broke up with me yesterday because I researched about his past..the reason I initiated the research was not because I am an insecure person but it was because it took him 2 months to tell me he had a son from a previous relationship.. This got me suspicious and I just wanted to find out more about who I was dealing with, I didn't want anymore surprises..I'm really hurt because during the past 6 months he has made me a very happy woman.. He was very sweet.. I know I maybe I should have trusted him and not research about him.. I doubt I will ever come across some one as sweet as he is.. I am so hurt, wish I could bring him back but seemingly his mind is made up.. I just don't know if I'll ever have energy to date again, a heart break is just too much to bear.. Too much.. my boyfriend of 6months broke up with me yesterday because I researched about his past..the reason I initiated the research was not because I am an insecure person but it was because it took him 2 months to tell me he had a son from a previous relationship.. This got me suspicious and I just wanted to find out more about who I was dealing with, I didn’t want anymore surprises..I’m really hurt because during the past 6 months he has made me a very happy woman.. He was very sweet.. I know I maybe I should have trusted him and not research about him.. I doubt I will ever come across some one as sweet as he is.. I am so hurt, wish I could bring him back but seemingly his mind is made up.. I just don’t know if I’ll ever have energy to date again, a heart break is just too much to bear.. Too much..

]]> By: Bea http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-42621 Bea Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:41:36 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-42621 Hi laurie, I am in a very difficult situation. Break up with the father of my 2 kids, we are not married but all living together. I sleep inside the room w my 2 kids while he sleep in living room. He avoiding me evrytime he see me, he will go out from the house quickly, as if i hv virus. It hurting me so much. he break up w me and some more he avoiding me. I asked him if me n kids can just move out from the house bec im grieving from break up i cannot move on if im still living w him.I ask him if me n kids can move out because i hv no money to rent other flat. he said ok he will pay for it but wait til end of may bec no money yet. Im working in his company and he is earning alot, he is earning 10x of the rent deposit. i dnt understand why hv to wait end of may. and why he can live with our situation like this. Is he not hurt? He doesnt need to move on? He moved on already thats why its ok with him if we all still living together? I really cannot understand the situation anymore. The other day we agreed to get a lawyer to discuss how can he support me n our kids. When i wrote down my demand and i told him he can edit it as to what he want, bur he got angry and said he will never help me anymore. I really dont understand anymore what is happening. Now im stocked in his house. he dnt let me work in his company anymore, but im statring a small business, no income yet thats why i cannot be independent yet. Evryday im crying and hugging my kids. I really cannot understand our situation. pls advise me wat to do. thank u so much. Hi laurie, I am in a very difficult situation. Break up with the father of my 2 kids, we are not married but all living together. I sleep inside the room w my 2 kids while he sleep in living room. He avoiding me evrytime he see me, he will go out from the house quickly, as if i hv virus. It hurting me so much. he break up w me and some more he avoiding me. I asked him if me n kids can just move out from the house bec im grieving from break up i cannot move on if im still living w him.I ask him if me n kids can move out because i hv no money to rent other flat. he said ok he will pay for it but wait til end of may bec no money yet. Im working in his company and he is earning alot, he is earning 10x of the rent deposit. i dnt understand why hv to wait end of may. and why he can live with our situation like this. Is he not hurt? He doesnt need to move on? He moved on already thats why its ok with him if we all still living together? I really cannot understand the situation anymore. The other day we agreed to get a lawyer to discuss how can he support me n our kids. When i wrote down my demand and i told him he can edit it as to what he want, bur he got angry and said he will never help me anymore. I really dont understand anymore what is happening. Now im stocked in his house. he dnt let me work in his company anymore, but im statring a small business, no income yet thats why i cannot be independent yet. Evryday im crying and hugging my kids. I really cannot understand our situation. pls advise me wat to do. thank u so much.

