More importantly, these tips will help you determine if you really WANT to make up with your ex…or if you’re better off letting go of the past and moving on to a happier, healthier stage of life.
I’ve written more articles about letting go of someone you love than about getting back together with your ex, because I mostly believe that it’s better to move forward.
However, several readers asked for tips on getting an ex back after a breakup – and in some cases, getting back together is the best thing you could ever do. It depends on why you broke up and why you want to get back together. Try to look beyond your heartache and pain, and be objective about your reasons for wanting to reunite. Focus on being a healthy, happy, strong person — not a weak, desperate waif who is scared of not finding love again.
5 Tips for Making Up After Breaking Up
If you’re convinced that you can’t let go and move on, here are a few strategies for getting back together with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
Don’t play games with your ex
Perhaps you’re tempted to make him or her jealous by flirting or even sleeping with certain people. Don’t do it! Don’t play “mind games” or find psychological tricks for getting back together. Instead, be open, honest, and clear about why you want to make up instead of breaking up.
Get emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy
Nothing is more attractive than an emotionally, physically, spiritually healthy person! Not even a skinny body, full head of hair, expensive sports car, or buckets of money in the bank. If you want to get your ex back, do some work on your own psyche. This isn’t just about working on your weaknesses, it’s about developing your strengths so you’re as happy and grounded as possible.
Figure out why your relationship fell apart
Why was your relationship unhealthy? Was it going “bad” for a long time, or was it an unexpected breakup? Did your ex want to make changes…did you want things to change, but didn’t know how to make those changes? One of the first steps for getting back together with your ex is to be clear on why it happened.
Was the breakup was a mistake? How to Get Your Ex Back Forever
Talk to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend about why you broke up
One of the biggest predictors of successfully making up with an ex is whether you can honestly and effectively communicate with one another. Can you talk about your relationship without yelling, insulting, bringing up the past in a negative way? Can you be vulnerable with your ex – which includes admitting that you may need to change your own lifestyle or habits? If you want to get back together with your ex after an emotional affair, you may want to invest some time, energy, and money in couples counseling.
Make sure something in your relationship has changed
You can’t simply get back together without dealing with the catalyst that caused the breakup. This goes back to my second tip for making up after breaking up: figure out why your relationship ended. But, getting back together involves more than just knowing what went wrong: making up is about fixing what went wrong. Again, a session or two with a couples counselor may be helpful.
If you know deep in your heart that you and your ex aren’t getting back together, read 3 Reasons to Stop Begging Him to Come Back.
What do you think – can you make up after breaking up?
Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.” ~ Unknown.
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.