]]> By: Priya http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-39302 Priya Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:41:29 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-39302 Hi Laurie - I recently got dumped by my boy friend. We had been dating for just 11 months but became quite serious. We had an apartment together and he just recently moved out and decided to pursue a job in Hawaii. I feel like I am in a constant tsunami of emotions. I did all the wrong things after our breakup, and didn't give him time and space and tried to "fix" our relationship. Every day I regret the things that I hadn't done in our relationship. It was a shock when he broke up with me as this was someone that I wanted to marry. I keep trying to think positive and I know time heals all wounds but I can't seem to get over him. He was the best part of my life and I don't know how to go on without him. I feel empty and lack any type of motivation. I wish things had turned out differently. Hi Laurie -
I recently got dumped by my boy friend. We had been dating for just 11 months but became quite serious. We had an apartment together and he just recently moved out and decided to pursue a job in Hawaii. I feel like I am in a constant tsunami of emotions. I did all the wrong things after our breakup, and didn’t give him time and space and tried to “fix” our relationship. Every day I regret the things that I hadn’t done in our relationship. It was a shock when he broke up with me as this was someone that I wanted to marry. I keep trying to think positive and I know time heals all wounds but I can’t seem to get over him. He was the best part of my life and I don’t know how to go on without him. I feel empty and lack any type of motivation. I wish things had turned out differently.

]]> By: Venusha http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-39211 Venusha Fri, 23 Dec 2011 13:57:24 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-39211 Dear Laurie..Great article. I'm going through a worst pain.I had a very best friend of mine who always cared for me so much.He said he loves me and wants to get committed to me.As he was younger to me i was afraid to admit but i started to get feelings for him..All of a sudden he spoke so ill about me,abused my family.I Was unable to understand why he behaved like that.When i asked him what went wrong he made his family member to scold me.They started telling i'm disturbing him when he has no feelings for me.I pleaded his family member to allow me to speak to him for 5 min. He just shouted at me infront of them,twisting and blaming everything on me. There was many mistakes from my side i expected regular messages,calls from him.I could have troubled him.But the punishment he gave is so big.His words n behaviour is haunting me,can't digest the bad girl image from his family side. It hurts so deeply.I don't understand what made him to give me this hell. Dear Laurie..Great article.
I’m going through a worst pain.I had a very best friend of mine who always cared for me so much.He said he loves me and wants to get committed to me.As he was younger to me i was afraid to admit but i started to get feelings for him..All of a sudden he spoke so ill about me,abused my family.I Was unable to understand why he behaved like that.When i asked him what went wrong he made his family member to scold me.They started telling i’m disturbing him when he has no feelings for me.I pleaded his family member to allow me to speak to him for 5 min. He just shouted at me infront of them,twisting and blaming everything on me.
There was many mistakes from my side i expected regular messages,calls from him.I could have troubled him.But the punishment he gave is so big.His words n behaviour is haunting me,can’t digest the bad girl image from his family side. It hurts so deeply.I don’t understand what made him to give me this hell.

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-28368 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 07 Oct 2011 17:27:02 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-28368 Dear Celeste, I'm sorry to hear how hard it is for you to overcome your breakup and be happy again. Breaking up is heartbreaking -- I know. It sounds like you need to rebuild your life. Your ex is the main thing in your life -- and it should never be that way. A boyfriend or husband should be one component of a busy, happy, healthy, fulfilling life! Not the pivotal point or the cornerstone. It'll be painful, but you need to move forward. You need to find things that interest you -- and remember that life is about MORE than a love relationship! The more fulfilled and happy you are in your life, the more attractive you'll be to others and to yourself. What makes you happy, outside of your ex? Dear Celeste,

I’m sorry to hear how hard it is for you to overcome your breakup and be happy again. Breaking up is heartbreaking — I know.

It sounds like you need to rebuild your life. Your ex is the main thing in your life — and it should never be that way. A boyfriend or husband should be one component of a busy, happy, healthy, fulfilling life! Not the pivotal point or the cornerstone.

It’ll be painful, but you need to move forward. You need to find things that interest you — and remember that life is about MORE than a love relationship! The more fulfilled and happy you are in your life, the more attractive you’ll be to others and to yourself.

What makes you happy, outside of your ex?

]]> By: Celeste http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-28016 Celeste Tue, 04 Oct 2011 10:41:08 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-28016 Hi Laurie, chance upon ur site and was glad that there is someone who keep up and responds to comments despite the article being written some time ago. I had broken up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years about 2 months ago. It was a mutual decision, mainly due to parent's pressure (my parents didn't quite like him) and I also thought it was a good chance for us to experience more of the outside world before we decide that we're the one for each other. In our early 20s here by the way. Recently my only best friend drifted apart from me due to some issues. I felt like I'm all alone, I've lost the 2 most important people in my life. My ex is very supportive, offering to be friends and to be there whenever I need someone. It made it harder for me to forget about him even though it was really nice of him. Maybe I was too lonely or I just felt reliant on him, I tried to get him back through all means. I felt like I could do anything but he didn't want to, he said he won't get into a relationship any sooner; he doesn't want any commitment, just want to have fun. I even suggested I could be the only one committing and I won't mind if he's meeting other girls. Very silly but I didn't want to lose him. He said there's still feelings, he still cares for me but he just didn't want to be back in the relationship any more. He insists on being friends. I find myself going back to him again and again, I couldn't forget the times we had together even though I know we broke up for a reason. I made a pact with him that if we are still single maybe 1 year down the road, we can try and see if things works out between us again. But I feel so devastated, I can't stop talking to him, he's like my pillar of strength and support throughout this few years. I don't have any other friends I can rely on for support and I don't want my family to know I still can't get over.. Hi Laurie, chance upon ur site and was glad that there is someone who keep up and responds to comments despite the article being written some time ago. I had broken up with my boyfriend of almost 4 years about 2 months ago. It was a mutual decision, mainly due to parent’s pressure (my parents didn’t quite like him) and I also thought it was a good chance for us to experience more of the outside world before we decide that we’re the one for each other. In our early 20s here by the way. Recently my only best friend drifted apart from me due to some issues. I felt like I’m all alone, I’ve lost the 2 most important people in my life. My ex is very supportive, offering to be friends and to be there whenever I need someone. It made it harder for me to forget about him even though it was really nice of him. Maybe I was too lonely or I just felt reliant on him, I tried to get him back through all means. I felt like I could do anything but he didn’t want to, he said he won’t get into a relationship any sooner; he doesn’t want any commitment, just want to have fun. I even suggested I could be the only one committing and I won’t mind if he’s meeting other girls. Very silly but I didn’t want to lose him. He said there’s still feelings, he still cares for me but he just didn’t want to be back in the relationship any more. He insists on being friends. I find myself going back to him again and again, I couldn’t forget the times we had together even though I know we broke up for a reason. I made a pact with him that if we are still single maybe 1 year down the road, we can try and see if things works out between us again. But I feel so devastated, I can’t stop talking to him, he’s like my pillar of strength and support throughout this few years. I don’t have any other friends I can rely on for support and I don’t want my family to know I still can’t get over..

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-25203 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Wed, 31 Aug 2011 22:29:34 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-25203 Dear Jan, Thanks for sharing your relationship here. It sounds like both you and your boyfriend are in a lot of pain. It's a helpless feeling, seeing someone you love feel so bad about himself, isn't it? Depression can be so devastating on so many levels. Is it possible to find a balance between moving on and making sure he's okay? Staying friends isn't a healthy option, as you can't go back to holding hands (or just having coffee!). But of course you don't want to just abandon him - he's in pain. I think a good (but difficult) solution is to stay in periodic touch, perhaps by email every month. Let him know you're thinking about him, but that you need time and space to heal. You really do need to protect your heart and mind, because the more contact you have, the harder it'll be to move on. Consider calling a depression hotline, and asking for advice on helping from a distance. They may even suggest no contact at all - they might encourage you to send him resources, and let him pick up those resources when he's ready. I wrote this article for you: <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-recover-the-years-you-wasted-in-a-relationship/" rel="nofollow">How to Recover the Years You Wasted in a Relationship</a> And you may also be interested in this one: <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-cope-with-your-partners-depression-relationship/" rel="nofollow">How to Cope With Your Partner’s Depression in a Relationship</a> I hope this helps, and welcome your thoughts here or there. Blessings, Laurie Dear Jan,

Thanks for sharing your relationship here. It sounds like both you and your boyfriend are in a lot of pain. It’s a helpless feeling, seeing someone you love feel so bad about himself, isn’t it? Depression can be so devastating on so many levels.

Is it possible to find a balance between moving on and making sure he’s okay? Staying friends isn’t a healthy option, as you can’t go back to holding hands (or just having coffee!). But of course you don’t want to just abandon him – he’s in pain.

I think a good (but difficult) solution is to stay in periodic touch, perhaps by email every month. Let him know you’re thinking about him, but that you need time and space to heal. You really do need to protect your heart and mind, because the more contact you have, the harder it’ll be to move on.

Consider calling a depression hotline, and asking for advice on helping from a distance. They may even suggest no contact at all – they might encourage you to send him resources, and let him pick up those resources when he’s ready.

I wrote this article for you:

How to Recover the Years You Wasted in a Relationship

And you may also be interested in this one:

How to Cope With Your Partner’s Depression in a Relationship

I hope this helps, and welcome your thoughts here or there.

Blessings,
Laurie

]]> By: Jan http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-25088 Jan Tue, 30 Aug 2011 17:15:54 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-25088 My bf is clinically depressed and has broken up with me. We are both in our mid-forties and have been together for 3 years. He has been depressed before but has never broken up with me before. He refuses to go to his doctor to get help. I'm heartbroken and at my wits end - he said he wants to be friends as thats all he can offer right now, that he is a waste of space and that I deserve to be with someone who can give me the time and affection I deserve. I cant be friends with someone I love, but I'm worried about him and how else can I keep contact and make sure he's ok? Is there any point? Should I just try to move on and accept that the relationship is over? Can someone with chronic depression really have a successful relationship? I feel like I've wasted the past 3 years of my life on hopes and plans for the future that are now just gone and dont think I can put myself through this again. Any advice would be appreciated. My bf is clinically depressed and has broken up with me. We are both in our mid-forties and have been together for 3 years. He has been depressed before but has never broken up with me before. He refuses to go to his doctor to get help. I’m heartbroken and at my wits end – he said he wants to be friends as thats all he can offer right now, that he is a waste of space and that I deserve to be with someone who can give me the time and affection I deserve. I cant be friends with someone I love, but I’m worried about him and how else can I keep contact and make sure he’s ok? Is there any point? Should I just try to move on and accept that the relationship is over? Can someone with chronic depression really have a successful relationship? I feel like I’ve wasted the past 3 years of my life on hopes and plans for the future that are now just gone and dont think I can put myself through this again. Any advice would be appreciated.

]]> By: jeric http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-11340 jeric Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:34:07 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-11340 Dear Lourie, Thank you for this article. It is really painful overcoming heartache... I am thankful that this article can help me in this strugle of mine..in one way or another... More power to you! Regards, Jeric Dear Lourie,

Thank you for this article. It is really painful overcoming heartache…
I am thankful that this article can help me in this strugle of mine..in one way or another…

More power to you!

Regards,

Jeric

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-overcome-breakup-be-happy-again-heal-heartache/comment-page-1/#comment-11056 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:25:26 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=4515#comment-11056 Hi Wesley, I'm sorry to hear that you're still struggling with sadness and loss because of your breakup. It's hard to let go of people we love...and it's really hard to learn that they're in a new relationship! I wrote this article for you: <a href="http://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/relationship-breakup-advice-%e2%80%93-help-getting-over-your-ex/" rel="nofollow">Relationship Breakup Advice – Help Getting Over Your Ex</a> I hope it helps. Best wishes, Laurie Hi Wesley,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re still struggling with sadness and loss because of your breakup. It’s hard to let go of people we love…and it’s really hard to learn that they’re in a new relationship!

I wrote this article for you:

Relationship Breakup Advice – Help Getting Over Your Ex

I hope it helps.

Best wishes,
Laurie

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